Thanks all you guys who liked this for letting me know, I hope I don't disappoint you too much as we move along. I really don't have an explanation for why things go the way they go, they just do because I'm kinda nuts, so whenever you find something that doesn't go with cannon, just remember, I'm the person writting Spike/Xander and Methos/Richie! I, as a rule, don't make sense. Sorry...
---Chapter three---
"Oh, God, will you stop brooding and come down for dinner?" the female voice came clean and loud through the massive wooden door, reminding him that locking it was no use if she wanted to be heard
"I don't dine" he barely articulated, hoping she would go but knowing she wouldn't
"But we do, Angel, and we want you to be there with us instead of here, brooding... you've been doing that all day, you can take a little break from it and let us all see your whiny little face"
Of course, he knew she wouldn't go. "Cordelia, I'm really not in the mood" he insisted, suspecting it would be of little use if she had really made up her mind to get him out of the room
"Fine, Angel, you win" she replied, but the prospect was too good for him to believe it "I'll just get Gunn to break the door open, and then we'll have dinner here with you, in your room" her voice pierced through his ears, and of course, she would do that unless he went out.
"Okay, you win Cordy" he whispered, and slowly walked to the door, knowing full well she wouldn't go anywhere until he opened it.
"Good choice" she congratulated him, planting a soft little kiss on his lips, as he opened the door "C'mon, the food is going to get cold... and don't think you'll get away from me another night without telling me what the matter with you is... this time" she sighed as she grabbed hold of his hand and carried him downstairs
--o--
Right on the sensitive spot, Methos thought as he saw the boy get a flushed face after his comment. Truth of the matter, Spike had not once mentioned the boy's name during their conversation the night before, nor had he made any clear reference to him during their talk. Still, after 5000 years, he was quite a good judge when it came to implied connotations, and the way the boy had greeted the vampire last night, altogether with his comments –which proved he indeed knew of Spike's nature- suggested that this was the person the vampire had grown attached to.
"Are you meeting Spike here?" he asked Xander after a respectful silence intended to put the boy at ease again
"Maybe later..." he retorted at once, a bit nervous still, and perhaps a bit tipsy from the beer he obviously did not consume usually "I don't know what you two were talking about last night when I arrived, but he was really open with me this morning, you know? He's been living in my place for a while, and somewhat we get along, but we never really talk. However, last night when you left he kind of made it obvious to me that he wanted to talk, so, you know, this morning when he woke up I started asking him to tell me what was wrong... and... and, he did. You know. That's weird. He's not the talkie kind..."
"Maybe he is, but he's not used to people actually listening to him..." Methos interrupted the boy, who looked more and more nervous by the minute "It's great that he's got you, because he sure seems one guy who needs to be understood"
"Yeah, I know..." Xander said after a minute's silence "He's not really half as bad as he seems... sometimes I just wish people would stop treating him like he's guilty of everything that is wrong in the world..." he paused, and asked the bartender for another beer "He may not be the nicest guy around... well, he's not nice at all..." he corrected himself, bringing a smile to Methos' lips "But he's been through a lot, and you know, things that happen to you can really turn you into something you don't really want to be..."
"I'll drink to that" Methos exclaimed as he finished his drink
--o--
Well, sure as hell this hadn't been his usual day. Until last night he had felt so alone, so empty... He had had people he liked, and some of them mildly liked him back. But today he had realized he had a friend.
He had spent months living with Harris, mostly been cynical around the clock, and usually making fun of the boy's innate silliness. He had heard his problems and his sorrows one and a million times, at first really annoyed that he had to put up with that in exchange for shelter and blood, and then eventually growing used to it, even sympathizing with the boy. But today had been more than he had ever expected... it had been more than he even thought he deserved.
Harris had listened to him! Truth be known, he had already started finding a scary comfort in knowing of the boy's deepest thoughts and feeling, like no other of his friends knew, but he had never even imagined Xander might want to hear his. He was the bad guy, right? The soul-less, evil vampire, who was not accepted as a part of the team, but acted rather as a war machine... kill the bad guys, but can't and celebrate afterwards.
It had crossed his mind at first that Xander was just acting out of politeness, asking what was wrong with him without really wanting to know. But then Xander was never polite... that was his charm, in a way. He was rude and goofy, and spoke up his mind without considering the repercussions. But there was more to it than the scoobies acknowledged.
He liked that Xander, the Xander that from time to time said wise things, the same one that had given him advise that day, and had intently listened to all he had had to say, making all the right connections, and getting to all the right conclusions. He might not have a 130 IQ, or super-strength, or knowledge of demons and black arts, but he surely knew something that was more important that all of that; he knew people.
If you don't stop that line of thought, you're gonna end up thinking the guy's cute, he laughed, slightly uncomfortable with the way Xander's trust impacted on him. Been emotional about things, like he was been now, had resulted bad for him in the past, more than once. He had gotten hurt, and he wished it had only been physically.
Almost without realizing it, he had walked into the Bronze. It was crowded, and more teenagers than he liked to see at once were dancing around and chatting animatedly as he pushed pass them towards the bar. He spotted the stranger from the night before, and when he got close enough he realized he was having a conversation with Xander. Suddenly he felt the urge to run away from the place, but the absurdity of the feeling made him grin.
Without slowing his paces he approached them, dismissing that unexplainable anxiety he suddenly felt. He was surprised to overhear a part of the talk before the men noticed him.
"You know, Adam" Xander was saying, sounding somewhat like he had something inside of his mouth that prevented him from speaking properly "As scary as it sounds, I'm starting to feel closer to Spike than to my friends..."
Spike's heart would have stopped at that, if it had been beating in the first place. He hadn't even realized he had come to an abrupt halt, and was not moving anymore, when suddenly the stranger looked up and spotted him.
"Speaking of the devil..." he grinned, and Xander immediately turned around, his eyes immediately resting on Spike's for a split second before he looked away.
No running away, then. It took all his strength to push away the unpleasant sensation that had come over him, but he managed to do it successfully before reaching the two guys, so that by the time he was close enough to greet them he had regained his bad-ass composure.
"You two kids had fun without me?" he asked casually, taking the stool at the stranger's side, for some reason uncomfortable with the though of sitting next to Xander
"Define fun" the stranger, Adam, grinned as he indicated the Harris kid and a few empty beer bottles "It was a mistake to think that he could keep up with me... you should take him home before he starts throwing up again"
"But I just got here!" Spike complained childishly, only to take a good look at Xander and realize he really needed to go home. He had never seen Xander drunk before, not to mention this drunk.
"It's ok, Spike, you don't have to leave..." Xander said in his unfamiliar drunkard manner, as he tried to stand up on his own with little success.
"Oh, c'mon you wanker! I'll take you home!" Spike sighed as he walked to Xander and helped him steady himself "See you later, Adam" Spike told the man, who raised his beer as a toast while they walked away
--o--
"It's okay, Spike, you don't have to leave" he said, his voice sounding incredibly stupid even to himself. He tried to stand up and leave, aware in some level that his drunkenness must be bothering Spike, and would eventually ruin his night. If you can only go out at night, it's not fair that a drunken kid ruins it for you.
"Oh, c'mon you wanker! I'll take you home!" Spike exclaimed, putting his arm around Xander's shoulders to help him walk "See you later, Adam" he said as he walked him out and threw him into the first cab they came across.
The taxi was a nightmare come true until Spike realized he must be feeling sick and opened his window. The fresh air in his face made him feel a little bit better, or at least not any more like his guts were coming up to his mouth. He could almost feel Spike's eyes resting on him, watching him. He had no idea how he looked, but he was sure it wasn't anything like alright, since his head was spinning and he had already puked twice, Adam holding his forehead while he knelt in front of the toilette.
When the car pulled over it shocked him, even in his improved yet still bad state of drunkenness, that Spike pulled some bills from his own pocket and paid the cabby. Then the vampire helped him out of the vehicle, and putting his arm around him in the same manner as before helped him to the door, opening it carefully not to make any noises that would awaken anyone.
When they got to the bedroom Xander at once tried to go to the bed, but Spike stopped him and instead helped him sit in the couch which served as his own bed.
"You don't wanna lay down, Harris, believe me" he told him as left the room, only to come back an instant later with a bottle of water "You don't have to drink it now, just wait until you feel like it" he said as he sat next to him in the couch, amazingly nothing like mockery in his tone.
After a few minutes, when he started feeling a little better, he looked up to find the vampire staring at him with a concerned look in his eyes. Just seeing the way he was now reminded Xander of his earlier thought about how Spike did not seem monstrous and soul-less as Angelus had. Not even Angel, soul in and all, had ever had eyes so full of humanity as the blonde's.
"Stop looking at me like you want a shag" Spike hissed, obviously uncomfortable with his staring "That's the second time in twenty-four hours that I catch you looking at me like that, and believe me, you don't want me acting on it"
He looked away immediately, deeply embarrassed, the heat rising to his face letting him know that he had flushed. He was still too drunk to think whether he was embarrassed for staring, of for been caught while doing it. "You're a pig, Spike" he said, his words much more discernible after the ride home "And you were staring too"
"Yeah, well, I didn't say I didn't want a shag"
--o--
"Stop looking at me like you want a shag. That's the second time in twenty-four hours that I catch you looking at me like that, and believe me, you don't want me acting on it" he said without even thinking, instantly regretting that he had uttered those words.
It was true that he had already caught Xander staring in a very similar way, earlier that day. It was also true that, unlike most drunk people, the boy looked even beautiful in his state, his gestures those of a sleepy person rather than a drunkard. But his exclamation had come out all on itself, and he hadn't even thought about such a thing before the moment he spoke those despicable words.
"You're a pig, Spike" Xander murmured, his pronunciation denoting the alcohol was slowly wearing out "And you were staring too" he added after a brief pause, his face deeply blushed.
"Yeah, well, I didn't say I didn't want a shag" he responded, immediately hoping the boy was drunk enough not to remember that in the morning "Maybe it's time you go to bed, so we can get some sleep... I'm tired, and you're in my couch" he said, hoping the sarcasm in his voice would erase the previous statement, as he pulled Xander to his feet and helped him to the bed, barely holding his arm, since he was already walking better by then.
Once he helped him sit in bed, he turned back to his couch without even looking back, somewhat afraid that his thoughtless comments might have ruined the relationship they had, which he had grown to appreciate very much of late. He was reticent when he heard Xander calling his name, and he would have gladly let it pass if the boy hadn't called again.
"What?" he asked as he turned to face him, bad-ass mode on. However, it wore off as soon as he heard the reply;
"Come here... I want to talk, I don't want you to be mad at me" Xander said, officially the first time in a long time that someone even cared if Spike was angry "You're my best friend..."
That did it. He knew Xander was the person he felt more attached to in the world right now, but the idea that Harris felt the same way about him made him put down all his defenses, and he just headed back towards the bed and sat next to him.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable... I know you get all asshole-like when you're pissed" Xander apologized, although he didn't look at him while he spoke "I don't know what's wrong with me, Spike. I've always known you were hot, you know, for women" he hurried to explain "I just don't know when I started thinking you were hot"
"You're just drunk, Harris. You'll be back to hating me in the morning" he said soothingly, not really sure if he meant to convince the boy, or himself
"I wasn't drunk this morning Spike, and when I stared at you in the morning I felt exactly as I felt a minute ago"
"Which is?" he asked, once more regretting his words at the same time he finished saying them. However, he didn't have much time to dwell on it, as hardly a blink of an eye after he had spoken he found Xander's lips tentatively caressing his own.
Oh my God, was all that came to mind as he felt suddenly urged to respond to that shy kiss, brushing Xander's lips with his own reassuringly as he slid a hand around the boy's waist.
At first he though Xander would freak out at once and pull away, but soon he realized that was not going to happen. In the same insecure fashion, the boy opened his lips and timidly caressed Spike's with his tongue. That was all it took. Suddenly they were kissing openly, Xander's tongue exploring his mouth with a hunger that matched his own, their hands helplessly roaming around each other's bodies.
All conscious thoughts were vanished as they gave up to the moment, sliding closer to one another until their legs were interwoven and their chests were tightly pressed together in a passionate embrace, their mouths battling incessantly as the human's breath became labored. It took all the willpower he had left to break the kiss, gasping for unnecessary breath as he stared into Xander's eyes, inflamed with the same passion as his own.
"I can't do this, Xander" he said, pulling away from his partner's arms "I'm taking advantage of you... you're gonna regret this in the morning"
"It is morning already" was all the other man could reply as he pulled the vampire back into his arms "But I understand" he continued, strangely sobered after the adrenaline rush of the moment before "Would you sleep with me, at least? Just hold me..." he asked, his eyes begging when the blonde looked up to meet his gaze "I want you to hold me"
--o--
Today was presumably going to be a good day, he thought as he stirred in bed and realized that, for once, he was up early. That would leave him time to take a proper shower and shave carefully. Even if it healed instantly, he wasn't much fond of cutting himself; it itched unpleasantly.
As he drank his morning coffee he read the news and checked his email, pleased to find word from Joe, confirming he would arrive around noon. There was also a long email from Mac, telling him in detail of everything that went on in Seacouver, about the dojo becoming quite a trendy spot, and about Joe leaving him in charge of his bar while he was gone to visit him. The highlander's words were friendly and spontaneous, as much as he could tell, and it made him happy to see the distance he had put between them had not been misinterpreted.
He made it to campus some twelve minutes before his first class, actually carrying something in his hands for once, and in quite good spirits. The thought of passing by the library to say hello to Rupert seemed like a good idea, but he decided against it when he noticed the slayer and her redheaded friend were heading there. He preferred to be discreet and leave them to their own business.
He decided then to just head to his classroom and wait there until all his students arrived, which should be interesting for a change. Hopefully someone might have a question or two about last class, and he would pass time that way until it was time to start the lecture. However, all his plans and positive thoughts were dismissed as he felt the presence of another immortal. Right then, his young secretary ran towards him;
"Mr. Pierson, I knew you wouldn't drop by the office before your first class, so I came here to look for you..." she said as she made a great effort to bring air into her lungs, obviously agitated from the run "You have a new student, his situation here is rather irregular, his uncle worked everything out so he could start immediately and don't lose this semester, and he specifically required that he was placed in your class... I have his file back at the office if you want it"
"Thanks, April, I'll just take a look at it later..." he responded as nicely as he could, amused at how exited this girl seemed to be about her job. If his students were half as responsible as her, he wouldn't be so constantly tempted to make their semester a living hell.
She smiled and went back the way she had come, obviously proud of how good a secretary she was. However, he had already known he had a new student, and was not really thrilled at the idea. Having an immortal as a student was very much against his rules of been inconspicuous, and he just hoped the other immortal was really young, and interested in learning rather than hunting for his head.
As he entered the classroom he immediately spotted his new student. He knew him, and a sigh of relief escaped his lips as he realized he was in no real danger. Unless the guy had gone nuts since they had met, but it was hardly possible. And even if the guy had lost his mind, he was no real adversary for 5000 years of experience, never mind he was rather out of practice of late. Besides, he had a quite formed idea of how he had ended up in his class.
Another ten students were already there as well, socializing with each other, and they all looked rather surprised to see him that early, and carrying books. Rather than surprised, most of them looked terrified. Well, he knew he had been rather hard on the kids, but since his good mood was returning he decided to give them a soft treatment for once, and let them get away without research work.
The rest of his students didn't take long to show up as well, and he was pleased to start his class right on schedule, for a change, realizing he would have more time than usual to pick at the kid's brains. To improve even more his already good mood, he realized the students were starting to get it, and voluntarily offered opinions on the subjects he treated, and presented satisfactory material to complement his lecture.
--o--
She had the first hours of the morning free because Professor Nichols' mother had died and he had gone to Los Angeles for the funeral. Willow and Buffy had just left for their European History class, which Willow both loved and hated. She was constantly speaking about how great Mr. Pierson was, and how much he seemed to know about everything, and how he seemed to appreciate her work. However, she was also very scared of him in a way, and that morning in particular she had been very nervous after learning about how he had walked into the library the day before, when Buffy had been joking about killing him.
After she had left the library along with the girls, and wished Willow the best of lucks in her class, she had planned to go get some breakfast, which they had missed, but decided to put that off when she saw Xander walking around the halls, looking both confused at the foreign building and pretty nervous for some reason she ignored.
"Tara!" he called out when he saw her, quite effusively even though they were not actually close friends
"Hi Xander" she said as he came closer "Buffy and Willow just went to class a minute ago"
"Great" he sighed, which seemed rather confusing to her "Actually, I wanted to talk to you... can we go somewhere?"
"Sure" she accepted, hoping she could help with whatever was keeping the boy restless "Come on, let's get out of the hallways... it's kind of insane in here" she offered, glad that he seemed to like the idea, and led him out of the building.
They walked in silence, Xander toying with his fingers nervously all the time, without saying a word, until they were far enough from the noisy crowd of students. When they found a picnic table they sat, and she waited until he finally decided to talk;
"I just wanted to talk to you, because, you know, you're Willow's..." he said awkwardly, obviously not comfortable with the subject "Well, you know, you're dating her..."
"Yes, we really like each other" she politely replied. She had noticed Xander had not been really comfortable with the idea of Willow dating a girl, but she had just dismissed it as the normal concern of a friend who thought she might be making a mistake, and the boy had seemed to adapt just fine to their relationship in the end.
"Yeah, I know" he hurried to assure her "I just wanted to ask you, you know... Have you always been a... I mean, have you always liked girls... in that way?" he stammered
"Well, since I was pretty young..." she replied, although she was not very sure where this whole questioning was going.
"Okay, but how did you know that's what you wanted... I mean, how you made sure you were not mistaken..." he insisted, obviously unable to find the words he meant to use. The only logical explanation to this conversation was that Xander thought Willow was making a mistake by going out with her, but it didn't really sound like that either.
"You think Willow is making a mistake?" she tentatively asked
"This is not about Will" he answered, all of a sudden sounding really self-confident "It's about me"
"Oh" was all she could say, more than surprised to hear that; she must have blushed, because her face felt really hot at the time. The thought had never even occurred to her.
"Please, just say something..." he all but begged, all apparent self-possession gone
"I don't know what to say..." she whispered, embarrassed that she had missed his point from the beginning when it had been rather obvious "Like, is there a boy you feel attracted to?"
"Shit, no. I mean, yes. I mean, attracted to is gross understatement, considering that I had his tongue down my throat last night!" he snapped
"Oh..." was again he best choice for a reply.