CHAPTER 5: SPEECHLESS

Buffy was speechless after Olivander's announcement. She didn't expect anyone to recognize her that quickly. She had been gone for eleven years and didn't think she looked that much like her fifteen-year-old self.

"How did you...?" Buffy finally sputtered out, the friends beside her equally astonished.

"Know?" Ollivander finished. "My dear girl, you cannot hide behind a blue colour. The eyes are the windows to the soul. It is how I read people to find the wand best for them. Of course it doesn't always work well, as I'm sure you remember," he said, referring to when Buffy had waved almost every wand in the store before finding the right one.

"But how can it be you?" he asked again, looking her over just to be sure.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

Olivander paused a moment, considering, then said bluntly, "You're dead."

Buffy blinked, uncertain if she had heard correctly, but afraid that she had. "I'm sorry?"

"You are supposed to be dead. There was a body and a funeral sixteen years ago."

"I don't... I don't understand," Buffy said, lost and confused. Everything seemed to be unraveling. Her return to the wizarding world wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

"The night the Death Eaters attacked your house, you were taken and killed. Alastor Moody brought your body back. You were dead," Olivander explained, confused by her confusion.

"No," Buffy said, sure of at least one thing. "Moody saved me; he brought me to America. He was supposed to..." Buffy's eyes widened with realization as she trailed off. "Moody was supposed to kill me. Obviously he'd have to fake my death, otherwise I'd be found. I can't believe it!"

"Wait, I'm sorry," Giles interrupted, catching what the others had not. "Did you say sixteen years ago?"

"Yes, which is very curious. You don't look over twenty-five."

"I'm twenty-six," Buffy said slowly. "Why would I be dead for sixteen years if I'm only twenty-
six? It's not possible."

"What year is it again?" Giles asked, prepared to do calculations. He had lost track of time since the battle with The First. So many things had happened that the date seemed unimportant.

"1993," Willow supplied. Olivander started at her. "What?"

"It's 1999."

Now it was the Scooby Gang's turn to stare.

"It's the thirteenth of September, 1999," Olivander reiterated.

Xander started laughing. "That was a good one. For a second I actually believed you. 'It's 1999,'" Xander said in a obviously fake British accent. "Nice trick to play on the stupid Americans."

"Xander," Willow chided quietly. "We didn't even say anything before. How would he know we're Americans?"

"But it's not 1999. How could we have lost five years of our lives?"

Olivander quickly disappeared and reappeared without any noise. He was carrying with him a newspaper dated the thirteenth of September 1999.

"The First couldn't do that, could he?" Buffy asked doubtfully.

"I suppose it's possible, but it doesn't make much sense," Giles said thoughtfully. "What does It have to gain?"

"How about making my life more miserable than it already is? It does seem to have a big problem with me," Buffy said.

"Yes, but I doubt that it could do something that drastic; all of us are affected." No one really questioned Olivander's statement. Strange things had happened to them before and though he seemed creepy, they had no reason not to trust him.

Trapped in his chair with bodies taking up every bit of space in the small room, Giles could only take off his glasses and massage his eyes.

"We must be missing something," Willow said, fidgeting.

"Yeah, five years of our lives," Xander said, leaning against the door.

"But we didn't actually lose it," Buffy said. "I mean," Buffy continued quickly, sending a quick glare at Xander before he could retort, "It's not like we woke up one morning and were five years older. We still look like we think we should."

"So somehow time must have stood still, causing the rest of the world to go faster," Willow said, excited that she might have solved part of the mystery.

"That's a possibility," Giles admitted, chewing lightly on the end of his glasses.

"Or, something else might have happened," Buffy said.

"You sure have a lot of theories," Xander said, fake-suspiciously. "You didn't hocus pocus us did you?"

Buffy looked at him innocently and held up her hands at his accusing finger. "I'm clean."

Everyone turned, as much as they could in the cramped space, to look at Willow, who opened her eyes wide in surprise.

"I didn't do it!" she cried indignantly, twisting her hands in front of her. "I think," she added meekly.

"No, I don't think one person could be strong enough to stop time for five years," Giles said.

"That's what I was thinking. But what if..." Buffy trailed off to find a better way to approach the topic. "In different dimensions, time travels at different rates. In some demon dimensions, one day on Earth is a hundred years down there." Buffy was thinking back on the time she had been in a demon dimension, courtesy of Ken, a demon luring runaways and using them as a source of labour. And she also thought of Angel, and when his three months away from her had been several hundred years down in hell.

Thinking about angel made Buffy pause. Just days ago, she had told Angel that she was cookie dough, waiting to finish baking. She had pretty much told him that she would come back to him.

But that was before she found out who she really was. Some people say that the past shapes who one shall become. She was a different person that she used to be. She had different memories that shaped who she was and now she knew the truth. There wasn't a huge change between her old self and her newer self, but there was a difference. She had been though a lot, and her experiences had changed her. She wasn't the same girl she once thought she was.

She had been so wrapped up in her new memories that she didn't even tell him how the battle went. For all he knew, she was dead in the middle of the crater, assuming someone else didn't tell him. She had hopped on the first plane out of town, without a thought to him.

She did love Angel, there was no doubt about it. Some part of her would always love him, but a larger part of her heart belonged to someone else.

Even after all these years, all the experiences she had, both good and bad, just thinking about Sirius made her heart beat faster. Yes, she had just gotten her memories, and old feelings, back and they seemed so strong and recent, but they were fading a little. Buffy kept replaying everything in her mind, trying to hold on to as much as she could.

Logically, she knew that they were both different people now. They were older, and as far as she knew, he was probably married with kids. However, her heart wouldn't listen to her head.

Every time she thought about him, a pleasant tingle ran up her spine and made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Her stomach would flutter and her heart would beat a little faster.

She had hope that there was a chance for them to get back together. If for nothing else than just to get to know each other again. Heck, maybe she'd end up hating him.

Buffy snorted softly at the possibility that she could ever hate Sirius. It was a ludicrous thought.

"Let's say time stood still for us," Anya began, pulling Buffy out of her thoughts. "We wouldn't ever be able to figure out how or when it happened, because nothing would have actually happened to us. One second we might have been talking, then we'd be frozen for five years and then we'd pick right back where we left off, never noticing the change."

"No, I don't suppose we would," Giles said with a sigh, replacing his glasses and running a hand tiredly through his hair. "However, I fully intend to follow up on this matter. I'd like to know how, and why, we have gotten five years behind the rest of the world."

"Maybe it's the wizarding world that's ahead, not us that are behind," Willow suggested.

"Nope," Xander said, indicating a battered ticket stub he pulled from his jeans' pocket. "The airplane ticket says it's 1999."

"In any case, we'll look into the matter later. W''ve kept this man waiting long enough," Giles said, referring to the forgotten shopkeeper.

"You aren't a bother," Olivander said, dismissing the idea. "I don't have anywhere to be, and I find your predicament quite curious." Ollivander turned to look at Buffy. "I believe I have something of yours, my dear." He turned around and slinked toward the far corners of the shop, out of her sight.

He came back soon after, just as quietly as he had left, brushing off the top of a very dusty box' It was a thin, narrow, brown box that looked a little worn. Cobwebs were stuck to the sides.

"Here you go," Olivander said, opening the lid and offering her the box.

Buffy stood transfixed. Her fingers slowly rose up, tracing the rim of the box, not daring to touch the narrow piece of wood inside.

"How did you get my wand?" Buffy finally asked in a soft, awestruck voice.

"It was very curious. After your funeral, Albus Dumbledore came to me with your wand. He told me to keep it, as another customer might buy it. I believe he thought a relative of yours might take to it eventually. He saw no need to destroy such a powerful wand."

Buffy's fingers gently reached forward, stroking the smooth surface.

"Go ahead," Ollivander prodded with a knowing smile on his face.

Buffy glanced up briefly, the first time since he came back with the box, and met his eyes. Her fingers then curled around the wand, lifting it out of its package. A rush of warmth flooded through her and Buffy closed her eyes at the illustrious feeling. She waved her hand and a streak of red sparks shot out of the tip.

Buffy sighed happily at the well-known weight in her hand. "It's good to be back."

"It's a pleasure to have you back Miss Potter," Ollivander said, clasping her hand.

"So that's your wand?" Xander asked, slightly disappointed. "I was thinking of something a little, I dunno, cooler."

"Make no mistake. This is a very powerful wand. It's not to be taken lightly. Willow and a phoenix tail feather, a high-quality combination."

"Willow's a part of the wand?" Anya asked, confusion marring her features.

"No, Willow is the wood it is made out of," Buffy clarified. She turned to her best friend, a redhead like Lily, and said, "I guess it was meant to be!"

A smile rose on Willow lips, lighting her whole face up. "Yep! And don't ever doubt it!"

"Never," Buffy said seriously, shaking her head. She turned to Olivander and thanked him profusely. He wouldn't accept any money, as she had already paid for it once.

As they were leaving the dusty shop, stepping outside onto the brightly lit road, Buffy thought of one more thing she had to ask of the old man.

"Could you not tell anyone I'm back? Not even Dumbledore. It's kind of a surprise," Buffy said.

Olivander nodded in understanding. It would be quite a shock when the wizarding world found out about her return. She would let it be known when she was ready. "Of course," he said. "Your secret is safe with me."

Buffy smiled and stepped out of the shop one last time. She paused momentarily, letting her eyes adjust to the drastic lighting difference.

"Did you ask him where you could find James?" Willow asked.

"No, he wouldn't know. He's not a big gossiper. I don't know if he's ever even come out of his shop."

"So, where to next?" Xander asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I want to get an owl," Buffy said. "It'll make communication easier later." Buffy led the group down the cobbled path, glancing through the windows of all the different shops they passed on the way to the Owl Emporium.

Buffy should have known better. She should have prepared them, warned them, done something. Unfortunately, she had forgotten. It had been a while since she had been to Diagon Alley, and she didn't even think about Flourish and Blotts.

When they passed the bookstore, Willow became an excited, chattering mess. She could barely form a coherent word, let alone a whole sentence. Giles seemed transfixed, slowly walking towards the shop, as if pulled by an invisible line.

"Why don't you go browse in the bookstore and I'll meet you back here once I've finished buying my owl," Buffy said, amused at their behavior.

Willow nodded and went off after Giles. Through the window they could see stacks of books lining every wall, from floor to ceiling. This was a wizarding bookstore, full of texts that would not be readily available elsewhere. Giles could find some books to replace those he lost when Sunnydale caved in and Willow could find almost anything she wanted. They'd be happy to stay there forever.

Buffy went off with Xander and Anya, who weren't big book people. They were mostly quiet on the walk to the Emporium, just absorbing the new sensations, people and things, of the world around them.

People were bustling around, many carrying bags full of purchases from the variety of stores lining the road. A mother was sitting with her daughter eating ice cream. Two middle-aged witches were walking down the street, chatting about the days' events. A man with long blonde hair, who looked vaguely familiar to Buffy, walked out of the Apothecary, carrying a full bag of supplies.

Soon, the trio reached Eeylops Owl Emporium. Buffy pushed open the door to the shop, and was once again momentarily disoriented while her eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness.

In that moment, something fluttered by her and rested on her shoulder, startling her. When she regained her sight, her eyes widened in surprise.