(May 17, 2005) Okay, okay, so I intended to update when I had 500 reviews, then I planned to update last Sunday, but I just didn't get around to it... But then I got this review from Kuriku, who was telling me how finals are in two weeks and school is sucking major ass because teachers are demanding 5 page papers, and I decided I would make an effort to update sooner, because I feel bad for you. So, just for you, Kuriku, is Chapter 19.
I have 516 reviews right now. Thank you!

A note to homophobes: Since none of my readers are homophobes (I say this in a threatening "You had all damn well better NOT be homophobes" voice), I don't have to put a note/warning here telling you not to complain about certain developments in this chapter. Got it?

CHAPTER NINETEEN
The Secret's Out

It had been a close call (okay, not really), but Kurama and Shadow had gone free while Arisa served her sentence. January had continued without incident, and Shadow had quickly grown used to having fanboys. They drove Hiei out of his mind, and she didn't make it any better by flaunting (once home she always apologized most humbly). The social studies project I so diligently remembered to mention (and then didn't detail) went over totally well, and, with Shadow's commentary, left most of the class helpless with laughter.

Shadow's detention sentence had continued regardless of the trial, and she used her free time spying on Ryu. It wasn't very long before she made her deduction. In front of Hiei, Kurama, and Eclipse, she announced her findings.

"Arisa is blackmailing Ryu with embarrassing photos of him and a friend of his... doing stuff... In addition to that, she's 'paying' him with sex."

"Paying him to do what?" Hiei asked.

"Spy on us."

"WHAT?"

"He has been for some time, apparently. I heard Arisa saying something about uncovering our secrets so that she and Shuuichi can be together after he ditches us due to whatever the hell we are apparently hiding."

"What are we hiding that Kurama doesn't know!" Hiei asked.

"Nothing, but she doesn't know that. We're hiding a lot from the general public, so she probably assumes that whatever we're hiding from them, we're hiding from him. Our relationship, perhaps? Or that we're demons? Our habits and abilities?"

Kurama chuckled. "She can go ahead and try to uncover your secrets; I hate her. She couldn't pay me to even touch her. Even Youko wouldn't associate with someone like her if possible."

"Sometimes circumstances decide who you associate with in Makai," Hiei said. He looked to Shadow, "Is Ryu spying right now?"

Shadow hopped away and came back a moment later. "Yeah. He's in his car parked across the road. Planning something?"

"All those rumors this year..." He thought for a few minutes. "Ryu could have started them all."

"I can't believe he would do that. What could she possibly have pictures of?" Kurama asked.

"I told you. Him and a friend of his doing stuff," Shadow reminded him.

"Sex?"

"Yeee-- He's gay. Or bi, maybe, since she's screwing him too..."

Kurama's eyes widened a bit. "She has pictures of him with another guy?"

"He leads a secret double life, I think." Shadow nodded proudly at her deduction. "Now, Hiei, your plan is...?"

"I think... Just to totally ruin that slut's life, to spoil her dreams of Shuuichi Minamino... We should let Ryu give her concrete evidence of our relationship, so she can... reveal our secrets... to Kurama and have him totally not care. How's that?"

Shadow grinned. "If you're willing to have our relationship in the open for rumors and harassment, I say fine."

Hiei nodded. "Let's go, then."

"Go?"

He stood and took her hand, "To the porch, stupid. He can see us there."

Shadow darted to the front door and peered through binoculars. "Okay, he's looking. Ready?"

Hiei nodded. He perfected their simple plan, then he and Shadow threw open the front door, laughing, and Hiei instantly spun her and pinned her to the wall next to the door, kissing her hungrily. Across the street, Ryu grabbed a video camera.

After a bit more kissing and neck-sucking, the door suddenly opened and Eclipse stepped out. She let out a little yelp at the sight of Hiei and Shadow, the latter pinned to the wall with the former sucking and kissing her neck. However, she only caught a little glimpse, as Hiei's head snapped up and the couple stared at Eclipse in horror for a moment.

"YOU TWO? EW! YOU... YOU'RE... LIKE... THAT? YOU'RE... TOGETHER? YOU'RE..." Eclipse let out a shriek and ran back into the house.

"Wait! Eclipse!" Hiei cried. "Don't say anything!" He and Shadow disentangled themselves from each other and rushed back into the house. Once the door was shut, Shadow peered out the nearest window and saw Ryu put away the camera and pull out his cell phone.

"He filmed us!" she said, a little surprised. "Wait, he's calling her..." There was a pause, then the unmistakable sound of a car engine starting told Hiei and the others he was leaving before Shadow told them.

"He's leaving."

"I'd guessed," Hiei said. Kurama peered at Shadow.

"Jesus, Hiei! You overdid it!"

The little demon looked up. "Huh?"

"That mark!" He turned Shadow's head to peer more closely at her neck. "That'll be there for a week or more!"

Hiei shrugged. "So?"

"So!"

"Well she certainly wasn't complaining."

"Psst," Shadow said, tapping Kurama on the shoulder to get his attention. He glanced at her and she pulled her shirt down to reveal just as bad of a mark on her collarbone. "I never complain."

Eclipse stared at the purplish mark with a bit of wonder. "Wow... That's so cool!"

Three eyebrows raised simultaneously. Then Shadow grinned.

"You want one? I'm sure Kurama would be all too happy to give you one."

"Shadow!"

"Yeah!" Eclipse said.

"What! Why!" Kurama asked.

"Shadow has one! Why should she get something that I don't?"

"That's because she has a creepy boyfriend! Do you even know what it is? Do you even know what it requires to get one?" Kurama asked.

"Thanks for that, Kurama," Hiei muttered. "Creepy... Hn."

"I want one," Eclipse pouted.

"Can't you act like an adult for once in your life?"

"Why don't we get Youko to do it, then?" Shadow suggested, slinking over to Kurama and putting her arms around his waist. "I can bring him out if you want."

"Hiei! Call off your girlfriend!"

"Oh, just kiss the girl, Kurama. You know you want to," Hiei said as he gently guided Shadow's arms to his own waist.

"That's not what she wants, she wants a hickey."

"Then give her a hickey," the fire demon advised. "The world will keep turning, and hell, you might realize you enjoy it. You can't avoid her forever." He picked up Shadow. "We've got a few things to attend to. Later."

And then, Kurama was left alone in the room with Eclipse. She was looking at him expectantly, arms crossed and foot tapping. The redhead looked at her for a moment before sighing helplessly and taking her in his arms.

"Hell of a reason for a first kiss," he muttered, then brought his lips to hers. After a second, he moved downwards and sucked on her skin for a moment until there was a satisfactory mark. "Happy?"

Eclipse had a smile on her face. "You actually did it."

"Huh?"

"I just wanted to see if I could persuade you." She pulled him down and kissed him again, much to his surprise.

"I like that," she muttered thoughtfully after pulling away. "No wonder Shadow and Hiei are all over each other."

"Their kisses are a bit more involved than what we just did," Kurama said. He held up a finger before she spoke, "And we are NOT trying that."

"Okay. I don't think I really want your tongue down my throat anyways."

"Yes she does!" came a slightly muffled voice from the next room.

"Quiet, moron!" Hiei's voice hissed in reply. Kurama got a disbelieving look on his face and crossed the room. They were sitting just around the corner on the floor. Hiei gazed up at him innocently, then he gave a smile and a little wave. Shadow had her mouth on his neck, paying him back for the mark on hers.

"You nosy little--"

"It's only cuz we love you," Hiei said most uncharacteristically, smiling. Kurama was speechless with a confused ball of emotions trying to unsort themselves in his head. He was startled by the way Hiei was acting, angry to find that they hadn't really left to start with, and still slightly confused by Eclipse. Shadow looked up from Hiei's neck, on which there was now a nice big dark mark, and smiled at him.

"We want you and Eclipse to get together, you moron. It's obvious you both like each other, so at least give it a try. Go on a date. Go to a movie or dinner or something. Just the two of you. It could be extremely fun!"

"STOP PLAYING MATCHMAKER!" Eclipse screamed from the doorway, and lunged past Kurama to tackle the lovebirds. "I can handle my own love life, thank you!"

"If you could," Shadow cried while being choked, "then why aren't you with Romeo there yet! Hiei went all emotional before you did!"

"And it was for the better, I might add," Hiei reminded as he rather forcefully pried Eclipse's hands off Shadow. He picked up his girlfriend. "Now we're going to go attend to those things I said we had to attend to. And we're actually going this time. Don't bother us."

"Yeah," Shadow snapped. "Don't bother us! You might regret it!"

"We won't bother you," Kurama promised. "I'm going home anyways."

"How come?" Shadow asked worriedly.

"Because. I need to think. And knowing that you two are in the same house as me doing God-knows-what you're planning on doing certainly won't help me think. Besides, my mother's making something special for dinner tonight." He flashed them a smile and turned. Eclipse looked at Hiei.

"Is it gonna be noisy here?"

"Noisy?" Hiei questioned.

"You know."

"Oh! Oh. No, Eclipse, we're not going to have sex or do anything involving the removal of pants," Shadow assured her.

"Oh, good. I'm gonna stay here, then, if you two don't mind. I won't bother you. I won't knock on the door while you two are not having sex or doing anything involving the removal of pants. You won't even know I'm here."

"We'd better not," Hiei snapped. Then he vanished up the stairs with Shadow in his arms. Eclipse went to the kitchen, gathered several boxes of crackers and cereals, carried them to the living room, and pulled out five DVDs at random from Shadow's collection. She put in the first one and settled down to watch while stuffing her face.

Upstairs, Hiei settled against Shadow, leaning on her chest while sitting between her legs, his shirt halfway across the room where it had landed when the girl had rid him of it. Shadow had her arms around him and her head on his shoulder.

"Love you," she murmured.

"Love you too," he replied, turning his head to kiss her cheek. "I'm glad it's Friday."

"Me too." She leaned back and started massaging his shoulders. "You've relaxed."

"Hm?"

"First time I did this, you were so tense it was probably extremely unhealthy. You've relaxed a lot since then."

"How could I not?" he murmured. Shadow smiled.

"With the weekend coming up, that gives Slut-face and her pussywhipped lackey two days to make a nice ol' plot with her slutty minion lackey followers to bring us down and get Kurama in her bed."

"Whatever she does... it won't get Kurama in her bed... and it won't 'bring us down.'" He hummed contentedly for a moment. "...Where did you get so good at this?"

"Practice makes perfect," Shadow replied. "Now's not the time to discuss it."

"You always say that."

"Shhh."

Shadow had been absolutely right when she'd said they wouldn't do anything related to sex. As a matter of fact, Hiei fell asleep in her arms and she shortly followed, leaning her head on his.

They slept like that until there was a knock on their door. Hiei stirred and snapped, "WHAT?" rather irritably. Eclipse's meek voice came through the door.

"I know you said you'd kill me if I bothered you, but I figured you'd want to know that your asshole boss is on the phone threatning to kill you if you aren't there in five minutes."

Hiei's eyes snapped to the clock and he let out a startled noise.

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP? IT'S TEN THIRTY, YOU MORON!"

"I said I wouldn't bother you! Honest to God! And I didn't! I just figured that this guy would kill somebody if you weren't there in five minutes, and I'd rather it was you than me that died.

While Shadow killed Eclipse, Hiei threw on his uniform and found the phone that was off the hook. Kyouken was still on the line.

"Wait thirty seconds. I'm there." He hung up and indeed was at the police station in thirty seconds by foot. Kyouken was standing by Hiei's desk looking quiet perturbed.

"You're late."

"Your clocks are all fast."

"This is punishable."

"Then punish me. You can't fire me, I signed a contract. What're you gonna do, throw me in jail?"

A blood vessel in Kyouken's temple twitched.

Hiei spent the next two hours sitting in a jail cell playing cards with a serial rapist/murderer, missing his police jacket and with it, all his badges and identification. He'd been told he had no jurisdiction while in the cell. Oddly enough, Hiei happened to be the one who had caught this particular serial rapist/murderer, and the guy held no hard feelings. They played cards and Hiei learned that he was also a dishonorable cheater who rigged the deck and used to deal cards in Las Vegas, Nevada, in the United States, until he was charged with sexual harassment.

Monday morning, there was a special announcement with the normal daily bulletins.

"If all teachers would please turn on their televisions, there is a special home video to watch."

So, once the TV in Black-sensei's class was on, they waited a second, and in that second Kurama had an epiphany.

"Oh my God, Shadow, I know what this is gonna be."

And sure enough, onto the screen popped Ryu's home video that he'd filmed Friday evening while sitting across the street from Shadow's house. Shadow stared for a moment, then said, "Wow, isn't that a nice house?"

The entire class was staring at her. Her hand slapped over the still-present mark on her neck.

"What?"

"You and Jaganshi-sensei really are fuck-friends," somebody said. "That's proof!"

Shadow burst into tears. "IT'S MY TWIN, I SWEAR TO GOD! HER NAME IS FRANK AND SHE HATES THE SNOW!"

Kurama's eye twitched. He was still staring at the television. "How could she do that?"

He stuck to Shadow like glue after first period, and when the usual fangirl slut squad surrounded her at her locker, Arisa seemed very, very proud of herself.

"Well, Shuuichi, now you know the truth. Shadow Jaganshi is a slut. She's fucking a teacher!"

Shadow was totally ignoring the whole thing as she opened her locker and pulled out her science book. Kurama didn't pay attention to the giant stack of papers and empty pop bottles and orange peels in the bottom of Shadow's locker, as he normally would if he wasn't otherwise distracted.

"Shadow is still a virgin," Kurama said levelly. "It was you who put that film on the broadcast, wasn't it? You filmed it. You're a disgusting bitch, and I can't believe you would do something like that. Shadow's a wreck."

Shadow, who'd looked perfectly fine a second before, took a second to realize what he said, then suddenly burst into tears and Kurama hugged her, petting her hair and whispering comforts.

Arisa watched in horror as he escorted the sobbing girl to her next class.

"That bastard," she snarled when he was gone. "That lousy, good-for-nothing, stupid son of a bitch. He'll regret this!"

The second Shadow walked into science, she was no longer crying, but instead had several dozen pairs of eyes glued on her. Even Tayama was staring, though his was more of a disgusted glare than an awed look like most of the rest of the class was giving. He did not say a word directly about it, but instead he found ways to indirectly insult her. It didn't matter; she slept through the class anyway.

Hiei fared a bit worse. As there was no TV in the gym, his class missed the special broadcast. However, they got a special show when Yamashita came striding into the gym, went straight up to Hiei, grabbing his collar and pinning him to the wall.

"What was that!"

"Get your fucking hands off me! What was what?"

"That broadcast!"

"What broadcast!"

"The one they just showed on the television, you son of a bitch!"

"Do you see a television in here!"

"That broadcast was visual proof that you are in a relationship with one of the students here!"

At this, the class gasped and moved closer to hear better.

"What?"

"That means the rumors going around earlier this year were true. Having sex with a minor is a crime punishable by law."

Hiei wrenched out of Yamashita's grip. "What the hell are you talking about?"

And so, Yamashita had a custodian bring a television on a cart to the gym and he put in a tape. Hiei's eyes widened a bit. Okay, not quite what I'd expected her to do with it... Crafty bitch... How'd she get--

"Oh my GOD, Hiei, you have got a way with the ladies, don't you!" one boy exclaimed. "You and Shadow, gettin' it on!"

"Shut up," Hiei snapped. "I don't want to hear a word from anyone." He glared up at Yamashita. "How the hell did you get this?"

"It was in my mailbox this morning with a note on it. What have you got to say for yourself, Jaganshi?"

"First off, we've never had sex. Second, as long as we don't do anything on school property, you very well can't do shit about it, now can you?"

Yamashita gave Hiei a death glare, and Hiei returned it tenfold.

"I'll have my eye on you, Jaganshi. You put one toe out of line and you're fired." He stalked off, and the custodian wheeled away the TV. The second the gymnasium door banged shut behind them, Hiei snorted, looking at his role call sheet.

"'You put one toe out of line and you're fired,'" he mocked, chuckling to himself. "Idiot." Then he glanced at his class. "You guys don't have to do anything today. Just don't bother me, and don't kill each other."

It was quite impossible for them to bother him, because a moment after he said that, he'd tossed his clipboard into the corner and left the gym, headed down the hallway towards the stairs onto the roof. And once on the roof, he flitted off the roof and, by way of rooftops, went pretty much all the way around Tokyo, even to Yusuke's school, where he was not entirely surprised to find the boy also on the roof.

"Hiei!" he yelped when the little demon dropped out of the sky and landed beside him.

"Skipping classes again, Urameshi? Tsk. Detention."

"Like you have any room to talk! You're a teacher! Where's your class!"

"Mieou High."

"And you're here. This isn't Mieou High."

"I know."

"What's wrong?"

"I made a little plan that kind of turned into a giant mistake and now the entire school has seen a video of me and Shadow making out."

Yusuke stared. "Um..."

Hiei filled him in on the events of Friday evening and so far that morning, finishing by mocking Yamashita again and going off into a mumbled stream of curses.

"Wow," was all Yusuke could say for a moment. Then, "Isn't totally vanishing off school property putting a toe out of line?"

"Of course it is."

The boy gave him a questioning look.

"I don't care," Hiei said plainly.

"Did you come seeking my counsel, or..."

"I just came by this way is all. What class are you supposed to be in?"

The bell for second period had rung while they were talking, and Yusuke shrugged.

"I think I'm supposed to be in history. Maybe math."

"Oh. Pff. Go on and keep skipping. I've got to get back to my job, Yamashita's probably gonna come check on me any minute..." He was gone. Yusuke blinked, then settled back down in his usual spot to sleep through the next few classes until lunch, like that encounter hadn't been in the least bit odd.

Sure enough, when Hiei arrived in the gym, there was Yamashita, standing there looking impatient.

"Where were you?"

"Bathroom," Hiei lied, shrugging.

"You spent half an hour in the bathroom?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Where were you really, Jaganshi? Tell me or I'll fire you."

Hiei rolled his eyes. "I went for a walk." Sort of.

"You--"

"Look at it this way: Would you rather I went for a walk, or that I killed half the population of the school?"

"What?"

"You piss off a martial artist like me and that's what you get."

"Martial artists are supposed to be disciplined."

"I am. I went for a walk, and now I'm calm and disciplined."

"Jaganshi," the man snarled. Hiei stopped and looked over his shoulder at the man.

"What do you want? You want me to be some kind of mind-controlled slave to you or something? Never do anything you don't tell me to? Because if that's what you want, that's pretty funny."

"I expect you to act like all the other teachers."

"Ri-i-i-ight," Hiei said. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Remember, Jaganshi. One toe out of line--"

"Uh-huh," he interrupted. "Got it. One toe out of line and I'm fired. However, as you're so fond of pointing out, I don't need this job anyways."

Yamashita glared and stormed away.

Hiei and Shadow got nothing but funny looks, rude comments, and whispers behind hands for the rest of they day. Health and gym classes were especially bad. Etsuko had finally reached the point where she was devoting the entire class to discussing sex, instead of starting out talking about something and getting sidetracked into talking about sex. Topic of discussion today: foreplay.

Shadow got so sick of one especially perverted boy constantly whispering to her ("Psst! Jaganshi! You taking notes on this?" "Hey! Shadow! You and the sensei ever do that?" "Oh, God, you should have Hiei try that on you!") that she exploded in the middle of class.

"JUST BECAUSE I KISSED HIM DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE NIGHTLY PASSIONATE LOVE-MAKING SESSIONS! STOP HARASSING ME!"

Nobody spoke to her for the remainder of the class. However, just outside the door, the kid who'd been harassing her said, "So, how much of that have you tried?"

Shadow clenched her teeth, but Eclipse answered for her.

"NONE OF IT, YOU UGLY PIG! GO FUCK A COW!"

The kid was gone in a second. Shadow smiled.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome."

"That wasn't entirely true, though."

"What?"

"The 'none of it' part."

Eclipse blanched. "I don't want to know."

"What? It's harmless fun until someone gets pregnant."

"Shadow! Have you--" Kurama started, but Shadow laughed.

"Haven't I told you? I've never had sex with him!"

"It's only a matter of time, though," Eclipse sighed.

"See? Eclipse remembers what I say," the other girl snapped at Kurama.

"Okay, okay! Jeez..."

When they arrived in the gym, Yamashita was in the corner and Hiei was in the corner farthest from him, and Kurama stopped dead before he crossed the invisible line between the two. Their glares were so fierce that he had no doubt any mortal passing through Hiei's line of sight would be fried. Shadow, also sensing this, solved it by darting to Yamashita and shouting, "THE SCHOOL'S ON FIRE!" and then rushing to Hiei and kissing his neck. This distracted both of them into breaking eye contact, and the rest of the class entered safely, unaware that seconds before they would have died.

Yamashita stayed the entire class period. Just because of this, Shadow actually changed into the gym uniform and participated her ass off. They went outside and decided to play soccer, and after holding a vote, the teams were decided: Shadow, Eclipse, and Kurama versus everyone else.

Kurama played goalie while the two girls did all the work, at their own request, and they whipped butt. Coming off the field just before the end of class, Shadow and Eclipse were sweating and looked a bit exhausted, but they were grinning from ear to ear, quite pleased with their victory. Hiei congratulated them, then gave a furious glare to the rest of his class.

"You people are aware that those two girls just beat you, right?"

Some people burst into complaints about equality and how unfair it was and that Eclipse was MVP of the varsity soccer team and had been MVP of whatever soccer team she was on since she'd started playing, but Hiei silenced them all.

"ELEVEN OF YOU versus TWO GIRLS! Two teams alternated, and those two girls, without a moment of rest, beat them both into dust. What does that tell you?"

"That those two girls are aliens or something!"

"Shuuichi was an awesome goalie. How come you don't play soccer, Shuuichi?" one kid said, catching up to Kurama as they headed inside.

"I'm not really into sports," he answered, dusting off his uniform.

"I never knew you had any physical abilities at all!" the boy continued.

"Fitness of the body aides fitness of the mind."

"Really?" The kid had no idea what he'd just said. Kurama nodded.

Yamashita caught Hiei as he trailed the kids inside.

"What the hell kind of class was that?"

"They all participated, they exercised, they wore the uniform... I'd say, overall, it was a successful class. Why? Are you gonna get on my case about letting them play the game on teams of their choice? The kids picked those teams, not me."

Yamashita glared.

"And did you notice how I did not touch Shadow once in all that time?" the little demon continued. "See how she participated and challenged herself without me getting on her case? She didn't expect favoritism from me. She doesn't. She knows how to act in public and I know how to act in public. Okay? Watching my class isn't going to make her behave any differently than usual."

Once Yamashita was gone, which happened to coincide perfectly with the second Shadow entered the main gym from the locker room, Hiei was pounced on and pinned against the wall by his girlfriend and given a long kiss and hug.

"What was all that shit about knowing how to act in public?" Kurama asked quietly from right behind Shadow. She reluctantly broke the kiss and realized that most of the boys in the class were standing there staring.

"Who said that?" she asked.

"Me, to get Yamashita off my case," Hiei said. He looked at the boys, who'd now been joined by a few of the girls. "Do you have a staring problem or something?"

"Yes," one boy said. Eclipse came dancing out of the locker room, threw her arms around Kurama, and hugged him until he couldn't breathe. Every girl in the gym let out an indignant "Humph!" and spun on their heels, walking away with thier noses in the air.

"At least she didn't kiss him!" Shadow called after them. A few of the girls turned to glare just as Eclipse kissed Kurama on the cheek. They let out another indignant "Humph!" and stomped away. Shadow looked to the guys. She still had her arms around Hiei, and he had one arm around her waist.

"Are you guys mad at me?" she asked. They were mostly her fan club... they were most of the class. She did notice one guy missing, though. Ryu.

"Why would we be?" one asked arrogantly.

"Because I'm not available."

"Why should we care?"

Shadow snorted. "They're playing dumb... Like they were never drooling over my sexy body... That's the reason they lost that soccer game, you know," she said quietly. "Other than my superiority, those gym uniforms are pretty revealing."

"I couldn't help but notice," Hiei replied quietly. Kurama sighed heavily.

"C'mon, do that somewhere else!"

"What? Do what? We weren't doing anything!" Shadow complained.

"You were going to. It's enough that you refuse to stop while I'm around, but you could at least lay off while ten or fifteen other people are watching, couldn't you?"

"Of course," Hiei said. "We'll continue this later, Shadow."

"Yes sir." She kissed his cheek. "I should be getting to detention, shouldn't I?"

"Yes."

"Bye bye!"

And so, Shadow went to detention, and Hiei went home all by himself to discover Ryu Obake sitting on the porch.

Play dumb, he reminded himself. He glanced at the boy curiously as he stepped up onto the porch. "Hey."

"Hey..." Ryu replied, sounding a bit miserable. Hiei titled his head to one side.

"What's got you down?"

"I... have a confession. Could we go inside?"

"Sure..." Good kid. He unlocked the door and led them inside. Setting down the messenger bag he'd taken to carrying, he looked at Ryu. "Now... What's troubling you?"

"Um... You know... that video they showed this morning?"

Hiei darkened his expression. "Yes. What about it?"

"I... filmed that."

"What!"

"Don't be mad! Let me explain!"

"Explain what? Why would you do something like that!"

"It's... Arisa."

The fire demon stepped back a bit, looking curious and confused, yet still slightly angry. "What about her?"

"She's blackmailing me."

"Blackmailing you? To spy on me and Shadow? What the hell is she blackmailing you with!"

"Pictures... of really private things."

Hiei gave him a questioning look.

"I don't know how she got them! They're of..." He looked uncomfortable, and finally whispered it into Hiei's ear. The little demon's eyes widened.

"Jesus Christ! She got pictures of that!"

He nodded, looking uneasy. "I'm really sorry about all this, but you understand, don't you?"

"Yeah I do." He paused. "Just how fuckin' long have you been spying on us!"

"Since... um... that one time... when you got mad and went into the woods."

"Holy shit... So that's what that rumor about me and Shadow having sex in the woods came from?"

Ryu nodded, not meeting his eyes.

"That was months ago."

Another nod.

"Well, congratulations on keeping quiet for so long, but you shouldn't have done it in the first place and you know it."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm gonna stop. I swear. I'm going to Arisa tomorrow."

"She'll put those pictures all over the place, you know."

"I know. I'll have to deal with my entire world crashing down on my head..."

Hiei looked thoughtful, staring at the ground, then smirked. "Nah. Don't tell her. Keep playing along."

"What?"

"Shadow and I will deal with Slut-face."

"But, if she finds out I told you--"

"She won't find out. Believe me, we'll think of something, kid. You wanna stay here for a while? I've got to talk to Kurama."

"Wha...?"

"That whore doesn't know you're here, does she?"

"No."

"Good."

"You know her whole purpose in showing that video was to try to make Shuuichi hate you guys, don't you?"

"Really? Well it didn't work. He already knew."

"Oh..."

"She's spying on us to try to get dirt on us to make Kurama hate Shadow, right? So that she can pounce on him at some unsuspecting time of day and seduce him to her bed?"

"Um... yeah..."

"Well that's not going to happen. Now if you'll pardon me, I've got to use the phone."

"You mean... what those pictures were of... that doesn't bother you?"

"I have nothing against bisexuals." Hiei chuckled. "Excuse me." He was gone before Ryu could say anything else. Reaching Shadow's bedroom, he grabbed the phone and called Kurama. He filled the fox in on what had just happened.

"Okay... So, what's your plan?" the boy asked. Hiei shrugged, then realized Kurama couldn't see him and said, "I'm not sure." He flopped back on the bed and lay with his head on Shadow's pillow.

"She's trying to sabotage us, so I think we should sabotage her. I can't kill her here, though that would be a lot simpler... you and your damn ningen laws..."

"I didn't make the laws, Hiei."

"I know."

"So, how do you plan to sabotage her?"

"I don't know. She's after you."

"Who isn't...?" the boy muttered miserably.

"I say we either make you unavailable, or we do to her what she did to us. Put a spy on her, then have them spread rumors or something."

"Shadow?"

"Well I'm certainly not doing it. Shadow can stay completely hidden in a desert in the middle of day when there's a neon sign pointing to her."

"Nice way of putting it."

"It's true. I don't know how, but she's able to do the strangest things..."

"Obviously... Maybe she's really more powerful than we give her credit for. Maybe she's a higher class demon than even you."

Hiei laughed. "If she was, considering who she is, Earth would no longer exist."

"True enough. So she's gonna spy on Arisa? What could she possibly find out? Nobody cares about Arisa. She's a nobody except to desperate guys who want to get laid. She has no reputation to destroy... Her parents are probably drunk junkies who totally approve of her sex life."

There was a pause, then Hiei chuckled again. "You're a judgemental, stereotyping bastard, Kurama."

"Thanks," he replied sarcastically. "You can just perfect your plan alone if you're going to be like that."

"Sorry. Okay. Let's think."

There was a pause. Kurama sighed. "I'm not good at being evil high-school style."

"Shadow is. We'll talk to her. But we're going to ruin that slut's life no matter what it takes. Just because she's a bitch and I haven't got to torture anyone for a long time..." He sighed longingly. "I'd like to go back to Makai, just to find some worthy demon, get pissed at him, and kill him slowly and painfully. Maybe he'll have a lot of followers so I can whip their asses too."

"Remember what you said a long time ago, Hiei? The only thing keeping you in Ningenkai is Shadow."

"So?"

"Just saying."

"Well don't. She is the only reason I'm still here, and most of the reason I haven't told Koenma to shove it when he calls me for a case."

"That's sweet."

"Shut up."

"Okay."

The fox didn't say another word. Finally, Hiei sighed. "You're useless. I guess we'll just have to wait until Shadow gets home."

"Very good, then."

"Fine. Bye."

"Ja mata."

They hung up, and Hiei rolled over, putting his face into Shadow's pillow and inhaling deeply. A smile graced his lips and he made himself comfortable, shortly falling asleep.

He awoke to a shriek some hours later.

"YOU DID WHAT!"

Well... Shadow was playing along, too. That was good.

Seconds later, there were thudded footsteps up the stairs and the bedroom door flew open. Shadow lunged in and tackled him, rolling him off the bed. They landed on the floor, Shadow pinning him.

"Ryu was spying on us! Can you believe that!"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Shadow blinked and looked up at the bed. "You were laying in my place."

"Mm-hm. It smells good. It smells like you."

"Oh. Well thank you!"

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"You woke me up."

"I'm so very sorry."

She had him pinned to the floor, but he smiled anyway.

"What do you say we continue our conversation now?"

The girl thought for a moment, then smiled. "Okay... Sounds like a plan to me, koishii." She leaned down and kissed him. "Want me to dress up in skimpy clothes and do erotic dances?"

"No, Shadow. That isn't necessary."

"Ah, darn. I guess I'll just find other ways to turn you on."

"You're good at that."

"Why thank you!" Her hands were roaming over his chest. "I really do try."

"Mm-hm..." he murmured, distracted with her movements. "I love you."

"Oh yeah?" She pulled off his shirt. "Even though I torment you?"

"I'll get back at you eventually. Just wait until next year."

"What's next year?"

"When you won't have that wretched New Year's resolution."

Shadow grinned. "Oh yeah. So you're already planning for that, huh?"

Hiei shivered at her touch. "It's hard to keep my mind off it when you're touching me like this."

She smiled. "I could do worse."

Somebody in the doorway cleared his throat.

"Mother fuckin' son of a bitch," Hiei snarled, sitting up to peer over the bed at... Kurama. "What the hell are you doing here, you stupid bastard? Can't you see we're in the middle of something?"

"Well you're in a good mood... and no, I can't really see... The bed's in the way. Are you decent?"

"Asshole," Hiei hissed under his breath, grabbing his shirt as Shadow moved off his waist. He stood, glaring at the redhead. "How long were you there?"

Kurama tilted his head to the side. "From about the point where you said you loved her."

Hiei thought for a second, then let out an annoyed noise. "You bastard!"

Kurama smiled. "What? At least I didn't walk in on her 'doing worse'... I have some ideas about what that may be, Shadow, and I say you should play around with pants on rather than off until--"

"I don't want safe sex lectures from you, fox!" Shadow snapped.

"Jeez... I learned something... Interrupting the two of you while you're torturing each other is a bad idea."

"Congratulations, you're a fuckin' genius," Hiei muttered, pulling on his shirt. "What do you want?"

"I'm not talking to you until you stop snarling and cussing."

"Hn."

Shadow kissed Hiei's cheek. "I'm gonna go make dinner." She lowered her voice, "We'll make up for this later."

That cheered Hiei up a bit. Kurama sighed and stood aside for Shadow to leave the room, then frowned at Hiei.

"Hiei... You really should watch it with her."

"Don't lecture me," he groaned, laying back on the bed.

"I'm serious. I know you have good control and everything, but even you have a breaking point, and when your need becomes unbearable--"

"I'm not going to rape her, you idiotic fox."

The boy continued frowning, but he laid off. "Alright... Just don't do anything you'll regret."

"I'm getting sex lectures from you, Kurama?"

The boy sighed and left, seeing Hiei was a hopeless case and would do what he wanted and not take advice on his relationship. He didn't even bother asking if Hiei had spoken to Shadow about totally ruining Arisa; it was obvious he hadn't.

Dinner was awkward. All throughout it, Shadow occasionally cast a glare at Ryu, and Kurama occasionally cast a suspicious look at Hiei and Shadow (who sat side by side within easy under-the-table access to each other), Hiei occasionally cast a dirty look at Kurama for casting suspicious looks at him, and Ryu kept his eyes on his plate and ate his food in silence, feeling ashamed and out of place among the people he'd betrayed.

Finally, when dinner was over and Shadow had cleaned up, they sat around the table and Hiei told Shadow and Ryu what he'd decided. They would ruin her life. Shadow was all for it. Ryu didn't seem all that displeased with the idea either. As a matter of fact, he brightened considerably.

"Pranks are my strong point," he said, grinning a bit.

"Pissing people off is mine," Shadow gloated. "If ruining her life pisses her off, I can do it."

"Great," Hiei said. "If you get any ideas, tell me. I'll arrange everything I can."

"YOU'RE RUINING SOMEBODY'S LIFE AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME?"

Everyone jumped as Eclipse came flying into the room and tackled Shadow, shouting, "You BITCH!"

"It wasn't me, it was all Hiei, I swear to God, kill him!"

Eclipse stood up and rounded on Hiei with a spiked club.

"Shadow, you backstabbing--"

But Shadow jumped on Eclipse's back before he could finish his insult and started pulling her hair.

"YOU DARE TO ATTACK MY HIEI?"

"They'll be at it for a while," Hiei sighed. He got up and left. Kurama blinked, but shrugged and went after him. Ryu, not knowing what else to do, also followed.

They still hadn't stopped attempting murder by the time Hiei had to go to work. They were outside, jumping around randomly like crazed rabid monkies with sticks and hitting each other. Hiei paused on the porch, and realized that every crack! of stick impacting skull (or similar body part) seemed musical, like a dance beat of some sort. He shook his head. Only those two girls could beat each other up musically. It was a wonder they hadn't made up words to go along with it. Maybe they had and they were just at an intstumental break in the song.

"HALT!" Shadow called. Eclipse froze in mid-jump and fell to the ground with a thud as her opponent turned and ran to Hiei, calling his name. He stopped and braced himself to be tackled. Shadow just threw herself into his arms, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him. "I thought of something!"

"Wow, really? How could you think with so many impacts to your skull?"

"I don't need my brain to think, silly. Anyways, I got some ideas for destroying Slut-face's life!"

"Well? Let's hear it."

"You know, of course, that Valentine's Day is coming up."

"Yes, you told me about that."

"Well, you see, everyone gives Kurama stuff on Valentine's Day, since it's tradition here for the girls to give the guys something, then in March, the guys give something to whoever gave them something, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, you see, Kurama usually gives the blessing of his presence, perhaps a smile, a 'thanks', or a brush in the hallway. But I think we should send Arisa an anonymous box of chocolates."

Hiei tilted his head a bit. "And...?"

"It should have ARSENIC in it! SHE'LL DIE!"

"We're not allowed to kill, koishii. Koenma will put us in prison."

"Ah, fuck. Well, then..." She thought for a moment. "Ex-lax."

"Isn't that..."

"For constipation, yes. She won't leave the bathroom for HOURS!"

Hiei laughed darkly. "You're evil."

"Don't you love me?" she asked mischeviously.

"Yes, I do. If you're finished with your little... spar... why don't you go in and tell Ryu that." He said 'spar' skeptically because Shadow was covered from head to toe in bruises, blood, and sweat, and spars aren't typically supposed to end up like that.

"Yes, we're finished here," Shadow said. "I've got a few more ideas, too, though!"

Hiei kissed her cheek. "Yeah, but I've gotta get to work or Kyouken will have a seizure and hire the Underground to kidnap and rape me. See you in the morning."

He darted off. After a second, he slowed to a leisurely walk, hands in his pockets. After another second, he became aware that he was being followed. A glance over his shoulder and he identified his stalker.

"You could at least wait until a weekend to kill me, moron," he said, turning. "That way, you'll have more time to hire a new gym teacher. Why do you insist on trying to murder me, anyways?"

A few more people stepped out from another alleyway and Hiei was shortly surrounded.

"That'd make a nice headline... 'Principal of Mieou High Arrested for Murder and Mob Connections.' You really should learn the art of stealth. I'm not going to beat the shit out of all you on my way to a fuckin' police station."

"Good," one man behind him said. "We'll just beat the shit out of you, then."

"Go for it," Hiei challenged. He let the men jump at him, dodging towards the nearest alley between two buildings. Once he was 'cornered' between the buildings and a fence, he jumped onto the fence, pulled himself to stand on the top, then flicked his eyes around before dodging projectiles that shattered on the walls as he went from the fence to a nearby windowsill.

"Kill him!" Yamashita ordered. The other men pulled out guns and Hiei swore loudly. Dodging bullets was certainly inhuman, but he wasn't about to let himself be shot, so he jumped over their heads and landed on the opposite wall, ran along it for a short length, then hit the ground running and rounded the corner into the street. He didn't stop running until he reached the police station.

Hanshin looked at him curiously as he plopped down heavily at his desk.

"What's up?"

"Another attempt on my life."

"Another!"

"Months ago, the principal of Mieou high school tried to kill me. He just tried again, only this time, he had some of his buddies with him."

Hanshin stared. "Woah. That's pretty cool. How'd you get away?"

"They're wimps."

"And you're kick-ass. Got it. They know you're a cop, right?"

"Yeah."

"How come you don't do something about it, then?"

"I will. When the end of the school year comes around, Yamashita will regret screwing with me and my friends."

After a short while, Kyouken came out of his office and went to Hiei's desk.

"Jaganshi. You know annual physicals are soon."

"Physicals?"

"Yes. It will require a visit to the dentist, doctor, and psychiatrist."

Hiei glared, taking the folder containing the stack of stapled papers the bastard held out for him.

"I require all these forms back ASAP. In your case, you have a month."

Hiei bristled. "By your phrasing, I assume everyone else has more time?"

"Of course."

The little demon glared, but said nothing. Now he had to find a doctor he could bribe into filling out his forms without doing any tests. He'd be told he had problems with his heart, since it wasn't beating; he'd be told he was a hell of a healthy corpse, and sent on to goverment for DNA tests and anal probings. After all, the government is the one who did the anal probings, not the aliens.

Looking a bit irritated, he stuffed the papers in a drawer and set to thinking.

Meanwhile, back home, Shadow had revealed a whole slew of plots and plans and pranks she'd thought of while having her brains bashed out with a tree branch. They'd selected a few that spelled the most disaster, and were perfecting them without Hiei's help.

Bet you weren't expecting that about Ryu, were you? I wasn't either when I wrote it, but it's not damaging the story in any way for him to be bisexual, so if you're gonna complain, I don't want to hear it. I happen to know a bunch of gays/bisexuals and I have absolutely nothing wrong with them.

I was gonna put another note in here, but I totally forget what it is. Oh yeah! Thanks for 500 reviews! That's not the note I was gonna put in here, but I'll put it there anyways. Oh yeah! And there was foreshadowing in this chapter that I bet NONE of you caught!
And Kurama and Eclipse kissed! Granted, it was a strange reason, but if he hadn't, she would have pitched a fit and nobody would have heard the end of it, ever. So yay for that. Yay for updates. Yay for ningen mobs making attempts to take Hiei's life! Yay for ruining lives and tricks and lies and physicals!
If I ever start putting Japanese words in these chapters and forget to put notes, just tell me... It isn't odd to me to see Japanese words... But it might be odd to you cuz you don't know them.

SJ