Here it is. It's been a long journey, but I'm glad to see it finished. Thanks for staying with me so long. It's greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Wish they were, but they're not.

Chapter 36

Closing Doors

The snow began to fall softly, startling me. I turned to the small girl beside me.

"But I thought it was always warm here. Where is the snow coming from?" I was bewildered. This was the south of France. The mousy-haired girl smiled.

"You're the one making it snow, silly." She giggled and tired to catch a snowflake on her tongue.

"What do you mean I'm making it snow?"

"With your magic." She fixed her wide blue eyes on me. "You've got lotsa magic." Her eyes widened and I could almost see the light bulb above her head. "Do you think you could make it taste like chocolate?" She asked with all the seriousness of childhood and I laughed and pulled her into a hug.

"Maybe, but you'll have to help me." She nodded solemnly then squinted her eyes up tight. Cracking one, she peeked over at me.

"Come on, Myane! Let's make it snow chocolate! I smiled and closed my eyes to help.

A few hours later, I found myself in the garden. It was warm again, thanks to a few heating spells. Betsy had told me Christmas was two weeks away. She had taken a few of the others into town to buy gifts, but I had opted to stay behind and 'rest'. The book of poetry in my lap was uselss. My mind was fixed on Draco. I had seen the pain and betrayal in his silver depths just before I had pulled the door shut behind me…

Something wet dripped onto my hand. I blinked to clear my blurred vision and realized I was crying for the first time since…..

My mind immediately tried to pull me away. I fought against it. I was tired of being broken and running away from this, my anguish and shame. My mind beat against it, but I pushed forward, falling into the memory.

- - (Flashback… and it's pretty graphic) - - -

Harry and I had just met the Weasleys in Diagon Alley. It was the day before term started and Harry was ecstatic to see me. We had seen each other for a week over the summer when we had been invited to the Weasleys for a stay, but that had been almost a month before. His greeting had surprised me by the forcefulness of it. He had literally pulled me into a shop and back behind a shelf where he pinned me to the wall with his body and his kiss. Shocked as I was, I did little to stop him until he began to fondle my breast.

"Harry! What have I told you about that?" I pulled away from his mouth and removed his hand. "I'm not ready to take that step yet." I was angry, but watching his face drop and redden with shame, I relented.

"I'm sorry, 'Mione. But I just missed you so much I kinda got carried away. Can you forgive me?" the look he gave me was full of remorse.

"Of course, Harry. You know I love you too much to stay mad at you." He gave me a boyish grin, the one that made my heart melt. He stole a chaste kiss.

"I love you too, Mione-doll." He grabbed my hand. "Now let's go find Ron."

The rest of the day was filled with laughter. When we returned to the Leaky Cauldron, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went straight to bed, admonishing us to do the same. At some point, Harry tried to convince Ron to do something, to which the red-head agreed warily but good naturedly. Ginny headed up to bed a few moments later, and Ron followed soon after, but not before he shared an indecipherable wink-nudge with Harry. Ten minutes or so after Ron left, Harry jumped as if he had just remembered something.

"Hermione! There's something I need to show you." I yawned.

"Can't it wait til morning?" I asked, but Harry shook his head. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the stairs.

"It's up in my trunk."

"What about Ron?" I yawned again and Harry looked back at me.

"Don't worry about him. He's probly not asleep yet, and if he is, he's a heavy sleeper anyway. It won't take long, I promise." He gave me a pleading look, and I nodded. He flashed me the grin and pulled me the rest of the way up the stairs and down the corridor to his room.

Once we stepped in the room, I was surprised to find both beds empty.

"Where's-" Harry cut off my question with a kiss. I pulled away to demand an explanation when he placed a finger on my lips.

"Shhh, Hermione. There's nothing to worry about." he said softly, kissing me again. As I tried to push him away, he used my momentum to propel both of us onto one of the beds. He began to kiss me hungrily, but gently, and I was momentarily washed away by how good it felt. He had run his fingers under the dege of my shirt and was gently caressing my back. His hands were so gentle, and I had missed him so much I didn't stop him.

Everything got steadily more heated, but I was lost in his hands until he began to tug on my panties. My eyes popped open and I tried to stop him.

"Harry! What are you doing? I told you I wasn't ready for that!" he didn't respond, just kept kissing my neck, trying to draw me back in. "Stop, Harry. I've had enough." He looked up at me.

"Come on, Mione. I want to show you how much I love you." He tried to kiss me but I shoved him away and reached for my shirt. I glared at him.

"No, Harry." I tried to get off the bed, but he blocked me and reached for my hips.

"Come on, it'll feel good." I pushed at him.

"Harry! No! Don't!" He was pulling me closer and his hands were getting rougher. "Please, don't! Stay away! I'll hex you into next week!"

"With what wand?" he snapped back nastily. "Stop being dramatic. I love you and I want to be with you. Come here!" he reached for me again.

"No! I don't want to! Stop!"

"What don't you want to do?" he managed to pin me under him. All those quidditch practices. I was helpless.

"No, Harry! I told you, I don't want to!" My panties had finally been pulled away.

"I heard you, Hermione. In the bathroom at the Burrow." His voice was harsh. "Don't lie. I know you want this."

"I don't want to sleep with you!" Harry ignored my outburst and concentrated on what he was about to do. "Stop! Let me go!" I kept squirming and struggling. "NO, No! Stop! Harry, DON'T!" My insides were suddenly parted and thrust into roughly, like a sharp, hot knife. He was carelessly shredding the most delicate parts of my body and the pain was unspeakable. I kept fighting, trying to hit whatever I could reach. "Let me go! You're hurting me! Stop!" My cries were getting weaker, I felt so helpless. A few minutes later, it was over. He pulled away from me, and I fought the urge to cry or vomit.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I love you, Hermione."

His words were a like a physical blow. The tears of revulsion fell down my cheeks. I was unable to speak.

"Hermione, I-" emotions flickered across his face and his eyes filled with tears as the realization of what he had just done hit him. He fell to his knees on the bed beside me. I pulled something up to cover me. "Oh, Merlin. Hermione, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." he reached for me hand but I yanked it away.

"Don't touch me." I don't know how the words made it through my closed throat. He reached for me again and I scrambled off the bed, reaching for my wand.

"Hermione!" He was at the edge of the bed, but the tip of my wand in his face stopped him.

"Don't touch me." I yanked a robe on and started for the door.

"Hermione! Stop! I'm sorry! Don't go!" he crossed the room and grabbed my arm. I pointed my wand at him and yelled the first curse that came across my lips and ran from the room and the tavern.

- (end flashback) - --

I still wasn't sure how I ended up on the train the next morning, or what I had done the rest of that night, yet it didn't matter. No-

"-Hermione?" I jumped and looked up quickly. One of the others was standing at the back door. "It's a right blizzard out there. Get inside before you freeze to death." He shut the door.

I looked up at the sky and how it was falling down a little bit at a time. I knew I could never go back to the innocence I had known before. That light and purity had gone out much like a snuffed candle. I would never again be that innocent, carefree child. I could not go back to Hogwarts. That part of my life was over, and I had already mourned its passing. I had faced many demons and could not deny the fact that I would face many, many more. But I would not fall apart again.

I stood and walked toward the cheery little house. I paused at the door, then opened it and stepped inside.

It closed gently behind me.

And that is how my half of the story ends. It only took me two years to write… The sequel will be written and posted by my friend and co-author, Linwe Amandil who is fantastic also. I wish ya luck, dearie! And thank you to all of you who stayed with me. I hope it was worth it.

Farewell!

K