Chapter Eleven

The spirit is the true self.
-Cicero

Mamoru was depressed as he prepared for bed. Sad, but calm. There were plenty of valid reasons for him to be having a panic attack, but he couldn't bring himself to feel anything. He was numb, a living ice sculpture. And no wonder…

He undressed and shrugged into his night clothes. The apartment was oddly still, and a deathly quiet lingered in the air. Strange how he found himself missing Nick, when usually he thought of nothing but getting the boy to leave. Nick had gone to the temple with Kai and Averill when Rei offered them a spare room. They would have stayed, but Mamoru had insisted he wanted to be alone, so they'd left with a promise to return early the next day.

At the time it had seemed a grand idea, but now Mamoru wished he hadn't chased them away. It was lonely by himself, and strange to have his insane girlfriend tied up in the next room. He wondered if he should check on her… but of course he'd already done that, and she hadn't wanted him. That had hurt, to see her look at him with such coldness while the memory of her warm blue eyes and sweet smile still haunted his memory.

It was better to leave her alone. She was tied up, after all. She couldn't get herself into any serious trouble.

Mamoru crawled into bed, but he wasn't tired: his thoughts wouldn't give him peace. Why did he have such bad luck with girls? Usagi had left the fragile realm of sanity, and Akina… he sat up then and felt a new twist of guilt. Akina. He'd nearly forgotten about her in the stream of new events. Poor girl, he hadn't been her shoulder to cry on since Usagi's disappearance.

He was going to have to explain this to her somehow, but was fresh out of ideas. He certainly couldn't tell her the truth: she'd reserve him a nice cozy cell at the nearest asylum.

Mamoru sighed and switched off the light. What he needed was sleep. And as long as he didn't dream about her, he could escape his pain. He rolled over, and as the minutes ticked away, he slid into a deep, quiet sleep. It was a blessing.

Meanwhile, Serena was doing a victory dance, swinging her hips and jumping around with her fists in the air. She was free! Free! And with the boy-she-didn't-like all alone! She clasped her hands over her mouth to stop gleeful laughter. This was going to be so much fun.

Serena waited and listened to him get ready for bed. She could be patient when she tried, especially since sweet revenge was only minutes away. Soon, the only sound was her excited breathing, and she crept into the hall to listen further. She was met with only silence and darkness - perfect. She had learned an appreciation for darkness, and silence was tolerable.

She paused in the hall thoughtfully, one pointer finger under her chin. What to do first? How could she have the most fun with the boy-that-she-didn't-like?

With sudden inspiration, she passed his bedroom and moved on to the kitchen, searching with wide eyes until she found what she was looking for. She pulled it off the rack and smiled. A knife. A big one. She tested the edge on her thumb and was delighted when blood dripped to the floor. Content that this was the one, she licked the cut clean and wiped the knife on her dress. She was ready.

She tiptoed towards his bedroom, trying not to breathe. Now what? Should she rush in and do it quickly or wait for him to wake up and beg for mercy? That would be best. She could imagine the boy-that-she-didn't-like doing something like that.

His name is Mamo-chan, a voice in her mind corrected and Serena scowled.

Shut up, she told the girl in the white dress and entered despite her pleading. A silver beam of moonlight shone through the window to illuminate the boy's face. He looked so innocent, a sleeping child lost in a fantasy world. Serena moved closer. Her lips were parted in anticipation.

He was frowning, perhaps lost in an unpleasant dream, a warm-up for what was about to happen. Serena was pleased. She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to him, taking special care to keep the mattress as still as possible. It wouldn't be good if he woke before she was ready.

He lay motionless in that deep sleep, alertness faded into another reality. All the better. She carefully undid the buttons on his nightshirt and pulled it open. Some part of her noticed that his chest was very well-toned, but that didn't matter. He was still the boy-that-she-didn't-like and didn't compare to Lord Ahriman. No one could.

The girl in the white dress had been very quiet in her mind, but as soon as Serena lifted the knife, she came back to life. No! she screamed. Don't!

Serena paused, not because the girl had convinced her, but because she wanted to make her suffer longer. Stop being a nuisance, she scolded. Either go away or behave. You know this has to be done.

Why? The girl's voice was filled with tears. He hasn't done anything to you!

He did, Serena thought. He cheated on me.

He cheated on me. And I forgive him. I love him so much, the girl in the white dress insisted and Serena rolled her eyes.

That's very touching, but it doesn't change anything. Say goodbye to your lover, princess. Serena lifted her knife again and the girl's screams echoed through her mind.

NONONONONO! she yelled and took hold of the knife before Serena could swing it down.

Let go, Serena ordered and tried to yank it away, but the girl had an amazingly strong grip. Let GO! she screamed again with a strong mental push and felt the girl's sobbing presence release the knife and move to the back of her mind.

Annoying, Serena thought with a shake of her head. Well, she had taught that silly girl a lesson. She took a deep breath and repositioned the knife over his heart, and was about to strike - this time she really was - when she noticed that his eyes were open and watching her. This caught her completely off guard and she fell back with surprise. How long had he been awake? Was he too much of a coward to speak?

Serena regained her composure and leaned over him with a grin. "I came to say good night," she said sweetly. He didn't flinch, and looked back at her with a peculiar calm in his dark eyes.

"Go ahead," he said quietly and she blinked.

"What?"

"Go on," he urged. "Do what you came for." Serena felt blood rush to her face. Was he mocking her?

"Don't think I won't," she shot back and lifted the knife as proof. His eyes flicked towards it without a trace of fear.

"I believe you," he said. "Do it now."

Serena was confused: was he that suicidal? If so, he deserved it. However, it did take the fun away. It wasn't the same when the bastard wanted to die. She wished he would scream, and flail and beg for her mercy, but he just lay there silently with complete trust in her actions.

He sensed her hesitation and added, "It's for the best."

She glared at him. This had to be a trick. "Why's that?" she demanded and he smiled sadly.

"Simple," he explained. "If you kill me now, I won't have to hurt you later. One of us is going down, and I'd rather it be me. I've always been your protector, after all. This is the only way I can protect you against myself, so please go ahead and do it." He said it so casually, and only his pale face betrayed his confidence.

Serena was suddenly feeling very strange, mostly because the girl in the white dress was back in her mind, swooning. Leave! Serena ordered, but the girl wasn't moving.

You can't win, she explained a little smugly. As long as I'm here, you won't be able to do it.

"Oh you think so?" Serena said, not realizing that she was speaking aloud until the boy-that-she-didn't-like gave her a confused look.

Yes, the girl said confidently. Look… Serena clutched her head and moaned as a kaleidoscope of images filled her mind. Color and light, happiness and love. The pain intensified with every second and Serena dropped the knife on the bedspread.

"Please stop!" she begged, but the pictures came. Images of warm summer days… the way he looked in the morning sun… dancing at a ball in another time and place… watching over her always, shielding her from the evils of the world…

There he was fighting Bauxite for her… and sharing a shake… telling her about his past with sadness in his eyes…

His frown… his laughter…

And especially his smile.

Serena clutched her head in agony, pulling out her hair to stop the pain. Nothing she did could stop the pictures from coming - she was drowning in them and didn't have the strength to gasp for breath. The girl in the white dress was taking control.

You can't win! Serena shrieked and was responded to with a calm, I already have. Look at him. Serena looked against her will, as if the girl in the white dress had physically gripped her head and was forcing her to turn.

The boy-that-she-didn't-like (or did she?) was staring at her, looking positively baffled. Serena looked at him, at the way his eyes shone wide in the darkness, and the way his hair fell over his forehead, ruffled with sleep. He suddenly looked beautiful to her, more beautiful than he ever had been. More beautiful, unbelievably, than Boss. There was a strange new feeling in her chest… and she didn't hate it.

Now, with everything you've seen, tell me truly that you want to hurt him, the girl continued.

Serena wasn't sure anymore. She was forgetting her purpose and becoming the girl in the white dress. No… she protested one last time before the light reached her.

With her last act of will, Serena leaned forward and kissed the boy-that-she-didn't-like…

…and Usagi pulled away with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Mamo-chan, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed and Mamoru, although puzzled, pulled her into his arms. Somehow he sensed that she was back and that everything was going to be alright. For the first time in weeks, he was at peace.

0 0 0

Usagi woke when a cry shattered the silence. Although the greater temptation was to close her eyes and return to sweet repose, she moaned and sat up, blinking in the morning sun. When her vision cleared, she saw a pale, trembling Nick standing in Mamoru's bedroom doorway, his mouth gaping open.

Usagi yawned and rubbed her eyes. At her side, Mamoru was stirring. After a moment of confusion, his eyes landed on Nick and he glared, understanding that the boy was responsible for his early awakening.

Nick cringed against the door frame. From his perspective, it seemed that both were now evil. He had gone to his room as soon as he arrived to check on Usagi, but found her missing. When he went to tell Mamoru the bitter news, he found her curled up beside him, her head resting on his partially exposed chest. Mamoru himself had a protective arm around her, and when they both woke and sent him evil looks, he decided his suspicions were true. Somehow, she'd gotten to him, and now two people he loved were under a spell.

Nick was truly frightened. "Oh God, oh God…" he whispered in a frenzy and opened his mouth to yell to the others, but was stopped by Usagi.

"What is it, Nick?" she asked with a sigh. "You're acting stranger than usual."

"Wh… what?" Nick stammered and finally took a good look at them. Usagi was yawning to herself and Mamoru, seeing nothing of urgency, had already rolled over and reshut his eyes. Neither looked particularly threatening.

Nick was confused. "But you… you're…"

"Oh." Usagi looked down at herself. "I see." She was still wearing the black dress that had been her token look for weeks. Her hair was uncombed, falling long and straight down her back, and the thick, black eye-makeup that Serena preferred was in streaks under her eyes from the previous night's crying.

"She didn't have taste, if you ask me," Usagi said mildly, fingering the tight, mid-thigh hem of the dress. Mamoru nodded his agreement and sneezed.

Nick's eyes widened. "Usagi, are you…?"

She smiled at him. Her own sweet smile, not the half-maniacal grin of Serena. "Yes," she told him and he let out a loud whoop before rushing over to swing her into his arms.

"Careful, I've got an awful headache," she warned but hugged him back fiercely. "I've missed you, you goof," she whispered and he responded with a laugh.

"Of course you did. I'm contagious… You have an awful lot of explaining to do, miss."

The noise attracted the others from the living room and they pushed one another through the door with gasps and cries of, "Usagi-chan!" Half-bewildered, Usagi was squeezed into hugs from every angle and after her initial moment of shock, she laughed along with her friends and returned the favors.

"I've missed you all so much," she cried through fresh tears. Mamoru opened one eye and peered at the crowd.

"Does anyone have respect for the sleepy? I feel like I've been murdered."

"You almost were," Usagi reminded him sharply. "Get up and enjoy the party. You always ruin everything! Why are you so…" She caught herself and bit her lip at the harshness in her tone. Where had that come from? Doubt filled her chest and she swallowed heavily.

"Where's Averill?" she asked suddenly, feeling a wave of apprehension wash over her.

"Here." He stepped forward, and Usagi wasn't surprised when her heart pounded and her cheeks flushed. He had been the only one not to join the hugging, and she knew that was why she hadn't realized sooner.

"The poison isn't gone," she whispered and his eyes widened.

"You mean you still…?" He trailed off. Somehow it seemed wrong to say 'want me' when his little brother was watching them sleepily. But she caught his meaning and nodded. She didn't meet his eyes.

Averill frowned. "How do you feel other than that?"

She put a hand to her forehead. "Weird. Dizzy." She hadn't noticed how weary she was until he mentioned it, and she collapsed back onto the bed, instinctively scooting away from Mamoru and hating herself for it.

Averill sighed. "It's still there. The only difference is that Lord Ahriman has lost control of your mind. I suspect that when Serena left she pulled your strength with her… or maybe you burned up your energy getting rid of her. I don't know. But... the poison hasn't broken up."

"Wonderful. So I still can't transform?" Usagi looked at the floor, her momentary happiness fading. Averill moved forward, perhaps to comfort her, but she darted away, not wanting that feeling of lust to overpower her, especially with Mamoru in the room. He stepped away disappointed, but nodded as if he understood.

Looking at him then, Usagi wasn't sure how she felt about him without the suggestions of the poison. He had betrayed her and made her believe she was in love with him. He had helped kidnap her and brought her to Boss, who messed with her mind and made her try to kill her friends… and her dearest love. He had even helped Boss steal Hideo's body, an innocent.

But he had helped them in the end. The question was, if the situation turned to battle, would he help them again? Looking at him now, she wasn't sure. The others had accepted him, and now looked to him for a solution, but she was the one he had betrayed the most. It was going to be difficult to trust him. If she had learned one thing from her mishap of the past month, it was that she couldn't trust everyone, even those packaged as friends. It was a depressing revelation, and one she'd never wanted to have.

She distracted herself by speaking. "I don't remember anything from the past weeks until Averill brought me here. It was like I was asleep. And when I woke, I did everything I could to stop her from killing Mamo-chan."

"You don't remember what Boss said to you?" Averill asked, his green eyes intense.

She looked away. "No. I already told you. I didn't wake up until I came here, and even then everything was fuzzy. It was like… well, I was there, but I wasn't. Does that make any sense?" She eyed the audience doubtfully, and nobody answered.

She sighed. "It was like I was dead in the physical sense. I had my mind but no control over my body. She controlled that."

"But you stopped her from stabbing me," Mamoru protested.

"Well, yes. I put all my energy into that arm. It was tiring, but I distracted her long enough for you to wake up." She looked at him and forced her lips to twitch into a decent smile. That was all the poison allowed her to do. Last night had been okay. The poison had been weakened from the transformation, but while she slept, it had regained strength and she was feeling more anti-Mamoru than ever.

And increasingly pro-Averill.

"Now what?" she asked, suddenly depressed. Ami looked thoughtful for a minute before speaking.

"Maybe we could give you our energy," she suggested and blushed when everyone looked at her. "You said you came back to yourself when Averill brought you here. It could be from being around us. And you came back when Mamoru-san was in danger…" She trailed off and glanced at Averill, the poison expert.

He nodded pensively. "It could work. Even if it doesn't break up the poison, she will regain her strength."

"Let's do it, then," Rei said eagerly and the inner senshi nodded their agreement. Touched by this display, Usagi blinked away tears.

"You guys.." she started and was cut off instantly.

"Be quiet and go with it," Minako ordered, her blue-grey eyes sparkling.

"Yeah." Makoto winked. "You're too weak to stop us."

"Please, Usagi." This was from Kai and she blinked, mildly surprised to see him there. He hadn't said a word before, but she knew from the way Makoto leaned against him that he wasn't with the Enemy.

"Okay," she agreed, "but don't drain yourselves. Only use enough to break up the poison."

"We don't know how much that is," Rei muttered, and before Usagi could protest, she yelled, "Everyone! Transform!" The inner senshi obeyed and for a moment room was filled with flashes of light and color.

"Are you ready?" Mars demanded when they finished and Usagi yelped.

"Now?"

"Yes dummy," Mars said crossly, her voice edged with fondness. "Why do you think we transformed?"

"Oh, um… okay." Usagi straightened and took a deep breath. "Go ahead." Mars stepped forward and placed her palms on Usagi's forehead, closing her eyes in concentration. Her power was a warm fire that shot through Usagi's veins, but not a scorching, harmful one. A healing fire. When she stepped away, Usagi's body was glowing red, and her eyes fluttered shut before Mars staggered away, weak from the energy transfer.

Next was Mercury, and her cool blueness washed away the heat of the fire like a sweeping river. Usagi's mouth parted as gentle water flowed around her. She felt like she had arrived at an oasis after a week-long trek through a desert. Mercury was weak afterwards, as was every following donor.

Kai offered to try, and after transforming into Kyanite, he stepped forward and gave her what he had. His energy didn't conjure any images into her mind, but did fill her with a soothing, violet glow.

Jupiter went next and Usagi felt electricity crackle along her skin. A cool wind caressed her cheeks and she smelled roses, as if she was floating through a garden. She sighed and relaxed as the gentle electricity dulled into a pleasant green buzz.

Last was Venus, and her power of Love filled Usagi with golden light until every bit of her was glowing. It reminded her of the sun and she wistfully recalled the images of happy afternoons with Mamoru that she had sent Serena. The memory brought an additional feeling of peace.

As Venus left, Usagi's body swayed with exhaustion. Just as she was falling, someone steadied her and gently carried her to the bed. A warm blanket relaxed her shivering as she slipped away into a rainbow of energy. And she slept.

"Is she alright, now?" Mamoru asked with concern. Usagi was glowing with a white light, the combination of all the colors, and it slowly faded before her head flopped over to the side and she was still.

"She'll be fine," Averill, the one who had caught her, said. He was looking down at her sadly. "All she needs is rest. When she wakes, she'll be as good as new." The room was silent, except for the exhausted panting of the senshi and Kyanite.

"I think we should call the outer senshi," said Nick, wanting to help, since he'd had nothing to offer Usagi.

Mars nodded. "I agree," she said, gasping for breath. "Let's go." And they left the sleeping Usagi to her dreams.

0 0 0

"Is everything ready?"

Boss looked into the inquiring eyes of Azurite and smiled.

"Yes. The timing is perfect. Release them." Azurite bowed before leaving and Boss smiled. Soon, his revenge on Averill and the senshi would be complete.

0 0 0

"Now what?" Haruka asked. An hour had passed and the group was assembled once again in Mamoru's living room. Usagi was still floating in the healing Dreamland, and the senshi were discussing what to do about Boss.

"Now what?" she repeated more fiercely and looked pointedly at Averill. It was clear that she didn't trust him. Kai, she had accepted because Makoto had so much faith in him, and Nick she thought of as a harmless nuisance, but her opinion of Averill was still unformed.

He looked at her with just as much suspicion. She was one whose bad side he had never wanted to be on. "You've been with him," she continued, watching him. "What is he planning? How do we beat him?"

Averill shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "He never told us. All I know is that he's planning to attack. Soon. I think he's going to give everything he has in one shot, placing all his bets on one card. That could be good for us… or very bad. It depends on how much power he has. If he's gathered enough energy to open the gates to the other world, he's going to have a lot of help, and in that case there's very little we can do."

"Great," Haruka muttered and leaned back, while Setsuna said, "There must be something. A weakness?" Averill hesitated but then shrugged again. At this, sighs drifted from around the room.

"As far as I know, he has no weakness. Well, nothing we can use against him now, that is. He…" Averill paused and his gaze landed on a small mirror hanging on the wall. "Unless…" he started but stopped again. The senshi watched him expectantly, but he continued gazing thoughtfully at his reflection.

"Will you stop admiring yourself and let us know sometime before the next century?" Rei snapped. "Unless what?" Averill shot a wry look her way and cleared his throat.

"Unless we trap him the way he was when I first released him," he explained and met Mamoru's gaze. But Mamoru wasn't comprehending, and neither were the others.

He groaned. "In the mirror," he tried again and was surrounded by blank faces. "I broke the mirror to originally set him free. If we could trap his soul in a mirror again…" He trailed off as understanding blossomed.

"Of course," Kai said. "But we can't use any mirror."

"Why?" Minako asked and everyone in the room, including Nick, who at times was flighty himself, gave her a look.

"It needs to be magically charged," Averill explained gently. "Ordinary mirrors reflect outwards. They don't pull in."

"Where do we find a mirror like that?" Minako asked in a dispirited tone. Haruka and Michiru smiled at each other.

"Will this do?" Michiru asked and pulled her mirror talisman out of her purse. The room was silent for a moment until Averill laughed out loud.

"You know," he said with a smile, "I think we may have a chance. We just need a plan, how and when to go after him, and…"

"Hold it," Rei interrupted and held up a finger, head cocked to the side. She was pale. "Something's happening. I have a terrible feeling. Turn on the T.V." With a wary glance, Mamoru stood and obeyed. For a minute, all that was on was a rerun of some cartoon, but then the local news broke through.

"We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news," the green-haired reporter said, looking flushed. "Word just in that an attack has begun in the Juban area. If you happen to live there, please do not leave your homes. There are some rather…" She broke off and glanced at her male co-anchor, "…unusual things happening. Please stay calm and avoid the area. I'm sure this mess will clear up when the senshi arrive."

"If she senshi arrive," the man muttered and she elbowed him.

"We'll be bringing you live coverage, so stay tuned," she said and the screen flashed to a shot from a helicopter, which showed the scene in the street below. A laughing Boss stood with Alexandrite, Azurite and Calcite. A black vortex hung in the sky, and from it misshapen demons were leaking.

Averill swore. "He's done it. He's actually done it."

"Let me guess," Rei said bitterly. "He opened a portal to Hell. What was that about forming a clever plan before we fight him?"

"Here's the plan," Makoto said, standing up. "Transform. Leave. Kick demon butt. Any questions?"

"I hope you're prepared," Averill said. "This will be more difficult than you can imagine."

"We understand," Mamoru assured him and stood. "Okay, everyone except Nick and Averill, get ready. We're leaving." Nick tried to protest but a harsh look from Haruka shut him up. Averill, however, couldn't be phased by any amount of glares.

"Please tell me this isn't a new protection thing, brother," Averill said, his eyes narrowing in anger.

"It isn't," Mamoru insisted, "but Lord Ahriman may still be able to control you. He's gotten into your mind before. Why not again?" Averill stepped towards him, his green eyes glittering.

"That was before," he said through clenched teeth. "I'm the only one who controls me now." The two boys glared at each other until Makoto stepped between them with an exasperated sigh.

"Oh for Heaven's sake!" she cried. "Averill, please stay and let us take care of this. We're the ones with experience. And someone needs to stay with Usagi-chan. She's going to wake up confused and if someone isn't here she might try to find us and get hurt."

Averill still glared at Mamoru but the tension was released from his stance. "Fine," he said, breaking the deadly stare. "I'll stay… but only for her."

"Just remember to keep your hands to yourself," Mamoru warned, still in a foul mood, and yelped as an annoyed brunette dragged him off by the ear.

"Let's go," Ami suggested, and the group quickly exited with Averill and Nick glumly staring after them.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Nick asked seriously. He was worried.

Averill bowed his head, so he wouldn't betray his true feelings. "I hope so," he whispered.

0 0 0

The instant they arrived, the senshi were attacked by Boss' army of demons. The senshi, Kyanite and Tuxedo Kamen fought with all their strength, but a disturbing fact soon became clear. No matter what, the demons were difficult to destroy, and more streamed from the vortex every few seconds.

On top of that, the inner senshi were only at half strength after pouring their energy into Usagi, and they spent more time playing defense than attacking. The outer senshi tried the offensive, but without much success, for even at their strongest, they were severely outnumbered.

They all knew they were in big trouble.