(6-24-05) Look kids! I'm updating less than a week after my last update! Because I'm so happy! My review count jumped from 698 to 757 from Sunday night to Friday (today)evening. That's excellent. Of course, I didn't get nearly 60 reviews on just this chapter... My dear friend Eclipse FINALLY decided to review my story, and she reviewed every chapter... So I come back from my dad's house to find 84 emails waiting for me. Most of them review/update alerts.
A note to my more... squeamish readers: Sorry about the groping thing in the last chapter... XD I figured I'd get complaints on that, but I forgot to warn you. I will warn you on this chapter. There is some stuff in here you'll probably complain about. But, I'm gonna up the rating, just to cover my own ass. Heh heh... yeah...
Anyways, so I apologize for the way Shadow's been acting. But it's not all my fault. I told you a long time ago that she's been writing most of this story, not me.
But, just to warn you, there is more stuff in here some of you will probably object to. Not quite like last chapter, cuz I mean this is all for humor... That thing last chapter was not for humorous purposes... That was for... uh... tormenting Hiei... and to test how much tolerance I hadfor writing that stuff.
Oh, and I'm proud to announce a short appearance by a character from "Work Sucks"... This is the only chapter he's in... But he's in it and that's all that matters. Read to find out who. I bet you can't handle the suspense.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Audition
A few hours later, after Youko had been successfully suppressed, Kurama, Shadow, and Hiei arrived at the high school auditorium for Shadow's audition.
"Now, this is serious, Shadow. I know you're really going to be tempted to act stupid, but... Please don't."
"I won't."
"You promise?"
"I swear."
"On...?"
"On... Karasu's life."
"That's not valid."
"Fine then. I swear on your life."
"That's not valid either."
"Why not!"
"Swear on Hiei's or your life."
"Fine, you asshole. But if it's forced, it doesn't mean anything. I swear on my life that I will not act like a jackass and totally flug up any hopes of putting on this freaky Spanish guy's play."
Kurama didn't bother commenting as he led her up to where Tamura-sensei was waiting on stage.
"Shuuichi, you have the lines memorized, correct?" the woman asked.
"Naturally... The play is in two weeks."
"My birthday's in two weeks, then, too!" Shadow said happily.
"Would you like the script, Jaganshi-san?" Tamura asked. Shadow took the offered papers and skimmed through them.
"Nope, this is the same as the one I memorized. I could do a Shakespearean monologue." She started spouting off lines in a projected theatrical voice, dancing around the stage and facing different directions as she altered her voice for each character. Kurama sighed.
"I'm sorry, Tamura-sensei... I told her to behave." He couldn't say 'She's not normally like this,' since she was normally some number of times worse than this.
"No, this is excellent!" Tamura said excitedly. Shadow stopped suddenly, tripping and falling on her face.
"You mean you actually thought that was good!" She got up, grinning. "Then my real acting will blow you away."
Hiei settled into a seat in the front row as Tamura instructed, "Okay, why don't you do the balcony scene!"
Though the words made next to no sense to Hiei, seeing Shadow act was a bit unnerving. Both her and Kurama were very good at it, and it was like he was really watching a yearning young couple speaking gibberish on a balcony.
When they finished with their particular scene, Tamura-sensei let out an ecstatic scream.
"She's wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!" She ran over to Shadow and hugged her, then hugged Kurama. "Our production will go on as scheduled! Thank you, so, so much! Oh, excuse me! I have to go notify everyone! Are you available tonight? We could call a special rehearsal to meet our new cast member!"
"We're available," Kurama said shakily, a bit overwhelmed by her complete ecstacy over such a simple thing as Shadow Jaganshi. Though he had to admit, she'd done an excellent job.
"Six o'clock? We could order pizza and have a party!"
Shadow was standing there, her face expressionless, blinking occasionally as Tamura rushed around excitedly.
"Um... sounds good..." Kurama managed.
"Great! Excellent! Wait until they hear about this! Ohhh, they'll be so happy!" She rushed off. The trio stood there for a moment, complete silence settling over the auditorium. Finally, Shadow broke it.
"I told you she'd be blown away, didn't I?"
Kurama nodded. "Yes, you did, Shadow."
Hiei hopped up onto the stage and looked at the two for a minute before stating, "That was really weird."
"I told you already, Hiei, that just because we're friends doesn't make this any different than any other--"
"I heard you the first time you said it, fox. Point is: you, Shadow, are a really good actress."
"Why thank you, koishii. It came in handy in Makai."
"And you're good too, Kurama."
"Thank you for remembering I exist," the redhead muttered.
"Oh, shut up. I spent the last few hours being harassed by your stupid alter identity." He looked at them both. "It's weird to see you guys acting so emotional towards each other."
"Key word: 'acting.'"
"I couldn't understand barely a word you said, though. Do I have to, to understand the play?"
"No," Kurama said. "Not really."
"Overview: Romeo and Juliet love each other, but they can't be together because her family hates his and his hates hers, so they have this like, secret love affair thing going on, and when something happens and they can't be together, they kill themselves. The end," Shadow summarized.
"Or something like that," the redhead added.
"Secret love affair?" Hiei questioned.
"We'll have to kiss a few times, I think. That's it, koishii," the girl murmured, hugging Hiei. "Don't feel so bad..."
"I don't feel bad."
"Oh, yes you do, it's written all over your highly expressive and adorable face." She kissed his cheek. "Don't worry. You know I'll always love you."
"I know."
"Good. Because if you didn't know that, I'd have to beat it into your head."
"Ahem!" Kurama snapped, clearing his throat rather unsubtly. "Save the mushy crap for the bedroom."
"You're such a spoilsport, Kurama. Can we do it in the back of your car as you drive us home?" Shadow asked.
"No."
"You're no fun."
"Oh, I'm sure he's plenty of fun," Hiei said. "Just not with us."
"Yeah, because he's subconsciously still holding a grudge 'cause you got to me before Youko..."
"I'm sure that's exactly it," the fire demon agreed sarcastically. Kurama rolled his eyes.
"Believe me, Shadow, I think you're a lot better off with Hiei then you would be with Youko Kurama."
"Oh, I know I am," she said. "Youko doesn't think that, though. I could give Eclipse lessons on the pleasure points of a man's body, and she could pleasure Youko so he changes his mind."
"I'm not letting Eclipse anywhere near Youko."
"Why not? He needs laid."
"We're not going to go there."
"Do you know how difficult it must be for him?" the girl persisted as Kurama left the stage and headed for the exit. "He used to have sex nearly every night, and now he's gone seventeen--nearly eighteen--years without! Do you know how difficult that is, for him to see me in a bikini and see me making out with Hiei and hear about sex and pleasure and he can't even touch himself?"
"OKAY Shadow, I get the idea! But I'm not going to have sex with Eclipse just for him!"
"Then have sex with Hiei!"
"I'm not going to have sex with Hiei! Or you!"
"Let Youko have sex with Hiei!"
"I love the way you whore me off," Hiei muttered. Shadow kissed his cheek.
"I would never whore you off. You know you'd like it."
"You know, I do consider you my mate, and since I have a mate, I'm technically not permitted to go screw around with anyone else. Especially not Youko Kurama."
"Why especially not Youko?"
"Because he's gross."
"But he's sexy."
"He's got to be a living STD."
"Youko doesn't have STDs," Kurama said.
"He's still gross."
"I think he's hot," Shadow reminded casually.
"He can be gross and attractive at the same time, but it doesn't change the fact that he's gross."
"You just said he was attractive! You think he's hot!"
"I said he's attractive, not that I'm attracted to him."
"Uh-huh... Whatever, Hiei..."
Kurama put up with this all the way back to Shadow's house, where, upon arrival, he went to his room and sealed himself inside, refusing to acknowledge the couple's existence until he had to take Shadow to the cast party later that evening.
They hadn't been home long before the phone rang. Agitatedly, Hiei reached to Shadow's bedside and picked up her portable phone. Hitting the 'on' button, he grumpily answered. A voice he thought was somewhat familiar replied on the other end.
"Moshi moshi... Jaganshi-sensei?"
"Hai... Who am I speaking to?"
"This is Tashiro Igarashi, from Mieou High."
"Oh. Can I help you?"
Shadow glanced over her shoulder at him, but he wasn't paying attention to her. She went back to her video games, but adjusted the volume so she could try to listen to the conversation better.
"Yes. I was told I could find Shuuichi Minamino at your house?"
"Yeah, he's here."
"And Shadow?"
"Yes."
Shadow had heard her name, and was now on full alert.
"Well, I was wondering... I know Shadow would be willing, but... Well, do you know about our talent show?"
"No."
"Well, every year we have a talent show near the end of the year. Would you and Shuuichi be interested in hosting it? Shadow, too, of course."
"I know Shadow would..." He covered up the receiver. "Koi, go fetch the fox."
"Who is it and what are you talking about me for?"
"I'll tell you in a minute. Go get the fox."
Shadow sighed and paused her game, getting up and doing some sort of odd skippy walking dance out of the room and down the hall.
"Hold on. She went to get Shuuichi," Hiei told Tashiro. "I'll talk to them."
"Alright."
Kurama was dragged into the room a minute later.
"Now tell me," Shadow demanded.
"It's Tashiro Igarashi, vice principal from school. He's wondering if we'd like to host the talent show this year."
"YES!" Shadow said, jumping up and down waving around her arms. "OH! YES! ME! ME!"
"I told you she'd agree," Hiei muttered into the phone. Tashiro was laughing.
"I don't know about me..." Kurama muttered.
"You're doing it," Shadow commanded. "You too, Hiei. I demand it."
"Well, apparently I'm doing it..." the fire demon told Tashiro.
"Minamino?" Shadow said in the same commanding voice, hands on her hips.
"How will I benefit?"
"You'll get the pleasure of hearing hundreds of girls scream your name from the audience. The school will make a shitload of money when the girls find out you're hosting it! And when the guys find out I'm hosting it! I bet the entire school will go because we're sexy!"
Kurama couldn't help but laugh at that. It was probably true. The talent show was performed in the evening, after school hours, and there was a small fee. He was sure the majority of the girls would pay that to see him up on stage and hear his voice.
"What exactly will it entail?" the fox asked.
"What's he gonna have to do?" Hiei paraphrased.
"Well, you'll have cards to read the different acts and people from... The hosts only need to be at a couple practices... Unless you want to sign up an act? We've still room for a few more."
"YES!" came Shadow's voice over the phone. Hiei flinched.
"Shadow, get off the phone."
"I wanna sign up an act! I wanna sign up an act!"
"Well... What would you like to do?" Tashiro asked.
"I don't know. I'll think about that."
"You? Think? It's the apocolypse," Hiei taunted.
"Shut up or I'll bite off your ear!"
"Through the phone?"
"Yes!"
Tashiro cleared his throat. Hiei silenced instantly. "Yes?"
"Will Shuuichi agree?"
"You gonna do it, fox?" Hiei asked.
"Once you tell me what he told you I'll have to do."
"We have to go to a few practices and read some cards. You wanna sign up an act?"
"No. But I guess I'll host it..."
"He'll do it," Hiei said into the phone.
"Excellent. Now, there was another matter I wanted to discuss with him and Shadow and also... Eclipse Shinomori, whom I believe is also a friend of yours?"
"I suppose you could say that."
"I'll talk to them Monday morning. Tell them that if they could please come to my office when they arrive at school on Monday, I would appreciate it."
"I'll tell them."
"And make sure Shadow gets back to me about her act in the talent show. It'd be best if I knew what it was on Monday as well, so we can get everything set."
"Okay."
"Your first talent show practice will be on Wednesday."
"All right."
"Thank you for your time."
"No problem."
"Sayonara."
"Sayonara."
Hiei hung up and looked at Kurama. "He wants you, Shadow, and Eclipse to go to his office first thing Monday morning, and our first practice for the talent show will be Wednesday. Are you sure you don't want to sign up an act? 'Shuuichi Minamino on gardening techniques' or 'I can grow flowers better than you!'"
"Shut up," Kurama said without any real force in his voice. Shadow appeared in the doorway.
"Eclipse is gonna sign up and act with me and guess who else is!"
"Who?" Hiei asked half-heartedly.
"You!"
"Am not!"
"Yeah you are! We're gonna do that sword fighty demonstration thingy your classes keep asking for!"
"No we aren't."
"Yes we are. You can't argue with me. You love me."
"I may love you, but that doesn't stop me from arguing. It's not like you're my God."
"No, I'm your lord and master."
"Yeah, whatever."
"If you don't agree, I'll chain you up and abstain from touching you until you agree."
"Yeah, I bet you will."
Shadow jumped on him and next thing he knew, his wrists were chained to the bed. He yelped.
"Kurama! Help me! I'm chained to the bed!"
"That sounds like a personal problem to me," the fox answered, leaving the room.
"He's gone!" Shadow said, doing a spin kick to shut the door behind him. She lunged from the door to the bed, landing on her hands and knees above Hiei.
"Um..."
"Can I rape you, Hiei?"
His eyes widened. "I'd really rather you didn't."
"Can I sexually molest you, Hiei?"
"I'd really rather you didn't right now..."
"Can I fondle you?"
"Wouldn't that fit in the sexual molestation category?"
"Uh... I dunno. Would it?" She sat back, straddling his hips.
"Shadow, could you please take these handcuffs off?"
"No. I kinda like seeing you chained up."
"That's nice. Unchain me or I break them."
"You break 'em, you buy 'em."
"Shadow! Take them off!"
"Nope."
"KURAMA! KURAMA, I KNOW YOU'RE STILL OUT THERE! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! SHE'S GONNA RAPE ME!"
"That's not my problem, Hiei!" Kurama called through the door.
"SEE! YOU ARE OUT THERE! SHE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!"
"AND YOU'LL LIKE IT! NOW STOP WHINING!" Eclipse shouted.
"YOU--Mmph!"
Shadow muffled his yells with a kiss, her hands slipping up his shirt.
"I think the silence is bad," Kurama muttered to Eclipse outside the door.
"Me too. Should we check?"
"In a minute."
Exactly 60 seconds later, Kurama eased open the door and peeked inside. The sight that greeted him caused him the jump back with surprise. A red eye was staring right back at him from the tiny space.
Shadow cracked up laughing and opened the door the rest of the way.
"Poor fox! You thought you'd catch us screwing!" She pointed to Hiei. "I kissed him, then gagged him."
The poor little demon was still chained to the bed, only now he had the addition of a cloth gag in his mouth.
"Oh, that's really a little excessive," Eclipse muttered. "I mean, I understand that you fantasize about chaining him to your bed naked and screwing him senseless, but you could at least take off the poor guy's shirt... He's got to feel jipped..."
Shadow walked over to Hiei and looked at him. "Well I'd have to unchain him to get it off..."
"Rip it," Kurama suggested.
"I'm not strong enough to do that!"
"Uh-huh... Try."
Shadow did try. She grabbed a handful of Hiei's shirt and pulled an tugged and tugged and pulled, but it wouldn't rip. Kurama sighed, grabbed the shirt, and tore it off Hiei's body.
Though muffled, Hiei's exclaimation was still comprehensible.
"HOLY SHIT!" He started struggling against the chains.
Shadow pulled the gag out of his mouth.
"What was that?"
"I can put up with you ripping off my shirt, but when Kurama starts tearing off my clothes, I'm a little worried!"
"Oh, you know you liked it," Eclipse taunted.
Shadow straddled Hiei to stop him from struggling further and began kissing and licking his chest. Eventually, once the little demon had relaxed (er... yeah), Kurama cleared his throat. The black-haired girl glanced at him.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want a go?" she asked.
"Shadow...!" Hiei whined pathetically.
"Oh, Hiei... You know I'd never let Kurama sexually molest you..." She kissed his lips gently.
"Right, that's why you were just standing there staring that time Youko was touching my bare chest..."
"That was funny..."
"Right, whatever..."
"Kuwabara has touched your butt before."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah! You know. All those times you passed out cuz of the Kokuryuu ha, he was the one who carried you around afterwards. He's touched your butt... and your legs... your back..."
Hiei was sent into a violent fit of shudders.
"Probably your chest... If he was ever alone with you, he probably would have tried kissing you while you slept--"
"SHADOW, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, SHUT UP!"
"I don't love God or anything holy, unless it's me we're talking about."
"Yes! Yes, it's you, you're God and we love you so you have to stop talking about me being molested by that OAF!"
"What about Kuwabara molesting people?"
"HOLY SHIT!" Hiei yelped as Yusuke and none other than Kuwabara appeared in the doorway.
"JESUS CHRIST! Hiei's chained to the bed!"
"Kurama ripped off his shirt," Shadow informed them.
"Holy Hell, Kurama! I never knew you swung that way!"
"Yusuke...!"
"Hiei is very horny right now," the girl continued.
"Oh yeah?"
"No I'm not!"
"Oh yeah," Shadow repeated. "Very, very horny. He was just thinking of Kuwabara touching him."
Kuwabara let out a girly shriek and passed out, while Hiei curled up into a little ball to try to shield his half nakedness. Shadow chuckled and draped herself over him.
"I'm sorry, koishii," she murmured, kissing his cheek. He turned his head away.
"Unchain me right now."
"You made him mad," Yusuke noted intelligently. Shadow obediently unlocked the cuffs and Hiei turned to glare at her.
"I'm sorry," she said pathetically.
"Get off me."
"Don't be mad."
"I'm mad. Get up."
She obeyed and he got up and stalked out of the room. The girl took off after him, flinging herself down and grabbing his pants leg.
"I'm sorry, Hiei! I'm really really sorry! I'll never chain you up again and have Kurama tear off your shirt while insinuating that Kuwabara lusts after your unconscious half naked body! I won't! I promise!"
"Let go."
"Wow. She really pissed him off," Kurama observed as Shadow sat there and watched Hiei stalk away and go upstairs. They watched her for a moment as she sat perfectly still, then she let out a wail and was hugging and crying all over Kurama.
"HE HATES ME! MY BELOVED HIEI HATES ME NOW! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT I DID! I'M SO SORRY!"
"Let go of my fox, you freak!" Eclipse snapped. Shadow moved to Yusuke and threw her arms around him.
"Hey! I've got a girlfriend too!"
"But she's not here," Shadow reminded.
"Oh yeah."
"Besides, you know you like it." She began sobbing and crying on his shoulder. Kurama sighed.
"Be ready to go by five thirty," he told her.
"Okay," she sobbed.
He returned to his bedroom with Eclipse and shut the door. Shadow stepped back, looking hatefully at the door.
"Wonder what they're gonna do?"
"Who knows?"
"I do!" She darted into her room and came out a minute later with a small monitor screen with color and a very clear picture.
"Pity there's no audio in the portable version," she muttered, sitting down and tuning it. Yusuke sat next to her, peering over her shoulder.
"Holy shit!"
A clear color picture of Kurama's bedroom appeared on the screen. The pair of troublemakers spent the next half hour watching Kurama and Eclipse cuddle, snickering occasionally when they kissed.
"So they're not dating yet?"
"Nah," Shadow said.
A looming shadow made Shadow (ha ha! shadow made Shadow... ...ahem...) and Yusuke look up. Hiei was standing over them looking down at the screen.
"What are you doing?"
Shadow's lower lip trembled and she pushed the screen into Yusuke's hands before throwing her arms around Hiei's leg and sobbing against the fabric of his jeans.
"I'm sorry! Will you ever forgive me!"
Hiei pried her off his leg and knelt in front of her. She looked at him pathetically with wide watery eyes and a trembling lip. "I forgive you."
"YAY!" She flung her arms around him, knocking him onto his back on the floor.
"You know why, right?" Yusuke asked. He continued before they answered. "Because he was totally turned on by being chained half naked to the bed and now that he went and jacked off a few times thinking about it, he can forgive you."
"Yusuke! Hiei's not like that!" Shadow said indignantly.
"Really, Yusuke. I don't jack off. You might, but I can go without."
"Right, whatever... I bet a black light test in your bedroom would say otherwise."
"I bet it wouldn't," Shadow retorted. "I've done it before. I couldn't find anything that would possibly be semen."
"Then he does it in the bathroom!"
"Checked there, too," the girl replied. "I also checked my bedroom, several of the empty rooms, all the other bathrooms, Kurama's bedroom--but even if there had been stuff on the bed, it could have been Kurama--and a wide variety of other rooms. Not a single room failed the 'has Hiei jacked off here' test."
"Your respect for me is astounding," Hiei muttered.
"But then again... I have no way of knowing when he did and didn't have sex at Mukuro's..."
"Your trust is astounding too," the fire demon growled, sounding a bit more annoyed.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I believe you when you say you haven't had sex since you started loving me! I believe you with every FIBER OF MY HEART!"
"You don't have a heart."
"Excellent point."
Hiei rolled his eyes. Shadow sat up, pulling her boyfriend into a sitting position and drawings his lips to hers. Yusuke watched with rapt attention, the monitor for Kurama's bedroom forgotten. The girl's legs were securely wrapped around Hiei's waist, and he slowly stood, not breaking the kiss as he carried his girlfriend into their bedroom and laid her on the bed. The brown-eyed boy followed, his wide eyes not leaving the show before him.
Something shiny caught Hiei's eye. He pulled back and grabbed Shadow's wrists suddenly, pulling them above her head and locking them in the handcuffs still hanging from the top of the bed. She yelped, looking up at her bound hands, then down at Hiei, who now sat straddling her on the bed, looking at her thoughtfully.
"You look... Predatory," Yusuke noted.
"He's gonna eat me," Shadow whined. The teen boy cracked up laughing. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"What should I do with you?" he questioned.
"Tear off all my clothes and fuck me senseless while Yusuke video tapes it all."
"It sounded good up to the part with Yusuke."
"Okay, then we can set up the camera on a tripod and tape it."
"Why would you want to?"
"Oh, come on. Who wouldn't want a tape of their first sexual encounter with the man they love?"
"Me," Kurama said from the doorway.
"You love a MAN?" Shadow shrieked. "Hiei! I'm sorry I let him tear off your shirt! He is gay!"
"Gods! Eclipse! You have bad taste in men!" Yusuke taunted. "He looks like a girl and he's gay!"
"I'm not gay," Kurama said.
"Maybe he's a girl," Shadow whispered.
"Eclipse! You have HORRIBLE taste in men! He's a woman!" the black-haired boy continued.
"I am not!" Kurama complained.
"Prove it!" Shadow snapped. The redhead stared at her for a second, then grabbed his belt buckle, moving as if to remove it.
"Do you really want me to?"
"Not like that! Eclipse! Grab his crotch and make sure he has balls! Fondle him while you're at it!"
"I'm not fondling him! What if he really is a girl?"
"Fine! Hiei, unchain me. I have to go molest the fox."
"I'm not going to unchain you, let you get away from my torment, that easily."
"Fine then. Yusuke! You prove he's a guy!"
"No!"
"Hiei?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Youko touched your nipples."
"So what? I didn't ask him to!"
"Well he's touched you, so you can touch him."
"That's not Youko and I don't want to touch him."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not gay!"
"But he's a girl!"
"Who says?"
Shadow sighed. "Please unchain me? I swear to God I will willingly return to your bindings once I've satisfactorily groped Kurama, alright?"
Hiei paused, looking at her thoughtfully, before reaching up and unchaining her wrists. "Go for it."
"You're such a sweet guy, letting me grope your best friend," Shadow said, kissing him. She got up and went to Kurama. Eclipse stepped back as if standing near her friends while they were groping and or being groped would give her an STD.
"Okay fox, time to determine your sexuality once and for all," the fire girl said, putting on hand on his shoulder and pushing him up against the wall. He let out a little whimper. She kept her eyes locked with his, grinning evilly. When her wandering hand reached its destination, he gasped a bit while she grinned wider and announced, "Yep, he's a guy."
"So glad we settled this," Kurama muttered. "Now would you please stop fondling me?"
She pressed herself against him, her hands on his hips, "But I can't fondle Hiei, he won't let me! He wants to chain me up and torture me and make me beg!"
"Damn straight," Hiei retorted, coming up behind her and pressing himself against her back. She yipped.
"Hey! Threesome!" Yusuke exclaimed excitedly.
"Yes! I get the attractive sexy demons who know all about pleasure and sex, and Eclipse is left with the mediocre and ugly non-demons who are both still virgins and know no more about sexual pleasure than what they see from porn." She began grining her hips against Kurama's.
"OKAY! Stop it! That's a little bit much," the fox said.
"Why?" she asked, leaning up and kissing his neck. "You gonna chicken out?"
"Peer pressure! Help! Hiei! You're letting your girlfriend molest me!"
"Yeah," the little demon said distractedly.
"Don't blame me if Youko--mmph!"
Shadow pulled him down and pressed her lips against his. The second she stepped back, POOSH! Youko was standing there. Eclipse yelped and scurried away.
"C'mon... Keep doing that stuff!" he pleaded.
"My hand's not big enough," she replied.
"Says who?"
"Well I hope you've got more balls that Shuuichi, being as you're over a foot taller than him."
"Check."
After a second's hesitation, she did. Hiei sighed.
"My girlfriend is a whore..."
"How much!" Youko asked excitedly.
"She's not for sale."
"But..."
"I'm free. So I'm even worse than a--mmph!"
Hiei pressed his hand over her mouth from behind. "Don't give him ideas."
"I'm sorry. I cost a hell of a lot more than you can afford, fox. Like, your life! MUWAHAHA!"
"Your hand hasn't left my crotch yet," the fox noted casually. "I think you're liking this a little too much."
"Gomen."
"Now look, Shadow," Hiei sighed, dragging her back to the bed and replacing the handcuffs. Leaning close, he whispered, "Now I might have to beat you."
"Oooh, kinky!" Youko teased.
While Hiei stayed close to her ear, she whispered, "Youko has a big dick."
"As is to be expected," Hiei muttered with disgust. The fox smirked.
"I'm very proud of my body. Can I experiment with you, Hiei?"
"No."
"Anal probing. Come on! The aliens do it!"
"Go fuck yourself."
"Why, when I have you around?"
"Okay, shut up."
When Kurama and Shadow arrived at the special party/rehearsal thingy at 6:00, the rest of the cast was already there. So was the pizza.
"Are we late, or are they early?" Kurama asked.
"I think they're early," Shadow replied. Tamura jumped on Shadow the second she saw her and pulled her in front of everyone.
"Everybody! Everybody, this is our new Juliet! Her name is Shadow Jaganshi. From what I've seen, she is an absolutely wonderful actress! Let's have a round of applause."
Everybody clapped politely. As the entire cast were Mieou High students, they all already knew her. Mixed emotions ran through all of them at this revelation. Most of them were convinced that she was going to totally destroy their play.
"Somehow, I can't see Shadow as a good actress," one boy muttered to his friend.
"Me neither."
Shadow was on them in a second. She grabbed the fronts of their shirts and pulled them down to her level so fast their heads knocked together.
"I heard that. You think I'm going to destroy your play? Well I'll have you know that I'm an excellent actress, even drama romance crap. I am CAPABLE of acting serious! You're lucky I've got such great control over the PATHWAYS of my brain that I can act AND think about three other things at the same time without getting confused!"
"Yeah! That's a laugh," Kurama said, dragging her away from the two boys. "But she can act."
"She's wonderful!" Tamura gushed. Shadow glowed.
"I'm wonderful. Hear that, fox-boy? She's complimenting me, not you."
"Shuuichi is marvelous as well," the lady said, a bit confused.
"Silence! Bathe me in praise!" Shadow commanded.
"Oh, stuff it!" came a voice from the group of actors. The girl went rigid and lunged through the people suddenly, tackling the guy who'd spoken.
"What was that?"
"I said 'stuff it.'" The guy grinned mischeviously. "Remember me?"
"Remember? Where would I remember you from?"
A sigh as he pushed the confused girl off him and sat up, pulling her onto his lap. "Oh, poor confused Shadow-chan... Don't you remember all the good times we had?"
"Good times?" She squinted at him. "You look... like this guy I knew once... But I forget who... I think he died, though..."
The boy sighed again. "I love the way you respect the guy who got you out of prison. You never once visited me since then..."
She tilted her head. "When was I in prison?"
"Oh, Lord..." the boy groaned. "You really are dense!"
"Thanks! I take pride in it."
"I'm the guy from the shrine! The monk?"
Shadow stared, then her eyes suddenly widened in recognition. "Monkie-chan?"
"Yeah!"
"MONKIE-CHAN! I MISSED YOU SO!" She flung her arms around him, knocking him onto his back. By now, everybody was staring at the pair.
"Then why'd you never visit me, child?"
"I don't know where you live!" she snapped with a bit of annoyance.
"Oh yeah. Guess I forgot that little detail."
"But now I see you and I'm happy!" She kissed his cheek.
"YOU'RE CHEATIN' ON HIEI!" one kid yelled. Shadow flung a book at his head and he screamed like a girl and ducked. It continued on until Kurama caught it.
"Am I gonna have to put you on a leash?" the fox snapped, grabbing her and dragging her away from Monkie-chan. She dropped to her hands and feet when he let go, snarling and spitting like a rabid cross between a cat and a dog. After a second, she began scrambling around like a crab, in circles and circles around Kurama, until she suddenly got dizzy and scuttled right off the edge of the stage. Tamura's mouth formed a little 'o' of suprise as she hurried to where Shadow had fallen, concern written all over her face. They couldn't get a new Juliet and lose her in the same day! That would be too tragic!
However, when she reached the edge of the stage and looked down, no Shadow was in sight. A movement to her left caught her attention, but when she looked, nothing was there. Suddenly, there was a yelp and a loud thud, and Kurama was on the ground, pinned by Shadow.
"You think I'm weird, don't you!"
"Yes," he said.
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Well in that case..." She got up and pulled him to his feet. "You're free to do as you please, Romeo."
"I say we see her act," one girl suggested. "She doesn't seem like much to me. Nothing much more than a stupid psycho."
"For that assessment, I humbly thank you," Shadow said quietly, bowing over 90 degrees.
"Y'know it'd be really easy for someone to kill you right now," Monkie-chan pointed out.
"Koujiro!" Tamura reprimanded.
"What? It would."
Shadow had straightened the instant he'd said that, and was now standing in a defensive position, glancing around at everyone suspiciously.
"Let's see her act!" the same girl insisted.
"I want pizza," a boy muttered. "Can't we wait until we've eaten before we have her show us how badly she acts?"
"Nope! Nobody gets any pizza until I act and you each compliment me because I'm wonderful and you're gonna be jealous," Shadow said, gaurding the pizza with her life.
"Fine! Act!" the boy snapped. Shadow looked to Kurama, then cautiously stepped away from the pizza, ready to jump on anyone who moved towards it, but no one did. She relaxed a bit more and walked to stand in front of the fox.
"Act two, scene two," he suggested. "Your first lines after the 'wherefore are thou' bit. They already know I can act."
"You're full of yourself." She closed her eyes to compose herself, then began. "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague..." (and at this point, the authoress bursts into hysterical laughter, falls off her seat, and cracks open her head on the corner of the desk. That's okay. Her brain isn't present, so once she gets the bloodflow to stop, she'll be back in no time... Lordy me, Shakespeare is just the thing to cheer one up... It sounds so STUPID!)
They finished the entire... freaking... scene... Without Shadow bumbling over her lines even once. It was almost creepy, in a way, to think that such a silly, stupid girl could have the skill and patience necessary to memorize and act out a 'tragic romance.'
Everybody stared in awe. Tamura started clapping, and one by one they caught on.
"That was excellent!" Koujiro praised, stepping forward. "Of course, I never doubted you for a moment."
"Get stuffed! You're full of it, Monkie-chan!"
"Nah, I got blue eyes."
"Oh, shut up."
"Why don't we all shut up and stuff our faces with pizza?" one kid suggested.
"Good idea!" Shadow chirped, lunging towards the stack of pizza boxes. She grabbed a plate and stacked three large slices of pepperoni pizza on it before retreating to a corner off-stage in the darkness to eat it, like some kind strange animal.
Koujiro came over a minute later and sat down with his pizza and a glass of soda. Kurama slipped away before any fangirls managed to jump on him and sat on Shadow's other side, handing her a glass of orange soda.
"Arigatou, dear Romeo."
"Please don't call me Romeo all the time now," he sighed. Shadow merely glanced at him with a slice of pizza in her mouth and didn't reply. After chewing and swallowing, she turned to Koujiro.
"So what part do you play?"
"Ironically, I'm the Friar."
Shadow snickered. "That's funny."
"So how is it you two know each other?" Kurama asked.
"I get around," Koujiro said, casually taking a sip of his Mello Yello.
"What's that supposed to mean!"
"Just what it sounds like. I slept with him," Shadow said, putting her arm around Koujiro's shoulders and smiling.
"... Um..."
"But that's all in the past. I hear you have a boyfriend, now, child?"
"Yes. Yes I do. A very hot boyfriend who's probably a hell of a lot better in bed than you are."
"I'm being insulted," the boy muttered miserably.
"Sometimes I worry about you, Shadow," Kurama sighed.
"Why, whatever for, dear fox?"
"Because you have to ASK why! It should be obvious!"
"Why? Because I have strange delusions of having slept with almost every guy I run into?"
"Yes."
"Ask Hiei how many times I sleep somewhere other than home."
"I will."
"So how is Hiei?" Koujiro asked. "What's he doing with himself, other than being a teacher? Last time I saw him, he was working as a prison guard."
"Well now he's working as a cop. And a teacher," Shadow said. "That's kinda hush hush, so use your monkie-chan vow of silence and don't tell anyone."
"Yes, my lord."
"Pardon?"
"Yes, my lady."
"I thought so." She ate a bit more pizza, then looked scrutinizingly at Koujiro. "How come I've never seen you in school before? I mean, we've been there since September and I never once saw you in the halls."
"That, dear, is because I'm a senior with a work release. I'm never there."
"A work release? Where do you work?"
"Juvie."
"Juvie?"
"Juvenile Hall. I'm a counselor for delinquents. I get a crapload of money, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah." He produced his wallet from a back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a wad of money. "See?"
Shadow snatched the money from his hand and sat on it. "Mine now."
"I need that!"
"Go get it."
"I can't. It's against the code of the monk."
"What, to get back what rightfully belongs to them?"
"From under a girl's ass!" Koujiro snapped. "Yeah! I'm not allowed. You could accuse me of sexual molestation."
Kurama sighed. "Give him back his money, Shadow."
"Nope."
"Give it back," Koujiro insisted.
"Nope."
The fox sighed and set aside his pizza, pulling his cell phone out of his back pocket. "I'll call Hiei."
"What's he gonna do, walk here and molest me so you can give back Monkie-chan's money and save the day, you liberating bastard?"
"Now now, kids..." Koujiro started, but Kurama made his move. In the process of getting the money out from under Shadow's butt, he put her in a very comprimising position, just as somebody flicked on the house lights in the auditorium.
"WOW! Romeo and Juliet are gettin' it on in the corner!" one kid cried.
"With Friar Lawrence right there watchin'!"
Shadow flung Kurama's shoe at them. Koujiro snatched his money out of the fox's hand and they quickly put themselves in more respectable positions, about five feet away from each other.
After a while longer, Tamura called them all up onto the stage.
"Everyone's had their fill, I hope. Now let's try to get some rehearsing in before I have to send you all home."
Shadow's first play rehearsal went well. She got to do the suicide scene! Afterwards, she went straight home to Hiei and announced, "Hiei, I got to kill myself!"
"That's nice."
"Twice!"
"That's nice."
"You don't care?"
"You don't look dead to me, koi. Should I care?"
"You should care that I did an excellent job and got many compliments and that Monkie-chan was the Friar."
"Who?"
"That's what I said. He's the guy who bailed me out of jail, y'know?"
"Oh yeah."
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Listening to you, koi."
"Doesn't really look like it."
"Of course I am."
"I have to kiss Kurama."
"I know."
"Do you know how many times I'm going to have to kiss him?"
"Several."
"Including the practices and rehearsals, and that the play is on three nights?"
"A lot."
"Aren't you jealous?"
"Not really."
"Why not?"
"You don't love him, do you?"
"What if I do?"
Hiei finally shut the book he was reading. "Then I'll ditch you and go back to Makai."
"I can't say he's not a good kisser."
"Shadow..."
"And he's got the elegance and intelligence thing going for him..."
Hiei started to get up, but Shadow yelped and sat in his lap, effectively returning him to his seat on the couch.
"Oh, koi. You know I would never ditch you for your best friend." She put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Kurama is your best friend, isn't he?"
"I guess you could say that," Hiei muttered, one arm around his girlfriend.
"Everybody needs a best friend."
"Why are you being weird all of a sudden?"
"Me being weird is sudden!"
"No, no, that's not what I meant. I mean, you're talking rationally. Sort of."
She stared at him for a minute, then simply said, "I love you, Hiei."
"I love you too, but that doesn't answer my question."
"Hey, how long is this chapter? D'you figure we could have a break? I'm getting tired of today dragging on, and on, and on, and--"
"It's only eleven pages of very small font."
"Okay. That's excellent. D'you figure Shadow is tired of writing this chapter?"
"Yes."
"Way, freaking, cool. I'm taking a break." She got up and left, Hiei on her heels.
See, that wasn't AS bad as the last chapter, was it? I mean... come on...