(7-1-05) I can't give an accurate count on the reviews up to this point because some kind people spammed up my review thingy... It says 890, but I got two people going through every chapter with stupid reviews like "This is my review for chapter 20" or "dum dum du dum number 14". I know I encourage reviewing, but I don't want them that badly. I want VALID reviews. Katana-Jake and moogleboy64, I don't appreciate what you did. If you'd reviewed as you read the story, or said something slightly more constructive than 'dududududu' or whatever the fuck you said, I wouldn't be so pissed. (except that one review, moogleboy64, where you bowed before my greatness or whatever... that one was okay.)
Now, to reply to a few REAL reviews.
Ebbster- Your compliment touched my heart. ... Well, it would have, had I had a heart on hand at the time. I tend to keep mine in a box under my bed... It's collecting dust. I never use it. Just like my brain.
Black Spell- I avoid all stories involving Kuwabara in any sort of romantic/sexual situation with any male or female person. They make me shudder simply at the thought.
Shessha's Crazy- Don't talk about episodes I haven't seen! I'm not caught up with all the DVDs. Last I saw, Raizen died & Yusuke was going to visit Yomi.
bisc- Do I want to go see War of the Worlds with you? Well, considering how I don't know you... um... no. Sorry. XD And did you get that "I reject reality and substitute my own" from Mythbusters? Cuz I think I heard one of them say that once. Lol. And my favorite show is Yu Yu Hakusho. I don't like Law & Order or CSI.
black mirage- You like Karasu? Me too. He's in this chapter a tiny bit. He's in it more in the next few chapters. You wanna read a really awesome in-character Karasu fic? Go read hColleen's story "Dark Thoughts." It's so in-character it's almost scary.
hColleen- Look, I'm promoting your story! See? -points to previous review reply- Can I have a cookie? (incidentally, you use bigger words than anyone else who reviews. I started reading your review without looking at the name and thought 'Wow, who's this? They sound smart...' Then I looked at the name and thought, 'Oh! Go figure...')
darkXdemon15- CORRUPTION IS GOOD! I was corrupted... everybody will be corrupted... I have it all planned out... I even have a minion in charge of corrupting people, it's so important to me. -points to hColleen- Her.
To everybody who's asked me: Yes I do read all my reviews. Unless I get 26 at once that are monotonous, stupid, and thoughtless.
Now, for the story. Warning: ... This chapter is frighteningly devoid of anything more than kissing. And a little bit of stripping. But it's not like I go into detail about that, and if you get freaked out by a girl taking off a guy's shirt for him, you should be reading G-rated stories... I bet guys take off their shirts in those ones, too. Oh yeah, and there's a wee bit of ass-touching. XD Boy, putting these warnings at the beginning sure would be bad if my mother decided she wanted to see what I write. But as I was saying before, there's no severe gropage. This chapter is very mild, especially considering the occasion.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
The Birthday Thing...
Shadow's birthday went well in school. She harassed all her teachers, got sent to the office fifteen minutes into most classes (or just left if her harassing didn't get her in trouble) and in that way spent most of her day with Hiei. The third time she showed up at the office, Tashiro gave her a pass to the gym and she hugged and kissed him, too (on the cheek! jeesh...), then ran back to the gym and hugged and kissed Hiei several times (...not on the cheek).
Of course, the following period was Hiroshi Nakada's class. Shadow reclined in the bleachers, deciding to skip Lit. class altogether. The second Nakada walked in and saw her near his usual sulking corner, he changed direction and actually went to stand near the class. She hopped to the floor and skipped over to Hiei.
"Gonna tell them all why I'm here?" she asked. He shook his head, making some marks next to names on his attendance sheet.
"Nope."
"Can I?"
"I don't care."
"I'm here because I have an ALL DAY PASS FROM THE PRINCIPAL! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I'LL PARTY IF I WANT TO!" She began doing disco, which Hiei quickly repressed.
"Skip or jump rope, but don't disco."
"Can I breakdance?"
"I don't care."
"Can I harass your class?"
"Sure. They're not doing anything this period anyways."
"Really?" a few kids said excitedly.
"Yeah, really."
Shadow spent the period near Nakada, doing commentary on his every move. He tried his best not to react, but he'd finally had enough.
"SHUT UP!"
The entire gymnasium froze. Hiei glanced over at his girlfriend calmly and set down whatever he'd been doing up on the bleachers. He dropped silently to the floor as Shadow began taunting Nakada again.
"Oooh, he's mad and I'm scared! Utterly terrified!"
"If it weren't for Arisa's problem, I'd have pummeled you a long time ago!"
"Oh? Who cares about Arisa's problem? It's not your problem. It's hers. Go ahead and hit me." She made fists and hopped back and forth from one foot to the other like a boxer.
"Don't tempt me!"
"I'm tempting you! Oooh, tempting, tempting, watch me tempt you, Hiroshi Nakada! Tempting, tempting, tempting! I'm just such a tempting target!" She stopped hopping and stopped speaking in singsong, but kept the taunting tone. "I bet you can't even hit me."
Hiei smirked. Happy birthday. She could totally ruin Arisa's life.
"I bet I can!"
"Go for it!"
"Fine, bitch!"
He swung his fist.
"Your bonds of loyalty are strong, grasshopper," Shadow said in a mocking tone. She promptly pummeled Nakada before he could even attempt another punch, then skipped away merrily. "Time to go tell Arisa you just annoyed me!"
She left the gym. Hiei glanced at the twitching, unconscious body on the ground and pointed to a couple boys. "Take him to the nurse. No need to hurry, though."
They took him literally. They dragged him to the nurse fifteen minutes later, once he'd stopped twitching.
Shadow, meanwhile, had gone outside, run a lap round the school, went into Hiei's office through the back entrance to the boy's locker room, and hacked into the office systems to find out where Arisa was that period. Once she'd gained her knowledge, she darted upstairs and composed herself before entering the classroom.
"Excuse me, could I speak to Arisa Okawa for a moment?" she asked politely. She stood aside as Arisa left the room, then shut the door and went into psychotic fits, jumping around like a lunatic and pointing. "Nakada took a swing at me! You know what that means?"
Arisa stared for a moment in shock, then pleaded, "You can't show my mother those pictures!"
"I can. I'm fully capable. I have all my arms and legs, and I have the pictures. I'll give you until tomorrow to provide a sufficient bribe, but if you fail, your mommy gets to see the pictures of you fucking Mr. Fabulous, the troll, in the public park!"
"He's not a troll!"
"BRIBE ME AND BATHE ME IN PRAISE, OR YOUR MOTHER WILL SEE YOU STARRING IN PORN!" Shadow threatened, with flames and dark clouds and looming evil and glowing red eyes. Then she smiled sweetly. "Ta!" She hurried off. Arisa sulked and bitched at people for the rest of the day.
Hiei glanced up at Shadow as she returned to the gym. "Well?"
"I told her she has until tomorrow to provide a sufficient bribe or I'll show her mother the pictures."
"You shouldn't have offered options."
"Oh, Hiei. It's so much more fun when you give them a chance to save their asses and they fail. Then, not only do their lives spiral slowly downwards towards the status of 'living Hell', but they live with the knowledge that they had the chance to hold it at the level of 'sucky' and failed miserably!"
Hiei sighed, smiling and shaking his head. "You really do know what you're doing."
"Why, thank you." She kissed his cheek.
A random student wandered over to the corner where they were sitting. "Jaganshi-sensei?"
"Huh?"
"Since we're not doing anything, we're wondering if you could give a demonstration of your sword fighting."
Shadow hit Hiei's chest. "I told you!" She looked up at the boy. "Come to the talent show next week. Oh! And..." She jumped up and scrambled up onto the bleachers. "Everybody listen up!"
The gym silenced.
"Everybody has to come to the school play tomorrow night, because I'm in it! I play Juliet!"
"You?" a random student cried.
"Yes, me!"
"Who plays Romeo? Hiei?"
"No, Shuuichi Minamino."
Several girls squealed. Shadow grinned. Mission accomplished. She hopped down from the bleachers into Hiei's arms and wrapped her legs around his waist.
"PDA," he reminded her. She squeezed her legs tighter and leaned back a bit to look him in the eye.
"Who gives a flying rat's ass?"
"Not you, apparently."
"Exactly."
Shadow was not made aware of Arisa's absence from lunch, but the effects of that absence were made obvious as she and Hiei walked out to the parking lot after school. Shadow found her motorcycle in ruins, the ruins of her bike surrounded by six or seven poser-ninja mobsters.
Upon seeing her dented, scratched, burning, ruined motorcycle, Shadow very nearly passed out from a sudden wave of horror. Hiei supported her, recognizing the poser-ninja mobsters from a few previous attempts on his life.
"What the hell are you assholes doing here?"
"Fucking up your life," one answered.
"I thought the mob did their work in secret? So far, you've failed to kill me more than once, and you just stand there like a bunch of morons after trashing my girlfriend's bike. Any particular reason you're making yourselves so obvious? A deathwish, perhaps?"
All seven pulled out guns and aimed them at Hiei and Shadow, who was quickly recovering from the shock and horror.
"We're supposed to kill you."
"Yeah, well, you've tried that before and it didn't work, so what makes you think it will now?"
Before they could answer, Shadow pulled out of Hiei's grip and started striding towards them. If they'd been able to see auras, they would have wet their pants, as Shadow's was exploding from her, probably incinerating dozens of innocent micro-organisms floating around innocently in the air.
"You fucked up my motorcycle," she snarled, stopping in front of them with eyes narrowed in fury. "And now I'm gonna fuck up you."
They barely had time to react before she'd knocked the nearest guy unconscious, leaving him bleeding a few feet away while she went after the others in a fit of rage.
They say anger is a weapon only to your opponent, Hiei thought, but it certainly isn't helping these guys any.
All seven guys were out cold on the ground in under three minutes, despite them having guns and being nearly twice Shadow's size. Once she'd taken care of them, she looked at her ruined motorcycle and fell to her knees in tears. Hiei knelt beside her and hugged her.
"It's okay, Shadow..."
"Hiei! They totally fucked up my bike! It's not okay!" she snapped, grabbing his shoulders.
"Well what do you expect me to say? 'Now that you have no motorcycle, your life sucks and I hate you'! I'm just trying to comfort you!"
"Well it's not working!"
"Because you blew up on me!"
"Because you said it's okay that they fucked up my bike!"
"It's not the end of the world!"
"Maybe it is to me!"
"Then you're pathetic! It's just a motorcycle! It can be replaced!"
"But I named him and loved him and he was mine! And you just called me pathetic, you son of a bitch! It's my birthday! I have no more motorcycle, and you call me pathetic! Great! Excellent! Jackass! I'm going home! And I'm WALKING, since I don't have a motorcycle anymore!"
"Shadow, I swear to God, if you bitch at me..."
"I already am bitching at you!"
"Then you can walk home alone." He turned and started walking away.
"Fine! Bitch!"
Hiei hesitated, then kept walking, ignoring her. She paused, glancing at the men lying around her unconscious, then at her ruined motorcycle, then at Hiei's retreating form, and let out a wail.
"Wait, Hiei! I'm sorry!" She ran after him and grabbed his arm, but he pulled it out of her grip. "Hiei! I said I'm sorry!"
"Hn."
"Please forgive me?"
"Please? Pretty please with cherries and whipped cream on top?"
"...Hn."
She hesitated, trembling, before she let out yet another howl and threw herself to her knees and placed her palms and forehead on the ground. "Please forgive me, Hiei! I love you! I was a bitch! I'm sorry! Please forgive me?"
He stopped walking. That was a start.
"Please?"
"How will you make it up to me?"
"I'll give you a blowjob!" she said, standing up. He looked thoughtful. "Two?"
"It's tempting."
"Really? How about if I wait on you hand and foot tomorrow? And I'm really sweet and nice to you the rest of today? I was a bitch! I'm sorry!"
"Fine. I accept your apology."
"Does that mean I have to give you two blowjobs?"
"Not now, but I'll remember this if you ever want something from me."
"Oh, thank you, Hiei!" She kissed him. "Now there's just the matter of it being my birthday, and we have a date tonight!"
Much to their surprise, when they arrived home, Ryu, Kurama, and Eclipse were waiting in the living room.
"What the hell are you bozos doing here?" Hiei asked cordially.
"We came to make sure you and Shadow look nice for each other tonight," Kurama said.
"And look nice for everyone else," Ryu added.
"Stupid kitsune," Hiei muttered, pulling Shadow along behind him as he headed for the stairs.
"Hey, you dumb little freak! They want to make you two irresistably sexy for your date, where you two will be alone together--though granted it'll be in public--for several hours, drinking champaign and eating fancy food that'll cost a shitload of money!" Eclipse snapped.
"You can't make Hiei look any sexier than he does already," Shadow insisted.
"I bet we could," Ryu said. Shadow let go of Hiei's hand and stepped back, examining him for a second.
"Yeah, right now he's just hot... You know when he looks really great? Fresh out of a real hard fight." She grinned, continuing in a lower voice. "When his hair's all mussed up, and his clothes are ripped and he's sweating and bleeding..."
There was an audible snap as Ryu realized his jaw was kinda just hanging there and quickly shut his mouth, snapping his teeth together. Shadow ignored it in favor of continuing to Sexy Hiei Scenario #2.
"Another time when he's really hot is when he's just out of the shower, and he's all wet and steamy..."
"And naked?" Eclipse offered sardonically. Shadow grinned.
"And naked," she added, choosing to ignore the tone of Eclipse's voice.
"You've seen him naked?" Kurama asked.
"No... But I have seen him nearly naked, and been tempted to jump on him and rape him..."
"You can't rape the willing," Eclipse reminded.
"Shut up, hag," Hiei snapped.
Shadow put her hands on Hiei's shoulders and leaned in close to his ear, whispering, "You're so damn hot, Hiei."
"I know," he sighed, like it was a great burden. "I know..."
"You're vain," Kurama said.
"Oh, like you have any room to talk, with that stupid fox you've got in your head!" Shadow snapped. "Hiei is sexy!"
"So is Youko," Eclipse said. Shadow stared at her.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing," the other girl yelped, suddenly realizing what she'd said.
"Guys!" Ryu whined. "Who is Youko!"
"I told you yesterday! He's my ex!" Shadow said.
"Wait, is he the abusive one you were talking about in Health that one time?"
"No," Shadow said. "Youko was really sexy, but him and I just aren't compatible like Hiei and me are."
"Oh yeah? And how are you and Hiei compatable?" Eclipse asked. "You two have nothing in common."
"Exactly! Opposites attract!"
"You do so have things in common," Ryu offered. "You're hot, he's hot. You wear black, he wears black. You live in the same house..."
"...Neither of you has any respect for authority," Kurama picked up. "Your weapon of choice is the sword. Both of you are pyromaniacs. You both have strong survival instincts."
"Both of you are bloodthirsty maniacs... Either at one time or another, you've both had world domination plots. You've both got awful tempers..." Eclipse added. "And you both have a death fixation."
"I do not," Shadow retorted. "I just like to eat the souls of small children!"
"I don't have an awful temper, either," Hiei said. "I resent that. An awful temper is somebody like Yusuke's girlfriend, who flies off the handle when he breathes wrong."
"So true," Eclipse said. "So none of my contributions had any merit. You're both assholes."
"Am not," they replied simultaneously.
"That's something they've got in common," Kurama said. "They're both jerks."
"Thanks," they again replied in unison. Then they glared at each other.
"Anyways, that's not why we're here," Ryu said pointedly.
"Oh yeah!" Kurama chirped. He strode foreward and linked one arm in one of each Shadow's and Hiei's. "Upstairs we go."
"What! Why? It's only 4:00!" Hiei yelped.
"And your reservations are for 7:30."
"It's not gonna take three and a half hours to get ready, is it?"
"Well, you've got to take into consideration the fact that you're driving there at speed limit, and you want to get there a little early, so we've got to allow at least a half an hour for the transportation... And you're not riding your motorcycle."
Shadow stopped dead, nearly tripping Kurama. "My motorcycle!" she wailed, throwing herself into Hiei's arms.
"Nice one, fox."
"What'd I do?"
"Shadow doesn't have a motorcycle anymore."
"What?"
"The mob trashed it. We decided that Slut-face probably has mob connections too, and she told them to come kill Shadow so she wouldn't show her mother those pictures."
"NO! MORE! MOTORCYCLE!" the girl was wailing.
"Wow. That has to suck."
"Yeah, so don't mention it. I'll get her a new one eventually."
"Okay. I won't say another word."
"All gone... all gone..." Shadow was crying. Hiei made shushing noises and held her until she calmed down. By then, it was 4:15.
"Okay, I'm alright now. I'm ready to go get beautiful so I can enjoy my date," she said, sniffling and stepping back from Hiei's embrace.
"Excellent," Kurama said. He and Ryu guided the couple up the stairs, leaving Eclipse sitting there in the living room humming The Star-Spangled Banner.
"First off, you two need to be in separate rooms," Kurama said, pushing Shadow into her room and Hiei into the guest bedroom across the hall that served as the fox's own during his stays. They stood in the doorways blinking cluelessly at their caretakers.
"So, which one of you is gonna be picking and prodding at who?" Shadow asked. Hiei reached out and grabbed Kurama's sleeve, pulling him into the room.
"No offense, Ryu," he said.
"None taken."
"Good."
Shadow stood aside as Ryu walked into her messy bedroom, flashed a smile at Hiei, and shut the door. Kurama looked to Hiei.
"What was that smile?"
"I don't know," the little demon dismissed. "She's probably gonna rape him or something."
"...Oh..."
"So what the hell are you going to spend three hours doing to me?" Hiei asked, shutting the door and leaning on it with his arms crossed. The fox shrugged.
"Making you pretty."
One eyebrow raised slightly. Kurama sighed.
"Fine. Making you look romantic and handsome."
Hiei rolled his eyes. "I guess it's better than pretty."
"It is."
"I'm gonna take a shower," he said, opening the door.
"Fine. Twit."
Hiei stuck out his tongue, then left.
Shadow, meanwhile, was being more productive. Ryu had had her take down her hair instantly, and he was examining her and muttering to himself. This continued for half an hour, with him occasionally touching her hair or trying some odd style. She stood there like a wax manequin, only moving when he told her to.
After a bit more, he sighed. "Let's work on a dress. What do you think you should wear?"
Shadow grinned and pulled a pencil and sketchpad out of her pocket, glaring as Ryu tried to hover over her shoulder. He stepped back submissively and watched her scribble furiously on the paper, her tongue between her teeth.
"There!" she chirped, turning the paper so he could see it.
"Wow. I never knew you were an artist."
"What do you think of the dress, dipweed?"
Ryu shook his head. "Too short. Too revealing."
"But--!"
"You're going in public!"
The girl groaned and rolled her eyes, then set to work on another drawing.
Long ago, Hiei had finished with his shower and was now lying on Kurama's bed with his fingers intertwined behind his head and his eyes closed, totally ignoring anything the fox had to say.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Huh?"
"I didn't figure." There was a short pause, in which Hiei lapsed back into totally ignoring the fox. Kurama noticed this and decided to test his friend.
"Youko wants your body, Hiei."
The little demon sat bolt upright. "What!"
Kurama laughed. "Just testing you. Now will you listen?"
"No."
"Fine. Let's see what we can do about getting you a tux." He opened the door and crossed the hall, knocking on Shadow's door.
"What?" came irritably from inside.
"We kinda need Hiei's tux. Are you decent?"
"Yeah, I'm decent, stupid fox. Get your ass in here and help me out."
Kurama raised an eyebrow and opened the door. An odd sight met his eyes.
There were papers scattered everywhere, as well as pencil shavings and pencil stubs. Shadow was drawing violent scenes of death all over sketch paper and scribbling an overabundance of red ink all over them. Ryu was tied up and gagged in the corner.
"What the hell happened here!" the fox asked. Hiei, from the doorway, snorted and started laughing.
"Ryu here won't accept any of my ideas for my dress!"
Kurama picked up a few of the papers, glancing at them. "I can understand why. These are all way too revealing."
The fox barely dodged a sharpened pencil projectile aimed at his eye.
"What was that for!"
"That's the same thing he said! I could go totally goth!" she snapped, scribbling a drawing of herself with piercings and tattoos in a totally gothic-looking black dress as she spoke.
"Give me that," the fox snapped, snatching the paper and pencil. He drew a fairly good sketch of a nice dress and showed it to Shadow. "That. Make it. Wear it. And get Hiei a tux."
"I'm in a bad mood now. I can't."
"Hiei! Fix it!" Kurama snapped, pointing to her. "She's broken! Fix her!"
"I can't do that."
"Yeah you can, jerk. Just kiss her and mutter sweet nothings."
"That won't work..."
"Oh, shove it. You want your date to totally suck?"
Shadow hit him over the head with the sketchbook. "Shut up, jerk!" She looked at the drawing again and reached in her pocket, withdrawing a dress that looked almost exactly like Kurama's sketch. She reached in her pocket again and pulled out a tux for Hiei and tossed it at Kurama.
"Happy? Jerk!"
"Yeah. And untie Ryu, would you?"
She pouted for a second before getting up and untying him.
"Oh, don't pout," Hiei said, pulling her against him. "You'll enjoy yourself tonight. I promise."
"Really?"
"I swear. Tonight's ours. Meaning--" He looked pointedly at Kurama. "--that we're going to spend it alone together."
The fox held his hands up in surrender. "We'll leave the second you get home."
"Leave before we get home."
"Fine. Then how are you gonna get home from the restaurant?"
There was a pause.
"Walk?" Hiei suggested.
"Uh-huh. Right. I'll take you guys there and pick you up, okay? But nobody will be here when you get home. If anyone is, you can throw them off the roof. I promise."
"Thank you, Kurama. You're a real sweetheart," Shadow said sweetly, smiling. She wrapped her arms around Hiei, placing one hand on the back of his head to draw his mouth to hers for a kiss.
"We'd better get you two ready. We've got about an hour and a half left, now," Ryu said. Shadow pulled away from Hiei quickly and furiously, pointing to her door.
"You! Are leaving! You're no help to me! I've got my dress, and I can do my own makeup, thank you! You're banished from my presence, servant!"
Ryu walked away with slouched shoulders. Kurama raised an eyebrow at her, then grabbed Hiei's sleeve and dragged him away from the girl before they got too comfortable. Shadow slammed the door behind them as they left.
"Guys are useless!" she shouted as the lock clicked. "Except for sex and pleasure!"
"Thanks, koi," Hiei returned with a bit of annoyance.
"You know I love you!"
"Hiei's going to get ready for his date now, Shadow. You should do the same," Kurama said firmly, pushing Hiei into his room.
"Fine! Jerk!"
By approximately 7:00, both were ready to go. Hiei was leaning against the wall across from Shadow's room when she opened the door, appearing in her black dress with her hair up and the bare minimum of makeup on her face. Hiei smiled.
"You're beautiful."
"And you're sexy."
He kissed her cheek, taking her hand.
"C'mon, kids. I guess I'm playing taxi driver tonight," Kurama said, heading down the hall. They reluctantly followed, Hiei's arm around Shadow's waist as they walked. To tell the truth, all either of them really wanted to do was stay home and perhaps jump on the other and make love to them... but, each reminded themselves, sex would wait until Shadow's resolution wore out, until they'd been together as a couple longer, until Shadow was willing to give up the immortality of virginity, until Shadow was 18 and it wouldn't be considered rape...
"Eighteen," Shadow sighed, knowing Hiei was thinking the same things as her. "One more whole year..."
"It's really only against the law if someone finds out," Hiei reminded.
"We could always run off to Makai and fuck. There's no rules there. They molest children and no one thinks them any worse people for it. They screw all over the place with people of whatever gender they want and no one thinks them any worse for it."
"They also murder, steal, rape, torture, and lie," Kurama reminded.
Eclipse glanced up when they entered the dining room and cracked up laughing.
"You guys look--"
"Great," Kurama said threateningly.
"...great," the girl finished meekly.
"Why thank you, Eclipse," Shadow said, smiling. "Thank you for that unsolicited compliment."
"Uh... sure, no problem... Freak."
"Thank you for that, too," she said as she left the house with Hiei's hand in hers. Kurama led them out to the car, even opened the door for them. He drove them to the restaurant, opened the door for them again, grinning.
"Enjoy yourselves. You have your cell phone, Hiei?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, then just call me when you're about done, and I'll come get you."
"Sounds fine."
"And do try to behave. Don't scare anyone at neighboring tables. Don't scare the waiters. Act like civilized beings. Especially you, Shadow."
"Oh, shut up. You got me in a dress, wearing makeup, with my hair done up all wacky-like... If I'm dressed out of character, I might as well act out of character as well. I won't sniff at the food like it might be poisoned, I won't dissect it looking for pills and drugs and oddly-colored bits of vegetable, I won't... uh... Well, I can act like a normal human, okay?"
"Alright. Not like it'll hurt me any if you act like nutjobs..."
"We're going to dinner now, fox. Bye," Hiei said pointedly. Kurama waved and got back in the car, pulling back into traffic and driving away. He watched in the rearview mirror as Hiei led Shadow into the restaurant, then concentrated on driving. Maybe if he could get rid of Ryu when he reached Shadow's house, he could have some time with Eclipse.
He wasn't sure why he wanted to be alone with her, since she was utterly and completely out of her mind, but he liked being with her. She acted semi-sane when no one else was around but him. It was amazing how different she could be from one minute to the next. Maybe that wasn't a good thing. Perhaps she was totally out of her mind for real. Or maybe she'd just been hanging around Shadow for too long. But he still liked her for some unexplicable reason.
Ryu must have read his mind, because the second he walked into the house, the other boy was headed out the door.
"I figure I should probably be getting home, y'know... It's not late or nothin', but I got a lot of homework and stuff, so, see you later. Tell me when Shadow plans on totally ruining Arisa's life."
"We'll make sure you know about it," Kurama said. "Ja mata ne."
"Ja mata," Ryu said, leaving. The fox smiled and walked into the doorway of the living room. Eclipse was lying on the couch, but he could not see her.
"Eclipse?"
Her head popped up and she looked around quickly. Kurama chuckled. He was comically reminded of something he'd seen on a kid's movie once... Dancing meerkats.
He didn't have a whole lot of time to think about that, though, because the second Eclipse saw him, she lunged over the back of the couch and tackled him in a hug.
"Kurama!"
"Hey," he said, kissing her cheek.
"We're alone in Shadow's house," she whispered. "What should we do?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I'm torn between making out with you and ransacking her and Hiei's bedroom."
"Why not both? They'll be gone for a couple hours at least."
"Excellent idea. Let's relocate."
"To?"
"Her room. Ransack first. Kiss later."
"Alright," the fox said reluctantly. He saw where her interests lay most strongly.
They got up and headed for Shadow's bedroom. Eclipse instantly went to the nightstand drawers. Kurama sat on the bed and glanced around the room, then he went to the closet. He opened it. There was nothing inside but clothes. What a disappointment. He started going through the clothes, and his eyes widened a bit.
"Eclipse?"
The girl looked up as he pulled an outfit out of the closet. Her jaw dropped.
"That's like, a pole dancer's outfit! Ew! Wonder what she does with that?"
"Yeah, like you really have to wonder," the fox muttered, rolling his eyes as he replaced the outfit and continued snooping. He found several more questionable outfits, but none quite as bad as the first.
The only other questionable thing found in the entire bedroom was a pair of handcuffs in the nightstand drawer, which Kurama recognized as the pair Youko had given Shadow on Christmas, and the pair with which both the fire demon lovers had been chained to the bed at least on one occasion he knew of. He chuckled a bit.
"Well it seems they're fairly innocent after all," he said, sitting on the bed. Eclipse pouted.
"Yeah, right... They're nympho sex fiends and just good at hiding the evidence..."
"Were you expecting to find condoms or something?"
Eclipse shrugged.
"I don't figure Hiei would bother," the fox informed her.
"Why not? Does he want to get her pregnant?"
Kurama shrugged, pulling her onto the bed next to him. "I doubt it, but she probably wouldn't anyways."
"Why? Is Hiei sterile? Can demons control that sort of thing? Maybe he's like a Koorime and only gets pregnant once every 100 years."
Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Hiei can live as long as he wants and never get pregnant. He's male, and men are blessed with the inability to bear children."
"Well then maybe he's only able to make a baby every 100 years or something funky like that. Y'think?"
"I don't personally care about whether Hiei gets Shadow pregnant or not, nor do I care about the specifics of his sperm and impregnating abilities. You ask too many questions." He drew her close and kissed her.
Only one concern was ever on his mind when he was physically close to Eclipse: Youko. The fox constantly harassed him when he was with the girl, and he was always a little nervous that his alter ego would make him do something he'd regret. So far, though, the kitsune had behaved himself, and other than harassing and taunting and teasing endlessly, had left Kurama to handle his relationship with the girl how he saw fit. And right now, he saw it fit to make out with her on his best friend's bed.
His best friend, meanwhile, was enjoying dinner with his girlfriend. The couple was discussing little things that they never had time to discuss at home (about all they ever did at home was hang all over each other and sleep, since they couldn't do that at school or while Hiei was at the police station).
"How's your grades doing again? Did you start to pull those up?"
Shadow shrugged. "Yeah. No problem."
"That's good. So that play thing is tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"What's that about again?"
"Nothing that would interest you, but you're gonna go see it anyways because you love me."
"I already knew that. But what's it about?"
"There's these two families that hate each other for some stupid, unknown reason, and the only children of the two families fall in love, secretly get married, some stupid stuff happens, and they both kill themselves because they loved each other so much even though they'd only known each other for four days, tops."
Hiei tilted his head to the side. "This is some classic great literature?"
"Yeah."
"Something that stupid is held in such high regards?"
"Well, it's more the author that's held in high regards, but yeah, there's all kinds of Romeo and Juliet references all over the place every day..."
"Sounds pretty retarded to me."
"Oh, it is. It's very, very stupid. You won't be able to understand a word they say, either."
"Yeah, I kinda picked that up from the recitations you've spouted off at me."
She smiled sweetly. "So, you ready for the talent show?"
"Huh?"
"Our swordplay demonstration. You ready?"
"Are we doing something specific, or are we just gonna jump around and try to hit each other?"
"We could do a training exercise or something..."
"What are you and Eclipse doing?"
Shadow grinned. "Song and dance, my love."
"Oh. Great," he said sarcastically.
"It is."
"Riiight."
"Shut up and eat your vegetables."
Hiei looked slightly confused, but opted to ignore her.
Kurama and Eclipse fell asleep on Hiei and Shadow's bed. The redhead luckily had kept his cell phone in his pocket or he'd never have woken up to go get the fire demons from their date. When his phone rang, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Grabbing the offending device, he nearly flung it out the window, then realized the display said it was Hiei. He glanced at the clock. It was nearing 9:30. He regained his composure and answered his phone.
"Moshi moshi," he said.
"What the hell took you so long to answer?"
"It didn't take me long," he argued. Then he told him, "I was asleep."
"Oh were you. You're not screwing Eclipse in my house, are you?"
"No, no..."
"In your house?"
"No, Hiei."
"In hers?"
"Hiei."
"Sorry."
"I assume you want me to come pick you up?"
"Yes, that would be nice."
"Did you enjoy yourselves?"
"Yes, we did. Now get your ass over here. I'm paying the bill. You'd better be here within two minutes of us getting outside. Ja mata." He hung up. Kurama shook his head as he did as well. Eclipse was looking at him curiously.
"I've got about five minutes to get over there."
"But it takes longer than that to get there, doesn't it?"
"At speed limit on a moderately crowded road, yes."
"Oh... So what happens if you're late?"
"Shadow will probably chain me up and beat me."
Eclipse paused. "I'll drive." She jumped up and ran out of the room. Kurama sprang up and ran after her, calling for her to stop.
She did drive, and they did get there just as Hiei and Shadow were leaving the restaurant.
"Aren't they cute?" Kurama asked, elbowing Eclipse.
"Uh-huh," she replied sarcastically. The fox got out and opened the door for the couple, grinning at them.
"What's that stupid smile for?" Hiei asked irritably.
"Nothin'," Kurama replied, shutting the door and opening the driver's side door. "Out, Eclipse."
"You're just dumping me out on the side of the road someplace? Thanks a lot!"
"No, you're getting in the passenger's seat. I'm driving home."
"Uh-huh, that's what you think."
"It's my car. Get your ass out now, before I drag you out."
"Uh-huh, that's what you--"
"GET IN THE PASSENGER'S SEAT, DAMMIT!" Shadow screamed. Eclipse jumped into the passenger's seat instantly. Kurama got in the car and they were on their way home.
"So, what are you two going to do for the rest of the night?" Eclipse asked suggestively, turning around in her seat.
"Turn around and put on your seatbelt," Hiei commanded.
"You don't have yours on."
"Because I'm better than you. Now turn around."
"Are you two gonna screw? I think that'd be an excellent birthday present for Shadow."
"We're not going to screw. Turn around. You're like a little child," Hiei snapped.
"Am not."
"Are so."
"Am not."
"Are so."
"Am not."
"Is too."
"Huh?"
"Exactly. Now turn around."
Eclipse stared for a minute, until Shadow pressed her body against Hiei's chest and their lips met. Then the other girl sighed and turned around, pouting.
"They're making out in the back of your car, fox."
"I know. I don't mind, considering."
"Considering what?"
"You know."
"Um... No, I don't."
They conveniently pulled up at a stoplight and he leaned over and kissed her gently at first, then slid his hand behind her head, pulling her closer and flicking his tongue along her lower lip. She opened her mouth and Hiei cleared his throat.
"Light's green," he said plainly. Kurama pulled away, startled, and focused on driving the remainder of the way home, ignoring Hiei's smirk. It was one of those annoying smirks you can almost feel, drilling into the back of your head... When he glanced in the rearview mirror to glare at the smirk, he saw Hiei sitting there with Shadow on his lap, kissing and sucking and licking his neck.
"Are you sure you two aren't gonna fool around when we leave you home alone?"
"Are you sure you two aren't gonna fool around when you leave us home alone?" Hiei retorted.
"We may," Kurama replied vaguely. "You?"
"We will," Shadow said. "The only thing uncertain is how far we'll go."
"Well keep in control of yourselves, would you? The last thing I want to put up with in a year is... baby... you's."
"Yeah, you'd cope," she retorted. "I don't want to get knocked up quite yet." She tenderly kissed Hiei's lips. "Get that, Hiei? No babies."
"Neither of us wants kids, koi. I'm not going to knock you up and make you bear my child."
"Good to hear," Kurama said.
They pulled up outside Shadow's house a short time later and Hiei opened the door. He paused with one leg out of the car, staring at Eclipse and Kurama with a raised eyebrow. They were kissing.
"Just couldn't wait, could you?" Shadow teased. "You sure you two aren't a couple?"
"They're a couple of lustful teenagers, that's what," Hiei said, grabbing Shadow's hand and pulling her out of the car with him. He leaned back inside before shutting the door and said, "We'll see you two lovebirds at school tomorrow."
The couple went directly up to Shadow's room. She changed her clothes in the blink of an eye with her trademark spinny-in-a-circle thing. Hiei, however, didn't have any powers of doom, and grabbed some pants and a shirt, making to leave the room to change, but Shadow jumped on him and made him sit on the bed. She straddled him.
"I can think of a better way," she murmured, pushing his jacket down his arms. He smiled and kissed her.
"I thought we weren't gonna have sex?"
"We're not, koi," she answered. "I'm just gonna help you change your clothes. It's more fun this way."
Hiei smiled. "It certainly is." Shadow removed his tie and went to work on his shirt, kissing down his chest as she pulled each button open. Gently tugging the bottom of the shirt out of his pants, she pushed that off his shoulders too, running her hands down his arms as she removed it completely.
"I love you," he said. She kissed his lips gently.
"I know. And I love you too. Stand up."
She wrapped her legs around his middle as he stood, and though he knew she had plenty of strength to hold herself up, he put his hands on her ass to hold her. Her hands squeezed his shoulders, then she moved one to the back of his head to draw him into a passionate kiss. Hiei moaned, and she reluctantly pulled back a bit--just enough so he could talk without having her tongue in his mouth.
"How are we ever going to keep doing this without snapping one day?" he asked quietly, slightly out of breath. They were so close his lips nearly touched hers when he talked and they were breathing each others' exhales.
"We aren't." She kissed his lips gently. "But we have to." She kissed him tenderly again. "At least until New Year's."
"It's only April," he noted.
"We can make it eight months, can't we? We've made it this far." She pressed her open mouth against his, sucking on his tongue when he slid it into her mouth. He moaned, and she stopped, opening her mouth against his. They continued for a few more minutes, the kiss getting wetter, more frantic and fierce, until they both got control and pulled away, eyes opening wide. When he finally managed to regain composure enough to speak, Hiei said, "Barely."
"What?"
"You said we made it this far. I say barely."
"Oh yeah," she dismissed, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her forehead on his. "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
Trusting Hiei to support her, Shadow unlocked her legs from around him and put her feet on the ground. His hands moved to rest on her lower back, at the top of her shorts. She grabbed the top of his pants and tugged downwards slightly.
"Can I?"
He paused, then nodded.
A few minutes later, Hiei was in a clean, comfortable set of clothes, and Shadow had his tux and her dress all tucked away in the closet (right alongside her slutty clothes). She shut the cloest door and leaned on it, looking at Hiei for a minute.
"What now?"
"Now?" He shrugged. "We should probably get out of the bedroom."
"Good call." She took his hand and they left the room. "You don't have to work tonight, do you?"
Hiei paused, then pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and opened it, dialing Kyouken's office phone. It rang once, then the man answered.
"Tokyo Police, Police Chief Kyouken speaking."
"Hey, Kyouken," Hiei said. "I figured you'd be pretty pissed if I didn't give you a bit of forewarning that I'm not coming to work tonight."
"Jaganshi, you bastard!"
"I'm feeling a bit out of it tonight. It'd be a terrible thing if I came to work in my state and something awful happened, wouldn't it?"
"N--"
"I thought so. Sayonara. Jerk." He hung up and looked at Shadow. "Nope, I don't have to work."
The girl chuckled. "I love the way you handled that. Very professional."
"Thank you. What do you say we take a walk?"
"A moonlit walk through the forest? I say we go for it."
"Excellent."
Shadow didn't even bother to change her clothes--which, incidentally, were merely her skimpy pajamas... poor Hiei... She put on a pair of knee-high boots, which made Hiei chuckle because she looked kind of like a hooker. They left, hand-in-hand, and wandered through the forest for hours.
After the first hour, they ran into Karasu at a stream. Hiei looked a bit unhappy, but Shadow soothed him with a kiss and waved to the crow demon. He jumped the stream and stood next to Hiei, smiling warmly.
"What brings you two out here at such an hour of the night?"
"It's my birthday," Shadow said, grinning. "We're just wandering around, spending quality time together."
"In the middle of the woods. Very romantic," Karasu noted.
"It is," Shadow agreed, ignoring his sarcasm. "Nobody else is around."
"Except you," Hiei added.
"I detect hostility, Hiei," Karasu said. "Do you really hate me that much?"
"I hate you, but I don't know how much you're implying I hate you."
"What?"
"Exactly."
Shadow blinked. "Hiei, you're picking up on my mannerisms. That's absolutely forbidden. You're supposed to be aloof. I'm supposed to be stupid."
"You are stupid."
"Thanks. But that's not the point."
"What is the point, then?"
"I love you."
"What? How is that the point?"
"I don't know. It's just the first thing that came to mind." She kissed him tenderly.
"Well, it was nice seeing you two lovebirds and all, but-- Say, Kurama's not at your house, is he?" Karasu asked hopefully.
"Nope. Sorry. He's home with Eclipse, I think."
"With Eclipse? You mean, with Eclipse, or... with Eclipse?"
"They're probably making out," Hiei said bluntly. Karasu gasped. Shadow took his hand in her free one.
"I'm sorry, Karasu," she lamented.
"You mean, he's... he's with her... like that?"
"They're friends with benefits, to the farthest reaches of my knowledge," Shadow said. "So technically, he's still free game."
"Oh! Oh, thank God! Shadow, you're an angel." He kissed her cheek. Her eye twitched, and Hiei flat out punched the crow.
"Don't touch her again," he snarled.
"I'm sorry!" Karasu said. He got up and scurried away like a hurt dog. The remainder of their walk went over without incident, except for a few times when one or the other ended up pinned to trees or on their back on the ground in a sudden burst of lust... However, they both kept all their clothes on (not like Shadow was wearing many to begin with) and made it home around midnight to sleep, safe and sound, in each others' arms.
Awwwwwwwww...
Didn't the lack of R-rated stuff frighten you? There wasn't any r-rated stuff, was there? I just finished reading this, I should remember... Anyways, my point is... KARASU GOT PUNCHED! Ha ha ha, sadistic bastard deserved it... -sighs- Boy do I love Karasu.
And didn't my prompt update frighten you as well? I figured I'd better update quick before some other nutjob decided to give me 26 invalid reviews. If anyone else DARES to do that, I will BLOCK YOU AND THEN SEND YOU SO MANY BAD VIBES THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF IT, YOU'LL BE TORN LIMB FROM LIMB BY MY FIERY MINION OF HELL!
However, I send out abig, warm thank you to all my VALID reviewers. I love you all like a dictator loves her minio- Er, I mean, like a mother loves her children. -cough, cough... Good save... cough...-