So here's the next chapter. I'm already almost done with the next one, so I'll try to get it up quickly. I'm so bummed out, I went to a going away party last night for one of my friends who is transferring, and then I got really drunk, so it didn't hit me until today that she's leaving, and now I'm bummed and extremely hung over. So make me feel better, and leave a review! Thanks!

Disclaimer: The characters nor the song are mine.

And it stings when it's nobody's fault

Cause there's nothing to blame

At the drop of your name

It's only the air you took

And the breath you left

That afternoon, Kirsten drove over to the motel that Sandy was staying at. She took a deep breath and walked up to his door. She knocked once and waited for him to answer. They needed to talk. She had been putting it off, and she knew that she had to get it over with at some point. They had to figure out what was going to happen from there.

She had to figure out what was going to happen from there.

After her lunch with Julie, Kirsten had decided that she would let him talk. She would listen. The door to the motel room opened and Sandy stood there, unshaven and drunk.

"Kirsten," he breathed when he saw his wife.

"Sandy? Did you go to work today?" She asked as he stepped aside to let her in. The room was covered with beer bottles.

"Couldn't," he said. "I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't stop thinking about you." Even when she was angry with him, Sandy had a way of saying things that made her heart stop and she would usually melt and be putty in his hands.

Usually. Not today.

"Oh Sandy, look at this place!" Kirsten hadn't started drinking yet. She had been too busy crying. She knew that the drinking would come. It would be nice, now that she thought about it, to be completely numb. It would be nice to not have to feel for awhile.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. He was sorry about everything. He was sorry that he hurt her. He was sorry for what he did. He was sorry that she saw him like this. He was sorry that he couldn't pull her into his arms and hold her tightly.

He was sorry.

"I wanted to talk to you…but you're not in the right state of mind," she said softly.

"No, no, I'm fine," Sandy said. If Kirsten wanted to talk, then he would let her talk. He would do whatever it took to get her back.

"I just…I want to know why you did it," she said finally, finding an empty place on the bed and sitting down. She felt nauseous again, but she stayed to listen to his answer.

"I don't know," he said seriously. Seeing Kirsten had sobered him up very fast. "I just…I never got to say goodbye to her, you know? I never had the same closure with her as you did with Jimmy. I always wondered, and I will admit, seeing her again made me feel like I was twenty-one again, and willing and able to take on the world."

"So that means you throw away twenty years with me?"

"No," Sandy said shaking his head. "I wasn't thinking, and she kissed me and I had…I don't know, we were fighting…"

"Because of her, Sandy!" Kirsten exclaimed.

"I know, I know, and I'm so sorry…I tried to block you out, but you were in my mind, I kept seeing your face. Even while…I felt so guilty."

"You thought about me while you were fucking someone else?" Kirsten asked in a low voice. The need to throw up overwhelmed her and she ran to the bathroom at the thought of her husband thinking about her while he was having sex with Rebecca. Sandy didn't hesitate before following her, and dropping down to his knees to hold back her hair. He ran a soothing hand over her back. He hadn't thought that maybe she wouldn't want him to touch her at that point; it never crossed his mind that he was the reason that she was throwing up and so maybe he should keep his distance. All Sandy knew was that his wife was sick, and he wanted to make things better for her.

Kirsten stopped throwing up and sat back as Sandy ran a wet wash cloth under the sink and handed it to her.

"Wasn't I enough for you?" Kirsten asked softly, tears starting to fall.

"You were, God, Kirsten, you were more than enough…I am such an idiot. You are the most amazing woman in the world…" She turned her head. "Do you believe that I love you? You are just…incredible. You're beautiful…" Kirsten turned her head back to face her husband.

"Those are just words Sandy," she said. "You can tell me that you love me a thousand times. You can say that I'm beautiful a thousand more, but it doesn't change the fact that there was a reason that you slept with Rebecca. There was a reason that you cheated on me. There was a reason that I wasn't enough. And I couldn't have been Sandy, because if I had been enough you wouldn't have slept with her."

"That's not true," he said. "You were enough. Its just…you were right, a part of me was still in love with her. Or at least, the idea of her. The idea of this girl who just disappeared from my life without so much as a goodbye. And maybe over time I had built her up as this…fantasy. But, Kirsten, that fantasy doesn't exist. Or…it does, but it changed over time. You are my fantasy. You are…my everything." And Kirsten wanted to believe him. She really did. But instead she dropped her head into her hands and she sobbed. And this time Sandy didn't move to take her into his arms. So they just sat on the cold bathroom floor, facing one another, both crying because of what they had lost.

"Hello?" Seth grabbed the phone on his way to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

"Seth?"

"Why hello Aunt Hailey," Seth said. "How's Japan?"

"Oh, it's amazing, but Seth, can I talk to your mom? I've been trying her all day, and her secretary said that she hasn't been in since lunch."

"She's not home," Seth said frowning. "I can have her call you when she gets home though?"

"Okay, thanks Seth," Hailey said before he heard the dial tone. Ryan came in and saw the frown on Seth's face.

"What's up?"

"My mom isn't at work," Seth said. "That was Hailey, she said that she's been trying all day."

"I'm sure she's okay Seth," Ryan said. "Give her a call." Seth nodded, and dialed his mother's number. It went to voice mail.

"Mom, it's Seth, give us a call at home when you get this."

"Try your dad," Ryan suggested. "He might know where she went." Seth didn't want to call his dad, but the want to find his mother and make sure that she was okay was overdriving the need to not talk to his dad. Seth had suddenly become very protective of his mother since his father had moved out.

"Dad?" Seth said into the phone.

"Hey Seth," Sandy answered. Kirsten had just left a few minutes before. They had stayed on the bathroom floor crying for God knows how long.

"Have you seen Mom? We're looking for her," Seth cut to the chase. He was still very, very pissed off at his father.

"She just left here like twenty minutes ago," Sandy said.

"Why was she there?" Seth asked.

"We were talking," Sandy suddenly realized that he wouldn't just have to fight for his wife, but his sons as well. This mistake was going to cost him everything if he didn't fix it soon.

"Oh. Well, thanks," Seth told him before he hung up without saying goodbye. Ryan looked at him expectantly. "She left the motel about twenty minutes ago. They were talking." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, they heard the front door open.

"Seth? Ryan?" Kirsten called out. "I brought home Thai." Ryan went to help her with the bags as Seth grabbed some plates to set out on the table.

Three plates. They were back down to three plates.

"Hailey called. She said that she's been trying to reach you all day," Seth told his mother.

"Oh, okay, thanks Seth," Kirsten busied herself with unpacking the food from the bag. "I'll call her later."

"Okay," Seth said. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"What did you have to talk to Dad about?" Seth asked. Kirsten paused for a minute, her hand pausing before lifting out the last of the food.

"Seth, I understand that this affects you, I do, and I appreciate your concern, but conversations between your father and I are private," Kirsten finally said sighing slightly. Seth opened his mouth to argue, but he saw the look on his mother's face, and shut it again.

"Let's eat," Ryan suggested. Kirsten nodded gratefully and they moved onto small talk about school and the girls, and other safe subjects. The phone rang as they were finishing, and Kirsten stood up to answer it.

"Hi Hailey," she said. "No, sorry, I took the afternoon off. Yeah I know…hold on one minute." Kirsten looked at the boys. "I'm going to take this in the office." She placed the phone down and they heard the door to the office shut.

"What's the matter?" Hailey asked her sister. As different as she and Kirsten were, Hailey knew when Kirsten was upset, and she could tell that her sister was extremely upset about something.

"He cheated on me," it came out in one fluent breath.

"What?"

"Sandy. He slept with someone else," Kirsten sunk down to sit on the chair, and somehow suddenly felt better. She had her sister, and Julie was surprisingly being supportive, and she didn't feel quite so alone.

"I'm going to kill him," were the first words out of Hailey's mouth. "How could he do this to you?"

"I don't know," Kirsten said sadly.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Kirsten repeated.

"Have you told Dad?"

"No," Kirsten said. "I don't want to tell him until I know what I'm going to do."

"He'll kill him."

"I know that. And as angry as I am at him, I don't want him to die."

"Understandable." Hailey was quiet on the other end for a minute letting the information sink in. Her brother-in-law worshiped her sister. They were perfect for each other. Sandy slept with someone else. It was unbelievable. "I'm going to book a flight home."

"What? No, Hailey, it's fine, I'm fine."

"Kirsten, please let me come home."

"Hailey…"

"You are not fine, so don't even pretend to be," Hailey told her older sister. "I know that you aren't fine. I know that you are falling apart. Let me come home. Let me help you."

"I just don't know what to do…do I forgive him?" Kirsten had been struggling with that question since he had told her, and she still wasn't any closer to the answer.

"I don't know sweetie," Hailey said. "That's up to you."

"I want to forgive him, and at the same time, I don't. Is that strange?"

"No. You love him." And that was what it always came back to for Kirsten. She did love him. She loved him more than anything else in the world, and as hard as it was for her to imagine forgiving him, it was even harder to imagine not being with him.

"I do," Kirsten replied softly.

"I'm coming home," Hailey repeated. Kirsten didn't argue this time. It would be good to see her sister. She missed her.

"Okay."

"I love you," Hailey told her older sister. "And everything's going to be okay." It was quite the role reversal, Hailey being the adult, and having to tell Kirsten that things were going to be all right.

"I love you too," Kirsten replied. "Be careful."

"I will. I'll see you soon." Kirsten hung up the phone and stepped out into the living room. She could hear the television in the other room, and Seth gleefully telling Ryan that he sucked, and she knew that they were playing a video game. She went to the kitchen to begin to clean up the dishes from dinner to find that the boys had already done that.

"Hey, Kirsten?" Ryan had looked up to see Kirsten standing looking slightly lost in the kitchen. "You want to play?" He offered up his controller and Kirsten nodded and smiled slightly and Seth scooted over to let her sit.

"So what do I do?"

"Hit XOXO, it's an unbeatable combination," Seth explained. By the end of the first round, Kirsten was actually laughing, and Seth and Ryan exchanged a grin over her head. It was nice to hear her laughing, it was nice to see her smile, and for the first time it dawned on both the boys. If Sandy and Kirsten did divorce, they would be okay. They would stay with Kirsten and she would eventually be okay. It would be hard at first, on all of them, sure, and both boys were praying that Kirsten and Sandy would work things out, but if the worst happened, it wasn't as terrifying a prospect anymore.

"Thanks for this," she said to Ryan as she slipped an arm around him and gave him a lopsided hug.

No matter what happened, they would be fine.

Okay, so let me know what you thought of this chapter. Back to studying for me. So make me feel better, and review!