Beep... beep... beep...

John sat up, rubbed his eyes and squinted at the alarm clock. 5:01am He thought he'd set the alarm for 5:30, but then realized it was his pager. Fumbling for the phone, he dialed Abby's cell, almost knocking the lamp on the nightstand over in the process.

"John?" Abby picked up on the first ring, her voice cracking.

"Abby? What's the matter?" Abby had just pulled a twelve-hour at County, five to five, and sounded exhausted.

"She said it was from stress..." Abby said, her voice breaking and finally trailing off.

John gripped the phone a bit tighter. "What? Who said what was from stress?"

"Janet."

"Abby, what are you talking about?" John was now thoroughly confused.

"The baby, John." She dissolved into tears then, crying for herself, her child, her family -- she wasn't sure what at that point.

"God, Abby. Do you want me to come get you?" He decided not to wait for an answer. "Abby, I'll be right there," he said, hanging up the phone and quickly getting dressed.

The January air was bitter cold as John bundled little Stella into the car and drove to County. He found Abby in the lounge, curled up on the couch, staring into space. "Sweetheart..." John sat next to her, with Stella fast asleep in his arms. Lying Stella gently next to Abby, John scooped Abby up and held her. "Why... How could this happen?" she asked into his chest. Looking up at him she saw sadness in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, John..." John rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. "It's not your fault, Abby. Do you hear me? Nothing you did or didn't do made this happen." Abby nodded in response, only to burst into tears again. John sat in a chair in the corner of the lounge, Abby curled up in his arms, drying her tears for hours until she finally fell asleep.

It was now February 14 - Valentine's Day - and it had been almost a month and a half since Abby had been to work. Weaver had given her as much time as she needed, thankfully, and she'd used it to the max. Staying home with Stella had been good for her and John both, who was still busy with the Carter Family Foundation, but managed to pick up a shift at County here and there.

Abby walked briskly through the doors of County, feeling a twinge of pain and longing, remembering what had happened the last time she had been there. She was also nervous about the way her colleagues were going to treat her. She didn't want any sympathy glances or sad smiles or "Oh, Abby, how are you doing?"'s. She just wanted to come back to work and let things return to normal - whatever normal was.

"Hey, Ab!" Susan came up behind her and grinned, a grin that appeared a bit nervous to Abby. "I've got a guy in curtain two... took a header down the stairs, has a head lac that needs attention. Think you can handle it?"

"Think you can handle it?" Abby thought. You've got to be kidding me.

Pushing her thoughts aside, Abby smiled and took the chart from Susan's hand. "Sure."

"Great, thanks," Susan replied. She paused a second, then added, "Umm... I'm not sure how to put this, Ab, but... if there's anything..." Susan let her sentence trail off, hoping Abby would catch on.

Abby nodded. "Thanks, but I'm fine."

"Frank, where's the lost and found box?" Abby asked, rummaging through a mound of miscellaneous items under the admin desk.

"How should I know?" Frank asked, as he mindlessly watched a Channel 5 weather report on TV.

"FRANK!" It was almost the end of her shift and Abby was near the end of her rope. "Get off your ass and help me find the damn box!"

"Sorry," Frank said, switching off the TV. "Here," he said, handing her the box.

"Was that so hard?" Abby asked, as she walked toward the lounge.

Frank nudged Chuny in the side and said, "Maybe we should be of a little more help to Abby, y'know... considering..."

Chuny just stared at him and rolled her eyes. "Speak for yourself."

Abby whirled around and, throwing her hands on the counter, sighed heavily. "Look," she said, raising her voice. "I am fine. If I wasn't, I sure as hell wouldn't be here of all places, would I? So how about everyone minds their own damn business and keeps the petty gossip to a minimum," she paused and looked around - she'd caught everyone's attention with her little speech. "Thank you," she finished, and continued walking toward the lounge.

"Do miscarriages make women bitchier than usual?" Frank asked, in clear earshot of Abby.

Abby turned around and almost slugged him. "Fuck you, Frank. Fuck you."

Abby unlocked the door to their apartment, stepped inside and leaned heavily against the doorframe.

John looked up from the presentation he was working on. "Rough day?" he asked, coming around the table to give her a hug. "Horrible," she said, wrapping her arms around him and sighing. John kissed the top of her forehead. "I'm sorry," he said. "You know, maybe you're pushing it. You should've taken a half shift instead of a full one. I'll call Kerry and switch your shifts for the rest of the week."

"No, I can handle it," she said, more to herself than to Carter.

John decided to take her mind off work. "Well, you're home now, so just leave it all behind you. At least for tonight, okay?"

Abby smiled a small smile. "Okay," she said.

"Why don't you go take a bath while I finish this presentation," he suggested.

"Mmm... a bath sounds like Heaven. But first I want to say hello to my little girl," she said, taking off her coat.

"Stella went to see a kiddie movie with Joanie," John informed her. "She wanted to take her rugrats out to dinner and a movie, and they wanted Stella to come along, so she's sleeping over there tonight."

"Oh," Abby said, disappointment evident in her voice.

"She'll be fine," he said, reading Abby's mind.

"I... I know," she said. "I'm gonna go relax in the tub. See ya in a bit." She disappeared down the hallway as John watched her.

Entering the bathroom, Abby was amazed. Her bath was already drawn, with candles around the tub and soft jazz playing on the stereo. There was a handwritten note on the edge of the tub that read

Abby,
Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you very much. Remember that always.

Love,
John

Abby stood open mouthed in the middle of the bathroom. She'd completely forgotten about Valentine's Day. She quickly undressed and slipped into the tub, smiling to herself all the while.

There was a knock at the door after awhile and John poked his head in. "Hey," he said quietly, grinning at her.

Abby opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Hey you."

John undressed and slipped in beside her. "Come here," he whispered as he took her in his arms and held her close.

Abby smiled up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she said. "For everything."

John didn't say a word, he just lowered his head, found her mouth with his and passionately kissed her.

They stayed that way for hours, at times lost in their own thoughts and at others they were deep in conversation. And as they lay in each others arms, they both knew they would never find anyone more perfect for one another. Ever.