Broken Trust chapter 9

The morning sun was shining bright. Brighter then Sam wanted. Now she was all alone in her apartment, minutes ago Sage left off to school. Being alone was something she was use to, found comfort in. Too much was going on at once and a part of her couldn't help but worry.

Last night she and Jason opened to each other, she wondered if that was just a big mistake. She was honest about her feelings but she was still lying about her reasons for being back in Port Charles. It was too late to tell him the truth now. Now as she sat looking out her window she was sure someone was following her last night. But who? The answer could change her life in many different ways.

Her life could be coming to a bitter end and all she could think about was Jason. It was nice to hear him say those words but in true Jason fashion he pulled away from her. Using little words a possible, walking away as soon as he could. It got too serious, she understood that more then he thought.

Sam closed her eyes tight, pushing her thoughts away. She stood from her seat and grabbed her car keys. Slamming the front door behind her. Driving always helped her relax, ease her thoughts. Her heart felt so full of, love sadness, worry, pain. It was all too much but again like so many other times in her life, there was nothing she could do.

There was no one else on the morning streets. A part of her wanted to run the red light, no one was around but the last thing Sam needed was cop trouble.

Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind

They loved each other but couldn't be together, Sam reminded her self. It sounded so odd but it was true. They were so alike that they were different. Love wasn't for them, he tried it and it bit him square in the ass. Sam tried it and now look where it got her. An overdrive of emotions and headaches. But her mind always traveled back to the kiss they shared last night, the nights they shared in the past. The night she knew it wasn't sex anymore, she loved him.

Last night could've been perfect, if they were different people. They chose this life and now there was nothing to be done about the backfires. It was easy to get lost in the happy thoughts but the bad ones were right there. One of the toughest jobs she had ever done was coming to an end. She pissed off so many people. She wondered if there would be peace in death. She wondered if anyone would miss her, she hoped Jason would always. She would miss him.

The sad thoughts put a bitter sweet smile on her face. She realized she was crying.

First you wanna be free
Now you say you need me
Giving mixed signals in size
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again

She wanted to drive to him, wrap her arms tight around him and never let go. It was a nice fantasy. But it wasn't easy. She would have to let go and let him in all the way and she couldn't. the same way he couldn't. the same way he ran last night.

Sam wondered what would happen is she ran like she did in the past. Run from life, run for her life. She needed to get away and just be free. The light changed and she went, no where in mind to stop, just keep going.

Push the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane

Did she regret it all? Her life and it's out come? Absolutely.

She knew if she hadn't been a theft, con woman, she would've never met Jason but that's ok, she thought. If it was meant to be they would've met another way. She did regret her past with Jason, it shouldn't have happened that way. She should've been honest in what she wanted, a real relationship. But he would've ran pulled away like he had last night.

This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away

Her cell phone rang, she had forgotten she grabbed it on her way out. "McCall." she answered.

"The big man asked me to call for an update."

"It was sent out yesterday and the rest will be later on tonight." Sam explained as she kept her eyes on the rode.

"Where is it now?"

"My place."

"Alone?"

"Yes. No one knows where I live. It's safe so stop worrying." Sam curtly explained.

"You sure?"

"I would've have said it if I wasn't sure. He knows this is it right? My last job and that no amount of money is making me do 'just one more job' Make sure he knows that Jimmy, I swear this is it." Sam explained with a tone that left no room for discussion with the man on the other line.

"He knows Sammy but that doesn't mean he likes it."

"I don't care anymore. I can't handle this anymore. Looking over my shoulder wondering what everything means, I can't. The first step of getting control is leaving this job." Sam said. She hoped her words would be true in the long haul.

"What are your plans once it's over? Staying in PC?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I gotta go." Sam hung up the cell phone and tossed it next to her.

She didn't want to turn around and go home, she didn't want to finish the job. She wanted to leave. Leave it all behind.

Push the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
To a place where I can be redefined
Where you're out of sight
And you're out of mind
But the truth is I can't even say goodbye

She knew if she just left now he would look for her but she couldn't say goodbye anymore. It just hurt too much. Sam's life was never easy but now it was worse then before. Snap out of it, she told her self over and over and she turned and headed home. Again no one was in her way, just the open rode.

Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind

As soon as she neared her apartment the sense of something was wrong hit her full force. With caution she parked and headed upstairs. She listened to every little sound, a clue to what ever the feeling was. Her hand reached for her gun as she walked toward her door.

The door was wide open and the place was completely trashed. "I guess I jinxed myself when I said no one knew where I lived." she bitterly pointed out to herself as she looked around. The one important thing was missing, the thing that she was paid to keep safe. She knew her name would now be on multiple murder lists. Of everyone she failed. "Damn." was all she could say.

AN: I know this chapter is short and maybe doesn't make sense. But next chapter it all comes together

Isabelle A.