Chapter 38

Every day during the next week was much the same as the one before it. They spent their mornings and afternoons in class, their evenings teaching Harry to use Andraste's powers, and their nights planning and practicing for the Halloween show. Severus, although still not fond of the idea of performing, was beginning to look forward to the treat they had planned for the students. The only question they had left to sort out was how to separate hundreds of young wizards from their wands, and Andraste insisted that she had that one under control. It was finally Friday again, and Andi was anxious for the party the next night. The week's classes were over, and all she had left to do was get through one more lesson with Harry and then she and Severus would head into their final rehearsal.

The lesson, however, promised to be an interesting one; he was advancing quickly, but Andraste wasn't quite sure that she was comfortable with what they were going to do that night. Part of being Andraste was acting like her, and so Harry was going to sit at the head table and Andraste with the Gryffindor's. If the experiment was successful, no one would comment to either of them that they were behaving strangely, so the only two that knew what they were doing were Severus and Dumbledore; Severus, for obvious reasons, and Dumbledore because it was impossible to keep anything from him anyway. Besides, it didn't hurt for him to see the progress that Harry was making.

"Bottom's up," Andraste said, raising her vial to Harry. Once they had traded bodies, Severus gave a hard look at them both.

"Potter," he began, the ice in his tone making Harry involuntarily flinch. "I expect that you will behave as is befitting a professor. Do not embarrass me."

"Of course not, Professor Snape," he assured. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise." Severus turned on Andraste, giving her the same cold stare he had given Harry, only to be met with laughter.

"Surely you don't think that I would be anything but an angel, do you?" Severus almost laughed at how absurd her faux angelic stature looked on Harry's body as she made a golden halo form above her head. Harry responded quickly by adding a small set of horns that caused the halo to hang lopsided.

"Enough, both of you," Severus growled. He was thoroughly uncomfortable with what they were about to do, even more so than Andraste. While she was worried about how Harry was going to handle himself in her body, Severus couldn't help but be frightened that she would find some way to use the situation to her advantage. If anyone could, it was Andi; and for all the traits of the other Houses that his bride possessed, she certainly had an overabundance of Slytherin cunning.

"Andraste, you go first," Severus instructed, and she obeyed, heading to dinner and pretending to be the infamous Harry Potter. She walked into the Great Hall and headed to Harry's normal seat beside Ron and Hermione.

"Where have you been Harry?" Hermione asked as soon as Andraste sat down.

"I was talking to Andi and Severus," she whispered so that only they could hear. Ron and Hermione both gave her shocked looks. "Damnit," she thought to herself. "I screwed up already."

"He let's you call him Severus?" Hermione questioned a bit louder than she had intended. The tone in her voice, mixed with the use of the Potion teacher's first name was enough to draw the attention of several people around them.

"You're friends with Snape? Like, greasy git, deatheater, hates-your-guts Snape?" the seventh year boy beside Fred asked in disbelief. Andraste saw the all of the Order members around her stiffen in irritation, but everyone remained quiet, for fear that jumping to Snape's defense would seem odd to those around them. Andraste responded the best way she knew how, she reached for the salt that was in front of the older boy, and accidentally knocked his drink over in the process.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said, trying her best to sound sincere. George and Fred, seeing the opportunity that 'Harry' had provided, picked up where she left off.

"Let us take care of that for you Michael," Fred offered.

"We just learned a great spell for cleaning," George continued. They both raised their wands at the same time, and shouted "Eluolutum." The spell started at the wet spot on his robes, unraveling all of the fabric the boy was wearing. It continued until he was sitting in the Great Hall with a pile of thread at his feet, wearing nothing but boxers.

"Well that's not right," Fred said cheerfully.

"Maybe we should have practiced that one more," George agreed.

"Sorry 'bout that, mate," they said in unison, and then turned back to their food. A moment later, while the embarrassed boy was obviously trying to decide what to do and the others were attempting to mask their laughter, they were approached by two teachers, one of who was the topic of the entire conversation.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Chelson? Or did you simply forget to dress yourself today?" Snape asked, his voice more amused than irritated.

"It...I" he began to stutter, trying to explain the situation, but Andraste broke in before he had the chance to blame it on anyone.

"It was my fault Professor Snape. I spilled his pumpkin juice and when we tried to clean it, well...I don't think his robes were very well made." Harry, who had been watching the situation from the safety of Andraste's body, had to fight down the laughter. For all he had to behave while he was being his teacher, his teacher definitely wasn't doing the same.

"Thank you so much for your explanation, Mr. Potter," Snape said, giving Andraste a very stern look. "Although I fear you will be even more of a thorn in my side tonight than you usually are, so I suggest I not need to come back to this table."

"Or you'll what, Professor Snape, sir?" Andi countered with a mischievous grin, earning gasps of shock from those that were listening.

"Or I shall leave you in detention for the rest of the school year."

"I shall take my punishment as a man should," Andraste said, putting her hand to her heart and feigning somber resignation. "But yet, am I a coward?" She asked, looking around with a dramatic flair. "Who calls me villain? Breaks my pate across? Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face? Tweaks me by the nose? Gives me the lie I' the throat as deep as to the lungs? Who does me this?"

"That is quite enough of the Shakespeare Mr. Potter," Snape said, the look in his eyes getting near murderous.

"Ha, 'swounds, I should take it, for it cannot be but I am pigeon-livered and lack gall to make oppression bitter, or ere this I should ha' fatted all the region kites with this slave's offal. Bloody, bawdy villain! Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain! O, vengeance!

"Harry, I'm warning you," Harry said, wondering if he'd be able to salvage his reputation when he had his body back. In response she smiled and turned to the rest of the school, who were intently watching the display before them.

"Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave, that I, the son of a dear father murdered, prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell, must like a whore unpack my heart with words and fall a-cursing like a very drab. A stallion! Fie upon't, foh! About, my brains." She punctuated her point by letting her head fall against the table with a dull thud. Her performance was quickly acknowledged with applause from the Gryffindor table that the rest of the school immediately joined in.

"Follow me, Mr. Potter. Now," Snape said harshly and then stalked away. Andraste smiled at the students around her that were watching with a mix of humor, pity, and fear for her safety, and then stood to follow Severus and Harry. Andraste, of course, had no fear until they reached the door to the Great Hall to find the Headmaster waiting for them.

"Let us speak in my office," Albus said, and led them all the short distance. Once they were all in, Severus began.

"What do you think you're doing? You're worse than the students!"

"Do have a sense of humor, Severus," Dumbledore broke in before turning to Andraste. "Would you like to explain yourself?"

"Yes, sir," she began, trying her best to sound innocent. "The way I see it, I just got Harry a few more weeks' detention at least. And no one should be suspicious."

"Brilliant, Andi," the real Harry said, earning himself a dirty look from Severus.

"Then we shall leave it there," Albus continued, "but please act as Harry would for the rest of dinner. Do you think that would be too hard for you?"

"I'll do my best, sir," Andi said, staring intently at the ground; looking up only to give her husband a dirty look when he scoffed at the implication that she could behave. Soon they all walked back into the Great Hall, Andi using all of her acting skills to make herself look as though she'd been yelled at and threatened within an inch of her life. She sat back down solemnly and focused on her food, giving the other students only a weak smile.

"Well?" Ron demanded impatiently. "Tell us what happened then."

"Two weeks of cauldron cleaning," Andraste said quietly. Everyone gave her sympathetic looks except the Order members, who knew full well that the time would be spent working on their plan against Voldemort. The rest of dinner passed without mishap; while Andi had fun teasing Severus she didn't want to push her luck with Dumbledore. When everyone was done eating, she told Ron and Hermione that she would meet them in the tower and headed towards the dungeon. She had barely reached the stairs however, when Hermione called out for her to wait.

"Going to get your body back, Andi?" she asked once she had caught up.

"That obvious, huh?" Hermione laughed in response.

"Harry doesn't often entertain us with Shakespeare... And he never calls Professor Snape Severus."

"That one was a genuine mistake," Andi admitted as they walked into her living room where Snape and Harry were waiting.

"As a matter of record, Mrs. Snape," Severus said, his voice still chiding, "Harry performed perfectly. No one had any idea it wasn't you, although I suspect you can't say the same."

"I love you too, honey," Andi said, tossing Harry a vial of potion. As soon as they were back in their own bodies Severus coldly suggested that the students leave.

"What the bloody hell possessed you to do that?" Severus demanded once they were alone.

"I already told you," Andraste said sweetly. "Harry needed more detention."

"Convenient excuse, but I don't believe that was your reasoning dear. Maybe you just like to make a spectacle out of yourself, is that possible?"

"One would think anything is possible, Draegon," she said and then headed towards the closet that concealed there music room. Severus let out an audible sigh, thinking to himself that he had married the craziest woman he had ever met, and followed her.