School Sucks

by Shadow Jaganshi

Due to a bet, Shadow and Hiei are back in school. Doom ensues. But that's not the only focus of this fic. Relationships flourish. We'll leave it there.

9. And So Went The Day

(Saturday, 3-5-05)

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS!

I was expecting people not to like it, so when I got a few reviews telling me it was cheesy and that I suck at writing romance, I wasn't surprised, but I got SO many more good ones! I feel so loved! I got 25 reviews in just about as many hours... I got 34 reviews in two days! I think that's the most reviews I've gotten on a single chapter yet... Then again I haven't been keeping track.Anyways, thank you all so much again.
Oh, I got requests for a Kurama/Eclipse romance scene... Since Eclipse is my best friend's character, I would say I have no jurisdiction in that, but she said she doesn't care if I put Eclipse with Kurama, so guess what? Yeah. Anyways, so their relationship will hopefully flourish in this fic, but I don't think there will be any more confessions of love in this story. Don't worry, I've got three more stories already planned out in my head (actually, I just have the basic situation, which could be expressed in one sentence)... It'll probably take me the rest of 2005 to get all three written and posted and all that...

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CHAPTER NINE
And So Went The Day

In school that day, Shadow acted no different than normally. Kurama had the 'I'm arguing with Youko' look on his face most of the day. Eclipse sulked and glared at Shadow. How dare she make her worry like that?

And so went the day. Shadow actually managed to behave through all her classes (even Science, in which Tayama singled her out ceaselessly and was constantly shown up), and she actually managed to stay in literature, the fun class in which they were asked to describe the happiest moment of their life. Shadow blinked, chewing on the end of her pencil and ignoring Kurama, whose eyes were locked on her. Then she wrote about when she got her motorcycle. Kurama snorted. He spent the rest of that class being bombarded with eraser bits from Shadow.

Lunch came around and Shadow nearly ran flat over Hiei in her haste to reach the gym before he left. The only thing that saved him was his superior speed.

"Are you trying to kill me!" he asked.

"Not at all," Shadow said. "Just trying to reach you before you left the gym."

"Why?"

Shadow grinned. "Can you not guess?"

"HEY!" Eclipse shouted, darting over to them. Both sighed, annoyed. "WHAT'REYOUDOING?"

"Talking," Hiei replied. "Why?"

"Oh. You aren't gonna go in for another session of Locker Room Counseling, are you?"

"What if we are?"

"I wanna come. I've got to watch you two. I've made some deductions about some things, and I've decided that you're both... secretly plotting to kidnap Kurama."

"Why the hell would I want to kidnap Kurama?" Hiei snapped.

"To steal his brain! Why else?"

"I don't want his brain, he's got a fox in his brain."

"A fox who currently loathes the both of us," Shadow added.

"Because you're plotting to kidnap him and steal his brain! Why wouldn't he hate you!"

"Are you on drugs, Eclipse?" Hiei asked.

"Cuz I want some," Shadow added.

"Drugs? I would never do drugs! You're the one who bribed Youko into giving you Freaky Makai Plants!"

Shadow blinked, looking insulted. "I did no such thing!"

"Well you said you were high on Freaky Makai Plants!"

"I lied!"

"I bet you do some nasty thing to get those!"

Shadow hit Eclipse in the side of the head. "I would never! Not with Youko. Ew!"

"What about Hiei? Would you do naughty things with him?"

Shadow and Hiei exchanged glances. "Erm... Perhaps."

"PERHAPS! EW!" Eclipse let out a scream and ran away.

"Perhaps?" Hiei repeated, looking at Shadow. She shrugged.

"What? You want me to?"

"Em..." Hiei's eye twitched. "Not... now."

"Good, cuz I'm not gonna do that stuff now. As in this place or as in this time."

"I don't expect you to, Shadow."

"Good." She sighed. "Hey, I have detention with you tonight!"

Hiei snorted. "Yeah. Detention. Wait... There's a soccer game."

"...So?"

"You're excused from your detention. I have to coach soccer. You know they haven't lost a single game since they saw me pummel Eclipse."

"That's pretty cool, Hiei. See, you know how to handle the stupid ningens after all! Make them fear you! Kick their asses! Whip 'em into shape! You're gonna be the best soccer coach ever! Aren't you glad I gave that old dude a heart attack?"

"Not really. I'm actually not all that glad you dragged me into this entire ordeal, but I guess I'll have to deal with it, won't I?"

"Yes. You will."

"Unless I get fired."

"Don't get fired."

"At the rate I'm going, I piss off Yamashita on a regular basis. But he can't fire me because I'm the most qualified person who applied for the job. There is no one to take over after me."

"You're just special like that."

Hiei leaned against the wall. "Of course. So where is Kurama?"

"Who knows. He probably had to drag himself across the parking lot and beat himself up to make Youko leave him alone. He's been arguing with the fox all day and casting me funny looks."

The fire demon snorted. "Typical. Youko's probably going to want a word with me."

"A word as in 'he'll probably want to fight you.' I personally don't see why he was such a bitch this morning. I mean, I never exactly showed any great attraction towards him, why should he be so jealous just because I'm not available anymore?"

"He's a kitsune. A kitsune who hasn't had sex in quite some time, and now the girl he was trying to woo"

"Rather directly. More like outright offering."

"Yes, but anyway, you are the one he'd set his eyes on, and if it weren't for me and his restrictions, he'd probably already have had his way with you."

Shadow snorted. "Stupid fox."

And of course, at that precise moment, Yamashita just had to round the corner and see them.

"Jaganshi! I want a word with you! Come with me!"

Both fire demons blinked. Yamashita headed towards the office without a backwards glance.

"Who was he talking to?" Shadow asked.

"Who knows. Let's both go and see if it pisses him off."

When they arrived in the main office, Yamashita did not seemed pissed at either of them, but rather gestured for them to enter his office. Shadow flashed a grin at the secretary before Yamashita practically tossed her into his office and shut the door. He went around to sit at his desk.

"So I'm assuming you intended for both of us to follow?" Hiei said finally.

"Yes. I want to talk to you about your behavior."

"Me? Or her? Or both of us?"

"BOTH!" Yamashita snapped. He continued angrily. "You are both setting horrible examples for the rest of the student body! You, little girl, do not wear the uniform, you are disrespectful to your teachers, you skip classes, fight with fellow students, and your grades are terrible!"

Shadow had looked pleasant up until the last comment. "No! I have grades pretty damn close to Minamino's, I'll have you know! Check your stupid records!" she said indignantly. Yamashita frowned and clicked on a few things on his computer. A startled look appeared on his face.

"How is that possible! You're a terrible student!"

Shadow smirked. "Just because I'm a smart-ass doesn't mean I don't know anything."

Yamashita glared. "Fine. Then you have good grades. That doesn't change your other records. I'm recommending you for... counseling."

The girl's jaw dropped. "Man, either the deities hate me, Yusuke is bribing you, or you're an asshole."

"I favor the last one," Hiei muttered.

"Shut up, Jaganshi! As for you, I've heard some things about you! You're teaching the students martial arts? You favor Minamino, Shinomori, and Jaganshi. You cuss and badmouth me in front of the students! You allowed a girl in the boy's locker room, you allow Jaganshi to skip classes and come to the gym, you let her slip by without changing into her gym uniform, you"

"Yes, I get the idea, I'm a terrible person too," Hiei said.

"And you're a disrespectful smart-ass too!" Yamashita snapped. "The only reason I haven't fired you yet is because there is no one else for the job, but if you don't straighten up your act, I'm going to have to do something about it!"

Hiei nodded. "Such as? You can't send me to counseling."

"Yes I can. I'm your superior" Hiei shuddered at that. "and if I suspect it will help you, I can require you attend counseling."

"So who's my counselor and when am I going?" Shadow asked, trying to distract him.

"You'll meet him after school."

"But... I have detention."

"Jaganshi has to coach. You cannot be unsupervised. Your new counselor will supervise you."

Shadow had an odd feeling of great doom, one that gave her a strong urge to slam herself into a wall screaming obsenities, from the way Yamashita spoke those words. But she simply said, "Jolly good!" in her normal cheerful voice. The principal smirked.

"Yes. Now, I expect a good report for the rest of the day."

"You should've had a good report for the previous part of the day as well," Shadow said. "I was actually in all my classes. That's a great acomplishment."

"I've also heard some stories about the interactions between the two of you," Yamashita said. "From what I've heard, they are quite, hm, intimate."

"Intimate? Ha!" Hiei said. Shadow snorted.

"I don't do intimate," she said. "This guy's almost twice my age, anyways! He could almost be my father!"

"That doesn't really matter," Yamashita said. "And after the way I found you two yesterday, I decided for myself. You know this school does not stand for displays of affection. Being a teacher, you should enforce those rules, not break them."

"I'm not going to go off kissing some teenage girl anyway! Teacher or not, public or not!" Hiei snapped. Yamashita glared.

"Both of you are dismissed."

Shadow snorted and spun on her heel. "I look forward to meeting my new counselor. I'm sure we'll have a blast all alone in the gym."

"I'm sure you will," Yamashita said coldly.

"What an ass," Hiei muttered as they left. "And he wonders why people are disrespectful to him..."

"No kidding."

And so, along came the end of the day. Hiei and Eclipse went straight from the gym to the soccer feild outside when the bell rang, and everyone else left. Except Shadow. She hung around leaning against the wall until a loud, angry voice startled her out of her reverie.

"WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN A DETENTION?"

She blinked and turned around to come face-to-stomach with a angry giant man.

"Hello," she said kindly. "Are you my counselor?" She realized why she'd had the feeling of impending doom earlier.

The man laughed loudly and it echoed around the gym. "Is that what Utemaro told you?"

Shadow blinked, mouthing 'Utemaro' several times thoughtfully. Then she hit her fist into her palm. "You mean Yamashita? Yeah, he said I'd be supervised by my new counselor in detention today. I was waiting for you."

"Well, little girl, he told me you're to be washing the gym today. Where are your supplies?"

"Beats me."

"I WILL beat you! Go get them!"

Shadow blinked. "Now look here, mister! I might be about three feet shorter than you and not be a muscle-bound gangsta cronie, but I don't react well to threats! I dare you, go ahead and try to beat me! I'm trained in martial arts! I could whip your"

"Ahh, I see you've met your new charge, Ryobe-san."

Shadow spun at Yamashita's smug voice.

"Yes, I've met her all right," Ryobe replied. "She's a little bitch."

"My thoughts exactly," Yamashita replied.

"I agree," Shadow added, nodding. "I'm a little bitch. I've come to face my problems. That's the first step to solving them, you know. Can I go home now?"

Ryobe grabbed her shirt and picked her up to his eye level. "You're going to stay here and clean every inch of this gymnasium, like your sentencing says."

"I'M BEING MANHANDLED!" Shadow screamed. "ONLY I'M A WOMAN!"

"You're a little girl," Ryobe said.

"LET GO OF ME OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR KIDNEYS!"

"Go on. I'd like to see you try."

"I'LL PULL OUT YOUR LUNGS! THROUGH YOUR NOSE! AND... AND I'LL REPLACE THEM WITH BAGS OF ICE!"

Ryobe laughed, dropping her to the floor. "Get your cleaning supplies and get to work. You're staying until this gym is cleaned to my approval."

Shadow adjusted her shirt indignantly and stomped off. Yamashita smirked. She returned two seconds later with a bucket of soapy water and a mop.

"Get to work," Ryobe growled.

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING, YOU BRAINLESS BAG OF"

"Finish that sentence and I'll hit you."

"I'd like to see you try, you big, ugly, muscle-bound gangsta cronie!" She started mopping the floor, and naturally started singing as well.

"NO SINGING!"

Shadow started rapping.

"I SAID NO SINGING!"

"RAP IS NOT SUNG, IT'S SPOKEN, YOU STUPID MAN! YOUR BRAIN SURE ISN'T PROPORTIONAL TO YOUR BODY! Ye'd think with a body several times larger than normal humans, your brain might follow the same principle, but apparently not."

Yamashita glared. "Ryobe Royama, I'll have you know, is a boot camp seargant. You are to obey him. He has permission to do whatever is necessary to get your obedience. Understand?"

Shadow continued mopping in silence.

"Understand?"

She still didn't reply.

"HEY!"

"I'M DOING WHAT THE GANGSTA CRONIE TOLD ME TO! SHUT UP AND LET ME CONCENTRATE ON THE ART OF MOPPING!" she shouted.

Yamashita fumed. Ryobe glared. Shadow mopped away like it took intense concentration to do so.

"You missed a spot," Ryobe said coldly. Shadow looked to where he was pointing.

"I did not, you dolt! I mopped there already! The water dried up. Water tends to DO that, you know, when it's spread thinly on a flat surface."

"Mop it again."

Shadow splatted the wet mop down and swished it around a couple times, making sure to splash droplets of water out at her tormentors. Ryobe glared as one hit him in the face. He walked over to her and pointed at it.

"Wipe it off."

"What?"

"The water."

"I don't see any water."

"YOU SPLASHED WATER ON ME, I WANT YOU TO WIPE IT OFF."

Shadow slapped him, wiping the water off in the process. "There. All gone, gangsta cronie."

Ryobe pulled back his fist and punched at her. I say at her because he missed. She dodged and hit him several times with her mop, then calmly went back to cleaning when he'd hit the floor. Fuming, he got up and left. He returned a short time later with a length of rope and a brillo pad (y'know, the green scrubby things you'd typically find in a kitchen, on the sink). He tossed one end of the rope up over the pipes and caught it when it came back down to his level. Then he made a harnass out of it and stuffed Shadow in the harnass.

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING!" she yelped. Ryobe stuffed the green scrubby pad into her hand and stuck the bucket of water in her other hand, grabbed the other side of the rope, and lifted her until she was at the ceiling.

"START CLEANING."

Shadow shrieked. "I'M NOT CLEANING THE ENTIRE CEILING WITH THIS LITTLE SIX-SQUARE-INCHES PIECE OF FLIMSY GREEN STUFF! I'M GONNA CALL MY LAWYER ON YOU!"

"START CLEANING."

Shadow took a deep breath. "MOMMY! GANGSTA CRONIE'S BEIN' MEAN TO ME!"

Said 'gangsta cronie' winced and nearly dropped Shadow to put his hands over his ears. The sound reverberated through the gymnasium, and Yamashita winced as well, covering his ears.

"HIEI! I NEED HELP, PLEASE!"

Outside, on the soccer feild, Hiei was having a scrimmage with the soccer team, and he hesitated a second as Shadow's message reached him. The ball slammed him in the side of the head and he fell over, swearing loudly.

"What the hell is your problem!"

"The gangsta cronie is hanging me from the ceiling!"

"What?"

"My counselor is some kind of giant, hairy, ugly, brainless boot camp muscle-bound gangsta cronie! He wants me to clean the ceiling and he's got me hanging up in a rope harnass! It's child abuse, I tell you! Child abuse!"

Hiei sighed and got up, walking straight off the feild towards the gym doors without saying a thing to the team. Eclipse darted over to him.

"What's up?"

"I don't know, Shadow's ranting about some hairy giant who wants to hang her up and rape her or something..."

"Jesus lordy!" Eclipse yelped. "On the double!" She bolted for the doors. Hiei sighed and jogged after her.

Not know quite what else to do, the entire soccer team followed. Hiei, of course, passed up Eclipse and was the first one to burst into the gym. Shadow let out a shriek.

"My angel, my hero!" she praised. "Make him let me down, Hiei!"

"HOLY GOSH!" Eclipse screamed, arriving at the door. The rest of her team was right behind her and let out similar exclaimations. Only, slightly more laced with obsenities.

Hiei strode right over to Yamashita. "You bastard," he snapped. "You're just standing there letting the stupid ugly son of a bitch do that do her?"

"As I would suspect, you come to her defense first, Jaganshi. You're so predictable. As a matter of fact, I TOLD him he had"

"LET HER DOWN, LET HER DOWN, LET HER DOWN!" Eclipse started wailing, pulling on Ryobe's arm like a little child. Shadow swayed dangerously from side to side, shrieking like a pansy little girl. Hiei glared, then narrowed his eyes as Ryobe drew back his fist.

"Eclipse, you IDIOT!" he shouted, darting over and flinging her out of the way, taking a fist to the stomach in her place. She, meanwhile, went rolling across the gym. Once she stopped, she sat up, looking childishly indignant and pouting. Hiei, meanwhile, stood a few feet from Ryobe.

"Put her down," he said. "She's afraid of heights. You can't force her to do that."

"I'm afraid of heights since when!"

"Whatever works, Shadow. Shut up, I'm trying to get you down."

"Oh yeah? Well there's no better way to overcome your fears than to face them," Ryobe said. Hiei snorted.

"Yeah, and what fortune cookie are you quoting that from?"

"What!"

"I mean, that's got to have some wisdom behind it. A person like you knows nothing about facing fears. So you're just quoting it from somewhere. Now put her down."

"You gonna fight me for her?"

"If need be, but you'll regret starting it."

"I doubt it." He held the rope with one hand. "Come on, little pussy. Give me your best shot."

"I won't give you my best shot. You're not worthy of that. You'll get what you deserve." Hiei launched himself at Ryobe, punched him in the face, snarling, "That's for calling me a pussy." He kicked him in the stomach; "That's for hitting me." Then he punched him with his other fist, sending him sailing across the gym. "And that's generally just for being an asshole."

Shadow came sailing downwards and Hiei caught her. Most of the soccer team cheered. With a grin as Hiei put her down (carefully not holding her too long, thus avoiding suspicion), Shadow tore off the rope harnass, went over to Ryobe, and poured her bucket of soapy water over his head. Then she kicked him in the ribs.

"That's for being born!"

Yamashita glared, stomping over to them. "Hiei, I hate to do this to you, but I believe I must." He snapped handcuffs on the fire demon.

"What the fuck is this!" Hiei yelled.

"Just wait until the cops come."

"COPS?" Hiei and the two halfbreed girls cried in unison.

"Yes. Assault with the intent to kill is quite a heavy sentence, from what I hear."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "You know, Yamashita, you're really, really stupid."

"How do you figure?"

"There's fifteen witnesses here who can tell you that I had no intentions of killing the ugly bastard. I won't get any more than a night in prison. Besides, I have acquaintences everywhere in this city. You have no idea."

Yamashita smirked, walking over to the soccer team. "What did you girls see?"

"Um..."

"You'll tell the police that Hiei's attack was unprovoked," the man said. He walked over and relocated the rope harnass to the equipment storage room, locked the door, and returned to Hiei just as the police showed up, rushing into the gym with their guns drawn.

"What happened here?" one asked.

"Oh, thank God you showed up! This man almost killed my colleague!" Yamashita said, fakely terrified. "We managed to get him under control, but I'm afraid he'll try it again! Please, take him away! He's a terrible, terrible man!"

Hiei groaned. "For the love of GOD, man!"

Shadow was gagging. "Melodramatic," she hissed. "Bad actor!"

"Come with us," one of the officers said. "You're under arrest." Shadow yelped.

"You can't arrest him! Did you never think to question the witnesses!"

"We'll do that after we have this dangerous man securely in a cell." And Hiei was dragged off and shoved in the back of a cop car. Shadow bristled and spun on Yamashita.

"YOU DUMB, STUPID, UNFAIR, UGLY, MEAN SON OF A BITCH!" She kicked him in the shin and took off through the door to the parking lot behind the school. Seconds later, a motorcycle engine revved and zoomed off. Eclipse stood there, arms crossed and a foul look on her face.

"Hey!" one of the cops cried. "Where is she going? Shouldn't we question her, too?"

"Forget it," Eclipse said. "She's going after Hiei since you gullible idiots took him to prison with no evidence. I'M running this freak show now!" She jabbed herself in the chest, standing up straight and important. "I saw everything, officers. You need not question the others, since they're frightened by Yamashita's threats and will tell you his lies. I cannot be persuaded! My honesty never wavers! I do not fear anyone! Bring on the guns and the arrows, they can't stop me!"

She looked oddly like Shadow now, hands on her hips and her nose in the air, looking like a self-important superhero come to save the day. All she needed was a spotlight, a cape, and the appropriate breeze to move it.

"Um... Yes, well it really depends more on if the victim wants to press charges," one officer said, staring at her.

"He probably won't remember what happened," Eclipse murmured.

Meanwhile, Shadow was right behind a police car on a motorcycle, not wearing a helmet, wearing inadequiate covering, and could probably be arrested for indecent exposure in her leather (which, having ridden the motorcycle to school, she'd been wearing under her clothes all day).

The police pulled into the parking lot in front of the prison where Hiei had been employed the previous year. The driver got out and took Hiei out of the car, the passenger got out and went to Shadow. He swallowed hard before speaking.

"Erm, ma'am, if you would come with me... I'll write you a ticket inside..."

"Kiss my ass!" she snapped. She pushed past the nervous young man and followed Hiei and his 'escort' inside. They were just vanishing through the door to the prison behind the police station part of the building. A man blocked her way as she headed for the door.

"You can't go back there without permission, miss," he said. He was a big fellow, muscular and broad, with a nice smile on his face. "Can I help you with something?"

"Did you see that man your pal just took back there? The short guy with the weird hair?"

"Yes... He looks familiar."

"He should. But anyways, I was staying after school for detention and my principal hates me, okay? So he hired this boot camp guy to supervise me while I cleaned the gymnasium. Well I pissed off Mr. Boot Camp Gangsta Cronie, and he hung me from the rafters and told me to clean the ceiling with a Brillo pad."

The large cop raised an eyebrow.

"Y'know, a Brillo pad...? The green scrubby thing you"

"Yes, I know what that is, I'm just a bit puzzled..."

"Well ask questions when I'm done. So I was hanging from the ceiling, my life in the hands of this giant gangsta cronie, shrieking at the top of my lungs, and in comes Hiei and the entire girls' soccer team. My friend tried to get Mr. Gangsta Cronie to let me go, and he was gonna hit her, so Hiei threw himself in front of the punch, then got up and hit Gangsta Cronie about three times, sending him flying, and he caught me as I fell, and apparently sometime in there the principal called the cops and told them some bogus crap about Hiei wanting to KILL Mister Gangsta Cronie and he DIDN'T, he was just SAVING MY ASS! So let me back there to TALK TO HIM!"

The big man smiled a bit. "That story sounds a bit farfetched."

Shadow narrowed her eyes. "Are you calling me a liar? I don't hold well to insults."

"Hey, keep that girl there!"

In came the nervous young man who'd tried to write Shadow a ticket. The other man looked up, Shadow dodged past him and darted through the door. A hand caught her collar before she could go more than two steps, and she was dragged back in by the big cop with the kind smile. He wasn't smiling anymore.

"Didn't I say you couldn't go back there without permission?"

"Yes, you probably did, but I don't want permission, I want to see my Hiei." She blinked. "Which one of you is in charge of this outfit?"

"Um..."

"You know. The whole... 'TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!' thing. Who's in charge?"

The entire room silenced, and with a shaky hand, one man pointed to a closed office door with closed blinds and a most unhappy vibe.

"Oooh, creepy mean guy, is it? Can I talk to him?"

"I wouldn't suggest it, sister," one guy said. "He'll tear you limb from limb and chew on your bones."

Shadow snorted. "I've heard that threat before. I laughed in the threatener's face." And before anyone could stop her, she was across the room and knocking on the police captain's door. They all gasped as the man's voice barked out at her.

"WHAT!"

"Could you spare me a moment, please, sir? I'd like a word with you. My name is Shadow."

The door opened. Nobody could see the man's face except Shadow, and she smiled at him sweetly.

"Who let this little child in here?"

Nobody was eager to answer, but it didn't matter.

"I'M NOT A LITTLE CHILD! I'M SIXTEEN, WITH A FULLY DEVELOPED BODY AND MIND! AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU! NOW EITHER YOU LET ME IN YOUR DARK CREEPY OFFICE OF DOOM ON YOUR OWN FREE WILL, OR I GO IN THERE MYSELF!"

The man smirked and stood aside. "Do come in, then. I'd hate to keep you waiting."

The rest of the officers stared as Shadow walked right into the man's office and he shut the door. He went to his desk and sat down.

"How can I help you, Shadow-chan?"

Shadow frowned at the cursed suffix, but didn't verbally object to it. Instead, she just said, "A friend of mine was brought in just now and I want him released."

The captain laughed. "I'm afraid I can't do that. It's not that simple. What was he brought in for?"

"Assault. But he was just defending me."

"Well, we really can't do anything unless he killed his victim. Did he?"

"Hardly! He only hit him three times and the pansy sidekick called the cops on him!"

"Well, is the victim going to press charges?"

"I don't know," Shadow admitted. "He's unconscious."

The man chuckled. It wasn't really an amused sound... Shadow suppressed a shiver. "Really?" he said. "What did your friend hit him with?"

"His fists."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"I'd like to speak to this friend of yours."

"He's in your prison."

He chuckled again. "Yes, he is, isn't he?" A smirk curved his lips. "You'd like to get him out?"

"You already told me I can't."

"He'll need to stay at least until we know whether his victim wants to press charges. Come along, I'd like to speak to him."

Shadow sighed as the odd, authorative man led her out of the office. He wasn't all that bad, but the rest of the police acted like he was God. Or Satan. Some of them seemed just short of kneeling and kissing his shoes. Perhaps her presence was the only thing keeping them from it.

He walked into the prison and waited for Shadow.

"Where is he?"

Shadow shrugged. Then she spotted him, leaning against the bars with his back to the isle.

"There," she said, and hurried over to him. He spun when she called his name, then she stopped dead in front of the cell and snorted back laughter. Hiei glared.

"I see nothing funny."

Shadow's eyes were on his cell mate, and her hand was over her mouth. "I don't either... Except... Karasu?"

"Hello, Shadow," the other demon said, a pleasant smile (well, as pleasant as a freak like him can manage) on his face. The police captain came up behind Shadow and the smile vanished from Karasu's face, being replaced with a frown. Hiei's look of bitterness was replaced with one of more... bitter curiousity (a bit better than straight-out bitterness, but still not good).

"Who's he?" he asked.

"The police captain," Karasu answered sourly.

"Was I asking you!" Hiei snapped.

"No, but I knew the answer, so I told you."

"Don't speak unless I ask you to, Goldylocks."

Shadow snorted again, but managed to suppress it before Hiei's glare could be turned on her. Instead, she said, "Mr... um... I dunno his name, well, he wanted to talk to you. And I wanted to check on you. Apparently I can't get you out of here until we know whether Gangsta Cronie is gonna press charges."

"He probably will. Might as well keep me in here with this weirdo and not even ask the guy."

"I wanted to speak to you, Mr..." the police captain said, trailing off in question.

"Jaganshi," Hiei said dryly. "What do you want?"

"Shadow-chan told me you knocked your victim out in three hits with your fists. Is that true?"

"I think I kicked him once... And don't refer to him as the victim. Shadow was the victim, I was just defending her. It was pretty difficult for her to do it on her own, hanging from the ceiling."

"We'll discuss that later. Was this just a normal guy, Mr. Jaganshi?"

"He was human, if that's what you mean."

The police captain chuckled a bit. "I meant, was he some kind of weak scrawny thing?"

"No, he was about twice my size. Why?"

The man nodded thoughtfully. "Do you know martial arts, Mr. Jaganshi?"

"Yes."

"Do you, by any chance, use your martial arts in your career?"

"I'm a freakin' phys. ed. teacher at a high school! What do you think?"

"You're a teacher!" Karasu laughed. "That's funny! When did that happen?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Hiei snarled.

"Well, Jaganshi-sensei, would you be willing to give up your job for a full-time position on my force?"

"Not... really..."

"How about a part-time job to keep you out of prison?"

Hiei blinked.

"I'll tell you what. I can pull some strings. If the man presses charges, we'll silence him and keep you out of prison if you join my force."

"Wait... Is this some kind of bribe...?"

"If you want to call it that... I'd rather think of it as a fair trade. I believe there's an opening on the night shift. You'd be paid."

"But..."

"Hiei, he's willing to let you off the hook for good! All you have to do is work the night shift. You can handle that, can't you?"

"You mean you wouldn't mind?" Hiei said. Shadow shook her head.

"I don't care. It's up to you, but if you want my advice, I say go for it."

Hiei looked cautiously at the police captain. "Is there a catch?"

"No catch. I'll contact the victim, see if he's going to press charges. If he is, all you need to do is agree to join my force and I'll silence him. Your records will bear no extra mark against you. You'll be paid and you'll work night shift five nights a week. If he isn't pressing charges, you're free to go. If he is and you don't agree, you'll go through with what the law requires."

"Why does he get a good deal like that?" Karasu asked bitterly. "He's just another criminal like the rest of us, right?"

"Shut up," the police captain said. "Well, Jaganshi-san?"

Hiei sighed. "I'll think about it. I'm allowed to have visitors, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll think on it. Could I have a little time alone to talk to Shadow?"

"Of course."

The man left. Shadow instantly hugged Hiei through the bars.

"So what should I do?" he asked, stepping back.

"I think you should take the job," she said. "I mean, you can deal with it, can't you? Night shift... It wouldn't run over school starting..."

"It'd be close, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah... You probably would have time to come home, shower, change, eat, and maybe sleep a little... You wouldn't have a whole lot of free time, but I mean, come on... Do you do much in your free time anyhow?"

"Actually, I do. But I can go a while without sleep. Don't worry about that."

"So are you gonna do it?"

"Probably. Tell the fox about all this."

At "fox", Karasupreviously sulking in the back cornerbrightened a bit. Perhaps he'd get to see Kurama! That would improve being stuck in this ningen jail. His change did not go unnoticed to Shadow.

"Karasu, what'd you do to get stuck in here?"

"I kinda accidentally damaged the police captain's car... And his dog."

"You damaged his dog?"

"Beyond repair, yes."

"You killed it?"

"I didn't really mean to. I was just looking at it, and the guy shot at me, startling me, and several things blew up. My fault entirely, I admit, but I think he overreacted."

"Okay, and why didn't you just blow him up and run?"

"Well, on the way here, I was weighing the consequences, and I decided that, though wreaking havoc in Ningenkai is a tempting idea, it's just not what I do. Yes, I did realize that it would probably be something the Reikai tantei would be sent to settle, but once they settled it, I'd most likely be taken to Reikai and never returned... I would never see my Kurama again."

Hiei cringed, suppressing a shudder. "I can't believe I'm stuck in a cell with you."

"Not for long," Shadow said.

"Unfortunately," Karasu added. At this, Hiei did shudder.

"You're a creep. Stay away from me."

"Don't worry, Hiei. You will never hold the same charm as Kurama does. Though you aren't entirely unappealing..." His eyes dropped to Hiei's hand, which was held in Shadow's. "...it seems you're taken. By a young halfbreed girl, no less."

"Wanna make something of it?" Shadow asked. Karasu shook his head.

"Not at all. I hear rape is common in ningen prison."

"I'll camp here if I must," the girl threatened.

"No need, Shadow. No need," Karasu sighed, sitting down. "I'll get my satisfaction elsewhere."

Hiei cringed. "If I have to put up with this for very long, no police captain will be able to pull strings to get me off punishment."

"You have good tolerance, Hiei. Use it. I'll be back later, I promise." Shadow turned and ran off. Hiei cast a look at the freak he had to share a cell with.

"You got thrown in prison for killing a dog?"

"The police captan's dog."

"Still, I'd think you, being the creative individual you are, would find a better way to get imprisoned."

"I didn't mean to."

"Yes... So you said."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"I actually don't believe you killed a dog at all. But it's not my concern, and I don't care." He leaned against the wall. Karasu frowned a bit.

"You know, you're nothing like Kurama."

"For which I thank whatever beings are responsible."

Meanwhile, Shadow had plopped down in the cushioned chair at the big smiling police officer's desk while his back was turned. He turned back and halted, blinking.

"What are you doing, miss?" he asked, staring at the computer screen.

"It's solitare. I'm playing solitare on your computer. Haven't you ever played solitare before?" she replied.

"Yes... But that's my computer. Civilians are not permitted"

"Whatever." She closed it and stood up. "Can I use your phone?"

"What for?"

"I need to call a friend of mine to tell him what happened. Then I need to wait for him here, as he'll doubtlessly be wanting to..." She trailed off and stared at the door as Eclipse came in, still in her soccer gear, struggling against her police escort. "Hey! What are you doing here!"

Eclipse stopped dead and looked around. Spotting Shadow, she waved cheerily and dragged the officers flanking her over to the desk.

"Since when are you a cop?" she asked.

"Since when do you get arrested?"

"I'm not arrested."

"And I'm not a cop. So why are you here?"

"They just thought I was out of control. One of my parents needs to come pick me up but they're in Sapporo, so I dunno how that's gonna work." She smiled again.

"They're both in Sapporo?"

"Uh-hm!" she said cheerfully.

"Wow. Sucks to be you. Maybe Kurama can get you."

Eclipse snorted. Then she looked thoughtful. "Maybe... Can I call him?"

"I'm calling him about Hiei. I'll mention it."

"Ooh! Can I be in a cell with Hiei?" the girl pleaded, turning to her escorts. They frowned and dragged her off before Shadow could warn of Hiei's cell mate. Shrugging, she picked up the phone and had Kurama's number dialed before turning to the man whose desk the phone sat on.

"You did say I could use your phone, didn't you?"

"Actually, I"

Shadow turned her attention away as the phone was answered. "Moshi moshi, 'kaasan! Is Shuuichi home?" Blink, blink. "Okay. Yeah, I can hold on, I'm not busy."

The big smiling cop was no longer smiling, and several of his colleagues were staring. There was a shriek from the prison which Shadow ignored, as it was quite obviously Eclipse. It said, "KARASU!" Then Kurama got on the phone and Shadow forgot all about it in two seconds.

"Hey fox!" she said upon his answering. He sighed.

"What is it, Shadow?"

"Well, we have a problem, and I'm sorry to take you away from your precious post-shower grooming, we all know how you important it is for you to comb your hair and all that, but see, I'm at the prison, and"

"What'd you do?"

"Actually, for once, it was anyone but me. It was Hiei. And Eclipse. Eclipse needs a parent to pick her up, and they're in Sapporo, so... She thought maybe you could."

"I'm not her parent. They'd never let me."

"Does she have an older sibling?"

"I don't know."

"Well maybe your mother could pick her up."

"We'll see. And what about Hiei?"

"We've got his situation under control, but I think he wants your wise advice. So in other words, get your arse down here, fox. I'm using a police officer's phone without express permission, and if I don't get off, he'll probably toss me in prison too. And the only person who can get me out is also in prison. So, come to the police station, and we'll discuss it here. Ja mata." She hung up, then got out of the officer's chair and skipped over to the captain's office, which she rudely entered without knocking. He was on the phone. She instantly spun and skipped back out, and went to the prison area. Skipping back to Hiei's cell, she found Eclipse cowering in the corner behind Hiei, farthest from Karasu possible.

"Hello, homies!" she said cheerfully. Eclipse looked at her with wide, horrified eyes.

"Please tell me Kurama's on his way!"

"Kurama's on his way, but he'd just gotten out of the shower and probably needs about half an hour to make his hair pretty, so he'll be on his way when he's done, I'd say, meaning you're stuck in here with this lecher and Hiei for about forty-five minutes more."

Eclipse scree-ed and cowered, covering her head with her hands. Hiei sighed.

"If I move, she'll scream until everyone within a two-mile radius goes deaf."

As if to emphasize this, Eclipse flung her arms around Hiei's leg and refused to let go. Shadow frowned.

"It's not like Karasu has any interest in you, Eclipse. Let go of Hiei," she said.

"Yes, let go of him. Shadow's getting jealous," Karasu said.

Eclipse glared at Karasu. "Now, just cuz you told me to, I'm not gonna!"

Hiei sighed, grabbed her arms, and pried her off his leg. It was quite a challenge, as a girl with her mind set is an even more formidable opponent than any demon Hiei had ever fought. However, he managed to get her to loosen her hold enough that he could pull out of her grip (with Shadow's help, kicking Eclipse through the bars as she was).

"Hey, that's so unfair!" Eclipse whined. "You cheated!"

"... I wasn't aware you could cheat at getting a psycho girl to unlatch from your leg..." Hiei muttered, carefully standing out of both Eclipse's and Karasu's easy reach.

"Apparently you can," Karasu said.

"Yes you can! And you did! And I can't believe it! I thought you were fair and honorable and all that!" Eclipse accused. "And oh my God you moved! I have to scream now!"

She'd barely begun to take a deep breath before Hiei clamped his hand over her mouth.

"You scream, and I'll make sure you stay well within Karasu's reach for the remainder of your stay. Which, incidentally, shouldn't be too long if Kurama's allowed to pick you up."

"Forty-three minutes," Shadow said, checking her watch (which she hadn't been wearing five minutes previous).

"What's forty-three minutes?"

Shadow turned and the three imprisoned inhuman people peered out of the cell as Kurama walked through the door at the end of the hall with a police escort.

"Until you show up, fox. Go home and don't come back for forty-three minutes! I cannot be wrong!" Shadow snapped, throwing an eraser at him (where's she getting all this stuff!). He caught it and stepped up next to her. Eclipse flung her arms through the bars and grabbed him, pulling him into a painfully tight hug.

"Please tell me you came to get me out!"

"Yeah," he choked. "My mother's speaking to one of the officers now. Let go."

She obeyed.

"Hello, Hiei," he greeted. Hiei returned the greeting. The fox's eyes darted to the other occupant and his shoulders slouched. "You?"

"Good evening, Kurama," Karasu said, grinning.

"What's he doing here?" the fox asked Shadow. Then he raised an eyebrow at the scrutinizing look Shadow was giving him, hand on her chin. If she'd had a beard, she would bave been doing the trademark beard-stroking thing that bearded people do when they think. "What?"

"I'm trying to figure out how you got out of the shower, talked to me, then showed up here five minutes later, looking like you hadn't just taken a shower."

"There's an amazing creation called a hair drier, Shadow," Kurama said. "Now tell me what the hell's going on."

"Well, Karasu says he killed the police cap"

"I don't give a damn about Karasu! Would you explain what happened with Hiei?"

"I dodged a ticket for indecent exposure, too," Shadow said. "Isn't that interesting?"

"I don't... Oh, for the love of... Hiei, what'd you do?"

"Defended Shadow," Hiei sighed. "I shouldn't have. I should've just left her hanging from the ceiling. She eventually would've gotten herself down..."

Kurama blinked. "I'm confused."

"That's unusual for you," Shadow said, putting her hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling well?"

"Get off me," he said, swatting her hand away.

"Ow..." she whimpered. "Hiei, foxy was mean to me..."

"I think you'll survive, Shadow."

"I will?"

"Yes. Now, as I was saying," Hiei said, and proceeded to tell Kurama what had occured since he'd gotten Shadow's telepathic plea. Shadow, of course, filled in what had happened before that. The fox listened, eyebrows raised, and when Hiei was finished, he blinked and scratched his head.

"Well, I can't say that's not interesting..." he admitted.

"It's true, too."

Everyone jumped and looked at the police captain. The freak had just shown up halfway through Hiei's story without announcing his presence! How dare he.

"I didn't doubt it, sir," Kurama said, of course being polite to his 'superior.'

"The principal of Mieou High School is here, saying something about the phys. ed. teacher's assault on his harmless friend?"

"Yeah, and...?" Hiei prompted.

"Well, apparently his harmless friend is pressing charges. So, Hiei, what do you say?"

"I'll do it," he sighed.

"Very good. Sign this." He held out a clipboard and handed Hiei a pen. The fire demon sighed and scribbled his signature on the line. Then he cursed.

"Shoulda read that first, shouldn't I have..."

"Probably," the man said frankly, taking the pen back. Hiei frowned.

"Shit." So he stood there with his bandaged right arm hanging through the bars, looking thoughtful for a second. "Can I read it now? Just so I know what's in it?"

The door down the hall opened. "Sir! Could you come here, please?"

"Apparently not," the captain replied, starting down the hall.

"Dammit," Hiei muttered. Kurama sighed.

"Oopsy," Karasu taunted. "You could have just signed your soul over to the devil, Hiei. You should work on that quick thinking of yours."

Hiei shot him a venomous glare. "I will not accept sarcasm from the likes of you, Karasu."

"Jeez. I think Hiei hates Karasu more than Kurama does," Shadow muttered to herself.

"I doubt that's possible," Kurama muttered. "Hiei hasn't been touched and harassed and hit on by Karasu."

"I could fix that," Karasu said. Hiei spun and punched him in one fluid movement.

"Do us all a favor and shut up," he said as the demon fell over. Shiori happened to be heading down the hall towards them at that precise moment to pick up Eclipse. She gasped a bit when she saw Hiei standing over a senseless man's body.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing, Okaasan," Kurama said, putting a hand on her shoulder while flashing Hiei a 'control yourself better!' look. Hiei replied with a 'shut up!' look. Shadow grinned, understanding the entire little exchange of non-words and finding it amusing. Instead of saying anything, she turned to Shiori.

"Hello, Okaasan!" she said cheerfully. "You came to get Eclipse, did you?"

"Hai..." she murmured. Karasu twitched and sat up.

"Ow... Son of a..." He blinked and looked up at Shiori. "Who's that?"

"This is my mother, Karasu," Kurama said, his voice saying he was kindly introducing them, but his eyes saying, "You say anything to her and I'll kill you." They sure do converse with body language a lot, don't they?

"Ah..." He stood up, smiling. "It's nice to meet you. I doubt your son has ever spoken of me, but we've met before."

"Yes. 'Kaasan, let's get Eclipse and go. Hiei's fine," Kurama said curtly.

The officer who'd come in with Shiori chased Hiei away from the door and opened it, letting Eclipse out. She danced out and hugged Kurama and his mother.

"Thanks a billion for getting me out of that hell-hole! I don't think I could have ever survived much longer in there! Let's go."

"Sayonara!" Shadow said, waving as the trio departed. Once all the police escorts and such were gone, Hiei spun on Karasu and kneed him, then punched him.

"He told you not to say anything to her, you bastard!"

Karasu supported himself in a sitting position against the wall. "Why must you be so violent, Hiei?"

"Because you're an idiot."

Shadow stood outside the cell, hands clasped behind her back, grinning. "I think you two will survive just fine without my supervision. I think I'm gonna go try to weasel that contract off Mr. Police Captain Sir." She spun and ran off.

Sliding into the police station, Shadow stopped dead right in front of Yamashita, nearly falling on her face.

"Jeez, man!" she yelped. "I've got things to do! Why are you here?"

"Ryobe will put Jaganshi where he belongs," Yamashita growled.

"I don't think he's capable of that. Hiei belongs in the throne of a king," Shadow replied coldly. Bit of an exaggeration, and she knew it, but hey... Exaggerating never hurt anyone, did it?

"Ha! I meant he'll put him six feet under. I wonder if you'll behave better if your lover isn't at school."

Shadow laughed darkly. "I'd like to see you try to kill Hiei. What's ol' Ryobe? A big guy with a big mouth. Hiei's a martial arts master. You try to kill him... Well, I won't go into detail. Now move."

Yamashita fumed. Shadow pushed him aside and stalked over to the police captain's office. Kurama and Eclipse had just been leaving, but they'd seen the little scene just now.

"Y'know... Yamashita seems to have mob connections," Eclipse said. "I bet next he'll have a sniper on her."

Kurama snorted. "Leave it. I doubt he will, and she can take care of herself."

"Or rather, Hiei can take care of her." She blinked. "Y'know... I can't believe the nerve of those police people. Just cuz my friggin' mother's not home I've gotta stay with you."

The police captain's office door slammed. Kurama stared.

"Yes, well..." He shrugged and they left. Shadow, meanwhile, was standing outside the police captain's office, blinking rapidly. She turned and walked back to the prison in a daze.

"Can you believe it?" she said when she reached Hiei. "He won't even let me in his office now."

"Why not?"

"Beats me," she replied, sulking. "He did say you have to spend the night here, though."

"Great."

"And since tomorrow's Saturday... Who knows when he'll let you out."

"Marvelous."

"I'll be all alone..."

In the back corner, Karasu sniffled fakely to mock her. Hiei fumed. Shadow handed him a brick (where'd she get that?) which he threw at the vamp freak, hitting him squarely in the head and knocking him out. It vanished when it hit the floor.

"That solves that," he said.

"Yeah, now you won't have to worry about him raping you tonight."

Hiei's eyes widened. "Thanks! He'll probably wake up before then anyway!"

"Well! He said"

"Thanks, Shadow. Really. You sound concerned."

"Oh, cut me a break. He won't rape you. You'd cut off his arms."

"With what?"

"Reiken!"

Hiei snorted. "Right, I'm gonna rip off Kuwabara's move. Sure."

"Whatever works."

"But..."

"Do you want me to stay here and keep an eye on him? Because I figured you could take care of yourself, but"

"I'm fine, Shadow. Jeez. Go home and go to bed."

Shadow blinked. "But it's like, early. I don't sleep at this time of day."

"Yes you do."

"But I'll be all alone!"

"Can't you bear that?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't wanna."

"Are you that attached to me that I can't be away over night without you dying or something?"

"I'm not attached at all! And I won't die!"

"Good to hear. So prove it."

"Are you trying to get rid of me? Maybe you want to be left alone with Karasu!"

"Shadow!"

She smiled. "Just kidding." She kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna go home now."

"Bye."

Shadow turned and left. Hiei watched her go, then turned and climbed up onto the top bunk of the two beds in the corner. Seating himself in the center of the bed with his legs crossed, he began to meditate.

When Shadow reached home, she was slightly surprised to find Ryu Obake sitting on the porch. Driving her motocycle up into the yard, she zoomed up to the porch, hitting the brakes and sliding to parallel park right next to the porch where Ryu was sitting. He jumped back, letting out a startled shout. She looked up at him, a bit of a frown on her face.

"Are you stalking me?"

"Where'd you get so good at driving that thing?"

"I... eh, have a lot of experience with stunt driving." Well, perhaps you could call outrunning cops stunt driving, perhaps you couldn't. "Why are you here?"

"My parents were pissed I went and ran off yesterday, so they yelled at me and now I got myself banished from the house. Can I stay here for the weekend?"

Shadow stared. "Well..." Well, Kurama and Eclipse probably won't drop by until her parents get back... Perhaps Yusuke and Kuwabara will come by (doubtful), Hiei's in prison, Karasu's in prison, if I want any sort of humanoid company, here's my chance. If not, it'll be me talking to the doom minions until Hiei gets back. "Sure." She paused. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Not too long."

"Don't you have other friends, though?"

"Yeah, but to be honest, their houses suck compared to yours, their parents are bad cooks, and I'd probably end up eating leftover Chinese from last Tuesday for dinner."

"Nasty."

"Yeah. So... Where's Jaganshi-sensei?" He peered around Shadow as if the fire demon were hiding behind her.

"Not here, obviously," she replied, starting up her motorcycle and driving it around to park it behind the house. Ryu waited for her to come back around, but the front door burst open behind him. He jumped.

"Jeez!" Spinning, he saw Shadow standing there.

"You comin' in?"

"Where'd... what..."

"Two doors, kid," she replied, grinning. She stood aside to let him in. He picked up his bookbag and went inside.

"So, where is he?"

"Prison," Shadow replied shortly, shutting the door. "Don't tell." Like that'll make a difference. Fourteen out of fifteen of the soccer team will instantly call all their rumor-spreading friends and the whole school will be buzzing about it by Monday...

"Prison! What's he doing there?"

"I don't know what he's doing right now," she replied, "but before I left, he was standing in his cell."

Ryu rolled his eyes. "What'd he do!"

"Punched some guy. He's getting away without anything, though. He just had to spend the night. He probably won't be in a good mood when he comes home tomorrow. His cell mate is bisexual with a history of rape."

Ryu's jaw dropped, then he snapped his teeth shut, cringing. "I'm gonna be sick."

"Don't worry, Hiei's not gonna get raped." She shut her eyes, and after a second, jumped like she'd been shocked. "Owie. He's meditating." Then she blinked. "Oops. Pretend you didn't see that."

"How do you know he's meditating? Why'd you say 'owie'? What's with you people?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Shadow snapped. The phone rang and she jumped, letting out a short scream. Snatching it up off the receiver, she had time to rudely greet whoever was calling before the receiver fell off the table from her snatch. She just glared at it, snapped, "Nothing! Who are you and what do you want!" into the phone, then paused, her bottom lip held between her teeth as she listened to the response.

"Who is it?" Ryu asked. Shadow flung a notepad at him to shut him up.

"Uh-huh," she said. There was a short pause. "Listen, dude. I don't know where you'd get the idea a female would want Playboy magazine." Pause. "Whatever the hell! I don't care what it's called! And no I don't want to pose for your fuckin' sex shit! I'm sixteen!" Pause, looking increasingly annoyed. "I DON'T CARE IF I'M AT THE PRIME OF BEAUTY, I'M NOT ABOUT TO GO BE A TOTAL SKANK AND PLASTER MY 'PRIME OF BEAUTY' ALL OVER FUCKIN' MAGAZINES FOR SOME UGLY GUY WITH NO SEX LIFE TO GET OFF ON!" Pause. Eyes bugging. "I DON'T CARE IF I'LL BE PAID WELL, AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF IT'S LEGAL! I'M TELLING MY HUSBAND SOME ASS WAS HITTING ON ME OVER THE PHONE! HE'S WITH THE MAFIA! EXPECT HIM AT YOUR HOUSE IN TWO DAYS, WITH A LOT OF GUNS!" She grabbed the receiver off the floor and slammed the phone down on it, then turned to Ryu, smiling brightly.

"Um... Husband?" he said.

"Yeah."

"You're married?"

"No. I just felt like telling the dial tone that I was."

"Dial tone?"

"Yeah. The phone hung up somehow when the receiver fell off." She joyfully skipped away, flapping her hands like fairy wings. Ryu stared, then trailed up the stairs and went to the room he'd had on his last stay.

Arriving home, Kurama showed Eclipse a spare room where she'd spend the night. Shiori kindly told her to feel at home. Once alone, Kurama told her not to act like she was home. Then he told her to go call her little brother and tell him what was going on. Grudgingly, she obeyed.

"MOSHI MOSHI?" came the little boy's voice over the phone after half a ring.

"Keiji," Eclipse said flatly, in a calm, quiet voice.

"HI ECLIPSE!"

"KEIJI, JUST BECAUSE I'M FAR AWAY DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO SHOUT! THIS INVENTION INTO WHICH YOU ARE SPEAKING DOES NOT IN ANY WAY MUFFLE YOUR VOICE OVER THE DISTANCE!" she shouted, louder even than he'd been talking.

"Okay. So what the hell do you want, bitch?" Keiji asked.

"Watch your language, dumb kid. I want you to go to the neighbor's house. You'll stay there until mom gets back. I got in trouble and I have to stay with a friend of mine."

"Your boy-friieend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend, you dumb child!"

"So Hiei's a girl!"

Eclipse shrieked. Kurama and his mother both appeared in the doorway as the girl snapped, "Hiei is quite male, Keiji, but he's not my boyfriend! I don't have a boyfriend!"

"So you've got a girlfriend! What about Shuu-i-chi?" the kid taunted. Kurama's eyebrow twitched a bit.

"I assure you, Shuuichi is also quite male. Now would you shut up!"

"How do you know he's a boy?"

"Because Shadow told me! Now would you shut up?"

Kurama's eyes widened a bit. He strode over to Eclipse and took the phone. "Hey."

"Oh my God, who're you!"

"Shuuichi," he replied.

"Are you my sister's boyfriend?"

"No, I'm not. Eclipse does not have a boyfriend, okay?"

"What about those other guys who were at her birthday party?"

Kurama snorted. "Just go to your friend's house, Keiji."

"Is my sister spending the night at your house?"

"Yes."

"Awww! Are you sharing a bed?"

"No. We're not even sharing a room."

"Are you gonna have sex?"

Kurama frowned. "Good-bye, Keiji." He hung up. "How did you live with that kid all your life?"

"By going to my happy place," Eclipse replied. "Only my happy place saved me. Then, more recently, Shadow's house. But, my happy place saved me."

Kurama nodded with the 'If you say so' look on his face. "You hungry?"

"Aren't I always?"

"Yes, I suppose that was a stupid question..."

"We still need to go pick up some of my stuff from my house."

"You wanna go do that now?"

"Sure, why not."

And so they ventured to Eclipse's house, picked up her belongings, tossed Keiji off the Eiffel Tower when they found him rooting through her bedroom, then picked up fast food when they realized they'd left without getting Eclipse food.

"Flush! Man, you're too good!" Ryu cried in disbelief, smiling.

"Thank you, and I'm not a man," Shaodw said, raking the poker chips over to her side of the table.

"Are you sure you're not cheating?"

"I don't cheat. I'm a very honest person. Wanna play again?"

"I don't think so, man! I'm out."

"Oh well." Shadow got up and went to the couch. "I'm gonna watch some TV."

And so went the day. Or, what remained of it. Meanwhile, back at the farm, Kurama was waiting for Eclipse to choose a DVD for them to watch. He took a sip of his tea as Eclipse came barreling down the stairs and into the kitchen, startling Shiori into dropping the plate she was holding. The girl flung herself across the room, hit the floor on her back and slid to catch the plate. Her head hit the cabinet and she ended up on her shoulders with her feet in the air. The lower half of her body slowly fell with a thud to the floor. Kurama blinked, his mouth forming a little 'o' in surprise as there was no sickening crack as usually followed some stupid endeavor of one of his friends, and there was no shatter of a plate hitting the floor. As his mother just stood with her hand over her mouth, staring, he got up and went to Eclipse, taking the plate out of her hands and giving it to his mother. She took it, shaking herself out of her daze.

"Let's not do that again," he said. The girl, sprawled out on the floor, grinned up at him. He offered his hand to help her up and she took it.

"Are you okay?" Shiori asked. The short girl grinned, rubbing the back of her head with her free hand.

"Yeah. Your plate okay?"

Kurama snorted. "The plate's fine, Eclipse. Come on." He led her out of the room. Once back in the living room, he pulled on her ear.

"What was that all about?"

"Saving that plate," Eclipse said. "I just had to. We couldn't let it die. I will not be responsible for murder."

"Of a plate?"

"Yeah!"

Kurama gave up. "What movie did you pick?"

"You'll see."

She stuck in a DVD and plopped herself on the couch. Sighing, Kurama sat next to her. Having left the choosing to Eclipse, he situated himself so that he'd be comfortable if he fell asleep.

However, about half an hour into the movie (which, oddly, had not been violent or cheesy at all, as the fox had expected), Eclipse was asleep with Kurama's leg as a pillow, clinging to the fabric of his pants with one hand like a child clinging to their favorite blanket. Shiori, peering into the room, smiled. Her son had seemed rather distant from other people all his life, until the last few years. Perhaps now he'd get himself a girlfriend and settle into a more normal life, she thought. However, she did not know that fox demons resurrected in humans do not have normal lives, even if their friends are human. It is scientifically proven. However, having three half-demons and one pureblood demon (in addition to the one human with freaky energy and a whole slew of other weirdos) as friends makes the life of a fox-spirit-gone-human even more abnormal. Kurama had no hope of a normal life unless he completely shut off all youki and sealed Youko deep in the recesses of his mind and used nothing that came from the fox. And, of course, that would never happen, because you need your soul to live a proper life (what with the seeing and the moving and the thinking and the breathing, you know). Pity.

But Shiori did not know this, and we shall not tell her. Let her bathe in her ignorance. What you know can't hurt you, and when you're a mother hoping happiness for your teenage son in the form of a girl and a normal life, and it seems that may be the direction the boy's life is moving in, you want to cling to that. So we'll not tell her her son is a demon.

Shiori shortly went back to whatever she'd been doing. Kurama stared at Eclipse, unsure what to do, then sighed and left her there. He was watching a movie, and she was far more peaceful asleep than awake. She even breathed quieter in her sleep. You can't lose with that. And so went the evening.

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Thanks again for wonderful reviews... Not much to say... Ryu does have a point in this story, Karasu has a semi-important part later, Hiei has another job now with another ningen boss...Lucky him, no? Review, please... I hope there wasn't any "cheesy romance" in this chapter... I just read it a couple hours ago and can't remember.

Shadow Jaganshi