Insert the standard boilerplate about who owns what here, followed by the usual warning of OOC behavior, non-canon material, and any new and amusing fates I have concocted for flames.
Cestus Sol
An Exalted/Ranma Crossover By the MadPanda
Chapter Six: On Breaking Ground
Ranma paused at the Tendo's front gate. He touched the aged and weathered wood and smiled to himself. For better or worse, this had been the closest thing to a home he'd had for some years. Tonight he would leave, and he felt both great sorrow and relief at the thought of doing so.
On the other side of the wall, he could hear Tendo-san and Akane arguing about the upcoming duel of honor. As he expected, the older man was beside himself with anxiety, torn between anger that his family's reputation was thus impugned, fear that his precious baby daughter would be hurt, and confusion at the end of his insane dream to unite the schools. Akane blamed Ranma, of course: he was a 'rotten perverted jerk', after all, without whom she claimed her life would be so much better. As a new addition to the usual rant, she also berated her father for having tolerated him for so long, for having engaged them, for not having trained her better for such an eventuality...Ranma listened for a few minutes to gauge his chances of surviving his passage through the house, then squared his shoulders and pushed the gate open. No time like the present to face the immovable obstacles of one's life, he thought.
The first of those immovable barriers to life and limb was waiting for him. Genma lurked in the shadow of the wall, lying in ambush for his return. The first blow struck cleanly, but Ranma was already rolling with the blow, seizing Genma's arm, and throwing the heavyset man over his shoulder to land painfully on the walkway.
"Poorly done, old one. You are losing what little skill you had at this."
"Where have you been, boy?"
"Out."
"You must apologize to Akane! Show some respect for your true fiancée! Put aside this gaijin woman and do as your father says!"
Ranma stepped over the fallen man and entered the house. When the door closed behind him, he grinned silently. True fiancée? That was a good one. Maybe Genma had missed his true calling in life: the old panda would be a better clown than a father, any day. He quietly slipped off his shoes and would have made it back upstairs to the guest room without fuss if Genma had not burst in through the door behind him.
"This isn't over, boy! You must..."
"I must do what? Your promises no longer bind me."
"This is a matter of family honor! Your feelings have no weight in the matter!"
"Get a new line. You've worn that one out over the years." Ranma laughed. "I am going upstairs to prepare for my duel this evening. Do not interrupt me. This is a matter of personal honor. Your promises carry no weight in that matter at all." Still laughing, he continued his way up to the guest room.
"Boy!" Genma hurried after him, blocking the door. "You can't do this to me! Not after everything I've done for you!"
"Oh, you've done more that enough for me. That mindless seppuku contract. The engagements to Kaori and Ukyo and kami knows who else. The Neko-ken training. Jyusenkyo. Need I continue?" Ranma didn't even look up from his packing.
"It was for the Art!"
"Of course it was." Ranma hefted his pack in one hand and turned to regard his mortal father. "You sacrificed everything for the sake of your Art. Just think of my departure as just another thing you've lost to it. Now...are you going to let me pass, or must I come through you?"
"I cannot let you leave, you wretched boy! Ungrateful child! You are not my son!"
Ranma smiled and spoke. His voice remained cheerful and upbeat, so it took a moment for the words to have their full impact.
"There, old man, we agree completely. I have no father, nor mother. I renounce the name Saotome. Now I am ronin, thus honorless in your eyes, and none of your promises will ever affect me again. Thank you very much! I feel so much better, now."
Genma took a step back, his face contorted in fear and shock.
"But...the contract! Nodoka..."
"It is time you shouldered some responsibility for the honor you did not care to maintain. And now, since I have no right to be in this house, I wish to leave. Will you not move?"
Genma leapt at him, flailing wildly. Ranma sidestepped, slipped out the door, and dashed downstairs, laughing all the way. He probably would have made it had Genma's yell of fury and frustration not alerted the Tendos arguing below that Ranma was in the house. Even so, had it been Soun or Akane who intercepted his departure, he might have simply brushed them aside and gone. Instead, it was Kasumi who faced him.
"Ranma-kun?"
The older girl stood unsteady on her feet, gripping a broom as if it were a security blanket or a weapon of desperation. She was obviously distressed.
"Kasumi-san." He bowed as politely as he could. "Thank you for your hospitality. I am deeply sorry for the trouble that has followed me to your doorstep. Farewell."
"This isn't right, Ranma-kun! You can't just...leave! Akane is..."
"I will return. Akane has a duel of honor tonight, at seven. I shall be there."
"You would let her fight?"
"It is what she wants. I would not dream of stopping her from getting what she wants. Not this time. Protecting her from the outset was a mistake I do not intend to continue."
"Ranma-kun! How dare you challenge my little Akane to a duel! How dare you insult the schools!"
"Ranma no baka!"
"This isn't over yet, boy!"
The dreaded Tendo Demon-head attack came around the corner, along with its owner. Akane and her mallet came close on Soun's heels, and Genma was barreling down the stairs. Squeaking in alarm, Kasumi beat a hasty retreat back to the kitchen. At the last moment, Ranma's attackers pulled up short so as not to collide with each other.
"Have you come to say goodbye as well," Ranma smiled cheerfully. "I was just leaving for now, although I will return in time for the duel."
"There won't be a duel," Soun said.
"Oh? Is Akane going to back down from a legitimate and witnessed challenge?"
"No way am I backing out of this! Ranma, you jerk..."
"But Akane-chan..."
"But nothing! This playboy went and got himself married! He and his gaijin floozy were flaunting their perversions all over school!"
"Ranma-kun! Explain this!" And the Demon Head was back again.
"And no running away from your responsibilities, boy!" Genma finally got a word in edgewise. "You've got to marry Akane and unite the schools! It's a matter of..."
"Honor. I heard you the first fifty thousand times." Ranma stretched. "Akane, you do not want to marry me."
"Who would ever want to marry a perverted jerk like you?"
"And neither of your sisters would volunteer to take your place, naturally."
"Don't you dare think about doing something perverted with Kasumi-ne-chan!"
"Thank you very much for your direct and brutal honesty. I will see you at seven in the dojo. Be prepared. Tendo-san, your daughters have broken the arrangement between the families. Take it up with them."
Ranma opened the door, took one step, and turned back.
"Oh, almost forgot. Owing to the additional complications brought to the agreement on the part of the Saotome clan, I am sure that most impartial observers will not blame the Tendo family for withdrawing from the arrangement. I'll just see myself out."
Ranma left them there, struggling to work out what he had just said, and went on his way. This time, the interruption was a quiet one. Nabiki was waiting for him by the gate.
"So, finally giving up, Saotome?"
"Giving up what, exactly, Tendo?"
Nabiki looked almost shocked, just for a moment.
"Okay, who are you and what did you do with Ranma?"
"Seems a lot of folks are askin' that one these days. You want the answer, it'll cost ya." Ranma laughed and held out his hand. "Five thousand yen."
Nabiki paid. Ranma looked at the bills in his hand and tucked them into his pocket.
"You're sure, now?"
"Answer me, damn you! You're tearing my family apart, threatening my sister, driving my father insane, and you owe me an explanation!"
Ranma studied her for a moment. She looked ready to start crying any moment. After a moment, he nodded.
"Come with me, then. You'll get your yen's worth."
A brief walk later, sitting at a park bench, Ranma tilted his head up to the sky and answered Nabiki's question.
"You're going to have trouble with my answer, but it's the only one I have to give you. I am Ranma...just not quite in the way you think. You might say that the Ranma you knew and took advantage of died a week ago." He patted her shoulder in a brotherly fashion. "I'm more myself than I was, Nabiki. A lot more. And that means a lot of changes are going to be happening. None of them will be fun for everybody...but I cared too much for too long about too many people who didn't return my care, trust, or affection."
"It's about time," she frowned. "You've been good for business, but bad for just about everything else. Not to offend, but...good riddance!"
He laughed. "None taken. Oh, I'll be back tonight, long enough to end the Tendo Ryu and humble Akane. You can yell at me then."
"Wait...what?"
"Didn't your informants tell you about that? Akane accepted, even after I made it a dojo challenge. She wants me to take her seriously, and I'm doing just that."
"Ending the Tendo Ryu...what do you want?"
"Do you realize, Tendo-san, that this is the first time anyone has asked me that question in the last two years? Not 'who' or 'which one' but 'what'. I think you deserve a reward...so this one's on the house. What I want, relative to your family, is to destroy the Tendo Ryu utterly. End this insane dream of re-uniting the schools. Let you and your sisters move on with your lives. Maybe even see your father pull himself out of the rut he's been in for years. Face it, Tendo-san. The Tendo Ryu has been dead for years. I'm just helping everyone else see that."
He took her hand and pushed something into it, then got to his feet and walked away.
"Funny thing is, only way I can do that is by leaving. Lucky for me I have someplace to go. See ya later, Nabiki."
She watched him go, his words tumbling over and over in her head. When she finally remembered the paper he'd pushed into her hand, she was quite surprised to find the five thousand yen she'd paid him for his answer.
At ten to seven, Ranma knocked on the side entrance of the Tendo compound.
"I am here to challenge the heir to the Tendo dojo!"
The door flung open and he faced both fathers in the fullness of their rage.
"Ranma-kun, how dare you show up like this! Honorless boy!"
"My son, I am so ashamed..."
"I am not here to accept your abuse and foolishness. I am here to challenge your heir as a matter of honor. Would you prefer she simply forfeited?" Ranma smiled quietly. "Oh, and I have some impartial witnesses arriving to ensure that there is no foul play on your part."
"How dare you suggest..."
"Knocking someone unconscious and forcing them into a tuxedo for a wedding they haven't agreed to sounds like foul play to me, Tendo-san. Stand aside or forfeit."
Coughing and spluttering, Tendo Soun stood to one side and allowed Ranma to enter. Genma scowled at his son.
"You shouldn't do this, boy..."
Ranma pulled his bangs back from the peculiar tattoo on his forehead. It glittered briefly, causing both men to jump back slightly.
"I am no man's boy. Remember that. If you still wish to talk when I am finished, I will consider hearing you out. But you will give me the respect I have earned, and which you have consistently denied me."
With that, he entered the dojo. Akane was already there, fidgeting quietly off to one side. Nabiki was also present, but Kasumi was not. Distantly, he could hear a knock at the front door—his witnesses were here. With a quiet smile, he bowed politely to the shrine, and then no less politely to his opponent.
"I will permit you to withdraw from this with no loss of honor," he said quietly. "All you need do is apologize to Lady Siobhan for your outburst."
Akane held her tongue, but her face reddened dangerously.
"Very well," Ranma sighed. "We have a few more moments before the hour strikes. Make what peace you may with whichever gods you feel most helpful."
A moment later Kasumi entered, still looking quite frazzled and worn from a day of unwelcome surprises and tension. Behind her, came little Urvasi and then Siobhan. His wife had braided her hair at the temples and bound the rest back into a pony-tail with a white leather cord. She bore her great axe in hand, and the shimmering silver plate armor of her kind shone from beneath the red and black silk surcoat. She gave him a ferociously supportive grin, and his breath caught in his throat...but he managed to remain impassive as he bowed politely.
"Thank you for coming. I regret to inconvenience you with my unworthy request for witnesses at so base an event."
Siobhan snorted, but Urvasi bowed in return.
"Not at all, Lightbringer. Mother regrets in turn that her present business prevents her from coming to honor you with her person. I will represent her and my sisters in accordance with the ancient protocols, as per her instructions."
"Your filial piety does you the highest of honors, Dancer of Joy. May your reward for your long and uncomplaining service be all that you have desired it to be, and more."
Urvasi blushed crimson and hid behind Siobhan, who chuckled.
"She's here?" the Lunar asked. "And it's time. End this with honor, Solar."
"As you wish."
The clock chimed seven. Ranma took his position at one end of the dojo while Urvasi and Siobhan sat opposite the Tendo family and Genma. Akane finally took her place opposite Ranma.
"We do this for real, jerk...and none of your dirty tricks!"
"As you wish. You do remember what will happen when you lose, I hope. I would not want to remind you again."
"You can't even take me for real, Ranma! So I don't have to worry about it."
He sighed and assumed a formal ready position.
There was no particular signal given. One moment, the two competitors merely faced each other. The next, Akane was leaping at Ranma, seeking to strike him with her fists...and clearly expecting him to dodge if she got too close. Instead, he blocked whenever necessary, and even took a few hits before rolling out of the way and reassuming a ready stance.
"Ha! I hit you, you pervert!"
"Did you, now? I'm afraid I didn't notice. Was that your best effort?" His grin grew feral. "I wouldn't want you feeling like you hadn't done your utmost to win."
"Sure, Ranma! Like you can do better!"
His only answer was a knowing, almost pitying smile. He blurred into action. A moment later, Akane impacted the far wall of the dojo and fell limply to the floor. In the dreadfully subdued silence that followed, Urvasi's comment came loud and clear.
"Challenger wins."
Ranma stiffly bowed to the little god-blood, then to the shrine, and finally to the shocked Tendos. Then he went and sat down next to Siobhan while Soun recovered enough to rush to Akane's side.
"Don't bother," Ranma told the man. "She will live. I only knocked the wind out of her."
"How could you do this to my baby girl," Soun wailed.
"Since the day she first rejected my friendship, she has insisted that I have not taken her seriously as a martial artist. She may no longer make that claim. When she awakens, I believe we have a few conditions to discuss. Unless, of course, the promises made by a Tendo are as empty as those made by a Saotome?"
Akane coughed and tried to sit up.
"Damn jerk...you cheated!"
"Enough!" Urvasi barked. "Lord Ranma abided by your condition. He defeated you fairly and by rights more than gently. You have lost, mortal. Accept it, pay your forfeit, and we will depart in peace. Violate your oath, and gain naught but the wrath of heaven!"
"She sounds almost like Kuno-chan," Nabiki muttered to Kasumi, who nodded in agreement.
"Sweeto!"
There is no situation in the Tendo home that cannot be made worse. The cause for escalation in this particular case was Happosai. He went, as per usual, for the largest, bustiest woman in the vicinity...who in this case was wearing articulated plate armor, sporting a very large and ornate battle- axe, and was an untested quality in the chaotic mathematics of Nerima.
One moment, Happosai had attached himself to Siobhan's chest, attempting in vain to nuzzle her through the armor. The next...he was glomping a large, furious, vaguely humanoid tiger-woman who effortlessly peeled him off her front, squeezed him in her massive fist, and forcibly sent the perverted little gnome on a brief domestic flight. Then the axe came up. She twirled it around like a cheerleader's baton before settling into an en garde position.
"What was that...thing," the tiger-woman demanded, in a voice surprisingly like Siobhan's with primal ferocity and a heavy dose of implied violence added to the harmonics. "Give me its name that I may harry it unto death! It is an abomination on the face of the world!" She flexed her muscles and roared loud enough to rattle the dojo walls.
Nabiki fainted. Genma wet himself and then fainted. Soun was too preoccupied with Akane's presumed injuries to notice. Akane goggled. Kasumi excused herself to make tea. And Ranma...
Ranma blinked in surprise. He was in the presence of a cat. A large, human-like cat. A large, human-like cat to whom he was married. And there wasn't so much as a tickle of the paralyzing fear he usually felt around domestic felines. Normally, this situation should be sending him directly into the grip of the neko-ken, but...all he felt was intense pride and a bit hungry for something he couldn't quite name.
Urvasi glanced between Ranma and Siobhan a few times. Suddenly she blushed and snapped her fingers.
"Ah, I knew I forgot to mention something!"
Ranma reached over and laid a hand on a massive paw. The tiger-woman looked down at him...no, he told himself strictly, this was Siobhan. This was his wife, who had waited for him to return across untold ages and countless human lifetimes. He would not fail her now.
"That was the Grand Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts, of which the Tendo Ryu partakes. His name is Happosai. You will find he is not well regarded. His conduct is a disgrace to all true martial artists. He is a thief, a pervert, and a childish cad. Unfortunately, he is also quite skilled."
"That...taught this?" Siobhan pointed to Tendo Soun.
"And the other one, yes," Ranma nodded, indicating Genma. "The Saotome Ryu was mine by right of inheritance. I had cause to reconsider my association with it earlier today. There are other schools than this."
Siobhan was silent for a minute, which gave others time to recover. Finally, about the time Soun noticed that there was a large and scary cat- woman with an axe in his dojo, she nodded solemnly.
"I trust your decision, Husband. This is not a worthy school. Let it die out." She snorted. "No, let it be forgotten, even by the Maiden of Secrets!"
"Wait," Soun cried out. "Perhaps...we could...talk this over?"
"What is there to discuss?" Siobhan seemed to shimmer and shrink back to her human guise. "That gnome is the founder of the school, yes? Smash them both!"
"Er, yes...ashamed as I am to admit it." Soun shifted nervously. "But there is no need to leap to conclusions! Please...won't you enjoy the hospitality of my house while we discuss this matter? Maybe a more agreeable solution can be found..."
Siobhan looked at Ranma and shrugged. Urvasi tugged at his sleeve. He bent down.
"Lord...pardon me again...Ranma, while you are just and fair in your desire to see an end to this misguided and foolish arrangement, Mother has confided in me that she is not satisfied if matters are merely broken off. I suggest you at least hear the mortal out and take time before you answer." She grinned up at him. "Besides, this will give you a greater opportunity to tie up any other loose ends before abandoning this den of fools."
"You're up to something, aren't you?"
"I am my mother's daughter, Ranma. Have you remembered her yet?"
"Not really, no."
"She was once known as the Confounder of Wisdom, among other titles. These days, her successor is known as Murphy. Take that as you like it, but she is not yet done with these mortals."
"Very well." Ranma straightened up and cleared his throat. "Tendo-san, in return for the great hospitality which you have shown me in the past, I will grant you this one request...on the condition that there will be no further discussion of marriages." He held up his left hand. "That matter is already settled."
"But..." Soun sighed. "Very well. I accept your condition. Shall we retire to the house?"
Ranma nodded reluctantly. "Let us finish this, Tendo-san. With honor."
End Chapter Six.
To Be Continued.
Tune in next time, when Ukyo learns the hard way about Lunar mating habits, Glatisant confesses her Master Plan (#37, evil laugh optional), and Ryoga wins...sort of.
Author's Notes.
What, Ranma OOC? He now has a 'get out of stupid parental promises' card in his pocket! He's also dimly aware that he's no longer the dumb jock he's been raised to be...and no longer willing to just grin and bear it when the fathers try to browbeat him. This doesn't stop them from trying, of course...
There's a side story that more or less follows this chapter, posted separately. It was actually written before I started Cestus Sol.
Did Exaltation cure the Neko-ken? That's a good question. The answer is almost as much a secret as Siobhan's three vital measurements.
Cestus Sol
An Exalted/Ranma Crossover By the MadPanda
Chapter Six: On Breaking Ground
Ranma paused at the Tendo's front gate. He touched the aged and weathered wood and smiled to himself. For better or worse, this had been the closest thing to a home he'd had for some years. Tonight he would leave, and he felt both great sorrow and relief at the thought of doing so.
On the other side of the wall, he could hear Tendo-san and Akane arguing about the upcoming duel of honor. As he expected, the older man was beside himself with anxiety, torn between anger that his family's reputation was thus impugned, fear that his precious baby daughter would be hurt, and confusion at the end of his insane dream to unite the schools. Akane blamed Ranma, of course: he was a 'rotten perverted jerk', after all, without whom she claimed her life would be so much better. As a new addition to the usual rant, she also berated her father for having tolerated him for so long, for having engaged them, for not having trained her better for such an eventuality...Ranma listened for a few minutes to gauge his chances of surviving his passage through the house, then squared his shoulders and pushed the gate open. No time like the present to face the immovable obstacles of one's life, he thought.
The first of those immovable barriers to life and limb was waiting for him. Genma lurked in the shadow of the wall, lying in ambush for his return. The first blow struck cleanly, but Ranma was already rolling with the blow, seizing Genma's arm, and throwing the heavyset man over his shoulder to land painfully on the walkway.
"Poorly done, old one. You are losing what little skill you had at this."
"Where have you been, boy?"
"Out."
"You must apologize to Akane! Show some respect for your true fiancée! Put aside this gaijin woman and do as your father says!"
Ranma stepped over the fallen man and entered the house. When the door closed behind him, he grinned silently. True fiancée? That was a good one. Maybe Genma had missed his true calling in life: the old panda would be a better clown than a father, any day. He quietly slipped off his shoes and would have made it back upstairs to the guest room without fuss if Genma had not burst in through the door behind him.
"This isn't over, boy! You must..."
"I must do what? Your promises no longer bind me."
"This is a matter of family honor! Your feelings have no weight in the matter!"
"Get a new line. You've worn that one out over the years." Ranma laughed. "I am going upstairs to prepare for my duel this evening. Do not interrupt me. This is a matter of personal honor. Your promises carry no weight in that matter at all." Still laughing, he continued his way up to the guest room.
"Boy!" Genma hurried after him, blocking the door. "You can't do this to me! Not after everything I've done for you!"
"Oh, you've done more that enough for me. That mindless seppuku contract. The engagements to Kaori and Ukyo and kami knows who else. The Neko-ken training. Jyusenkyo. Need I continue?" Ranma didn't even look up from his packing.
"It was for the Art!"
"Of course it was." Ranma hefted his pack in one hand and turned to regard his mortal father. "You sacrificed everything for the sake of your Art. Just think of my departure as just another thing you've lost to it. Now...are you going to let me pass, or must I come through you?"
"I cannot let you leave, you wretched boy! Ungrateful child! You are not my son!"
Ranma smiled and spoke. His voice remained cheerful and upbeat, so it took a moment for the words to have their full impact.
"There, old man, we agree completely. I have no father, nor mother. I renounce the name Saotome. Now I am ronin, thus honorless in your eyes, and none of your promises will ever affect me again. Thank you very much! I feel so much better, now."
Genma took a step back, his face contorted in fear and shock.
"But...the contract! Nodoka..."
"It is time you shouldered some responsibility for the honor you did not care to maintain. And now, since I have no right to be in this house, I wish to leave. Will you not move?"
Genma leapt at him, flailing wildly. Ranma sidestepped, slipped out the door, and dashed downstairs, laughing all the way. He probably would have made it had Genma's yell of fury and frustration not alerted the Tendos arguing below that Ranma was in the house. Even so, had it been Soun or Akane who intercepted his departure, he might have simply brushed them aside and gone. Instead, it was Kasumi who faced him.
"Ranma-kun?"
The older girl stood unsteady on her feet, gripping a broom as if it were a security blanket or a weapon of desperation. She was obviously distressed.
"Kasumi-san." He bowed as politely as he could. "Thank you for your hospitality. I am deeply sorry for the trouble that has followed me to your doorstep. Farewell."
"This isn't right, Ranma-kun! You can't just...leave! Akane is..."
"I will return. Akane has a duel of honor tonight, at seven. I shall be there."
"You would let her fight?"
"It is what she wants. I would not dream of stopping her from getting what she wants. Not this time. Protecting her from the outset was a mistake I do not intend to continue."
"Ranma-kun! How dare you challenge my little Akane to a duel! How dare you insult the schools!"
"Ranma no baka!"
"This isn't over yet, boy!"
The dreaded Tendo Demon-head attack came around the corner, along with its owner. Akane and her mallet came close on Soun's heels, and Genma was barreling down the stairs. Squeaking in alarm, Kasumi beat a hasty retreat back to the kitchen. At the last moment, Ranma's attackers pulled up short so as not to collide with each other.
"Have you come to say goodbye as well," Ranma smiled cheerfully. "I was just leaving for now, although I will return in time for the duel."
"There won't be a duel," Soun said.
"Oh? Is Akane going to back down from a legitimate and witnessed challenge?"
"No way am I backing out of this! Ranma, you jerk..."
"But Akane-chan..."
"But nothing! This playboy went and got himself married! He and his gaijin floozy were flaunting their perversions all over school!"
"Ranma-kun! Explain this!" And the Demon Head was back again.
"And no running away from your responsibilities, boy!" Genma finally got a word in edgewise. "You've got to marry Akane and unite the schools! It's a matter of..."
"Honor. I heard you the first fifty thousand times." Ranma stretched. "Akane, you do not want to marry me."
"Who would ever want to marry a perverted jerk like you?"
"And neither of your sisters would volunteer to take your place, naturally."
"Don't you dare think about doing something perverted with Kasumi-ne-chan!"
"Thank you very much for your direct and brutal honesty. I will see you at seven in the dojo. Be prepared. Tendo-san, your daughters have broken the arrangement between the families. Take it up with them."
Ranma opened the door, took one step, and turned back.
"Oh, almost forgot. Owing to the additional complications brought to the agreement on the part of the Saotome clan, I am sure that most impartial observers will not blame the Tendo family for withdrawing from the arrangement. I'll just see myself out."
Ranma left them there, struggling to work out what he had just said, and went on his way. This time, the interruption was a quiet one. Nabiki was waiting for him by the gate.
"So, finally giving up, Saotome?"
"Giving up what, exactly, Tendo?"
Nabiki looked almost shocked, just for a moment.
"Okay, who are you and what did you do with Ranma?"
"Seems a lot of folks are askin' that one these days. You want the answer, it'll cost ya." Ranma laughed and held out his hand. "Five thousand yen."
Nabiki paid. Ranma looked at the bills in his hand and tucked them into his pocket.
"You're sure, now?"
"Answer me, damn you! You're tearing my family apart, threatening my sister, driving my father insane, and you owe me an explanation!"
Ranma studied her for a moment. She looked ready to start crying any moment. After a moment, he nodded.
"Come with me, then. You'll get your yen's worth."
A brief walk later, sitting at a park bench, Ranma tilted his head up to the sky and answered Nabiki's question.
"You're going to have trouble with my answer, but it's the only one I have to give you. I am Ranma...just not quite in the way you think. You might say that the Ranma you knew and took advantage of died a week ago." He patted her shoulder in a brotherly fashion. "I'm more myself than I was, Nabiki. A lot more. And that means a lot of changes are going to be happening. None of them will be fun for everybody...but I cared too much for too long about too many people who didn't return my care, trust, or affection."
"It's about time," she frowned. "You've been good for business, but bad for just about everything else. Not to offend, but...good riddance!"
He laughed. "None taken. Oh, I'll be back tonight, long enough to end the Tendo Ryu and humble Akane. You can yell at me then."
"Wait...what?"
"Didn't your informants tell you about that? Akane accepted, even after I made it a dojo challenge. She wants me to take her seriously, and I'm doing just that."
"Ending the Tendo Ryu...what do you want?"
"Do you realize, Tendo-san, that this is the first time anyone has asked me that question in the last two years? Not 'who' or 'which one' but 'what'. I think you deserve a reward...so this one's on the house. What I want, relative to your family, is to destroy the Tendo Ryu utterly. End this insane dream of re-uniting the schools. Let you and your sisters move on with your lives. Maybe even see your father pull himself out of the rut he's been in for years. Face it, Tendo-san. The Tendo Ryu has been dead for years. I'm just helping everyone else see that."
He took her hand and pushed something into it, then got to his feet and walked away.
"Funny thing is, only way I can do that is by leaving. Lucky for me I have someplace to go. See ya later, Nabiki."
She watched him go, his words tumbling over and over in her head. When she finally remembered the paper he'd pushed into her hand, she was quite surprised to find the five thousand yen she'd paid him for his answer.
At ten to seven, Ranma knocked on the side entrance of the Tendo compound.
"I am here to challenge the heir to the Tendo dojo!"
The door flung open and he faced both fathers in the fullness of their rage.
"Ranma-kun, how dare you show up like this! Honorless boy!"
"My son, I am so ashamed..."
"I am not here to accept your abuse and foolishness. I am here to challenge your heir as a matter of honor. Would you prefer she simply forfeited?" Ranma smiled quietly. "Oh, and I have some impartial witnesses arriving to ensure that there is no foul play on your part."
"How dare you suggest..."
"Knocking someone unconscious and forcing them into a tuxedo for a wedding they haven't agreed to sounds like foul play to me, Tendo-san. Stand aside or forfeit."
Coughing and spluttering, Tendo Soun stood to one side and allowed Ranma to enter. Genma scowled at his son.
"You shouldn't do this, boy..."
Ranma pulled his bangs back from the peculiar tattoo on his forehead. It glittered briefly, causing both men to jump back slightly.
"I am no man's boy. Remember that. If you still wish to talk when I am finished, I will consider hearing you out. But you will give me the respect I have earned, and which you have consistently denied me."
With that, he entered the dojo. Akane was already there, fidgeting quietly off to one side. Nabiki was also present, but Kasumi was not. Distantly, he could hear a knock at the front door—his witnesses were here. With a quiet smile, he bowed politely to the shrine, and then no less politely to his opponent.
"I will permit you to withdraw from this with no loss of honor," he said quietly. "All you need do is apologize to Lady Siobhan for your outburst."
Akane held her tongue, but her face reddened dangerously.
"Very well," Ranma sighed. "We have a few more moments before the hour strikes. Make what peace you may with whichever gods you feel most helpful."
A moment later Kasumi entered, still looking quite frazzled and worn from a day of unwelcome surprises and tension. Behind her, came little Urvasi and then Siobhan. His wife had braided her hair at the temples and bound the rest back into a pony-tail with a white leather cord. She bore her great axe in hand, and the shimmering silver plate armor of her kind shone from beneath the red and black silk surcoat. She gave him a ferociously supportive grin, and his breath caught in his throat...but he managed to remain impassive as he bowed politely.
"Thank you for coming. I regret to inconvenience you with my unworthy request for witnesses at so base an event."
Siobhan snorted, but Urvasi bowed in return.
"Not at all, Lightbringer. Mother regrets in turn that her present business prevents her from coming to honor you with her person. I will represent her and my sisters in accordance with the ancient protocols, as per her instructions."
"Your filial piety does you the highest of honors, Dancer of Joy. May your reward for your long and uncomplaining service be all that you have desired it to be, and more."
Urvasi blushed crimson and hid behind Siobhan, who chuckled.
"She's here?" the Lunar asked. "And it's time. End this with honor, Solar."
"As you wish."
The clock chimed seven. Ranma took his position at one end of the dojo while Urvasi and Siobhan sat opposite the Tendo family and Genma. Akane finally took her place opposite Ranma.
"We do this for real, jerk...and none of your dirty tricks!"
"As you wish. You do remember what will happen when you lose, I hope. I would not want to remind you again."
"You can't even take me for real, Ranma! So I don't have to worry about it."
He sighed and assumed a formal ready position.
There was no particular signal given. One moment, the two competitors merely faced each other. The next, Akane was leaping at Ranma, seeking to strike him with her fists...and clearly expecting him to dodge if she got too close. Instead, he blocked whenever necessary, and even took a few hits before rolling out of the way and reassuming a ready stance.
"Ha! I hit you, you pervert!"
"Did you, now? I'm afraid I didn't notice. Was that your best effort?" His grin grew feral. "I wouldn't want you feeling like you hadn't done your utmost to win."
"Sure, Ranma! Like you can do better!"
His only answer was a knowing, almost pitying smile. He blurred into action. A moment later, Akane impacted the far wall of the dojo and fell limply to the floor. In the dreadfully subdued silence that followed, Urvasi's comment came loud and clear.
"Challenger wins."
Ranma stiffly bowed to the little god-blood, then to the shrine, and finally to the shocked Tendos. Then he went and sat down next to Siobhan while Soun recovered enough to rush to Akane's side.
"Don't bother," Ranma told the man. "She will live. I only knocked the wind out of her."
"How could you do this to my baby girl," Soun wailed.
"Since the day she first rejected my friendship, she has insisted that I have not taken her seriously as a martial artist. She may no longer make that claim. When she awakens, I believe we have a few conditions to discuss. Unless, of course, the promises made by a Tendo are as empty as those made by a Saotome?"
Akane coughed and tried to sit up.
"Damn jerk...you cheated!"
"Enough!" Urvasi barked. "Lord Ranma abided by your condition. He defeated you fairly and by rights more than gently. You have lost, mortal. Accept it, pay your forfeit, and we will depart in peace. Violate your oath, and gain naught but the wrath of heaven!"
"She sounds almost like Kuno-chan," Nabiki muttered to Kasumi, who nodded in agreement.
"Sweeto!"
There is no situation in the Tendo home that cannot be made worse. The cause for escalation in this particular case was Happosai. He went, as per usual, for the largest, bustiest woman in the vicinity...who in this case was wearing articulated plate armor, sporting a very large and ornate battle- axe, and was an untested quality in the chaotic mathematics of Nerima.
One moment, Happosai had attached himself to Siobhan's chest, attempting in vain to nuzzle her through the armor. The next...he was glomping a large, furious, vaguely humanoid tiger-woman who effortlessly peeled him off her front, squeezed him in her massive fist, and forcibly sent the perverted little gnome on a brief domestic flight. Then the axe came up. She twirled it around like a cheerleader's baton before settling into an en garde position.
"What was that...thing," the tiger-woman demanded, in a voice surprisingly like Siobhan's with primal ferocity and a heavy dose of implied violence added to the harmonics. "Give me its name that I may harry it unto death! It is an abomination on the face of the world!" She flexed her muscles and roared loud enough to rattle the dojo walls.
Nabiki fainted. Genma wet himself and then fainted. Soun was too preoccupied with Akane's presumed injuries to notice. Akane goggled. Kasumi excused herself to make tea. And Ranma...
Ranma blinked in surprise. He was in the presence of a cat. A large, human-like cat. A large, human-like cat to whom he was married. And there wasn't so much as a tickle of the paralyzing fear he usually felt around domestic felines. Normally, this situation should be sending him directly into the grip of the neko-ken, but...all he felt was intense pride and a bit hungry for something he couldn't quite name.
Urvasi glanced between Ranma and Siobhan a few times. Suddenly she blushed and snapped her fingers.
"Ah, I knew I forgot to mention something!"
Ranma reached over and laid a hand on a massive paw. The tiger-woman looked down at him...no, he told himself strictly, this was Siobhan. This was his wife, who had waited for him to return across untold ages and countless human lifetimes. He would not fail her now.
"That was the Grand Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts, of which the Tendo Ryu partakes. His name is Happosai. You will find he is not well regarded. His conduct is a disgrace to all true martial artists. He is a thief, a pervert, and a childish cad. Unfortunately, he is also quite skilled."
"That...taught this?" Siobhan pointed to Tendo Soun.
"And the other one, yes," Ranma nodded, indicating Genma. "The Saotome Ryu was mine by right of inheritance. I had cause to reconsider my association with it earlier today. There are other schools than this."
Siobhan was silent for a minute, which gave others time to recover. Finally, about the time Soun noticed that there was a large and scary cat- woman with an axe in his dojo, she nodded solemnly.
"I trust your decision, Husband. This is not a worthy school. Let it die out." She snorted. "No, let it be forgotten, even by the Maiden of Secrets!"
"Wait," Soun cried out. "Perhaps...we could...talk this over?"
"What is there to discuss?" Siobhan seemed to shimmer and shrink back to her human guise. "That gnome is the founder of the school, yes? Smash them both!"
"Er, yes...ashamed as I am to admit it." Soun shifted nervously. "But there is no need to leap to conclusions! Please...won't you enjoy the hospitality of my house while we discuss this matter? Maybe a more agreeable solution can be found..."
Siobhan looked at Ranma and shrugged. Urvasi tugged at his sleeve. He bent down.
"Lord...pardon me again...Ranma, while you are just and fair in your desire to see an end to this misguided and foolish arrangement, Mother has confided in me that she is not satisfied if matters are merely broken off. I suggest you at least hear the mortal out and take time before you answer." She grinned up at him. "Besides, this will give you a greater opportunity to tie up any other loose ends before abandoning this den of fools."
"You're up to something, aren't you?"
"I am my mother's daughter, Ranma. Have you remembered her yet?"
"Not really, no."
"She was once known as the Confounder of Wisdom, among other titles. These days, her successor is known as Murphy. Take that as you like it, but she is not yet done with these mortals."
"Very well." Ranma straightened up and cleared his throat. "Tendo-san, in return for the great hospitality which you have shown me in the past, I will grant you this one request...on the condition that there will be no further discussion of marriages." He held up his left hand. "That matter is already settled."
"But..." Soun sighed. "Very well. I accept your condition. Shall we retire to the house?"
Ranma nodded reluctantly. "Let us finish this, Tendo-san. With honor."
End Chapter Six.
To Be Continued.
Tune in next time, when Ukyo learns the hard way about Lunar mating habits, Glatisant confesses her Master Plan (#37, evil laugh optional), and Ryoga wins...sort of.
Author's Notes.
What, Ranma OOC? He now has a 'get out of stupid parental promises' card in his pocket! He's also dimly aware that he's no longer the dumb jock he's been raised to be...and no longer willing to just grin and bear it when the fathers try to browbeat him. This doesn't stop them from trying, of course...
There's a side story that more or less follows this chapter, posted separately. It was actually written before I started Cestus Sol.
Did Exaltation cure the Neko-ken? That's a good question. The answer is almost as much a secret as Siobhan's three vital measurements.