Oh my. Gosh. I have some explaing to do for my last chapter. I am really sorry about it. I am not proud of it at all. In fact, I'm disappointed in it. But I needed to get something up to get some of the plot rolling again. I hope this one can make up for it.
Like last time, the review answers are at the bottom.
After mediating Raven felt better… She knew she would never feel as she wanted to be, free. One day she hoped to defeat her father. But this hope was always crushed by her self esteem.
"Yo Rae! Come on to the living room!" Cyborg said, knocking on Raven's door.
Raven opened her door and slid out. Why were they asking her to do this?
"Friends…" Starfire was standing in front of the couch where Raven, Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy sat, turning their full attention to her.
"I am going to have to leave to go back to Tamaran!" Starfire said, sadness in her usually perky voice. Her emerald eyes were cast downward. "Though I promise to return."
This was it. Starfire was going to train. Beast Boy was going to train. Cyborg and Robin were going to train. They were getting ready to decide Raven's fate.
"I will leave tomorrow." Starfire said, her voice getting weak.
"M-maybe we… should… see a movie, as one last memory together as a team." Beast Boy said. "What about Star Wars?"
"I think the whole group should come." Robin said, putting emphasis on whole.
"Fine." Raven grumbled.
Before she knew it, Raven was in a car on the way to the late night showing of Star Wars.
Raven watched the figures dance around with their Lightsabers, killing relentlessly for what one believed to be a good cause. Raven sighed and pretended not to care.
"The dark side of the force!"
"The dark side is the evil side!"
"STAY WITH US ANAKIN! THIS IS A MISTAKE!"
Raven shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The dark side is always the evil side… I am the dark side… I am… evil.
The movie ended, leaving Raven in a blur with herself. Was she evil because she was dark? No. She tried to be good… She fought evil. Slade was evil. But Slade is dark… Dr. Light was evil… He isn't much of a threat…
"I'm going to go meditate." Raven said almost robotically as she headed up to her room.
She locked the door behind her and ran into the bathroom.
Well well, you decided to come see me! Raven's reflection taunted her. The ugly worthless bastard decided to come see me!
Raven glared at her mirror. She was breathing heavily.
Decide to end your life Raven? Not until you give us offspring!
"I CAN'T WAIT NINE FUCKING MONTHS TO DIE!" The words that fell from Raven's lips were cold and angry.
So you considered it! You want to die and you are willing to have a child to do so? Raven when you die you join your father's side!
"Not if I don't believe him. Death is my own choice."
You lie to yourself. You wouldn't kill yourself anyways, not tonight. Because tonight… I WILL KILL YOU FIRST!
"NO!"
"RAVEN OPEN THE GOD DAMNED DOOR AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG IN THERE!"
Robin's voice shot through Raven's head. "Damn." She said.
"Open. That. Door. NOW!" Robin was hammering on the bathroom door now, he had punched in the code and entered Raven's room.
"No. Leave me ALONE!" The bathroom window shattered, hitting Raven with shards of glass. She didn't cry out. She didn't flinch. She didn't move.
"WHAT WAS THAT!"
"YOUR OWN FAULT! GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"Not until you tell me why you left so fast!"
"Because I needed to medidate. I will say goodbye to Starfire later!"
"SHE JUST LEFT!"
That hit Raven hard. "Get the hell out of my room and away from me. Right. Now."
Raven heard Robin give in and leave, he knew he wouldn't be able to convince her to come out of her bathroom if she didn't want to.
Starfire had… left. Already… Without a word of goodbye. Raven held her arm and bit her lip. How could she go out to the Titans now? After Robin had seen her so… distraught. Though Raven knew it wouldn't matter soon, the team would find out what part she played in the prophecy. Soon they would hate her…
"Raven?" A quiet knock came on her bathroom door.
"Hmmm?"
"I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but I'm sorry." Robin said from the other side of the door. Raven better talk to him, he apologized to her, this was a rarity.
"I'm sorry Robin…" Raven whispered.
Robin heard her whisper and tightened up. Why was she sorry?
Raven opened the door. She needed to tell someone… Robin was the only one who might understand her. But how? How could she tell him? What could she do if the team didn't accept her? She felt so weak and powerless…
"Raven is there anything I can do to help?" Robin asked. "I feel like this is my fault and-"
"Don't feel like it's you're fault. It's not."
"Who else is there to blame?"
"Me Robin. Me. This is my fault. It's my fault because I was born!"
"Raven, no, that's not true."
Raven turned to face Robin. "Do you remember anything I tell you?"
"Yes!" Robin cried out defensively.
"Then recall when I told you about the prophecy that dictates my life! That dictates why I medidate, why I can't feel, why I even bother to get up every day." Raven narrowed her eyes and Robin and pulled her cape around her tighter than it already was.
"You mean… what?"
Even Robin was confused. Raven lost all hope. "Nevermind!"
"Is this about you thinking you are evil? Raven you are not evil!"
You say that now… Raven thought to herself.
Robin looked back at Raven, trying to read her face as much as she tried to read his and turned to leave.
Everything Raven had hoped for slid away from her. Her team would have no belief in her, she was nothing to them now. If they ever accepted her it would be too late. Raven focused on not feeling as she used her powers to turn on her CD player. Nightwish came on, Tarja singing Nemo perfectly, quiet piano looping around the room, guitar dancing in Raven's ears, and a perfect drum beat to keep everyone going.
"What am I going to do?" Raven asked the stiff air of her room. She felt so enclosed… The end was coming, it wouldn't be long. Starfire was gone, Beast Boy was actually working on training, and Robin and Cyborg were working on weapons. This would be the hardest battle they fought, though Raven didn't tell them that. She let them guess. She knew Robin was expecting Slade… It would be much harder than Slade. Much harder.
Will they survive? Raven asked herself. She knew their chances were slim. Raven couldn't spend time watching them, she had to fight for herself. If she could fight… this was so inevitable. Why?
Raven stood up. Maybe part of it was the guitar in the background, strong and steady giving her courage. Or the vocals, between the harshness of the male singer and the light perfection of the female Raven felt a sense of confidence over her. They may have taken meditation away from her, but not the feeling music could give her to press onward.
Blood would be thick. She would put a stop to Trigon's rule. Even if she died trying. Raven knew what she was risking was right. Her team members would be the only things that mattered.
Would he… hurt me? The prophecy couldn't countinue if he did… Raven smiled. They couldn't touch her, or she couldn't countinue their wishes. Raven had already won one small battle. Oddly enough she had a sense of pride, though Raven knew it wouldn't last long. Feelings like pride never lasted with her. Always shot down by her caged emotions, looking for an exit.
Raven left the safety of her room, she was headed towards the kitchen to make herself some herbal tea. On the way she passed a training room, where Beast Boy struggled to become a demon. Raven watched in amazement, very rarely could Beast Boy do something well… right. He was beginning to master everything. He now had to learn the hard part. How to think like a demon without losing control of himself. Raven had warned him about this, she hoped he would take heed to her warning. But being Beast Boy, she doubted it.
From Cyborg's room she heard "Booyah's" and "I told you it would work if we did it my way's" through the door. Raven had to contain a smile, she feared something would explode. At least the boys were coming along.
Raven was about to check on Starfire, but realized her cheery friend was gone. She needed higher training. Raven hoped Starfire would be alright. It would kill her from the inside out of she was not.
Calmly Raven began to make her tea. She sat in silence with herself. How could she tell the team? She needed to break it to Robin first, she knew that much. Robin was the most rational of the Titans, he would make the most sense to go to. But still… something held Raven back. Of course, what did his opinion matter to her?
Did his opinion matter? No. No. It couldn't. It didn't. Now was not the time for petty emotions. There is never time for petty emotions. Raven rubbed her right temple, trying to clear her mind. A migraine was coming on, she knew it.
Just then the kettle decided to announce it was finished with the water. A shrill shriek filled the air, causing Raven to flinch.
Raven poured the steaming water into her teacup, a crimson cup that fit perfectly in her hands and walked over to the couch to sit down. It was finally peaceful in the living room, a rarity in the T-Tower.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN?"
Of course, peace never lasts.
"Raven I'm so glad I found you. Raven! RRRAAAAAAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEN? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"
"Yes shut up before I stop!"
"Right sorry." The green boy that had rushed into the room calmed down. He plopped himself on the couch next to Raven who had chosen that exact moment to sip her tea. Raven felt the hot liquid settle on her. She flashed Beast Boy a look of annoyance and cleaned herself off.
"Any other way you can make a mess?"
"Yes… I mean no! Sorry. But I need you're help Raven!"
"With what?" Raven had to keep herself from snapping with the changeling.
"With the demon-changy-thingy."
"Oh." Raven softened up. "Of course. What do you need help with? You seemed to be well… actually doing everything right last time I walked by."
"Except thinking like a demon!"
"That is the hard part. You have to accept being a demon and get used to it. Then you have to accept it's instinct. You become it. You inherit natural instinct. You must do this slowly." Raven put emphasis on slowly.
"Ohkay! That… actually makes some sense."
"Yeah I'm pretty surprised you aren't drooling by now."
"Hah. Hah. Very funny. I don't always drool!"
"Always would be the key word there."
"You're just jealous."
"Of what?"
"Of- of… of… not being green!"
"No. I'm not jealous. Sometimes I get green after looking at you and it really isn't very much fun."
Beast Boy stuck his tongue out. "Fine. You win! BUT I STILL AM BETTER AT VIDEO GAMES!"
"Wow. That's something to be proud of." Raven said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
Beast Boy scrunched up his face at Raven, then turned around and walked away. Raven was at peace again, and finally got to sip her tea, nice and slow… no… interruptions…
That was until dinner came. But that argument would be at least a few hours off. For now Raven had peace.
Thank you for reading. Sorry if it was short but I'm still getting past the block and trying to take things slow here. So… I hope this is somewhat mediocre for you. Please review, I need advice, tips, ideas, yeah the whole shebang.
Xlife- Decent. Wow, you are too kind. Really. I don't think it was half-decent but thanks! Haha yeah Robin is pretty stupid there. I'll try and update as much as I can… sorry if it takes awhile.
Zoicytes-Shadow: Hah sorry for the inconvience. When I get on a computer with my e-mail I will check it! Thanks!
SakuraAngelina: Okay. I do like Sakura though. But Lale is pretty cool too. Yeah, I did. I'm very unhappy with those chapters… But I'm workin' on it, hopefully I'll slow myself down a little it. Thanks for the advice I REALLY need some. Hopefully this is getting better? You are so cool for pointing that out… I can't thank you enough.
AngeloftheSecondHell: No. That's really cool. Now I might get hands on a dollar bill and… a.) have something to be proud of, and b.) have some money. Yeah, I'm really, really unhappy with those last two chapters. I hope you forgive me! I don't know what to do with Starfire… I'm thinking. Could you give me some help there? Hah that would be cool. Okay! I think I read it but I have the worst memory ever, so I'll make sure I read and reviewed. I LOVE you're phrase! Haha I'm always out in dodgeball even though I'm not fat. I guess I just suck… okay I'm shutting up now.
Samael Archon: Well I'm getting better. Hmmph. Yeah… sorry about that. I just messed up there. I'm going to bring him back… NEXT CHAPTER. I think. No no… no fluff. RAE/ROB IS BETTER THAN ROB/STAR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Grumble, grumble… Thanks… The movie was awesome by the way. Kate is so cool!
They Call Me Sweetsnow: Thank you. Uhm… I guess advice on what to do in my story. That would be awesome. I'll try and update! Glad you like it!