Disclaimer: I don't own anything KoH related; movie rights belong to 20th Century Fox and the great Sir Ridley Scott. Balian oh Balian, where for art thou Balian? Darn, still not mine.

Smithy: Guy's a mean one, Mr. Knight….his brain is full of spiders, he's got garlic in soul, Mr. Knight…I wouldn't touch him with a 39 and a half foot pole!

DocM: Coming from you, I don't take that lightly. I'm touched.  Yes I agree, she should've taken the make off before he died, not afterwards.

Rachel Sparrow: But Tiberias thinks he's been captured by the Saracens, and doesn't know where to look. It doesn't look good for Balian and Sibylla…

Nevasaiel: Thank you, thank you verra much. takes a bow. I'm afraid, my dear caffeinated friend, that my wickedness shall grow in this chapter…am I right?

RedCloudPhoenix: She is rather brave, isn't she? Of course, all her life she has been instructed 'it's all about the people, etc'. But that must be tough, especially when she just found out she was pregnant. Thanks for the double review!

Ch. 12: Endurance

(Balian PoV)

The templar stood and brought his sword up, ready to execute my soulmate. Oh God, what have I done! Just before the executioner made his deadly swing, I frantically intervened.

"Stop!" I bellowed. "Let her live!" The executioner slowly brought his sword down, clearly disappointed that he didn't get to decapitate my wife.

"So, does this mean that you are willing to surrender Jerusalem to me?" said Guy, smirking as he watched me fall apart.

"Yes" I whispered, ashamedly. I have condemned Jerusalem to its downfall. "But you must swear to me that she will not be harmed in any way." Sibylla looked up at me, with a mixture of relief and despair on her face.

"Excellent. See, I told you he'd break in the end." Guy jovially nodded to Reynald, who looked pleased. One of the supervising templars cut my bonds and my arms fell limply to my sides. I barely noticed the dull ache around my wrists.

"Now get down to business, and write the message, weakling." Reynald motioned to a nearby desk, which was adorned with parchments and a quill and ink bottle. I didn't move a muscle.

"You didn't promise," I pointed out, my jaw clenched. Guy waved his hand indifferently.

"Whatever. She'll not be harmed. Now go keep your end of the bargain. And you better make it sound convincing, or your dear Sibylla will suffer."

"It shall be flawlessly convincing," I angrily assured them. Glaring at them, I shuffled my way over to the desk, formed the words in my head, and began to write the blasphemous letter.

24 July in the year of our lord 1184

To Whom it may concern,

I regret to inform you that I have fallen into a trap. The templars and I were ambushed when we arrived at the designated 'meeting' place. I have been captured by Saracens and taken to the enemy camp, under serious charges. By now you will have heard about the supposed Christian attack on the Muslim caravan which contained Saladin's sister. They claim that I lead the attack and are planning to war against us. Therefore I am forced to find someone else to lead the army. Someone competent, with years of war experience, who knows Jerusalem well.

That someone is Guy de Lusignan. I know I've held grievances against him before, but that is in the past. We've put aside our differences when he was allowed special permission to meet with me by Saladin. I am confident that under his strong leadership that the city can withstand the Saracen attacks. If Sibylla and I are killed, then he is to become the next King of Jerusalem. Please, I beseech you to work together with our new leader. I pray that all goes well, and that the peace may be restored once again.

Yours in Christ,

Balian d'Ibelin

After signing with a flourish, I unceremoniously flung the letter at Guy. While he and Reynald perused it, I took the moment to run to my wife. I enveloped her with my arms, holding her quivering form.

"Why?" she asked, searching my watery eyes. "Why did you surrender?"

"Because I couldn't live with myself, knowing I was the cause of your and our child's death." I rubbed her back in smooth circles. "Relax my love, we'll think of something. I know Tiberias won't believe my letter."

"Oh Balian," she sobbed. "I was so afraid."

"Shh, I'm sorry I even considered…" I broke off as I choked up. I squeezed her tightly and kissed her brow, as if I were afraid she would disappear if I let go. "Please forgive me, my love."

"There is nothing to forgive." Sibylla found solace in my embrace, although she still shook against me. My lips found hers, but before we could deepen the kiss I was yanked away.

"That was some fine writing," Guy commented as I once again struggled in the arms of two of his goons. "But I believe it needs one last touch." He held out his hand. "Give me your ring." Seething, I handed over the only gift I had from my father, who had given it to me when I'd just been knighted. The noble gave the two items to a guard, telling him to ride for Jerusalem and deliver them to the palace right away. Then he turned his attention back to me.

"Remove your armor, you will not be needing it anytime soon." I did so, glad to be free of the constrictive chain mail. This left me in only my old breeches and shirt.

"You are pathetic, boy. You came to rescue her, and what did you do? You surrendered her kingdom to me, that's what!" he chortled. "If I remember correctly, that's hardly an ethical trade according to the knight's code – your wife and child for the lives of hundreds of thousands. Oh, but what would your dear father say? He'd be mortified by your actions, no doubt." Without warning he kicked me in the stomach. Hard. I'd had the wind knocked out of me, and I struggled to breathe. Seeing my reaction, Sibylla cried out,

"Guy, you promised! Leave him alone!" He shook his head, clearly amused.

"Oh no, my dear. I promised I wouldn't harm you. I never said a word about harming him." While I was still recovering, he punched me in the face, which resulted in a black eye.

"Release me," I yelled. "Or are you afraid to face me without an advantage?" Guy looked merely bored.

"Well, I would, but I'd rather not risk you getting any hits just before I go into battle. But don't worry, as soon as I return for you, I intend to do just that." He whispered an order to one of the templars who grinned and left the room. "Now, Balian, take off your shirt, lie down, and close your eyes, because I have a wonderful surprise for you." I didn't move, but then the templars advanced forward. Begrudgingly I complied, inwardly dreading what was to come. In a sickeningly sweet tone, Guy said, "you've had a long journey; let's see if we can't get some of that dirt to come off."

Without warning, scalding, hot water descended on my bare, unprotected skin. I screamed, writhing in agony. I rolled over to try and alleviate the pain to no avail. Vaguely, I heard Sibylla's whimpers. I tried to open my eyes but saw only white stars. After a few moments, the steam had vanished, leaving me there, unprotected on the floor.

"Why do you torture me so?" I groaned, after the burn had mostly subsided. "You have what you need."

"Because, bastard of Ibelin, you simply exist," he maliciously answered. "And the fact that you stole my wife and crown doesn't hurt your case either." He signaled to the templars, and several came forward, their swords drawn. I eyed them warily.

"You are useless, boy! I can see the weakness in your eyes." Suddenly the templars began to thinly slice my arms, resulting in blood trickling down onto my chest.

"Ahhhhh!" I howled, abandoning all attempts to cover my suffering. Once they grew tired of having me bleed at their mercy, they switched to kicking and punching me, just about everywhere on my body.

"What must your wife think of you now?" He grinned spitefully down at me. "Not so brave are we?" No, I'm not. I hate having Sibylla see me at my worst.

"Balian, don't listen to him! Hold on, I love you!" Sibylla cried." I rolled onto my stomach, so I wouldn't have to face my tormenters.

"Oh yes, this was all about love, wasn't it?" He gave me one particularly damaging kick to my shoulder. I didn't know I could endure such pain. "Well, I hope you two enjoy each other this week. Because once I return, I will kill you, Balian, make no mistake about that. Then my revenge will be complete." He dragged me to my feet and gave me one last punch, which connected to my jaw. Smiling eerily, he dropped me to the floor, and strode out of the room, followed by his knights. Sharp pains coursed through me as I lay there, motionless on the floor.

"Balian?" Sibylla called timidly. My wife sat down next to me and clasped my hand, massaging it carefully. I grunted, shifting my weight so I could look at her. She planted a chaste kiss on my lips. "Are you hurt badly?"

"I'll live," I told her, wincing. "Help me sit up?" She gingerly lifted my back and supported my weight as I found a comfortable seating position. My head swam so I rested a bit before trying to stand.

Sibylla slowly helped my battered and bruised body stagger down the spiral staircase and into our cell. Not wanting me to lie directly on the straw, she ripped off one of her many layers of her dress and covered the straw for me. "Let me see your wounds." I revealed my burnt torso, bloodied forearms, and one particularly nasty bruise on my lower back. She unsuccessfully tried to stifle a gasp.

"Am I that repulsive?" I joked lightly, and she smiled through her tears. Tearing off a piece of black fabric from her dress sleeve, she wetted it and patted my flesh wounds. Try as I might, I couldn't help but to flinch as the cloth passed over the cuts. I winced as she rubbed a particularly nasty gash on my left shoulder. I hope that her painstaking washing would allow my wounds to heal quickly.

"Balian, without some proper treatment, I'm afraid that your wounds may become infected," she worried aloud. I sighed, and lay down on her makeshift blanket.

"We cannot help that now." Closing my eyes, I saw a Jerusalem overrun by the Saracens; homes burning, panic in the streets. And then I visualized another scenario, which involved Guy ruling the city, where poverty reigned and where fighting between those of different religions was common. Disturbed, I quickly reopened my eyes. "Oh, my love, it is all my fault," I wept into my hands.

"What is?" She asked, lying down on her side, facing me.

"That Jerusalem will fall into the hands of monsters. That I'll condemn those poor soldiers into war. That I'll cause suffering and hardships." She leaned over me and cupped my face in her hands.

"No, that's not true. It was Guy's fault, not yours. You did what any husband would've done. You shouldn't you blame yourself." She brushed the matted hair from my forehead. "I know how hard it was for you to make that decision; thank you for saving my life."

"When it came down to it, I found that love takes precedence over duty. I couldn't bear to lose my second chance at having a real family."

"I love you," she said softly. Sibylla carefully pulled me into her arms, and I leaned into her gratefully. "I didn't wish for you to see me like that today, helpless and unable to defend myself," I mumbled.

"You had no possible way of defending yourself," she pointed out. "I do not think less of you because you screamed while in pain, or think you any less brave." She kissed my neck, and I shivered. That's a relief, I can feel something besides pain again. "In fact, it was almost reassuring to see you with your guard down; now I know you aren't someone exempt from fear and pain." I must've looked confused because she continued, "You'd always seemed perfect to me before, and I was worried that you saw me as one with too many faults."

"Never," I confirmed. "I couldn't find a better woman anywhere." I turned over and ran my hand across her tummy. "Our child is in there," I whispered in awe and wonderment.

"Yes," Sibylla beamed. "And now that you are here, I feel better about being pregnant." She looked at me intently. "We must find a means of escape, for his or her sake."

"I agree. But for now, let us just enjoy this moment of being together." We slowly kissed as she held me to her. I poured all the passion and love that I felt for her into the kiss, and stroked her hair as we left the jail cell and entered a world that consisted of only us. As much as I loved kissing my beloved, I just couldn't hold out much longer; I was exhausted from my ordeal. Pulling Sibylla close, I soon entered dreamland, where my worries seemed to be swept away.

End. Ch.12

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