Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling and not me.

::AN:: WOW I totally loved the reviews for the last chapter! Here, I'll respond to you people, okay? lol

Padfootz-luvr- don't cry! (Although that is what I was going for… lol) Well, just read this chapter and calm down, okay? lol

Tintalu- yes, cliffies, I know… But I have discovered that cliffies are a way to keep your readers' interest, which is a necessity. lol Yay, I'm glad they're back at Hogwarts, too! lol (And by the way… I LOVED your 'Stop Petting Me' fic! It was HILARIOUS!)

Msj- wow, that is SO nice of you! I LOVE it when people say stuff like that! lol And really, THANKS, cuz it is sometimes hard when I want someone to say something and then I'm all, "No, they wouldn't say or do that…" lol

Jubily-Lollypops- really? I'm glad you think so! (lol)

ME- all I'm going to say is that 1) you're very smart, 2) yes, I have it all "planned out" in my head, and 3) either you're psychic, we're on the same wavelength or you're REALLY smart, but that's all I'm saying. Thanks for reviewing. You really come on here everyday to see if I've updated? ::tears of joy:: You're so nice!

Randomblinx- dude, stop saying my chapters are SHORT! They're not that short! Have you seen some of the stuff people put up here? Sheesh! I swear, if you say that one more time, I am going to chop off all your hair while you sleep! Geez. (lol, I love you, by the way, thanks for reviewing.)

Sorry if I missed anyone, and I think I might have, since I'm updating RIGHT NOW and I know I might not have seen all the reviews for the last chapter by the time I upload this one. (lol) This chapter is for ME (lol), because I feel she (it is she, right? er… I don't know…) is tres tres intelligent(e)!

::NOTE:: Sorry to disappoint, but this chapter is just a "FOCUS ON FAYLINN" chapter. It is almost completely her diary/journal/little-book-thingy entries. Some things will be mentioned, so there is still reason to read this chapter. Don't worry, though. I plan on posting the NEXT chapter soon as well, so it's all good. lol

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"Faylinn, are you sure nothing's bothering you?" She keeps asking while she plays with a few little pink flowers before tossing them into the wastebasket. (Where did she get those?)

No, I'm not sure. My head is a big old jumble and I always feel like I'm about to cry and I want to blame everyone in the entire world but I can't. I blame me. It was all my own stupidity. I should've known. They're all the same. They're just like my so-called "father." Just bang 'em and leave 'em. Although there was no bang-age with Sirius and me, thank Merlin. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if there had been, sheesh.

Of course, I didn't say that to Lily. That would be stupid. Instead, "I'm fine, Lils. Just, you know, stuffy. It's this cold. I hope it goes away soon." That seemed good enough for her at the moment, at least, since she just tossed the flowers into the wastebasket and shrugged, turning back to her studies.

It's not that I don't trust Lily… It's just that she's so PERKY, you know? I'd hate to damper her wonderful mood with all my depressing tales of woe.

And as if things couldn't get any worse.

Can you see my nail? No, you can't so I'll tell you.

It's chewed. Yes. I chewed my nail. It's so gross.

Hopefully it will grow back soon?

Oh, what do I care? My life is nothing now. I am nothing now. I am just a tiny morsel of nothing in this vast world of

Ooh, Lily says that Remus is waiting for me to go downstairs. Something about a new bag of chocolates that he didn't want to open without me? La la la… I'm beginning to think Remus has the right idea about all this nonsense. Chocolate really DOES make the world taste better.

Ish.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Dear Diary,

It's been a week since we've been back… It's basically the same old routine, except now I'm really starting to question my choice in friends. Not only do I have Lily down my neck about all this study-for-NEWTS crap, but Remus as well.

How can they expect me to STUDY when I my life is utter sadosity?

So, as a compromise, I have my Transfiguration textbook open next to me…

What is with people and turning things into PIGS?! When am I EVER going to need to do that? I mean, seriously. A pig, for all witches' sake!

It is almost time for dinner and I am in total hunger-mode.

If I don't have something to eat within the next hour I am so attacking Remus and begging him to show me where those damned kitchens are. Or maybe Lily will give me some of those little candies she so hastily tossed into her trunk yesterday morning.

Sirius promised he'd show me where the kitchens were once…

Oh Geez.

Not again.

Great, now I'm getting all blubbery.

Funny, thing, isn't it, diary, when you can get all "blubbery" and unable to mumble a coherent sentence, and yet you are still fully capable of writing perfectly clearly.

This could be a brand new theory! People will look up to me as though I were Merlin!

Well, er, maybe not… But maybe…?

:::

Okay… At dinner now. I've taken up to sitting to the left of Lily, with Helen Edison and the rest of the "cold-hearted" gang to her right. And I'm to the right of Remus, with the "marauders" on his left.

If I re-read that sentence and then close my eyes and try and visualize it, it makes no sense.

Oh, diary, mine is a tale of woe and misery that one such as yourself could not possibly comprehend.

I can see him.

Across from me and three seats to the left.

Well, actually… I have to kind of push Remus backwards and lean forward – causing quite the mashed potato catastrophe on the front of my vest – to see him. But it's all the same!

He doesn't seem the least bit phased. He's joking around with Peter some sixth year girl next to him.

Who does she think she is? She can't just go up to people and talk to them for no good reason and

GAH! I can hear her frilly little giggle from here.

She's so fake.

And I mean FAKE. She must be a muggle-born. Lily explained to me how sometimes muggle-born girls who feel self-conscious about their chest area and/or they don't really have a chest area, will sometimes get this thing called platonic circumference to make their breasts bigger.

She SO must have gotten that. I mean, come on, why else would she be using them in attempts to snag the cuter/older guys? All that rubbing her breasts against him and giggling like the demented turtle-spawn that she is and

Ahem, I seem to have somehow broken my quill. It just… snapped in two. Thankfully I have the nerds handy and so I am borrowing Lily's quill and I was sadly forced to decline Remus's offer of a quill himself and

HEY! I thought it was just my ink that was bewitched, but I had a sudden streak of slight braveosity and so I asked Remus if he could read anything in my journal on this page and he just shook his head and stared at me like I was crazy.

This world is a glorious place!

Oh, Merlin, no it certainly is not.

Her name's Gabrielle, I've just heard Peter say something to her. Gabrielle.

G-A-B-R-I-E-L-L-E.

I can't stand this. I can't contain myself.

I turned to Lily and hissed in her ear. "Look at that Gabrielle girl and tell me she didn't get that platonic circumference muggle stuff on her breast-ages."

Lily just kind of stared at me for a minute in a surprisingly 'Remus' look. Then she just smiled and blinked slowly. "Platonic circumference, huh Faylinn?"

I nodded all enthusiastic-like. "Yes. On her basoomers. Look at how huge they are. That's just not humanly possible, is it? I mean, I know it's not FAIRILY possible. Hell, if my tits were that size, I'd be so unbalanced that I'd look more like a wild pig. You know, a female one. Pregnant. Big boobs and unable-to-walk and all." (Which kind of brings light to the whole 'wizards are obsessed with turning things into pigs' theory. They must be studying fairies. In a very twisted way.)

Lily did her dumb blinky-thing again. Honestly, she needs to stop that. It makes me feel so inferior. As if I don't feel inferior enough with Miss Big-Mamma-Jammas all rubbing her breast-ables on Sirius. She just goes, "Oh, you mean plastic surgery?"

"Same thing." I told her plainly and nod my head towards Gabrielle's general direction. I refuse to actually look at her more than I have to. Sights like that could permanently damage my eyesight, I mean, COME ON! I whisper all low and stealth-like, "So, what's the verdict, Captain Evans? Are they real or are they, er, not real?"

Lily sighed. I hate it when she sighs. It means she's thinking, and that's never – ever – a good thing. "I doubt it, Faylinn." She said all sigh-like. "Gabrielle comes from a wizard family, so she probably doesn't even know what plastic surgery is."

I scowled at her. I mean, seriously, she deserved that scowl. All that, "she's from a wizard family" garbage. So? I'm from a, er, wicked twisted family and I know what it is! Granted, Lily's the one who told me, but whatever.

Then I was struck with a rare geniusness that I sometimes develop in moments of pure distress (i.e., now). I turned back to Lily and tugged on her arm in a tiny-bit of a violent way (only a little) to make sure I had her attention and I went, "It's a SPELL then! It has to be! I bet she inflamed them all on her own, the conniving little –"

"Why do you CARE so much?" Lily interrupted me.

I just stared at her. And then, Merlin help me, I said the only thing I could think of, since I was aware that Helen was being her nosybody self and eavesdropping on this last bit of our conversation.

I said, "Because I'm a flighty, gossipy teenager and I need to know these things."

I know, lame. But guess what?

She so totally bought it.

Sort of. She just rolled her eyes at me and went back to eating her food – which, might I add, she hasn't really been EATING, just kind of shuffling around from one side of her plate to the other.

This suddenly bothered me so I nudged her again, only not as harsh as before, and whispered, "You okay, Lils?"

She just looked at me and gave me one of her award-winning smiles and said, "I'm fine, Faylinn." Then she just laughed and turned back to Helen and the other girls.

Oh. My. Blueberry. Freaking. Muffin.

Okay, I don't care how many times I've told Lily that if I was a muggle, I'd have a wicked shot at being one of those "actress" things but…

Well, let's just say that she doesn't.

I'll talk to her later, I suppose, see what's bugging her. Why isn't she eating? She loves those little pieces of bread with that nicely melted butter and all! It's just SITTING there! It's just

Remus is so annoying. Dumb jerk.

Okay, so, I'm all sitting here peacefully, all writing to myself and he goes, "I can hear you, you know."

At first I thought he meant about when I was asking Lily if she was okay – which she clearly is not – but then I figured that that was fully not important. So then I turned very slowly and stared at Remus.

Can he read my mind, maybe? Does he know what I'm thinking? Ohmyblueberrymuffin. Blueberry muffin. Strawberry. Raspberry. Anything berry, GAH GAH GAH!

I tried to be all cool about it so I just toss my hair over my shoulder in an attempt at being "suave" (which only resulted in me poking him in the nose and then elbowing Lily in the side of the head). I frowned and went, "What are you talking about you daft bloke?"

He smiled (I will wipe that smirk right off your face, boy!), "About Gabrielle."

Jerk. Oh, couldn't it be ANYONE else with wolfy senses and whatnot? Why does HE have to be the one to hear me bad-mouth Sirius's latest fling-a-ma-thing? I mean, he's SO gonna tell him now and

Oh. He just said, "I'm not gonna say anything, so you can stop having a panic-attack."

Well, that's reassuring. Ish.

Still, his jerkiness is still jerkiness, so I scoffed at him and said, "I am angry with you, wolf-boy. Please do not talk to me for the rest of our meal. You may speak when we return to the common room, but not before, understood?" He just rolled his eyes and continued eating, so I suppose he's agreed to shush up like a good puppy-dog.

I'm a tad bored now.

I can see him.

Across from me and three seats to the left.

He's still kind of obscured by Remus, but I can see him, regardless.

His hair is falling in his eyes in that total casual way that makes him seem like he doesn't have a care in the world. (But he does. He told me he does.) And he's smiling at something that Gabrielle or Peter or James said.

I really do like his smile.

See, this is why he should just tell Gabrielle to back off. She can't possibly appreciate his hair and his smile like I can. And I seriously doubt she knows ANYTHING about him except that he's a popular seventh year boy, known for causing trouble and breaking girl's hearts.

Ack!

I was just staring at him kind of blankish (I hope) and then suddenly he started laughing and giving Gabrielle a few of his best grins. Then he just, very slowly…

Looked at me.

And he just…

Stopped smiling.

And I just…

Stared.

And he just…

Stared.

It would have been the perfect opportunity for a staring-contest, if not for the unfortunate circumstances.

I was the first one to look away, I guess. Maybe we looked away at the same time, I don't know. But when I looked back up from picking at my chewed-to-bits nails in my lap, he was just sitting there, saying something to Gabrielle.

This isn't fair. I can't even win at a freaking staring contest. My, I'm pathetic.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

First day of February. Lucky me, right?

Lily's taken to just not talking to me about anything other than class-related topics. (So I can't even ask her where the HECK she's getting all those stuffed animals!)

I don't blame her really. I mean, it's not like I'm that much of an agreeable person lately. I keep snapping at her for the tiniest things and, you know me, I'm not much for apologies, even if it's something little.

She still asks me if something's bothering me, though. Every once in awhile, I mean. It's actually pretty random. Like yesterday in Transfiguration, she just turned to me right while McGonagall was going through instructions and she asked me, "Faylinn, what's WRONG?" I just shrugged and continued to stare at the professor in what I hoped was a total nonchalant way.

I still haven't told her anything about what happened over the Winter Holidays. I don't know why. I mean, I was going to tell her RIGHT AWAY, you know? But when I actually had the chance, I just chickened out and decided to keep it to myself.

I haven't managed to keep my cool near as well around Remus, though.

A week ago was the full moon and so NATURALLY he was pretty moody already. And, of course, I was in one of my weird moods and…

I don't know how it happened. One minute we were sitting in a corner of the library studying and the next he was going on and on about how I need to grow up and such and such mean things that I don't care to write down. We haven't spoken since.

I don't see what I have to grow up about.

I'm not THAT immature, am I? I mean, Lily's the one throwing a teddy bear in the wastebasket every damn day!

Ugh, it's just all really messed up, you know? It has to stop. I know what I'll do.

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Dear Journal,

It's been a few weeks since the last time I wrote. I tried talking to Remus over and over again and he just kept walking away from me or (if he was sitting down) standing up and leaving the room.

Helen had a sudden moment of niceosity and suggested that I talk to James or Sirius about Remus's attitude, but I just told her I'd be able to handle it on my own.

And I can. Handle it on my own, I mean.

It can't be that bad.

Oh, Lily just came in the dorm room with another stuffed animal (Aw, look, it's a puppy). She tossed it in the wastebasket and just stared at me.

Shit. She got all concerned all of a sudden and came and gave me this great big hug and everything.

I guess it's because I was crying, which is something I hadn't even realized I was doing beforehand.

She asked me what was wrong but I just kind of stared at her, slightly sniffling.

She sighed. "It's about that Black boy, isn't it?" She asked slowly.

How does she KNOW these things?!

SERIOUSLY!

I'm a bit hazy on the details NOW, but after that I started crying a lot more and she just kind of comforted me a bit I guess. Although, I have to say, no matter how good of a friend Lily is to me, her "shhhh"s and "It's okay"s didn't really have the effect that she was probably aiming for, as they just made me cry harder.

And it wasn't about Sirius! It was about Remus! I was sad that he was being all EVADE, you know?

But, I don't know… I guess it didn't help that she brought up Sirius.

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Dear Faylinn,

You're fast asleep like a little angel right now so I'm just going to write you a letter, how's about that?

Anyway, I'm really sorry about Sirius and whatever it is he did to you. I wish you'd talk to me. I know I can't help much, but I can try. I mean, we're friends, right? And, while I have other friends, you're kind of like my best friend. It's just not fair to see you so sad all the time.

I'm sorry Faylinn, but that's really not why I'm writing this letter.

I'm writing to tell you something really important to me.

Okay, but first you have to promise not to attack me (or anything) with great big cries of "I told you so" or what have you. I trust that you won't – or you'll put this letter down right now.

Great, now that that's settled. Maybe you haven't noticed it, but… Okay, I'll just tell you bluntly.

James started up again. You know, with all that stalking me around and asking me to be his girlfriend.

It started just a few days after we returned from Winter Hols. He came up to me in the corridor and asked me very quietly – I suppose so that no one else would hear him. I didn't really know what to do. I guess I'm just not used to it anymore, since it's been awhile since the last time he's asked me that. So I just shook my head slowly and all he did was nod and hand me some really pretty pink flowers and then he walked away.

I threw the flowers away in the wastebasket once I got back to the dorm room, though, so I don't remember if you saw them or not.

But that's not all. A few days after that, he asked me again – this time in the common room (how we ended up ALONE, I have no idea) – but this time I actually managed to say "No" without looking like a complete fool. All he did was smile and place some cute little candies in my hand and then walk away.

I kept the candies, though. I was going to eat them really, since they looked really good. But I just threw them in my trunk and they've been there ever since, so I believe they've gone bad now.

After that, though, he started asking every day. Yes, very single day. (Except yesterday, which I'll get to in a minute.)

Every time I said no, he just smiled and gave me a stuffed animal. They used to be different – you know, a dog, an elephant, a kneazle, a cat, etc. – but then they were all teddy bears. They all looked different, mind you, but I'm just saying… they were all bears. I threw them all in the garbage of course, though.

The day before yesterday, he cornered me outside the girl's bathroom (you know, the one with Moaning Myrtle) and asked me again. When I said no, he just smiled again and handed me another teddy bear. I don't know what happened, though, I couldn't help it! I just smiled at him and said, "So many bears…" Then he just grinned and walked off.

He didn't ask me yesterday. Come to think of it, I didn't even see him at all yesterday, since it was Sunday. But that's not the point, so I'll continue.

A few hours ago, I was leaving the library when he walked up to me. He didn't say anything that time, though, so we just stared at each other for a few seconds. Then he smiled and pulled another stuffed animal out from behind his back. But this time, it was a little stuffed dog. Then he came up to me and before I knew it, he had kissed my cheek and walked away.

I really don't know how to explain it, Faylinn, but I'm going to go crazy if he keeps doing this. I'm serious!

He likes this little game, I can tell. It frustrates him, that's apparent, but it also gives him some sort of rush. What would he do if the game was over? If I actually said yes when he asked me? I keep getting the feeling that he wants what he can't have. So what's going to happen if he gets it? Is he just going to let it go?

And please remember that I'm here for you when you need some one to talk to,

Lily

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Dear Diary,

I've just finished reading Lily's letter to me, but she's already left the dorm room for the morning.

All I have to say is –

Holy shit, dude.

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::AN:: Hope you like! The next update should be pretty soon as well, so don't worry. I kind of like this chapter… I wanted to do something a little different than just dialogue and all that… lol Anyway, I know it's horrible of me to keep begging you for reviews, but, er, Please Review!