CHAPTER 8: REVELATIONS
"Fudge?" Giles asked with surprise. "What does he have to do with this?" Giles was worried for Buffy; he had never seen her like this before, and knew that he had to do something to stop her from doing something she'd never forgive herself for. Hopefully he hadn't lost her yet.
"He's responsible for this, I know it," Buffy stated, trying to walk away, but her friends blocked her path.
"You just found out they were... here," Willow said, trying to avoid the word dead. "How do you know he did it?" Willow asked carefully. She wanted to get her friend to think. If she did, maybe she wouldn't go out and do something rash.
"He's the one who ordered me dead," Buffy said. "Don't you think it's a little odd that both my parents died within a few years after my 'death', and then my brother and his wife died soon after that? It seems a little strange that the whole Potter line is wiped out within a matter of years, and he's the one who started it."
"I don't see another Potter," Anya said suddenly, her attention fixed on 'the whole Potter line' part of Buffy's rant.
"What?" Buffy said harshly.
"The headstone says 'beloved mother' and that one says 'devoted father'," Anya said, pointing out the inscriptions on Lily's and James' tombs. "But I don't see another headstone, unless they don't place the babies with their parents, which would be kind of stupid," Anya said.
Buffy turned around surprised. She hadn't gotten to the inscriptions on the headstones. But there it was, 'mother' and 'father'.
"They had a child?" Buffy said quietly, her anger momentarily forgotten as other emotions swept through her. She was on an emotional roller coaster that had lost all control. She wanted to get off. She felt joy that they had a child, sorrow that she wasn't there for them, despair that the child had lost its parents, and once again anger that they weren't able to grow up with their baby. Another family ruthlessly and needlessly torn apart.
"Why?" Buffy asked quietly, anger seeping into her voice. "Why can't anyone ever let people be happy? Is it too much to ask for?"
No one had anything to say; they were a little shocked by Buffy's reaction. They thought that she might be happy or relieved that she had family left. They didn't expect more anger.
"Well, someone's going to have to show him what it feels like to have your loved ones ripped away. Assuming he has any, that is." Buffy turned away from the graves and started to head out, but her friends stopped her once again.
Sure, she could have hurt them to make them move, but her fight wasn't with them.
"Move," she said menacingly.
That didn't mean she had to be nice.
"Buffy, I realize that you're upset..." Giles started to say, but was cut off by Buffy's outburst.
"Upset? Upset? Why would I be upset? It's not like I actually lost anything, right? I mean, I haven't seen my family in ten years, no, sixteen years, and I've been looking forward to seeing them again, ever since I got my memories back, which were taken from me in the first place. And now I found out that all my hope and joy at seeing them again was in vain, because they're not even here anymore. I'm never gonna see them again. But I'm not upset. Why would I be upset?" Buffy finished sarcastically.
"I just meant that this must be a terrible tragedy to you, and I can't even imagine the pain you're going through," Giles said sincerely. "But you must not act rashly. I know you're used to killing the monster that hurts you, but this time you can't."
"Watch me," Buffy said. She tried to push her way through, fairly gently of course, but Xander grabbed her by the shoulders and held her still.
"Breathe, Buffy," he told her gently. "Take a second, take a deep breath in and think about what you're saying." When Buffy didn't say anything he continued. "You're talking about killing a person, possibly several persons. A human being. This is something you've fought against your entire life."
"Revenge isn't as sweet as you might think," Willow said. "Trust me, I know. It eats you up inside and it tears you apart. You'll just fall into the darkness, and you want it to take you because it's easier than fighting. You think it might get rid of the pain, you think it'll help, but it doesn't. The pain never goes away and revenge will only make it worse. I know you. You can't take a human life. It would destroy you."
"You really don't want to do this Buffy," Xander said.
"Yes I do," Buffy said quietly, startling everyone, including herself. She was amazed at how much hate, anger, and pain she had stored up inside her over the years. "I've suffered so much, it's time for someone else for a change."
"It's not your place to deal out justice," Giles said, looking at his Slayer strangely.
"Somebody's got to do it." Everyone was quiet for a moment.
"Where's the Buffy I know and love?"" Xander said. "She would never even think about doing this, let alone seriously talk about it."
"She's dead," Buffy said bluntly. "She died a long time ago. It's just taken you this long to figure it out." Buffy finally pushed past her friends, who were too stunned to stop her.
"You can't do this Buffy!" Willow finally yelled after her. "Look what happened to me! It'll kill you!"
Buffy whirled around angrily. "You don't get it do you?" Buffy said, unknowingly repeating the words Faith once said to her. "I don't care!" she yelled. She waited a second and then, much quieter, she repeated, "I don't care."
In that moment, Giles thought he had truly lost her, but he wasn't about to give up. Not now. Not ever. He still had to play his trump card.
Buffy turned around again and had started to walk off slowly. The difference between her and Faith was that Faith had said those words with a smile. Buffy, on the other hand, was driven by her emotions; in the end she really did care.
"What about your niece or nephew?" Giles yelled at her back.
She stopped, but she didn't turn around.
"Whoever it is doesn't seem to have much family left either," Giles said, trying to play on her family loyalty. She had never done anything to hurt, harm or abandon her family.
He just hoped she wouldn't start now.
"You're an Aunt now Buffy," Willow said, catching on to Giles' train of thought. "I'm sure your brother's child would be delighted to know about you."
"Who wouldn't?" Xander asked with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a little.
"And then there's Sirius and Remus," Willow added. "I didn't see their graves anywhere."
Buffy still hadn't moved an inch.
"You might not know it, Buffy, but you need them. Just like they need you," Giles said.
"We need you," Willow added quietly. Buffy turned around.
"I'm tired of being needed," she said quietly, defeated, her voice reflecting all her emotions. "I'm tired of being strong."
"If being strong means fighting the good fight and not giving in to the evil, that you don't go crazy and hell-bent on revenge, that you stay sane and away from the dark side, then yes, you have to be strong." Willow said, stepping closer to her friend.
"But besides that, we don't need you to be strong all the time," Xander said. "We don't want you to be. We don't need you to hold all of us up."
"That's how everyone falls," Anya said, surprisingly adding some insightful comments. "It's like a house of cards. If you pile them all on top of one card, it's going to topple. But if you lean them all against each other, then it will stay strong." At everyone's looks she said, "I'm over a thousand years old; I get bored."
"We just want you to be Buffy," Willow said.
"The Buffy that always laughed at my jokes, no matter how corny they were."
"The Buffy who came over to my house to study, but all we did was gossip about boys and our prospective lives."
"The Buffy who did what she wanted, ignoring all rules and guidelines I set down."
"The Buffy that cracked a smile every once and a while."
"The Buffy that insisted on having a life outside of slaying."
"The Buffy who fought with everything she had to get what she wanted."
"The Buffy who'd never take no for an answer."
"Who'd never give up."
"Who beat up Willy the Snitch." Everyone looked at Anya again.
Buffy, who had tears in her eyes, gave a small half-laugh, half-sob.
"We want the Buffy who wanted to live, who thought life was a precious gift," Giles said.
"Carpe Diem," Willow whispered quietly, stepping even closer to her friend.
"We want the Buffy that had fun every now and then; the one who'd party after we saved the world," Xander said.
"I miss that Buffy," Willow said, right in front of the blonde.
"I miss her too," Buffy said, her anger mostly melting away, as tears poured down her face and more sobs emerged.
Her best friend held her once again as she cried. But these were different tears. She was crying for the person she once was, and now longed desperately to be. She could never be the same person, she had seen too much and grown up too fast, but she could try and be happy again.
She could try.
At that moment, her phoenix appeared out of nowhere and landed on a headstone nearby. Seeing her owner in such a distraught state, the phoenix opened her mouth and began to sing a beautiful song, warming their hearts and souls.
Buffy's tears stopped as the notes rang in her ears- how could she be so sad or angry with that music playing? It eased all her fears and worries and made her feel calm.
And happy.
"Okay, no more mopey Buffy," Buffy said, drying her eyes once the music stopped.
"I love that bird!" Xander exclaimed. The phoenix gave a happy trill and flew over to his shoulder. Xander rubbed the bird's brilliant red feathers and said, "You can sing to me anytime you want."
"Are you okay, Buffy?" Willow asked her friend.
"I think I will be. It still hurts, but I think I'll be okay," Buffy said.
"Just promise me that you'll come and talk to me, or anybody really, when you need to, okay? No more bottling it up inside."
"I heard it's bad for your chi," Xander interrupted.
"And what do you know about chi?" Giles asked Xander.
"Promise?" Willow asked, directing Buffy's attention away from the bickering men, and back to their previous conversation.
"I promise," Buffy said with a small, tired smile. "Like we used to."
"Right," Willow said. "That's what best friends do. They come to each other when they need help. I guess we've all been pretty bad about that lately, but it's all gonna change."
"Yep," Buffy said with a nod.
"And no more revenge plots?" Willow asked carefully.
"Willow," Xander said, wrapping his arm over Willow's shoulders. "We don't want her to kill anyone, but that doesn't rule out revenge. I mean you gotta get your kicks somewhere right? And I hear that Buffy used to be one bad-assed prankster. Like the old saying goes... 'there's more than one way to skin a cat.'"
"I thought it was kill a cat," Anya said.
"Well, whatever it is, you get my point. I'm sure Buffy can come up with some non-lethal way to have some fun, right Buffy?" Xander asked with a wink.
"I'm sure I can think of something," Buffy said, ideas running through her head. "And when I'm done, he's gonna wish he had never even heard of the Potters."
"What do you say we get out of here?" Xander asked.
"Sure," Buffy said. "I just want to say goodbye," she finished quietly, looking at the graves.
She walked slowly past her friends who looked at her sadly. They watched as she approached the graves and crouched down in a squat. They turned away to give her some privacy.
As they did, they saw a figure walking through the darkness of the cemetery.
"Hey, I have an idea!" Willow said suddenly. "This is a wizard's cemetery, right? Maybe that person knows what happened to the Potters! I mean, it must be fairly big news if the whole Potter family died. And then he can tell us where James's child is!"
"And what if, when we call that mysterious person over here, he pulls out a bunch of fangs and eats us all for supper?" Anya asked.
"Oh come on. It's five against one. And we have a you know what," Willow said, not wanting to say the word Slayer if the person really was a vampire.
"Fine," Anya said. "But if he pulls out some weird mojo, and kills us all, I'm blaming you."
With that, they walked over to the man, who seemed to be heading their way. Upon closer inspection, they could tell he was wearing dark black robes, and had short brown hair. He didn't look too old, and he looked kind of cute, with his bright blue eyes. "What are you guys doing in the cemetery at this time of night?" the man asked once they got closer.
"My friend was just visiting some... friends," Willow said, not wanting to mention that she was related to the Potters. She was supposed to be dead.
"We were wondering if you knew anything about the Potters," Xander said, getting straight to the point.
A quick look of anger passed over the man's face but then it was replaced with a surprised look. "The Potters? What do you want with them?"
"We just want to know how they died. All of them," Willow said.
"You don't know? I thought everyone knew."
"Well, we've been away, in America, for some time now. News doesn't travel that quickly."
"Okay. Where should I start?"
"How about with B.. Elizabeth," Giles suggested.
"Ah, yes. Elizabeth. I haven't heard her name in quiet a while. It seemed like after her death, everyone forgot about her. Except the Potters that is. Their house was attacked, on her birthday if I remember correctly. She was taken by the death eaters and then some Auror found her dead somewhere near her house."
While he was talking, Buffy had walked up behind them. She saw her friends walking over to the man, and wondered what was going on. Now she stood quietly, listening intently. She would find out what had happened.
"Needless to say, the Potters didn't take it too well. The father wanted revenge, and spent all his time looking for death eaters, trying to kill them all. I guess he figured he could make it up to his daughter by making sure no one else got killed. One day, around a year after she died, he got into a sticky situation. He stumbled upon a meeting, and didn't have any backup. He lasted longer than most, but he didn't survive. He did take out several death eaters with him; that man was known for his dueling skills. He got better after her death.
"With her husband gone, her eldest son out of school and entering into the auror academy, and her daughter dead, the mother eventually wasted away with grief. She didn't want to lose her son too, but he was determined to be an auror, as were his friends. I think they all wanted to be aurors mainly because of Elizabeth's death.
"Anyway, eventually Lily and James got married, and then they had a son. Harry," the man spit out the name with disgust, which left the people listening raptly to wonder. "It was well known that the Dark Lord was after the Potters, though not too many people knew why; although, they were a royal pain in the ass for him. So, the Potters went into hiding using the Secret Keeper spell. Only the Secret Keeper could divulge the information of their whereabouts. They knew there was a spy within their circle of friends, but they didn't know which one it was. Unfortunately," the man said with a small smirk, "they trusted the wrong friend and made his Secret Keeper.
"The man betrayed them to the Dark Lord who came to the Potters house on Halloween and killed James and Lily." The man's smile faded off his face. "Amazingly enough, when the Dark Lord tried to kill young Harry, who was only a year old, the spell rebounded off of the child and hit him. Harry became the Boy-Who-Lived, the savior of the wizarding world, and the Dark Lord became naught but a bad memory.
"But, I'll tell you a little secret," the man said with a whisper. "The Dark Lord has risen again, and will soon take over, killing all the mudbloods and muggles until there are only his servants left."
"Who was the spy?" Buffy asked, thinking it was Peter. She felt so much hatred well up inside her at the thought of that little rat betraying her family. She never liked him, and it seemed she was right in her judgments. If only James had listened to her...
"Sirius Black."