Love Song

Chapter Eighteen- Breaking the Cycle

By darthelwig

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I do not own Saiyuki. This story is rated M. Slash warning!

Thanks to GhostHelwig for saving this story from the rubbish bin.

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Dougan approached his prey warily, expecting the blonde to turn around at any second- but Sanzo remained oblivious to his presence, lost in the thoughts that consumed him.

Dougan was not about to pass up this golden opportunity. This was his chance to take what he'd waited so long for Sanzo to give- to show him what pleasures a real man could give him.

He was about to fulfill his fantasies, and excitement coursed through his veins like a drug, enhancing every one of his senses. He could smell Sanzo's skin and the cigarette burning forgotten between his fingers. He heard Sanzo sigh, and the sound shot straight to his rising arousal, almost drawing a moan from his own suddenly parched throat. His eyes feasted on the blonde's lean form, admiring the graceful lines and angles of his body beneath his clothes.

He wanted to bare that pale skin to his hungry gaze and taste it on his tongue. He'd wondered for so long what Sanzo's skin would taste like and how it would feel beneath his fingers. Now he was about to find out.

He managed to make his way directly behind Sanzo without being noticed. Or perhaps the blonde was aware of his presence and finally welcomed his attentions? Either way, the end result would be the same. He was about to find out what it felt like to bury himself deep inside the haughty, arrogant beauty's delectable body.

He reached out and wrapped eager fingers around Sanzo's thin, bony wrist, pulling him backwards and trapping him against his body with his other arm. The cigarette dropped from numbed fingers and Sanzo tensed up immediately, beginning to struggle, but Dougan had been prepared for that.

He turned and shoved the blonde roughly against the building, trapping him. He felt his prey stiffen and freeze, and he grinned, pressing his face into Sanzo's golden hair.

"And now you're mine," he said.

….

Sanzo was deep in memory when a hand closed painfully over his wrist.

In his mind, he felt Shuuei's firm grip as the man captured his flailing fists. He could hear Shuuei's voice cajoling, soothing, even as he pinned the struggling boy against him.

In Sanzo's mind, it was Shuuei who pulled him backwards, Shuuei's body he was pressed against, Shuuei's erection he could feel pushing against him once again. His startled mind could not distinguish the memory from reality, but he struggled against the firm grip holding him anyway, panic welling up in his chest and threatening to choke him.

Then he was pushed against a wall with bruising force- memory and reality melding together in his mind as one mimicked the other. He was once again being pinned against a cold wall by a strength greater than his own, a man's hot breath on his neck and a noticeable hardness being pressed firmly against him.

His panic overwhelmed him as he remembered what was coming- the terrible pain and humiliation as he was violated, an alien length thrust inside his vulnerable body and ripping him apart. He froze, unable to move, as unable to defend himself as the boy that he had been.

Then the voice came, shockingly high and smooth compared to the voice in his head. The difference jolted him out of the memory, Shuuei's cries of pleasure fading in his mind as he returned to reality.

He wasn't a child anymore. His name wasn't Kouryuu. He was Sanzo- Genjyo Sanzo. And the weight against his back wasn't Shuuei's. Shuuei was dead. He had killed him.

"All mine," the voice said again as a hand fumbled at his jeans, yanking them open, and recognition flooded his mind. Suddenly he could see again, his eyes focused and clear, and he struggled against the bastard holding him, trying to free his arms and fight. But he couldn't shake off the tight hold Dougan already had over him, and he growled in fury as the questing hand dipped into his jeans and caressed him.

"Get the fuck off me," Sanzo hissed, and Dougan responded with a chuckle.

"We're just getting started," he said, pressing his hips more firmly against the blonde. Sanzo could feel the hard length of Dougan's erection against him and he strangled the sudden panic that threatened to return.

He didn't waste any more words. He began to twist and turn, trying desperately to free himself, but every effort seemed to be wasted against Dougan's hold.

Dougan began to inch Sanzo's pants down with his one free hand, baring his pale flesh one inch at a time. Sanzo couldn't fight, couldn't loosen that firm grip Dougan had on him… he was helpless.

And suddenly Goku was there, pulling Dougan off of him and delivering a crushing blow to the bastard's face. Dougan screamed as blood began to flow freely from his broken nose and he pressed both hands to his face to protect himself.

But Goku wasn't finished. He punched Dougan in the side and Sanzo thought he heard something snap, and then Dougan fell to the ground, tears streaming down his face as he cried out in agony.

"Don't you ever touch Sanzo again! Do you hear me?" Gou yelled, furious. He stood over Dougan's crumpled form, fists clenched and golden eyes flashing in anger, fighting down his sudden and overwhelming bloodlust.

Sanzo took a moment to try to steady his ragged breathing and pulled up his pants. His hands shook as he closed the zipper and he forced himself to calm down. It was over. He was safe. Goku was there and everything was okay.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep, calming breaths, then opened them again and went to stand beside Goku. He looked down at Dougan, bent and broken on the ground, his eyes cold and murderous.

"Come near me again and I'll kill you like I did the last bastard who tried to do that to me," he said, and Dougan's eyes widened in shock and fear. Sanzo knelt down next to Dougan and, using his hand as a gun, pointed right between his would-be rapist's terrified eyes.

"I shot him right between the eyes," he said coldly, pressing his fingertip to Dougan's sweaty, pale skin. "Bang."

He stared at Dougan for a moment longer, letting the point sink home, before standing again and laying a hand on Goku's still trembling arm.

"Let's go home," he said quietly, and Goku nodded, casting one more angry glance Dougan's way before turning and following his angel out of the darkness and back into the light.

Dougan lay where he had fallen for a long time, fighting down the pain and thanking every god that had ever existed for his life. He knew how very close he had come to dying- if not at Sanzo's hands, then at the boy's.

Life had never seemed so sweet, even with the pain lancing through his side and face. Inexplicably, he began to cry, and his sobs were accompanied by a laughter he couldn't control.

He was shaking, he was hysterical, but he was alive.

….

Sanzo walked four whole blocks before his knees gave out. He stumbled and would have fallen if Goku hadn't been there to catch him. He let himself lean into Goku's solid warmth, needing the strength the boy was offering him.

"Sanzo, are you okay?" Goku asked, golden eyes clouded with concern. He held Sanzo gently, as if he were some fragile thing that would break under the slightest wrong touch.

Sanzo took a deep breath and disentangled himself from Goku's embrace. He was shaky, but he could stand again, and his lips tightened in grim satisfaction.

"I'm fine," he said, wiping the back of one hand across his eyes. He felt as if he were waking from some kind of nightmare, even though the fear and danger had both been very real. His heart was still racing and he could feel the adrenaline rush of terror lurking just beneath the surface of his calming emotions.

Goku apparently didn't believe him when he said he was okay, because the boy slipped an arm around his waist and hugged him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, faintly bemused and trying not to show it. Goku just smiled up at him sweetly, with those innocent but far from naïve eyes, and Sanzo felt the boy's hand slide down to his ass.

"I'm trying to make you feel better," Goku said, his grin broadening. "Is it working?" he asked, squeezing Sanzo's ass and pulling him closer.

Sanzo's eyes narrowed as he considered his young, almost-lover's smiling face. The boy looked much too pleased with himself.

"You're a damn tease," he growled, tangling his long fingers in Goku's hair and kissing him forcefully. He didn't stop until Goku was breathless, then watched in amusement as the boy gasped for air, trying to regain his composure.

"I feel better already," Sanzo said, putting an arm around Goku's shoulders and smiling- and for once his smile felt completely natural.

"Come on. Let's go home," he said, and Goku nodded slowly, still a little dazed from the kiss.

Sanzo walked away, secure in the knowledge that Goku would follow, and for once he was truly happy that he wasn't alone.

….

Gyokumen Koushu stared at Ni with eyes that betrayed none of her true emotions. Ni was intrigued by the way this woman always managed to hide her true self from him while not hiding anything at all. He knew all of her motivations, he understood her goals, and yet… there was still some part of her she managed to keep secret from him. He was unable to see what lurked behind those eyes. Her thoughts were a mystery to him. Every time he thought he had her figured out, she surprised him again. Perhaps that was why he'd stayed around for so long. She was a challenge, and he was a man who thrived on those.

And right now those secretive eyes were focused on him. Her close scrutiny would have made him a bit uneasy if he hadn't been so sure of his position already, but she needed him right now and both of them knew it. There was no one else who could do her dirty work like he could.

"You wanted to see me, my lady?" he asked mildly, keeping any trace of his thoughts from his voice. Her eyes narrowed and Ni got the sinking feeling she was deeply disappointed with him.

"You were supposed to have eliminated Sanzo and his group, Ni. Why haven't you done so yet? We're running out of time!" She sounded genuinely angry now, and he smiled at her reassuringly, trying to placate her.

"Believe me. They'll be taken care of. I'm simply waiting for the right moment to strike," he said, knowing he sounded cool and unconcerned. Lady Koushu glared at him and he could've sworn she had to refrain from snarling.

"You'd better be telling me the truth, Ni. I know you've already failed to break them up. If that was the best you could do, I'm disappointed. You don't want to make me unhappy."

Ni had to force the surprise away before it showed on his face. So she'd had him followed? That was good to know. How little she trusted him!

He cleared his throat and smiled shyly.

"Well, my lady, it's true! I've failed you!" He played up the melodrama with his voice, sounding both sorrowful and guilty for having failed her- his liege. He was tempted to laugh at his own joke, but she didn't seem very amused by his antics.

"I have a much better plan this time, my lady."

"I know that," she said. "Don't mess this one up, Ni. Your plan sounds good, but too many things could go wrong. No matter what, I want Sanzo kept off that stage!"

"Understood," Ni said, feigning meekness.

"We must give Kougaiji the chance to make his mommy proud," she said, smiling cruelly, and Ni nodded.

"Don't you worry," he said. "They won't know what hit them." His voice was gleeful as he contemplated the show that was about to begin.