This took waaaaay longer than I had expected. I haven't done a story in ages… much less a chapter. But yeah, anyway, dunno if I've lost my touch of humour… We'll see! -smiles- Right now my brother's playin' Run! Escape! (Runescape) on the computer beside me… AnyhOOOO, welcome backie to FFVIII that was not meant to be!

-

After our hero, Squally-Poo, had saved his game using the ever colourful atom-thingy, he walked out of his dorm and towards the 1F Lobby he went!

Squall meets Quistis at the Lobby. He's quite shocked as she's not wearing her SeeD uniform but some costume from Counter Strike.

"Eh, Professor – I mean 'INSTRUCTOR'. Why are you wearing a counter terrorist uniform? O.o You look weird…" Squall said as he walked up to her.

Quistis looked down at herself. "Oh, uh, this? I'm auditioning for a role in a movie called SWAT. Ain't that so super-cool?"

"SWAT?" Squall exclaimed, "I thought that movie came out years ago! Assuming that the world of FFVIII HAS movie cinemas…"

"No, no… not SWAT, dear boy, I'm starring in a movie called SWATTY. I'm supposed to be part of an insect exterminating team!" she grinned, "Whoopiee!" Quistis pranced around. She then managed to trip and fall while stepping all over her uniform…

"I'M OKAY!" she squealed, picking herself up.

"I never asked…" Squall replied bluntly.

Quistis frowned as she dusted herself. "Yeah well, oh… crap! I was supposed to stick to the script wasn't I? I guess I blew it… The author's gonna' kill me…"

"Don't you worry, my instructor! I shall walk away and come back so as to stick to the script! Then we'll start again from there! Got it?" Squall smiled.

Squall walked away and in 5 mins, came walking back.

"Squall! Yoo hoo! Over here, my pet!" Quistis called, "I'll be 'incidentally' announcing the squad assignments for the exam now." Quistis announced, 'oooooh, sounds so much like the SWATTY script!' she told herself.

"Let's see…? You'll be with… Zell Bitch… ummm… I meant ZELL DINCHT!. Quite a lively fellow if I say so myself." Quistis sweatdropped and thought to herself, 'This is one lame script… if I say so myself…'

Squall was wide-eyed with shock, "LIVELY? Zell Bit-Dincht, LIVELY? I laugh in your face, Trepe, he's not just lively! He's a mad, rabid monkey with a cheap Bahamut look-alike tatoo on his butt!"

"Face… not butt, Squall, face." Quistis corrected him.

"So what? Can't I switch members! I can't stand being around with that-that-that monkey freako!" Squall screamed in horror.

"I'm afraid not, Squall. If you can't stand being around him, then SIT being around him okay?" Quistis replied, irritated, "Besides, he's not that bad, once you get to know him."

"Oh yeah! He has this evil smile that makes your skin crawl!" Squall complained.

"Yeah, yeah. Oh, look! Here he comes! Over here, Zell!" Quistis shouted, waving at a blonde guy.

Zell decides to show off, doing stunt aerobatics and somersaulting all the way to where Squall (who glares and him) and Quistis were standing, gaping in wonder and awe. He lands on his two feet flawlessly and the camera pans to the side of his big head. He smiles… EVILLY, showing his white teeth and acting all…. EVIL.

Squall shudders… Quistis smiles but it falters when she sees how creepy Zell's smile was.

Zell spots Squall. "Whoa… I'm with YOU!" he squeals in delight, rubs his hands on his pants and extends it towards Squall.

Squall flinches. "Me no gonna shake your hand! You just wiped it on your butt!" And he starts to inch away from the creepy guy.

"Well, yeah, anyway-" Zell began but was suddenly cut short when…

"HEY ZELL! I'M LIKE, GONNA BE STARRING IN THE MOVIE SWATTY!" Quistis intercepted.

"Shut it, instructor. I'm trying to talk to my best buddy here." Zell turns back to Squall but Squall was no where in sight. "Whadda heck! Where'd he goooooooo!"

Sound of someone clearing his throat. "Down here Zell…" came a voice from the floor.

Zell looked down. "Oh." Squall was tying his shoe laces. "ANYWAY! You hate Seifer don't you? Heard he successfully sent you straight to the infirmary? Must've been some fight! He made you into a Harry Potter look-alike!" And Zell admires the scar on Squall's forehead.

Squall slapped his forehead in irritation, resulting in him screaming in pain. "Oh, DEAR GOD THAT HURT!" And he proceeds to jump around on the spot in agony. After 20 seconds of pure screaming and skipping around, Squall glared a Zell and said dangerously, "We weren't fighting. We were training."

"Betcha' he doesn't think so… Ya know, he's just a big pain in the ass. All you have to do is ignore him--- HEY! This script sucks!" Zell then proceeds to shred his script book that he had been reading from all along.

"Anything that has to do with that Seifer-goon is none of my freakin' business!" Squall bellowed.

Quistis stared at Squall, "Excuse moi? None of your business? I oughta' kill you right here, right now!"

"Bring it on!" And Squall draws his gunblade.

Zell just stares. But not at the big gunblade that Squall just withdrew but at the approaching figures of... dun dunn DUNNN! Seifer, Fujin and Raijin. Zell starts gibbering like a mad monkey and silently pointing at Seifer as though he were a rabid dingo. "SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!"

Squall and Quistis turn to look at Seifer.

"Ah, here comes your squad leader!" Quistis said cheerfully, pointing at Seifer.

"WHAT!" Zell and Squall scream together in unison.

Quistis grins her ass off and pats Zell on the back, "Don't worry, he's a nice guy. He'll take goooood care of you and Squall."

Seifer snorts as Fujin and Raijin laugh.

"Well, Seifer, good luck with these kids!" Quistis said, turning to look at the grey trenchcoat-wearing blonde.

"Awwwwwww... I hate it when people wish me luck, Trepe. Luck is for LOSERS," and he makes the 'L' sign with his fingers.

"Awright then, Seifer. Good luck!"

Seifer mutters to himself as darkly as he could before commanding Fujin and Raijin to add "Instructor Trepe to the list."

"What's the list?" Zell asked in wonder.

"It's a long line of people waiting to have their heads shoved down the toilet bowl," Raijin replied for him.

"AFFIRMATIVE."

Seifer nodded at Fujin's confirmations, "In other words, you're going to DIE- I mean you're going down, Trepe."

Quistis took no heed of Seifer's warnings and continued speaking, "You're all assigned to Squad B-HGFDS. I shall be the instructor in charge. MUAHAHAHAHAHA," Quistis laughed insanely and darkly before adding, "oh yeah, and teamwork is important, so work as a team, dudes!"

Seifer buffed his nails on his shirt and said nonchalantly, "Teamwork? What teamwork? I don't see no team!"

Zell tries to resist the urge to punch him and send him flying to the moon just as the headmaster appears, gliding along like a fat ghost.

"ARGHHH! It's the ghost of ROBIN WILLIAMS!" Squall yells in terror and runs around in circles.

Seifer nearly tried to behead the 'ghost' with his gunblade while Fujin and Raijin ran away screaming.

Headmaster Cid shuts them all up. Fujin and Raijin are no longer in sight.

"NOW," the headmaster began, "I shall fill you in on the details of the SeeD exam and bore you all to death. WAHAHAHA!"

"..." Squall, Seifer, Quistis and Zell were speechless.

After 20 minutes of the headmaster's lecture, they were free to go.

"WHEEE! At LAST! Free of that madman Cid who talks waaaaaaaaay too much!" Seifer said, feeling like he'd never be sane again after listening to the headmaster's crappy talk.

Scene cuts to Seifer, Zell and the rest entering a car very conveniently parked at the carpark.

-Inside the car-

"Woohoo!" Zell cried, "Do I get to drive this baby?"

Quistis shook her head violently, recalling a vivid memory of her in a car with Zell at a million miles per hour. "Seifer, you take the wheel."

Zell looked hurt but Squall looked outraged.

"SO! You're taking favourites now, huh? Is Seifer the Instructor's pet?" Squall spat vehemently, "Or do you just hate anyone whose name starts with an 'S' and ends with a 'quall'!" and Squall breaks down and cries like a baby.

"Yo, chill man!" Quistis said, "Besides, we're already there. While you were busy screaming your head off, Seifer teleported the whole vehicle to Balamb Town."

Squall looked up. And indeed they were already at the town.

"Now what?" Zell asked as they climbed out of the car.

"Now, we wait..."

"For what!"

"For the signal to run into the ship that'll bring us to Dollet."

"Okay."

-

Author- DONE and DONE.