A/N: Thanks again for all the great comments. This one is kind of short but holds a lot of meaning behind it. I would love to hear your comments and reviews as always. Enjoy!

Chapter 18 – The Meaning of Darkness

The lair was becoming dark and cold. The candles were extinguishing themselves one-by-one. Erik sat shrouded in darkness. It consumed him as it always did. He could contain his feelings no longer and the darkness helped keep them at bay.

His growing 'infatuation' with Angelina was growing in intensity. Every day it seemed to become worse and worse. It suffocated him and he refused to act on any of his emotions. Several times Angelina had asked him what was wrong but he said it was nothing and continued on with the lesson.

The feelings for Christine were still there but were being overpowered by the feelings he had for her daughter. He had done everything he could to push aside the feelings but he could not. To deny them would destroy him. To put them into the light would kill him. It was a no-win situation.

He could still how soft her skin was he was with her on stage. Her voice consumed him. Her gaze upon him had made his blood stop. What is she doing to me!

Erik stood, knocking down a candle bra near him. He looked around the room and noticed how much sheet music was all over the floor. It had been constant. Don Juan had not gotten to him as much as this new opera had. It was even more passionate and more sensual then Don Juan.

Closing his eyes, he smiled as he imagined Angelina in the costume in envisioned for her. Aminta paled in comparison to his newest character. She was beautiful and talented and doomed from the start. Only one man could save her. The only question that remained was which man.

The opera would be a great performance with Angelina in the lead. Erik would see no other in the spotlight of his opera. But would he come out of hiding to play one of the leads along side her? That was the whole point to writing the opera. He wanted to be along side her as she played the part. He wanted to be the one who sang in her ear and held her close.

He knocked over another candle bra, sending crashing to the ground. Damn these thoughts! Damn them! He racked his hands through his hair and looked at himself in the mirror.

The mirror – the one thing in his life that he feared. His body was not something he minded. He was well built and quite tall. His physique he actually admired about himself. Trying to keep himself in shape, he did various things while practicing or writing his music.

It was everything above his shoulders that he dreaded. His eyes were the windows to his soul. They were the only thing on his face that he didn't hate. They were iridescent at times or blue to match the morning sky. His teeth were perfect and his smile – when he did smile – could shine brighter then the night skies.

His face was what turned everyone away. It horrified them. His mask was just that – a mask. He feared it himself. It disgusted him that he could be as horribly as disfigured as he was. The black wig he wore hid the scars that rested upon his head and the little hair he had. The white mask covered his disfiguration upon his face.

Slowly taking it off, he looked at himself in the mirror. He forced himself to truly look at himself. How could Angelina ever fall in love with a monster like me? Pain flooded his heart. Christine had seen him without his mask and it had repulsed her. Why would her child be any different?

Erik recalled the scene in the park right after Don Juan. Jonathan's proposal came as a complete surprise to both Erik and Angelina. She had not accepted but promised to consider it. He knew of the reputation of Jonathan de Wynter. Jonathan was an upstanding member of society and was rumored to be even more popular then his father.

However, Angelina did not seem impressed by it all. From the information Rene had gathered, Jonathan was a friend – to both Alexander and Angelina. They had loved each other once, when they were children. It seemed to Erik that Angelina had grown out of the love but Jonathan had not.

Could she ever love him as she once did Jonathan? Doubts filled Erik's mind has he continued to think of his face and his 'handicap'.

When he looked into the mirror he saw a reflection standing behind him.

"Angelina…"

He slowly turned and saw her standing near the organ. Erik quickly turned his face, putting it into the darkness that surrounded him.

"Why are you here? You should not be here."

"I'm always with you, Erik. I am in your soul."

She slowly began down the stairs in a flowing white gown. The curls upon her head bounced as she walked down to where he was standing. She looked upon him.

"You shun yourself."

"I am hideous. Do not look upon me."

"You are beautiful."

His head rose and his eyes caught hers. A smile spread across her face as she stepped closer to him.

"You are my angel."

"Oh how I wish I can believe that, Angelina. But you are merely a delusion from my mind sent to keep my sanity in check."

"Why must you fear everything?"

"I fear nothing."

"You fear what life could be. You fear happiness."

He knew she spoke the truth. Denying the feelings he had, he condemned himself. He feared of being happy but what he feared more was rejection. Erik knew that this was not how Angelina would look upon him. As he thought about her reaction, his eyes began to show hatred and fury.

"I fear nothing!"

His hands flew out and shoved her to the ground. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. Erik began to laugh and pointed to everything around him.

"Can you honestly tell me that you would live here with me in this cave! You would look upon this face without horror and pity!"

"Erik…"

"No! I am tired of rejection and pain. I have lived with it my entire life!"

He bent down to her and grabbed her hand. Forcing it upon his marred face, she looked at him with horror.

"This! This is my life! I am the Devil's Child! Look and stare and laugh."

"You say these things because you fear to be with someone. You say these things because you truly do not know me."

"Oh I know you. You are Christine de Chagny's daughter. And you will do the same thing she did to me – you will leave me for your childhood sweetheart."

He rose, wrapping his robe around him. Looking in the mirror once again, he saw Angelina slowly rise behind him.

"You do not know Angelina, Erik. You would deny the love of your life because of the hatred that lies within your heart."

Erik watched as her figure began to fade as she begun to walk toward him.

"Angelina is not Christine. She does not know of your past and you do not know hers. You know it is time to find out more about her. You are her teacher – her angel. Do not deny her that because of your own selfishness."

The figure faded but he continued to hear the voice.

"The love you feel for her is real. It is vibrant and passionate and sensual. You need to embrace it and to let go of all of the fears in your past. You do not know if she will shun you as Christine once did. Remember that she is not Christine. She is your muse. Angelina is the one that turns the darkness you live in into light."

Her voice faded as the rest of the candles seemed to extinguish themselves. A lone candle remained lit, lighting Erik's figure in the mirror. His marred face hidden in the darkness and the white mask in his hand illuminated by the candle light seemed to be the symbols of how the war within his soul was.

The mask dropped from his hand and shattered. A single tear ran down the cheek and glimmered from the light that sat upon the candle. His eyes slowly began to look at himself for the last time.

"I must change. I must be the man Angelina wants in her life. I can fear the light no longer. I must not fear love and happiness. I am a teacher and a student. I will learn all that I can and I know exactly who to turn to."