Now, courtesy of my younger brother who gave me some help on this fan fic... Yaysies! New chapter at last! Flamers shall be re-flamed and fans shall be fanned if in the heat... Now, onto this marvelous but terribly weird fic!!!

The new girl (by the name of Selphie Tilmitt) followed right behind Squall as he ran towards the lift. However, before heading towards the lift, Squall decided to have a little 'fun'...

Squall Leonhart started to run around in circles for about 10 minutes then he changed his course and started to do cartwheels and back-flips and assorted gymnastics moves that only heroes in the Olympics can master. The new girl, oblivious, also followed Squall, doing the 'spliiiiit', the marathon, etc.

Then, suddenly, Squall...... stopped.......

Selphie ran right into him. "Oooooof!!!!!" Selphie's nose went smack right into Squall's back. "Owww... What was THAT for?!?!?!" she cried, rubbing her nose which turned a pink colour...

"Oh lookie!!!" Squall said excitedly, pointing to someone standing near the lift.

Some reeeeeeeaaaaaaally random guy accidentally dropped his WHOLE Triple Traid deck containing around a bazillion cards. He frantically starts to pick them up...

Squall runs over to the Random Guy. "Yo! Let me help you with those, man!" Squall picked up a handful of about 7 cards and........ runs away with it, straight into the lift where Selphie was waiting... "Muahahahahaha!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, causing all the glass on the 2nd floor to shatter.

Once Squall was inside the lift, he quickly jabbed his finger at the lift door, trying to close it in case a really mad Random Guy wanted his cards back. He was right... Random Guy was heard yelling something in Spanish before the door closed and went to the 1st floor.

"Ooooooh YEAH!!! I ROCK at stealing Random People's cards!!!!" Squall said doing some weird victory dance.

"Uhhhhhhhhh....... Squall? I know I'm not supposed to know your name yet but........ you didn't have to steal those cards you know?" Selphie, who Squall incidentally is also not supposed to know her name yet, was pointing at the cards in Squall's hand.

Squall looks at the cards in his hand and almost died on the spot. "Damnit!!!!!!" he shrieked, "All SEVEN of these cards SUCK, man!!!!!!!"

Selphie nodded sympathetically. "Anyway, since you didn't ASK that guy nicely for your cards, I'll just have to tell you how to battle in Triple Traid," she gave Squall a weird grin, "To initiate the 'Card Battle' mode, press the 'Square' button." Her grin became wider.

"Okay! ^_^" Squall smiled and tried it out.

After 20 minutes......

"Ummm.... Selph? How do you press the 'Square' button...?" Squall asked, confused.

Selphie slapped her forehead in irritation and replied, "How the hell should I know???" She looked up, "Anyway, the lift door's open, let's get outta' here..."

Squall looks out of the door. "Uhh... This was the same level that we were on just now..." he checks his watch, "... about 20 minutes ago...?"

Selphie just stares up at Squall. Squall pushes the lift button and they travelled down into the abyss... of DOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

1st floor a.k.a. Abyss Of DOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

"We're here!!!!!!" Selphie screamed happily as she shot out of the lift, but didn't see the stairs in front of her...

"We're finally he- AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Owies!!!!! Ouch!!! Oommmmph!!!!! Eeeeeeeek!!!! AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Everyone at Garden stared at Selphie as she tripped and went tumbling down the stairs....

Selphie, somehow by some magical force rolled back up and did a flip which made her land on her feet accurately.

"I'm fine!!! ^_^" Selphie called out to everyone.

Squall slapped a hand to his forehead and sighed. "I'm hating this soooo much..."

Everyone else at the first floor of Balamb Garden stared in awe at the young girl. Some even started to clap. This was the first time in Garden History that anyone had ever fallen down the steps leading up to the lifts and done a front-flip to get back up WHILE STILL ROLLING DOWN THESE STEPS!!!

Selphie was soon joined by Squall as he made his way down the stairs...

"HEY!!!" Selphie suddenly said, making Squall cover his delicate ears. "Isn't that what you're lookin' for? The Leaning Tower 'O Pizza???"

Squall looked to where Selphie was pointing, curious to know why there was a leaning tower in the garden made out of pizza... or a pizza made out of leaning towers.

He frowned and sighed as he noticed what Selphie was pointing to.

"Little girl, that's the darn Garden Directory!!!!!!!! Get some glasses man!!!!!!" Squall yelled, annoyed.

Selphie looked about ready to kill, or blow someone up with a rocket launcher. "Little girl!!? LITTLE GIRL??! I'm not a little girl, nor am I a MAN!!!" she screamed at him, causing all the broken glass that was broken earlier to break into even smaller pieces.

"Oh, okies then ^_^ You're a big girl, 'kay?" Squall said, "Now, let us go look at the Garden Directory!!!"

"Whatever..." Selphie said, waving her hand and following Squall to the big board thingy...

Squall turned and looked back at Selphie. "What did you just say?" he questioned.

Selphie looked puzzled, then she shrugged and said, "Whatever?"

Squall looked at Selphie harder and replied, "Whatever," He rolled his eyes and continued towards the directory.

"Now..." Said Squall as they reached the board. "This is the Cafeteria, this is the library, this is the blah blah blah...."

After 5 minutes of explaining...

"You got it now?" Squall asked.

"Uh.... Yeah, I guess..." Selphie replied.

"Okay!!!! Good! You're on your own now. Bye!!!" Squall turned around and ran to the Front Gates.

As he passed the guy in charge of the gate...

"YO MISTER GATE MAAAAAAAN!!!!!" Squall yelled gleefully, "WAZZZZZUUUUP?!?!"

The gate man waved at Squall. "Yo, Squall! Good to see that Seifer hasn't already killed you ^_^"

Squall stopped dead in his tracks, backtracked a little, aimed a punch at the gate man and sent him flying clear to China... er... I mean Esthar...

A minute later, Squall jogged to where Quistis was and gave her a wave.

"Hiya, Squall!!!" Quistis said brightly, "What took you so long?"

Squall yawned, "This girl followed me around at Garden. I think she was stalking me or something... probably a terrorist planning to bomb Garden too..."

Quistis gave Squall a O_o look. "What...?"

"Oh yeah. And this guy insulted me on the way here so I thought I'd teach him a good lesson ^_^" Squall smiled.

"And... What exactly did you do to that guy?" Quistis was afraid to ask.

Squall's grin became wider. "I sent him to the moon."

"Woah... WAY TO GO SQUALL!" Quistis screamed, "I've always hated that guy since the day I was born!!!"

"Yeah yeah, can we get going now????" said an enthusiastic Squall who was ready to kill some bad guys.

So Quistis and Squall put on rollerblades and started blading out of the Garden.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee~! This is sooooooo fun!!!" Squall said joyously as he and Quistis rollerbladed down the road.

Suddenly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The two of them were ambushed by *gasp!!!* two Bite Bugs!!!!!!!!!!!

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Giant bugs of EVIIIIIIL!!!!!!!" Squall said darkly insane.

"O_o Okaaaaaay..." Quistis said, looking from Bite Bug #1 to Bite Bug #2 to Squall Leonhart, "There aren't supposed to be any monsters on the road/path thingy..." She shrugged, "Anyway, it's time for the enemy to eat MY WHIP!!!"

"Squall! To use your Gunblade, press the... action button ^_^ I mean, to do extra damage, press R1, okay?" Quistis said.

"Okaaay..." Squall looks at his Gunblade for a few minutes. Then looks back at Quistis. "And how to I do that exactly?"

"Hmm... nevermind..." Quistis said and it was her turn to attack. "Muahahahaha! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY SUPER WHIP!!!"

"-_- Quistis, you haven't even upgraded it once..."

"Shut UP!!!!" Quistis screamed and used her whip to kill BOTH of the Bite Bugs at one go and she also managed to knock Squall out.

"Remind me NEVER to piss a girl off when she's having PMS... XP"

Quistis grinned her head off, ignoring Squall's comments. "Man, I DO kick ass!!!!!!!!" she shouted.

Game screen: Quistis gained 2 EXP, Squall gained 0 EXP (coz he's dead)... Quezacotl learned Boost! Shiva learned Boost!

Phoenix Down used on Squall...

Squall: YAY!!! XD Back to health again!!!

Back to da game... Squall and Quistis were breakdancing to the Fire Cavern... on rollerblades... O_o

On the way, both of them Draw Blizzard spells from Glacial Eye's (floating jellyfishes, as Squall calls them) and Fastitocalon-F's (Orange bird-fishes, as Quistis calls them) to use at the Fire Cavern later if they are hot and are in need of an air conditioner...

They enter..................... THE MATRIX - I mean the FIRE CAVERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quistis then proceeds to tell Squall all about Junctioning magic and all that crappy nonsense... Squall starts to get bored.

"OH JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! I KNOW ALL THIS STUFF ALREADY!!!!" Squall shouted.

"I STILL need to tell you about it though... now, you have to select-"

Squall frantically pressed the 'triangle button'. And how he did that, I don't know (and probably he doesn't either).

Quistis and Squall go up to the two Garden Faculties that awaited them at the cave entrance. Their ugly faces were hidden by that yellow... hat thingy that they wear... probably because they have big boils on their noses or something...

Then, they question Squall whether he is prepared and ready to enter the Matrix... I mean the Fire Cavern...

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!" Squall yells, pushing the guys out of his way and runnning into the cave without even getting the timer thing that he's supposed to choose.

The yellow hat people ask Quistis how long she and the 'hyper-boy there' would take to defeat the boss. Quistis chooses 10 minutes since she knows that this is the U.S Version of the game =)

After 5 minutes of walking (or rollerblading, which ever), they find a big crater in the floor.

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! It's a crater!!!" Squall said, eyeing the hole in the ground.

SUDDENLY!!!!!!!!!

"WHO THE HELL DARES TO DISTURB THE ALL POWERFUL IFRIT WHILE HE'S WATCHING TV?!?!?!" Came a booming voice from the crater.

"O_o It is I, Wonder Scrawl... er... WONDER SQUALL here to defeat you and get you to join my force against EVIIIIIIIL!!!!!!!!" Squall shouted back.

Suddenly, a big, mad looking wolf/dog/demon/monster/GF thingy rose out of the fire in the crater.

"Fine! I will join you in your... *quest* only if you defeat me and show me that you are worthy of my... *ahem* POWERFUL FIRE POWER!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!" Ifrit laughed, but that was before he choked on his saliva and started to cough...

"O_o Are you okay, Mister GF man???" Quistis asked.

"*cough* ANYWAY... PREPARE TO DIEEEEEEE!!!!!! *cough cough cough*" Ifrit screamed.

The screen goes all blurry and we see Squall and Quistis getting ready to kill... defeat Ifrit.

"Squall! Unleash the air-conditioners.................. I mean the Blizzard spells!!!!!!!!!" Quistis said quickly.

"Okies ^_-" Squall cast 2,000,000,000,000,000 Blizzard spells and used Shiva 1,000,000 times... Ifrit was dead in no time flat...

Review at will!!!!!!!!!!!!! To be continued.....