AN: hey, just before I continue on posting, I know that there are some re-posts already, but I just want to recap what happened before I start in on my own continuation. I've asked another who just posted what Malli wrote, she said that I'm free to do this, and that plenty others are doing it as well. The note up in Malli's Bio, well, I don't know if whoever it was found a way to take it down yet, but it said that people are free to continue it if they want, and I was never good at summarizing, period. I mean, I've tried on essays and I always get a low grade on those paragraphs because I put in too little, and I can never get it in sequence, because I remember it out of order, rather, in the order of the parts that I like the best, and I tend to leave boring stuff out. I'm sorry people have a problem with this, but then wait until chapter 37 comes before reading, if you remember it all that well. I'm just...I'm trying to keep this alive. I know it's stupid, but I just lost another person that I was attached to through his music and from stories from mutual friends that we have, and if I can do anything to make someone's memory last, I'll do it. I just feel that this is the way to keep her alive, so this is how I'm doing it, by re-posting and adding my own bits eventually. Just bear with me, my bit will come. Please? And if anyone cares, that Rock Star that died in Ohio on December 8? My aunt's buddy. The one that I was attached to. A great man, a god of guitars, and an awesome friend. I don't care that people say the world is better off without him, he was one of the kindest men that I ever heard of, and a lot of people miss him. I know I do. And for those who think that his brother would have been better off dead, like I've heard? Mayhem, the dead body guard, took a bullet for him. No one does that for a hated person. Think about that. I'm sorry, I don't mean to get defensive, but I've heard people say bad things about good men that died too many times. And that wasn't the point of this, so feel free to ignore it, and just read of if you care to. Flamers, I'll tell you right now, bring it on, I'll argue with you any time you want.
On that cheerful note, On with Malli's noble work.
CHAPTER 7: LOST
"I was just wondering if you knew where I could find him," Buffy said, trying to be casual and hide the anxiety, happiness, and fear in her voice.
"I know where he is. Do you need directions?" the old man asked, thinking she was just another tourist. Over the years, people from all over had come by, asking for directions to the Potters' Memorial. They wanted to pay their respect for the couple that had given their lives, and were the proud parents of the famous Boy-Who-Lived, savior of the wizarding world.
"If you don't mind," Buffy said with a smile. This was it. She was going to see her brother. It had been so long. Buffy could barely contain herself as the gray-headed man scribbled a small map of familiar looking street names.
"It's hidden in the middle of a forest. Once you get there, it's the third row, fourth from the left," he said, handing the paper over.
Buffy grasped the paper, assuming the 'there' the old man referred to was the subdivision. She had no reason to suspect otherwise.
"Thank you," Buffy said, looking at the paper with wide eyes. She was now holding the key to her reunion. Her new life. Or, her old life, depending on how one looked at it.
"My pleasure," the old man replied smiling and handing over the bag of books. Buffy accepted the bag and slowly trudged out of the store, her eyes never leaving the sacred paper.
The fear she was feeling was being replaced with excitement. She was going to see James again. Her older brother!
The one who taught her the rules of their favorite game, Quidditch. The one who let her play with his friends every once in a while. Who came to her aid and never left her side after a particularly vicious quidditch game landed her in the hospital wing for two days. Who always defended her at school and looked out for her, scaring away the Slytherin jerks (especially Severus Snape), not that she needed help with that.
He even got into a huge fight with his best friend because he didn't want his little sister heartbroken.
Buffy smiled gently at the memory of her brother chasing Sirius around the house, and at the yelling that ensued. James yelling at Sirius, asking him in the hell he thought he was doing, Sirius defending himself, and Buffy stuck in between, yelling at them both to stop yelling. Eventually tempers died down and James grew to accept their relationship, although it didn't mean he liked it.
Sirius knew, best friend or not, if he hurt Buffy, then he'd wish he'd never even met James.
Lost in her thoughts as she walked out of the bookstore, she was surprised when the bag of books was unceremoniously ripped from her hands.
Buffy glanced up from the paper and was preparing to attack an unknown enemy when she heard Willow's voice complaining.
"Why is there only one bag? Did you put some back?" Willow asked hysterically. She began rifling through the contents of the bag, determined to find what Buffy had shelved. "I needed all of those! Some of them were for you! How could you just..."
Buffy finally found her voice as her brain caught up to her body. "Chill, Will. I bought all the books that were in the baskets. By the way, I expect to be paid back for those. Who knew books could be so expensive?"
"There's no way you bought all of them. The bag's not big enough!"
"It's magic, Will," Buffy said slowly, amazed at her friend. "You know that thing we do?"
"Oh, right," Willow said sheepishly, concluding her search through the bag.
"So what've ya got there Buff?" Xander asked, noticing the paper in her hand. "Did you get a number with those books?"
"Nope, I got an address," Buffy said. "Well, not an address exactly. More like a map."
"Well," Willow said uncertainly. "Isn't that going a little fast? I mean you just met him..."
"He just wants you for sex; that's obvious," Anya said bluntly.
"I don't remember seeing too many guys in there, and you weren't even inside very long," Willow continued her ramble with a thoughtful frown. "I mean, the only guy you could've met was the cashier."
"You mean the old man?" Anya asked. "But he had to be over eighty."
"I know you have a thing for older guys, Buff, but don't you think an eighty year old man who actually looks his age is pushing it?" Xander asked good-naturedly.
"It's a map to my brother's," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh," Willow said, and everyone was quiet for a minute, absorbing the new information
"Yeah," Buffy replied quietly, once again looking at the rough map she was holding.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Xander asked, clapping his hands.
Buffy looked up at Xander and a smile grew on her lips, the first real smile Xander had seen since they brought her back from Heaven. Even before that.
"Absolutely nothing," Buffy said.
Xander knew that they had done the right thing in coming here. Even if she hadn't seen him in over a decade, he was still family. The only family she had left. He had missed that smile, the way her whole face lit up, and he could just tell that she was happy.
Happiness like that was hard to come by in their lives, especially for her. As one of her best friends, it was his duty to make sure that she was happy; that she had enough will to fight another day. Lately he'd been lacking in his department.
So he held out his arm, and addressed Buffy. "After you, my lady," Xander joked.
"Thank you, kind sir," Buffy joked back with a curtsey and a giggle.
Willow and Giles exchanged startled looks at Buffy's happy behavior. A real smile and a giggle?
"Well, let's go," Willow said with a smile of her own.
Buffy gently took a hold of Xander's arm and they led the group back to the Leaky Cauldron.
As they entered the dimly lit pub, Buffy saw Tom by the behind the bar, right where she had left him. "Hi Tom," she said with a cheerful wave and smile. Tom gave a nod and a small smile back, still unsure exactly who she was, but thought it was rude to ask.
The group moved quickly though the pub, as they wanted to avoid any questions.
"So, should we walk or get a cab?" Xander asked as they stepped back onto the busy street of London.
"Cab!" Buffy said, noticing a cab coming their way, and she released Xander so that she could wave down the cab.
"That was fortunate," Giles said. "But will we all fit into one cab?"
"Of course," Xander said. "But you should probably sit shotgun. The three girls can sit with me in the back." Xander wrapped an arm around Willow's shoulders, and the other around Anya's. "Oh, the fun we'll have."
"I doubt the cab driver would appreciate that," Giles said as he watched Buffy talk to the cab driver from the passenger window.
"He says he can take us," Buffy told them as she turned around. They all piled into the car, throwing their purchases into the trunk.
Buffy, from her place on the left of Xander, who sat with Anya on his lap and Willow on his right, handed the driver the map. "Could you take us there?"
"Not a problem," the driver replied, taking the piece of parchment, and eyeing it curiously for a moment, before he drove on.
The trip wasn't very long and Buffy was grateful. They had tried to make some small talk, but they couldn't talk about much in front of the muggle driver. It mostly consisted of:
"You chaps from America then? On vacation?"
"Those three are, but I'm English, and so is she, amazingly enough."
"Right you are. Are you enjoying your stay?"
"Yep. Always wanted to visit the land of the tweed."
"Pardon?"
"Never mind him, he just likes to talk."
"So, have you seen any of the sights yet?"
"No, we've just arrived and haven't had a chance to look around yet."
"What do you recommend? It'd be interesting to get a native's point of view."
"And what am I? A bloody alien?"
"Well, there's a lot to see. I'm sure you'd be interested in the London Bridge, and the Tower of London, and then there's Bath, the place of the old Roman Baths..."
While Willow, Giles and the cab driver engaged in the variety of sight seeing places in England, Buffy stared out the window.
Xander, watching Buffy quietly, squeezed her hand gently. "Almost there."
Buffy turned around and gave Xander a smile. "I know." There was no fear anymore. She was still very nervous, but excitement and happiness were bubbling up inside her and taking up all the room she had. "I was just thinking about when we were kids. Some of the things we did... We were crazy. James especially."
"You were a wild child?" Xander asked.
"Not really wild; more like exceptionally curious and fun," Buffy defended. "James was a prankster. You two will probably get along well."
"I'm not really so much a prankster as I am a jokester," Xander said reflectively.
"That's true. But I was a prankster too, I had to follow in my brother's footsteps, and I still love you."
"You were a prankster?" Xander asked surprised.
"Oh yeah," Buffy chuckled. "I mean, James was definitely worse, but I did pull some very nice tricks. When I wasn't studying, of course," Buffy said slyly.
"You studied?"
"Yep. I liked school. I was top of my class."
"You were at the top of your class?" Xander repeated stupidly.
"I even read!" Buffy said. Seeing Xander's reaction she joked, "You know, you look more attractive with your mouth closed."
At that moment, the cab slowed down and then stopped next to a large patch of woods. "Here you are," the driver announced.
"Thanks," Buffy said, exiting the cab while Giles pulled out his English pounds for payment.
"Um, Buffy?" Willow said as the cab drove away. "Where are we?" They were facing a large patch of forest, with no buildings around.
"It's magic, remember?" Buffy said as she walked towards the tress. "The wizarding community is well hidden from muggles, even though they live amongst each other. It's like the Leaky Cauldron. Just keep your eyes open for an entrance."
They all walked into the woods, looking around for something. Soon they spread out just enough to cover more ground.
"There!" Xander said, pointing at a place in the distance.
"I see a clearing," Anya said.
Every gathered around and they started to walk towards it. Buffy's heart rate picked up in excitement. "This is it," she said with a smile.
Leaves crackled under their feet and the trees began to thin out the closer they walked toward the lighted clearing.
Buffy took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Unfortunately it didn't work. "I'm going to see James!"
The setting sun caused shadows to fall within the forest and the lights from the clearing looked much more inviting.
Large arches became visible, and a big brick wall circled around and out of sight. The name printed on the large gates became visible and Buffy's smile slipped off her face. Confusion marred her features before realization took a hold of her.
Her heart stopped.
"Why are we at a cemetery?" Anya asked.
Buffy slowly walked forward, past the large iron gates. She was on autopilot, slowly putting one foot in front of the other. She had to find out. She had to know.
'Third row, fourth from the left. Third row, fourth from the left.' In her mind, Buffy kept repeating what the old man had told her.
'One,' Buffy thought as her foot passed the first row of headstones.
'Two.' Buffy looked ahead, not seeing anything in front of her.
'Three.' Her feet turned off the grassy path onto the side path on her left.
'One.' She didn't hear the footsteps of her friends following a ways behind her.
'Two.' She didn't hear her friends whispering.
"This is gonna kill her," Willow said. "She was getting better since she got her memory back, but if he's... if he's dead, I don't think she's gonna be able to handle it."
'Three.' Her footsteps slowed down even more.
"Why can't they ever give her a break?" Xander asked.
'Four.' Buffy stopped her feet and turned her body to face the headstone. Her gaze focused once again and she dropped her eyes to the block of granite near her feet.
She read the words she dreaded to see and her breath stopped.
What was left of her heart broke. What was left of the tiny fracture pieces of her tattered heart felt as if they were being grinded into a fine powder using a very heavy sledgehammer.
"No," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
Her friends had caught up to her and saw the name engraved into the granite.
James Potter.
"No," Buffy cried again, a sob rising to her throat. Her hand came up to her mouth, as if she could stifle the cries, but they burst through relentlessly.
Buffy sank to her knees and sobbed, a sound that crushed the hearts of her friends standing nearby. It was the first time anyone had heard her cry, even before she died. She was crying for everything she had lost. Herself, her life, her love, and most of all, she was crying for her brother.
Willow, tears in her own eyes, came forward to hug Buffy and comfort the distressed girl. "Oh Buffy! I'm so sorry."
Buffy grasped onto Willow as if she were her lifeline, but the tears didn't stop. Willow gently rocked Buffy on the dry, hard, and cold cemetery ground.
Xander wrapped Anya in a hug and Giles took off his glasses; none of them could really understand the pain Buffy was in, but they knew she didn't deserve it - how many times had she saved the world? And this is what she got in return? Her family ripped away from her more times than she could count? Buffy was a girl who loved strongly and deeply. She relied on the love of her friends and family to keep her sane in the darkness of her life. She would protect her loved ones with her life, as she had proven time and time again. Losing her loved ones had disastrous consequences.
Buffy had allowed herself to hope. She had thought that for once in her life, things were going to be okay. For the first time since she came back from Heaven, she had been happy; she should have know she was setting herself up for more pain.
It hurt so much! It was inside her, consuming her; it was in her blood, screaming at her from her veins. It was a living thing that never died.
While sobs were still wracking Buffy's small frame, Giles took his watery eyes away for a brief reprieve, and instantly wished he hadn't. He had read the names on the graves to the sides of James' and knew it was only going to get worse for his young charge. To the right, a headstone marked Lily Potter, Buffy's best friend, if he remembered correctly, and presumably James' wife.
On the left stood three more graves bearing the Potter name: two for her parents, and the farthest one away for herself. Elizabeth Potter.
Buffy's gut wrenching sobs were slowing down and she was gasping for the breath she wasn't able to get. Willow was doing her best to calm Buffy down, but it was hard to be a comforter when tears were flowing down her face as well.
Buffy stopped crying, but she didn't get up. Her head was on Willow's lap, and she was curled up in a foetal position. She didn't move and her eyes were staring, unblinking, into the distance.
She looked dead. The only outward sign that she was still alive was her chest laboriously rising up and down. On the inside, she might as well have been dead. She was lost in her own little world of grief. She had lost too much in her life, and losing her brother was the last straw.
"Buffy?" Willow asked, trying to rouse the Slayer.
She didn't move.
"Buffy, please get up," Willow said.
No response.
"The sun is setting and there could be vampires."
Nothing.
"Buffy, please, James wouldn't have wanted you to be like this. He'd want you to be happy."
Not even a blink.
"You still have your parents and Lily, and Sirius, and Remus," Willow tried one last time.
Still nothing.
"Actually, she doesn't," Anya said. "They're right there." Anya had also noticed the surrounding graves and pointed them out to the others.
Willow looked around, confused, and then horrified. "Oh God!"
Anya's statement was the only one to penetrate the deep mist surrounding Buffy's mind. She blinked and sat up, looking around warily at the graves. She could feel more tears rising, but she forced them down.
Lily Potter. 'She must have married James,' Buffy thought.
Marie Potter. 'Mom,' Buffy thought brokenly.
Frank Potter. 'Dad.' She didn't feel anything anymore. They were all dead. Gone. Forever. And they were never coming back.
Unlike her. She could never stay dead, even when she wanted to. She was pulled out of heaven and sucked back into this hell. She had to crawl her way out of her own grave.
Elizabeth Potter. "No," Buffy said, looking at her own tombstone. "No!" She scrambled back until her back was pressing against another slate of cool granite.
"I'm not dead!" She said, shutting her eyes tightly, and clasping her hands over her ears. Images of a coffin appeared in her head. She could still remember being trapped, wanting to be free. She could remember clawing at the lid, which was covered with six feet of heavy dirt.
Dad. Mom. James. Lily. They were all dead, and she didn't get to say goodbye. They were dead and she never knew. They were dead and she didn't save them. She couldn't save them. They were dead and they died, thinking that she was dead.
"No!" Buffy yelled again. "I'm not dead!" This time, the tombstone exploded into a thousand pieces.
Willow yelped and threw up her hands, creating a shield around the five, protecting them from the flying pieces.
Somebody had done this. They had killed her family. It couldn't have been coincidence that the five Potters had died. Somebody was responsible.
Somebody would pay.
Buffy felt anger growing within her and she realized that she wasn't completely empty inside. She was now running on vengeance.
She was going to get revenge.
Buffy stood up. She had a mission now. A purpose. And heaven forbid anyone should stand in her way.
"Buffy?" Giles asked, startled by the look in her eyes, a look he had thankfully not seen in her eyes before. A look he had never wanted to see in her eyes.
"He's going to pay," Buffy said through clenched teeth.
"Who?" Xander asked warily.
"Cornelius Fudge." Her eyes flashed golden.