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Truth
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Hiiragizawa Eriol glanced at his watch and sighed to himself. Three thirty pm and she still hadn't shown up. He sipped his coffee then turned his gaze to the windowsill. A beautiful clump of white roses grew on the box underneath the window, scenting the air with its fragrance.
The usual sunshine was replaced by rain but that didn't quite remove the relaxing ambience of the small café. The service was quite good and the waitresses were nice. They didn't throw themselves at him unlike the other cafes he'd tried. In fact they didn't mind it if he was already waiting there for an hour, sipping his coffee.
Why was he waiting anyway? He had every right to get up, leave, and not come back. It was strange that he was acting like a ditched boyfriend.
Crimson crept up his cheeks and he shook his head slightly to clear his head. First and foremost, he wasn't her boyfriend and secondly it wouldn't happen even in a million years.
He was sitting here, on the most secluded table on a small café, to wait for his tutee. That's right, a tutee or student or whatever she desired to be called. Many male tutors would have preferred to call her darling or sweetheart but he restrained himself from following their example. Aside from being unethical, it was embarrassing at the most.
Many others of the XY-celled chromosome species a.k.a men would've traded an arm and a leg to have the privilege of sitting with her. And here he was, acting as if it wasn't anything to spend three afternoons with her to discuss his favorite subject while sipping coffee and eating ice cream at turns.
It could be a date, except that it would be a bit too much to say it was.
Eriol insisted it was a tutorial session not a date. And his servants just shrugged their shoulders and smiled dreamily. Nakuru even pointed out that he was dressing up too much for a simple "study date."
He looked at his watch at the same time as a dark-haired young woman arrived. She stopped right in front of the table, casting a shadow on him.
"Ah, Tomoyo-san, you're here." Eriol nodded with a relieved smile and got up. He helped her sit down on the seat across from him. His senses perked up as he felt her back trembling. Something wasn't right.
"Gomen nee, Eriol-kun… I had an appointment before this and it went overtime." Daidouji Tomoyo tried to smile as she placed her handbag on her lap. He sat down again and stared at her for a moment before nodding.
"That's understandable, Tomoyo-san." He said as he watched her order some vanilla and chocolate ice cream from the waitress. She smiled slightly as she inclined her head gracefully.
"Have you been waiting long?" she asked.
Eriol shook his head. "No, I've just arrived," he lied.
And he wondered why the hell he did that.
"What are we studying today?" she said as she pulled out her Philosophy book. His brows furrowed a little. She never initiated the studying; she would usually chatter on about something and adding wise aphorisms about it. There was something wrong.
Not missing a beat he pulled out his own Philosophy book and flipped it open on the right page. "The Roman Philosophic schools. Let's start."
She nodded quietly as he began to explain the various schools related to the ancient schools of philosophy. Tomoyo found some trouble on Philosophy and he was only glad enough to help her out. They went to the same school after all, much to their delighted surprise after so many years, and as a schoolmate he felt it was his duty to teach her.
His calm blue eyes were watching her movements and reactions without her knowledge. It didn't take a genius (or a mage for that matter) to discern her apparent preoccupation. She was listless and her usually lively violet-blue eyes were vague as she toyed with her ice cream. Her answers were monosyllabic and she would just nod at what he was saying.
Eriol closed his Philosophy book and she looked at him with surprise.
"Is something wrong, Eriol-kun?" she asked, concern written on her face. It was actually her idea to shed the polite name diminutives to create a relaxing atmosphere. The whole Hiiragizawa surname must have been too long to pronounce, he thought wryly.
"No, that question must be asked to you, Tomoyo-san." He said seriously. She sat up and met his blue gaze.
"What do you mean? I'm fine…" her voice trailed off and she didn't quite meet his eyes. Her fingers stirred the ice cream slowly, clockwise then counterclockwise. He sighed audibly; she was making it harder for him to understand.
"You've been listless. How can I give you my ideas and explanations if you weren't willing to accept it? Your mind is somewhere else… What's wrong? You're never like this Tomoyo-san…" Eriol said quietly, staring at her calmly. She merely shook her head and smiled at him. He noted that it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"I'm sorry Eriol-kun… I'm just a bit distracted-"Tomoyo replied and she returned her gaze to the beautiful roses. "It's just that something happened earlier…"
"Your appointment?" he said helpfully.
She nodded. "Yes, that appointment… Well, honestly, it wasn't one. I was with my boyfriend."
"Go on." He said, leaning back and gazing at her thoughtfully. His interest was piqued because his pretty tutee rarely mentioned about her love affairs.
"We just broke up." Tomoyo said simply.
Eriol didn't exclaim or gasp or do anything silly. His eyes widened with slight surprise before returning to calm blue again.
"We've been together for some six months and I thought it would last since my other relationships were either a fluke or it didn't last. I really cared for him… but I think he didn't care for me…" she went on after watching the raindrops fall against the window pane.
His fists clenched as he listened to the flatness and dullness in the usually cheerful and melodic voice of the raven-haired girl. She was opening her heart to him for the first time.
"Why do you say that?" he asked gently.
"You won't understand since you're a guy but I'll give it a try. I'm the one doing everything in that relationship… I mean, I always called, made sure he was okay, cooked his lunch… I did everything. But I don't get any recognition for it… anything, not even a thank you…"
"Why did he do that to me? Sometimes I feel like an object… always at his beck and call. He flaunts me at his own school, bragging now that I think of it. It hurt but since it made him happy… I'm so stupid, aren't I?" Tomoyo rested her right cheek on her palm as she kept her gaze on the rain outside the window. The roses were bathing happily in the cool raindrops.
She turned to him, her eyes misty with held back tears. The long lashes were heavy with teardrops and in its liquid violet-blue depths hurt a pain he couldn't heal.
"Silly, silly naïve Tomoyo… I trusted too much, didn't I? I pretended that maybe he would care for me… that he would see me. Why did we even get together? Why didn't I answer no? Why didn't I listen to Sakura-chan? She knew what I was going to go through…"
The tears fell slowly, one by one, coursing through her alabaster-like skin.
Eriol's heart ached for her. He didn't like seeing her so sad and he definitely didn't like feeling so helpless. He felt an irrational urge to kick that guy's arse to China rose up from the pits of his stomach but he pushed it away.
"I'm so stupid aren't I? I can't think for myself… I feel so worthless." She sighed as she bit her lower lip to stop the tears. She bit so hard her lip started to bleed. Her tears tasted salty as she bowed her head to hide the blossoming blood at her pink lips.
"No, you're not…" he said as he got up and took out his handkerchief. The dark-haired mage dabbed her lip very gently to help absorb as much blood as possible. Pink colored her cheeks but he didn't mind. The bleeding stopped and he wiped away the tears from her eyes and cheeks.
"Don't cry, Tomoyo-san. It's not worth your tears." Eriol said gently. She stared at him, slightly shocked at his actions. "It's better this way."
"B-Better?" she repeated.
The black-haired young man nodded gravely. "'Nemo da't coud non habel,'" he said.
"What does that mean?" she asked as she stared at him, slightly confused.
"'Nobody gives what one doesn't have.' That's what it means." The man smiled slightly as recognition dawned on her. "You're more valuable than what you say, Tomoyo-san. That slimy cretin didn't deserve you. You are not silly or foolish nor were you in love. You were probably infatuated hence your blindness to his ways."
"You obviously crave love and affection… not cool treatment or pretending to be ignorant of your presence. It's just as well that you learned a lesson, painful in a way but it helped enlighten you, did it not? In other words, he was a jerk."
"So… since he was one, he doesn't have any feelings and cares only for himself. The attention and affection you crave cannot be given because there is none hence the quote." he explained as she watched with rapt fascination. That was way better than any school-related philosophical discussion. She honestly didn't know her Eriol-kun knew such things. This definitely earns him the rightful title of most knowledgeable mage in the world in her book.
He leaned back, smiling slightly as her expression lit up a little. She's found her way, he mused.
"I… I don't feel the pain any more." Tomoyo said softly as she placed a hand over her heart. "No, it's not pain… pity more like."
"You feel pity?" he said, an eyebrow rose eloquently.
"Yes… Because he will never feel how it is to be loved." she replied.
"Oh, the contrary, he was loved but he was just too blind to have realized it." Eriol said as his eyes twinkled mischievously. "So you can use that saying in a lot of things too. Like in happiness for instance."
Tomoyo looked at him, smiling now. "If I have enough happiness then I will not be subjected to it. Because if I did then I can share and give some of it away to other people…otherwise, if I had none then I cannot give it… because I do not have it."
He nodded. She picked it up quickly. "So, in love?"
"If I have enough love then I can give it away… and I shouldn't expect so much too." Tomoyo giggled as she turned to the window. The sun was peeking from behind the clouds and its rays fell on the heavy petals of the white roses. She smiled as she drank in the lovely sight.
"White roses mean purity and truth. You're just like it." Eriol said thoughtfully as he gazed at her beautiful features. He could see the innocence and purity in her eyes, her face, and in her movements. She hid nothing and betrayed no one. Tomoyo was just Tomoyo.
Eriol reached over and plucked a rose carefully before giving it to her. She blushed in delightful rosy pink as she smelled it. She looked questioningly at the staff that were tactfully avoiding them, meaning that she could have it.
"For a very honest and loving lady," he said with a handsome smile.
"T-Thank you, Eriol-kun," Tomoyo said shyly "You've done so much for me."
"No, everything was done whole-heartedly." Eriol said honestly. He looked at the slowly clearing sky and nodded.
He had all the love in the world for her but it seems that it was too early to offer it to her. What he could give was more than enough.
They laughed together, enjoying the new sunshine and the fragrance of a blooming white rose.
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A/N: finally! My fiftieth fic! XD this goes to all my reviewers in Hitomi wo Tojite! I am finally an Eriol x Tomoyo fan again!