"Let me get this straight – the two people I am counting on to help me resurrect the Hellsing Organization and to help me to protect England both contain fractured personalities? Do I have this right?" Integra's head throbbed, her stump throbbed and her phantom hand itched abominably. Having Seras tell her that the person Alexander Anderson had left her for assistance was a dual-personality berserker was doing nothing to help her already foul mood.
"I wouldn't put it quite that way, Boss." Integra watched Seras closely. She was learning to discern who was actually in the "driver's seat" so to speak with the girl. She'd say that Pip was driving at that moment. "We aren't fractured, just crowded."
The easiest giveaway was the shift in accent, but Pip and Seras had different physical mannerisms that were easy enough to spot if you were paying attention. For instance, Pip still wasn't accustomed to not having that long rope of hair to keep track of, and Integra had noticed him trying to arrange the non-existent braid around Seras' neck on more than one occasion. Integra had known in theory that this could happen, but she'd never seen it. Alucard would never accept an equal position with a stolen soul. Of course, Pip's soul had been freely given, not stolen, which made a world of difference.
Integra fixed the fidgeting nun with a glare that had been known to make experienced MI5 operatives squirm in their seats. "Why don't you tell me why I should trust you, Sister Takagi?"
"I'm not fractured, either, Sir Hellsing. You seem to be able to accept your vampire's condition, and she hasn't even been living with it for as long as I have."
"My vampire is, as you so astutely noted, a vampire. Her situation with Captain Bernadette is something that is a unique risk to vampiric existence. You, however, are human, and my understanding of multiple personality disorder in humans does not make me feel very encouraged to trust you."
Yumiko took a deep breath and prepared to tell Integra Hellsing something few humans knew. "Multiple personality disorder in humans is distressing, I'll agree with you. But, I don't have MPD any more than Seras does. Do you think that Iscariot would choose to foster and train a woman like me if all that could be said about me is that when I take my glasses off, my psychotic alter-ego picks up a sword and kills every heretic and blasphemer in sight?"
Integra thought about Alexander Anderson in Badric and Enrico Maxwell in London; she didn't see why Section XIII would balk at a murderous split personality nun.
"Yumie is as much of a separate individual from me as Pip is from Seras. She sleeps more often than Pip does, but she's been riding around inside my head for a lot longer than Pip has been with Seras. Yumie was not born of some horrible childhood trauma in the manner you think."
Yumiko seemed to suddenly change subject, "How much do you know of exorcism, Sir Hellsing?"
Integra frowned. "It's a ritual intended to expel a possessing spirit or demon from its host. It's a difficult and dangerous rite and often would be better replaced by good psychiatric care. However, as the Master of three vampires and the leader of a vampire killing organization, I'm in no position to say that exorcism has no place in a rational world."
"Exactly. Sometimes the subject of an exorcism has problems that are much more mundane than a possessing spirit. Other times, though, the possession is real." Yumiko stopped and Integra and Seras watched the internal dialogue that was easy to spot when they knew what they were looking for.
"My sister doesn't want me to tell you about this." Yumiko's face kept shifting between troubled and angry. "There's only so far I can go and still maintain my own peace. I'm going to have to bow to her will on this, but I can tell you that Yumie started life as much of a separate individual as Seras' Pip did. Father Alexander can answer your questions as thoroughly and with less internal conflict than I can.
"Sir Integra, you are the master of the ultimate weapon – or so we within Iscariot see it. Neither Father Alexander nor the Vatican would run the risk of Alucard being unleashed to do to Rome or Vatican City what he did to London – especially not for me. You can trust me because it is the pragmatic thing to do."
Seras shrugged at her leader when Integra looked to her for an opinion. She blinked at the unfamiliar touch of Seras' thoughts, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have any practice at snooping in people's heads and I probably shouldn't start on one as complicated as hers. If I have to, and she loses her mind completely, I'll take care of her. In response to Integra's raised eyebrow and silent query, Seras continued, I'll take care of her in whatever way is needed. I've learned a lot about choices made in war, you can count on me.
"Right." Integra composed herself and looked at her sad excuse for a fighting force – a one-eyed vampire bearing the soul of a dead French mercenary and an injured Japanese nun with a sword-brandishing alter ego. This is what Walter might call a 'pinch' that even the first Sir Hellsing would recognize. "Right. We have an urgent problem, among a host of urgent problems.
"Hellsing headquarters is largely destroyed. Would that it had been entirely destroyed, we would not be facing the problem we have now.
"We have to go there." Her cold glare silenced Seras with her mouth frozen in an "O" before she could argue. "Don't give me any arguments about needing to heal. I do not have three to six months to spend convalescing. The drainage tube is coming out in the morning, I will bring all of the prescriptions they keep shoving down my throat, but I must accompany you to the Hellsing Estate for this. It is non-negotiable."
"Boss," Pip spoke again, "I know a lot about missing limbs. You're making things harder for yourself in the long run. You aren't doing your physical therapy; you haven't learned to care for your wrist in a way that will let you wear a prosthesis in the future; and running off to the Hellsing Estate when you're still at high risk for infection is begging to lose more of your arm or even your life."
Seras held up her hands to placate Integra when she began to protest, "Boss, slow down. I know you're going to do this no matter what we say, I just want to offer a deal – you come with us, but first thing tomorrow morning, you meet with the physical therapist and your doctors with us present. We'll all learn what's needed to help you with your PT while you're away from the hospital. Remember, we have a contract. We have to do our damnedest to keep you alive.
"All we're asking is that you remember that part of your duty is to be in the best condition you can be. We'll help you with the rest."
•••
Integra winced as the truck hit another rut in the road. She refused pain relief any stronger than an aspirin and was paying for it at that moment. She didn't ask how Seras had obtained the truck, but Integra had a good idea that Pip had a strong hand in it. The vampire slouched behind the wheel, hiding under the brim of her hat and behind the sunglasses perched on her nose. In a concession to Pip, the girl had a cigarette between her lips. In a concession to Seras, the cigarette was unlit.
It wouldn't have been a long drive if the roads had been in better condition. At least martial law kept the motorways relatively uncrowded, but it made their vehicle conspicuous. They had been stopped three times already to explain why they were out on the road. Each time it had taken protracted phone calls to clear things up. Seras had learned a lot about being a vampire, but apparently she hadn't gotten the hang of influencing weaker human minds yet.
Yumiko had been quiet during the trip. She sat in her corner of the front seat and held her katana to her chest like a comfort object. The nun didn't look much better than Integra felt. Her skin had an unhealthy pallor and the angry wound on her face was a painful contrast to her otherwise fair skin.
Integra couldn't help but wonder about Seras. She'd lost both eyes, an arm and the man she loved all in one fell swoop. Today, the only sign that the vampire had a care in the world was the eye patch behind which she hid the socket that did not regenerate. She had regrown the arm, regenerated one eye, and instead of losing her grip on humanity with her love, her love was with her more intimately than any but a vampire – or maybe one crazed Iscariot nun – could know. What had she lost, really?
Integra felt sick when she realized that she envied Seras and maybe hated her a little. She turned away when Seras glanced up from the road to give her a curious look.
Don't let her know we heard that. She's got a right to be jealous and angry.
Pip, if I could help her grow back her hand, I'd do it, but the only way I can think of, she wouldn't accept, and I'm the wrong gender anyway…
You are, chère, but I wonder if I am?
•••
It was mid-afternoon when the truck pulled up to the shattered gates of the estate. The walls of the mansion were standing in some areas, but nothing had escaped the ravages of Zorin's soldiers' attack. Most of the windows were broken, the external doors hung from their hinges or were gone altogether, and the walls that did still stand were soot smudged and in some cases, bloodstained. The smell of death hung in the air. There had been no opportunity to retrieve the bodies of the fallen yet. There were so many dead to inter and the Hellsing Estate was not high on the cleanup priority list.
Seras swayed on her feet when she got out of the truck and the memories of that night came back to her with full force. Pip's gentle voice reminded her that death was not the end as they both could attest.
Yumiko came around the front of the truck, but turned away when she saw Hellsing's creature sit heavily against one of the tires. It was too intimate a moment to watch when Sir Integra put her good hand on the weeping vampire's head and gently stroked her hair.
She walked away from the two other women to give them the opportunity to grieve with some privacy. It made no sense to her that a vampire would be crying over death. Wasn't it the reason for their existence?
The outer walls of the estate were mostly rubble. There were occasional patches of gore but there were no bodies. Yumiko wandered, looking for anything that had been left whole, but there was nothing. When she thought she'd given them enough time, she returned to the truck. She caught the tail end of their conversation before they noticed her and stopped abruptly.
"I will not consider it, Seras. Do not ask again."
"We wouldn't ask if we hadn't come so close to losing you. We can't afford –"
Yumiko filled the gap, "I just had a look around, but didn't see any signs of anyone left living."
Seras stood and wiped her face on the sleeve of her jacket. She looked around and seemed to be listening. "There are humans nearby." She walked away from the other two women toward the wreckage of her home. "Yumiko, please help Sir Integra while I look around."
She moved silently through the ruins. Every bloodstain held a memory for her, but the expected human bodies were nowhere in evidence. The feel of humans led her out behind the mansion. Seras saw three human forms working in the graveyard and Seras knew exactly who they were.
"I thought you bastards knew we were supposed to meet up in Calais after the dust settled?" she barked at them in Pip's best martial tones.
The three men whirled around; the alarm on their faces was replaced with relief and warmth. The man in the middle, heavier-set and older than the other two – Rolfe, Pip supplied the name – Rolfe smiled and snapped a salute, which the other two men quickly echoed.
Pip's grin graced Seras' face as she returned their salute.
"Sir, we weren't finished here. We couldn't leave the rest of the Geese without a proper goodbye."
Seras could see that the men had been busy. Fleming's arm was splinted; Rolfe and Louison must have dug the graves on their own. She swallowed against the rock that had lodged in her throat when she saw a makeshift cross with Pip's hat and eye patch slung over the arms. Any chance you'll let me wear those? he asked wistfully.
She could feel the men watching her as she walked on numb legs to Pip's grave. The tears that she'd thought were passed began to flow again as she replaced the hospital's eye patch with Pip's and her hat with Pip's familiar bush hat. I'm not gone. I'm right here. Why are you crying for me? Don't cry. Silly girl.
All I ever got was one kiss, Pip. Just one. It's not fair!
Did anyone ever tell you that life was fair? Seras, the only thing that's gone is the part that's least important anyway, and if you remember the break room where we met Doc, I'm pretty sure that I can give you more than just that one kiss.
She looked over at their men. The last three Wild Geese had withdrawn to give her some privacy for her mourning. How strange it must seem to them, this woman – this vampire – who was both a damned creature and their commander.
Of course, they aren't surprised, Seras, they've been telling me I'm a damned creature for years.
Seras walked away from the grave with tears staining her face and laughter on her lips.
•••
Integra felt much lighter seeing that any of her mercenaries had survived. It was more than she had hoped for, and if there were any stairs left intact, they might be able to finish this task more quickly than she had anticipated.
As she surveyed the rubble for a way into the sub-basements, she could hear Pip filling them in on what had happened since Seras had left to defend Integra. The men were concerned about her condition, but they were professionals. She was relieved that they wouldn't be clucking over her like mother hens. People in their line of work learned to live with the ugly realities of war or they found another line of work.
The men had reported that there was sporadic ghoul activity after dark, but the ghouls were not acting in an organized manner. The mercenaries had scrounged enough ammunition during daylight hours to hold off the few creatures that had found them at night.
It took several hours to find a set of stairs that, while blocked, could be cleared enough to allow them access to the sub-levels. Integra did not want to be in the middle of some of the more dangerous areas of the Hellsing basements during the night. Instead, they were able to set up a camp of sorts in Seras' bedroom. With some of the debris blocking the stairs restored, they were in a more secure location than Rolfe, Louison and Fleming had had since the night Millennium attacked.
Seras excused herself to patrol the basement after a few hours. She told herself that it was just to provide additional security, but the fact of the matter was that all five humans had wounds, and the taint of blood in the air made it impossible for her to relax without images of feeding forcing themselves into her head.
She wandered the familiar halls of the basement, trying to lay to rest the ghosts that existed only in her head. She had passed one of the locked labs when something that seemed off drew her back. She slipped off her human form in favor of shadows before slipping under the door to investigate.