The Quickening

Previously:

"No, you're not," Xander replied. "You're everything…. to me at least."

Faith sighed and closed her eyes, gently rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. Her anger and sadness had been replaced by a deep weariness that seemed to penetrate her bones. "Take me to the hospital, yeah?" Faith asked, looking over at him.

Chapter Twenty-Six:

Faith left the hospital with Xander shortly before dawn. A red glow filled the sky as he drove her home in Giles's car. Faith stared out of the passenger's window, her eyes blinded by the sun as it began to rise up over the buildings and houses that composed Sunnydale. For a moment, all she could see was white, until she blinked and looked away, shifting her eyes from the brightness to the road that lay ahead of them. As she had anticipated, the doctors made her speak with the police after they bandaged her wounds. The officers accepted her story about an unknown assailant who attacked her as she was out walking. Faith imaged that the police often received that story, from people who had been attacked by a demon, but did not know that such a thing even existed.

The doctors gave her a list of instructions to follow for changing her dressings on the wound above her eye and a detailed explanation of how she shouldn't engage in any strenuous activities while her ribs were healing. However, she knew what her body could handle and she knew, as a slayer, that it wouldn't be long before she could fight the good fight again. Faith shuddered to think what patrolling with Buffy would be like now. Although, she imagined that Buffy would try to ignore, or forget, the fact that they could have killed each other at Angel's mansion. Neither of them was holding back when they fought and it was only a matter of luck that one of them hadn't been more seriously injured. As it was, Faith had suffered several broken ribs, though Buffy had walked away without a scratch.

"You want me to stay with you?" Xander asked, taking his eyes off the road as he stopped for a traffic signal.

"Why? So you can baby sit me, make sure I don't break any of the doctor's rules?" Faith replied jokingly.

"Something like that," Xander replied. The light changed to green and the car sped forward again. "But really, I just don't want to go home."

Faith looked over at him. Something in that way he had said the words reminded her a great deal of herself. She remembered staying out as long as she could at night so that she wouldn't have to spend any more time than necessary in her mother's apartment. If anyone had asked her why, she would have said the same thing as Xander. "Why not?" She asked softly, though she imagined that she already knew the answer to her question. Xander shrugged a little, his eyes practically glued to the road ahead. "It's okay, you know," Faith said, looking down at her hands. "You can tell me. I'm pretty sure it isn't something I haven't already heard."

Xander sighed and glanced over at her. He didn't like to talk about his family or his home life. His friends knew that he had a rather strained relationship with his parents. Willow even knew that his father had laid a hand on him once in a while. Buffy, on the other hand, didn't know anything about his family. He liked to keep it that way. He didn't want to become a burden to his friends and he certainly didn't want their pity. However, he knew that Faith wouldn't pity him if he told her about his home and he knew that she wouldn't think less of him for it. The others would have simply because they didn't know what it was like to come from a place of anger and despair. Faith, on the other hand, knew what that place was like.

"My dad's an ass," Xander said, softly. Faith nodded, knowing that she couldn't pressure him into telling her anything that he was not ready to tell. "He gets drunk a lot, beats on my mom. He's smacked me a round a couple of times. I go home and it feels like this empty place. There's nothing there for me. When I see my dad, I get this fear that I'll turn out like him. It's crazy, I know. I would never want to hurt anyone that I love and I don't understand how he can. But I can see myself in him sometimes."

"You're wrong," Faith replied. "There's nothing but good in you, Xan."

Xander smiled. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do," Faith responded. "I want you to stay."

"Do you want me to stay because of what I just told you, or because you really want me to?" Xander asked, looking over at her.

She looked him straight in the eyes when she responded, knowing that he needed to see that she was telling the truth. "I want you to stay because I want you there."

"Okay," Xander said, nodding in satisfaction and looking back at the road. "I'm glad. You know, you can talk to me about stuff too, if you ever want to."

"I know," Faith replied. "And I want to…I'm just not ready yet. I've never had anyone I could talk to before. It just takes some getting used to."

Xander pulled into a parking space just outside of Giles's apartment. "I'm here whenever you're ready," he said as they both got out of the car. Faith fished her keys out of her pocket as they walked to the apartment. She opened the door and stepped inside, Xander following closely behind her. Darkness greeted her eyes and she flipped on the lights in the living room as she led Xander back to her bedroom. They were both exhausted, emotionally and physically. It had been a strenuous night and Faith wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.

She closed her bedroom door after Xander entered, watching as he slipped off his jacket and shoes and flopped down on her bed. For a moment, she imagined what life would be like with Xander. She could see herself coming home to him every night and it did not frighten her like she thought it would. "You coming?" Xander asked groggily.

"Yeah," Faith said, moving over to the bed and lying next to him. He rolled over so he was facing her and draped his arm around her waist. Instinctively, she nestled against his chest with her head resting just under his chin. She could feel his heart beating, his breath becoming slower as he fell asleep. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, relishing his distinctive scent. She felt like she being cradled in the warm center of the universe. Just outside of the walls that separated her from the night, demons were prowling, killing innocent people, and wreaking havoc on all that was good and righteous. But lying in bed with Xander, with his arms wrapped around her, nothing else mattered. She felt safe.

Faith drifted off to sleep, content. But her peaceful sleep was soon interrupted by nightmares that plagued her mind. She dreamed that she was standing on a balcony of an apartment in the swankier part of Sunnydale, if such a place even existed. The wind whipped her hair in front of her face and she was standing on the ledge of the balcony. The moon was round, bloated, and the stars poked out of the sky like holes in a piece of cloth. Turning, she looked over her shoulder. Glass littered the floor of the balcony, from a now broken sliding glass door that stood just a few feet away. She could see a figure approaching her, but its face was blurry. She thought for a second that she recognized the person, but she couldn't place a name to the face. She could, however, distinctly see the knife that the person held. It flashed in the moonlight, the blade twinkling deadly and cold. The knife she recognized as well and it stirred some feeling of desire in her chest. She wanted it back but she did not know why.

"Who are you?" Faith asked, watching as the figure drew nearer. She stepped back, closer to the edge of the balcony.

A distorted voice answered that sounded like a mix of her own and something lighter, something familiar. "Can't you see me?" The figure asked. "Can't you recognize me? You see me everyday."

"I don't know you," Faith replied, taking another step back.

"I stare back at you when you look at yourself in the mirror," the figure replied. "I'm in everything you see. Every time you close your eyes, I'm the face that lingers in your memory."

"What you are you talking about?" Faith asked. The figure stopped walking and raised the knife a little.

"The same darkness that you see in me is in you, Faith," the figure said.

"I don't know what you mean," Faith replied forcefully, shaking her head.

"Yes, you do. Everyone thinks that you fight the forces of darkness out of a desire to do good," the figure said, tilting its head and looking down at the knife with lust in its eyes.

"That is why I fight," Faith replied.

"You even have yourself convinced of your little lie. How pathetic," the figure retorted, stepping closer. "I know why you really fight, Faith. I know who you're really fighting against."

"Shut up," Faith said menacingly, stepping closer to the figure instead of away from it.

"Are you afraid to hear what I have to say? Afraid that I'll be right?" The figure asked mockingly.

"I don't care what you have to say," Faith replied. "Leave me alone."

"You'll only end up hurting all of the people you love, Faith. It's the only thing you're good at. You think you can be like the rest of them, but you can't. You'll always have something inside of you that's different from everyone else," the figure said, stopping again.

"What's that?" Faith asked.

"The darkness. You don't fight against evil, Faith. You fight against yourself," the figure replied. "You fight against the evil that is in your heart."

"You're full of shit," Faith replied, turning away. She looked down over the edge of the balcony, but instead of seeing the road, all she saw was darkness.

"The thing is, Faith, you can't win," the figure said, stepping up onto the ledge beside her.

"What's down there?" Faith asked. The figure followed her eyes down into the abyss and smiled.

"Why don't you find out?" It asked. Faith stepped off the ledge, back on the solid ground of the balcony.

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I can't."

"Not yet," the figure replied. "But soon you'll be ready. Soon you'll want to."