Disclaimer: Meh! Legolas is mine, mine I tell you! 'cackles evilly then is hit over the head by a angry looking Tolkien' Fine, fine have him back, just watch the hair next time!

Chapter Six – Lonely Dwarfs.

It had been an hour since Kai with Xavier and Pierre in tow had arrived back in Mirkwood and now the triplets were assembled in Kai's room watching him pack.

"You can't leave!" Protested Xavier.

"Please don't leave us Kai." Cried Ellette.

"I'm sorry kiddo, but I have to." Kai answered as he stuffed one last shirt into his pack.

"I don't understand why you are leaving. Did Ada say something?" Asked Pierre.

"This has nothing to do with your father." Kai picked up his pack and marched off towards the stables with the triplets frantically trying to keep up.

"Don't you love us anymore?" This sniffled question from the triplets stopped Kai in his tracks.

"Of course I do, this is something I just have to do. I promise I will return to you one day."

"What is it you have to do?"

"Um I…have to…um…find myself!" Blurted Kai automatically realising how lame he sounded.

"Find yourself? I can do that for you." Xavier pointed at Kai, "There you are."

"It is not as simple as that. I am on a path to enlightenment."

"What's that?" Asked Pierre.

"I…um…don't know yet, but I promise I'll find out for you." Kai grabbed the brothers and squished them into a hug. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"We won't." Chimed the brothers dolefully.

"Goodbye Ellette, look after those two for me, make sure they don't torture the hobbits too much and I…um."

"What?"

"Never mind. Goodbye kiddo." And with that Kai jumped on his horse and left.

"Triplets!" Called a booming voice causing the Greenleaf three to flinch visibly. "You three are to report to the library at once."

"And why I that then Fiminur?" Asked Pierre.

"It is time for your first history lesson."

A resounding groan was all that answered Fiminur's order.

……

"You look rough." Commented Kalin.

"I didn't sleep well last night." Answered Legolas after stifling a yawn.

"Perhaps you need some entertainment."

"Like what?"

"My infamous party trick!" Kalin yelled causing every bird within a hundred metre radius of Fangorn Forest to flee.

"Kalin, the last time you did your party trick, half the Mirkwood population of squirrels migrated."

"You say that as if it were a bad thing! Anyway I was talking about my other party trick."

"Go on then."

"I need a piece of spaghetti."

"Why on Arda would I be carrying spaghetti?"

"I shall just have to use this convenient piece of string I found instead."

Legolas watch in slight amusement but mostly disgust as Kalin proceeded to snort the string up his right nostril, gag a few times and ensue by pulling it out of his mouth.

"What did you think?" Asked Kalin as he tried to hand Legolas the offending piece of string.

"Well I don't know what to say really…um…Amaria is a very lucky elleth."

"BAROOM! Welcome young master Legolas." Greeted Treebeard loudly causing Kalin to almost fall off his horse.

'How is it that something as conspicuous as a walking, talking tree manages to sneak up on an elf!' Thought Kalin irritably.

"What brings you here to our forest?" Breathed the Ent slowly.

"We believe that you have some information on the whereabouts of George."

"Well bless my bark! I do have something that will help you on your way. Let me just…" Treebeard began to shake his branches. "It was here somewhere…oh bother…"

Kalin wrinkled his nose in thought, "You remind me of someone."

"Kalin, he is a tree, how could he remind of anything other than another tree!" Legolas questioned.

"Just listen to his voice…he sounds just like…"

"If I could just get this branch adjusted…" Mumbled Treebeard to himself.

"Gimli!" Yelped Legolas.

Treebeard went quiet and looked up guiltily. "BAROOM! I don't know what you mean!"

"Gimli is that you!" Asked Legolas incredulously.

"Oh…well…I…oh you caught me." The dwarf appeared out of the branches sheepishly.

"I don't understand where is the real Treebeard?"

"There isn't a Treebeard. It was all a hoax." Answered Gimli.

"Okay I'm confused, if Treebeard doesn't exist then who was the tree that looked after Merry and Pippin?" Asked Kalin.

"All the Ents do not exist." Gimli explained. "A very long time ago the dwarfs decided to create these machines that looked like trees that could be operated by us from the inside."

"So if you are Treebeard then how did you manage to be in two places at once!" Raised Legolas.

"Oh I'm not the permanent Treebeard. I'm just covering for a friend; he hurt his hand while fixing one of Quickbeam's branches."

"I don't believe this, why on Arda would you do this!"

"Why not?" Shrugged Gimli sheepishly.

"To increase your altitude maybe?" Offered Kalin.

"It was just a whim." Replied the dwarf taking slight umbrage.

"Gimli, you do not just invent an entire race on a whim!" Yelled Legolas.

"Well, we…the dwarfs…we…we wanted the elves to like us." Blabbed Gimli.

"What!"

"You elves loved trees and hated dwarfs so we decided to combine the two and have you like us." Gimli sniffled.

Legolas and Kalin looked at each other and back at the dwarf.

"I don't know what to say really…" Said Kalin.

"No me neither…" Legolas uttered not sure what to do with a snivelling dwarf.

"Oh…don't mind me…just…just don't tell anyone of this please! I beg you!"

"Calm down, of course we won't tell anyone." Assured Legolas.

Kalin began to choke, "We won't! Are you mad this is bloody brilliant! We could make money out of this little scandal!"

"No please I'll be stripped of my Dwarf stripes!"

"Dwarf stripes!" Laughed Kalin who was promptly shut-up by Legolas landing a solid thump on the back of his head.

"Of course we won't tell anyone Gimli." Promised Legolas although he was already planning how he would break this news to Haldir when he next saw him.

"Well that is good news." Gimli sighed heavily.

"Can I just ask one question?" Approached Kalin. "What was all this business with the Entwives then?"

"It was the female dwarfs; they got fed up with all the pretending so just went back to the halls." Explain Gimli.

Kalin shoved his fist in his mouth trying to stifle the laughter.

"I suppose you'll be wanting this now." Gimli handed Legolas a scroll.

"One is cheery the other slow, it was in this darkness that they did grow. Find them where they had last been, the finest Hash bar middle-earth has seen." Read Legolas.

"You've got to give that George credit, he really can rhyme!" Pointed out a surprised Kalin.

"It looks like we are off to visit Merry and Pippin then."

"It's party time!" Whooped Kalin.

"You sound like your brother." Commented Legolas much to Kalin's horror.

……

"But Fiminur, Ada always teaches us!" Protested Xavier.

"Well Ada is not here, so sit down and do as I say!" Yelled Fiminur as he threw the history book down on the table. "Now I am far too busy and important to tutor you, and frankly I would rather spend the afternoon with a soiree of dwarfs than be stuck in a room with you three, so I have asked someone to kindly step in for me. Elflings, welcome the lord Glorfindel."

"Glory!" Shrieked the triplets excitedly as they launched themselves at the newly arrived elf lord.

"It is good to see you to." Smiled the lord as he forcibly removed the triplets from his various limbs. "I will take it from here Fiminur." As soon as the stuffy advisor had left Glorfindel sat the triplets down, "Did Kai say where he was going?"

"No, he made up some rubbish about 'the road to enlightenment.' What happened Glory, what did Ada say to him?" Asked Pierre.

"Never you mind that now, I'm sure Kai will back soon enough. Now let us begin your history lesson."

"I'm afraid we can't." Pointed out Ellette.

"And why not exactly?"

"Xavier has taken the history books on a road to en-'light'-enment."

Glorfindel looked over to the darkling brother and watched him set alight the third volume of the History of Arda and throw it on the pile along with the already burning volumes of one and two.

"I see, well I suppose…" Glorfindel was interrupted by the door flying open.

"Why didn't you tell me!" Screeched Phian as she marched over to Ellette.

"Huh?"

"That Kai was leaving!"

"Well I didn't get that much warning myself!"

"You just didn't want me to say goodbye! It is obvious that you fancy him! What, were worried about the competition!"

Ellette scanned the Dulux colour chart and decided that deep red was the best colour to turn.

"You fancy Kai!" Yelped Xavier and Pierre.

Ellette followed her chameleon act by gaping like a fish.

"You have no chance with Kai, he only thinks of you as a kid!" Spat Phian before storming out.

"Xavier, Pierre go and entertain the hobbits." Ordered Glorfindel firmly.

"But…"

"Go now!"

The brothers left without being told again.

"Ellette looked really upset didn't she?" Said Pierre.

"Yeah, I guess this explains why she wanted to get Phian so badly and not tell Kai about it."

"It looked like she was going to cry."

"No one makes our sister cry and gets away with it!"

"Unless it is us of course." Corrected Pierre.

"Of course. It is time for Phian to pay."

……

"Ellette? Are you all right?" Asked Glorfindel gently.

"Nothing a big hole in the ground couldn't cure," Ellette sighed.

"You do realise that you are the thing that will bring Kai back."

Ellette let out a sobbing laugh, "Phian was right, I am just a kid." She slowly got up and wondered out onto the balcony.

"You will see." Whispered Glorfindel.

……

"Well Legolas finally snapped with me, just like he said he would one day. Granted there was less jelly and half naked wrestling than you wanted but hey…I'm leaving Mirkwood for good." Kai knelt down by Emily's grave. "Maybe I'll come back and visit you, probably when I hear that Legolas is out of town. I have no desire what so ever to wrestle with him despite what you may want. I'm sorry I let you down, with the kids and everything, I promised to help look after them but managed to ruin that as well, I shouldn't…Ellette she is….oh Legolas was right I am worthless. Goodbye Emily."

……

A/N: Emily: 'sobs' No Kai! I want him back.

George: Then write him back you moron!

E: Meh! Anyhow… I asked for twenty-five reviews and what did I get…five! Well meh to all of you who didn't review I'm just going to sit in my room hold my Legolas cardboard cut-out and cry, to those of you who did…

Angel's Heart, Demon's Mind – Metal baseball bat…whimper…

Lil' rook – I think it is rather what she 'won't' do to you! Glad you like the chappie, hopefully this one deserves lots and lots of reviews!

Lil Smartass – I got the full rundown of your senior prefect speech from a private source. He he. I don't do happy endings!

Limpet666 – I bet you would like to have a go at taming Kai!

Ayiicaalime – Nic wants to poke you too. Well next stop The Hives! I did hear about Liz's speech…