(7-13-05) Yay! 991 Reviews! We'll hit 1,000 with this chapter, I know it!
In the mean while... I was writing this chapter on/around June 20. Don't ask how I know. It's my power of first sight.

Warnings: Death and making out. I don't think there's much else you'd all complain about. Sadism. And Karasu.

See the chapter number? I couldn't remember what chapter I was on. I had to go back and look. Now... This chapter is even shorter than the last one (which apparently, according to all you, wasn't short... O.o)

Oh, and the first chapter of my next story is finished... Well, I finished it a few days ago and haven't done any more with it since then. Heh heh. So it might suck. I haven't reread any of the stuff I wrote yet... I'll have to make some edits, probably...

CHAPTER... wtf... uh... 31
Destruction

All the little arguments that broke out after Ryu and Masaru's departure were eventually settled, by Kurama the Peacekeeper and Kokuei the Leg-Biter, and while Shadow bandaged Karasu's bloodied leg in the infirmary, Hiei sat on the next bed over watching her quietly. Finally, once she'd finished, she spun around and grabbed his ear.

"Something you wanna say?"

"Ow! Bitch!"

"Oh, Hiei, you know I'm sorry," Shadow said, letting go and placing her hand gently on his cheek. "You know I love you, right?"

He nodded reluctantly.

"I'm not ditching you for Karasu. I never would do that. He's just... too... uh, well, he's Karasu."

"Thank you Shadow," the crow muttered from about three feet away. Hiei spared him a glance.

"You're welcome," she replied without moving her eyes from Hiei's face. "Anyways, Hiei, you know I'm just trying to keep Karasu from killing himself because of rejection."

"What do I care if he kills himself because of rejection? That's his problem."

"Thank you Hiei," Karasu muttered miserably.

"You're welcome," the demon replied, eyes locked with Shadow's.

"Now, are you okay?" Shadow asked.

"My leg rather hurts," Karasu answered. Both fire demons got evil looks on their faces and Karasu sighed. "I know, I know, you weren't talking to me and you don't care."

"Yes," Hiei finally said in answer to Shadow. "I'm okay now, koishii."

"Can we go make love?"

"No."

"Damn."

"But we can do this." He pulled her close and kissed her. Karasu watched dejectedly, then let out a whimper.

"Everybody's got somebody to be with except for me!"

Shadow hesitated, then pulled away from Hiei and grinned. "You've got Kokuei."

"That dog nearly ripped off my leg!" he screeched. Shadow burst out laughing at the uncharacteristically high pitch of his voice. Hiei chuckled and slid off the bed, taking Shadow's hand.

"I've got work, koishii," he reminded.

"Oh yeah." She gently kissed his cheek. "We've got a little time before that."

"Yes... Yes we do."

She flashed him a devilish grin, which Karasu caught sight of and nearly screamed. He'd seen that grin, or something very similar, a few times between people who were about to go screw each other silly. He didn't want to think about sex right now. That was so cruel. Right now, he wanted... to kill something. To share that sick 'intimacy.'

Then again, sex wasn't sounding all that bad either. Maybe he could go rape someone.

But with his leg ripped up and bleeding, he didn't really think that was the best of ideas.

Damn. How to entertain himself.

Well, he could sleep, or sit on his ass and count the strands in the spiderwebs that hung delicately in the corners of the room, or he could... plot ways to get Kurama in his bed.

Decisions, decisions.

He aimed for the latter.

The first thought that came to his mind was to kill Eclipse, but really he didn't want to. Death was such an intimate thing... Perhaps... No! Perhaps that was perfect! Perhaps he could make Kurama jealous... share such an intimacy with his mate... and then... capture the beautiful fox... and... do many unmentionable things to him. It was a wonderful plan. It would work.

He sat up, swung his feet to the floor, and stood. One step, two, then a low snarl made him freeze.

Kokuei came into the doorway, teeth bared.

Karasu quickly returned to his bed.

If dogs could laugh, Kokuei was as she joyously trotted away, up the stairs, and jumped on the couch next to Kurama and Eclipse, who were half asleep and watching some dubbed movie on TV. They hadn't even noticed Hiei and Shadow sneak up the stairs moments earlier.

That's okay, because all Hiei and Shadow were doing was making out on their bed.

Without shirts.

Touching each other.

Grinding their hips together in an utterly sexual manner.

WRITHING AND SCREAMING EACH OTHER'S NAMES AND-- Okay. Got carried away. Sorry.

Suddenly, Shadow pushed Hiei away. He made a pathetic noise of surprise and unhappiness.

"What about Kyouken?"

"Eh!" Hiei questioned intelligently.

"I mean, he's totally fucked up your life! We have to do something about him! We have to... to... beat the shit out of him or something! Come on!"

"Shadow, I don't give a damn about Kyouken right now!" he whined in a very pathetic manner. Shadow's hands, on his shoulders, trailed downwards.

"Oh. Okay! Who cares about Kyouken!" She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him closer to continue where they'd left off.

At work that night, Kyouken was more insuffrable than usual. He bitched at Hiei every time he saw him, even if the little demon was doing exactly what he'd been told. Finally, Hiei got fed up and slammed his fist down on his desk. It cracked slightly, but no one could tell.

"SHUT UP!"

Kyouken, along with the entire office, froze.

I'm gonna kill him.

That was Hiei's only thought as Kyouken grabbed the front of his uniform.

"What?" the police captain hissed.

"I said Shut up," Hiei snarled through clenched teeth. "Get your slimey hands off me."

"Uhh, Hiei?" Saiko murmured nervously.

"You dare to talk to me like that?" Kyouken hissed.

"Obviously," Hiei growled. "Now didn't I ask you to get your dirty hands off me?"

"Actually I think you said slimey," Saiko muttered. "But what do I matter?"

Kyouken did not let go of Hiei. In fact, he dragged Hiei out the back entrance and slammed him up against the wall.

"You're so damn lucky I haven't killed you yet, Jaganshi."

"You're lucky I haven't ripped out your entrails and hung you with them," Hiei growled. "Now let GO OF ME!"

"SHUT UP!"

In the space of about three seconds, Kyouken's gun left its holster, pressed against Hiei's head, and the fire demon swore, vanishing and ripping his uniform in the process of getting away from a point-blank gunshot to his temple.

Hiei reappeared not far from Kyouken. The man swore and spun, aiming his gun at Hiei and pulling the trigger.

Dodge, dodge, dodge... The fire demon waited until Kyouken got pissed or ran out of bullets. The former happened before the latter and he lunged at the little demon, who, of course, dodged. Hiei punched Kyouken a few times, knocking him out cold, then yanked the ward off his Jagan, being sure his back was turned to the station in case any curious spectators were peering through the windows, as he was sure they were.

Finishing his task, he replaced his ward and went back inside. Going straight to Kyouken's office, he tore through the desk and filing cabinets until he found the contract he'd signed, tore it into a thousand pieces, threw it in the trash, and burned it.

Feeling slightly better about himself, he proceeded to remove his police jacket, burn it, and go into the main office. Everyone was watching him. He didn't care.

"You may want to take that fuckhead home," he said as he went through the stuff on his computer. "I think he may wake up a changed person."

Finding that he'd left nothing of importance on the computer, he turned and strolled to the door.

"I'm done here," he stated calmly. "I had some amount of fun. You all... keep on... doing your thing... If you ever arrest me you'll end up the same way Fuckhead will be when he wakes up. Ja mata!" He turned and left.

Returning home around midnight, rather than his customary 6 AM, sparked interest.

"What the fuck are you doing home?" Eclipse asked. "Why do you look like shit?"

"Because he's Hiei. That's just what he looks like," Karasu stated. Hiei punched him in the nose. "Where's Shadow?"

"Upstairs..." Kurama answered cautiously. Hiei strolled up the stairs like it wasn't odd. Shadow was playing video games and barely noticed him enter the room until he sat on the bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. Then she yelped and paused the game, spinning around and nearly hitting him. She would have, too, if he hadn't dodged.

"Damn!"

"Hiei?"

"God... You almost killed me!"

"What are you doing here!"

"I quit," he stated plainly. "Kyouken will wake up a changed man. And find his garbage can full of the ashes from my contract. And my police jacket. And everything else that had been in there, since fire isn't picky."

"Um... 'Changed man'?"

"He's gonna be a woman. With a dick, of course."

"Gyeh!"

"Actually, I think he's gonna be a mother of ten... They all moved away, of course, and now he sits at home with his cat and his knitting."

Shadow snorted. "You..."

"Kyouken is a changed man, indeed," Hiei muttered. Shadow put a hand behind his head and smashed their mouths together, kissing him fervently.

"You're wonderful!" she gasped.

"I know," he said, smiling.

"You're also under arrest," came Koenma's voice from the doorway.

"YOU'RE NOT ARRESTING HIEI! I DON'T GIVE A FLYING RAT'S ASS WHAT HE DID, YOU'RE NOT ARRESTING HIM! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! NOW!" Shadow screamed, so loud the closest neighbors heard her, God knows how far away.

"Eep," was all Koenma could manage to say.

...Ten minutes later...

"Incidentally, I saw what you did before Hiei went to work," Koenma said off-handedly.

There was a short pause. Hiei and Shadow stared at Koenma. He stared back. Then Shadow, ever so slowly, stood up. Ever so slowly walked over to Koenma. Stood in front of him for a moment.

Then punched him in the face.

Leaving him lying in the hallway, she slammed the bedroom door and stalked back over to Hiei, plopping down on his lap and leaning back against him.

"Now I'm all upset," she whined. Hiei turned off the TV and drew her into an embrace.

"I love you."

"I know... I love you too."

"I bet Koenma will get in trouble."

"What for?"

"For badgering us," Hiei replied, laying back on the bed with Shadow in his arms. "For spying on us." Holding her close, he petted her hair. "For generally being stupid. C'mon. Let's get some sleep."

And indeed they did. The next few days were spent just chilling out, and enjoying Hiei's freedom. It came down to the next to last Friday of school before summer vacation before Shadow finally declared that Nakada had to be dealt with.

"Nakada has to be dealt with," she declared, standing up in the middle of gym class while everyone was doing stretches. Hiei glanced at her, eyebrow raised.

"I know," he stated. "Now sit your ass down and keep doing your stretches."

Shadow blinked. "Okay." She did.

When class was over, Shadow returned to her casual clothes and ran out of the gym like her ass was on fire.

"Where's she going?" Kurama asked.

"To find Nakada's car and pop the tires," Hiei replied.

"Why?"

"So he can't get away from her on her motorcycle."

Kurama stared at him for a minute. "What?"

"I don't know, that's just what she told me."

There was another pause. "Oh... Okay." Kurama blinked. "Why's she gonna chase him on her motorcycle?"

"To kill him, probably. Or maul him. Or hope he falls into the street just as a bus is coming."

"She's not allowed to kill humans either, is she?"

"She has before."

"When!"

"I dunno..."

Eclipse popped up out of nowhere and jumped on Kurama. "Can we go to Subway?"

"I swear, you have a one track mind!" he complained.

"That's okay. Shadow does too," Hiei reminded.

"Yeah, but at least it's not Subway sandwiches!"

"No, it's sex," the fire demon muttered. He looked thoughtful, then shrugged and walked away, ignoring Kurama's "Hey! You're not gonna help me out here?"

Shadow easily found Nakada's car. She slashed the tires, then leaned on the car to wait for the boy to come out. Hiei appeared next to her to wait. When Nakada showed, he looked furious. Not an unusual countenance for his ugly mug. If you made a chart of his most commonly used facial expressions, "confused" and "stupid" would be the only other ones on there.

"What the hell are you doing on my car?" he snapped.

"Shittin'," Shadow answered casually, examining her nails. "I mean sitting!"

"Get off! Unless you have a death wish!"

"Do you still want to rape me?" she asked curiously.

Nakada opened the back door of his car and reached inside, pulling out a crowbar.

"Holy SHIT!" Shadow yelped. Hiei, sitting on the roof of the car, watched with curious eyes as the thug moved towards Shadow with the crowbar at the ready.

"I'll take that as a no," she muttered, dodging his first swing. "So, you get any letter from Arisa from boot camp yet?"

"SHUT UP!" Swing.

Dodge. "Nah, I don't think I will. So how close were you two? I'm judging that you were pretty close by the way you get all defensive."

"Shut UP!"

Nakada didn't notice, but Hiei did, that Shadow was luring him nearer and nearer to the road. She continued flinging insults - and let me tell you, they got quite creative - as she dodged back more and more.

Finally, she reached the road, putting Nakada right in the middle of one lane. And, right on time, there came a semi.

"Bye bye," Shadow said sweetly, waving. Nakada froze. Then... splat.

Actually, it was more like THUD! 'Cause the semi was slowing down by the time it hit him. However, it was enough to kill him. Terrible thing, that. I feel like a criminal now. XD

The semi stopped and Shadow trotted around to the driver's seat, looking up. The door opened and hit her, and she fell over. Hiei strolled up just as none other than Random Surfer Dude himself got out of the driver's seat.

"RSD," he stated.

"Hey man!" he said, hugging Hiei. Hiei blinked, wide-eyed.

"Uh, yeah. Hey."

"RSD!" Shadow squealed, jumping up from the ground and flinging her arms around him and Hiei both.

Eclipse popped up out of nowhere and flung her arms around all three, squealing, "RSD!" through a mouthful of Subway sandwich.

"Hey," RSD said casually. "I kinda think I like, might have run over something, dude and dudettes."

"You did," Shadow informed him. "That's a good thing, too. His name was Hiroshi Nakada. He was DEVIL SPAWN!"

"Oh. Sweet."

"You did us a huge favor."

"Awesome."

"I love you."

"You love Hiei, dudette."

"Absolutely true," Shadow said, prying away from the group hug to pet her traumatized boyfriend's hair. "I love Hiei. He's traumatized a bit right now, so he'll be kinda distant for a while."

"Ehh?" he managed. Shadow screeched.

"He lives!"

"Man! I gotta go!" Eclipse said. "I left my sandwich with Kurama-koi!" Poof. Shadow squealed again.

"DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE CALLED HIM?"

"Yah, man," RSD said. "That's sweet."

"I know!" Shadow squealed. "I was SO right to harass them about getting together."

"Except that Karasu's a total wreck, but nobody cares about him, right?" Hiei added. "Right."

Shadow squealed yet AGAIN. "HIEI! You're out of your traumatized state!"

"Yeah..."

"Awesome," RSD said. "Well, dudette, I have to go."

"Sweet," Shadow said. She hugged him again, then watched as he got in his semi and drove off with Nakada plastered to the front. The second nobody was looking, RSD and his semi totally vanished.

"Well that was convenient," she noted. Hiei nodded.

"You arranged that, didn't you?"

"No! I swear I didn't, Hiei. Some things really ARE up to the authoress and not us."

"Uh-huh..." He strolled away with his hands in his pockets. Shadow followed. The second she caught up, an airplane came spiralling out of the sky and exploded on the place she'd just been standing.

"No way you didn't arrange that one," Hiei said, watching the screaming corpse of the pilot struggle to get out of the plane alive.

"No, that was totally the authoress. And I totally commend her for it," Shadow said, a sadistic hint in her eye. "BURN, baby, BURN!"

"You're drawing civilian attention," Hiei noted. "Come along, koishii. We can watch R-rated movies in which people scream and bleed. You can watch the episodes of Yu Yu Hakusho where Kurama gets the shit beat out of him by Karasu and screams in agony."

Shadow looked at him, a malicious glint in her eye. "Really? You'll actually LET me watch it?"

"Yes."

"Normally you forbid it."

"Go watch Yu Yu Hakusho," Hiei said, shoving her in the direction of home.

"Yes!" She cheered and danced to the parking lot, jumped on her motorcycle, and sped home, grabbing Hiei's wrist as she passed him and swinging him onto the bike behind her.

Yay. One chapter left.

Guess what? I GET TO SEE CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY ON FRIDAY! Everybody do a dance! DANCE, DAMMIT! XD And Johnny Depp is on Jay Leno tonight. I know, most of you don't care. And people are gonna come along and read this story in a few months and be like, "...What the fuck..." I bet that movie will give me nightmares. It's just so... happy-looking. I'll have nightmares about it. Believe me.