See, I was quick with this one! I think because its finals week and I just don't want to study. I've come to determine that finals are the tool of the devil. And I killed a bunch of brain cells this past weekend that I really could use right now…nuts. I'm so close to the point of giving up and never studying for anything ever again. Good plan right? Who's with me! No more studying! Ever again! I'd be content to live in a box, or sponge off my parents if it meant no more of this crap. Anyway, make me feel better. Review please!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately own neither the song or the characters. If I did, do you think I would be studying US History right now? I doubt it.

Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat

And wait on your porch until you come back home

Oh, right, I can't find a flight

So I'll check the weather wherever you are

Cause I want to know if you can see the stars tonight

It might be my only right

"What are you going to do?" Julie asked as she and Kirsten sat on the Cohen's patio staring out at the ocean the next evening. "Have you decided yet?" Kirsten shook her head.

"No, not yet," she said. "I just…I'm so confused."

"Sandy wants to get back together I'm assuming?" Kirsten nodded.

"But he keeps telling me that I can take as much time as I want. That we'll do whatever I want…" She sighed. "But I know that I'm just…I have to make up my mind right? I mean, it's like for the time being, everything's just stopped. Waiting…life is on hold, you know? And it can't stay like that forever. I need to decide. I need to figure out if I can forgive him, or if…or if I can't…" Kirsten knew that she needed to make her mind. After her cry with Sandy in his motel room, she had given herself a time frame. Sandy had told her that there was no pressure on her making a decision, and so she had placed a time limit for herself.

All the time in the world couldn't change what had happened. It was as if she was waiting for someone to invent a time machine so that she could send Sandy back and tell him to not sleep with Rebecca. Tell him to leave the motel room before he slept with Rebecca and come home. Come home to her.

It was time to un-pause life.

She and Julie were quiet for a few minutes. Julie reached over and grabbed a cookie from the pile that Rosa had baked for Kirsten. Rosa didn't know exactly what was going on, but she knew that Sandy was at a motel and that Kirsten was constantly crying. She had baked Kirsten's favorite kind of cookie and left the plate on the table with a note attached that told Kirsten to let her know if she needed anything.

"You sure you don't want one?" Julie asked as she offered Kirsten a piece of the cookie.

"No, I haven't really been feeling all that great all day. I don't think that it would stay down," Kirsten admitted. All the crying had made her sick. But she hadn't started drinking yet. She found herself reaching for the bottles of vodka or wine that they had, and somehow Ryan and Seth would always come in at that point and interrupt her with a question or a request for a ride somewhere. Perfect timing, she thought to herself. She wasn't sure that the alcohol would stay down either. She and her toilet had become great friends since the night that her life fell apart.

"Mom?" Seth's voice floated through the house.

"Out here Seth," Kirsten called back. Seth, Ryan, and the girls came trooping through the house.

"Mom?" Marissa couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice. "What are you doing here?" It wasn't like her mother to be so…compassionate towards others.

"We were just talking," Julie said.

"How are you Mrs. Cohen?" Summer asked, and Kirsten could hear the pity in her voice. She had assumed that Seth would tell Summer about what was happening with his parents, but she still didn't want to be pitied, by anyone, including her son's girlfriend.

"I'm okay, Summer, thank you for asking," Kirsten plastered on a fake smile. She was perfecting the fake smiles.

"We just wanted to say goodbye," Seth said. "We'll be back later."

"On time?" Kirsten asked. Seth nodded.

"Well within the curfew boundaries," he assured his mother. He leaned down and to her surprise, gave her a hug.

"I love you, be careful," she told both boys as they disappeared back into the house.

"Has he called you today?" Julie asked. Kirsten didn't need to ask who. It was the same person who had dominated her thoughts for days now.

"Yes. He called and reminded me that he loves me and that he would never hurt me again," Kirsten said.

"Do you believe him?" Julie asked.

"I want to," Kirsten replied. She wanted so badly to just forgive Sandy and let him move back in. She wanted to move on and forget about this. She wanted to forget about what he had done, forget about Rebecca. But she didn't know how.

Her plan for un-pausing life was not working out so well.

Sandy finally dragged himself to his office that day and opened the door to find Rebecca sitting on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. His voice was cold and it surprised her.

"We need to talk," Rebecca said.

"There's nothing to talk about," Sandy said. "It was a mistake."

"I love you Sandy," Rebecca said suddenly. "I always have. If I could go back and change it so that I never would have left, I would in a heartbeat. I should have never given you up." Sandy shook his head.

"But you did, and I moved on. I married Kirsten, and we started a family, and I should have never put that in jeopardy. I should have never slept with you. It was a mistake, and one that hurt Kirsten. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do." He paused and looked up at Rebecca, he knew what he was going to say was going to hurt her, but it needed to be said. He needed to say it. "If we could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing." He knew the past couple of weeks he had constantly been placing Rebecca before Kirsten. For what reason? He loved Kirsten more than he had ever loved Rebecca. He loved Kirsten more than anything.

Rebecca wasn't the love of his life. Kirsten was. And now he was going to lose her, because he was an asshole. That was the only explanation for it. He was a total and complete asshole.

Rebecca stood there quietly for a moment.

"I'm sorry," she said finally. "I shouldn't have come back here. I shouldn't have called you…I shouldn't have…I guess I just figured that you had to feel the same way about me that I did about you. But clearly…you don't." She gathered up her things and started towards the door before turning around. "I hope that you and your wife can work things out." With that she was gone, and Sandy was left alone in his office. He looked over at his desk at the pictures sitting there.

Pictures of his family.

Pictures of his wife.

Grabbing one of Kirsten he sat down and studied. Studied her face, and her smile and wondered what he would have to do in order to get her back.

"Hailey!" Kirsten's face broke into a smile when she saw her sister. Hailey wrapped her arms around Kirsten and hugged her tightly.

"How are you doing?" She asked. Kirsten shrugged and fought off the tears, and avoided the question.

"I'm so glad to see you," Kirsten answered instead. "I've missed you!" Kirsten and Hailey had grown closer over last summer when Ryan and Seth were gone and she was falling apart.

"I've missed you too," Hailey replied. "You never answered my question."

"That's because I'm avoiding it," Kirsten said. "Why don't we get you settled and then we can do some serious talking?"

"Sounds great," Hailey replied as she and Kirsten lugged her bag up the stairs to one of the guest bedrooms.

"Unpack and I'll make us some tea," Kirsten said and went back downstairs to the kitchen. The phone rang as she was waiting for Hailey and she picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Kirsten," it was Sandy. She didn't have an answer for him yet, but it was the first of his daily phone calls to remind her that he loved her and would do anything to get her back.

"Hi Sandy," she replied as she placed the water on the stove to boil.

"How are you today?" It was the same conversation every time. And Kirsten answered back with the same answer.

"I'm okay. I don't know Sandy."

"Okay."

"I should know, but I don't. And I don't know when I'll know."

"That's okay." She was amazed that he was being so understanding about her needing more time. She had to admit that if it had been the other way around, she would be waiting impatiently for an answer. But he wasn't. Or at least, he wasn't letting it known that she was killing him by taking so much time.

"Okay." She knew that she would have to make up her mind soon. There was something that she wasn't telling Sandy. Something that would make a difference. Something that would make things more complicated than they already were if that was at all possible.

"I love you. And I'm sorry." The conversation ended like this every single time. I love you. I'm sorry.

I love you

I'm sorry.

Sandy apparently was a firm believer in repetition. Saying things a thousand times would change Kirsten's mind.

And Kirsten hated to admit it, but it was working. As soon as she hung up the phone, Hailey stepped into the kitchen.

"Who was that?" Kirsten sighed.

"Sandy…How was your flight?" Kirsten didn't want to talk about Sandy yet. She wanted mindless small talk.

"It was long," Hailey complained.

"Are you hungry?"

"Are you cooking?"

"No."

"Then yes." Kirsten threw a dish towel at her sister.

"Want to order in or eat out?" Kirsten asked. Hailey knew that Kirsten was leaning towards going out to eat, because it would be much harder to have a serious conversation in a restaurant. Kirsten was the queen of avoidance.

"Let's order in," Hailey suggested. She saw a look of fear flit across her sister's face and it was gone as quickly as it had come.

"Oh," Kirsten said pasting on a smile. "Great. What do you want to order?" Kirsten busied herself by getting the menus out of the drawer. She spread them out on the counter, and refused to make eye contact with Hailey.

"What's the matter?" Hailey asked. "I mean besides the obvious."

"It's just Sandy," Kirsten lied. Hailey narrowed her eyes at her sister.

"No, it's more than that." Hailey racked her brain for something that could be wrong. "Did you tell Dad about you and Sandy?" Kirsten shook her head, as a few tears escaped and slipped down her cheeks.

"No, not yet," Kirsten said. "I'm still trying to figure out how to tell him."

"Then what is it?" Hailey asked. Kirsten gripped the counter and finally took a deep breath and looked up at her sister.

"I'm pregnant."

Uh-oh spaghetti-o! I just really like that phrase. All right, you know what you have to do. Hit that little button down there and review. I, on the other hand, have to go back to learning about stupid-o US history. Why did I think it was a good idea to be a history major? Things that I think are a good idea usually never are. Such as the shots that capped off my evening on Saturday. Someone should have stopped me. Anyway, I'm rambling. Review please!