Now!!! Listen and listen good (especially someone with the anonymous name of... 'me') now, this is a strict parody/humour fan fic... if you don't like it then I say it again: this is a strict humour/parody fan fic... if you still don't get it then I say it YET again: This is a...... Okay, you get the idea. If you flame me then remember, this is meant to be funny and make no sense coz it's completely random, okay? Why don't you just get a laugh out of it instead? To tell you the truth... I'm a big fan of FFVIII, probably a bigger one than you coz I can tell you the whole story of FFVIII with my eyes closed... anyway, I finished the game and I know what I'm doing, so don't whine... I'm only 13-years-old so I don't have a job yet ^_^ so right now, make a small girl happy, okay? R&R everyone!!!
Squall regained consciousness and found himself on a really uncomfortable bed... He got up and soon found out why: His pillow was gone!!!
"Oww..." Squall said rubbing his head. "What the hell happened to my pillow? And why does my head feel so painful? Does sleeping without a pillow cause so much damn pain?!" he yelled.
Then he remembered his 'dream'. Was it a dream though? He thought to himself. The last thing he remembered was that really hot chick of an instructor whamming him in the head...
"No wonder my head feels like a ton of bricks smashed it..." Squall sighed. "That chick really knows how to beat up a guy..."
Suddenly!!!!! Something that was completely white 'glided' into the room.
"AHHHH!!! Ghost!" Squall screamed, covering his eyes. "Get it away!!! Getitawaygetitaway!!!!!"
"O_o Calm down Squall... it was just a nightmare you had," came the familiar voice of...
"Dr KanOpener... I mean Kadowaki?!" Squall exclaimed. "You mean whatever the hell I had just now was a DREAM?!"
"Yeah... and a weird one at that... you were screaming about some Doctor Maniac and a ransom??? And then you threw your pillow into the dustbin!" the doctor said with an eyebrow raised. "What's gotten into you? You even threw yourself off the bed in the middle of the night!!!"
"I... I did?" Squall asked in bewilderment... "Sorry..."
"Anyway, cut the crap... How do you feel???"
"My forehead hurts... say, did Quistis come in here and bash it up just now?" Squall asked.
"-_-||| Err... no... you DID land on your head when you fell off the bed though..." the doctor replied.
"Oh, I see..." Squall said squinting up at her, "But still, I don't think I really DID fall off... Oh well..."
"Anyway, say your name for moi," the doctor said calmly.
"My name is...."
Game screen pops up and Squall tries to spell his name. Squeal? No. Squarll? No. Squash? Definitely NOT... SQUALL! YEAH!!!
"... Squall Leonhart..."
"Right, you know, you shouldn't have tried to kill yourself when fighting Seifer you know? I know what you teens do now a days: trying to act all cool. But you'll only come to your senses if you break a limb or two..."
"-_- What a lame poem..." Squall said.
"YOU THINK I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A POEM?????" Dr Kadowaki screamed, causing Squall to fly 50 feet into the air and hit the ceiling. "I think I better call Quistis now to take you as far away from this infirmary as possible..." Dr Kadowaki walked away...
Squall frowned... why was he held prisoner by this Dr Kadowaki anyway? He felt okay, felt great, felt... Oh SHIT!!! Squall just remembered that he was supposed to have his field examinations today... just before Seifer turned up and decided that his head on a shinny silver plater would be a nice trophy...
Squall's thoughts were interrupted by Quistis' sudden arrival...
Screen shows Quistis walking elegantly to the infirmary and upon seeing Squall, she gives a sigh and what we all don't know, a mental note: "Oh, Squall's awake... he's so cute... well, looks like I've gotta' take him to class now!! Tee hee!"
Quistis walks over to Squall and looks down at him. He stares back up at her.
"I knew it'd be either you or Seifer... but in this case, it's you!!!" Quistis said, almost jovial.
Cut to Squall and Quistis are walking towards class...
"So Squall, how are you? How's Seifer? Are you okay? Did you like the get-well card and gifts that I sent you? Do they have nice food in the infirmary? How come you were out cold for so long? Are you still-" Quistis ranted on before Squall shot her a death glare.
"Whaaaaaat~?" Quistis whined, "I'm just trying to be friendly here with my student..."
"Well, it's none of your-" Squall started.
"Hyne-damned business?" Quistis finished for him and smirked. Then she giggled.
Squall raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, none of your Hyne-damned business, so stop asking and stop giggling like a schoolgirl..."
It was Quistis who shot him a death glare this time. "Hey! I AM a schoolgirl you idiot!"
" -_- You seem too mature to be one... But still, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE SHERRY BIRKIN!!!" Squall screamed at his teacher, now we all know that he hates Quistis ^_^.
"Suuuuure..." Quistis said rolling her eyes, "Since when do you play Resident Evil anyways???"
"Oh, it's a cool game ^_^ how I always win when I use the combat knife... of course, I'm always an expert when it comes to knives, swords, blades and guns... erm... maybe not guns..." Squall said, scratching his head...
"O_O You used ONLY the combat knife throughout the whole game...?" Quistis asked, impressed.
"^_^ yeah!"
"Woah!!! Cool man! I'm impressed! You must really know how to use the Gunblade!!!" Quistis praised.
"Thanks! Anyway, you took the wrong turn... We're supposed to go to class..." Squall said, jabbing his thumb behind him.
"Oh... ooops..." Quistis said, "And you can put your THUMB BACK ON!!!"
"^_^ 'kay!!!"
20 minutes later...
Quistis walks into class, followed by Squall.
"Alright!" Quistis announced, "You all have the right to remain silent!!!"
Everyone in class looked at her, even Squall, who was walking to his seat.
Quistis looked confused, and then she perked up again and smiled, "^_^ I meant that if you guys have finished your SeeD field exams, you may go free from this prison of a class and have the rest of the day off!"
"YAY!!!!!" Almost every single person in the class screamed happily and like a stampede, rushed out, causing some people near the doorway to be flattened.
Quistis sweatdropped. "Take them to the infirmary..." she said to some other pupils and pointed to where the flattened students were, twitching...
A group of 'Trepies' saluted and hauled away the casualties of classroom 'war'.
Quistis turned to Seifer. "Oh yes! And Seifer, my dear, DO NOT EVER TRY TO KILL SQUALLY WHILE IN BATTLE! UNDERSTOOD???"
"._. Yes maaaaaa'aaaaaaam!!!!" Seifer said, saluting... Then, while Quistis was not looking, he used his fist to hit his desk... "OOOWWW!!!!!!" he cried, "THAT friggin' HURT LIKE HELL!!!" he screamed to no one in particular. "Not only that! I think I cracked the screen of my Study Panel computer thingy!!!"
"Oh yeah? Well, serves you right!" Squall said, sticking his tongue out at Seifer.
"Yeah, whatever... I'm outta' here!" Seifer said, leaving the classroom.
Squall also turned to follow Seifer out of class when...
Quistis turned to Squall. "Riiiight now Mr Leonhart, you'd better come with me to do your field exam..."
"But I already did it!!!" Squall protested.
"Oh reeaally???" Quistis asked with mock seriousness.
"No." Squall answered.
"Okay, I don't suppose you'd have a good reason for that do you?"
"I DO SO!!!" Squall protested, "It was that idiot of a Seifer! He messed me up big time!!!"
"Hmm... you're right for once... but anyway, let's go do your field exam anyways... Head for the Fire Cavern okie???" Quistis said, smiling.
"Umm... You want me to go straight to the Fire Cavern and miss all your 'important points on fine battling and junctioning and equipping magic and stuff like that'?" Squall asked innocently.
"Hmmm... On second thought, no. I'd better go with you coz I like torturing you with all my mass knowledge and skill of killing monsters ^_^... So, head for the [Front Gate] once you're done with whatever you wanna' do in the Garden! Have fun getting out your GFs from the Study Panel! But seriously, some of my students don't know how to get their GFs out of the computer..."
With that, Quistis strode out of the class, leaving a very stupified Squall behind.
Finally, Squall trudged back to his desk and sat down, turning on the power to his Study Panel computer and these were the options in front of him:
1. Tutorial (New!)
2. The Basics
3. About Garden
4. A message from Garden
5. Garden Square
6. The School Festival Committee
Squall picked 'Tutorial (New!)' and it said that he got his two Guardian Forces (GFs). He named them Shiva and Quezacotl.
"Yeahhhh... I shall name thee 'Shiva the Great Ice Queen' and 'Quezacotl the cool looking but down right lousy GF'!!!" Squall said thriumphantly.
Then, after looking up his website, www.Seifersucks.com, Squall got bored and turned the power to his Study Panel off since he read about everything in there already.
Then, he trudged out of the classroom where homework killed almost everyone...
As he was walking towards the lift saomething ridiculous happened...
"I'm late, I'm late, I'M LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a girl screamed causing Squall to jump 10 feet into the air and land on the girl...
"Oww..." the girl groaned as Squall got off her.
The girl was revealed to be... dun dun dun... a really short one!!!
Squall raised an eyebrow as 2 options that he could choose appeared on the screen, or in HIS case, the options appeared in his FACE.
Squall chose the first option which incidentally made him say: "Are you okay?"
The girl that was about a head shorter than him got up and skipped, "There!" she said happily, "Sure I'm okay, coz like, I've been hit by a truck before! Tee Hee! So, I missed my class didn't I?" she asked, seriously this time.
"Errr... yeah..." Squall said confirming her doubts, then, he looked at her strangely.
"Oh!" the girl said, looking at Squall's funny face, "I'm a new transfer student from Trabia Garden ^_^ So I don't really know my way around..." she said sadly, but then brightened up immediately, "Say, you think you can show me around or something?"
Squall looked annoyed and was about to ask her to go away but changed his mind since he was going down using the lift and the directory was downstairs too...
So he agreed making this mysterious girl the first ever 'sort of' member to his party...
Squall headed towards the lift.............
And so, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the wonderful flamers of the FFVIII community!!! Well, I don't give a damn about flamers or fan fic haters and anyway, I'm gonna' continue this whether ye like it or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!