Disclaimer: Insert standard disclaimer about ownership, publishing rights, et cetera here. In the interests of telling a good story, rules will be broken, canon material will be run through a shredder, and the bounds of sanity spindled, folded, mutilated, and tied in a knot. Signed C&C or reviews accepted. Flames will be fed to Avalon's stinky older brother (he'll eat anything).
Cestus Sol
A Ranma/Exalted Crossover
By the MadPanda
Chapter Five: The Tiger, The Lady, And The Qiling
Ah, yes, Ranma thought to himself, Furinkan High...the biggest loony bin in town. And here was the head lunatic, first thing in the morning, right on schedule.
"Halt, foul sorceror! I, Kuno Tatewaki, age nineteen, shall punish you for your crimes against all womanhood and free my pig-tailed goddess and the lovely Tendo Akane from your evil and most perverse control! Have at you!"
The problem with any of the Kuno family, Ranma reflected, was that no matter how often you beat them down, they kept bouncing right back...sort of like Ryoga, in fact. And you couldn't just talk to them and expect to resolve matters, either. They heard what they wanted to hear and disregarded all else...much like the fathers, come to think of it. The good thing was that they were all so easily predictable, each in their way. Thus he was free to dodge the True Blunder's strikes almost effortlessly while still having his mind free to consider more important matters.
"How dare you ignore me, consorter with demons!"
"Actually, you're using attack pattern five, which is the same one you've used consistently for the last eight months. Even with a katana instead of a boken, you are no longer any real challenge." In the privacy of his own mind, Ranma smacked himself. There was a reason not to talk to anybody named Kuno! "Besides, you graduated with Nabiki's class months ago. So you're trespassing on school property."
Kuno struck one of his many heroic poses. As expected, thunder crashed in the distance. Ranma yawned and waited for the swordsman to get on with his speech.
"I cannot stay away from my two loves and allow you to have your wicked way with them unimpeded, foul one!"
"Uh-hunh. You are also blocking traffic, committing assault with a deadly weapon, and stalking. Know what that makes you, Kuno-chan?" Ranma dropped into Riding Horse stance. "A common criminal. Know what the duty of a true martial artist is? Protecting people from the likes of you. Want to just leave now, or must I do my duty?"
Kuno leapt to the attack once more...and Ranma did his duty. One hit, one unconscious moron. It was nothing to write home about. It wasn't really even worth the effort. Alas, where Kodachi had finally gotten something resembling a clue and switched her obsessive affections to Mousse after yet another close encounter with Amazon hidden weaponry, chains, and a dose of her own love potions, Tatewaki refused to leave well enough alone.
It had now been a week since his early-morning meeting with Urvasi and Glatisant. Even in so short a time, Ranma knew he was no longer the same person he once was. For one thing, he could easily see the way others were responding to him.
Akane was still avoiding him whenever possible. She seemed to be afraid of him, in fact, and had not even so much as reached for her shoujo-mallet if he was anywhere nearby. There had as yet been no discussion regarding the Tendo engagement (on, off, or switched to one of the other sisters). The current rumor at school was that he had broken it off for good after finding Akane in bed with Ryoga, or maybe Mousse. The truth was simpler: the fathers were afraid of what he might do if they pushed him on it, so the matter was not raised in his presence.
Shampoo and Ukyo kept giving him plenty of space. Apparently Cologne had seen the light show from the other morning when he cowed the fathers and told Shampoo to leave him be. Either she or Mousse had told Konatsu, and the cross-dressing little ninja waitress had passed word on to his employer that pestering Ranma was a Bad Idea.
The break this gave him was more than welcome: he could actually think about how to respond to things instead of just blurting out whatever came to mind. Without the various girls in his life clinging to him and arguing, he even got to enjoy the idea of conversations that didn't devolve into shouting matches.
Besides the unusual and attention-getting tattoo on his forehead, it wasn't really until he stayed awake in class and paid attention to his teachers that others really noticed the changes in him. Miss Hinako had really freaked out and tried to accuse him of being some kind of juvenile delinquent doppelganger ...until he very patiently pointed out that now he was doing what she had asked of him all last year. After that, everyone gave him as much personal space and privacy as he wanted. More than a few people voiced the obvious question: who are you, and what did you do to Ranma?
He laughed at the thought—they were more afraid of him when he was polite than when he was angry? How interesting. But both he and the other residents of Nerima remained slightly on edge, waiting for the other slipper to drop.
A week, almost to the hour after his meeting with Glatisant, the other slipper did just that.
He was quietly eating his lunch, leaning up against a tree on the school grounds, when a battered and bruised Shampoo landed nearby. She stumbled and fell upon touching down, her leg collapsing under her weight.
"Airen! You is in danger!"
"Shampoo?" He set down his bento and went to help her up. She had been in a major fight: her clothing was torn, one hair ornament was missing, and she winced when he steadied her. Clutching at his sleeve, she set her mouth firmly.
"Airen no worry about Shampoo! Came to warn you...you is followed here by monster woman. Shampoo see and try to stop but...look out!"
Even as she spoke, he rolled to one side, dragging her under him. Ignoring the Chinese girl's sudden cry of pain at his sudden weight, he let go of her and rose to his feet, the better to face his opponent.
She was a tall, athletic gaijin with long silver-white hair streaked with black, silvery blue eyes, and a ready grin. In spite of her hair, she didn't look much over twenty-five or six. Her clothing was curiously similar to Ryoga's: a sleeveless tunic and loose leggings, both of the same leathery material. She had an impossibly large battle-axe strapped across her back, bracers of some silvery metal, and winding thorn-motif tattoos all the way up her arms and onto her face. Absently, Ranma noted that the tattoos almost looked like stripes.
The woman beckoned to him, grinning broadly.
"Come, little man! I will test you!"
"Oh? Is this a challenge?"
She laughed. "It matters?"
Then she launched an axe kick right through the space his head had occupied only a moment before! She was far faster than her size would indicate, he noted, and she had some skill in the art...Ranma ducked an elbow strike, slipped past a one-two combination punch, and rolled out of the way of another axe kick before gaining enough space to regain his bearings.
She wasn't angry, so the Hiryu Shouten Ha was out. Chestnut Fist? Maybe. But if his opponent proved to be as strong as she was fast, that might just make her angry...ah, but then he could use her hot ki to fuel the Amazon finishing move! On the other hand, she wasn't insulting him or spewing accusations like the last twenty challengers he'd faced. This wasn't how these impromptu matches were supposed to go.
"Do I know you? You don't look like someone my old man cheated..."
She said nothing, but her grin broadened and she beckoned him again.
"I don't fight girls."
Snorting in amusement, she launched another rapid series of attacks. Ranma evaded each of them, his margin of error shrinking gradually. Dancing across the schoolyard as his classmates scrambled to get out of the way, Ranma found that the gaijin woman stuck to him almost as if she was reading his moves. She never penetrated his defenses, but didn't otherwise miss a beat. Wryly, he wondered if this was how Akane must have felt during that little sparring session, his first night in Nerima!
He decided to test the waters. If he was wrong, it would hurt. If not...
He left an opening.
She didn't take it.
Ranma's eyes flickered to her left hand. There, glittering in the sunlight, was a golden band very much like his. Another snap decision—as she closed again, he relaxed into Horse Stance and let his hands fall to his side. A gamble. An exchange. Possible pain and injury for information...
Her fist slammed to a halt a hair's breadth from his face. The air pressure blew his bangs back. It was, he noticed, her left hand clenched before him...with the golden twin to the silver ring he wore.
As if in a dream, he reached up and gently took her large fist with his hands, guided it just a little lower, and kissed her hand on the knuckle just below the golden wedding band.
"Siobhan, I hope?"
The woman let out a long, heavy sigh that rolled on for some time and then swept him into a massive hug. Awkwardly, Ranma returned it as best he could...at least until she abruptly released him and stood back, regarding him while keeping her huge hands on his shoulders.
"I have missed you." Her gaze dropped again, taking in all of him. She frowned a little. "Have they not been feeding you? You used to be so much taller."
This was, as Ranma half-expected, the cue for Akane to show up and jump to the obvious, wrong conclusion. She did not disappoint, guided to the scene by the eager audience...or perhaps just a good sense of bad timing. Her tirade started the moment she entered the schoolyard and spotted him.
"Ranma, you jerk! You womanizing pervert! You dishonorable two- timing bastard! Is this another of your so-called fiancées? How much did the panda sell you for this time?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Ranma noticed Siobhan's eyes narrow. She started growling like an angry ca...ca...feline. As Akane came closer, the woman made as if to pull him behind her. The gesture, while demeaning, warmed his heart.
"It's okay," he muttered. "I'll handle her. She's sort of my problem anyway."
The woman looked down to him and met his eyes with hers. Slowly she nodded, stepped back and crossed her arms. He smiled at her and faced his soon-to-be-former fiancée, she of the foul temper and worse cooking.
"What do you want, Akane?" Will you let me be civil, he wondered, or must I be cruel to you in order to end this?
"Don't talk to me like that, you pervert! What do you think you're doing, feeling some foreign floozy up at school like that? Have you no shame? Oh, wait, that's right! You don't!"
"Tendo-san?" Ranma sighed internally. She would force him to be unkind. But should he have expected anything else? Taking a deep breath, he reluctantly called up the Soul of Ice technique.
"And what's with the formality, you freak?"
"I challenge you. Tonight, in that shambles you dare call a dojo, I will give you what you have so pitifully demanded of me since the day we met. When I win, you will apologize to my wife for the insults you have just heaped upon her." This wasn't what he wanted, nor how he wanted it done...but what he wanted never seemed to matter very much.
Akane backpedaled for a moment before her innate sense of righteous indignation allowed her to rally. Ignoring the startled gasps of the other students, she made a familiar mistake and spat defiance back at him.
"Oh, as if! You don't have the guts!"
"If you lack the courage and honor to answer my challenge, Tendo, just say so." His voice was cold, sharp, like a razor-fine blade of ice drawn down the soul...perfectly masking his inner pain. Perhaps he asked too much of her? But it would be better this way.
"Fine! And when you lose, you can just take your harem and get out of my life!"
"Seven o'clock suit you?"
"Fine!"
"Oh, and Tendo? Make sure you have the dojo sign handy. We might as well make the results official. Wouldn't want your father to keep any silly dreams of reuniting the schools if I'm not around anymore." Ranma hoped vainly that the implied threat would get through Akane's thick skull, knowing that it would not. Tendo Soun had drummed that one tenet of Anything Goes into his daughter's head as firmly as Genma had beaten it into his: always accept a challenge, no matter what.
"No way!"
"Backing out of a challenge? That's not the way a real martial artist behaves, Tendo. Oh, wait. I forgot. Your father quit being a real martial artist years ago, just like mine. I suppose you can't be held responsible for his failure to teach you properly..." His heart wasn't in the insults anymore, but they had to be spoken. The ritual had to be completed. This would be finished once and for all...for his sake as well as Akane's.
"What? How dare you insult my Dad after all we've done for you! Take that back!"
"Accept my conditions. If I do lose, I will publicly retract my statements about your father before I leave." Akane....
"Fine! I accept! Seven o'clock tonight." Akane stormed off. The rage and fury in her face could not quite hide the tears pouring down her face. Ranma watched her leave, and sadness rose within him as he allowed the Soul of Ice to fade away. For what could never be, and what should never have been, he allowed a single tear to course down his cheek.
"Who was that," Siobhan rumbled. "A pet, perhaps? I do not like the way she spoke to you. Does she think you are her property?"
"That was my uncute ex-fiancée," Ranma sighed. "Did you see Glatisant earlier? Did she perchance tell you anything about my life?"
"I did. She did not explain very much." Siobhan laughed. "She never does. It is not her way." She pulled Ranma around by the shoulders to face her again. "There, that's better. Now, where were we?"
"Saying hello again, I think." Ranma looked around at the stunned students of Furinkan High. "And I think also we should go somewhere more private to continue this. Unless you really want to be the center of attention?"
Siobhan made an amused noise somewhere between a grunt and a purr, then scooped him up in her arms and jumped up into the tree, then to the school roof. Ranma managed not to cry out in alarm on the way up, but hopped out of her embrace the first chance he got.
"Warn me when you do that!"
She laughed at him, and he blushed. Okay, he had to admit, it was kind of nice to be carried like that, but he was the guy and the guy was supposed to...he looked up at her and grinned. Guy or no, she was too big for him to carry!
"What do you remember?"
"Not much. I dreamed about you, once...and, uhm, Urvasi told me your name, I think. Or maybe...no, she did. She keeps calling you Nightfang."
"Ah, yes. I am that. Perhaps I should go, and come again when you remember more."
"But, uhm, you've been waiting for a while to see me again, haven't you?"
"Husband, I have waited to see you again for longer than you can imagine. And here I am, and you are still growing. Still a mere cub! If I must, I can wait a little longer." She ruffled his hair gently. "I do not want to go, but if you do not remember..."
He seized her hand, pressed his cheek against it. Blushing furiously at the very thought of what words now sprang to mind, he tried to keep his sudden panic from showing too much.
"Do not leave me, Daughter of the Burning Moon. Not now. I...made a mistake, before, when I sent you from my side. I cannot afford to be so stupid again."
"There you are, Ranma! Hello, Silver Blade! Mother sends her regards, and bids you greet your other spouse. And here she is!"
Urvasi's cheerful call interrupted what might otherwise have been a tender moment. It was followed almost immediately by a sudden splash of icy cold water...and the all-too familiar change...when a water balloon burst against Ranma's back.
"What is the expression? Ah, yes. Heads up!" Urvasi giggled as Ranma spluttered and shook off the excess water.
"Qiling," Siobhan nodded. "You have a reason for interrupting my reunion with...oh! Were you not male, prince of my heart?"
Ranma sighed. Maybe his life hadn't changed so much after all. Why was it always cold water? And why did it have to find him in so many improbably silly ways? He made a note to find out what made Urvasi squeal like a schoolgirl later and pay her back for this little joke.
"Uhm, yeah, it's me. Long story. It's a curse. And yes, I change back to a man with hot water. And thank you for letting me explain it to her myself, Urvasi!"
"I am pleased to have been of service," the little girl bowed politely, still laughing.
"So, uhm, I'll understand if you...uhm...Siobhan? Hello? Earth to Siobhan..."
The Nightfang, as she was called, hadn't released her embrace. She was gazing down at the buxom, petite redhead with something very much like fascination.
"Should I mind?"
With careful movements, the larger woman picked Ranma-chan up in her arms and tenderly kissed her husband, accompanied by Urvasi's enthusiastic applause. When at long last Ranma ceased struggling and returned the kiss, the little god-blooded girl merely blushed and slipped away across the roof, leaving the reunited lovers their privacy.
End Chapter Five
To Be Continued.
Tune in next time when the Fiancée Brigade takes its first serious casualties, Ranma moves out, and Siobhan makes a fashion statement!
Author's Notes.
And it's Good Question time. Bookstick asked why Siobhan is referred to as the Nightfang, so here goes. Urvasi and Glatisant both use a number of epithets when speaking to or about Ranma. These are the traditional nicknames for a Dawn Caste Solar. They give Siobhan the same general courtesy, using the epithets for a Full Moon Caste Lunar Exalt. (In one of the side stories that sort of wrote itself, Urvasi also extends this habit to include the other member of the Ranma cast who gets the Big Solar Upgrade, but we'll get there when we get there, and you'll know them when you see them.)
[Just in case anyone's taking notes, the 'official' lists are as follows.
Dawn Caste Epithets: Ascending Suns, Children of the Dawn, Lightbringers, Bronze Tigers, Swords of Heaven
Full Moon Caste Epithets: Children of the Burning Moon, Silver Blades, Luna's Warriors, Nightfangs]
Yes, Akane is being a bit less than optimally intelligent in her path selection through the decision tree. Stress and anger sometimes make people do stupid things. She was a lot nastier in the first draft, let me tell you...
No, I haven't forgotten about poor Shampoo, left wounded in the dust. We'll be coming back to her later. The Amazons get their own side story, but it's not terribly funny and it's definitely not PG-13. Lunars are nasty people when they get angry. And Cologne has a stubborn streak where the honor of her tribe is concerned.
This was a challenging chapter to write, trying to walk that fine line between too mushy and not emotionally powerful enough. I'm still not sure I got there. The water balloon, though, was all Urvasi's idea. Exalted or not, Ranma still can't get a good love scene without at least one token interruption.
And finally, a big MadPanda thank you to all my reviewers! I'm glad you folks are enjoying this little escapade. I'm certainly having fun writing it!
Cestus Sol
A Ranma/Exalted Crossover
By the MadPanda
Chapter Five: The Tiger, The Lady, And The Qiling
Ah, yes, Ranma thought to himself, Furinkan High...the biggest loony bin in town. And here was the head lunatic, first thing in the morning, right on schedule.
"Halt, foul sorceror! I, Kuno Tatewaki, age nineteen, shall punish you for your crimes against all womanhood and free my pig-tailed goddess and the lovely Tendo Akane from your evil and most perverse control! Have at you!"
The problem with any of the Kuno family, Ranma reflected, was that no matter how often you beat them down, they kept bouncing right back...sort of like Ryoga, in fact. And you couldn't just talk to them and expect to resolve matters, either. They heard what they wanted to hear and disregarded all else...much like the fathers, come to think of it. The good thing was that they were all so easily predictable, each in their way. Thus he was free to dodge the True Blunder's strikes almost effortlessly while still having his mind free to consider more important matters.
"How dare you ignore me, consorter with demons!"
"Actually, you're using attack pattern five, which is the same one you've used consistently for the last eight months. Even with a katana instead of a boken, you are no longer any real challenge." In the privacy of his own mind, Ranma smacked himself. There was a reason not to talk to anybody named Kuno! "Besides, you graduated with Nabiki's class months ago. So you're trespassing on school property."
Kuno struck one of his many heroic poses. As expected, thunder crashed in the distance. Ranma yawned and waited for the swordsman to get on with his speech.
"I cannot stay away from my two loves and allow you to have your wicked way with them unimpeded, foul one!"
"Uh-hunh. You are also blocking traffic, committing assault with a deadly weapon, and stalking. Know what that makes you, Kuno-chan?" Ranma dropped into Riding Horse stance. "A common criminal. Know what the duty of a true martial artist is? Protecting people from the likes of you. Want to just leave now, or must I do my duty?"
Kuno leapt to the attack once more...and Ranma did his duty. One hit, one unconscious moron. It was nothing to write home about. It wasn't really even worth the effort. Alas, where Kodachi had finally gotten something resembling a clue and switched her obsessive affections to Mousse after yet another close encounter with Amazon hidden weaponry, chains, and a dose of her own love potions, Tatewaki refused to leave well enough alone.
It had now been a week since his early-morning meeting with Urvasi and Glatisant. Even in so short a time, Ranma knew he was no longer the same person he once was. For one thing, he could easily see the way others were responding to him.
Akane was still avoiding him whenever possible. She seemed to be afraid of him, in fact, and had not even so much as reached for her shoujo-mallet if he was anywhere nearby. There had as yet been no discussion regarding the Tendo engagement (on, off, or switched to one of the other sisters). The current rumor at school was that he had broken it off for good after finding Akane in bed with Ryoga, or maybe Mousse. The truth was simpler: the fathers were afraid of what he might do if they pushed him on it, so the matter was not raised in his presence.
Shampoo and Ukyo kept giving him plenty of space. Apparently Cologne had seen the light show from the other morning when he cowed the fathers and told Shampoo to leave him be. Either she or Mousse had told Konatsu, and the cross-dressing little ninja waitress had passed word on to his employer that pestering Ranma was a Bad Idea.
The break this gave him was more than welcome: he could actually think about how to respond to things instead of just blurting out whatever came to mind. Without the various girls in his life clinging to him and arguing, he even got to enjoy the idea of conversations that didn't devolve into shouting matches.
Besides the unusual and attention-getting tattoo on his forehead, it wasn't really until he stayed awake in class and paid attention to his teachers that others really noticed the changes in him. Miss Hinako had really freaked out and tried to accuse him of being some kind of juvenile delinquent doppelganger ...until he very patiently pointed out that now he was doing what she had asked of him all last year. After that, everyone gave him as much personal space and privacy as he wanted. More than a few people voiced the obvious question: who are you, and what did you do to Ranma?
He laughed at the thought—they were more afraid of him when he was polite than when he was angry? How interesting. But both he and the other residents of Nerima remained slightly on edge, waiting for the other slipper to drop.
A week, almost to the hour after his meeting with Glatisant, the other slipper did just that.
He was quietly eating his lunch, leaning up against a tree on the school grounds, when a battered and bruised Shampoo landed nearby. She stumbled and fell upon touching down, her leg collapsing under her weight.
"Airen! You is in danger!"
"Shampoo?" He set down his bento and went to help her up. She had been in a major fight: her clothing was torn, one hair ornament was missing, and she winced when he steadied her. Clutching at his sleeve, she set her mouth firmly.
"Airen no worry about Shampoo! Came to warn you...you is followed here by monster woman. Shampoo see and try to stop but...look out!"
Even as she spoke, he rolled to one side, dragging her under him. Ignoring the Chinese girl's sudden cry of pain at his sudden weight, he let go of her and rose to his feet, the better to face his opponent.
She was a tall, athletic gaijin with long silver-white hair streaked with black, silvery blue eyes, and a ready grin. In spite of her hair, she didn't look much over twenty-five or six. Her clothing was curiously similar to Ryoga's: a sleeveless tunic and loose leggings, both of the same leathery material. She had an impossibly large battle-axe strapped across her back, bracers of some silvery metal, and winding thorn-motif tattoos all the way up her arms and onto her face. Absently, Ranma noted that the tattoos almost looked like stripes.
The woman beckoned to him, grinning broadly.
"Come, little man! I will test you!"
"Oh? Is this a challenge?"
She laughed. "It matters?"
Then she launched an axe kick right through the space his head had occupied only a moment before! She was far faster than her size would indicate, he noted, and she had some skill in the art...Ranma ducked an elbow strike, slipped past a one-two combination punch, and rolled out of the way of another axe kick before gaining enough space to regain his bearings.
She wasn't angry, so the Hiryu Shouten Ha was out. Chestnut Fist? Maybe. But if his opponent proved to be as strong as she was fast, that might just make her angry...ah, but then he could use her hot ki to fuel the Amazon finishing move! On the other hand, she wasn't insulting him or spewing accusations like the last twenty challengers he'd faced. This wasn't how these impromptu matches were supposed to go.
"Do I know you? You don't look like someone my old man cheated..."
She said nothing, but her grin broadened and she beckoned him again.
"I don't fight girls."
Snorting in amusement, she launched another rapid series of attacks. Ranma evaded each of them, his margin of error shrinking gradually. Dancing across the schoolyard as his classmates scrambled to get out of the way, Ranma found that the gaijin woman stuck to him almost as if she was reading his moves. She never penetrated his defenses, but didn't otherwise miss a beat. Wryly, he wondered if this was how Akane must have felt during that little sparring session, his first night in Nerima!
He decided to test the waters. If he was wrong, it would hurt. If not...
He left an opening.
She didn't take it.
Ranma's eyes flickered to her left hand. There, glittering in the sunlight, was a golden band very much like his. Another snap decision—as she closed again, he relaxed into Horse Stance and let his hands fall to his side. A gamble. An exchange. Possible pain and injury for information...
Her fist slammed to a halt a hair's breadth from his face. The air pressure blew his bangs back. It was, he noticed, her left hand clenched before him...with the golden twin to the silver ring he wore.
As if in a dream, he reached up and gently took her large fist with his hands, guided it just a little lower, and kissed her hand on the knuckle just below the golden wedding band.
"Siobhan, I hope?"
The woman let out a long, heavy sigh that rolled on for some time and then swept him into a massive hug. Awkwardly, Ranma returned it as best he could...at least until she abruptly released him and stood back, regarding him while keeping her huge hands on his shoulders.
"I have missed you." Her gaze dropped again, taking in all of him. She frowned a little. "Have they not been feeding you? You used to be so much taller."
This was, as Ranma half-expected, the cue for Akane to show up and jump to the obvious, wrong conclusion. She did not disappoint, guided to the scene by the eager audience...or perhaps just a good sense of bad timing. Her tirade started the moment she entered the schoolyard and spotted him.
"Ranma, you jerk! You womanizing pervert! You dishonorable two- timing bastard! Is this another of your so-called fiancées? How much did the panda sell you for this time?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Ranma noticed Siobhan's eyes narrow. She started growling like an angry ca...ca...feline. As Akane came closer, the woman made as if to pull him behind her. The gesture, while demeaning, warmed his heart.
"It's okay," he muttered. "I'll handle her. She's sort of my problem anyway."
The woman looked down to him and met his eyes with hers. Slowly she nodded, stepped back and crossed her arms. He smiled at her and faced his soon-to-be-former fiancée, she of the foul temper and worse cooking.
"What do you want, Akane?" Will you let me be civil, he wondered, or must I be cruel to you in order to end this?
"Don't talk to me like that, you pervert! What do you think you're doing, feeling some foreign floozy up at school like that? Have you no shame? Oh, wait, that's right! You don't!"
"Tendo-san?" Ranma sighed internally. She would force him to be unkind. But should he have expected anything else? Taking a deep breath, he reluctantly called up the Soul of Ice technique.
"And what's with the formality, you freak?"
"I challenge you. Tonight, in that shambles you dare call a dojo, I will give you what you have so pitifully demanded of me since the day we met. When I win, you will apologize to my wife for the insults you have just heaped upon her." This wasn't what he wanted, nor how he wanted it done...but what he wanted never seemed to matter very much.
Akane backpedaled for a moment before her innate sense of righteous indignation allowed her to rally. Ignoring the startled gasps of the other students, she made a familiar mistake and spat defiance back at him.
"Oh, as if! You don't have the guts!"
"If you lack the courage and honor to answer my challenge, Tendo, just say so." His voice was cold, sharp, like a razor-fine blade of ice drawn down the soul...perfectly masking his inner pain. Perhaps he asked too much of her? But it would be better this way.
"Fine! And when you lose, you can just take your harem and get out of my life!"
"Seven o'clock suit you?"
"Fine!"
"Oh, and Tendo? Make sure you have the dojo sign handy. We might as well make the results official. Wouldn't want your father to keep any silly dreams of reuniting the schools if I'm not around anymore." Ranma hoped vainly that the implied threat would get through Akane's thick skull, knowing that it would not. Tendo Soun had drummed that one tenet of Anything Goes into his daughter's head as firmly as Genma had beaten it into his: always accept a challenge, no matter what.
"No way!"
"Backing out of a challenge? That's not the way a real martial artist behaves, Tendo. Oh, wait. I forgot. Your father quit being a real martial artist years ago, just like mine. I suppose you can't be held responsible for his failure to teach you properly..." His heart wasn't in the insults anymore, but they had to be spoken. The ritual had to be completed. This would be finished once and for all...for his sake as well as Akane's.
"What? How dare you insult my Dad after all we've done for you! Take that back!"
"Accept my conditions. If I do lose, I will publicly retract my statements about your father before I leave." Akane....
"Fine! I accept! Seven o'clock tonight." Akane stormed off. The rage and fury in her face could not quite hide the tears pouring down her face. Ranma watched her leave, and sadness rose within him as he allowed the Soul of Ice to fade away. For what could never be, and what should never have been, he allowed a single tear to course down his cheek.
"Who was that," Siobhan rumbled. "A pet, perhaps? I do not like the way she spoke to you. Does she think you are her property?"
"That was my uncute ex-fiancée," Ranma sighed. "Did you see Glatisant earlier? Did she perchance tell you anything about my life?"
"I did. She did not explain very much." Siobhan laughed. "She never does. It is not her way." She pulled Ranma around by the shoulders to face her again. "There, that's better. Now, where were we?"
"Saying hello again, I think." Ranma looked around at the stunned students of Furinkan High. "And I think also we should go somewhere more private to continue this. Unless you really want to be the center of attention?"
Siobhan made an amused noise somewhere between a grunt and a purr, then scooped him up in her arms and jumped up into the tree, then to the school roof. Ranma managed not to cry out in alarm on the way up, but hopped out of her embrace the first chance he got.
"Warn me when you do that!"
She laughed at him, and he blushed. Okay, he had to admit, it was kind of nice to be carried like that, but he was the guy and the guy was supposed to...he looked up at her and grinned. Guy or no, she was too big for him to carry!
"What do you remember?"
"Not much. I dreamed about you, once...and, uhm, Urvasi told me your name, I think. Or maybe...no, she did. She keeps calling you Nightfang."
"Ah, yes. I am that. Perhaps I should go, and come again when you remember more."
"But, uhm, you've been waiting for a while to see me again, haven't you?"
"Husband, I have waited to see you again for longer than you can imagine. And here I am, and you are still growing. Still a mere cub! If I must, I can wait a little longer." She ruffled his hair gently. "I do not want to go, but if you do not remember..."
He seized her hand, pressed his cheek against it. Blushing furiously at the very thought of what words now sprang to mind, he tried to keep his sudden panic from showing too much.
"Do not leave me, Daughter of the Burning Moon. Not now. I...made a mistake, before, when I sent you from my side. I cannot afford to be so stupid again."
"There you are, Ranma! Hello, Silver Blade! Mother sends her regards, and bids you greet your other spouse. And here she is!"
Urvasi's cheerful call interrupted what might otherwise have been a tender moment. It was followed almost immediately by a sudden splash of icy cold water...and the all-too familiar change...when a water balloon burst against Ranma's back.
"What is the expression? Ah, yes. Heads up!" Urvasi giggled as Ranma spluttered and shook off the excess water.
"Qiling," Siobhan nodded. "You have a reason for interrupting my reunion with...oh! Were you not male, prince of my heart?"
Ranma sighed. Maybe his life hadn't changed so much after all. Why was it always cold water? And why did it have to find him in so many improbably silly ways? He made a note to find out what made Urvasi squeal like a schoolgirl later and pay her back for this little joke.
"Uhm, yeah, it's me. Long story. It's a curse. And yes, I change back to a man with hot water. And thank you for letting me explain it to her myself, Urvasi!"
"I am pleased to have been of service," the little girl bowed politely, still laughing.
"So, uhm, I'll understand if you...uhm...Siobhan? Hello? Earth to Siobhan..."
The Nightfang, as she was called, hadn't released her embrace. She was gazing down at the buxom, petite redhead with something very much like fascination.
"Should I mind?"
With careful movements, the larger woman picked Ranma-chan up in her arms and tenderly kissed her husband, accompanied by Urvasi's enthusiastic applause. When at long last Ranma ceased struggling and returned the kiss, the little god-blooded girl merely blushed and slipped away across the roof, leaving the reunited lovers their privacy.
End Chapter Five
To Be Continued.
Tune in next time when the Fiancée Brigade takes its first serious casualties, Ranma moves out, and Siobhan makes a fashion statement!
Author's Notes.
And it's Good Question time. Bookstick asked why Siobhan is referred to as the Nightfang, so here goes. Urvasi and Glatisant both use a number of epithets when speaking to or about Ranma. These are the traditional nicknames for a Dawn Caste Solar. They give Siobhan the same general courtesy, using the epithets for a Full Moon Caste Lunar Exalt. (In one of the side stories that sort of wrote itself, Urvasi also extends this habit to include the other member of the Ranma cast who gets the Big Solar Upgrade, but we'll get there when we get there, and you'll know them when you see them.)
[Just in case anyone's taking notes, the 'official' lists are as follows.
Dawn Caste Epithets: Ascending Suns, Children of the Dawn, Lightbringers, Bronze Tigers, Swords of Heaven
Full Moon Caste Epithets: Children of the Burning Moon, Silver Blades, Luna's Warriors, Nightfangs]
Yes, Akane is being a bit less than optimally intelligent in her path selection through the decision tree. Stress and anger sometimes make people do stupid things. She was a lot nastier in the first draft, let me tell you...
No, I haven't forgotten about poor Shampoo, left wounded in the dust. We'll be coming back to her later. The Amazons get their own side story, but it's not terribly funny and it's definitely not PG-13. Lunars are nasty people when they get angry. And Cologne has a stubborn streak where the honor of her tribe is concerned.
This was a challenging chapter to write, trying to walk that fine line between too mushy and not emotionally powerful enough. I'm still not sure I got there. The water balloon, though, was all Urvasi's idea. Exalted or not, Ranma still can't get a good love scene without at least one token interruption.
And finally, a big MadPanda thank you to all my reviewers! I'm glad you folks are enjoying this little escapade. I'm certainly having fun writing it!