Fanfic by Blueroseulan

April 8,2005

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Chapter 1: Betrayal

The moon was at its peak as it's golden like rays touched the gloomy hills positioned carefully by mother nature herself. Providing much of an illumination for the man of the night, as far as poets could say, the lighted fixture in the sky would never really miss anything happening in the vast lands below.

A cloaked figure struggled to remain afoot while climbing one of the steepest parts of the hill. Almost comically slipping the person scrambled to get on top, knowing that a certain one was waiting.

"You're late, what took you so long?"

Kamiya Kaoru regarded the speaker with less cared grace accompanied by a huff and the raising of a delicate brow.

"Is that the kind of welcome you'd give after seeing me climb here on top?"

The man laughed, a deep masculine sound erupting from the far corners of his throat. "I always knew climbing wasn't a forte of yours."

Somewhat akin of a pout formed into her lips. "Took you long enough to figure that out." she replied with much sarcasm.

Again he smiled, this time friendly and a bit regretful. Giving her hand, he straightened her cloak and touched her hair to put it back into place.

"Is that the way you treat the next most powerful man in the land?" he asked his tone lacking vile and irritation. Instead, it was gentle and amused. A small smile touched her lips before she absent mindedly pushed a stray hair back firmly behind her ears. "You always were a bit too familiar with the fact that I can never be too prim and proper in front of anybody milord." she remarked, tone sardonic and derisive.

"And I love you for that." he answered smoothly before closing in to embrace her lithe form. At once, her mock anger faithfully dissipated into bubbles and she had to sigh, leaning into his muscular shoulder and wrapping her arms tighter around his form.

"Himura Kenshin, I can never get over the fact that you are such a sweet talker."

He smiled, his lips buried in the deep fall of her ebony tresses. He was glad, so damned glad to have her in his arms again. In a hill far more secluded than his soldiers would ever think of. Where both of them were away with the hustle and bustle in the palace, away with manners and teachers who bugged your ears till you fell asleep. Away from piercing eyes of every hypocrite that misjudged the woman he had loved for so long. He gave a sigh of relief. Yes, he was so goddamned glad about that.

"I missed you." she murmured in his ears, lips sending delicious tingles down in his spine.

"Sorry... I have so many things to do... so many lessons to learn.." he apologized by stroking her hair and gazing at her face, wanting her to see that he was genuinely regretful.

She understood... she always did... after all; he would become the next emperor of Japan in a matter of time. Of course he had so many things to do! There were manners to be learned, names and lives of other blue blooded relatives to decode, an army to serve... and oh! There were so many many things he should do! Yet here he was, snuggled beside her, inside her warm tight embrace. Kamiya Kaoru couldn't help but feel guilty... it was like she was stealing his time when he should be out there carrying out his orders dutifully just like any prince would... but again and again... here he was beside her...

"What's the matter koi?" he asked tender fingers lightly tilting her chin to gaze at her azure orbs tinged with sadness.

She told him... or rather was forced to tell him after being badgered consistently by that wise little mouth of his. She told him about everything she felt ever since their hidden relationship started, the guilt and the culpability she felt for snagging his precious time. He was sober for a minute and she was terrified the man would call it quits... Blameworthy she was, breaking off with the man she terribly loved was the least she wanted. The fact scared her more than ever and it was enough to cause tears in her eyes.

Noticing the glint of wetness fall in her cheeks, he lifted a thumb to carefully wipe the dampness off her lovely face.

"Kaoru..."he murmured, glad to have her attention," Don't think of that...I wouldn't have come for you if I knew you were just wasting my time... You know me... Know me more than anyone and you are also aware that you're the only one I indulge myself in... So don't you feel guilty about this... about us... because it's the only escape I have... I've ever had...I would have gone mad with all of Ttakeda-san's teachings without you as a lovely distraction... the man's a genius I tell you! He's going to drive me crazy as far as he can so there!" he added to lighten her mood.

And lighten it did for she smiled at his last comment. True, she knew him inside out. Knew how he reacted to things, knew how he felt, what he thought. And while he could be so much a lovable person with her, she knew that from the very start, he wasn't a man to be messed up with. He was gentle to her, soft spoken and patient, but not to others. 'Especially to the lazy ones.' she thought grimly. And while he was gentle and calm with her, it did not escape her notice that Kenshin Himura was a different man when it came to others. He was cool, unnerving and not a man to duel with. He was trained far too well and had been able to master the Hiten Mitsurugi ougi under his sensei Hiko Seijurou that his skills were by far unsurpassed. he was kind to the townspeople and never did he become a snub in the society, but when it came down to his men and his starting army, she knew the prince could be one hell of an asshole.

He saw the starting smile slowly blossoming in her lips. Delighted to have shared the burden, once again, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, almost crushing her.

"Kaoru... Kamiya Kaoru..."

"Hmm...?"

He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, the feel of her hair in his face, memorizing the jasmine scent she carried.

"I love you... I swear to the gods I love you... You are mine... always and forever... Mine koi... mine..."

She smiled, recognizing the need in his voice, the desperation he felt and she touched her lips against his softly managing to murmur before desire and want overcame his as he devoured her lips with a soul searing kiss.

"I know..."

CRASH!

He winced as the sudden shattering of his wine glass reverberated in the large four corners of his own bedroom. Far too occupied, he had failed to notice that the material had been dangerously tipping off his wooden desk and had fallen to stain his oriental rug with the color of wine. Sighing, he made a mental note to ask one of his servants to clean it up before he went to sleep.

It was such a night like this... when the moon was full...

He closed his eyes, taking a sharp inhalation of breath. Ah... memories... They always seem to bug you in the most inconvenient of times don't they? Shaking his head, he continued to gaze at his wide curtained window. His amber eyes, softly aglow mirrored the vast land scattered with high and low hills high lighted with the eerie glow of the moonlight...

Such a night like this...

Such a night like this...

It had been a couple of months since his coronation had come and gone. After his father had retired in a ripe age, Kenshin Himura found the power given to him to govern the whole country of Japan.

The power was staggering.

It was a hard duty. He had known it ever since he became prince. Not such an easy task to be given to a lazy ill witted fellow. His country needed reforms, changes and the structural community wouldn't allow it... It was so hard to convince the people to stop clinging to the old traditional ways of life. What they needed was change, civilization and he was just to bring about that. It was a hard job really, and it was only one of those that gave him headaches every night. He had always known his father bade his job well. It was only now; now that he was throned did he realize that the last emperor of the land left so many loose ends.

There were people to be fed, a whole cabinet to establish, an army to train, structures to be put up, and education to be improved... So many things and yet so little resources he had...

But aside those problems, the obstacles and the headaches to be overcome, even he could not deny that being an emperor was still a job with many benefits.

Money.

Land.

Power.

Women.

Everything... as far as his eyes could see... was his. From everything to everyone... it all belonged to him. He had fame, wealth and riches, and though he tried not to live in luxury, an emperor was entitled to live in one. Money poured in his fingers as fast as three fingers ticking off. Women were practically begging to have him as their own husband, power was in no question.

But still, why wasnt he happy?

Again, looking at the fully lit moon and the rolling hills presented into his eyes, he was faced with yet another painful truth and reality of his life

He wasn't happy because he didn't have her.

The one thing he most wanted, one person he most cherished and loved, he didn't have.

Closing his eyes in an attempt to forget her sweet smiling face, he tried to erase her, to clear his fogged up mind with the vivid memories that still ran loose.

It was yet another time when the moon was full. Everything was quite the same, with the location and the scenery... all, but the message he would be belaying her.

"I'm leaving..."

Lapis lazuli eyes quick to stare at his hunched form, there was no denying the terrified look she carried in her delicate face.

"wh-What?"

It was painful... too painful to even look at her straight in the eye, but Kenshin knew telling the truth was better... rather than telling her a white lie.

"Wh..where are you going?" she asked, her tone alarmingly soft and breath-like.

"To England..." he answered in a tone very much like hers.

"England! But that's so very far away!" Tears had started to slip out of her expressive eyes. Once, twice, streaming.

He cursed inwardly, he was helpless and there was nothing he could do about the situation. The king had ordered him to be shipped in the said land so he could train and hone his other skills in fighting, though carrying a heavy heart, he knew better than to disobey his father's will.

"How- how long will you be gone?" she asked voice meek and small that it broke his heart.

"Fo-for... a long time..." he managed to reply, his statement uncertain and questioning.

That was enough. Truly enough to send her knees collapsing to the ground and making her look like a piled heap of bones convulsing to the ground. Though he tried to pacify her, to assure her, she could not be comforted and she continued to weep.

Her sobs still rung heavily in his ears like an old record gone wrong. In the dark of the night, where he lay wide awake alone in his bed, he could swear he could still hear her low moans of weeping and torment... That perhaps was the main reason for his goddamned headache when he woke up in the morning. Hearing his horses being mounted back to the stables, once again, his mind lurched itself back into a flash back.

They were about to depart, with almost half of his army accompanying him and the king towards the ship he would be riding towards England. It would take many a week to get there and many a month for him to master everything that will be taught to him. He sighed; disagreeing was never his option was it?

As the captain shouted the signal, horses started to walk in a steady trot, their hooves going clip-clop-clip-clop against the hard stone of the floor. His horse, Midori, was beginning to follow the others when he heard a loud shrill scream that belonged to no one else but hers.

Kaoru.

"KENSHIN!"

He swerved his horse back, almost jerking himself off his seat as he desperately craned his neck to find her face. Guards had already closed their large circle, their main reason were to protect the king and the prince.

"Kaoru..."

They had seized her just about as she was lunging her form desperately towards him. Heavy iron-like grips that had gripped her arm forcefully had prevented her from nearing him in even a ten meter distance. She was screaming his name and her face was crumpled into a pitiful form. 'So far... so far from the beautiful face I remember...' he thought. He could see that she was struggling, struggling to free her arm from their tight grasp and reach him. It was impossible though, what with their hold in her body.

She would have collapsed, would have suffered many blows from the palace samurais had it not been the swift strict order coming from none other than the prince himself.

"STOP."

At once, they did.

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER."

Again, they did.

Allowing Midori to canter next to her, he jumped down, as soon as he reached her and swarmed off the growing crowd that had started to immense themselves with the racket that had just formed. Nearing her, he watched the display of emotions in her face as she raised her tearful, dirt smeared eyes on him. He could swear he saw happiness and relief--before--

Before they were all at once changed into surprise, anger and into betrayal with what he had done, for he did nothing but stoop down in her level, helped her to her feet and pat her hair as if she was just a mere girl set about from a good telling off. Eyes turning into hard furious cobalt, angry tears began to well themselves from her orbs and slip past into her face. She was just about to say something when he turned his heel against her and simply walked away, leaving her stunned and feeling betrayed.

It almost seemed to him that the mirror reflected her face, and not his own when he gave a look at it. Even at this time... no amount of distance or time could replace the drilling image his mind had remembered ever since his departure. A mixture of hate, anger, betrayal and pain was not just merely reflected by her pale ashened face, her eyes spoke volumes and even until now, he couldn't stop blaming and indeed cursing himself for doing what he had done in public. He was ashamed, yes, and he was a coward. As time passed, he couldn't help but still ask himself why he had done that kind of thing... that kind of gesture… He should have hugged her, kissed her, and assured her that everything would soon be all right after he had gone back. He must have had touched her face, savored the feel of her lips against his before he went away and then probably, he wouldn't be standing alone in his bedroom right now. He couldn't help but ask himself if his action reflected his embarrassment. The emotion that stemmed with the fact that Kamiya Kaoru, the woman the next emperor of Japan had so dearly loved-- was nothing but just a mere commoner. A poor orphan who spun thread for a living. Was he ashamed of her? Ashamed of her lack of royalties? Nobilities? Did he do such a thing because she carried no robes? No horses? No maids?

No...

Then why?

Why indeed.

Was he afraid of what his father would say? How people would react once they knew his relationship with the girl existed? Would they disapprove him as next emperor if they knew the truth?

No...

Then why?

Why indeed.

Shaking his head he almost let out a laugh, finding humor twisted with irony and sarcasm, anger and regret. It would be of no use now... No use in wallowing here in self regret and anger... no use...I'm too late... too late to claim her as mine... too late... DAMN you Himura for being fucking too late...

So much carried was he that he never realized the feel of wet films tracing light paths over his time worn cheeks and over his scar. Nor did the pain register in his mind when he slammed his fist hard against the wall powerful enough to create a dent in it. Everything was unfelt... everything was ignored, except for the memory that had painfully presented itself on the man's irrationalized mind.

From the first time Yukishiro Enishi had stepped in his court not more than two months ago, Kenshin instantly recognized him as an opponent or a rival when it came to opinions and point of views, but also in strength and skill. The man carried an air of arrogance, pride and vanity that Kenshin knew would soon grate on his own nerves. But still, the man certainly had one of the highest positions in his army and he was forced to respect him in some degree.

Gulping down his wine, he waited till it made his head light and dizzy before he leaned his head on the strong hard rest of his bed. Anger soon began to well up on his senses again, no longer washed away by the sharp jutting feel of wine. It was now, only now did he once again the maddening fury he had once felt. Damn you Enishi... GODDAMN YOU! You stole her from me... you stole what was mine...

His marriage announcement came as no surprise, for everyone knew that Yukishiro Enishi was a womanizer. Though many felt disgusted by his presence in the army, skill and strength compelled them to abide the rules. Power could do that you know.

It was the woman he was marrying that made him bewildered, astounded, astonished enraged, maddened and whatever emotions of the like surge hard and deep into his chest, lunging straightforward to his heart.

Sake and wine had the soldiers tipsy and in for some good food even before Enishi had presented his bride. For respect and honour, he had also invited Kenshin--now the official emperor of Japan to the celebration and he had willingly accepted it, glad to find a distraction amidst work and paper.

But nothing could have prepared him with the sight he saw upon the presentation of Yukishiro Enishi's wife.

There, walking gracefully and fluidly was a woman dressed in ethereal white, face covered by a light veil. She was beautiful, he could tell and he inwardly jeered Enishi as a man with good luck to find such a beautiful woman. Everyone cheered and roared compliments as she stepped up beside him and waited patiently for him to uncover the veil.

Shock, horror and surprised dawned on the face of the young emperor as he recognized the smooth soft face the veil concealed.

It was her...

"Gentlemen... your highness... I would like to present to you... Kamiya Kaoru... soon to be Yukishiro Kaoru."

Clamping his eyes shut with anger, he remembered the felt shock, stupor, the maddening rage that had consumed him all too much and had prevented him from finishing the party. He recalled the betrayal he felt and how quickly she avoided and dodged the smoldering gazes he sent in her way. Animosity had been quick to build inside his heart, as it was now and as palms balled into fists, he cursed himself, inwardly and loudly for letting go of something that truly belonged to him.

"CURSE YOU HIMURA FOR LETTING GO OF HER! GODDAMNNIT YUKISHIRO FOR SNATCHING WHAT IS MINE! I SWEAR! I'M GOING TO GET HER BACK! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! SHE'S MINE AND I'LL GET WHATEVER BELONGS TO ME!"

End of chapter 1…

What to do you think of it? Angsty? Too much? Please review… please no more flames…