Chapter Three
Author's Notes: Thanks to duj (Is "unusual" a good thing or a bad thing?), Oya (here you go!), Cecelle (you'll find out soon), Emma (I'm afraid that if the chapters were longer, you wouldn't get an update every week – sorry!), and Lindsay (wait till you see some of the things I have up my sleeve!).
The Headmaster did not arrive by Floo Powder. By the time his solemn knock sounded at Duslain's front door, Snape had divested himself of his cloak and was engaged in hauling objects from the crowded sitting room into the vast great hall of his late grandmother's mansion. Most of Agrippina's possessions, he discovered, were completely impervious to magic, and no matter how many times he attempted to use 'Accio' or 'Wingardium Leviosa' spells, the objects remained stubbornly in place. Rolling the sleeves of his robes up over his thin, pale, and rather hairy wrists, Snape set about moving them by hand, always careful not to get bitten or burned by a cunning magical carving. The sweat of his exertions made the Potions master's face even greasier than before, and it was in this condition that Albus Dumbledore found him.
"What a remarkable house elf," he commented, glancing back at Jeeves' retreating figure.
"I can think of several hundred more colourful adjectives than that," Snape answered acidly, pausing beside the footstool he had just dragged into the great hall. Its legs twitched madly, as if it was planning an escape.
A shadow of a smile passed over the headmaster's face. "He has not been helping you, then?"
"No. He claims that his magic cannot affect these things. I have had little success in using magic myself," Snape answered, and as if to prove his point, gave a rather unnecessary shove to a life-sized marble statue of a woman he had earlier placed directly in the center of the hall.
"And this is why you need my help?" inquired Dumbledore, watching Snape and playing with the ends of his long gray beard. Snape flowed the headmaster's gaze around the hall, which now looked as though a gale had swept through several magical curiosity shops and deposited their contents there.
"Yes," Snape frowned. "You can hang your cloak anywhere. There seems as good as any," he nodded towards the marble figure, whose arms were stretched in front of her in a gesture that almost invited an embrace. "I expected you earlier, actually," Snape continued, the question implied in his tone.
"I have always felt that Apparition makes for a more dignified entrance than using Floo Powder," Dumbledore answered as he lifted the hem of his robes and skirted a dangerous-looking pillow cushion that lay on the stone floor. "Dumping oneself directly in someone's living room seems rather untidy compared with arriving by the front door, it is very inconvenient to fold and unfold oneself in the narrow chimneys of this country. For someone of my height and advanced age, it could be downright dangerous." Dumbledore folded his cloak gingerly over the statue's left arm and peered into her impassive face. "Poor Agrippina," he sighed. "A whole lifetime surrounded by mute artifacts…"
"It will take a lifetime to sort through them all," growled Snape, who re-entered the hall, his arms full of what looked like two dozen silver spoons. "I wonder if you know what any of this is, Albus? Maybe Hogwarts is in desperate need for one of these?" He held up a small crystal orb, inside which tiny gears whirred and buzzed.
Albus took it from him and mused, "Alastor Moody or Remus Lupin would be of more assistance to you in such matters than I, Severus. Even an Auror like Kingsley Shacklebolt or Nymphadora Tonks would be better able to determine the use of such an object."
"Perhaps you'll suggest I also enlist the help of Sybil Trelawney?" Snape asked viciously, his lip curling. "No, either these objects are used or destroyed, and you must help me decide which. I have already received a letter from Borgin and Burke, offering to take these things off my hands for what they called 'a very reasonable sum'. I don't know how they heard, or whether anyone else knows, but no doubt I am not the last to consider that my grandmother's little collection would serve the Dark Lord's purposes well."
"Yes, I see your point, Severus," said Dumbledore. "Although I do think that your distrust of Order members is unnecessary. May I suggest that some of us convene here over the holidays? Perhaps in helping you manage your grandmother's estate, we will come to some solution."
"That time should be used to prepare our defenses against the Dark Lord!" exclaimed Snape, whose glistening black eyes betrayed the fact that he was none too happy about allowing Order members into his home, even if he had only just inherited it.
"We may find something to assist our side," pointed out Dumbledore. "I, for one, will be grateful for anything that will give our side even the smallest advantage, or protect one of ours from harm." Having made this weighty pronouncement, Dumbledore clapped his hands together and exclaimed, "Some tea would, I think, give me just the sustenance I need to begin such an undertaking." His hopes for such a pleasure, however, were dispelled by a heavy knocking at the front door. The two men exchanged wary glances, and Dumbledore drew his wand. Waving it in the direction of the displaced sitting-room furniture, he uttered a Concealment charm, and promptly vanished himself as well.
Snape was beaten to the door by Jeeves, who appeared out of thin air, and with a strength that belied his tiny frame drew open the heavy oak door. In the entrance stood an expensively dressed, bored-looking blonde man with a silver-topped cane. Without a glance to the house-elf in front of him, Lucius Malfoy stepped inside and extended his right hand in an indolent greeting to Severus Snape.
"My most sincere condolences, Severus," he drawled. Looking over Snape's disheveled person, he added, "I see your grandmother's death has hit you hard."
"Yes, very," agreed Severus, frowning. "It could not have come at a worse time. The Dark Lord needs my services at Hogwarts, and I am forced to attend to trivialities here."
"A pity," nodded Lucius languidly, and cast his icy blue eyes around the hall. "My sources inform me, however, that you will have something to contribute to our efforts soon. Something in the form of a few choice artifacts from your grandmother's collection, perhaps?"
Snape rolled his shoulders back and looked Lucius straight in the eye. "Mssrs Borgin and Burke are not a reliable source of information," he said with conviction.
Lucius grimaced. "They want you to sell to them?" he asked.
Snape nodded. "Yes. I received a letter from them earlier today. But I'm afraid, old friend, that both they and you have been sorely misled as to believing that I have some vast collection of Dark Magical curiosities. In my time here, I have been convinced that the Darkest object in this house is the bloody house elf."
This comment received what passed as a genuine laugh with Lucius Malfoy. "It's so hard to find good help these days, isn't it? And the filthy creatures only breed more mediocrity!" The blonde man leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Sometimes I think the Dark Lord should extend his crusade to wipe them out along with the Muggles." Leaning back, he shrugged a perfectly tailored shoulder. "But then, who would clean and cook so efficiently?"
Snape smiled wanly as Malfoy clapped him on the shoulder. "Hurry up and finish here. A family house is all well and good, especially one old as yours is, but it's too far to make polite house calls. We shall see you at the next meeting." Turning to leave, Lucius called over his shoulder, "And if the elf gives you trouble, give him a good kick. Works wonders for their morale."
When the front door had closed behind Lucius, the great hall shimmered and the charm dropped to once again reveal the chaotic assemblage of objects, and a smiling Albus Dumbledore. The headmaster advanced to Snape and clapped him on the back in an eerie echo of Malfoy's earlier gesture.
"Well done, Severus. Your social skills improve daily. Now, I should call the Order members before you receive any more condolence calls. May I use your fireplace?" At Snape's nod of assent, Dumbledore smiled again, and his eyes twinkled behind his half-moon spectacles. "I'm so glad Mr Malfoy had the courtesy of knocking at the front door. It's so much more dignified."