A/N: This doesn't belong to me, except for the stuff that belongs to me. Another short chapter, now I'm going to run before you find knives.
Chapter 45
It was dark, so dark that even light from his wand seemed smothered by the weight of it. "Traitor," he heard Voldemort hiss from close-by, though the sound seemed to echo around him and he couldn't pinpoint which direction it was actually coming from. "I knew you'd come."
"Where is she?" Severus asked, doing his best to hide the fear he was feeling as the monster ripped his wand from his hand with a whispered word.
"Where is who?" Voldemort asked coyly. "Your little wife or the child she carries?"
"Where is she?" Severus asked again, only to hear a chorus of laughter in response.
"Silence," the half human instructed the death eaters that Severus could feel all around before addressing him again. "Did you really think you could keep her from me, Severus? Have you already forgotten what we do to traitors, or did you truly believe that you could keep her safe?" Voldemort stared at Severus for a moment, allowing himself to bask in the horror that his ex-deatheater was experiencing. "I'm feeling generous tonight, so I will give you a choice." Severus' stomach turned, he had been forced to witness far to many of Voldemort's choices to ever believe that either option would be pleasant. Dreading whatever it was he was about to hear, he braced himself, praying he could get them out alive. "If you kill the child," the snake continued, his voice almost cheerful, "I will let your mudblood bitch go. If you refuse, we will kill them both. Or perhaps…" Voldemort added with a hiss. "Perhaps you would be so wise as to save yourself; if they were both to die at your hand, I might be persuaded to spare you."
Severus' head spun as he felt like he was hit with a thousand curses at once. He would die, he held no illusions about that; but the only way to save his wife was to murder his unborn baby. The nausea that threatened to overtake him increased a hundred fold as he heard a scream; one that he had no doubt belonged to Andraste.
"Time is ticking, Severus," Voldemort whispered into his ear as the scream faded. "And my death-eaters are growing bored with their new toy." The knowledge of what they were most likely doing to his wife was too much for Severus as he dropped to his knees quicker than if he had been hit by Crucio; and threw up the dinner from the evening before. "When life was still perfect," he thought to himself.
"She's ready for him, Master," a deatheater said as he entered the room and bowed at Voldemort's feet.
"Come Severus, your precious wife is waiting." Barely capable of registering his surroundings, he felt himself being hoisted from the ground by two deatheaters and pushed towards the stairs that led to the cellar. He forced himself to continue on, step by step until Voldemort turned to him with malicious eyes.
"What is your decision, Severus?" Thoughts raced through his mind as the knowledge of how much Andraste would hate him if he killed their child tore at his heart. She hadn't said it, but he could see in her eyes the night before just how much she wanted this baby. He wished with everything in him that he had told her the same; that he wanted it so badly it hurt; that he wanted to grow old by her side and do his best to temper the mischief she would no doubt instill in their children. But like most other things he had truly wanted in his life, the child was being ripped away from him; his only chance was to save the mother, his wife.
"I'll…kill…the…child," he said, his breathing ragged and already hating himself for having merely spoken those words.
"Wonderful," Voldemort said with a vicious smile as Severus found himself having his wand pushed back into his hand as he was thrust into the small, poorly lit cell with Andi. He had barely begun to open his mouth to speak to her, when his thoughts were brought to a screeching stand still, and he heard himself scream as his world was violently ripped away from him. Barely registering the laughter he could hear as Voldemort walked away, he stumbled to Andraste's side, pulling her up to him. She was covered in long cuts, more blood than he had ever seen soaking her skin and the dirty cot that she laid on. Beside the bed lay her clothes, discarded and bloodstained, and on top a part of her body Severus' mind knew as being what once filled the gaping hole in her abdomen, what held his now dead child.
"Andi, please no," he begged, clutching her still form, even as the blank look in her eyes answered his ultimate question. She was gone. The body that once held his wife was destroyed beyond repair, as was the soul he once possessed that loved her so strongly. "I'm sorry, Andi. I'm so sorry," he whispered as he pulled her limp body onto his lap and cradled her in his arms. "I love you," he said quietly as he closed his eyes for the final time, incapable of living without his wife and child. Without another thought, he pointed his wand at himself and spoke his final words. "Avada Kedavra."
The world floated through an impatient oblivion for days as Severus watched those around him prepare for the funerals. Voldemort, in an act of twisted gloating, had delivered the bodies to Hogwarts by portkey, and Severus had no choice but to let his spirit follow. He tried in vain to get someone's attention – anyone's; but even the Bloody Baron and the other ghosts seemed oblivious to his attempts. "Why aren't I with you?" he asked Andraste's empty body as he watched people come and go, saying their final goodbye's. He wasn't alive anymore, but he wasn't dead either. He was trapped somewhere in between, his mind helpless to do anything but replay his life – the mistakes he had made, and the things he might have done to save her. While his mind and heart spent every moment shaking with sobs, his form allowed no tears to come, allowed no release of the guilt and loss that he felt. Each moment passed the same as the last, locked in a nightmare he couldn't wake from. He began to understand slowly what had happened the night she was taken. There was a traitor in the castle, someone with enough access to sneak in to their chambers while they slept and apparate away with Andraste.
Severus watched, as time passed meaninglessly until the day that their bodies were to be forever sealed in the ground. Hundreds gathered around the two caskets, those that knew them best the closest. At the head, Albus stood to lead the processions; at the other end, three Gryffindors sat on the ground clinging to each other. He listened as Albus began, as the words to a song he hadn't heard in years drifted through his mind.
If I could tell you now how much you meant to me
"We come together today in mourning, just as we came together such a short time ago in celebration."
Just how much I treasured every moment that we had
"Tragedy, as is so horribly frequent in times of war, has fallen upon our lives."
But it's too late for second chances, and I never had the chance to say good-bye
"Two professors, one we have all known for years, and one we've known for just months but loved all the same…"
I had this crazy dream for our family
"…have lost their lives to the very cause that so many of us devote ourselves to."
I had this foolish thought you'd always be right there
"In times like these it's so hard to understand the madness that seems to haunt us…"
And the morning that I woke to find you gone, was the morning I learned how to cry
"…There is no easy answer to why people such as these…"
I tried so hard to keep you safe – Please forgive me
"…two people that had so recently found something so real in each other…"
I'd gladly take your place – Please believe me
"…had to be lost to something that now seems so insignificant."
If I could have another chance – Please God let me
"He was a strong, honest man; with a seriousness that only Andraste could balance."
I swear to you I'd never let you go
"She was a kind, gentle woman with mischievous side that only Severus could calm."
If I could tell you know how much I'd gladly give
"If ever there were two more right, I have never met them."
To just stand here and hold you in my arms
"It is with a heavy heart that we lay them to rest today, and with a prayer…"
But it's too late for that, I know it. And I never had the chance to say it all
"…that their loss will not be in vain. We must come together, now more than ever…"
I had this crazy thought I could protect you
"…we must unite and be there for each other in times as hard as these…"
I was so sure I'd keep you safe here by my side
"…we must, with our own actions, show that their lives, that what they fought for…"
The morning that I woke to find you gone, was the morning I wish I hadn't woke at all
"…was not lost with them." Lost. It was the only word Severus could hear. The only way he could describe how he felt inside as he watched them cover his wife's body.
"Please, Andi," he begged again in vain, laying over her coffin though no one else could see him. "Please, please don't leave me."
I tried so hard to keep you safe – Please forgive me
I'd gladly take your place – Please believe me
If I could have another chance – Please God let me
I swear to you I'd never let you go