Disclaimer: The author owns neither Ranma nor Exalted, and does not hereby challenge all rights and privileges enjoyed by the creative masterminds who do. All glory and honor to Takahashi-megumi, without whom life would be so much duller.
Cestus Sol
A Ranma/Exalted crossover by the MadPanda
Chapter Seven: Lost Ends
The long and pointless evening rant was over. Akane had fled to the relative sanctuary of her room, with its little-girl furnishings and the painted wooden duck sign on the door. Genma had been beaten senseless with the living room table after lunging after his son-turned-daughter. Tendo Soun, left to carry on, had gotten enough of a grip on himself at long last to realize that browbeating Ranma was a foolish thing to do under the circumstances. Without Nabiki's counsel and snide remarks, however, the poor man was unable to think of any way to continue a conversation with his former son-in-law-to-be and...her. Ranma still sat patiently, having said little but the word 'no' as often as necessary since flattening his father with the table. And the woman beside him...silent and stone-faced, she did nothing that invited discourtesy (except, of course, being present).
"Are you quite finished, Tendo?"
"What? Uhm...yes. Yes, I...we're finished." Soun glanced at Genma, who probably wouldn't wake up until the morning. "Unless you'd be willing to accept Nabiki or Kasumi instead of Akane..."
"You gave me that choice once already. They made it for me, as I recall."
Soun tried to laugh. "I may have been too hasty, that first night..."
Ranma frowned. Siobhan scowled. Soun stopped laughing. In the sudden and awkward moment of silence that followed, Nabiki raced past the living room to the stairs and up to her room. A few moments later, Kasumi followed her younger sister, pausing only to bow politely before she too fled to her bedroom.
"So," Soun cleared his throat. "You will not reconsider?"
"No," Ranma stated firmly. "Not unless you can give me a better reason than an old and vague promise to do so. None of your daughters wish to marry me, and I have no need of a second wife."
Siobhan laid her hand on Ranma's shoulder.
"I do not know," she smirked. "That servant girl might be fun to tumble."
Ranma laughed while Soun gasped in surprise and alarm. "Do not tease him so, love! Besides, Kasumi was the one who first suggested Akane would make the perfect bride for me. While I do not hold her having thus rejected my hand against her, it would make any overtures more awkward."
The Lunar snorted in amusement and chuckled to herself. "Pity! There's fire under that apron..."
Soun spluttered with indignation and shock, while Ranma merely shook his head.
"Behave yourself, wife. We are guests here."
"Hmph. I would have thought a man would feel complimented to hear his daughters praised so." She laughed louder, reaching over to clap Soun on the shoulder. "And this even after such haste to marry them off! Do they displease you? Are they disobedient? If they do not offend you, why be in such a hurry to see them married off?"
"It was...a dream. A dream shared by two friends, students of the same master," Ranma said solemnly, allowing Soun time to regain his composure. "That neither of them considered the consequences of their other actions to that dream...well, nobody's perfect."
Soun nodded. "Unfortunately, the Master is less perfect than most. Ranma-kun, it is late. If you and your...wife...wish to stay here for the night..."
"The dojo will do," Siobhan purred. "It is roomy. And certainly more private than the guest room."
Ranma blushed in spite of himself.
"Well then," said Soun as he shifted uneasily. "Sleep well and we can continue this in the morning...about the Tendo Ryu remaining intact and all."
"Are you dropping the arrangement?"
"We shall see, Ranma-kun. We shall see."
With that, Soun bade them good night and withdrew to his own room. A few moments later, Urvasi reappeared from the kitchen.
"Where did everybody...oh, I see the architect of misery remains yet. Tell me, Ranma, did you smite him for a current fault this time or a past one?"
"Current. He tried to beat me into accepting his fool's bargain yet again. And what mischief have you been about all this time?"
Urvasi giggled. "Lady Nabiki lost a bet, and her sister harbors a secret. Is she truly so innocent as she appears?"
"Kasumi? Probably. Why?" Ranma frowned in thought. "Oh. This would have something to do with their swift departure earlier tonight, right?"
"Just so, Ranma. Just so." The god-blood stretched in a way that would prove very distracting, were she a few years more matured. "You are staying here for the night?"
"Aye," Siobhan answered. "We have things to discuss, my husband and I."
Urvasi nodded. "I shall bring Mother to you on the morrow. For now, I must go and check on Lady Nabiki, and then I will return home. Good evening to you, Ranma, Lady Nightfang."
"Be well, Apsara," Siobhan nodded back.
"G'nite," Ranma smiled. After a moment he stood and held out a hand to his wife. She took it and allowed him to lead her back out to the dojo.
Clasping spoon-fashion on the hard wooden floor, Siobhan's arms wrapped around Ranma-chan's tiny waist, the two lovers merely enjoyed each other's presence for a time. Eventually, Siobhan kissed the back of Ranma's neck.
"Just a moment. There's something I want to do again...you used to enjoy sleeping with me this way."
While her currently female husband squirmed, blushed, and stammered, she sat up and shimmered through another transformation. This one, nearly as startling as the first, ended with a large white tiger curling up around the pig-tailed martial artist. Ranma started, fidgeted, and finally relaxed against the warm, furry body beside him.
"I...ought to have figured you could do this," Ranma sighed. "It makes only too much sense. And, of course, you turn into a tiger."
"This is a problem for you?" Her voice echoed in his mind, though not his ears.
"Remind me to tell you about the nekoken training sometime. You don't seem to set it off, so we're okay, but...normally I don't react well to ca...ts. Hey, I can say the word!"
"Cat Fist training?"
"Long story. Not one of Genma's better ideas."
"I do not like that mortal. I do not like him at all."
"Try living with him. So, uhm, what did you want to talk about? I mean, where would you like to start? There's so much ground to cover..."
The tiger was silent for a while.
"I hated you, once. For sending me away. For telling me to leave you to your death."
"I remembered that. Dreamt it, actually."
"Yes...I was very angry for a long time. But you were right to have done so. I know that now. As much as it hurt to admit it, you were right. If I had died by your side, there is much that would have gone undone." She made a feline noise that seemed to indicate amusement. "I would not have met Glatisant, for one."
"Yeah, she's interesting. Like a Chinese curse."
"Hmm? Yes, I suppose so."
"Siobhan?"
"Yes, Ranma?"
"Would you tell me a story? I mean, you obviously remember what I was back during this First Age or whatever. But, uhm, I don't...except for my dreams, and this funny feeling I get whenever I think about or look at you, I don't really have much to go on. I want to know more. About me. About you. About us...hey, listen to me, getting' all soppy!"
Another amused rumble from the tiger.
"I will tell you a story, my heart. I will tell you of the day we met."
Ranma sighed and blushed again, embarrassed by his own swelling emotions, then his inability to be comfortable with them, and finally his failure to hide both the other two reactions.
"I'd...really like that."
"Let me see...it was in the capital city of the Dragon Kings, long lost Rathess. You had come out of your lands in the southeast of Creation to visit a dying friend. He was one of the reptilian soldier-philosophers, a noble and generous creature named Lord Ssathua, and you two had many adventures over the course of his lives...I will speak more of him another time, for his memory deserves a story all its own. This was not remarkable—you visited often, trading tales and reminiscing. But unlike prior visits, this time you came with only a single mortal-born squire as your companion. No entorage, no adoring servants, no luxury...just you and the boy and your two horses. You caused quite a stir with such modesty!"
"As for me, I was newly Exalted. My mentor and I had come to the same city to visit Lord Ssathua as well, but not knowing of his advanced age and failing health we dawdled too long and came too late to meet the venerable scholar. Even as my master cursed his poor timing, we saw you help your friend die on the altar at the Temple of the Sun..."
"Wait! I...killed him? I killed my friend? That doesn't make any sense!"
"Please, Ranma! Calm down and I can explain what you do not yet remember."
"Oh...okay. I'll trust you. But that's just...I don't like it."
"You need not like it. But I promise you, you did no wrong. The Dragon Kings did not fear death, for they were swiftly reborn and retained their memory from life to life. Often the aged or infirm would seek an honorable release in open combat or voluntary sacrifice to the Unconquered Sun. They would have seen your cooperation as a high honor...for you, or any other Exalt." She butted him lightly with her broad head. "They found your dislike of killing to be an amusing aberration for one who so loved battle...but they accepted it, just as they accepted your need to mourn your friend's absence. They, knowing that he would swiftly return, saw no need of such sentiment...yet they did not revel in pain and suffering, nor were they cruel. Merely quite different in their ways. Do you see?"
"Oh. Uhm, okay, I guess."
"Those were different days, husband. The world has changed. You have not, overmuch. Anyway, after you helped your friend pass with honor and glory, my master petitioned you for the right to see Lord Ssathua's collection of rare manuscripts. You refused at once. You did not have permission to grant permission, and your friend had not thought to give you access to his things before he died. There and then, my mentor challenged you to unarmed combat. If you lost, he said, you would have to give him what he asked. It was foolish of him, really. Here we were, petitioning against reason for rights that were not yours to grant, and demanding a trial by combat! Can you imagine?"
"All too well."
"I was horrified! Here old Timberclaws himself, my mentor, daring a Prince of Creation to single combat for a library that time itself might bring to him? Even that morning he had lectured me on decorum and etiquette! You can imagine how I felt, watching him break the very rules he demanded I obey."
"Yeah," Ranma laughed. "I know that feeling all too well. Go on."
"The other Dragon Kings, always in the mood to watch a good fight, cleared a space for the two of you and let you go at it. With bare fists flailing, you did." The tiger fell silent for a moment. "By the Goddess, you two were magnificent! Your auras, clashing together on the stones, striking and dodging and blocking...and ringing clearly through it all I heard your joyous laughter. When my mentor lost his temper and his control at long last, you drove him from the ring to the cheering of the throng."
"I rushed to my mentor's side, intent on helping him. In his rage-blind frustration, he knew me not and struck at me. Had I not been pulled away at the last moment, he might have crippled me or worse!" Another feline laugh. "Instead my dignity alone was wounded, for I had been swept off my feet and carried to a safe distance. Swooning in shock, I neglected to punish the fool who dared to touch me without my permission...and a good thing, too. You apologized for the familiarity and returned to help my mentor to his feet again, leaving me to gawk after you like a mere mortal wench, struck dumb by lust and adoration."
"That sounds familiar..."
"As I said, husband, you have not changed so much. It was only much later that I even got a good look at you with unclouded eyes. I found you...magnificent. Striking. Arousing. But those words described any Solar, and most Lunars besides. That is not the reason I begged Timberclaws to petition you to accept me as your bride, those many years later."
"Not my good looks, hunh?" Ranma yawned. "So why'd you bother with me? Why did you wait? I mean, I sent ya packin' at th' end, didn't I?"
"Many another Solar would not have helped a stranger avoid a blow like that. Most would not help a fallen opponent to rise again. Indeed, very few of your fellows would have bothered to come, as you did, without an entourage. Whatever your faults, and you have those, you also have a good and kind heart. Valor and compassion are a rare mix, my husband. For that alone, for you alone, I would have waited for another million mortal lifetimes or another hundred ages of this world."
"Nuh-uh," Ranma muttered. "Never gonna send ya away again. Want ya to stay..."
"I will." Siobhan waited as he fell asleep, curled against her, before finally putting her head down and joining her young lover in dreams.
Morning came all too soon. Ranma woke to the unfamiliar feeling of being cradled in someone's arms. Reflex almost took over before he remembered that this was Siobhan, not Shampoo, not Akane, and that he was not about to be hit. A moment later he also remembered that his wife was currently a very large cat. Sitting up, he enjoyed the novel experience of looking at a feline without feeling any fear at all.
She opened her eyes when he reached out and scratched her chin, leaning her head back to allow him greater access. It wasn't until she started to purr that Ranma spoke.
"That feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes."
"Heh. My wife, the overgrown pussycat." He smiled happily and kissed her muzzle.
She snorted. "You think so? And am I also an uncute tomboy?"
"Yep. Don't wanna be married to some shrinking, shrieking little princess, now do I? Besides, ya ain't cute. Beautiful, yes. Sexy...yeah. But cute?"
Siobhan flipped over on her back, exposing her belly and flanks, and assumed a very kittenish posture, batting her eyes at him. Ranma laughed, and her voice joined his.
"Okay, okay, ya made yer point. But ya know somethin'? Ya understood what I meant by that."
"I'd better," came her answer, mock anger and hidden laughter heavy in her voice.
"Oh, my! Uhm, good morning," Kasumi stood in the door. "Breakfast is almost ready, Ranma-kun. Your...wife...is welcome to join us if she wishes. And the bath is ready. Will you be attending school with Akane today?"
"Thanks, Kasumi. I think I'll let Siobhan take her bath first. And I hadn't really thought about school, but you're right. I should go."
Siobhan rolled to her feet and padded over to the door, looking up at the nervous girl.
"Ranma-kun, who is your guest," Kasumi sounded scared out of her wits. "And why aren't you going into...nekoken?"
Ranma laughed as Siobhan took that moment to shift back to her human form. Kasumi was suddenly looking into those intense silver-blue feline eyes at much closer proximity than the Japanese girl would have liked. Then the strange gaijin woman did something even more bizarre—she sniffed the air around Kasumi's face.
"Relax, mortal. You are not prey," she rumbled. Behind her, Ranma rolled on the floor, howling with laughter. The woman's voice took on a sultry note when she added, "not for killing and eating, anyway."
Kasumi retreated a half-step, blushing furiously. Siobhan reached out and lightly patted her shoulder.
"That was a joke, mortal. A joke. You know, not to be taken seriously? I did not mean to frighten you overmuch."
"B-but Urvasi-chan said...oh, it was most improper!"
"The Qiling likes to make mischief," Siobhan nodded. "It is her nature to do so. As it is her mother's. Whatever she told you was likely true, as she cannot lie. She would say it in a way that would cause trouble of one sort or another."
"Oh. My!" Kasumi's blush deepened. "And she seemed so nice and helpful!"
"She is that, as well. What did she tell you, that you blush like a pure temple maiden?"
"I...oh, my! Breakfast! I must..." Kasumi turned and dashed back to her kitchen. Siobhan turned to Ranma, who was still laughing too hard to speak.
"I suppose you can explain that, husband mine?"
"Poor Kasumi," he managed between guffahs. "She really needs to get out more often. Okay, lemme show you where the bath is, if ya wanna take one."
"A long soak in hot water sounds very nice. Soft, overly civilized, but nice. Will you join me?"
"Love, I'd be delighted, but I can't take a bath around here without someone interruptin' most of the time. I join ya, we won't even get ta scrub each other's backs before Shampoo or Ryoga comes through the wall, or Akane'll walk in and...well, ya get th' idea. Later, maybe, I'll take ya up on that." Ranma blushed at the implication.
Siobhan looked a bit surprised, then smiled seductively. "When we first married, you were the worldly wise veteran, and I the innocent cub in arms. It looks like I get to be experienced one this time. This will be fun." She patted his shoulder, kissed him on the cheek. "But not until you are ready. Show me to the baths, Ranma. Please."
While she bathed, Ranma enjoyed a quick cup of tea in the kitchen. After a few moments, Nabiki stumbled in, looking a good deal less awake and aware than usual.
"Hey, Saoto...uhm, Ranma. Where's your pussycat?"
"Taking a bath. Why?"
"No reason."
"You look terrible."
"Really? Gee, thanks. I didn't notice! I guess not sleeping well leaves me looking like something the Kuno-chan dragged home."
"Sorry. Let me guess. Urvasi told you something that sort of turned your life upside down, inside out, and generally screwed up."
Nabiki held up her left hand. Ranma's eyes caught the silver band at once. He nodded solemnly and gave the girl what he hoped was a supportive and understanding smile.
"If you wanna talk about it...I think we're gonna go stay at Glatisant's shrine for a bit. You can find me there."
"Why?" He heard the rest of her question easily enough: why would you help me, after all I've done to you? Why don't you revel in my discomfort? Why aren't you gloating?
"Nabiki-san, who else around here understands what that ring truly means? Besides, I'm gonna charge ya. Feel better?"
Nabiki tried not to laugh. She tried not to smile. She really did. But her habitual smirk became a full smile when she realized that yes, she was feeling much better, hearing those words.
"And just what do you think you can charge me for this supposed help?"
"Services rendered, one favor for another." Ranma finished his tea with a single gulp. "You can help me figure out how to break this to Ucchan."
"When did you get this smart, Ranma-kun?"
"The truth?"
"Please."
"I've probably always been this smart, but Genma never let me develop it. So I kind of owe Glatisant something—they gave you one of those little glass orbs to go with the ring, didn't they?"
"Ah. Yeah, Urvasi did."
"But you haven't broken it yet."
"No."
Ranma smirked. "It changes everything. Exaltation, I mean. I can see all the options I've never realized I had. For the first time in my life, I can think past the short term. And what you might do with that kind of freedom, it would be just incredible..."
Ranma's comment was cut off by an angry roar of feminine outrage from the bath, followed a moment later by sounds of battle. Ranma leapt to his feet and would have stormed off to see what had angered Siobhan, but a Ryoga-shaped blur hit the koi pond. Nabiki grabbed at Ranma's sleeve.
"Hold on, Mustang! Did you see that?"
"See what? All I see is bacon on the hoof," Ranma grumbled sourly. "I can guess what just happened...maybe you better tell Akane that her precious little pet piggy is back."
"Why would I do...kami-sama!"
A furious, dripping wet, and naked Siobhan dashed through the living room and skidded to a halt on the back deck, seemingly oblivious to her state of undress and with her tattoos aflame with the silvery light of a Lunar battle aura! Striding over to the pond, she retrieved a small black piglet and shook it fiercely.
"You! You insufferable little mortal worm!"
"Okay, I'll handle this. You just stay back here, Nabiki."
"Ranma, was that...did I just see...Ryoga? But that's P-chan..."
"What do you think, Nabiki?" With that sour remark, Ranma rose and followed after his wife, trying not to pay attention to all of her tattoos.
"Husband, this..."
"Yeah, I know. Long story. Go finish your bath. I'll make sure Bacon Bits here doesn't..."
"Ranma! Quit teasing P-chan!"
Ranma grimaced. Here the merry-go-round went again...Akane stomped out and snatched her 'pet' back from Siobhan. The Lunar narrowed her eyes and would have probably smacked Akane in return had Ranma not held her arm.
"You gaijin monster woman! Stay away from my P-chan! And put some clothes on! You're as big a pervert as Ranma!"
Ranma pulled Siobhan away from Akane before the Lunar completely lost her temper. "I'll explain later, I promise. Go finish your bath and let Akane have her pet, okay?"
"He tried to bathe with me without permission!"
"He probably didn't even see you. Trust me, Ryoga's kind of dense where women are involved. And coming from me, that's saying something."
Siobhan fumed but nodded and returned to her bath. On his way back to the kitchen, Ranma was interrupted by a knock at the front door. Out of sheer habit, he answered it. Little Urvasi and Glatisant stood there expectantly.
"Good morning to you, Ranma! Here we are, as I promised."
"Indeed, Lightbringer. Good morrow. How fare you?"
"Uhm...well enough, I guess. Listen, ya might wanna reschedule. We just had..."
"An incident," Glatisant grinned. "I heard the Nightfang's cry two blocks from here. Which of your many complications was it?"
"The pig."
"Ah, yes. Tendo Akane's one true fiancée! What did he do, walk in on the Nightfang in her bath?"
Ranma looked at her carefully for a long moment. The strange woman gave no hint of sarcasm, guile, innuendo, or foresight in her expression. That, he decided, meant that somehow she must have known....
"Good guess."
"Assemble the mortals, if you would please. I would like to speak with them. You, the Eclipse, and the Nightfang are excused if you wish."
"The who?"
Urvasi coughed. "She has not yet embraced her legacy, Mother..."
"Oh. Very well, then. The mortal you call Nabiki. She is excused from this tedious and unpleasant business." Glatisant waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "But of course you are also invited to sit in, if you wish. There may be some small entertainment value in it for you three."
So it was that breakfast at the Tendo's that morning had a few hangers-on. Urvasi gleefully accepted a place beside Nabiki, and Glatisant and Siobhan flanked Ranma. P-chan sat in Akane's lap, and the first sign that all was not normal was that Ranma seemed utterly unconcerned about the porcine interloper.
"Thank you all for coming," Glatisant beamed. "We'll be announcing a few changes to the workgroup organizational chart for the coming fiscal quarter. First of all, Ranma and Siobhan will be moving to a new account..."
Urvasi shot her mother a withering glare.
"Really, Mother! Must you be so deliberately obscure? They don't understand a word you're saying."
"No? Well, I was hoping to soften the blow, but...if I must be direct, I must. Ranma, do you remember that I offered you a place of your own, to protect and serve, possessed by right?"
"Yes."
"It is ready for you. Since you are no longer bound to this inauspicious place, I invite you and Lady Siobhan to take possession of your manse at once."
"Now see here..." Soun and Genma jumped to their feet, preparing to defend the arrangement. Glatisant ignored them, waving her hand in a complex and dismissive gesture that somehow robbed both fathers of their voice and movement
"Lady Nabiki, you are welcome to join them. I made certain that there is room enough for guests. Of course, since your spouse has not yet appeared..." The strange woman shrugged and smiled. "You may choose to remain here, at the center of the madness, whichever you might prefer. I would advise against it, but the choice is yours."
"Why would I want to move out?"
"Let me see. Ah, yes. What do you think your little sister will do when she learns her little pet pig is really..." Glatisant suddenly stopped herself, coughed a few times, and grinned. "Pardon me. That would have been far too abrupt."
"P-chan is really what?" Akane demanded.
"Not what he seems," Urvasi piped up. "And far more favored than he ought to be, under the circumstances." The little girl did not bother to keep the distaste and disapproval out of her voice. "Perversion and betrayal, mortal, are not where you so eagerly place them."
"You're giving her to Ryoga?" Ranma fought a sudden impulse to laugh. "I suppose that's just. He will survive her cooking, and she seems to like him. Let it be done. Now he can never say I haven't given him something good."
"What? You can't just..." Akane spluttered and tried to summon an argument that wouldn't involve a mallet.
"Cast you aside? Why not, Akane? You've never trusted me, accepted me, or listened to me. For that matter, the only reason you seemed to accept my presence was as a punching bag or a test subject for your cooking." Ranma spoke casually, no hint of anger or hurt in his voice. In ways, that matter of fact tone just made it worse. "I won't bother listing all the times you broke off our engagement over misunderstandings. The simple truth is that you are not willing to trust and support me. So...yes, I am casting you aside. Or rather, I am returning you your freedom. I wish you well, Tendo-san."
"Ranma no baka!"
Cradling the squirming and squealing object of contention in her arms, Akane suddenly rose and dashed out of the living room, chanting her usual mantra to hide her tears.
"Real smooth, Ranma-kun," Nabiki smirked. "Why do all the women find you so attractive?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Why do people still accept promises that Genma makes?" He stood and stretched. "I'll just go and get my things. They're in the dojo anyway. So, do what ya gotta do, Glatisant."
"Don't mind if I do," the strange woman grinned ferally. After Ranma left, oblivious to the hungry looks his wife gave him, Glatisant snapped her fingers...and restored Soun's voice, if not Genma's.
"How dare you do this! The arrangement is a matter of family honor! Ranma must marry Akane!"
"Must he. Tell me, man most mortal, how you restrain one who has slain a god before your very eyes? How do you plan on enforcing your will on him now that he is again in his power?"
"It is a matter of honor."
"Yes, so you say. But has not this," she indicated Genma, "also promised him to others? In bad faith, no less. And all those promises are equally binding...on Ranma. "
"Only the Tendo arrangement is valid! Ranma's mother supports it."
"So what? She also abandoned her only child to the care of an utter moron. Her opinion in this matter carries surprisingly little weight."
"She is his mother!"
"Of course she is. So what you are saying is that in spite of their feelings, in spite of all evidence against the match being a good one, you would force one as powerful as he into a marriage that would cause nothing but pain and resentment...because you want it to happen?"
Soun opened his mouth to react. And shut it again. And thought.
"But...they...nothing but pain and resentment?"
"You would have done far better to allow him time to know your daughters before forcing him to make a decision. Better still, you ought have allowed him the choice you promised. That would have been the honorable thing to do." Glatisant smiled suddenly. "But it matters no more! A Solar bound to a Mortal? Don't be ridiculous! She is not for him. You might as well affiance my lovely daughter to one of your two remaining children."
"Oh my!"
"Mother!"
"You see? They sound like the perfect couple already. Kasumi obviously loves small children, and Urvasi adores her elders. Their love life may be a bit strained, but it's the principle of the thing that is important, and in any case their feelings have no weight in the matter. Plus they will both become natural allies, despising us all for pushing them together in such fashion. Let us agree to unite our families thus, Tendo Soun!"
With a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he had heard so much of that disturbing line of reasoning once before, Soun took the path of least resistance and fainted to the distant sounds of Glatisant's mad laughter. Urvasi simply hid her face with her hands and moaned in annoyance and disgust. Kasumi sat, rooted in shock. Nabiki glanced at Siobhan, who was idly cleaning her fingernails with a knife.
"Did you get all that," she asked the Lunar.
"Yes."
"So, if I ask you to sum up on my behalf..."
Siobhan grinned and held out her hand in the same 'give me money' gesture so familiar to Nabiki. The Tendo girl sighed.
"How about we take it out in a trade of services rendered?"
"Oh?" The large woman raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Are you that good?"
"What?"
"I accept, should he permit it."
Nabiki copied Urvasi's grumbling. "Am I missing something here?"
"You just offered to bed her," Urvasi said with a resigned air. "She thinks you're offering to sleep off your debt."
"No! No, no, no! You've got the wrong idea...I'm not...I mean, no offense but...oh, damn." Nabiki repeated the face-plant, wondering if this was how Ranma felt whenever events got too fast for him to keep up.
Kasumi got unsteadily to her feet and returned to her one and only refuge, the kitchen. Urvasi watched her go, a slight frown marring her youthful features.
"That was unfair of you, Mother. Kasumi simply did not deserve that, not even in jest. And I did not deserve to be so used by you, not for so base and mean a point."
"True...but as Lord Ranma says, she did reject him almost out of hand. A small punishment for a small sin is just, is it not? And you know better than to take me seriously on such matters." She turned back to Nabiki. "So. Will you come with us, Solar?"
"Can I think about it? I mean..." Nabiki gestured at Siobhan. "I don't want to seem forward or be misunderstood or..."
"You want him? Earn my permission in bed." The Lunar suddenly roared with laughter, swatted Nabiki on the shoulder, and got to her feet, calling after Ranma.
"She's only joking," Urvasi mumbled. "So, we've humbled the master of the house, given the princess her piglet, given the servant girl a month's nightmares, and embarrassed the Quill of Heaven in her lair. It has been a busy morning. What to do now, Mother mine?"
"Oh, I should like a few words with this fat fool, here. Urvasi, return to the shrine. Lady Nabiki, I do apologize for disrupting your breakfast. I should like to speak with you further, if you would care to accompany my daughter and the Nightfang there? And Lord Ranma will be attending school. You needn't worry about him."
"I'm not. Akane is another story."
Glatisant shrugged. "Suit yourself. But I would tell you to leave them be, princess and piglet both."
"What does P-chan have...wait. That was Ryoga I saw hitting the pond! P-chan is..."
"They deserve to be happy in their mutual misery, don't you think?" Glatisant smiled warmly. "I am only ever cruel to be kind, Crowned Sun. Their union will be far happier than one your father had planned for her."
Nabiki shook her head. "You mean you know what will happen?"
"Close enough. But that's another time, and another talk. Go comfort your sister."
Shaking her head, Nabiki went...and tried to ignore the muffled screams from the living room as Glatisant 'discussed' matters with Genma. This was shaping up to be a day worth taking off, just to stop the weirdness from overwhelming her.
End Chapter Seven.
To Be Continued...
Tune in next time when Ucchan gets an offer she might refuse, Cologne has a bad day, and Nabiki levels up.
Author's Notes.
Sorry it's a bit late. Real Life happened. In compensation, this is about twice as long as originally envisioned. Next up, the other side story (which might just end up as the next chapter, now that I think about it).
Cestus Sol
A Ranma/Exalted crossover by the MadPanda
Chapter Seven: Lost Ends
The long and pointless evening rant was over. Akane had fled to the relative sanctuary of her room, with its little-girl furnishings and the painted wooden duck sign on the door. Genma had been beaten senseless with the living room table after lunging after his son-turned-daughter. Tendo Soun, left to carry on, had gotten enough of a grip on himself at long last to realize that browbeating Ranma was a foolish thing to do under the circumstances. Without Nabiki's counsel and snide remarks, however, the poor man was unable to think of any way to continue a conversation with his former son-in-law-to-be and...her. Ranma still sat patiently, having said little but the word 'no' as often as necessary since flattening his father with the table. And the woman beside him...silent and stone-faced, she did nothing that invited discourtesy (except, of course, being present).
"Are you quite finished, Tendo?"
"What? Uhm...yes. Yes, I...we're finished." Soun glanced at Genma, who probably wouldn't wake up until the morning. "Unless you'd be willing to accept Nabiki or Kasumi instead of Akane..."
"You gave me that choice once already. They made it for me, as I recall."
Soun tried to laugh. "I may have been too hasty, that first night..."
Ranma frowned. Siobhan scowled. Soun stopped laughing. In the sudden and awkward moment of silence that followed, Nabiki raced past the living room to the stairs and up to her room. A few moments later, Kasumi followed her younger sister, pausing only to bow politely before she too fled to her bedroom.
"So," Soun cleared his throat. "You will not reconsider?"
"No," Ranma stated firmly. "Not unless you can give me a better reason than an old and vague promise to do so. None of your daughters wish to marry me, and I have no need of a second wife."
Siobhan laid her hand on Ranma's shoulder.
"I do not know," she smirked. "That servant girl might be fun to tumble."
Ranma laughed while Soun gasped in surprise and alarm. "Do not tease him so, love! Besides, Kasumi was the one who first suggested Akane would make the perfect bride for me. While I do not hold her having thus rejected my hand against her, it would make any overtures more awkward."
The Lunar snorted in amusement and chuckled to herself. "Pity! There's fire under that apron..."
Soun spluttered with indignation and shock, while Ranma merely shook his head.
"Behave yourself, wife. We are guests here."
"Hmph. I would have thought a man would feel complimented to hear his daughters praised so." She laughed louder, reaching over to clap Soun on the shoulder. "And this even after such haste to marry them off! Do they displease you? Are they disobedient? If they do not offend you, why be in such a hurry to see them married off?"
"It was...a dream. A dream shared by two friends, students of the same master," Ranma said solemnly, allowing Soun time to regain his composure. "That neither of them considered the consequences of their other actions to that dream...well, nobody's perfect."
Soun nodded. "Unfortunately, the Master is less perfect than most. Ranma-kun, it is late. If you and your...wife...wish to stay here for the night..."
"The dojo will do," Siobhan purred. "It is roomy. And certainly more private than the guest room."
Ranma blushed in spite of himself.
"Well then," said Soun as he shifted uneasily. "Sleep well and we can continue this in the morning...about the Tendo Ryu remaining intact and all."
"Are you dropping the arrangement?"
"We shall see, Ranma-kun. We shall see."
With that, Soun bade them good night and withdrew to his own room. A few moments later, Urvasi reappeared from the kitchen.
"Where did everybody...oh, I see the architect of misery remains yet. Tell me, Ranma, did you smite him for a current fault this time or a past one?"
"Current. He tried to beat me into accepting his fool's bargain yet again. And what mischief have you been about all this time?"
Urvasi giggled. "Lady Nabiki lost a bet, and her sister harbors a secret. Is she truly so innocent as she appears?"
"Kasumi? Probably. Why?" Ranma frowned in thought. "Oh. This would have something to do with their swift departure earlier tonight, right?"
"Just so, Ranma. Just so." The god-blood stretched in a way that would prove very distracting, were she a few years more matured. "You are staying here for the night?"
"Aye," Siobhan answered. "We have things to discuss, my husband and I."
Urvasi nodded. "I shall bring Mother to you on the morrow. For now, I must go and check on Lady Nabiki, and then I will return home. Good evening to you, Ranma, Lady Nightfang."
"Be well, Apsara," Siobhan nodded back.
"G'nite," Ranma smiled. After a moment he stood and held out a hand to his wife. She took it and allowed him to lead her back out to the dojo.
Clasping spoon-fashion on the hard wooden floor, Siobhan's arms wrapped around Ranma-chan's tiny waist, the two lovers merely enjoyed each other's presence for a time. Eventually, Siobhan kissed the back of Ranma's neck.
"Just a moment. There's something I want to do again...you used to enjoy sleeping with me this way."
While her currently female husband squirmed, blushed, and stammered, she sat up and shimmered through another transformation. This one, nearly as startling as the first, ended with a large white tiger curling up around the pig-tailed martial artist. Ranma started, fidgeted, and finally relaxed against the warm, furry body beside him.
"I...ought to have figured you could do this," Ranma sighed. "It makes only too much sense. And, of course, you turn into a tiger."
"This is a problem for you?" Her voice echoed in his mind, though not his ears.
"Remind me to tell you about the nekoken training sometime. You don't seem to set it off, so we're okay, but...normally I don't react well to ca...ts. Hey, I can say the word!"
"Cat Fist training?"
"Long story. Not one of Genma's better ideas."
"I do not like that mortal. I do not like him at all."
"Try living with him. So, uhm, what did you want to talk about? I mean, where would you like to start? There's so much ground to cover..."
The tiger was silent for a while.
"I hated you, once. For sending me away. For telling me to leave you to your death."
"I remembered that. Dreamt it, actually."
"Yes...I was very angry for a long time. But you were right to have done so. I know that now. As much as it hurt to admit it, you were right. If I had died by your side, there is much that would have gone undone." She made a feline noise that seemed to indicate amusement. "I would not have met Glatisant, for one."
"Yeah, she's interesting. Like a Chinese curse."
"Hmm? Yes, I suppose so."
"Siobhan?"
"Yes, Ranma?"
"Would you tell me a story? I mean, you obviously remember what I was back during this First Age or whatever. But, uhm, I don't...except for my dreams, and this funny feeling I get whenever I think about or look at you, I don't really have much to go on. I want to know more. About me. About you. About us...hey, listen to me, getting' all soppy!"
Another amused rumble from the tiger.
"I will tell you a story, my heart. I will tell you of the day we met."
Ranma sighed and blushed again, embarrassed by his own swelling emotions, then his inability to be comfortable with them, and finally his failure to hide both the other two reactions.
"I'd...really like that."
"Let me see...it was in the capital city of the Dragon Kings, long lost Rathess. You had come out of your lands in the southeast of Creation to visit a dying friend. He was one of the reptilian soldier-philosophers, a noble and generous creature named Lord Ssathua, and you two had many adventures over the course of his lives...I will speak more of him another time, for his memory deserves a story all its own. This was not remarkable—you visited often, trading tales and reminiscing. But unlike prior visits, this time you came with only a single mortal-born squire as your companion. No entorage, no adoring servants, no luxury...just you and the boy and your two horses. You caused quite a stir with such modesty!"
"As for me, I was newly Exalted. My mentor and I had come to the same city to visit Lord Ssathua as well, but not knowing of his advanced age and failing health we dawdled too long and came too late to meet the venerable scholar. Even as my master cursed his poor timing, we saw you help your friend die on the altar at the Temple of the Sun..."
"Wait! I...killed him? I killed my friend? That doesn't make any sense!"
"Please, Ranma! Calm down and I can explain what you do not yet remember."
"Oh...okay. I'll trust you. But that's just...I don't like it."
"You need not like it. But I promise you, you did no wrong. The Dragon Kings did not fear death, for they were swiftly reborn and retained their memory from life to life. Often the aged or infirm would seek an honorable release in open combat or voluntary sacrifice to the Unconquered Sun. They would have seen your cooperation as a high honor...for you, or any other Exalt." She butted him lightly with her broad head. "They found your dislike of killing to be an amusing aberration for one who so loved battle...but they accepted it, just as they accepted your need to mourn your friend's absence. They, knowing that he would swiftly return, saw no need of such sentiment...yet they did not revel in pain and suffering, nor were they cruel. Merely quite different in their ways. Do you see?"
"Oh. Uhm, okay, I guess."
"Those were different days, husband. The world has changed. You have not, overmuch. Anyway, after you helped your friend pass with honor and glory, my master petitioned you for the right to see Lord Ssathua's collection of rare manuscripts. You refused at once. You did not have permission to grant permission, and your friend had not thought to give you access to his things before he died. There and then, my mentor challenged you to unarmed combat. If you lost, he said, you would have to give him what he asked. It was foolish of him, really. Here we were, petitioning against reason for rights that were not yours to grant, and demanding a trial by combat! Can you imagine?"
"All too well."
"I was horrified! Here old Timberclaws himself, my mentor, daring a Prince of Creation to single combat for a library that time itself might bring to him? Even that morning he had lectured me on decorum and etiquette! You can imagine how I felt, watching him break the very rules he demanded I obey."
"Yeah," Ranma laughed. "I know that feeling all too well. Go on."
"The other Dragon Kings, always in the mood to watch a good fight, cleared a space for the two of you and let you go at it. With bare fists flailing, you did." The tiger fell silent for a moment. "By the Goddess, you two were magnificent! Your auras, clashing together on the stones, striking and dodging and blocking...and ringing clearly through it all I heard your joyous laughter. When my mentor lost his temper and his control at long last, you drove him from the ring to the cheering of the throng."
"I rushed to my mentor's side, intent on helping him. In his rage-blind frustration, he knew me not and struck at me. Had I not been pulled away at the last moment, he might have crippled me or worse!" Another feline laugh. "Instead my dignity alone was wounded, for I had been swept off my feet and carried to a safe distance. Swooning in shock, I neglected to punish the fool who dared to touch me without my permission...and a good thing, too. You apologized for the familiarity and returned to help my mentor to his feet again, leaving me to gawk after you like a mere mortal wench, struck dumb by lust and adoration."
"That sounds familiar..."
"As I said, husband, you have not changed so much. It was only much later that I even got a good look at you with unclouded eyes. I found you...magnificent. Striking. Arousing. But those words described any Solar, and most Lunars besides. That is not the reason I begged Timberclaws to petition you to accept me as your bride, those many years later."
"Not my good looks, hunh?" Ranma yawned. "So why'd you bother with me? Why did you wait? I mean, I sent ya packin' at th' end, didn't I?"
"Many another Solar would not have helped a stranger avoid a blow like that. Most would not help a fallen opponent to rise again. Indeed, very few of your fellows would have bothered to come, as you did, without an entourage. Whatever your faults, and you have those, you also have a good and kind heart. Valor and compassion are a rare mix, my husband. For that alone, for you alone, I would have waited for another million mortal lifetimes or another hundred ages of this world."
"Nuh-uh," Ranma muttered. "Never gonna send ya away again. Want ya to stay..."
"I will." Siobhan waited as he fell asleep, curled against her, before finally putting her head down and joining her young lover in dreams.
Morning came all too soon. Ranma woke to the unfamiliar feeling of being cradled in someone's arms. Reflex almost took over before he remembered that this was Siobhan, not Shampoo, not Akane, and that he was not about to be hit. A moment later he also remembered that his wife was currently a very large cat. Sitting up, he enjoyed the novel experience of looking at a feline without feeling any fear at all.
She opened her eyes when he reached out and scratched her chin, leaning her head back to allow him greater access. It wasn't until she started to purr that Ranma spoke.
"That feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes."
"Heh. My wife, the overgrown pussycat." He smiled happily and kissed her muzzle.
She snorted. "You think so? And am I also an uncute tomboy?"
"Yep. Don't wanna be married to some shrinking, shrieking little princess, now do I? Besides, ya ain't cute. Beautiful, yes. Sexy...yeah. But cute?"
Siobhan flipped over on her back, exposing her belly and flanks, and assumed a very kittenish posture, batting her eyes at him. Ranma laughed, and her voice joined his.
"Okay, okay, ya made yer point. But ya know somethin'? Ya understood what I meant by that."
"I'd better," came her answer, mock anger and hidden laughter heavy in her voice.
"Oh, my! Uhm, good morning," Kasumi stood in the door. "Breakfast is almost ready, Ranma-kun. Your...wife...is welcome to join us if she wishes. And the bath is ready. Will you be attending school with Akane today?"
"Thanks, Kasumi. I think I'll let Siobhan take her bath first. And I hadn't really thought about school, but you're right. I should go."
Siobhan rolled to her feet and padded over to the door, looking up at the nervous girl.
"Ranma-kun, who is your guest," Kasumi sounded scared out of her wits. "And why aren't you going into...nekoken?"
Ranma laughed as Siobhan took that moment to shift back to her human form. Kasumi was suddenly looking into those intense silver-blue feline eyes at much closer proximity than the Japanese girl would have liked. Then the strange gaijin woman did something even more bizarre—she sniffed the air around Kasumi's face.
"Relax, mortal. You are not prey," she rumbled. Behind her, Ranma rolled on the floor, howling with laughter. The woman's voice took on a sultry note when she added, "not for killing and eating, anyway."
Kasumi retreated a half-step, blushing furiously. Siobhan reached out and lightly patted her shoulder.
"That was a joke, mortal. A joke. You know, not to be taken seriously? I did not mean to frighten you overmuch."
"B-but Urvasi-chan said...oh, it was most improper!"
"The Qiling likes to make mischief," Siobhan nodded. "It is her nature to do so. As it is her mother's. Whatever she told you was likely true, as she cannot lie. She would say it in a way that would cause trouble of one sort or another."
"Oh. My!" Kasumi's blush deepened. "And she seemed so nice and helpful!"
"She is that, as well. What did she tell you, that you blush like a pure temple maiden?"
"I...oh, my! Breakfast! I must..." Kasumi turned and dashed back to her kitchen. Siobhan turned to Ranma, who was still laughing too hard to speak.
"I suppose you can explain that, husband mine?"
"Poor Kasumi," he managed between guffahs. "She really needs to get out more often. Okay, lemme show you where the bath is, if ya wanna take one."
"A long soak in hot water sounds very nice. Soft, overly civilized, but nice. Will you join me?"
"Love, I'd be delighted, but I can't take a bath around here without someone interruptin' most of the time. I join ya, we won't even get ta scrub each other's backs before Shampoo or Ryoga comes through the wall, or Akane'll walk in and...well, ya get th' idea. Later, maybe, I'll take ya up on that." Ranma blushed at the implication.
Siobhan looked a bit surprised, then smiled seductively. "When we first married, you were the worldly wise veteran, and I the innocent cub in arms. It looks like I get to be experienced one this time. This will be fun." She patted his shoulder, kissed him on the cheek. "But not until you are ready. Show me to the baths, Ranma. Please."
While she bathed, Ranma enjoyed a quick cup of tea in the kitchen. After a few moments, Nabiki stumbled in, looking a good deal less awake and aware than usual.
"Hey, Saoto...uhm, Ranma. Where's your pussycat?"
"Taking a bath. Why?"
"No reason."
"You look terrible."
"Really? Gee, thanks. I didn't notice! I guess not sleeping well leaves me looking like something the Kuno-chan dragged home."
"Sorry. Let me guess. Urvasi told you something that sort of turned your life upside down, inside out, and generally screwed up."
Nabiki held up her left hand. Ranma's eyes caught the silver band at once. He nodded solemnly and gave the girl what he hoped was a supportive and understanding smile.
"If you wanna talk about it...I think we're gonna go stay at Glatisant's shrine for a bit. You can find me there."
"Why?" He heard the rest of her question easily enough: why would you help me, after all I've done to you? Why don't you revel in my discomfort? Why aren't you gloating?
"Nabiki-san, who else around here understands what that ring truly means? Besides, I'm gonna charge ya. Feel better?"
Nabiki tried not to laugh. She tried not to smile. She really did. But her habitual smirk became a full smile when she realized that yes, she was feeling much better, hearing those words.
"And just what do you think you can charge me for this supposed help?"
"Services rendered, one favor for another." Ranma finished his tea with a single gulp. "You can help me figure out how to break this to Ucchan."
"When did you get this smart, Ranma-kun?"
"The truth?"
"Please."
"I've probably always been this smart, but Genma never let me develop it. So I kind of owe Glatisant something—they gave you one of those little glass orbs to go with the ring, didn't they?"
"Ah. Yeah, Urvasi did."
"But you haven't broken it yet."
"No."
Ranma smirked. "It changes everything. Exaltation, I mean. I can see all the options I've never realized I had. For the first time in my life, I can think past the short term. And what you might do with that kind of freedom, it would be just incredible..."
Ranma's comment was cut off by an angry roar of feminine outrage from the bath, followed a moment later by sounds of battle. Ranma leapt to his feet and would have stormed off to see what had angered Siobhan, but a Ryoga-shaped blur hit the koi pond. Nabiki grabbed at Ranma's sleeve.
"Hold on, Mustang! Did you see that?"
"See what? All I see is bacon on the hoof," Ranma grumbled sourly. "I can guess what just happened...maybe you better tell Akane that her precious little pet piggy is back."
"Why would I do...kami-sama!"
A furious, dripping wet, and naked Siobhan dashed through the living room and skidded to a halt on the back deck, seemingly oblivious to her state of undress and with her tattoos aflame with the silvery light of a Lunar battle aura! Striding over to the pond, she retrieved a small black piglet and shook it fiercely.
"You! You insufferable little mortal worm!"
"Okay, I'll handle this. You just stay back here, Nabiki."
"Ranma, was that...did I just see...Ryoga? But that's P-chan..."
"What do you think, Nabiki?" With that sour remark, Ranma rose and followed after his wife, trying not to pay attention to all of her tattoos.
"Husband, this..."
"Yeah, I know. Long story. Go finish your bath. I'll make sure Bacon Bits here doesn't..."
"Ranma! Quit teasing P-chan!"
Ranma grimaced. Here the merry-go-round went again...Akane stomped out and snatched her 'pet' back from Siobhan. The Lunar narrowed her eyes and would have probably smacked Akane in return had Ranma not held her arm.
"You gaijin monster woman! Stay away from my P-chan! And put some clothes on! You're as big a pervert as Ranma!"
Ranma pulled Siobhan away from Akane before the Lunar completely lost her temper. "I'll explain later, I promise. Go finish your bath and let Akane have her pet, okay?"
"He tried to bathe with me without permission!"
"He probably didn't even see you. Trust me, Ryoga's kind of dense where women are involved. And coming from me, that's saying something."
Siobhan fumed but nodded and returned to her bath. On his way back to the kitchen, Ranma was interrupted by a knock at the front door. Out of sheer habit, he answered it. Little Urvasi and Glatisant stood there expectantly.
"Good morning to you, Ranma! Here we are, as I promised."
"Indeed, Lightbringer. Good morrow. How fare you?"
"Uhm...well enough, I guess. Listen, ya might wanna reschedule. We just had..."
"An incident," Glatisant grinned. "I heard the Nightfang's cry two blocks from here. Which of your many complications was it?"
"The pig."
"Ah, yes. Tendo Akane's one true fiancée! What did he do, walk in on the Nightfang in her bath?"
Ranma looked at her carefully for a long moment. The strange woman gave no hint of sarcasm, guile, innuendo, or foresight in her expression. That, he decided, meant that somehow she must have known....
"Good guess."
"Assemble the mortals, if you would please. I would like to speak with them. You, the Eclipse, and the Nightfang are excused if you wish."
"The who?"
Urvasi coughed. "She has not yet embraced her legacy, Mother..."
"Oh. Very well, then. The mortal you call Nabiki. She is excused from this tedious and unpleasant business." Glatisant waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "But of course you are also invited to sit in, if you wish. There may be some small entertainment value in it for you three."
So it was that breakfast at the Tendo's that morning had a few hangers-on. Urvasi gleefully accepted a place beside Nabiki, and Glatisant and Siobhan flanked Ranma. P-chan sat in Akane's lap, and the first sign that all was not normal was that Ranma seemed utterly unconcerned about the porcine interloper.
"Thank you all for coming," Glatisant beamed. "We'll be announcing a few changes to the workgroup organizational chart for the coming fiscal quarter. First of all, Ranma and Siobhan will be moving to a new account..."
Urvasi shot her mother a withering glare.
"Really, Mother! Must you be so deliberately obscure? They don't understand a word you're saying."
"No? Well, I was hoping to soften the blow, but...if I must be direct, I must. Ranma, do you remember that I offered you a place of your own, to protect and serve, possessed by right?"
"Yes."
"It is ready for you. Since you are no longer bound to this inauspicious place, I invite you and Lady Siobhan to take possession of your manse at once."
"Now see here..." Soun and Genma jumped to their feet, preparing to defend the arrangement. Glatisant ignored them, waving her hand in a complex and dismissive gesture that somehow robbed both fathers of their voice and movement
"Lady Nabiki, you are welcome to join them. I made certain that there is room enough for guests. Of course, since your spouse has not yet appeared..." The strange woman shrugged and smiled. "You may choose to remain here, at the center of the madness, whichever you might prefer. I would advise against it, but the choice is yours."
"Why would I want to move out?"
"Let me see. Ah, yes. What do you think your little sister will do when she learns her little pet pig is really..." Glatisant suddenly stopped herself, coughed a few times, and grinned. "Pardon me. That would have been far too abrupt."
"P-chan is really what?" Akane demanded.
"Not what he seems," Urvasi piped up. "And far more favored than he ought to be, under the circumstances." The little girl did not bother to keep the distaste and disapproval out of her voice. "Perversion and betrayal, mortal, are not where you so eagerly place them."
"You're giving her to Ryoga?" Ranma fought a sudden impulse to laugh. "I suppose that's just. He will survive her cooking, and she seems to like him. Let it be done. Now he can never say I haven't given him something good."
"What? You can't just..." Akane spluttered and tried to summon an argument that wouldn't involve a mallet.
"Cast you aside? Why not, Akane? You've never trusted me, accepted me, or listened to me. For that matter, the only reason you seemed to accept my presence was as a punching bag or a test subject for your cooking." Ranma spoke casually, no hint of anger or hurt in his voice. In ways, that matter of fact tone just made it worse. "I won't bother listing all the times you broke off our engagement over misunderstandings. The simple truth is that you are not willing to trust and support me. So...yes, I am casting you aside. Or rather, I am returning you your freedom. I wish you well, Tendo-san."
"Ranma no baka!"
Cradling the squirming and squealing object of contention in her arms, Akane suddenly rose and dashed out of the living room, chanting her usual mantra to hide her tears.
"Real smooth, Ranma-kun," Nabiki smirked. "Why do all the women find you so attractive?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Why do people still accept promises that Genma makes?" He stood and stretched. "I'll just go and get my things. They're in the dojo anyway. So, do what ya gotta do, Glatisant."
"Don't mind if I do," the strange woman grinned ferally. After Ranma left, oblivious to the hungry looks his wife gave him, Glatisant snapped her fingers...and restored Soun's voice, if not Genma's.
"How dare you do this! The arrangement is a matter of family honor! Ranma must marry Akane!"
"Must he. Tell me, man most mortal, how you restrain one who has slain a god before your very eyes? How do you plan on enforcing your will on him now that he is again in his power?"
"It is a matter of honor."
"Yes, so you say. But has not this," she indicated Genma, "also promised him to others? In bad faith, no less. And all those promises are equally binding...on Ranma. "
"Only the Tendo arrangement is valid! Ranma's mother supports it."
"So what? She also abandoned her only child to the care of an utter moron. Her opinion in this matter carries surprisingly little weight."
"She is his mother!"
"Of course she is. So what you are saying is that in spite of their feelings, in spite of all evidence against the match being a good one, you would force one as powerful as he into a marriage that would cause nothing but pain and resentment...because you want it to happen?"
Soun opened his mouth to react. And shut it again. And thought.
"But...they...nothing but pain and resentment?"
"You would have done far better to allow him time to know your daughters before forcing him to make a decision. Better still, you ought have allowed him the choice you promised. That would have been the honorable thing to do." Glatisant smiled suddenly. "But it matters no more! A Solar bound to a Mortal? Don't be ridiculous! She is not for him. You might as well affiance my lovely daughter to one of your two remaining children."
"Oh my!"
"Mother!"
"You see? They sound like the perfect couple already. Kasumi obviously loves small children, and Urvasi adores her elders. Their love life may be a bit strained, but it's the principle of the thing that is important, and in any case their feelings have no weight in the matter. Plus they will both become natural allies, despising us all for pushing them together in such fashion. Let us agree to unite our families thus, Tendo Soun!"
With a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he had heard so much of that disturbing line of reasoning once before, Soun took the path of least resistance and fainted to the distant sounds of Glatisant's mad laughter. Urvasi simply hid her face with her hands and moaned in annoyance and disgust. Kasumi sat, rooted in shock. Nabiki glanced at Siobhan, who was idly cleaning her fingernails with a knife.
"Did you get all that," she asked the Lunar.
"Yes."
"So, if I ask you to sum up on my behalf..."
Siobhan grinned and held out her hand in the same 'give me money' gesture so familiar to Nabiki. The Tendo girl sighed.
"How about we take it out in a trade of services rendered?"
"Oh?" The large woman raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Are you that good?"
"What?"
"I accept, should he permit it."
Nabiki copied Urvasi's grumbling. "Am I missing something here?"
"You just offered to bed her," Urvasi said with a resigned air. "She thinks you're offering to sleep off your debt."
"No! No, no, no! You've got the wrong idea...I'm not...I mean, no offense but...oh, damn." Nabiki repeated the face-plant, wondering if this was how Ranma felt whenever events got too fast for him to keep up.
Kasumi got unsteadily to her feet and returned to her one and only refuge, the kitchen. Urvasi watched her go, a slight frown marring her youthful features.
"That was unfair of you, Mother. Kasumi simply did not deserve that, not even in jest. And I did not deserve to be so used by you, not for so base and mean a point."
"True...but as Lord Ranma says, she did reject him almost out of hand. A small punishment for a small sin is just, is it not? And you know better than to take me seriously on such matters." She turned back to Nabiki. "So. Will you come with us, Solar?"
"Can I think about it? I mean..." Nabiki gestured at Siobhan. "I don't want to seem forward or be misunderstood or..."
"You want him? Earn my permission in bed." The Lunar suddenly roared with laughter, swatted Nabiki on the shoulder, and got to her feet, calling after Ranma.
"She's only joking," Urvasi mumbled. "So, we've humbled the master of the house, given the princess her piglet, given the servant girl a month's nightmares, and embarrassed the Quill of Heaven in her lair. It has been a busy morning. What to do now, Mother mine?"
"Oh, I should like a few words with this fat fool, here. Urvasi, return to the shrine. Lady Nabiki, I do apologize for disrupting your breakfast. I should like to speak with you further, if you would care to accompany my daughter and the Nightfang there? And Lord Ranma will be attending school. You needn't worry about him."
"I'm not. Akane is another story."
Glatisant shrugged. "Suit yourself. But I would tell you to leave them be, princess and piglet both."
"What does P-chan have...wait. That was Ryoga I saw hitting the pond! P-chan is..."
"They deserve to be happy in their mutual misery, don't you think?" Glatisant smiled warmly. "I am only ever cruel to be kind, Crowned Sun. Their union will be far happier than one your father had planned for her."
Nabiki shook her head. "You mean you know what will happen?"
"Close enough. But that's another time, and another talk. Go comfort your sister."
Shaking her head, Nabiki went...and tried to ignore the muffled screams from the living room as Glatisant 'discussed' matters with Genma. This was shaping up to be a day worth taking off, just to stop the weirdness from overwhelming her.
End Chapter Seven.
To Be Continued...
Tune in next time when Ucchan gets an offer she might refuse, Cologne has a bad day, and Nabiki levels up.
Author's Notes.
Sorry it's a bit late. Real Life happened. In compensation, this is about twice as long as originally envisioned. Next up, the other side story (which might just end up as the next chapter, now that I think about it).