Love Song
Chapter Five- When Lines Are Drawn
By darthelwig
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I do not own Saiyuki. This story is rated M. Slash warning.
Thank you to GhostHelwig for seeing me through this project. When I was at my weakest, you were there for me. Thank you!
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Goku ran a tentative hand through his newly shorn locks for the billionth time. Cutting it had been a painless, but rather traumatic experience for him. But Sanzo had stayed with him while Hakkai worked on his hair, and Goku had clung to the blonde's arm like it was some sort of lifeline. He knew Sanzo had been about to pull away from him, but something had changed his mind at the last second, and he'd stayed, allowing Goku to keep his almost painful hold. Whatever the reason, Goku had been grateful for that simple kindness.
He was still getting used to his hair being so much shorter and lighter now. Sanzo had snapped at him to leave it alone, but Goku thought he might have finally given up. The boy simply could not stop touching it.
Even so, when Sanzo glanced at Goku, one eyebrow raised, the boy yanked his hand down away from his head. The slightest smile touched his angel's lips and Goku felt the tightness in his chest, which had been there since Hakkai had taken those damn shears to his hair, loosen up a bit. He smiled at Sanzo, who looked away quickly.
Goku's stomach growled and he pressed his palms to his belly.
"Sanzo, I'm hungry!" he announced, and his angel's eye twitched. Sanzo was turned away from Goku, though, so the boy couldn't see the tiny warning signal.
"Sanzo, when can we eat?" he asked when the blonde didn't say anything. "Sanzo-!"
"Shut up!" Sanzo yelled, turning to glare at the kid. "You just ate a few hours ago!"
"I know, but I'm hungry again, Sanzo!" Goku knew he was whining now and he didn't care. His stomach was awake and angry, and he needed to fill it up.
"We'll have to become rich and famous just to feed the kid," Gojyo said, laughing, and Goku glared at him.
"I'm not a kid!"
"You're right," Gojyo said, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "You're more like Sanzo's pet monkey."
"You take that back!" Goku yelled, but Gojyo was shaking with laughter. Goku's face was red with embarrassment, his fists clenched tight, but he didn't even think about striking out at the redhead. You didn't hit your friends, even if they were seriously asking for it.
"Hakkai, don't you think he looks like a monkey?" Gojyo said, turning to their dark-haired drummer, but Hakkai was looking past them. Gojyo wiped tears of mirth from his eyes and glanced in the direction Hakkai was staring.
"Well, well," he said, dark excitement in his voice. "Sanzo, you better come take a look at this."
"What now?" Sanzo asked, sounding tired and, to Goku's ears, a bit cranky. Gojyo pulled a hot pink flyer off a telephone pole and handed it to the blonde, smirking for some reason Goku couldn't fathom. Of course, he doubted he'd ever understand anything Gojyo said or did.
Sanzo looked at the paper blankly, thoughts completely unreadable, then crumpled it in one white-knuckled fist and tossed it to the ground. He lit a cigarette and took a long, relaxed drag, face tilted to the sky as he exhaled.
"Let's go," he said, walking away. Gojyo and Hakkai followed after him- Hakkai's face neutral, but Gojyo's lit by a strange little smile.
Goku glanced at the balled up paper, then quickly snatched it up. He couldn't remember learning to read, but he'd spent hours bettering his reading skills in that basement. His keepers had stored tons of junk down there with him, including stacks of dusty old books. He'd gotten a lot of practice. But even with all that practice he'd done, he still had to read the flyer twice before he realized what he was looking at.
His eyes narrowed in curiosity, his face full of questions.
"Goku!" came the sharp summons of Sanzo's voice, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. The flyer fluttered to the ground as the boy let it drop unnoticed from his hand and ran to catch up to his angel.
….
Kou was happy.
The gig was going well. The audience was into it and their energy sent adrenaline coursing through his veins. He was dripping with sweat under the hot lights. It ran into his eyes and stung, but that didn't matter to him at all. His band was playing, people were enjoying his music and life could not be sweeter.
He growled out the lyrics as his fingers caressed the noted from his guitar. This was why he played. This was why he loved to play. This was the greatest rush he'd ever felt. He was in tune with the music and the energy around him. It filled him and fulfilled him, in a way nothing else ever had. All he could ever need was here, right now, in this little club. He didn't need fame or fortune or any of those trappings of success. No, those were for his stepmother. He didn't want it. All he needed was to play. It didn't matter how large the audience was. As long as one person enjoyed it, he would continue to make his music.
He was so engrossed in the throbbing music that he didn't notice their presence until he saw Doku stiffen next to him. His friend's face was wooden as he stared out across the crowd to the very back of the room. Kou kept playing, kept singing, even as his eyes searched the darkened room for whatever it was Doku had seen.
It was the glint of light on blond hair that caught his eye. How often had he seen that hair in just this kind of lighting? He would recognize it anywhere, even though the rest of the man was enshrouded in smoky gloom and darkness.
His voice caught on a note and he forced himself to continue on. If they were here, that was only natural. They would want to see what he'd left them for. It made sense.
Still, it seemed like forever until their set was over and he could retreat from the spotlight. It felt like he was running away, and he viciously shoved that thought aside. He wasn't running from anything.
"Doku," he said, pulling his friend aside as soon as they were offstage. "Sanzo is here."
"He is?" Doku asked, eyes widening with surprise. "Where?" Doku stretched to look over people's heads, eyes searching for someone he'd never seen before.
"I thought you knew," Kou said. "He's over there in the back." He pointed the way and his friend's eyes followed his finger, but Doku still couldn't see them.
"I'm going over there," Kou said, his face grim. Doku was surprised, but he nodded.
"I'll go with you," he said. They made their way through the crowd, ready for anything. And people took one look at their faces and backed away.
….
"Did you hear that, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, worried eyes looking to the blonde for leadership. He seemed agitated and that made Goku nervous. Hakkai was a very calm person by nature. For him to be so upset spoke volumes about what was going through the minds of his friends.
"That damn bastard changed the lyrics, but those are our songs!" Gojyo growled, cigarette clenched tightly in his teeth. He was furious. Goku could see the anger in every trembling line of the redhead's body.
Sanzo didn't say anything. He just stood there, leaning against the wall and smoking. Long fingers covered the lower half of his face as he thought things over, eyes half-closed. Goku could see something dangerous lurking in the heavy-lidded eyes of his angel- something angry. He stayed quiet for once, unable to think of anything to say that could calm his beautiful blond angel and make him smile. Even his stomach had settled down, his entire being concentrated on Sanzo.
He moved to Sanzo's side and stood next to him silently, close but not touching him- not quite. In the dim light, Sanzo seemed pale and washed out, bleached of all life. It chilled Goku's bones, and he shifted uncomfortably.
A question occurred to him but he was hesitant to voice it. He gave himself a swift mental kick for being so cowardly. Sanzo would never respect a coward. So he cleared his throat and asked.
"Is that the guy you told me about, Sanzo? Is that Kougaiji?"
A thin stream of smoke poured through his angel's fingers as he exhaled.
"Yes," Sanzo said, still not looking at anyone. Goku couldn't tell if Sanzo's silence was a good thing or a bad thing. Was he calm and considering or contemplating destruction?
His thoughts were interrupted by a new voice- one that was husky and smooth and prickled on his skin.
"Sanzo," Kou said as he emerged from the crowd with Doku following close behind. He was smiling, but it was more a challenge and a warning than a sign of welcome.
Goku felt a ripple of shock race up his spine as he saw Kougaiji's face up close for the first time. The dim lighting was horrible, but he could still tell that the man's eyes were violet, just like Sanzo's. Yet, looking into those eyes didn't calm him or tempt him to lose himself in their depths, like Sanzo's did. They didn't draw him. Kougaiji's eyes didn't hold the same conviction his angels' possessed either. This man's will was not the tempered steel of Sanzo's. His heart seemed emptier somehow. They were similar, yes, but these two men could not have been more fundamentally different if they'd tried.
Then those exotic, empty eyes focused on him, and he was suddenly acutely aware of how close he was to Sanzo. He could feel his angel's close proximity along every inch of his skin, like a pleasant tingle. Why was this happening? Why was it that, when Kougaiji looked at him like that, all he could think about was Sanzo?
Goku's face hardened as he faced Kougaiji down, refusing to let that arrogant look go unanswered. And then, without knowing why he did it, he folded his arms across his chest and leaned sideways slightly so that his shoulder was resting against Sanzo's arm. The blonde didn't move away from him as Goku expected he might. Instead, Goku felt his angel's tension begin to ease a bit. He could feel the arm he rested against relax.
Kougaiji's stare shifted to Sanzo, ignoring Hakkai and Gojyo completely. Sanzo raised his head and met Kou's gaze, face composed and emotionless.
"What are you doing here?" Kou asked angrily.
"Enjoying the show," Sanzo said, dropping his cigarette and crushing it with his booted toe. "Nice songs."
Kou's eyes narrowed and he clenched his fists. Goku stiffened, preparing to intercept any blow meant for his angel.
"I did write them," Kou said. "They're mine."
"I suppose so," Sanzo said, voice neutral. His apparent lack of emotion seemed to be making Kougaiji even angrier. Goku tensed, waiting for the strike….
And Gojyo's voice broke the dangerous tension building between them.
"Jien?" he exclaimed, face full of wonder as he gazed at the big man who'd arrived with Kougaiji. Gojyo stepped closer to the man, peering intently at his face. "It is you! What are you-?"
The man slapped Gojyo hard across the face, snapping the crimson-haired man's head to the side. Gojyo raised one hand to his cheek and stared in shock at the man who'd just hit him. Goku thought he saw tears glistening in Gojyo's eyes, then Hakkai was there, stepping between the two men.
Hakkai's hard gaze held a murderous anger. To Goku, he seemed like a completely different person now. Gone was the soft-spoken gentleman who usually possessed that face, and in his place was a man who had no mercy or compassion- a man whose eyes held the promise of pain.
The big man didn't step backward, but Goku could see him hesitate, unsure whether to fight or flee. It was an instinctive reaction, one that obviously confused the man, whose size had probably always been his greatest strength. But when faced with an opponent more enraged animal than human being, he felt that instinctive urge to flee. Right now, Hakkai was a predator, and whoever got in his way was his prey.
"Don't' touch him again," Hakkai said, his voice eerily calm and strangely polite. The big man seemed to gather himself before he spoke again.
"I don't go by that name anymore. My name now is Dokugakuji. Remember that." Doku said this to Gojyo, determinedly ignoring Hakkai, who stood between them. Gojyo was silent for a moment, then removed his hand from his face and glared at the big guy.
"Fine. I will." It was all he said, but the words were heavy with meaning. He turned away and Goku could see the effort that cost him plain as day in Gojyo's eyes. Hakkai gave Doku one last, measuring look and went to stand by Gojyo's side.
Having decided nothing seriously wrong was going to happen, Kou turned back to Sanzo, whose posture hadn't changed in the slightest.
"So who's this?" Kou asked, tilting his chin in Goku's direction. He asked the question quite casually, but Goku could practically taste the man's overwhelming curiosity and need to know.
This time Sanzo smiled, the corners of his mouth lifting into an unmistakably satisfied expression.
"Meet Goku," Sanzo said. "He's your replacement."
Kou's eyes widened, his entire face betraying his shock.
"You found a replacement? So soon?"
"Yeah," Gojyo said, lifting his chin and giving Kou his most arrogant, disdainful look. "And he's better than you by a long shot."
Goku was surprised by Gojyo's ringing endorsement. They hadn't even gotten a chance to play together yet, so the redhead had no idea what he was talking about. He was just about to speak up when Sanzo's fingers wrapped around his wrist, staying his tongue. He looked at his angel, confused, but the blonde wasn't looking at him. Instead, his gaze was fixed on Gojyo and Kou.
Goku kept his mouth shut, understanding and obeying his angel's wishes. Honesty always came naturally to him, but Gojyo probably wouldn't want him sticking his nose into things right now.
"I guess we'll have to see about that," Kou said, glaring at Gojyo with unconcealed contempt. "Good luck writing new material in time for the contest."
And with that final parting shot, Kougaiji stalked off. Doku followed close behind.
"Are you okay?" Hakkai asked Gojyo, and the crimson-haired man nodded.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I just got caught off guard, is all. It won't happen again."
Hakkai looked unsatisfied with that answer, but he accepted it with a mute nod of his head. He looked at Sanzo and raised his eyebrow in an unspoken, yet clearly understood question.
"We'll write new songs," Sanzo said, shrugging his shoulders. Hakkai looked unconvinced.
"We'll need a place to practice, and all the money I got for my watch went to buying Goku's guitar and amp."
Gojyo clasped his fingers behind his head and smiled.
"Don't' worry about that, Hakkai. I think I've got a place lined up. And we won't even have to pay for it."
Gojyo winked at Hakkai, who smiled ruefully and held his hands up in surrender.
"Okay, then!" he said. "I guess we actually do have things pretty much under control now."
"Let's get the hell out of this dump," Sanzo said, and Goku's stomach suddenly reminded him he was hungry. The boy gritted his teeth against the hunger pangs and looked at Sanzo pleadingly.
"Can I get something to eat, Sanzo? Please?"
The blonde growled to himself, but the kid looked miserable and he found himself giving in once again.
"Fine. Let's just get the hell out of here." And they did.