My very first parody of Final Fantasy VIII!!! Let's see what you think of this thing. I don't own Squall, Rinoa or any of the other character for that matter. Final Fantasy VIII is copyright or Square Soft so please don't try to sue me!!! Anyway, Read and Review people! And let's get this thing rollin'!!!
Really techno music starts to play. You see the waves of the beach and then... you... fly over the beach at top speed... You accidentally bump your head and tumble into a desert. Words start to magically appear on the screen O_o Aww... let's just cut the crap!
Shows Seifer and Squall fighting with Gunblades... trying to chop off each other's heads in a really, uh, phony fashion.
Squall notices the music is playing and Seifer is on the opposite side of him and racing at mega-super-ultra-whatever speed towards him.
"O_o Eh? What the hell?" Squall picked up his extra heavy Gunblade made out of only cardboard and tin foil.
"Yeah!" Seifer protested, still running towards Squall very fast, "Where's that funky techno music coming from???"
"Sorry!" yelled the cameraman and switches music to really extra creepy music called Liberi Fatally... Fatali... or... whatever...
"Hiyaaaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!" Seifer yelled as he aimed his Gunblade at Squall. But he was running soooo fast, he didn't have time to do anything before he rammed right into Squall.
"Owww..."
"Hmph! Serves you right for running at me!" Squall said, getting up and dusting himself. Then he takes aim with his Gunblade and.... runs in the opposite direction...
"Hey! You can't get away from me!!!" Seifer yelled, "What are you? A chicken??!!" he runs after Squall again.
"Hey!" Squall screamed behind his shoulder at Seifer, "I'm no chicken! That name's for Zell!!!"
"Whatever!" Seifer yelled back.
"That's MY line!!!" Squall said angrily and threw a banana behind him making Seifer trip and fall on his face. Squall laughed evilly and turned around, looking at Seifer, still on his face. "Now, you DIE!!!!!!!!!!" Squall flies at Seifer with Gunblade pointing downwards, ready to skewer the guy.
Seifer rolls to his side as the Gunblade was heard jabbing into the ground. He jumps to his feet and looks at Squall.
"Oh damn." Squall pulls his Gunblade out of the ground showing a neat bend of the cardboard with the tin foil ripped at the tip. "I think it's broken..."
Meanwhile, Seifer was readying a Fire spell while Squall was crying over his broken Gunblade. "Eat my Fire spell!!!" Seifer screamed as he shot fire out of his hand O_o and roasted Squall.
Squall was hit by the heat and fell down, his Gunblade falling on top of him. "Owww..." Squall tried to get up but Seifer didn't let him and threw a dagger from up his sleeve at Squall. The dagger flew at Squall's face and put a neat cut on him with really fake blood pouring out. Some of the blood a.k.a tomato ketchup, dropped to the groud making a stain.
"Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! My eyes! I see red!!! I see RED!!! I see.... AHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Squall screamed as he saw Seifer with his Gunblade on top of him and ready to strike again.
Squall got up quickly even though he was blinded by blood and did a cool but unsuccessful back-flip, smashing into Seifer because he couldn't see him.
Seifer fell to the floor. "Ooof..." And skidded to a stop, and when he got up, you can see a new scar on his face.
"Ooooohh........ Now we're twins!" Squall said, grinning his ass off and patting Seifer on the back.
"Eh... whatever..." Seifer said, yawning.
"Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S MY LINE!!!!!!!!!" Squall bellowed, "I DON'T WANNA' BE YOUR TWIN NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!" Squall started to cry like a baby. "You're mean!!!"
"Oh, shut the hell up!" Seifer said, ramming Squall in the head and pushing him over, causing him to lose consciousness.
Suddenly, the screen goes all white and blinding.
Then, the scene changes to a room... with a bed... with a bandaged Squall-boy on it... with a fat female doctor standing over him...
Suddenly!!! The curtains behind them broke off as a strong gust of wind tore it off and the curtains flew away... oh so far away... away from the pain of death and the cycle of life where it has been all day looking at the 17 and below children on their death beds or at least, while they're sick and dying... moaning for help and the release of thier agony. "Good bye, cruel world! I will be free now... floating away to heaven... Thank you wind!!! Thank you!!!" The curtain whispered it's good bye as it...... wait a minute!!! Why the hell am I talking about curtains???
Squall and Dr KanOpener sweatdropped as the curtain got rolled over by a passing truck...
Dr KanOpener looked back at Squall who quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be dead... er... asleep...
Dr KanOpener rolled her eyes and jumped onto the bed and started to kick Squall. "Wake up damn you!!!" She didn't manage to kick very much before she got tired.
"Okay okay!!! I'm up!" Squall complained and kicked the doctor off his bed with more strength than necessary.
Doctor KanOpener went flying through the window with a VERY high pitch scream.
"AHHHHH!!!!!!"
'CRASH!!!'
"Ooooff..."
Squall looked mildly concerned. "Are ye alright there doctor?" he asked, checking his nails and polishing them.
Dr KanOpener got up and looked in through the window with a VERY pissed off look. Then, she looks at her FFVIII script and glares at Squall again giving him the 'That-was-not-in-the-script' look.
"Okay okay, let's continue the story then," Squall yawned, as though reading her mind. "And your name's Dr Kadowaki, not KanOpener..."
Doctor KanOpener a.k.a Dr Kadowaki, from where she was at the window, started her line. "Hellllllooooooooo!!! I see that you're awaaaaaake!!!!! Well, considering that you have been beaten hands down by Siefer, how do you feel???" he asked, grinding her teeth in agitation.
Squall's anger flared. "I was NOT beaten by that grey trench-coat wearing baboon brained moron!!!" he howled.
"Oh yeah?" The Doctor smirked, "Then why are you in the infirmary?"
"Err... I was kidnapped by... by... YOU!!!!!!!!" Squall pointed at the doc finally realising that she was in front of him, "You're holding me for ransom!!! You!! You!!! YOU WANT ME DEAD!!!! You're that serial killer!!! You're Doctor Maniac!!! AHHHH!!! Save me Rinoa!!! SAVE ME!!!"
Dr KanOpener sweatdropped. "Err... maybe you should stay in bed for a little while longer..." she said, "And you're not supposed to know Rinoa yet..."
"Nuuuuuuuuuu!!!! Rinoa!!! This mad doctor wants me dead! She wants me to stay 'forever' in this prison!! She wants ransom from my daddy Laguna and mommy Raine!!!" Squall wailed.
"O_o SQUALL!!! Calm down!!! Is this madness of yours triggering some remembrance of your past life or something??" Dr KanOpener said, annoyed. "And STOP jumping up and down on your bed!!! I'm NOT trying to kill you or hold you prisoner for ransom or whatever...!"
Something snapped like a twig in Squall's head and he came to his senses...
"Eh...! Did you just say "whatever"? COZ IT'S MY LINE!!!!!" he screamed... then scratched his head. "Hey doc... do you remember what I was screaming about just now?"
The freaked out doctor slapped her hand to her forehead and sighed. "Let me just call your instructor first so that she can take this burden of you off my hands... at least for a little while... Let's see.... that's right! Your instructor is Pikach-, I mean Quistis!!! Right??? Okay, I'll go call her now..."
"Okies ^_^" Squall smiled and sat back down on his bed as he listened to what the doctor had to say to Quistis...
"......... yes, instructor... Yes, it's a severe mental illness......... What?!?! You don't want him as your student because of THAT??? ....... oh, you're right.... he can't save the world from the evil Sorceress because of his crazy illness.......... yeah..... uh- huh... okay, I'll see to that......." the doctor put down the phone and sighed...
"Squall?" the Doctor of Can openers said turning to look at the boy, "Eh? Squall? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!?!?!" she screeched like an eagle.
Squall was trying to eat his pillow...
Doctor KanOpener ripped the pillow from out of his mouth and whipped out a can of 'Explosive Germ Killer!!!" and practically sprayed the whole can onto the pillow...
After 10 minutes...
"Ooooooohhh..." Squall said as both of them stared at the sparkly clean but incredibly wet pillow...
"Now..." Doctor KanOpener said as she threw the pillow at one corner, which ended up in it going into the dustbin, "Your 'Instructor' says she'll be picking you up at midnight today for some extra lessons at the Fire Caravan and some ass whoppin'... I mean, some MORE extra lessons... meanwhile, you have to rest..."
"That's okay Doctor." Came a cool voice from behind them. Quistis was there in full uniform and tapping her foot. "I'll take Squall to his class now."
"Oh, okay, that's good..." The doctor said, relief washing over her, "He's becoming a real pain in the ass..."
"Yeah... You can say that again..." Quistis said, her eyebrows raised as Squall hopped out of bed and ran up to her and gave her a big bear hug.
"Oh Quisty!!! I missed you!!" Squall cried.
"GET OFF ME!!!" Quistis screamed and gave Squall a big thwack on the head.
*THWACK!!!*
"Owww..." Squall said and slipped into unconsciousness again...
Okay, this was crappy and short... anyway, R&R and we'll see what the hell happens to Squall in the end...