Disclaimer: I don't own anything KoH related; movie rights belong to 20th Century Fox and the great Sir Ridley Scott. Although I wish I owned Balian!
Ch. 15: Reconciliation
Nevasaiel: Sibylla is just hurt that Balian asked her to leave her out of such an important decision. But she should've trusted his reasoning and not made such a big deal about it. However she probably had a suspicion that Balian was going to put his life on the line. If you were married to Balian and were carrying his child, would you want him to put himself in mortal danger?
Smithy: Well, Balian certainly wants to kick Guy's butt I'm sure! You are right, their agreement was for the best and Sibylla needs to realize it, even if she doesn't approve.
RedCloudPhoenix: Ha, I gotcha! I always do the dream thing to fool and confuse my readers, it is just so fun. I doubt our lovely couple can stay mad at each other for long…
LadyExcalibur: Nope sorry, not giving you Balian…he's mine, my precioussssssss
Eliza: Aw, thank you so much; you are too kind. I always love new reviewers! Don't worry, Balian can handle himself quite well while sword fighting, but of course now that he is injured who knows just how well he'll do? But take heart, he is not a coward as Paris was. He is our valiant knight, who is willing to give his life for the sake of peace.
Sibylla PoV:
I'd long since finished crying, yet Balian's heated words still stung from our earlier exchange. Laying on what seemed to be a spare cot, I regretted yelling at Balian to leave me alone. I've never snapped at him before; my pregnancy must be affecting my mood.
Finally I'd simmered down enough to notice that someone had left a beautiful crimson gown hanging in the back of the tent. Tears welled in my eyes again as I was touched by this lovely gesture that our 'enemy' had made.
Quickly stripping off what was left of my soiled black dress, I longed for a hot bath. Shaking my head, I tried to put thoughts of such luxuries out of my head as I pulled on the gown. It was a tad long, but otherwise hugged my figure in all the right places. Who was the gown's previous owner? Saladin's sister perhaps? My anger flared when I remembered hearing the news that she'd been killed along with all of the other Muslims traveling with her caravan. It all comes back to Guy and Reynald, and how they've slaughtered innocents without any remorse only to gain power for themselves. Just as I began to rake my fingers through my hair in a hopeless attempt to detangle my long brown tresses, Balian entered the tent. My heart leapt with joy at the sight of my husband as I went to meet him.
"Sibylla, I'm so sorry," he said emphatically. "I realize now that I must've sounded so harsh when…" I held a finger to his lips.
"No, it is I who should apologize," I told him. "I shouldn't have protested when you asked me to leave the tent – that probably didn't leave the best impression on the Muslims." He gave me a wry smile, visibly relieved that I wasn't still angry with him.
"No it didn't leave the best impression, but you didn't cause any permanent damage." Taking hold of his callused right hand, I gently squeezed as I explained why I'd been so mad at him earlier.
"…You truly hurt me when you ordered me to leave; it was if I'd been punched in my stomach." Balian caressed my cheek with his free hand.
"Sibylla, I swear on my knight's honor I didn't mean it like that. How could those Muslims consider me to be a worthy ally if I couldn't even control my own wife? You know I would never dream of doing so in any other circumstance." What he says makes complete sense.
"Oh, I've been such an idiot," I moaned. "I should've realized you didn't mean those words. It's just that the thought of you treating me as a submissive and weak wife makes me feel physically sick." I tried to turn away from him to hide my tears, but he gently pulled me back towards him.
"It's alright, my sweet one. You must be exhausted; remember you've only just been rescued from your kidnapping." He placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Still, that's no excuse for my yelling at you to 'get out'," I said, wiping my eyes yet for the umpteenth time that week. "I wish I could retract that outburst, for I don't want you to ever leave my sight again." Balian sighed in amusement.
"I'm not sure that you mean that, love. I can guarantee that we'll have disputes from time to time during our years of marriage. But that's normal. Try and remember that even though I might be upset with you at the time, deep down I still love you and that in time we'll always be able to work out the problem." I sniffed, touched by his little speech.
"Do you forgive me?" I whispered shakily. Balian enveloped me in his strong, tender embrace and I lay my weary head on his shoulder.
"Of course. Not that you really need to be forgiven – I suspect that your pregnancy might've had something to do with your angry outburst."
"You are right, sometimes I do not feel like myself. However, I still can't condone this wild life-threatening scheme of yours." Balian looked at me with pleading eyes.
"My love, I have the chance to set things right again, to safeguard the helpless, to permanently bring peace to Jerusalem. If there was ever a task that I must do, it is this."
"So Guy has accepted your challenge?" Balian told me that not only had Guy agreed to fight, but he demanded for it to take place tomorrow morning.
"Please Balian, do not fight," I begged as I hugged him tightly. "I am so scared; scared that I might lose you." My husband effectively silenced my ardent protests, with his sweet kiss. Savoring the moment, I despaired that today would be the last that we spent together. He gently cupped my chin with his hands.
"Sibylla, you of all people should know that I cannot just stand by and watch perhaps the only chance for peace in Jerusalem slip by. I would always wonder if I could've made a difference, if I could've stopped the looming Saracen attack on the city." Blinking back tears, I gave him a small nod that I finally understood. Balian gave me a tiny smile in return. My voice wobbled as I asked him
"What am I to tell our child if their father does not survive tomorrow?"
"You shall tell him or her that I will always love them, and that my death was not in vain. Explain how I fought for the chance for them and their mother to live in peace with the Saracens, and how I tried my damndest to get rid of the cold-hearted tyrant who misused his power." Balian tried to lighten the situation. "But really, Sibylla, it seems that you've already given up on me."
"Of course not!" I said indignantly. "I do have much cause for concern though; you still suffer from the wounds that Guy and his templars inflicted upon you. Tonight, I should ask Saladin to see if he'll let his physicians treat you." Balian looked at me with appreciation.
"I'd forgotten that he had any. Where would I be without you to look after me?" I shrugged and winked at him.
"You would be utterly lost." He offered his arm to me.
"Shall we go to dinner?" I linked my arm in his and we made our way towards the dining tent. On the way, I confessed to Balian how I wished that I had his skill with a blade. When he asked why, I replied with venom,
"So I could bring down Guy myself, and make him pay for all the pain he has inflicted on us, not to mention for the way he abused me during our marriage." Balian nodded in understanding.
In no time, we reached the dining tent and went inside. A mouth-watering display of food beckoned us to the table. Having just finished their evening prayer, Saladin and his men gestured for us to dig in. Balian seemed to have regained his appetite, I noted in relief, as he wolfed down his meal. Near the end of the meal, I finally gathered enough courage to speak to Saladin.
"My lord, I'd like to apologize for my improper behavior earlier; it was not my place to argue." Saladin seemed to accept my apology so I pressed on. "My husband still bears the wounds from our imprisonment at Kerak. Perhaps you could have your physicians take a look at him? That is if you have any to spare," I added quickly, hoping that my request was not too bold. Saladin looked at Balian in consternation.
"You failed to mention that! Guard, fetch two of my best physicians immediately." He looked at Balian intently and asked how much his wounds would affect his fighting skills.
"I can take him," Balian confidently assured him. "Although I probably will tire more easily, and it will take longer for me to bring him down due to my injuries," he relented. By this time, the doctors had arrived and one asked Balian to remove his shirt. Nasir winced as he saw the bruises and scrapes that covered my love's once unmarred skin. The men did all they could; they rubbed an herbal paste over Balian's scrapes that was supposed to help them heal faster. When they learned of my love's impending battle, they advised him to pace himself, so that he could conserve his energy. Finally Balian's wounds had been dressed, and we bid the Muslims a goodnight. As we walked back to our tent, I continued to plague him about the fight.
"…Now, you could pretend to feign exhaustion, or the loss of feeling in one arm. Put any trick that you know into good use tomorrow."
"I will," he told me softly. "Trust me, I hate the idea of leaving you as much as you do. There is so much I have to live for…" He held my hand as we strolled through the Saracen camp under the clear, starlit sky.
"Balian, are you afraid to face him?" I whispered, when we finally came to a rest in front of our tent. "To fight this man that stole your crown and tortured you?" He gazed at me, the stark honesty apparent in his fair features.
"How could I not be afraid? I'm terrified," he admitted. "Guy de Lusignan is one of the best swordsmen in all of Christendom." Balian reached out his arms for me and I melted into his warm embrace. "But I will not allow my fear to control me; in fact I shall use it to my advantage. To fear your opponent in battle is not a bad thing, it helps you respect him. It keeps you focused on the task at hand. At least, that is what my father told me." His warm breath against my cheek sent shivers down my spine.
"Your life is so precious to me, my sweet Balian," I said, as we nuzzled each other. "I love you - so very much." He gazed at me in adoration.
"My lovely Sibylla, my love for you is boundless. It is not even restricted to this earth. No matter what happens, I shall be with you, always." I felt his hands sensually crawl up from the small of my back to my shoulders. His loving ministrations on my taut muscles felt so wonderful that I couldn't suppress small a moan of satisfaction. Guiding us inside the tent, Balian released me, much to my chagrin. Puzzled, I asked him,
"Why did you stop?" His eyes roamed over my body, appreciatively drinking in every curve.
"I stopped because now I can gaze at you uninterrupted in that sinfully tight gown. You look ever so delectable tonight," he complimented me. "Didn't you notice the way I stared at you during dinner?"
"No," I answered truthfully. "But I did notice that your appetite has improved since we left Kerak." He licked his lips at me suggestively.
"You could say that." My pulse quickened as he gracefully moved towards me, like a tomcat stalking its prey. "As much as I love the way that dress looks on you, I'd rather prefer that it came off." Well, two can play that game. I seductively slid the crimson sleeves off my arms but the gown did not fall to the ground, as it was tied in the back.
"Ooh, dear me, this dress doesn't seem to want to come off. I can't seem to reach the back," I said, in a feigned innocent voice. I allowed my gaze to fall on Balian and gave him my most helpless and angelic look. "Good sir, could you tell me where I might find someone to undo me?" From the sparks of lust in his eyes and his heaving chest, it seemed Balian was enjoying my submissiveness, as well as the double entendre that I threw in just for good measure. He strode up to me, and growled,
"Turn around." As his fingers deftly undid the restrictive ties, I couldn't help but feel his bulge straining against me. I never knew acting like this would turn him on so quickly. Suddenly feeling bold, I bucked my hips backwards, and he gave a loud yelp. The dress fell away from my anticipating body as he undid the last tie. Balian turned me around to face him, and I gave a little gasp when I felt the heat of his gaze. My tomcat had caught his prey, and now he was going to devour it.
"Now, undress me," he commanded, in a soft voice that held a dangerous tint. Hmm, this must be his payback for my refusal to obey him earlier today. Not that I mind.
"Yes, my lord," I said meekly, complying with his demands. Soon we were both unclothed. My husband's rock solid body never ceased to amaze me each time we coupled, and I doubted that it ever would. He had the svelte figure of a warrior, yet he had never been anything but gentle with me when we made love. I vaguely noted that the wound dressings were still in place. Stepping forward, Balian closed the distance between us with a searing kiss. I hesitantly returned his affections, which made him kiss me even more fiercely than before. I felt the pressure of his engorged member on my stomach as he firmly held my naked form to his. Stopping for breath, Balian looked around wildly and his gaze settled on the small, inadequate cot. Grunting in frustration, he released me and threw the pillow onto the floor. Still panting, I said,
"Balian, I-I don't think w-we should…"
"Hold your tongue," he advised in a dangerously low timbre. "You will obey your husband and master." I nodded, confused to why I was enjoying our little role-playing. Without warning he scooped me into his arms and gently grazed his lips against mine. He then gently lay me down upon the dirt floor, with my head resting on the feather pillow.
"Now, spread your legs for me, Sibylla," he asked, no commanded was more like it. A little gasp escaped my lips as I saw how ready he was to take me. I slowly spread my legs for him, giving my husband a view of my inner lips, which were already wet. The sight of my sexily dominant Balian towering over me was enough to drive me insane.
"Now what would you like me to do with you, hmm?" He ran a finger across my sensitive core and I whimpered for mercy.
"Balian, please!" I begged.
"Balian, please what?" He gave me a teasing smirk, one that I was helpless to wipe off his face.
"Make love to me, Balian!" I wantonly moaned, not caring if that meant that he won our little game.
"Oh yes!" He groaned, sinking into me with one swift stroke. I involuntarily clinched around him, which caused him to move inside of me.
"Oh God, Balian, harder!" I cried out with sweet agony, wanting my release. He obliged by thrusting deeper and faster as we both writhed in our mutual pleasure. Just when I thought no more pleasure was possible, I felt Balian's hands tweak my sensitive nipples. I could not think, I could only feel him. Slowly, we made our way to our inevitable climax.
"Sibylla!" My love's voice called out at his highest moment of pleasure, which in turn allowed me to come. There is nothing more erotic than having your lover call out your name in the throes of passion. We soared through the heights of bliss together and came down slowly. Once our breathing slowed to normal, Balian thanked me for fulfilling his domineering fantasy. When I told him that I'd enjoyed it as well, his face broke out into a genuine smile.
"I'd always wanted to try that with a woman as I've heard playing games can add to one's experience. But I'd never had the courage to do it until now," he confessed, looking at me shyly. "But after today, I figured this was as good a time to try as any." I chuckled and slipped back into his arms.
"You should've mentioned it sooner. Just as long as you keep treating me as your equal in the world when the time permits and as long as you promise this will never leave our bedroom, I don't see why we can't, er, play games." I smiled mischievously at him. He assured me that he'd never share our bedroom secrets with anyone.
"You are every inch my equal, Sibylla, and in some ways, my superior. Don't you ever forget that," he said in all seriousness. "Sleep well, my love."
"Good night, my Balian." We lay there spooning during the course of the night. Just before I succumbed to sleep's call, I prayed for Balian's safety during his upcoming fight. Please, let him triumph against Guy. I love him so much - he is all I have left.
End Ch. 15