(4-3-05) Sorry I didn't post this earlier, I meant to, then I got distracted... I've started what I believe is Chapter 22... Hey, I have 314 reviews! At this rate, I'll have 628 by chapter 24! Isn't that awesome? Maybe this story will hit 1,000? Wouldn't that be AWESOME? Let's make that our goal! Somewhere between 600 and 1,000 reviews! (Greedy, aren't I?)
Carri- Sorry for not translating the Japanese. Just because I felt like writing up a translation dictionary for every term I could find that was used so far, look at this... I'm posting the chapter late... 3:30 AM on the morning when time changes... The dictionary is at the end of this chapter... It's longer than I expected... I thought I hadn't used very much Japanese...
Guess what! The computer is just as slow as me! That's freakin' amazing! I right-clicked to open something in a new window, totally forgot I'd done it, then remembered a few minutes later just before it popped up. The computer forgot it was supposed to be opening something in a new window, and so did I! I feel special now! It remembered as fast as I did! THAT MEANS I'M SMART! (granted, for some reason my computer's being screwy and it took at least a minute to open the window, but hey, don't be a went blankey on my party...)
Arano Honou- Sure you can put my story on your C2 thingy... Even though I'm still not real sure what the C2 thing is... But if it's extra advirtisement? That's always welcome! Exspecially with my new greedy goal of 600 to 1,000 reviews! (and btw, "exspecially" is not a typo.)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Happy New Year!
New Year's Eve came surprisingly quickly, just proving that when you can't wait for something, it doesn't always take it's sweet time getting around to happening. There was no school that week, and Hiei got a surprising two days off from Kyoukan (and he'd practically had to kill the guy just to get that).
With the few days before New Year's Eve, Shadow decorated her downstairs, but the upstairs remained its very own typical self. Hiei wandered into the kitchen and blinked as he found her baking a cake.
"What's the cake for?"
"Party," she answered shortly.
"Obviously. Why?"
"It's cake! Everybody likes cake!"
Hiei shrugged. "Okay."
"What else should I do?"
"I don't know. I know even less about ningen customs than you and you know it."
Shadow paused. "I think I know." She smiled. "I'll be needing your help, koishii."
And so came the evening of New Year's Eve. The six of them were gathered in Shadow's living room. The hostess was in her typical bounce-off-the-walls state of energy and her normal state of sanity (meaning, she was currently insane). It was due to this that Kurama suggested moving the party outside.
"Outside!" Shadow's face lit up. "You mean, in the dark? Where the grass grows?"
"Yes..."
"And there's trees and birds and frogs?"
"FROGS!" Eclipse, who had been under the couch (for some unexplained reasonprobably looking for some kind of interdimensional portal leading to The Land of Pink Sunshinyness), came lunging out and latched onto Shadow's head. "WHERE?"
"OUTSIDE!" Shadow cheered, thrusting her fist into the air valiantly.
"LET'S GO!"
"YES, LET'S!" She paraded out of the room, knocking Eclipse off her head in the doorway. The girl landed on the floor with a loud thud, which Shadow, of course, ignored in her haste to get to The Land Of Outside. Everybody else stepped over the twitching girl without a care.
They got outside to find Shadow no where in sight.
"Where'd she go?" Kuwabara asked.
"Good one, fox. You sent her outside and she wandered off in the two seconds she was unsupervised," Hiei sighed.
"She's like a little kid!" Yusuke complained. "How are we supposed to have a fun New Year's party when we have to babysit a two-year-old?"
"Well, Yusuke, that's the thing. We don't have to babysit Shadow," Kurama said, an evil glint in his eye. "We just give her her favorite toy, and, like any small child, she's content for hours."
"And what would that be? Fire? I don't think that's a good idea, Kurama."
"Fire? No, not fire, Yusuke."
Shadow came bounding out of the woods like a hyper puppy dog, running like a maniac, her eyes wide and psychotic.
"We give her her Hiei-kun and all is well," Kurama said, grinning evilly. He pulled the others out of the way, leaving a startled and confused Hiei standing directly in Shadow's path. She lunged and tackled him.
"Ko-i-SHIIIIII!" she squealed, nuzzling against his chest. He sighed and frowned up at Kurama, who smiled sweetly and waved, then strolled off to start a fire in the fire pit nearby. Yusuke and Kuwabara grinned at him, then went after the redhead. Shadow had stopped nuzzling and was now just resting on him contentedly, like a small child with its favorite teddy bear. Hiei looked at her and sighed. Not long ago he would have torn somebody apart for bumping him on a crowded street. Now he had a young girl using his chest as a pillow... and he didn't mind.
But she was the only exception, he reminded himself.
A fire flared up in the pit. Eclipse had joined them, of course with the materials for s'mores. Shadow's nose twitched, and her dreamland content smile faltered. She sat up abruptly, looking a bit dazed, then saw Hiei... then the fire... then the s'mores... Her mind screamed in horror. Decisions, decisions...
"Shadow! Come, join us! Have a s'more!" Kurama called. The girl bit her lip, looked at Hiei, then lunged at the section of tree trunk on which all the s'more ingredients were sitting. She stole them all and went back to Hiei.
"Problem solved!" she chirped. He just sighed.
"Hey! You stole our s'more stuff!" Eclipse complained.
"Yep!" Shadow replied cheerfully, clutching the food to her chest like it was precious... Vital to survival, you know...
"What time is it?" Yusuke asked.
"Eight o'clock."
"Four hours until the New Year!"
"Four hours..." Shadow mumbled. She looked at the s'more supplies. "Hiei, these won't last four hours."
"No, they won't, Shadow."
"Well... What're we gonna do when it's gone?"
"I don't know."
"I can think of a few things you two could do!" Yusuke called, waving.
"Really? What!" Shadow asked curiously. Yusuke snorted.
"Honestly, Shadow! Don't make him say them aloud!" Kurama said, covering Yusuke's mouth with his hand. Shadow grinned evilly.
"I just remembered something."
"It's the apocalypse!" Eclipse screamed, covering her head with her arms.
"Shut up! C'mon, Hiei." Shadow grabbed his hand and pulled him into the woods. Kuwabara let out a rather... un-masculine screech.
"What're they gonna do in there? Shouldn't somebody keep an eye on them!"
"They're not going to do anything like that, Kuwabara," Kurama said. "And believe me, if they were, they wouldn't do it in the woods on New Year's Eve when their friends are all over for a party which they are supposed to be hosting..."
"What makes you so sure?"
Kurama shrugged. "If they do, I'll know. Do you want to be informed?"
"No! You just said they wouldn't!"
"They won't! But in case they do"
"Kurama!"
"Yes?"
"What is wrong with you?"
"Wrong? With me? Nothing at all!"
"You haven't had any sake, have you?" Eclipse asked accusingly.
"If I did, it was because of Youko. And because those two did." He pointed at Yusuke and Kuwabara, who grinned innocently.
Eclipse sighed and dragged him off to the side. "Now, did you have any sake?"
"A bit."
"Why?"
"I told you: Youko."
"You really need to get ahold of your fox side. He might turn you into an alcoholic." She turned around, and the next thing she knew, pale arms were around her shoulders and Youko's face was peering down at hers, a grin on his face.
"You should know better, Eclipse. I wouldn't turn our dear friend Shuuichi into an alcoholic. It would disgrace me to share a soul with a good-for-nothing drunk."
Eclipse let out a shriek and pulled out of his grasp. "You! You just wanted to come and celebrate New Year's with us, didn't you! Aww, that's so sweet!"
The fox's eyebrow twitched.
"However, you're not welcome. RETURN, SHUUICHI MINAMINO!"
Youko's ear twitched. "Um, sure. I'll just go get him, I think I saw him go into the woods."
"Really? That's marvelous. You go get him and tell him to tell you that you need to stop whispering suggestions to him."
"Right, I'll, um... I'll do that, Eclipse." The fox vanished into the woods. Eclipse cheerfully skipped back to the fire.
"What was that all about?" Yusuke asked.
"I'm a sad, strange, confused little girl," Eclipse sighed, resting her chin on the heel of her hand and staring at the fire.
"Um..."
She looked around. "Hey, where'd Kurama go?"
Cue anime fall. Right into the fire. BOOMF!
Meanwhile, Youko was seeking out a certian pair of fire demons to spy on whatever mischief they had put their minds to. He found them quickly enough, and nearly fell out of his tree perch when he saw their current mischief.
Fireworks! Dozens, perhaps hundreds, of fireworks! Oh, this most certainly was not good. With the way Shadow had been acting... all small-childish... This was most certainly not good...
However, they were not concerned with the fireworks at the moment, he quickly realized. They were more interested in each other, and he supposed that was good, but also bad. When excited as such, some fire demons had a tendency to involuntarily raise their own body temperatures... And with their current surroundings... trees... fireworks... that was not good, not good at all...
Not good, break for air, break for air... C'mon, you little people, your lungs can't be that big!
And finally, they did have to break for air, and as much as Youko hated it, he had to interrupt their little session. It was actually pretty interesting to watch, but with the current fire hazards, he had a feeling that if they continued, there wouldn't be a whole lot left of him to ever watch them again.
He cleared his throat just as the couples' lips touched once more. They nearly jumped out of their skins. Suppressing laughter, Youko leapt to the ground next to them and knelt, getting as close to their level as he could without actually laying on the ground next to them.
"Pardon my asking, but why is she on top?" he questioned curiously, innocently, before their rage could overtake their surprise.
"Fox!" Shadow finally snapped, aiming a backhand punch at his face. He caught her wrist, smiling.
"It was just an innocent question, no need to get violent over it. What's with all these hanabi, anyway?"
"You're despicable, Youko Kurama," Hiei snarled, sitting up. "Get out of here."
"I meant no harm in asking," he said, grinning.
"Sure you didn't. What's wrong with you, anyway? You've just got to stick your nose where it doesn't belong, haven't you?" Shadow said.
"My nose? Really, I was just assuring my own survival. You guys were really getting into it there. If you'd accidentally set off all these hanabi, or worse, started a forest fire, I might have been torched right where I sat."
"Which was where?" Hiei snapped. Youko glanced around, then pointed to a nearby tree.
"That tree, third branch up, near the trunk..." He shrugged. "I probably could have got a better view of your activities from that tree over there, but"
"Go away. You're really bound and determined to screw up our relationship, aren't you?" Shadow accused. Youko shook his head.
"Not at all. I think Shuuichi's got his eye on somebody, no matter how much he denies it. I'd be best off leaving you alone and assisting him in his pursuit of her... She's appealing too... Though she never really caught my attention like Shadow." He shrugged yet again. "Oh well. Now, if you're going to lay in the woods making out some more and you want me to leave, just say so. But I believe your dear friend Eclipse might come looking for her precious s'mores soon."
"Leave," the fire demons said in unison.
"The fireworks are for midnight," Shadow said. "They're not going anywhere until then. The trees are important, they'll stay intact. Hiei and I actually get to have some time together for once since he doesn't have to work tonight or tomorrow, and we intend to use it to its fullest advantages. Now leave."
"Its fullest advantages, eh? You're not going to have sex, are you? I think she's a little young, Hiei, if you want my opinYikes! Okay, okay, I'm leaving! Jeez..." Had he been in his canine form, he'd have scurried off with his tail between his legs.
"Now... Where were we?" Shadow purred. Hiei smirked and flipped them over, pinning her on her back.
"I remember."
"Wasn't it the other way around?"
"Yes... But I think I like it better this way," he whispered. Any further words from the girl were silenced with his kiss.
After what seemed like only seconds, a voice brought the pair out of their happy little activities.
"Hey guys! Where are you? I want my s'mores back! Guys?"
Hiei sighed with annoyance, resting his head on Shadow's shoulder.
"Well," she muttered, "the fox did warn us."
"Damn him," Hiei said without any real anger. He brushed his lips across hers before he got up, then helped her to her feet. "Come on..."
They left the firework-filled clearing and intercepted Eclipse before she discovered the flammable surprise for later that night.
"There you are! Youko told me you'd be coming back this way sooner or later..." She peered around them curiously. "You guys didn't eat all my s'more stuff, did you?"
"No," Shadow sighed, holding the bags out to Eclipse with her free hand (the other hand, of course, was grasped tightly in Hiei's). "Take your precious s'more stuff."
"Yay!" She snatched it, clutching it protectively to her chest. "My precious," she hissed, stroking it for a second. Then she looked suspiciously at the fire demon couple. "What did you do to it!"
"Do? We didn't do anything to it!"
"What do you mean you didn't do anything to it? You don't steal my precious and then just dart off into the forest with no reason! Then you surrendered it so easily! You and your lover there poisoned it or something! It's artificial, isn't it! Artificial smores don't taste half as good as real ones!" She sniffed at the food suspiciously, keeping narrowed eyes trained on the confused couple. "I don't believe you." With that, she spun and ran back towards Shadow's house with an oddly animalistic galloping gait, shouting for Youko. When she burst into the yard with the smore ingredients clutched to her chest, she went straight to Youko and nearly tackled him into the fire.
"YOUKO! What did they do to it!"
"Huh?"
"My smores! They just gave them back so easily, they've got to be trying to kill me!"
Youko chuckled. "Smores are the least of their concerns at this moment, my dear girl."
"Bull!" She tossed the bags into his lap and crossed her arms. "I bet they kidnapped the real smores and these are just look-alikes! Aren't they! Smell them and tell me how fake they are!"
Youko sighed. "They're all real, Eclipse."
"SMELL THEM! WHAT GOOD'S A FOX NOSE DOING YOU IF YOU CAN'T FIND A GOOD USE FOR IT? LIKE SNIFFING OUT S'MORE IMPERSONATERS! SMELL THE S'MORES!"
"Honestly... Jeez, okay, I'm smelling the smores... See?" Youko opened the bags and sniffed at them each in turn, handing them back to Eclipse when he'd established their authenticity.
"You mean they're all real?"
"Yes."
"Those naughty little buggers didn't kidnap my s'mores?"
"Nope. Those are the real deal, Eclipse. Eat the s'mores and leave me alone."
Eclipse chirped happily and sat down next to Youko. She impaled a few marshmallows on a stick and held them over the fire, a childish smile on her face. Yusuke chuckled.
"Just like a little kid."
"No," Youko sighed. "Just like Shadow."
Eclipse screamed, dropping her stick in the fire. The marshmallows burst into flames. She gathered her wits in a split second and grabbed the stick off the ground, whipping around and pointing the flaming blobs of goo at Youko. "DO NOT SPEAK THAT SMORE-KIDNAPPING FIEND'S NAME IN MY PRESENCE!"
"But I thought we established she didn't kidnap your smores..." Yusuke said, confused.
"We did, but I need a reason to be angry at her when she comes back," Eclipse said casually, not removing her threat of a flaming marshmallow assault from under Youko's nose.
"If she comes back, rather," the fox muttered, extinguishing her scorched weapon with a puff of breath.
"If?"
"Yeah, where are they, anyway?" Yusuke asked. "You found them and came back, Eclipse found them and came back... and yet... Neither of them is back. Mighty suspicious if you ask me."
"Yes, mighty suspicious," Youko replied sarcastically. "I doubt if they both still have all their clothes on at this point."
"WHAT!"
Eclipse nearly choked on the burnt marshmallow ashes she was eating. "Why, that smore-kidnapping, Hiei-raping, dirty little stinker! I'll make her pay for what she did to those frogs!"
"Last time I checked, Eclipse, frogs play no part in sex. And I should know, I've enjoyed it countless times without any frogs involved."
"But the smore-kidnapper raped Hiei!"
Yusuke cleared his throat. "Disregarding Eclipse for the moment, what exactly were they doing when you found them, fox?"
"Do you really want to know?"
The two teenage boys leaned forward a bit, nodding in unison. Youko shrugged a bit and also leaned forward.
"They were making out very passionately on the forest floor, amongst the dirt and leaf litter."
"Ew... Hiei?"
"Yes, Hiei," said none other than Hiei himself as he walked out of the forest hand-in-hand with his beloved Shadow.
"Ew, Hiei! You're yucky!" Eclipse whined, attempting to fling marshmallow goo at him. It stayed quite well stuck to her fingers, and she spent the next ten minutes attempting to get it off, oblivious to all else.
"Shadow was on top," Youko whispered to Yusuke.
"Ew, Hiei!"
"What!"
"Never mind," the boy sighed, grabbing some marshmallows and a roasting stick.
"See, Yusuke knows when to shut up," Shadow said. "At least somebody around here is smart."
"Is that to imply I'm not?" Youko asked coldly.
"O' course not, dear Youko," Shadow replied with a smile, sitting next to him.
"You..."
"Oh, don't git yer panties in a bundle! No need to feel insulted! We all still love you... or at least, I know one of us does... I think..." Her eyes darted to Youko's left, then innocently moved up and she gazed at the stars. Hiei smirked and sat down next to his girlfriend. Youko stared at the creature on his left, as it wildly flung around its hand in pathetic attempts to get the marshmallow goo off. He sighed, looking at his friends smirking faces.
"Shuuichi has some taste in girls, hasn't he," he muttered under his breath (inaudible to everyone but Hiei and Shadow, who were closest), grabbing Eclipse's hand and wiping the goo off with a towel (yes, a responsible s'more maker is wise to keep moist towels and such around for hygiene reasons). She screeched and flung her arms around him.
"THANK YOU, O HOLY ONE!"
Youko blinked, a bit startled. Hiei chuckled. "See, she's not so bad, is she?"
"She's hugging me."
"Yeah, so? She called you 'O Holy One.' Surely that makes up for it?" Shadow said.
"You know he said our dear friend has a crush on Eclipse, right?" Hiei pointed out. Shadow blinked.
"Are you for real? And after all that denying, he was just being a liar like that lousy fox he keeps pent up in his brain!"
Youko cleared his throat. "So I'm a lousy fox, huh?"
"No, you're an absolutely wonderful person, Youko! Everybody loves and worships you and falls on their knees before you! For various reasons..."
Hiei gagged. "Shadow!"
"What? It's not like I ever would."
"Of course not. That's reserved for Hiei, right?" Youko retorted.
"Yeah! Jealous?"
Yusuke and Kuwabara screeched. "You give Hiei"
"DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE FOR THE SAKE OF A PG-13 RATING!"
"Oh, come on, we can say 'blowjob' and keep it at PG-13..." Yusuke scoffed. "One word isn't going to boost the rating."
"It could... A certain one word, when used frequently," Shadow reminded.
"Heylo! We aren't supposed to discuss the story aspects while we're in the story, you idiots!" Hiei snarled.
"Oh. Right! Pretend that didn't happen!"
"As I was saying..." Yusuke started, but Shadow threw a marshmallow at him. That in itself wouldn't have stopped him, but just as he flung up a hand to catch it, it burst into flames, courtesy of our dear friend Hiei. Thus, Yusuke closed his hand upon a searing blob of burning goo, which, of course, stuck to his skin and burned a large majority of it.
"Nice one, Hiei!" Youko admonished as Yusuke ran around screaming and waving his charred hand. And then he continued to sit there.
"So you care enough to reprimand him but not enough to do something about Yusuke's little problem?" Shadow asked. Kuwabara was now trying to help and only succeeded in tripping Yusuke and sending him face first into the ground. Youko shrugged.
"He's the famed and feared Reikai tantei Yusuke Urameshi, Raizen's heir, all that hoopla, isn't he? If he can't fix a little burnt hand problem, I have to wonder if he really deserves to be thought of oh-so-highly..."
Hiei blinked, then shrugged. "You've got a point." And he, too, sat back to enjoy the show. Shadow had disregarded the entire thing once she'd noticed all the smore supplies were currently ungaurded, as Eclipse was still hugging Youko. Actually...
Shadow leaned across Youko, leaving her cooking marshmallow unwatched as she examined Eclipse. The girl was rather relaxed... arms around Youko's waist... Asleep leaning on him?
"Wow, no way!" Shadow thought out loud. "And he's letting her!"
"Huh?"
Youko and Hiei glanced at her.
"Eclipse is sleeping with your shoulder as a pillow with her arms around you, you know," Shadow pointed out. Youko looked at the girl.
"Ew, she is..."
Shouts and screams of pain from Yusuke's last known position quickly distracted them, and they found the boycrippled hand or nomangling Kuwabara for getting in his way. Shadow burst into hysterical laughter and fell off her seat, accidentally sending her flaming marshmallows flying up into the air. They came down on Kuwabara's stomach, and he let out a girly scream and passed out, leaving the burning goo caked on his skin. It had burned through his shirt, which it quickly set on fire, and started burning clear off his body (of course, not leaving his skin unharmed). Yusuke, who'd finally settled down to pamper his crippled hand, saw this and screamed.
"SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT BURNS OFF HIS PANTS!"
"Holy Jesus!" Youko and Hiei both leapt into action. Kuwabara was shortly drenched from head to toe in ice water, which had also effectively awoken him to feel the pain Shadow's unintentional marshmallow assault had inflicted upon him.
"Hey, couldn't Hiei have just extinguished them with his powers?" Yusuke asked.
"Yeah, but this was more fun," Hiei replied, shrugging. "How's your hand?"
"You mean the one you CRIPPLED? Oh, it's just peachy for a CRIPPLE!"
"Hn. Your problem now." Hiei returned to sipping the hot chocolate Shadow had conjured up out of pseudospace while he and Youko were taking turns hosing Kuwabara's unconscious corpse with freezing water.
"Let me see your stupid 'crippled' hand," Youko said, grabbing Yusuke's wrist and pulling him to his feet.
"Ow ow ow!"
"Don't be a baby."
Ten minutes later...
(this would be equivalent to one of those cool little effects they use on TV shows where the next scene comes in and you're supposed to KNOW time passed because of the transition effect they used!)...
"There you go, Yusuke. Good as new," Youko said, patting Yusuke's now-bandaged hand.
"Ow!"
"Stop being a baby! You can't even feel the damn thing, I put so much numbing stuff on it!"
"Sorry sir."
"Pansy little girl! Yusuke's a pansy little girl!" Shadow sang.
"Shut up!"
"Guys?" Kuwabara whined from somewhere out of sight (no body cared enough to be looking at him, thus, out of sight). "Guys? I'm in a lot of pain here!"
"Be a man, Kuwabara! Tough it out!" Yusuke snapped. Youko stared.
"Hypocrite!"
The boy just grinned.
"Guys?" Kuwabara persisted. "Please!"
Over on yonder side of the fire, Hiei was sitting with his hot chocolate, and suddenly got a devilish grin on his face. He handed his mug to Shadow for safekeeping and grabbed some bandages, strolling over to Kuwabara and squatting next to him.
"Sure Kuwabara. I'll help you."
A typical girly scream of horror came from the orange-haired boy, and he was on his feet in a second.
"Actually, Hiei, I'm feeling tip-top! Never been better! What's a little burn? I think I'll just, uh, go and... Yeah." He ran inside crying like a little girl. Hiei just laughed.
"TIME CHECK!" Shadow cried. "TIME IS?"
Yusuke looked at his wrist. "It'sHey! Where's my watch!" His eyes went instantly to Hiei, the closest. He put his hands up in the air like an innocent.
"I was never close enough to take it."
"YOUKO KURAMA!"
The fox, already perched in a tree at the edge of the yard, flicked an ear. "Yes?"
"WHERE'S MY WATCH!" Yusuke shouted, right under Youko quite suddently.
"Ow! Gods, you don't need to yell like that, I'm right here... I don't know where your stupid watch is... AUGH!" Thud. Youko was on the ground with Yusuke's foot on his chest.
"I don't believe you. And you know what?"
"What?" he said timidly.
"I'd bet anything you stole it."
"You gonna frisk me? 'Cause if you do"
"ECLIPSE! COME HERE!"
Youko's eyes widened. The girl was at Yusuke's side in a second.
"Yes?"
"Frisk him." He pointed at Youko, who looked up at the girl timidly, twitching his ears cutely.
"Frisk? For what? He didn't do anything." She skipped away.
"YOUKO!" Yusuke whined.
"What? I didn't steal your watch. You couldn't afford anything I'd be interesting in anyway."
"HIEI! COME HERE AND FRISK YOUKO!"
There was a girly shriek from Hi... Kuwabara. Inside the house. Hiei, on the other hand, merely looked blandly at Yusuke, then down at Youko, who waved and grinned.
"I wouldn't touch him... unless I was paid handsomely."
Youko sighed. "Damn!"
Yusuke screamed like a girl and jumped back. "You really ARE gay, aren't you!"
Youko was on his feet in a second, dangling Yusuke's watch in front of his face. "Look! Now I got your watch and you aren't getting it back! I'll stash it with everything else I've stolen!" He vanished into the forest. Yusuke gave chase.
"WE'RE ALONE!" Shadow (previously nowhere in sight) lunged out of a tiny hole in the ground under the log benches around the fire (it used to be a rat den, but once she went in there, they were scared to ever come back). She flew right out and tackled Hiei onto his back and started passionately (and fakely) "making out" with him, adding sound effects for Eclipse's... benefit. The girl let out a shriek, ran away, and there were sounds of a bus hitting her, followed by a twenty car pile-up and a fireworks truck being hit, which sent a beautiful display of color into the air. Hiei and Shadow barely noticed, as they were now really kissing, and even when Eclipse, crippled and bleeding and groaning for help, came dragging herself around the corner of the house looking for medical assistance, the couple didn't notice. They were much too lost in their sensations to even bother laughing when Kuwabara came back outside and screamed like a girl.
Okay, that was an overstatement. Shadow fully enjoys good humor, and Kuwabara screaming like a little girl over something as simple as a kiss (granted, Hiei was involved, Hiei was on his back under a girl and looking quite pleased with it, Hiei was now sporting a nice little mark on his neck courtesy of Shadow) was humor. She laughed, nearly choking both herself and Hiei.
"Oh, God Shadow!" Hiei said, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. "'Death by kiss' isn't what I want on my death certificate."
"I'm sorry, koi... But... Look, he even passed out! Over a kiss! That's the funniest thing in the world!"
"Well, it's understandable, I guess... It's Kuwabara. 'Nuff said."
"Yeah... And I was on top of you, and you were not complaining about that, and we were both..." She trailed off as Youko came wandering out of the forest and dropped a body on the ground nearby carelessly, then continued to stroll away. "Hey... Isn't that Yusuke?"
"Hey, isn't that Hiei?" Youko mocked. He was swinging a small pouch idly in one hand.
"What's in the pouch? Loot?" Hiei asked.
"Yeah. Yusuke tripped, so I robbed him."
"Tripped?" Shadow was hovering over Yusuke the next second, leaving a very unhappy Hiei lying on the ground alone. "There is no possible way to get that many marks from tripping. What'd you do, tie him up by his wrists and hang him off the Eiffel State Building?"
"What the what now?" Youko asked cluelessly.
"The Eiffel State Building. You know, that house in Africa that's really high... Where all the people go to throw things and see if bowling balls kill people faster when thrown at the same time as a feather?" she replied distractedly, poking at Yusuke with her shoe. The fox and Hiei exchanged clueless looks and shrugs.
"AHHHHHH!" Yusuke latched onto Shadow's leg. "GIVEITBACK! NOW! I WANT MY UNDERWEAR BACK!"
All eyes were instantly on Youko.
"I didn't steal his underwear! Gross!"
"You sure? Maybe I should look in that bag of yours," Hiei said, snatching the pouch out of Youko's hand.
"There's nothing in there that would interest you."
"A zippo!" Hiei pocketed the shiny lighter.
"Hey! I needed that!"
"What for? You stole it anyway, it's mine now... So's this little pocket knife here..." He slipped that inside his jacket.
"You suck, Hiei."
"Nah. Eclipse does, if you're interested, though."
"HIEI!" Shadow screamed.
"Oh, you did it now, man," Youko said, quickly stuffing his loot back in the pouch and getting out of the way of the slightly crippled and rather angry Shadow's advance. With Yusuke still hanging onto her leg and whining about underwear, she couldn't reach Hiei quickly, but he knew running from her was pointless.
"WHAT WAS THAT YOU JUST SAID?"
"Well you weren't gonna do it! I wasn't gonna say"
"But Eclipse? How would you know?"
"What else would she do? She's a girl, isn't she?"
"Far as I know..." Shadow said thoughtfully, tapping her chin. "BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACTS!"
"I was joking! Are you just trying to make excuses for me to have to beg forgiveness from you?"
"Damn, you caught me."
Hiei relaxed a bit.
"YOU GUYS SUCK! I WANT A FIGHT!" Youko shouted. Shadow flung a rock in the direction of his voice as she closed the distance between herself and Hiei. There was a thud a second later, followed by a second, much more painful-sounding thud shortly after that as Youko fell out of his tree perch. And the second the fire demons' lips met, Yusuke let out a girly shriek and detached himself from Shadow's leg, running away with his arms waving around over his head. Luckily the two weren't deeply engaged in this kiss, and nobody choked when Shadow laughed this time.
Shortly later, they'd managed to round up everybody (even Eclipse, who had to beat them off with a pogo stick to keep them from putting her in an immobilizing body cast for her injuries) and put them back around the fire. Shadow looked around at her friends, eyes settling on the bandages on each of them.
"Wow!" she laughed, "you guys are all hurt!"
Youko glared, a bandage wrapped around his head from the impact of the rock Shadow had pelted at him. "It's your fault, too. All your fault."
"Satan's spawn, that's what you are! The children of the devil!" Eclipse was hissing.
"My stomach hurts," Kuwabara whined.
"Really? Want me to heal it!" Hiei asked excitedly, starting to get up.
"No! No, that's really okay, I think it's actually getting better already!"
"Thought so. What about your hand, Yusuke? Is it still falling off?"
"No, but all these mysterious bruises are giving me problems..." He sighed. "Shadow said I fell off the Fifer's Cake Pylon or something like that..."
"Eiffel State Building, and I said no such thing. Youko said you tripped while in pursuit of the shiny things he stole from you."
"Things? What, plural? I thought he just had my watch!"
"He had that, but he got some more stuff too, when you... tripped."
"Half of it's Hiei's, now," Youko said defensively when the tantei started searching his own pockets.
"YOU STOLE EVERYTHING I OWN!"
"Nope, not your car, or your clothes. Otherwise, yeah, just about. But like I said, half of it went to Hiei. He robbed me of what I robbed from you."
"You damned thieves." Yusuke glared. "I'll get it all back from you before this day is over."
"There's less than three hours of this year, though, Yusuke! You'd better get with it!" Shadow said.
Yusuke let out a banshee shriek war cry and lunged at Hiei and Youko.
"IT'S WAR OF THE CRIPPLES!" the fire girl cheered, lunging out of the way (what care she has for her lover, no?). "BEAT 'EM UP!" (what specific instructions... she's not one to take sides, is she?) "DODGE! LEFT! RIGHT! UP! DOWN! RUN! NO, THE OTHER LEFT!" In the blink of an eye, she went from cheering on a fight to singing Yankee Doodle. Kuwabara stared. Even Youko had the lack of mind to stare, leaving himself open for Yusuke to tackle and pin to the ground.
"Gimme my stuff back!" he snapped, sitting on the fox's chest and searching through his pockets.
"Jeez, Yusuke! Get your ass off me!"
"You stole my stuff! I'll stick my dirty socks in your mouth if you don't shut up!"
Youko was silent. Shadow burst out laughing, clearly over Yankee Doodle. That was just a distraction.
"But wait, you don't wear socks," she said suddenly, once Yusuke had finished digging about five pounds of valuables out of Youko's right pocket and started on his left.
"I do sometimes! And they don't get cleaned very often."
"Oh, God, nasty, Yusuke," Youko whined. "I'll even frisk Hiei for you if you keep your dirty socks far, far away from me for the rest of your life."
"Oh? Okay, no problem!" Yusuke said, gathering up all his reclaimed valuables and removing his weight from the fox's chest. "Go to it."
Youko twitched. Hiei stared in horror. "You aren't really..."
"I have to. Cooperate?"
"I think not." Hiei ran. Yusuke followed with Youko in tow. Shadow, producing her video camera from nowhere, also went after. She could love Hiei to death, but she wouldn't pass up an opportunity for good humor and possible blackmail material.
Into the forest they ran, in the dark. Hiei would not allow himself to be caught.
"YOU HAVE SOME OF MY BEST STUFF, HIEI!" Yusuke yelled. "JUST LET HIM FRISK YOU! IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GOING TO GRAB YOUR ASS OR NOTHIN'!"
There was a thud as Yusuke tripped over something and sent Youko (did you think I didn't literally mean 'tow' when I said 'in tow'? He was dragging the poor guy by his ear!) flying through the air. Shadow taped his progress and let out a "YES!" when he landed on our dear fire demon.
"Oh, God! You weigh a ton, fox! Get off me," Hiei snarled, getting up instantly. Youko, a bit more dazed, was only brought around by the insult.
"I do not weigh a ton, I'll have you know! Just because you're some kind of creepy anorexic half-starved little toothpick doesn't mean I have to be!"
"I'm not anorexic! I don't have eating disorders, I eat better than most normal demons."
"Psh. Yeah, 'cause you've got a loving little girl oh-so-kindly waiting on you hand and foot... and"
"Don't finish that."
"Okay, okay... Anyway, I have to frisk you, because Yusuke told me to."
"But Yusuke's unconscious."
"So? He didn't say he had to be watching."
"Yeah! Frisk 'im! Frisk 'im!" Shadow cheered.
"Shadow!" Hiei yelped, appalled.
"Yes dear, I know I'm evil," she replied sweetly. "At least I don't film you in the shower or anything."
Hiei turned purple. "And you had damn well better not start."
"I won't. That's something only I can see."
Youko looked at Hiei for a response.
"Not yet," Hiei said finally.
"Oh, come on. You guys are so immature. Haven't you ever heard of Hadaka no Tsukiai? Complete strangers would bathe together! Surely a couple of lovers can!"
Shadow flung a rock at Youko's head, narrowly missing both him and Hiei. "Hadaka no whatever is an ancient Japanese custom, and in case you hadn't noticed, my house is hardly Japanese!"
The fox snorted. "Yeah, it's like some man-eating carnival of horrors..."
"Yes! Thank you! So, just because I live in Japan and speak Japanese doesn't mean I have to act Japanese or have anything to do with their customs, especially their creepy bathing habits... Naked companionship my ass... Now frisk Hiei so we can get on with our lives!"
"Your girlfriend has mood swings, Hiei."
"I know. It's okay. As long as she doesn't flip out some day and rape me."
"She could."
"I might," she added. "It'd be interesting."
"Hiei," Youko said, sounding alarmed as he grabbed the smaller demon's arm, "your girlfriend is really unstable. Seek relationship counseling. I know a good place to go."
Boom. We all know Youko doesn't harbor creepy powers like Shadow, what with the changing of the entire surroundings in the blink of an eye, but he managed to do it now, and they were suddenly in a counselor's office (however, there were still trees all around...). Hiei was in the position of the patient, and Youko was sitting behind a desk with a clipboard.
"Tell me about your relationship, Hiei. Are you satisfied with it?"
"Hey... what's going on here?" Shadow asked.
"Satisfied?" Hiei said. "Up to this point, satisfied is a good word, yes."
"Why are we here?" the girl persisted in the background.
"Tell me about your girlfriend."
"She's... You know her."
"Tell me about your girlfirend."
"I have brown hair and green eyes and I enjoy long romantic make-out sessions in the middle of the night on the couch in front of a quiet TV," Shadow said to her camera as she set up a tripod.
"She's... Nice."
"I guess that's the best word to describe her," Youko sighed. "How long have you been dating?"
"I don't know!"
"Is she fulfilling your sexual desires, Hiei?"
"What!"
"Oh yes, yes I am," Shadow purred. She was now answering all Youko's questions... to the camera. The camera was focused so her face took up the majority of its screen, but both Hiei and Youko were visible behind her.
"What are your sexual desires, Hiei?"
"They're none of your god damned business, for one!"
"But I'm your relationship counselor! You can trust me with every little detail! What's she taste like?"
There was a loud slap and Shadow, having her back turned, got a startled look on her face but didn't turn until there was a thud.
"Oh dearie me, Hiei koishii, you knocked him out!"
Youko was lying on the ground twitching with a handprint on his face.
"You bitch slapped him! Have you been hanging around Keiko?" She gasped. "Have you been hanging around Keiko!"
"No! God, no, Shadow! Why are you all suspicious of me now?"
"I'm not. I just like teasing."
"Oh really?"
She grinned devilishly. "Yup." Youko's desk (eh?) was sparsely decorated, so flinging one tiny potted plant onto the ground lacked dramatic effect. But Shadow pushed Hiei onto the desk anyway.
"Hey! You're recording this!" he realized.
"Yeah. Just to torment people with later," she whispered.
"Nice, Shadow. So you like to rub our relationship in peoples' faces?"
"Your question has confused me. Now you're going to pay." She kissed him harshly. Youko, awake again, let out a shriek.
"NOT ON MY DESK!"
"Hey, fox, you were wondering about my sex life!" Hiei laughed.
"But I don't want to learn about it like this! You're on my desk!"
There was a short pause. Then... "You heard him. Not on the desk, Shadow."
"Okay!" They both moved, but before they reached their new destination, Youko caught them and tossed them on the ground.
"Not in the chair, either! There. Fuck on the ground!"
"We're not fucking anywhere!" Shadow yelled. "God, you're such a, a like, a total loser! I can't believe it! Oh my God!" She got up and stalked away. Hiei followed, and suddenly the room was gone and it was the forest again.
"YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS UNSTABLE!" Youko shouted after Hiei. Yusuke stirred, then looked up.
"Hey... Did you get my stuff back?"
"No, I was busy."
"WELL GET IT THEN!" He grabbed Youko by the back of his neck and flung him after Hiei, again landing him on top of the poor demon.
"Youko! Ew! Get off him!" Shadow cried.
"FRISK 'IM!" Yusuke yelled. "He's got my knife and my fire somewhere, and I want them back!"
Sighing again, Youko got up and pulled Hiei to his feet, then, avoiding any thoughts that came into his mind, he obeyed Yusuke. Hiei stood there shuddering.
"I'm being frisked by Youko Kurama," he muttered. "Boy, that's a story."
"Sounds kinky," Shadow said.
"Shadow!" everyone yelped, especially Youko, whose hands were on Hiei's thigh.
"He doesn't have your stuff anymore, Yusuke," Youko announced finally.
"WHAT?"
"He had it in his jacket pocket, and somewhere in their games, Shadow removed it from him... So now he doesn't have them anymore."
"YOU KNEW THAT BUT YOU HAD YOUR HANDS ALL OVER ME ANYWAYS!" Hiei shrieked.
"I said I would," Youko said. "I had to."
"You could have been less thorough..."
"I got it on video tape!" Shadow sang. "Hiei was soooo red..." She froze. "You didn't enjoy it, did you?"
"Shadow! God! First you think it's Eclipse, then Keiko, then Youko! You started out bad, and it only got worse from there!"
"What about Keiko? You think Keiko's nasty?" Yusuke asked coldly. "She's my girlfriend and you just insulted her! This requires a duel!"
Hiei laughed. "Yeah, then I get about fifty free shots for all the times you've insulted my girlfriend."
"Man... True enough. Okay, I lose. Let's go make s'mores!"
Five minutes later.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL THE S'MORES ARE GONE?"
"Well, see, while you were having an orgy, I ate all the s'mores," Eclipse explained.
"ORGY!" Hiei and Shadow screamed. "ORGY!"
"Yeah, it's where"
"But there was only one girl," Youko interrupted dejectedly. "And she's Hiei's. So what does that leave me with?" He looked distastefully at Yusuke. "Him?"
"You look at me like I'm a disease, man," Yusuke complained.
"Would you rather be a disease, or get ass-fucked by Youko?" Shadow asked bluntly.
"Good point. I'll take the flu any day."
"It's ten o'clock," Kuwabara pointed out, attempting to get back to talking about something sane and normal. "Are you guys making New Year's resolutions?"
Before anyone could answer, Shadow loudly announced, "IN THE NEW YEAR, I RESOLVE TO... CONTINUE BEING A VIRGIN!"
"Ah, damn," Hiei muttered. Shadow lunged on him, knocking him onto his back in her excitement.
"So you really do want to have sex with me?"
No answer.
"I knew it! Hey, quick, let's go screw while my New Year's resolution isn't in effect!"
"NAHHHH! NO!" Kuwabara screamed, dragging them apart. "No, no, no. Not unless you're going halfway around the world. I don't want to be anywhere near you when you do that. If you do that. Ew... Hiei and anyone is creepy, but Hiei and Shadow?"
"Hey, just for that, why don't we do it while he's in the house?" Hiei suggested.
"Okay!"
"Hey! I know my New Year's resolution!" Youko said suddenly, clapping his hands together.
"What's that?"
"To get Shuuichi in bed with the girl he's got a crush on! Not necessarily sex, that's a bit too ambitious... This is Shuuichi we're talking about here, but he could at least sleep with her... If Hiei can sleep with a girl, ol' goody two-shoes can as well. That's my New Year's resolution," he announced.
"Good! Who's he got a crush on?" Eclipse asked.
"That is none of your concern, my dear girl," Youko said, grinning evilly.
"Aw, come on! I wanna know! I wanna harass him!"
"I've already done enough evil that he'll have to deal with if I ever let him come back out; the last thing he needs is his denial and secrets exposed. No, I think that little fact will remain between us." The fox reclined against the log bench and interlocked his fingers behind his head to gaze up at the stars.
"You suck."
"Sometimes," he replied, shrugging. Eclispe shrieked, and again Yusuke accused, "You really ARE gay, AREN'T YOU!"
"I'm not gay," Youko said tiredly, turning onto his side and using the log as a pillow.
"Okay, okay, New Year's resolutions! Anyone else? Nobody but Youko?" Kuwabara said.
"And me!" Shadow cheered.
"You really meant that one?"
"Yeah! It might not be good for Hiei, but... Yeah. It'll prevent us from moving too fast in our relationship."
"You already are..." Eclipse muttered. "You kiss so often you'll be sick of it before long."
"No," the couple said in unison.
"I really doubt it," Hiei said. "See, Shadow does"
"NA NA NA! NO! I don't care about what she does to you while she's kissing you, especially if it's anything to do with the placement of her hands!"
"I grab his crotch, Eclipse," the other girl said sarcastically. "You're so stupid."
"HEY! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS! I'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU ALL MAKE ONE!" Kuwabara said. "We need SOMETHING else to talk about for the next two hours, because I don't know about you, but talking about your guys's sex life isn't my idea of a good conversation."
Shadow sighed. "You spoil my fun."
"Hey, I know one for Yusuke," Hiei said, a devilish grin on his face. "He could resolve to stop ticking off his girlfriend every five minutes."
"That's impossible. She's a girl."
"Pardon?" Shadow said. "Are you implying that all girls fly off the handle when their boyfriend breathes wrong, like your psycho girlfriend?"
"Keiko isn't a psycho!"
"But she does fly off the handle when you breathe wrong, and that's what you were implying, isn't it?"
"Um..."
"How about he resolves not to tick anyone off for a whole half of the year," the girl suggested.
"That's asking too much," Hiei replied.
"Fine! I resolve that in the new year, I will do my best to improve my relationship with Keiko. Meaning I won't tick her off and will probably enjoy myself much less when around her," Yusuke said. "And that's final."
"Good, we've got three!" Kuwabara said, counting on his fingers.
"What's yours, baka?" Hiei asked accusingly.
"Mine? Um..."
"And it had damn well better not have anything to do with Yukina."
Kuwabara's face fell. "Why are you always so defensive of her? You're not her father!"
"No, I'm not."
"You're not? Oh, good, that's a relief."
"What! What, you actually thought I was?"
"Well you defend her like you've actually got some connection to her, and you're not her brother!"
"You're stupid, Kuwabara," Hiei said flatly. "I defend her because you're an idiot and she's innocent. You'll taint her."
Shadow snorted. "Yeah, he will, won't he. And he's also a giant oaf and she's smaller than you."
"Come on you guys! You're so mean!" Kuwabara whined.
"They're honest," Youko said. Then he paused. "Well, for the most part."
"We're very honest people! What are you talking about!" Shadow said, crossing her arms. "Hiei would never lie! He told me he loves me! If that isn't honesty, I don't know what is."
"Maybe he's just trying to get you close to him so he can screw you a few times and then vanish when he gets bored with you," Youko suggested.
"No, that's what you do, fox," Shadow retorted.
"I'm Youko Kurama. They throw themselves at me."
"I don't care who you are. Hiei's not like you."
"Thank the gods for that," Hiei muttered.
"What makes you so sure? I'll bet he's lying. He's always been secretive. Maybe there's more to him than you know. Maybe he's a... serial rapist who murders his victims!"
"Then why would I bother with loving her and living with her for years?" Hiei asked. "You're stupid too, Youko. I'm surrounded by big stupid idiots."
"I'm not stupid!" Eclipse volunteered excitedly.
"Yes you are."
"Oh. Well I'm not big, am I?"
"N"
"Some parts of you are!" Youko called. He bounced his eyebrows at her and she threw a rock at his head.
"If I wanted compliments on my body I wouldn't want them from you, lecher! Harass Shadow! Or Hiei!"
"Why me!" Hiei whined. "If he's gay, he's going to harass Yusuke, not me."
"What would I want with Yusuke?" Youko asked. "He's a stupid teenage boy."
"Well I've got a girlfriend. Only guy here who doesn't have a girlfriend is Kuwabara."
"I do so! Yuki"
"Uh-huh," Hiei said coldly. "Sure she is."
"Well I'm not gay so you don't have to worry about it anyway," Youko said.
"You sure looked gay when you were frisking Hiei," Shadow taunted, grinning.
"Yusuke made me do that, and Hiei enjoyed it about as much as I did," the fox snapped. "Whether that was a lot or a little is up to him."
"How about not at all?"
"Uh-huh."
Kuwabara sighed heavily. Everyone looked at him.
"Can't we go the last two hours of the year without talking about sex?"
"What's up with you? Are you all rejected because you can't talk sex? Or are you, a teenage boy, really that disgusted by it?" Youko questioned.
"No! But, well"
"Youko, go fuck Kuwabara to make him feel better," Shadow ordered, pointing.
"WHY ME! I'm leaving! You people are picking on me!" And a few seconds later, a little silver fox vanished into the woods.
"CURSE YOU, YOUKO!" Shadow hollered.
"You brought it on. Now, Eclipse hasn't made a resolution yet!" Kuwabara said, quite aware that Youko was most of the reason anyone was talking about sex. He seemed to have that effect on people, since he had a sex obsession...
"Neither have you," Eclipse pointed out. "Neither has Hiei."
"I'm not making a resolution," Hiei said. "It's stupid. It's not like we have to hold to them anyway."
"Yes you do! How about we all come back here next year and do this again, minus the sex talk, and we see who managed to hold to their resolutions!"
Hiei laughed. "You're stupid."
"I think that's a good idea!" Shadow cheered. Beside her, Hiei let out an exasperated sigh.
"So what's your resolution, Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked. He put his hands over Hiei's ears. "Does it have to do with Yukina! Quick, say it while Hiei can't hear you!"
Hiei had the exasperated look of "I can't believe they're this stupid" on his face.
"In the New Year, I resolve to visit Yukina more often and spoil her with more gifts!"
"That's it?" Hiei cried.
"Hey! You can't hear him!" Yusuke snapped, kneeing him in the back.
"Now only Hiei and Eclipse are left!" Kuwabara exclaimed happily. "Hiei, you go first!"
"Hn."
"O-kay... Eclipse, YOU can go first!"
"My resolution isn't your business!"
"IT'S EVERYONE'S DAMN BUSINESS!" Shadow shouted. "IF YOU DON'T TELL US THEN HOW ARE WE GOING TO KNOW WHETHER YOU ACCOMPLISHED IT!"
"YOU AREN'T!"
"Well, how about this: Hiei reads your mind and tells us your resolution, then Hiei tells us his," Kuwabara suggested.
"How about you calm down about the resolutions and let us think about them, baka?" Hiei snapped. "We all know you've been thinking about this for ages, but maybe other people haven't."
Kuwabara silenced. Hiei had a point, of course.
"So what can we talk about until then?" Shadow asked. She jumped over to Kuwabara and linked her arm in his, stroking his arm. "Hm, handsome?"
"Shadow!" Yusuke screamed. Hiei's jaw was hanging open stupidly. Shadow zoomed over to Yusuke.
"What is it, you sexy thing?" she asked, arms around his neck. He grabbed her and plopped her onto Hiei's lap.
"He's your lover and you know it. I know I'm wonderful and Kuwabara's... Well, I'm wonderful, so I can understand why you'd be torn to come to me instead of Hiei, but"
"Oh, learn some humility, Yusuke! I was just teasing Hiei. If he ever comes out of shock here, I'll apologize to him. I can't believe I touched Kuwabara... ew." She shuddered. Then she shuddered again. "FLAMES! PURIFY ME!" The girl made to jump into the fire, but Hiei caught her wrist and pulled her back to his lap, their faces mere centimeters apart.
"Why did you do that?"
"What, jump at the fire? 'Cause"
"No. What you did with Kuwabara there. Why did you do that?"
"He needs some self-esteem?"
"That's a hell of a reason."
"I'm so very, very sorry, Hiei. What do you want me to do to make it up to you? Should I live in your garbage can until you say it's enough? Or would you rather just punish me? You want to chain me up and beat me?"
"How about you do whatever I ask you to until I consider your misdeed forgiven?"
"I can agree to that," she murmured. "What's my first command, Master?"
Yusuke gagged, missing Hiei's next words, but a second later it was obvious what they'd been. 'Kiss me.'
"Now, how come my relationship with Keiko isn't like that?" he asked quietly, sitting down between Kuwabara and Eclipse. "She'd never obey me." They watched for a few seconds, then he added, "And there's no way she could kiss like that."
"It makes you wonder where Shadow learned, doesn't it?" Youko asked quietly from behind them.
"YeahHey! Where'd you come from?"
The fox gestured to the woods casually. "What'd I miss?"
"Shadow is Hiei's slave until he forgives her for calling Kuwabara handsome. She's gonna be calling him master and acting all creepy for a while."
The couple on the opposite side of the fire broke apart finally and looked to their friends. Red eyes widened slightly.
"What are you staring at! We're not in a zoo, you gawking morons!" Hiei snapped, flinging a chunk of burning wood at them. They screamed and scattered. It hit the log on which three of four had been sitting, and the log burst into flames.
"Get water! Call 911! Call 911! Oh my God, somebody get water!" Kuwabara was screaming, running in circles and being not in the least bit helpful. Youko tripped him. Everybody else was just kind of staring at the fire with a startled look.
"Hadn't really expected that," Hiei said finally. "Put that out, Shadow."
"Yes, Master!" She jumped up and ran to the log, which was now totally engulfed in flames and burning like a furnace. "FLAMES! OBEY YOUR MASTER AND BE GONE!"
And they were.
But the second she turned her back, they exploded back full force. She screamed.
"I didn't do it!"
"I told you to put it out!"
"I did! They came back!"
"Well do it again!"
"FLAMES! OBEY YOUR MASTER AND BE GONE! AND STAY GONE!"
The flames were gone. Shadow turned her back, this time noticing a wicked smile on Hiei's face before the flames returned.
"YOU REQUIRE A SACRIFICE, DON'T YOU?" she shouted at the burning log. Darting over to Kuwabara, she flung him at the fire. "HAVE THIS UGLY HUNK OF FLESH!"
The flames extinguished before the boy hit the remains of the log, screaming like a girl. However, the log, in all its charred and ashy glory, was still hot as hell (figuratively speaking), and Kuwabara ended up with a big ol' burn on his chest where he landed on the hot ash.
"IT HURTS! IT HURTS! OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO BAD!"
"But the flames aren't coming back," Shadow said cheerfully.
"AHHHHHH!" Kuwabara continued to writhe and scream, not quite seeing the "obvious" benefits of his pain. Hiei snickered.
"The flames always could come back, though, you know... They're unpredictable forces."
Kuwabara stopped screaming instantly.
"That's better."
"But it hurts so BAD!" he whined.
"Here! Have some friggin' numbing stuff," Youko snapped, flinging a small jar at Kuwabara. "Good for burns. I've made a point of carrying it since I met Hiei. Shuuichi always has some with him too."
"It's empty!" Kuwabara screamed once he'd gotten the lid off.
"Really? Jeez, Yusuke," Youko said. But he sat down next to Hiei on the log, making no attempts to mend the situation.
"You're not gonna help me?" the boy whined after everyone else had also settled back into seats around the fire.
"I'm not your freaking personal paramedic!" Youko snapped. "Jeez!"
"See what I say about doing ningen favors?" Hiei asked.
"Yes, Hiei, no need to point it out, but it's not my fault the stupid kid expects Shuuichi's disposition from me."
"Somebody has to help me, I can't fix this on my own!" he whined.
"Help him, Youko! Jeez, can't you see the poor kid is suffering?" Shadow reprimanded.
"And whose fault is it?"
"Hiei's!"
"Pardon me, Shadow!" Hiei said.
"I mean, it's, um, anyone's but Hiei's! I'm so sorry my great Lord and Master!"
"Good girl."
"You two are detestable..." Youko snarled, getting up and reaching into his hair for a seed as he crossed to Kuwabara.
"I thought you wouldn't help him?"
"Anything to get away from you."
Shadow snickered evilly.
And so, at this rate, Kuwabara had forgotten completely about dragging resolutions out of the remaining two unresolutionists. However, he remembered again around 11:00, when things had settled down and Shadow had refurbished their supply of marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers. She'd also brought out hot chocolate at Hiei's command, while he sat on his butt and discussed his 'happy' ningen life with Kurama (as in Shuuichi Minamino Kurama, who'd managed to beat down his Youko side and get control).
"Hey! You guys still didn't make resolutions!" the human boy exclaimed suddenly. Everyone looked at him. "Hiei and Eclipse! And you, too, Kurama. Youko did, but you didn't. I want you guys to make resolutions!"
"Fine!" Hiei said. "You want to know my resolution? I resolve to not kick your ass within the first week of the New Year. Happy? It's a resolution."
Kuwabara looked crushed, but he muttered, "Yeah, I guess it is... Eclipse?"
"I resolve to get over my skittishness of Hiei and Shadow's relationship, and start a relationship of my own to disgust them with! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" the girl proclaimed proudly, hands on her hips.
"You can't disgust us," Shadow said. "At least, not me. I'm immune to disgust."
"We'll see," Eclipse replied, grinning maniacally.
"And you, Kurama?" Kuwabara asked. The redhead shrugged.
"Isn't it good enough Youko made one without my input?"
"Well... I guess, but..."
"Fine. I resolve to..." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a small slip of paper. "...to become more... active in my relationship?"
Hiei snatched the paper. "You idiot, that's a cookie fortune!"
"Yes, well. Does that satisfy you, Kuwabara?"
"What relationship?"
"I'm not specifying. That way, next year at this time, you can't accuse me of not fulfilling my resolution if I don't have a girlfriend at the time."
Kuwabara seemed displeased.
"I still think mine is the best!" Shadow sang.
"I don't," Hiei grumbled. Kurama smiled a bit.
"Celibacy surely can't hurt you, Hiei. You don't really strike me as a sexually active type to start with."
"But"
"But it's me," Shadow interrupted, "and how can he resist me? Youko hits on me, and he's gay!"
Inside Kurama's mind, the fox threw a fit. "Make them stop saying that, Shuuichi!"
"You're upsetting him," Kurama said. "Stop calling him gay. Calling him gay makes him sound like he'd get along well with Karasu."
"Karasu's bisexual," Shadow corrected. "Anyways, Hiei, you can remain celibate for a year, can't you? For me?"
"Yes, I can. I have for the past few years anyway."
"You haven't had sex in years?" Yusuke seemed amazed.
"I've never had sex, and neither have you, Yusuke," Shadow said. "Actually, of us all here, in our current forms, Hiei's the only one of us who has had sex. Unless Eclipse has been keeping secrets..."
"NO!"
"Besides, Hiei..." Now Shadow slid off the log to sit next to Hiei on the ground, pressing herself against him. "The wait will make it all the more better, won't it?"
"DON'T KISS!" Eclipse shouted quickly before they could. "For once, when you see an opening, I want you to ignore it. You guys have been all over each other all night, and it's getting pretty darn tiresome."
"You don't have to watch, you know," Hiei retorted. The girl moved her mouth soundlessly. He had a point.
"You have been a bit excessive," Kuwabara muttered.
"Oh my God! A big word from the baka! Let's have cake!" Shadow said excitedly, jumping up and running into the house. Hiei picked himself up off the ground and stared at the back door as it banged shut.
"How many cakes has that been tonight?"
"We've had three," Yusuke answered. "This will be the fourth."
"You'd think she'd get tired of baking cakes," Eclipse said. "I've never fixed anything more complex than a sandwich in my life... How the hell does she do it, Hiei?"
"What, make cakes? I dunno, there's instructions on the box... Cake mix, milk... eggs, maybe?" He smiled a bit to show he was teasing. Eclipse didn't catch on.
"You idiot! I was asking how the hell she managed to cook meals for you and her both and keep variety up and stuff, and you manage to actually eat it!"
"Shadow's a really good cook," Hiei admitted. "I don't know how an idiot like her can cook without burning down the house, but she does, and like everything else she does, she does it well."
"I know something she doesn't do well," Kurama said. "Think."
"True enough... But look at it this way: She's good at not thinking. She's good at being stupid. Granted, people don't see that as positive, but she has her moments."
"Was she thinking when she committed to a relationship with you?" Yusuke taunted.
"I wasn't," Hiei muttered. "Friggin' commitments."
"Oh my God! Hiei's going to start sounding like one of those frequently complaining husbands in Lifetime movies who end up beating and raping and murdering their wives!" Eclipse shrieked, hiding behind Yusuke. "Save us all!"
"We don't need saved; we're not his wife," the boy pointed out.
"True enough. Technically, neither is Shadow," Kurama said. "Though, wouldn't she make a good wife, Hiei?" He poked his friend. "Good cook, intelligent, she's got a way with words, she's beautiful, and apparently a very good kisser..."
"Shut up, Kurama."
"CAKE TIME!"
Shadow came zooming out to them with a cake held before her, plates and forks on her head, and a pitcher full of hot chocolate balanced on top of that.
"Rather awkward, isn't that?" Yusuke asked.
"You ridiculous girl," Hiei said, snatching the hot chocolate and plates and forks off her head.
"But you love me."
"Hn. You're still ridiculous, Shadow."
"I'm sorry. Want some cake?"
And so, they had cake. Kuwabara made them all promise not to talk about sex for the rest of the year, and reminded them that in other time zones, it was still yesterday. They were all baffled he knew what a time zone was, and agreed not to talk about sex for a while.
"So, when are you two gonna get married?" Yusuke asked, setting his plate aside.
"We're not," Hiei said flatly. "Marriage is a ningen custom. It means nothing to me."
"Ah, come on... She'd look wonderful in a wedding gown."
"She'd look good in nothing, but you don't see her prancing around naked, do you?"
"You sexist pig!" Shadow accused.
"I was kidding!"
"You evil man! You think I'm ugly!"
"What!"
"I'm not talking to you!"
"What? Shadow!"
"Nope! Don't hear you..."
"Ridiculous child!"
"It's just the wind..."
"Stop being stupid."
"The wind! Kaze kaze kaze! Who's Hiei? Never heard of him. I bet he's pretty stupid. All midgety and short-tempered, with weird hair and strange fashion sense. He probably has an obsession with weapons, and I read that if you meet a guy with a particular interest in weapons, you shouldn't be alone with him 'cause he'll rape you." She nodded. "But since Hiei's unstable in the mind, he might rape you in public. These are all assumptions, of course, I've never met somebody named Hiei. Hiei? Who's that? Does he like cake? I baked a cake, but I can't give it to him if I don't know him. What's he look like? I bet he'smmph!"
She rather abruptly found lips against hers, and they weren't all that gentle, either. Hiei pulled back.
"Oh, yeah! Hiei! I know him!" Shadow said excitedly. "He's hot."
"Ugh!" Yusuke whined. "Didn't they say something about keeping their hands off each other?"
"No," Kurama sighed. "But I wish they would..."
"You done with your cake, Hiei?" Shadow asked. "I recall a certain something that must be done." Her eyes darted to the trees nearby. Hiei nodded.
"I'm done."
"Let's go." She took his hand and led the way into the woods. Kuwabara let out another girly shriek.
"Guys! You can talk about sex! Come back! Don't go in the woods alone together! Somebody go with them! Ahhhh!"
"I'll go," Kurama offered, smiling. He got up and jogged to catch up with the couple, throwing his arms around their shoulders when he reached them. Both of them slipped out from under him and forced him to walk alongside if he was coming.
In the clearing, crickets chirped and the fire popped and burned merrily (fires truly enjoy burning, did you know that? There's nothing they'd rather do). Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other, then at Eclipse, who'd grabbed the cake pan and inhaled the remainder of the cake, and was now looking somewhat ill.
"So... What now?"
"We wait..." Eclipse said in an ominous voice. "WE WAIT FOR THEIR RETURN..." After a short, dramatic pause, she got up and started dancing like a small child, singing music to go with it. Yusuke and Kuwabara sweat dropped.
Meanwhile, in the woods, Shadow and the two demons were gathering up fireworks in their arms and carrying them to a more suitable launch site, i.e. her front yard. The other three were oblivious.
"Whose creative idea was this again, Shadow?" Kurama asked, eyeing the pile of explosives.
"Mine, of course!" she said cheerfully. "I'm the creative one of the two, aren't I?"
The redhead sighed heavily. "You're the psycho of the bunch..."
"Help me set 'em up. We've got twenty minutes until midnight."
"I don't really think... Ah, hell." If it blew up and all of them died, at least it wouldn't be a boring death. Not really the death he'd pictured for himself, but certainly not a boring death. Then again, he'd probably end up being the laughingstock of Tokyo... Shuuichi Minamino, teenage genius, died playing with EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS fireworks on New Years. Even a genius can be an idiot.
"You know you're not going to die; we don't even need to get near them to light them!" Shadow consoled cheerfully, patting him on the back. "Hiei can handle that."
"True enough," the fox muttered. And they went about the task of setting up their fireworks display. Meanwhile, in the backyard, Eclipse was being grilled.
"So your resolution was to get a boyfriend, right?" Yusuke asked.
"Yeah. Just because I want to bother those two lovebird pyromaniacs as much as they're bothering me."
"Does it really bother you that much?"
"Yes! They're disgusting."
"Not really. It's kinda interesting, if you ask me."
"Interesting! Ha!"
"So who have you got your eyes on?"
"What?"
"For your boyfriend."
"I don't know." She turned slightly pink, but the firelight covered it.
"Somebody we know?"
"Maybe. I don't know all your aquaintances."
"It's not Kurama, is it?"
"NO!"
Both boys stared, startled by the ferocity of her response.
"Yes it is," Yusuke said, relaxing from his surprise.
"No it's not!"
"Yeah it is..." Kuwabara said, grinning.
"No it's not!"
"Look how she's turning red!" Yusuke taunted. He, of course, couldn't see that she was turning red, but she didn't realize that.
"I'm just warm! The fire and all, y'know. It's not Kurama."
"Warm my shoe! I can't even see if you're red or not! You just admitted it! That's the funniest thing in the world! It's Kurama! HEY KUmmph!"
"It's not Kurama! IGNORE ANYTHING HE SAYS TO YOU, FOX! HE'S LYING!"
Back at the fireworks, Kurama stared towards the backyard. "They don't even know we're up here. Why're they yelling?"
"Who knows. Who cares," Hiei said.
"GET BACK TO WORK," Shadow ordered. Kurama groaned.
"Slavedriver," he muttered. She threw a clump of soil at him and hit him in the head. "Ow!"
When they finished, they returned to the fire to find Kuwabara and Yusuke both unconscious and gagged on the ground, and Eclipse casually eating crackers.
"What... happened?" Kurama asked.
"Happened?" Eclipse asked, mocking confusion. "Oh! You mean that? They were, um... Attacked by Karasu. Yeah. He lives around here, doesn't he?"
Kurama shuddered. "Yes, but that's not why they're laying on the ground gagged. He hasn't been here for some time."
"I could change that," Shadow said, pulling a cell phone out of Hiei's pocket (Hiei has a cell phone?). "I know where he's currently taking up residence!"
"You mean he's not in the woods anymore?"
"At the moment he's living with that slut Hiei had to go to that rave with. They, um... met up after we left."
Kurama stared in horror. "Koenma has nothing to say about that?"
Shadow shrugged. "I dunno. He probably doesn't even know. You know children are irresponsible little things. Anyways, try to wake up those two, I've got something to do." She darted inside. Hiei stared after her, confused and curious, while Kurama stared at the two unconscious boys with an utterly baffled look on his face. Something of importance had probably just been said and he'd missed it.
About five minutes later, loud voices were heard, startling the rest of the group. Kurama quickly identified it as a radio or television broadcast.
"Then why's it so loud?" Hiei snapped.
"That was me!" Shadow said cheerfully from behind him, waving. He jumped.
"What'd you do?"
"I hooked it up to big ol' speakers and put them in the windows so we can hear the countdown to midnight!"
"Good idea!" Eclipse cheered. "Aren't you brilliant?"
"Yes I am!"
"Hey, by the way, is Hiei still your Lord and Master or has he forgiven you for that little... whatever the hell you did earlier?"
"Hiei's always my Lord and Master, Eclipse," Shadow said patiently, as if to a child.
"She's forgiven," Hiei told them.
"But if he asks something of me, I'll still consider doing it," the girl pointed out.
"Just consider?" Kurama asked. "That's a surprise."
"She'll do it," Eclipse sighed. "Because she's all creepy now and probably has some kind of creepy ritual at nights where she does erotic dances and icky stuff like that for Hiei to get off."
Boom.
"I HATE YOU!"
A few seconds later, Eclipse joined her still-unconscious victims on the ground. Shadow kicked her unconscious body a few times. Kurama pulled out a party favor and blew it, if at all possible, sarcastically.
"Happy New Year," he said sarcastically.
"They'll wake up for the last few minutes of the year," Shadow assured him. "Don't worry."
"It already is the last few minutes of the year," Hiei pointed out as the souped-up radio announced that it was 1 minute and 30 seconds from the new year.
"Oh! They'll wake up any minute now!" She struck a variety of poses, threw ash over their unconscious bodies, then bowed towards them. "Now we wait!"
And sure enough, at 30 seconds to midnight, all three were up, and cowering away from their various tormentors.
"Ten," the radio announced. "Nine..."
"Eight," Shadow took up the count. "Seven."
"Six..." Eclipse said.
"Five!" Shadow announced.
"Four," Eclipse continued.
"Three." Tension hung in the air.
"Two." Hiei drew Shadow closer to him.
"One." Everyone was staring at the house, at the speakers in the windows.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" blared over the radio. Shadow and Hiei kissed. The other four let out whoops and cheers as the fireworks in the front yard were triggered and sent into the sky (via slightly long distance energy triggers courtesy Hiei).
The group gazed at the firework display, smiling. Bright colors lit the sky all over Tokyo. It was the New Year, and with it came new opportunities. This was hardly in the front of Shadow's mind. Firework display complete, she was the one to break the silence.
"I have spots in front of my eyes," she muttered. Eclipse snorted to suppress laughter. Hiei sighed, smiling a bit and shaking his head.
"Brilliant, Shadow," Kurama muttered.
"And I suppose you had some great profound line worked up in your mind to break the silence, didn't you?" Hiei taunted. "It'd be so like you."
The redhead shrugged and sat down next to Eclipse. "Too late now."
"Happy New Year all the same."
"Yes. Happy New Year."
I liked this chapter... I didn't remember most of it... I never reread my chapters after I finish them, until I'm gonna post them, and by then I've forgotten everything, so it's like reading a whole new story! It's great!
OH GREAT DICTIONARY OF TERMS OF TRANSLATEDNESS:
CHAPTER ONE
Makai- demon world
ningen- human
baka- stupid, idiot
Kawaii kaeru desu ka- Is it a cute frog?
ja mata- See ya! (casual, used only with friends and people you know well)
Okaasan- Mother (formal, respectful form, must be used when referring to another person's mother)
hai- yes
konnichi wa- good afternoon
Hajimemashite- Nice to meet you.
iie- no
Arigatou- thank you (casual)
Sayonara- good bye (formal)
CHAPTER TWO
Moshi moshi- This is how you answer a telephone in Japan... Far as I know, that's the only time it's used...
CHAPTER THREE
Doumo arigatou gozaimasu- thank you (formal... gozaimasu makes a lot of things more polite)
Ja mata ne- See you later!
Konban wa- Good evening.
Minna-san wa o-genki desu ka- This is pretty much asking, "How is everyone?" It's how my teacher greets her classes... "Seito no minna-san wa o-genki desu ka?" ('Seito no minna-san wa' would just be addressing all students... seito isstudent
CHAPTER FOUR
tantei- detective
sensei- teacher
Gomen nasai- I'm sorry.
shinkansen- bullet train
ohayou gozaimasu- Good morning (formal/polite)
Nani?- what?
Ninjutsu- a form of martial arts used by ninja
Ningenkai- Human world
CHAPTER FIVE
bokken- wooden practice sword
CHAPTER SIX
obake- ghost(s)
soba- I believe soba is/are noodles of some sort...
osushi- sushi... with an O at the beginning cuz that's how my teacher says it sometimes (these two were used in Shadow's line "I am the famed Jedi Master Soba-kwan Osushi. Maybe it's funnier now?)
kitanai- messy, dirty
ki- energy... it's not really Japanese, I don't think, it's just a term... sometimes known as 'Chi.'
chibi- this translates to something like miniature/little/child... that doesn't really matter; I assume you've seen chibi Hiei before?
Inari- Shinto God of Harvest. Foxes are his messangers. Inari is sometimes pictured as a fox.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Reikai tantei- Spirit World detective
Raizen- not a raisin. This is Yusuke's demon ancestor, if you didn't know.
gomen- sorry
Reikai- Spirit World
CHAPTER EIGHT
kokugo- native language (It'd be Japanese class)
Ohayou- good morning (casual)
kitsune- fox
CHAPTER NINE
Reiken- Spirit Sword
youki- demon energy
CHAPTER TEN
Mouken Kyoukan- According to an online dictionary: mouken means 'savage dog' and kyouken means 'mad dog' and I just realized I've been spelling that wrong through whole story so far! Wow! I ought to fix that.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
manga- Japanese comic books
Aishite'ru- I love you.
CHAPTER TWELVE
kagerou- dragonfly
oni- literally 'demon', but these, by description in myths, are the ogres found running around Koenma's castle. Things like Hiei, Yukina, and Youko Kurama are called youkai, which is 'apparition.'
koishii- dear, beloved
Yariman- slut
koi- short for koishii... also a kind of fish, but that's not how it's used in my story... Unless Hiei and Shadow are really fish in disguise and are trying to tell me something...
osokunatte sumimasen- this is an apology for being late to class... I wasn't paying attention in class so I'm not sure if I should know the exact translation or not...
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
hanabi- fireworks (hana meansflower, bi is one of the many words that means fire)
Hadaka no Tsukiai- Naked companionship. It's the custom Japanese used to/still do observe... People clean outside the tub, then get in the warm water in a deep tub... It's like... quality family time... if you happen to be a family... there were community bathing places all over the place, but from what I understand, times are changing and less and less people want to be in a pool with other naked strangers... This particular custom makes me disgusted.
kaze- wind