The Quickening

Previously:

Angel looked down at her soberly. "Faith…I don't want to ask you this, as I already know how you feel about me, but I need your help."

Faith looked up at him, a sarcastic reply dying on her lips. She knew something weird was going on and she would kick herself later if she turned down her one opportunity to find out what it was. "Fine," Faith replied curtly. "But we're going to see Giles."

Chapter Thirty-One:

Faith and Angel sat on Giles's couch while the perturbed Watcher was making tea in the kitchen. Giles had been less than happy when Faith brought Angel home. He nearly laughed out loud when Angel asked for help. Faith understood his reluctance to help the souled vampire. Before Giles would even invite Angel in, he made sure he had a crossbow in hand. Though Faith wanted to help Angel, she was not about to forget that Angel was still a vampire – a vampire who had killed and hurt a great deal of people, including everyone Faith cared about.

"I guess they call this awkward silence, huh?" Angel commented dryly, glancing around the Watcher's apartment. Faith looked up, startled. She had almost forgotten that Angel was even sitting next to her; she was so deep in thought.

"What, they didn't have that two hundred years ago?" Faith asked sarcastically.

"No, they did," Angel replied. "Basically every moment of silence I ever had with my father was awkward." Faith looked over at Angel, curiosity shining in her eyes.

"You didn't get along with your father?" Faith asked. Angel smiled a little.

"More like my father didn't get along with me," Angel replied. "We had differing views on how I should've lived my life. I wanted to party all day. He wanted me to grow up and be a man."

"I take it he didn't win?" Faith asked.

"No," Angel said. "I completely wasted my life. Then I became a vampire and wasted two hundred some years killing people."

"But then you got the curse," Faith finished for him.

"Exactly. Killed the wrong girl and got cursed for it. But honestly, I wouldn't call it a curse," Angel replied.

"Really? Not being able to have sex with anyone for fear of turning evil and killing all of the important people in your life isn't a curse?" Faith asked.

Angel looked over at her. "Well, when you put it that way," he replied jokingly. "And it's not that I can't have sex with anyone, it's that I can't have a moment of pure happiness."

"Buffy gave you pure happiness?" Faith asked a bit sarcastically.

"You don't think it's romantic?" Angel asked.

"I've never really gone in for all of that romantic bullshit," Faith replied.

"It's not all bullshit. Some of it is. Valentine's Day, for instance, is total bullshit. You don't need a day to tell someone how much you care for them. That's not that point, though," Angel said. "The point is, for two hundred some years, I was asleep. I was walking around, talking, laughing, drinking, killing, but I was asleep. Angelus was in control of everything. But when they cursed me, it was like my eyes opened up."

"You woke up again," Faith said softly.

"Yeah," Angel replied. "I didn't handle it well for a while. Spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, living in an alley, and drinking blood from rats."

"That's pretty gross," Faith responded.

"I know," Angel agreed.

"So what happened?" Faith asked, intrigued by his story.

"This guy called Whistler found me. Told me I had a chance to make things right. So he took me out to California – Los Angeles, specifically – and told me to go see a girl," Angel said, smiling fondly at the memory. "So I went to Hemory High in Los Angeles and waited outside in a car with blackened windows. That was the first time I saw Buffy."

"You didn't meet her here?" Faith asked.

"No. The first time she ever saw me was in Sunnydale, but I had seen her before that," Angel replied. "I don't know why I'm telling you all of this, but I guess I just need you to understand. Yes, I'm a vampire. And yes, I did some horrible things to a lot of people, some of whom you know. But there's a lot more to me than that. The same can be said for other demons. Not everything is so black and white."

"Yeah," Faith replied. "I think I'm starting to get that."

"Tea is ready," Giles said, walking into the room carrying a tray. He poured three cups and then sat down across from Faith and Angel. His crossbow was propped up against the side of his chair. "You said you needed our help. Care to elaborate?"

"I've been seeing things," Angel said, his eyes glued to the floor. He could not bring himself to look Giles in the eyes, not after what he had done to Jenny Calendar.

"What kinds of things?" Giles asked, interested despite himself.

"People from the past. People that I've killed. They're like dreams, only I see them when I'm awake. Faith walked in on me in an alley tonight, talking with one of them. That's why we're here," Angel answered.

"And when you walked into the alley, there was no one there?" Giles asked, looking over at Faith.

"No, it was completely empty," Faith replied.

"What do you think it could be?" Angel asked.

"I'm not entirely sure," Giles replied. "But whatever it is, it seems to have singled you out. For the moment, we can assume that it has done so purposefully. There's something you have, something connected to you that it wants."

"So we're assuming that whatever this is, there's an it involved?" Faith asked.

"I would imagine so," Giles answered.

"Great, another thing for me to have to kill," Faith sarcastically replied.

"Perhaps," Giles replied. "Although I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. If spirits are haunting you, than perhaps there are other ways that we can eliminate them."

"Whatever we have to do, let's get it done," Angel spoke up. "I don't know how many more of these visits I can take."

"We'll get right on it. However, I do insist that we involve Buffy and the others. We'll need to do a lot of research, much more than just the three of us can handle," Giles replied.

Angel sighed and sat back, resting his hands in his lap. "Whatever you think is best," he replied resignedly.

…………………..

Angel stood by the fire in his mansion, his back to the apparitions that haunted him. He could hear them talking to him, pleading with him, and yelling at him for the things that he had done to them. But the only voice he heard was that of Jenny Calendar. "Having trouble sleeping, Angel?" Jenny asked, moving over to him.

"You're not real. You're not here," Angel replied.

"I'm always here. I can't leave. You won't let me. You're keeping me trapped here. Caged in this horrible place," Jenny shot back.

"What do you want from me?" Angel asked, exasperated.

Jenny smirked. "I want you to suffer, Angel," she replied. "But most of all, I want you to realize your true potential."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked, looking over at her in surprise.

"You know how you can make all of this stop," Jenny answered.

"No, I don't," Angel shot back.

"It's very simple really. You feel so guilty about everything that you've done. Angel, you're holding yourself back. Just let go. Just be him," Jenny replied.

"Be who?" Angel asked.

"Be Angelus. Be free," Jenny said.

"I can't do that," Angel replied, turning away.

"All you have to do is kill her," Jenny replied.

"Kill who?" Angel asked angrily.

"You know who I'm talking about – the person that causes you the most frustration and pain. The person who you can't possibly live without, but you can never really live with. Kill her and you'll be free. Kill her and you'll never see me again," Jenny answered.

"I may not be able to live with her," Angel replied. "But I can live with you. You want me to suffer? Well, I'll make you suffer. I'll make you linger here for all eternity, never able to move on."

"No, you won't," Jenny replied smugly. "You'll kill her soon enough. You're too weak, Angel. You'll succumb. You always do."