A/N:Hey, look how eager I was to update. Isn't that sad? Anyway, thanks to any lurkers who might have come about to read this and extra special, spectacular thanks to my first two reviewers! Celesmoon and LaxGoalie, you guys are a rainbow in my heart. Although, Lax, I'm pretty certain Fred and George are two years older than Ron and Harry. Percy's two years older than Fred and George, Ron's a year older than Ginny, blah blah blah. Please forgive me if I'm incorrect :) Sometimes I suck like no other. Anyway, enjoy this horrendous chapter. I hope it makes you smile.

The Third

Chapter Two: Mission:Shrinking Percy's Head: FAILED!

Albus Dumbledore's office wasn't a frightening place – not by any means, but sometimes…when they created enough chaos for the chaos itself to become present with them in the office, Fred and George Weasley found themselves to be a bit, ah…uncomfortable.

15-year-old Severus Snape glared at them, his black eyes glittering malevolently, his mouth in a frown, his fists clenching. The Weasley Twins decided this could only mean one thing: Snape needed to have a hearty laugh about the entire situation so he could forget that he utterly despised them, and go on to be a productive, friendly, non-murderous member of magical society. To Fred and George, laughter solved everything.

But before they could scheme amongst themselves, Headmaster Dumbledore cleared his throat. A quick look at those twinkling blue eyes relaxed the Weasleys.

It was quite easy to tell when Dumbledore was amused. You see, the old man was almost always amused, and he was definitely amused this time. He kept looking between the redheads to his left and the pouting boy to his right and then would turn around to pick a lemon drop out of his candy dish and pop it into his mouth. Fred and George knew very well that their beloved headmaster was trying to hide his smiles – by the time dear, old Albus finally faced them for real, his mouth was crammed with about 5 lemon drops.

They weren't the only ones who realized this.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Snape exploded, leaping out of his chair. "Look at me! I'm a CHILD! You think it's funny, Albus, but it isn't! I'M A BLOODY GANGLY TEENAGER. Look what they've done!" He motioned down towards his thin, awkward body and jumped in the air once, about three inches up, to illustrate how tall he had been before this travesty had occurred. He turned towards the sniggering twins and bellowed, "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"Professor," George addressed him calmly, overcoming his chuckles.

"You look brilliant," Fred assured him.

"Absolutely fantastic."

"Maybe a trifle splotchy. I think you're breaking out."

"Better calm down and-"

"Stay away from sugar."

"FIVE HUNDRED POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape roared…or he tried to roar. His voice cracked slightly in the process of roaring.

"Ah, don't worry about that, mate," Fred said. "Still happens to us."

"All the time," agreed George. "Reckon it'll go away soon enough."

"I. Am. Not. Your. Mate," Snape informed them through tightly clenched teeth. "I am your professor and you will treat me as such throughout the time that I am in this diminutive body or I will bloody well rip the red hair off your Weasley heads!"

A moment of shocked silence passed through the room. Fawkes looked at them curiously from his perch before flying over to inspect the situation more closely from Dumbledore's shoulder.

Then Fred asked, "Is he allowed to threaten us with physical violence, George?"

"I think not, Fred. I think someone needs a nap."

"Ickle Severus is all cranky."

Snape's face had turned a magnificent shade of plum. This time, the twins did not think it looked so attractive. An angry mass of pale flesh and black hair seemed to be coming at them from all sides, all fists and feet, ready to bruise them like they'd never been bruised before. Fred closed his eyes.

"I think this is it, George."

"It's been a good ride, Fred."

But the beating didn't come. Of course, Dumbledore would never allow one of his staff to deliver blows in his very office. Why hadn't they thought of that? Clearly, 15-year-old Severus Snape was just as terrifying as…what was he now? Somewhere in his 30s?

They hesitantly opened their eyes to find Snape on the floor in a full-body-bind, Albus Dumbledore leering over him and searching the endless black orbs for communication.

"Are you going to be calm, my boy?" he asked gently. "The twins did not mean to do this to you, I'm sure. Let's give them a chance to explain why exactly they were brewing a de-aging potion in your classroom before we, ah…er…how did you put it, Severus? Rip the red hair off their Weasley heads?"

Something in Snape's eyes must have indicated that he had agreed because Dumbledore, much to the distress of Fred and George, put Snape right.

"Now," the old headmaster clapped his hands as the dark-headed boy scooted back on the floor to lean against the desk. "Misters Weasley, would either of you, or both of you, care to explain why exactly you were brewing that particular potion?"

Fred cleared his throat. "You see, Headmaster…"

"…It's like this…" George went on.

Albus held up his hand. "I changed my mind. Just one of you will suffice."

The boys exchanged glances.

"The floor's all yours, Fred," George said graciously, gesturing for his brother to go on.

"Oh, no, George, you are far superior to me in the realm of explaining things to the Headmaster. Remember that time with the ants…" Fred burst into laughter.

"You mean that time when we charmed the ants into Filch's pants?" George asked, unable to contain his own chuckles.

"And you explained to Headmaster Dumbledore here that we were simply attempting to show our dear Hogwarts caretaker some compassion by keeping him in tune with nature…"

"By bringing the outside in," George finished thoughtfully, a smile on his face. "Why, yes, Fred, I do believe you're correct. I am the better of the two of us at explaining." He puffed out his chest importantly. "You see, Professor, how I am more than willing to take my brother's compliments and turn them into a healthy inflation of my ego?" Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully and motioned for the boy to continue. "Well, our brother Percy…you know how he's head boy and everything. He's just become so…"

"Big-headed," Fred chimed in for the word.

"And we decided it would be really funny…"

"Hilarious," Fred added.

"To make a shrinking potion to SHRINK Percy's head."

Another blast of silence ensued and it seemed like glances were exchanged in every which direction before anyone bothered to speak. Fred to George, George to Professor Dumbledore, Professor Dumbledore to Professor Snape, and Professor Snape to Fawkes.

"Dunderheads," Professor Snape informed Fawkes, who nodded in agreement.

"Well…yes. I mean…what exactly were you thinking?" Dumbledore asked, completely befuddled by the boys' train of thought on this particular prank.

"We don't know," they answered in unison.

"We're usually very clever," Fred assured him.

"This was a fluke," agreed George.

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed, stroking his beard wonderingly. "A fluke that turned our Potions Master into a cranky 15-year-old boy."

"I AM NOT CRANKY."

A pause.

"Cranky," Fred sniggered. "Ickle Sevviekins!"

"THREE THOUSAND POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"Severus, don't be ridiculous. You can't take away points."

"What do you mean I can't take away points?" Snape asked, his icy voice filled with venom. When Dumbledore failed to answer he repeated, "What do you MEAN I can't take away points, Albus?"

"You can't teach in this state, Severus," the old wizard said thoughtfully. "You're much too…unbalanced."

"Hey!" George stood up, and walked behind Dumbledore, shielding Snape from his view. "He's not loony!"

"Yeah!" Fred agreed, standing next to his brother. "Sev, you're not hearing, er…voices in your head or any of that rubbish, are you?"

Severus scowled. "SIT DOWN."

This had no effect on the twins.

"Rather poor command, old chap," George said sympathetically. "You weren't even that intimidating."

"You really aren't cut out for teaching in this state, are you?" Fred concurred, reaching down to pat the dark boy's head. He quickly drew his hand back when a snarl erupted from Snape's mouth.

"Easy there, tiger," the twins murmured, then looked back up at Dumbledore with the synchronized question: "What's our punishment, then?"

"He's got to be kidding," Fred said once they were safely out of the office. "What're our mates going to say?"

"He's got to be," groaned George. "Slimy Slytherin Severus Snape…in OUR dorm!"

"Isn't that punishment for Snape? How can he punish the victim?" Fred asked angrily, smashing his fist against his palm. "Where's the justice in this world, ay?"

"I'm not bloody happy about it either," Snape said, glumly walking at their heels. "The least you could do would be to not reference it in front of me as if I weren't here." After a moment, he added, "Dunderheads." You know, just for good measure.

The twins sighed. Snape sighed.

It was going to be a hell of a…however long this took.

Ah, yes. To Be Continued and other such ending of the chapter trivalities...

:shameless begging for reviews ensues:

Please? I'm usually quite popular! Not that you can tell...since I switch names so often and never tell anyone my previous identity...You see, I hate to not live up to expectations and I tend to go slowly downhill each day...how dreadful...