The Emperor and I
Standard Disclaimers Apply! KNK does not belong to me. You hear me? Please don't sue!
AN: I would just like to say, to the others that tell me that this is so much of a dark fic and Kenshin's being too much of a possessive being, well… there are other fics wherein he's so much more possessive! I'm not saying I'm against those (Actually I love em ) what I'd like to say is that, Kenshin's partly Battousai here. And we all know how dark that persona can be. I really purposely made him possessive coz if he isn't… then he wouldn't have the will to fight Enishi. (As you all know, Enishi's the main villain here.)
Oh dear I'm ranting on! Arrgh! Please REVIEW! Need I say it again?
Previously on Chapter 4:
Restless brown eyes traveled the emperor's features. "Kenshin, word has gotten in that Hajime Saitou, leader of the first squad Shinsen patrol is planning for a revolt in the Satsuma. Knowing what kind of bastard he is, if we don't move now, the samurais in Shinseki and Yokohama will be involved as well! We have to do something about it!
From her distance, Kaoru watched his features shift from light into extremely maddened. This caused worry to filter her mind and upon hearing the other man's words, Kaoru suddenly felt a sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach. Sparing him a look, he caught her gaze and their thoughts united as one.
War has broken out…
And everything will change…
Chapter 5:
The hours seem to drag on, making almost every passing moment unbearable for Kaoru. For after Sanosuke had departed with ill-fated news, Kenshin had suddenly stormed out of the room, face clouded with the intensity of the sudden rush of his emotions leaving her as a child would do to an abandoned toy.
Of course it's but natural for him to act like that…she rationalized as she crossed the wideness of the room to sit on his bed. Plopping down with a loud sigh, she allowed her mind to dance in the clear empty spaces of oblivion.
Is this right?
Of course it isn't…
But Why?
You're a married woman now.
But Kenshin said it doesn't matter… I belong to him.
Oh really? He doesn't have a branding when it comes to you. Moreover, it is none other than Enishi who owns you now.
The mental debate she was waging across herself was all the more bearing Kaoru's esteem down. For since the first waking moment of her life inside the emperor's palace, it seemed to the woman that she was thrown in a hurried frenzy of emotions, a flurry of good and bad intentions that made her head spin wildly.
Bored as she was, she strutted towards the wide balcony of his room, slightly blushing as memories of two naked beings wrapped in only a blanket came in her mind. The night was cool and she couldn't help but shiver against the biting wind on her skin. Trailing her gaze, she could have been captured by the picturesque sight the wide Tokyo skies could have made had her thoughts not been muddled in a dark pool of thinking.
What should I do next? She thought, eyes clouded with worry and agitation. Never had she felt so lost, so conflicted with emotions. I love Kenshin… the gods all know that. But I am married to Enishi. I know it is not rightful for me to love another while I am bound in front of the eyes of the gods by marriage… It was hard for her, utterly so, for being tied down by the heavy weight of being linked to Enishi bore down her soul. Had it been Kenshin that I had married… I wouldn't be suffering like this… But that was only a passing thought. It was painfully obvious it was the past now. An opportunity long forgotten to be grasped. There was no use in weeping over that matter. It's like crying over spilt milk they say.
But why is it that even if she knew the truth, tears still came down her eyes?
Because I am hurt… and I am caged…
Caged.
Yes she was a caged woman. Town between two pulling frictions of two different and dangerous men. She'd rather die than go back to Enishi; his beatings had far marked himself in her mind. But where do I go? I can't stay here in the imperial palace… Rumors would start to circulate about me and it would only serve to hurt and distract Kenshin…and he can't afford to be distracted now…. What with the war starting… and what about me? I just can't stay locked up in a four corner room for the rest of my life! I don't want to spend my moments just lying down and lazing around just like what courtesans do!
By now, tears were trailing down her cheeks in huge wide paths and her breath was coming out in sobs. She was scared; she was confused and all conflicting emotions of the like.
Kami-sama…mou sukoshi dake…onegaishimasu…
The court was now empty, whereas it was almost bursting with excited and agitated men before. Rubbing his temples wearily, the emperor was the least to say, tired of commanding his men to behave like proper soldiers rather than young fools who had just gotten wind of a new fad. They were nonetheless excited with the war. Not at all scared to lose their lives. War was something that made them feel alive, making their blood sing in each nerve fiber of their beings. Coupled with this was the honor to fight in the name of their country and for their emperor, a thought that provoked serious mind thinking for the latter.
"Oi Kenshin, meetings over. Yah might want to take that frown off yah face." Sanosuke jeered, elbowing the older man slightly in the ribs. Shooting him with a darkened gaze Kenshin only sat silent. After the gathering, it was only Sanosuke who had remained in the room with him, as what he usual does ever since the new emperor's reign. He was sometimes a pain, as Kenshin would like to put it, but more often than not, he allowed humor to seep in back to his mind and allocate the turmoil raging inside.
Deciding not to be undaunted, the young fighter once again tried to capture his attention. "Oi Buddha man. Talk to me. Talk to me oh lively deity one! Speak about the chick you're holding in the magical chambers of thee… Give me a vision on how beautiful this creature could be! Tell me oh wise Buddha man!" he joked, complete with the proper hand gestures that almost made Kenshin laugh.
Almost.
Sanosuke had a frown in his face after he had finished telling the whole story to him. Even so including the fact that Kaoru was a married woman and was indeed married to Enishi. The younger man was shaking his head after that.
"So what are you gonna do next man?"
"What do you mean Sano?"
"Oh for Chrisssake! You can't keep her locked up in your room forever!" Sanosuke exclaimed, clapping a hand on his forehead, unbelieving how dense the young emperor could be. "Do you really believe Enishi would let you keep his wife? Are you nuts? And you're planning to lock her away from the piercing eyes of everybody in here? Oh shit man!"
He would have answered defensively (Though not one coherent thought entered his brain) and their argument would have waged on, had they not been interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, showing an enraged Enishi.
"WHERE IS SHE!"
The guards that were restraining him could do nothing to fight the animalistic power of the man.
"What are you doing here Yukishiro?" the emperor answered coolly, even though his heart was beating a hundred paces above the norm.
"I CAME TO GET MY WIFE! NOW TELL ME WHERE IS SHE?"
He gave the maddened man no answer, merely shot him with a dark emboldened gaze making the other's fury rise.
"I KNEW IT. YOU'RE HIDING HER FROM ME ARE YOU! NO DOUBT, THE EMPEROR DESIRES MY WIFE! HAH! THAT SLUT? AND I'M SURE SHE'S IN YOUR ROOM ISNT SHE?"
His blood was boiling, though he was restraining hard to keep his face blank and cool. There were guards in there and he could not afford to show them that what Enishi was saying is true. Enough was his barging in the court and to call his Kaoru a slut…
"It's none of your business Enishi Yukishiro. If I were you, I'd take a good night sleep as I was to lead the front command army in the battle in Satsuma that is to take place tomorrow!"
The words were enough to knock Enishi out of his maddened rage. News such as sudden as this, was ample to take his mind away from his stupid whore. Gasping out in stupor, his expression gave the emperor the cue to signal Sanosuke to lead the man out. Nodding, the bigger man crossed the room, and with the help of ten other palace guards, dragged Enishi out of the room.
Seeing the man gone, Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief. It was good that he had escaped from Enishi this once, but would he be able to dodge his questionings after he came back from the war. Certainly, the emperor had no intentions to hand down the woman he had forever marked as his.
Kaoru…
Upon the sudden departure of her name in his lips, he rose up and started to head down towards their room, mind in turmoil as he reflected on what Sanosuke had said earlier.
You can't keep her locked up in your room forever!
True, he would have to find a better way, but he also knew Kaoru hated being held as captive, hidden under one's penetrating gaze. She was a woman who loved people, deserved sunshine and immersed herself in helping others. A woman with such compassionate and loving a heart should not be at all locked up.
After the war… things would calm down… and I could finally settle the score with Enishi… after the war… Bile as it was in his tongue, he knew Enishi was a vital part of his army. He could not afford to throw Enishi now, what with Saitou Hajime as the leader of the revolting group. Enishi was one of the bases of his army and the said man knew this information too, giving him an egoistic pride to stand up against the emperor and amongst his men.
That greedy cruel man… I can't stop thinking how my Kaoru ended up marrying him… geesh…
Speaking of Kaoru, he saw the look of desolation and alarm flash in her face before he went away to meet his men. Recalling back, he felt sorry for not giving her even the slightest reassurance that everything would be alright. Mind too clouded to even think of romance and sex; it was only now that he thought of her again. Shaking his head, he made a mental note to ask her forgiveness as he opened their room to be met by a sight that made him retrace back his steps in a frenzied manner.
The room was empty and she was nowhere in sight.
The wind was harsh and rain was pelting down to bite against her skin. Seemingly for her, the weather matched the cruel intensity of her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was leave, and yet, it seemed to her that it was the only rightful thing to do. Being left alone in Kenshin's room gave her the time to think and decide what was the next probable thing to do and the only answer she could arrive on was to travel to the next town and start anew from there. Knowing Enishi, he would have easily gotten over her and no doubt, in less than a few weeks, he would have found himself another suitable woman to marry.
Kenshin…
His name whispered itself on the wind.
I'm sorry… but I just can't stay any longer… our love was doomed from ever since the beginning and I am able to think that it would not change… when I am gone, then you can find yourself someone who deserves you love more than I do… a woman you can never be ashamed to show in front of everybody, free from the guilt of loving her while she is chained to another… you deserve so much more Kenshin and I so much less…
She had reached the hill that had served as their rendezvous spot so many years had passed. A bittersweet smile tugged at her lips as she recalled the joy and exhilaration she felt as a woman of eighteen whenever she met with him in their 'hidden' and 'secret' spot. No mater how childish and how mushy it was, it was still something that was the best on Kaoru's book. Scrambling to stand on top, tears once again well in her eyes as she thought of the countless embraces, the warm kisses and the calming reassurance he had given her on this same spot. Taking no notice of the rain or the fact that she was thoroughly drenched, she only stood silently, thoughts focused on the flashbacks that would probably be her last, the wind blowing at her face and her coat billowing towards one direction.
Kenshin…she thought holding her coat tighter to herself, ebon wisps of hair somewhat escaping the hooded clothing. Please take care of yourself… remember that… I will always love you… no matter what happens and that my leaving was really not my choice but the choice of destined fate… forgive me Kenshin...
Aishiterru…
From afar, someone stood entranced, awed with the beauty of the lone figure that was standing atop the hill, with the rain and the wind blowing at her form in a somewhat paining manner, the moon serving to illuminate the distraught, saddened finalization she wore on her delicate face, wetted by what seemed to be undistinguishable tears and rain.
She was about to leave, knowing that if she stayed longer, her resolve would finally crumble. Moving to hug her coat, heavy with rain, tighter in her chest, she started to return at the foot of the hill when a sudden strong hand grasped her shoulder.
Enishi!
"Don't."
The voice was familiar, but it was painted with desperate yearning and desolation she knew he was straining so hard not to show. She need not look to see the owner of the voice, it was a melody she had tuned at the back of her mind for several years, memorized the wonderful, rich baritone that served to lull her to sleep in many a night.
"Kenshin…" she murmured, undecided if she was to be aghast or was to be thankful.
And in response, he reached out to crush her lips against his.
The pain, the guilt, and the desperation she had tried so hard to conquer all but crashed on to her form like a wave of nausea, making her feel light headed and dizzy. Caging her arms around his neck, she threw caution to the wind, uncared if both of them where drenched thoroughly, and drank in his kiss, as he was doing with hers. This is what I've wanted… what I need… It may be not rightful… but I don't care… I need to be with Kenshin… I am a fool to even think of leaving him!
Had it been any other situation, Kenshin might have thought of the night as a romantic wonderful escapade, with the rain pelting down on two young lost lovers, their warm embrace seeking to bade off the biting wind against their skin, their kisses soft and smooth on each one's lips.
But that was not so.
The panic, the fear, the desperation all boiled down to one as his tongue desperately seeked to crush hers. Tightening his hold on her, he never wanted to let go, like a little lost child who had just regained its mother. He clutched her waist in a desperate grip, even as she slightly protested. It was obvious that he was far too consumed with the raging dementia in his consciousness.
Finally, when the need for air became too much, he released her lips, but not his tight hold on her. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he inhaled her scent, thanking the gods that he was just on time to find her.
He's terrified…she realized as she felt him shake from underneath his touch. Reaching out, she allowed the tears to fall, her sobs escaping as proof on how sorry she really was.
"Don't ever do that again… don't leave me again… don't kill me Kaoru…." He murmured, feeling the bitter sting of his tears against the cold splash of rain on his rain. He was scared, he was terrified, he had panicked and one could never decipher the thankfulness and relief he had felt when he saw the lone figure standing atop the hill.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… amidst all of these I had wanted to escape… just like what I've done before… I'm sorry…" she sobbed, guilt shooting across her chest. It was not right, but it was the truth. To hell with all of them… I don't care if I stayed locked up in his room… as long as I'm with him… everything will be alright…
He shook his head, not wanting to hear her apologies, knowing that it was all unfounded.
"Stop crying… I can't bear to see you cry… Everything will turn out fine… please… there's nothing to be sorry about." He punctuated his last words with a tender kiss on her forehead, watching in satisfaction as a small smile curled up in her lips.
"Come… it's not safe to speak here. Let's just go back." He declared, memories of Enishi suddenly resurfacing in his mind making him grip her wrist tightly as he led her towards back to the imperial palace.
"Kenshin…" she murmured. Her vision was honestly spinning, mind becoming hazy and fuzzy as she tried to regain her balance and focus her view to the man walking in front of her. No sooner had she breathed out his name did she lose control and her world finally became black.
"KAORU!"
Panic and alarm gripped his voice when he realized that she had lost her consciousness. Managing to catch her falling form before she hit the ground, he had her cradled in his arms as he ran with god like speed towards the palace, intending to call for the lady doctor even with such deep a night.
From behind the thick dark shadows of the trees, a form stirred, adjusting his cloak, he felt his blood rage. He had seen everything. From their kiss and her collapse, he had seen it all… The sword he had hidden from under his cloak would have gone out had it not been with the passing thought that crossed his mind. Too soon. An attack would be too soon. He would have to wait… Wait for the right time. If only he had the proper timing, then ultimately, this would serve as the emperor's downfall… With this conclusion, he resheathed his sword back into his saba as he moved to disappear in the dark abyss of the stormy night.
The gentle colors of dusk were slowly filtering the skies by the time she opened her eyes. Still confused with what had happened, she placed a palm atop her forehead to breathe an annoyed sigh. Her temperature had not receded and she was still feeling feverish…
Kenshin…
She noticed him the same time his name whispered on her lips. He was seated on the floor beside her. Head cradled at the hook of his arm. He must have fallen asleep while watching me… she rationalized, feeling romanticized with the thought. Smiling, she slowly lowered a hand to stroke his face, careful not to wake him up.
Too bad he was a light sleeper.
The moment her touch had registered, he was up; sleep immediately disappearing at the back of his mind. Smiling, he reached to stroke her face.
"Ohayou." She breathed out.
"Ohayou. How are you feeling?" he inquired, reaching to wet the rag on her forehead.
"Slightly feverish. But I'm okay now. Thanks to you." She smiled. Clasping their hands and lacing her slender fingers with his. "Kenshin…" she started, feeling the tears again.
She found herself unable to speak for he had silenced her by placing a light digit on her lips.
"Hush now love. Do not apologize… It was my fault… I should never have caged you here in my room… I should have considered your feelings… your needs… I became selfish love." He admitted. Guilty as she was, she couldn't help but cradle his face in her palms.
"I know… but somehow I've realized that no matter what happens… no matter what obstacles I have to face as long as I'm with you… as long as we're together, everything would be bearable… it wouldn't be called a problem anymore because you're with me…" she smiled, a stray tears somewhat falling in her cheek.
"Aishiterru Himura Kenshin." She whispered, placing her lips on his in a tender kiss.
"Aishiterru Kamiya Kaoru." He answered, catching her sapphire orbs with a tender look.
Their gaze was enough to comprehend that everything was fine… everything forgiven and pushed at the dark corners of the room. Moving slightly, she motioned for him to lie beside him, a thing he did with no hesitation. Sighing contentedly when she felt him wrap his arms around her slender waist, she cuddled her face at the crook of his neck and willed herself to sleep.
The court was brimming with people, mainly soldiers and members of the imperial diet. Each one excited and agitated as to know who had won the war. It was a short one at that thought. Mainly a small revolt that lasted only for a month. Naturally, a war would take six months or years even so and yet, this one was over in such a small period of time.
The emperor himself was anxious. He had sent Sanosuke to collect news about the details of the revolt. From the dead to those who would return. He could trust with Sanosuke with that and as the door opened, a look of satisfaction and gratitude to the gods flashed in his face as he saw the smile that had goofily been pasted on the younger man's mouth.
Walking almost stiffly towards the emperor, Sanosuke knew he could not afford to goof out in front of everybody. When he was alone with Kenshin, it was acceptable for him to treat the older man as any other common friend, like a good buddy. And yet, in front of everybody, he must show respect for Kenshin was not Kenshin. He would be talking not to his friend but to the emperor.
"Your imperial highness," he started voice thick with unacclaimed respect. Though serious as he was, the addressed man couldn't help but notice the glint of mischief and camaraderie flashing on the young captain's face.
"I am honored to deliver the news that we had won the battle in Satsuma against the Shinsen patrol. Moreover, I am glad to tell you that second leader of Squad Shinsen Okita Sanshou had been extinguished in the fight. The body of Kintoku Yamino had also been sighted dead."
"And Hajime Saitou?" the emperor asked suspecting that the mibu wolf would not be eradicated so easily.
His suspicion was right.
"Your highness, I had asked our men about him and they told me that he had fled afterwards the war has been won. No one had seen him since."
"I see." Kenshin murmured thoughtfully, "And what about our men?"
With this the younger man frowned. "Many had been lost sir. But not all I reassure you. I have collected a list of those living and dead. May I be allowed to read it in court?"
Nodding in approval, Sanosuke began to read the names who had survived the effects of war. Though taking this into consideration, he couldn't help but become alarmed when Sanosuke had finished the list of survivors with no utterance whatsoever of the name of the man he was waiting the most.
"Sanosuke, what about Yukishiro Enishi, one of our finest leaders in the army?" anxious amethyst eyes met clouded hazy ones as Sanosuke shook his head.
"Sir, I regret to inform you that Yukishiro Enishi, First captain patrol of the imperial army division had died on the battle of Satsuma a day before the war has been won."
TBC…
Some terms:
Kami-sama, mou sukoshi dake God, please give me more time…
Ohayou Good morning!
TADA! Enishi's dead! H well… he just had to give up didn't he? On to the next chappie! Don't forget to review! Oh and by the way, Sorry if Kaoru irritated you guys by running away like a damsel in distress… sowie but I thought it would be good if I put that in… anyways, they got back together pretty fast ne?
I'll have a separate chapter for all my reviewers… for now….
JA!