Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.
- Chapter four: Sailing for Lapin Beach -
"…Are you awake?"
"No."
"Aw, come on. Fu's giving me a hard time already. I don't want to have to report back with a negative answer. You know what she can be like."
Seifer sighed. "Yes, I know. I know that all to well. Listen Raj, tell her…that I'll be right there. Tell her I'm sorry about the dinner."
He got up from the couch and looked at the clock. It was nearly evening again. He had managed to stay out of Fujin's way most of the day.
He had not wanted to face her after their argument. Especially not now he knew SeeDs were coming to Dollet to protect her. He might have let it slip and that would've caused a lot of trouble not only for him, but for Rajin too.
Seifer didn't understand why Rajin had made the decision to call in SeeD, all he knew was that, personally, he didn't really care about her safety.
Little more than two weeks till the wedding and here he was, willing to lose his bride. It confused him. He straightened his collar and headed for the balcony.
He could see her small frame from a distance and felt a pang inside his heart. How come he couldn't feel for her? Why couldn't he just care back? She loved him and would do anything to have him. Then why didn't this knowledge soften him towards her?
To be honest, he had softened towards her. But love…no that was not what he felt. He had searched inside his heart many times for the feelings he had once cherished for her.
He had tried to remember what it had felt like to love her. The constant tingle in his stomach when he had seen her, the never ending need to see her, hold her, kiss her.
But every time when he had finally called back this feeling, he was reminded of the feelings he'd had for Quistis.
And even though it felt like some sort of betrayal not to feel the right kind of love for Fujin, it felt like an even bigger betrayal to pretend to love her more than he had loved the girl who had died for him.
He closed his eyes for a minute to regain his calm before approaching his fiancée.
"Rajin said you wanted to see me?"
"YES." she said as quietly as she could.
Her stance, her voice, every thing about her that moment told Seifer how much she was hurting. He stepped up closer to her and rested his hands on her shoulders.
"Fu…please forgive me for shouting the way I did. It's just…you know how hard this is for me. I- I saw her die. I will never be able to forget that. You have to understand."
"THREE MONTHS." she said, fighting to keep her voice even. "THREE MONTHS, SEIFER."
She shrugged his hands off and turned around.
"I. HURT."
Looking into her eyes he could see she meant it. It saddened him to notice that all he felt was a friendly compassion. He hugged her tightly.
"…I know. We both do. Please…" he forced himself to say those words. "…forgive me. I will try harder."
"OKAY." she whispered.
He released her from the hug before she could return it and looked at her.
"The party tomorrow….it will be flawless. I will try my best and I don't want to let you down. I do care for you, you know."
But deep inside he knew this was only a lie. A lie to keep the peace and maybe even to try and convince not only Fujin, but himself as well.
Perhaps it would come true if he just said and thought it often enough. And perhaps then he would be able to let go of the past and find those feelings lost in the dusty archives of his mind.
"Okay people. Briefing time." Squall said as he clapped his hands. "We'll be arriving not to long from now. The girl in question does not know about this action and must not be alerted. We must avoid her finding out. We shall attend an engagement party tonight and we'll go in pairs. Selphie and Zell, you'll try and keep an eye on her, so stay close to her but remain invisible to her as well. Quistis and I shall monitor the people who enter and we'll be walking in the corridors most of the time. Zell, screen."
Zell switched off the light and pressed a button, directing a beam of light onto a projection screen. A map of a building appeared.
"This is the main floor." Squall continued. "The other floors will be sealed off and therefore are not important to us. Now these entrances…"
Quistis' attention slowly faded. All she could think of was the place she was going. And it was an engagement party too. It was too much of a coincidence to her.
She knew she would end up in Fujin's manor, protecting her against some threat, while deep inside she couldn't care less if her client would end up hurt or dead.
But the thing that scared her most was seeing him again. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face him. She hoped she could hide in the corridors most of the time. As long as she could hide from him, she would be alright.
Silently she thanked Squall for deciding that Selphie and Zell were on close surveillance this time. Perhaps Squall did know. But she didn't care anymore. It would be best if she got over Seifer once and for all.
There was no hope for them left and she could not let herself wither away because of one crazy love. The sooner she got over him, the better.
Selphie put her hand on Quistis' shoulder. "Are you alright?"
Quistis nodded. "I…I think I am, strange enough. I think…I think I could get myself to let go. I will...I must."
Selphie smiled encouragingly. "Good. That's good. But…don't force yourself into anything. No decisions and no new loves. Take your time. Trust me, time's the best healer in the world."
Quistis offered her a weak smile and got up. She wandered onto the deck and took in the salty scent of the ocean.
Ahead, Lapin Beach was waiting for their arrival. She thought back to the time when her friends had not yet become SeeDs. She remembered seeing Squall staring out over the ocean, somewhere around the spot she was standing now.
Times had been good then. She even recalled that she had thought about Squall as more than just a friend, with slight embarrassment. That had been one of those parts of her life she'd gladly erase, just because of how embarrassing it was.
She had not known the feeling of real love back then.
"Hey…" she said softly, feeling that someone else was watching her from a small difference.
He lowered his head slightly and leaned on the banister next to her.
"You know you'll have to focus. We can't have you thinking about something else when we enter battle. Or just during this entire mission. We rely on you a lot, you know. You're a powerful fighter."
Quistis knew he was right and she had been telling herself the same thing over and over again before she had gotten onboard this vessel.
"I'm sorry." she said. "I'll work on it."
"I trust you, Quistis. If you say you can sort it out, then I'll assume that's the score when we land at Lapin Beach."
They stared out in front of them again. The beach was drawing nearer and the city with it.
"I'm going back inside. There will be a last minute briefing in three minutes." he said, walking back towards the door.
Before he closed it he looked back at Quistis.
"…Time is the best healer, you know."
Before she could respond, he had closed the door. Her heart was beating slightly faster.
"He knows…" she whispered to the wind. "He knows."
He knew and he was supporting her. He had tried to say something nice, to console her. He wasn't really the ice-cold person everybody took him for. You just needed to know how to read him.
She smiled, knowing she had another friend she could confide in.
She got back inside and sat down at the table. She looked at Squall and he nodded with a slight smile, knowing she was saying 'thanks'.
He turned back to the others. "Right. Now when we get there, we will no be able to carry our own weapons. It would be too suspicious. Selphie, stock as much magic as you can. Healing and offensive. The others will focus more on the offensive side of battle. I want you all to have at least one GF junctioned. As for physical attacks, you will all be given a gun. Slide them down your boots. Zell, you'll be allowed to use your fists, but you'll have to hand in your gloves."
He opened a silvery case and shoved it towards them across the desktop.
"Quistis, I've given you some extra bullets imbued with a bit of blue magic. It's a project of doctor Odine."
She nodded and took the gun with her nametag and slid it down her boot.
"What about you, Squall? Don't you get a gun?" Selphie asked as she noticed that the case was empty.
He shook his head. "I already have mine. But because it's so small, I have another weapon."
He showed them a very thin and short sword.
"Another one of Odine's projects. It's made of some sort of very light and very strong metal. I'll be testing it for him if we run into a close combat situation."
A green light near the exit started to glow, signalling their arrival.
As one they stood up, reading their gear and equipment for the last time.
Selphie pocketed her handgun and straightened her yellow skirt.
"I feel so…underdressed without my own weapon." She whispered to Quistis.
Quistis chuckled. "I know what you mean. A gun is hardly worth holding, isn't it. Not much there to hold on to."
Squall gave them a stern look.
"Focus ladies." he said. "We're here."
Phew…finally done with my exams. I feel so tired and empty right now…I scored alright in English, but German is a whole different story, I think. There was this huge part about genetically altered fish! How boring can that be! It was terrible. I'm not sure I got enough stuff right, but we'll see in a short while. In the mean time, I'll continue Hyperion Queen of course! And thank you everyone who reviewed :)
Firess Ifrit Devil: hehe, you call this tense? Wait till everyone meets up, muahahaa (evil grin :P) Glad you were happy with the story alert thing. Yeah, I needed something to take my mind off school and I thought 'what better way to spend my time than to place an update?' So, there is was! And here was this one too :D I'll see you soon.
Dark Angels: I hope you did well on your literature exam! We had a few like that too. One for English, one for French and one for German. I scored best in English, of course. 9.5 out of 10 points! Anyway, hope you scored well! And I know exactly what you mean when you say you're more inspired to write now that you've got to study. I've got exactly the same thing. But I forced myself not to write and now that I'm done, I can dedicate myself fully to writing a story about Rinoa losing her mind. Strangely, she's in my good book now that I'm playing the game again. She one of my most powerful team members, so perhaps that's why I suddenly like her again :P
Matron Raenee: I hope you didn't have to wait too long for this update :) I'm glad you liked seeing Quistis again, and you'll see a lot more of her soon. But I need to continue switching p.o.v's for a while, just to be able to explain how feelings are on both sides of the story. I hope you don't mind seeing a lot of Seifer too ;) I'll see you at the next chapter!
JadeAlmasy: I do intend to keep the chapters coming! This story took me far too much work not to continue it ;) And I'm glad you like it still. See you at the next chapter!
Thank you for reviewing, you four. I can now focus on stories completely because the exams are over. So there's me happy! But I had to go on a sort of interview last night (again ) Because I'm going to study in a different town, I need to find a room for me in that town. But before you get one, your perhaps-future-housemates interview you and a few other people to see who they like best. And this was my fifth interview because up till now, they never chose me :( . It's just that I'm getting tired of driving there, two hours. Then being interviewed, another two hours, and then driving back, another two hours! And on top of that; I need to stay up till midnight because that's when they might call if they chose me. So the last five times I staid up for nothing even though I was really, really tired.
Oh well, nothing I can do about it, eh? I'll just hunt for more rooms :) So anyway, I'll see you guys at the next chapter, bye!
love, Raven55