"The red dragon peers down at you with his beady, no wait, they were HUMONGOUS eyes! And, they shoot fireballs at a caster level of seven!" Hansel, the DM, picked up the dice and began rolling them in his hand.

"Hey, Dungeon Master, are there any vines or shrubberies growing near here?" Asked Dekcim.

"No, but there are lots of weeds."

"Then I want to use --" "I cast hide from animals!" interrupted Gretel.

"Why? There are no animals around." "Sure there is! Look at that big fire-breathing lizard!"

"Hey, I want to use--" "No a dragon is not an animal, it is a mystical creature."

A loud crash is heard from the kitchen. "What the hell! Where are all of your Doritos Hansel!" cried Grisham.

"On the top shelf." "I'm casting hide from animals." "But there aren't any animals! What are you hiding from?" "Hey guys, I want to use my--" "I'm going to hide from... The sorcerers' familiar! Hahahaha!"

A scream from the kitchen, "You can't do that, my toad isn't an animal! It's a familiar and it is also an amphibian."

"Just because it's an amphibian doesn't mean I can't use it on him." "I'll allow it." said Hansel. "I really want to use--" "What! You are taking her side now Hansel?" "No I'm not taking her side, it's just that even though your familiar is magical, it's still an animal."

"Well that's just a bunch of bullshit! I'm going to attack her with my color spray." "Hey, that's metagaming. She hasn't even performed her action yet."

"I want to--" "I'm casting the spell." said Grisham. "Fine, but Gretel gets to take her action first because you decided to do this after hearing her."

"Tingle tingle, koola limpa!" exclaimed Gretel. "Hey, you can't use another games' magic words. It's not fair." "I can do what I want it's my character. I have my animal companion, Sparky the wolf, bite Grisham's leg."

"Well, you can't do that just yet, wait till your next action." "Hey DM I--"

"Okay so my action right!" once again, Drekcim was interrupted. "Right."

"Yes! I cast color spray!" "Hold on, let me turn on the dramatic battle music..." Hansel stood up and went to the CD player and skipped to track 14.

Drekcim, tired of waiting stood up and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. "Hey Drekcim, if you leave now you won't get an action." "But I've been--" "Okay, I cast my spell!"

"Gretel, make a will save to avoid being stunned."

"It's good to be a ranger. Wis is one of my higher stats!" Gretel let her favorite d20 roll... "Oh no! I rolled a six! Okay my total is eleven. Is that good enough?"

"NO! HAHAHAHA!" exclaimed Grisham. "Okay that's it." said Drekcim, "I rip open my my scroll of weed control and instead of killing the stupid dragon I'm using it on Grisham and Gretel."

"Are you sure?" Hansel questioned. "Very. I want them both to die." "Alright, but change your alignment to evil. Grisham, make a reflex save and Gretel you don't get a saving throw since you are stunned."

"Oh, no! But that means I get hit by the magic!" cried Gretel."Yes, yes it does"

Grisham rolled his d20. "I got a twelve and my magical boots of fleet footedness give me a plus two bonus so I have a fourteen in all."

"Okay, you dodge it's main effect. Drekcim roll your damage." "Okay, 8d8's right?" Drekcim rolls his dice.

"Yeah baby! I got 29 damage!"

"Alright then. Sorry Gretel, but your character is now unconcious and dying. Grisham, you take half the damage because you made the save."

"Aw man, that still knocks me down." "Well I guess I'll go face the dragon then.Thanks for all the help guys."

-Fin