KID part 16

Okay guys this part may be a little strange to you, I based this lil' bit on myself. When I ever want to be close to someone I can't get too well I find that the special lil' spot helps. This is mainly a little Paige emotion! Phoebe rambling! And how I myself cope with the aspect of loss! May seem a strange thing to do but…hell…she's just lost her b.f nothings going to be normal at this point!
It may be a lil slow moving and sorry if it is! Thank you so much for reading and WOW on the reviewing, i'm so happy dat you like it so far! THANK YOU again!

Well enough talk from me! Here is part 16

Paige walked into the kitchen and over to the counter side, she was expecting a note to be pressed onto the coffee pot and a fresh jug made but there was nothing. Although it had been two and a half weeks now since he had been shot she couldn't get used to him not around her. A stray tear fell and this caused more to well up, reaching over she took the coffee pot and as she did there was a nock at the door. She tried to wipe the tears away as she pulled it open, Phoebe was stood on the other side, "Hey you" She smiled
"Hey Phoebe…come in" She stepped back and started to walk back to the kitchen, she walked over to the sink and ran the tap. Phoebe walked over and wrapped her arms around her sister, "So guess I don't have to ask how you are huh?"
"It's hard" Paige managed, whipping away another tear, "I just miss him"

Phoebe nodded, "That's why me and you are going to go out today"
"We are?" Paige asked turning around
"Yeah we are…what do you say to me and you driving, driving away from it all" Phoebe asked
"Do I have to come back?" She asked, as she placed the coffee pot on its holder and pushed her hand through here hair.

"Well yeah... but for a few hours how about you pretend that you don't have to." Paige looked at her hands, "I don't know…"
"Paige you haven't been out of this place for weeks"
"I can't do it…I just…" she stopped and looked at the coffee pot, hoping Phoebe wouldn't see the pain.

"Honey I know it'll be hard but you can not stop living" she said sympathetically.
"Why?" She asked, "I feel dead inside anyway. I'm not ready to live in a world he doesn't exists in"
"How about I take you to a different world then"
"What? Phoebe you're making no sense"
"Would you place your trust in the hands of your big sister?" Phoebe asked. Paige looked at Phoebe and reluctantly she shook her head yes.

They had been driving for a good hour now and not much had been spoken between the two as Paige was in her own world looking out of the window. She turned and looked at Phoebe who was driving, "How…How's Prue?"
Phoebe looked across at Paige as she drove along the deserted road. "Well she's been better. She's over come with guilt, she's hurting"
"Guilt?" Paige asked
"Yeah"
"Why she never lifted the gun?" Paige asked as she looked back out of the window
"No but she brought the guy into your life."
"I don't blame her, never did even when he kicked the crap out of me at 15"
"You're angry at her though?" Phoebe asked
"Angry yes! Angry that…you know what it don't matter anymore, weather I'm angry, sad, upset because it won't change what has become. But I swear to god Jack, I'll kill him if he ever…"
"Jack won't be back, Jack isn't going to be in your life anymore" Phoebe said,
"No and…neither is Rich"

"Do you hate her for that?"
"Who?" Paige asked looking back to Phoebe
"Prue, do you hate or blame her one bit for that?" She asked
"Truthfully I don't have any strength or room to hate her... but that goes for the liking of her too. Love Phoebe, Love would exist still if she lifted the gun herself because weather or not she wants to believe it Prue was my mother. WAS though, now I love her because she's my sister…nothing more than that"

Phoebe pulled the car over to the road side, she turned and looked at Paige. "She's hurt you?"
"Yeah…but she's still my sister"
"But not your friend?" Phoebe asked
"Not anything more or less than what she is – a sister"

Phoebe nodded in understanding, "She never wanted it too come to this you know"
"She never wanted to see that it had come to this…Phoebe it was this the day he brought a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me. I just…I can't think about Prue right now"
"I understand that Paige" Phoebe said, "I got something to show you"

Paige looked out around her, "Phoebe we're in the middle of no where"
"Yeah, and that's the best part of it all." Phoebe explained as she stood out of the car and walked around, Paige stood up from the car and buried her hands in the pockets of the leather jacket and followed Phoebe.

"a mountain, Phoebe your making me climb a mountain?" Paige asked, as Phoebe stood on the peak and looked as he sister pulled herself up, she helped her up. "Yeah"
Paige was about protest as she looked out over the land left below, she sat down and Phoebe smiled seeing Paige instantly be sucked in, sitting next to Paige she wrapped her arms around her. "Up here, you're not alone are you?" Phoebe asked

As a tear tumbled down Paige's face she shook her head, "No!" She chocked, as she fell back into Phoebe's chest Phoebe hugged Paige from behind tighter. "He's here with me" She explained,
"Yeah I know the feeling." Phoebe said as she looked out onto the world they had left. "When, when Andy died, like us all, I felt like we lost a brother – I jumped in the car and put my foot down I wanted to get away. This is where I came, I came to the top, I sat here and I cried…"
"When you came back to the manor that night soaking wet and late…you came and lay in my bed…that's where you where?" Paige asked her big sister.
"Yeah, I was here. I've come here a lot since then. I feel like I'm away from life for just a minuet and I'm not having to deal!" Paige sat again in the silence as the memories and time spent with Rich came back.

She spoke to Phoebe after ten minuets of sitting there, "You ever wanted to stay upon here, not go back"
"All the time" Phoebe explained, "But it doesn't work like that, you can't give up on life Paige, I want you to understand that. Come up here, have a time out of it, a break but never turn your back and walk away"
"Why not, life's turned its back on me, Mom, Dad, and Prue; Rich…they have all gone"
"Prue's not gone"
"Prue's not gone, but the Prue I used to know has…"
"She didn't ever want to hurt you" Phoebe said. Paige just nodded and closed her eyes,
"Yeah she never wanted to but she always manages too. Stupidly I'd always go back…maybe if I hadn't and I had let her go on with it let her sort it out, Rich would…" Paige closed her eyes and once again fought back the tears, "I've never felt this alone Phoebe" Paige confessed.

"I wish I could take the pain away"
"Nothing can" Paige explained.

Phoebe was trying to find the right time and as she looked down on Paige who was lay now with her head rested on phoebe's legs on top of the mountain the older of the two ran her hand gently across Paige's face, "What are you going to do?"
"About?" Paige asked
"I know Paige, Piper told me about…about you having Rich's baby"

Paige's eyes instantly opened, "DOES PRUE KNOW?"
"No…"
"How about we keep it that way?" Paige asked
"She'll find out sooner or later Paige"
"Yeah she will and guess what I'm hoping it'll be later and I'll be the one to tell her okay" Paige snapped as she sat up and pushed her hands trough her hair. Phoebe followed her, "I'm sorry" She said after a moment
"Nothing to be sorry for" Paige said, "I'm sorry"
"Your hurting"
"I'm scared"
"Understandable…Piper didn't want to tell me. I went over and she seemed really distant I drove it out of her, She really didn't want to"
"Who else knows?" Paige asked looking back to Phoebe
"No one"
"Can it stay that way till I'm ready?" Paige asked a little softer this time
"Sure it can honey" Paige nodded and then looked back out across the land, "Would he have been happy?"

Phoebe looked at Paige, "Rich?" The older asked
Paige nodded her head and looked back at Phoebe, "Yeah, do you think that he'd be happy?"
"I know he would. He loved you Paige, he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you"

"I loved him Phoebe, really loved him. There was no explaining to you what I felt when he'd hold my hand. I mean Jesus there were so many times I was Fucked up like, in the head. Times I'd drunk myself near death. He'd hold my hand, and I'd have no fear, I wouldn't be alone anymore." Tears again fell down Paige's face; she was so used to them now that she let them fall, without stopping them they fell from her face bouncing of the rocks the two sat on. All Phoebe was there for was to listen; it's all she could do. "When I was growing up, I was determined 'my kid, it'd have its dad. Wouldn't be alone like us but Phoebe it's just like us. It's going to feel the same pain we felt"
"Not going to happen"
"Isn't it?"
"No honey" Phoebe wrapped her arms around Paige, "Nothing will ever happen to you or this baby."
"I don't think I can do it"
"You can Paige and you know why because your strong, you and this baby are going to be strong and the baby will know what a great guy his father was!"

Paige looked back out across the world, Phoebe was right, she felt like she was apart from it all yet joined with Rich! Looking up at the sky she spoke, "It'll always be your baby Rich! ALWAYS!" She said. Phoebe took Paige's hand and the two lay back on the mountain top looking into the sky. Paige, tear stained eyes closed as she pushed yet more tears away. Phoebe's heart been pulled apart with every suppressed sob from Paige. This was going to be very hard for Paige.

tbc...