Osaka would be the first to admit that she wasn't always in touch with reality. But no matter how fanciful she became, she was never delusional… er, right? Up until about ten minutes ago, she had been certain that Mothra, the Shobijin, the space demon and all of it were as real as that damn letter opener. But now…

When she tried to explain herself to Yomi, she realized how stupid her story actually was. Seriously, though, Ayumu Kasuga holding the Guardian of Earth? Her? She could hardly take care of herself! And why Birth Island? How would she even get there? Yeah, okay… she'd drag her wounded, directionally-challenged ass all the way to Sendai and catch a ferry. No ferry? Fine, she could limp across the damn ocean, too!

"So stupid," Osaka whispered, biting back tears.

Yomi glanced at her uncomfortably. They'd reached the park, and she still had no more insight into what ailed her friend than when they'd started. Unfortunately, Osaka was so used to the Bespectacled One's severe nature that she wasn't very forthcoming… the poor girl would feel like an idiot talking to her about it no matter how gentle she tried to be!

This was a job for Chiyo-chan.

Tomo sprinted ahead and scattered some pigeons, ignored by both, though Osaka might have smirked a little at the wildcat's whooping glee. It was a good thing Tomo didn't have a stick or any other blunt implement because the next thing her eyes, still wild from bird-hunting, fell on was the approaching Chiyo-chan.

"Look out!" Tomo yelled, though the warning coming an instant too late for the younger girl to avoid her. With a startled squeal, Chiyo tumbled across the park's lush grass, stopping just short of a concrete walk. "Sorry about that," her attacker called cheerfully, "You're okay, though!" And before she could respond, Chiyo was jerked to her feet and given a healthy push towards the others.

"Huh," Yomi muttered, "Maybe Tomo's acting a little too normal…"

"Oh… hey, Chiyo-chan," Osaka greeted in mellow surprise. "How's it goin'?"

"I'm fine," Chiyo replied, casting an annoyed glance back at Tomo, "But are you all right, Ms. Osaka? I heard you were having a really bad day."

"Well, guess I am a little sick, but 'part from that…" Osaka shrugged, looking lost.

Chiyo gave her a hug, thereby unleashing her ultimate secret weapon. For when one is hugged by Chiyo-chan, it is physically impossible not to hug her back, and extremely difficult not to feel at least a little bit better about the world and your place in it. "Why don't we sit for a while? Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I… I guess so." Osaka sat down on a bench next to the prodigy, letting out a great sigh and sagging heavily. The fever was starting to show as a faint flush in her cheeks, mirroring the pinkish tinge spreading through her egg. Bizarrely, Chiyo didn't even seem to notice the thing, in spite of the fact that it was fast approaching football size.

Yomi surreptitiously pulled her best friend away. They'd only be able to screw things up, now.

"It started… with the two little tiny magical women."

"Two tiny magical women?" the Keeper snorted. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"Do you want me to tell you or not?" Xandra replied impatiently.

"Sorry, go ahead. But keep working. Those scales aren't going to clean themselves!"

"Yes, brother." She didn't even bother to ask how he could tell that she'd stopped in the inky darkness. He seemed to have supernatural senses when it came to their colossal pet. "They told me that they represented the guardian of Earth, something called Mothra… they told me that what we're doing is wrong, and that Mothra would fight us."

"Mothra, eh? Sounds like a big insect or something."

Xandra smiled a little. "I asked them what they would do if we flew in with a great big galactic bug-zapper, but they just got kinda huffy. They said I had to help them, because Ghidora here is a ravenous space-demon that we can't hope to control and when he awakens he'll try to extinguish all life in the solar system and…"

"And all of this was a dream you had?" her brother asked sharply.

"Sorry," Xandra paused in her work. "I mean, I trust you and Xolarus, brother, I do! I don't know why I'd have a dream like that. So, the little women said all of that, then they told me that I had to save the world and nobody else could."

"You? Huh! And Xond put a gun to your head just for that! Jerk got what he paid for, eh?"

"It's not funny, brother! That bloody traumatized me!"

"Right, sorry. I'm sorry. And get back to work!"

Xandra sighed. "Yes, brother."

"You know, Xan, I'm relieved. It turns out that this vaunted guardian…"

"…couldn't possibly be real. I… I don't know what… what…" Osaka trailed off and looked at the ground miserably. "I was so sure. God…"

Chiyo patted her arm. "It's okay, Ms. Osaka. We've all-"

"But you don't understand! It was… it was worse than when I had the dream I murdered you with a katana! I've been running around thinking that, that… oh, God, I'm such a…" She put a hand over her eyes. "sniff! Even if any o' this was true, there's no way I could pull it off. Who'd trust th' fate of the world to sniff! a st- a stupid little weakling like me?"

"Ms. Osaka, don't talk like that!" Chiyo pleaded, still blinking from what her friend had said earlier. Murdered with a katana? "Please! It'll be all right!"

Osaka smiled bitterly. "Y' sound like you're tryin' to convince yourself."

"Well…" the prodigy didn't know what to say. For all her brilliance, emotional matters still left her in a bind. "I mean, just because… uh…"

"So much for your specialist," Tomo whispered, sounding almost happy about it. Yomi looked at her spitefully, but didn't respond. "You know, my little sister gets like that all the time. I know just what to do."

"Wait a second!" Yomi protested as the Takinator started towards them. Oh, no, what solution would Tomo bring to bear? And more importantly, would Osaka's health insurance cover whatever injuries the wildcat idiot's "help" caused? Yomi cringed, waiting for pandemonium to break loose…

"I know what'll cheer you up," Tomo said gently, as if to a child. She sat down next to Osaka and put an arm over her shoulder, resting her forehead against the other girl's so that they were eye to eye. "I have GTA Tokyo at home and I was waiting to let you give it a try, whaddaya say? We can steal a Triad's car, run some people over, shoot up a fast food joint, start a gang war or two, eh? Sound like fun?"

There was no response.

"I even found the samurai sword. I had a chance to get a chainsaw instead, but I knew how much you love playing with swords…"

"Potato chips," Osaka suddenly said.

Everybody else blinked, but Tomo didn't miss a beat. "I forgot to brush my teeth after lunch, sorry. Now c'mon, there's no reason to mope around here, right?"

Almost against her will, Osaka was drawn to her feet. "Sorry for worrying you guys…" she apologized softly, "I'm just a li'l… overwrought."

"Don't worry about it," Chiyo said kindly, "We under… oh!" She laid her hand against Osaka's forehead. "Goodness, you're on fire!"

"You're not a lesbian, too, are you?" Osaka asked in long-suffering tones.

"Ms. Osaka, you should see a doctor!"

"Ah… it's just a little temperature. Y'know what they say, 'starve a fever, drown a cold.' Or is that, 'drown a fever, starve a cold'?"

"Wasn't there a headache in there?" Tomo asked.

"Yeah, I think you're right. 'Starve a fever, eat a headache'?"

"Well," Yomi sighed, "They're back to normal."

So the friends set out as Tomo and Osaka wrangled. When they made it to 'eat a fever, shoot the hiccups with a twelve-guage', Yomi decided to step in. Just as she opened her mouth, though, Chiyo tugged on her sleeve. "Ms. Yomi?"

"Yeah?"

"Something just occurred to me. When she showed us the egg this morning, it was a lot smaller. How could it have grown unless…?"

"Osaka!" a high-pitched voice called sharply. They turned as one to see Kaori rushing towards them, looking more than just a li'l overwrought. She pushed rudely past Yomi and grabbed Osaka by her shoulders, panting for breath. "Thank God I found you!"

"Uh… what can I do for ya?"

"You're the only person who'd believe me! Listen:" She swallowed and drew a deep breath. "The aliens took Ms. Sakaki!"

The girls all stood in stunned silence for nearly a minute. So great was their shock that, of all people, Osaka was the first to recover. "Ha!" she cried. "I'm not insane after all!" When she started laughing, Kaori socked her in the eye.

Meanwhile, in the astral plane, the Shobijin conferred.

"So, that's it? We're sure now?"

"Yep."

"The machinery of fate broke down? This Ayumu Kasuga clearly, definitely, unequivocally is not the Soul of Light?"

"Yep."

…

"We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Yep."