Everyone was at the Kerwin house, eating, chatting, and most of all, being there for each other. From good friends to people that Jeff worked with, everyone was there. Ashley kept up a normal conversation with her friends but the back of her mind was stuck on what Toby had told her the other day. When she finally caught a glimpse of how unhappy he was, though his friends were trying to cheer him up, she decided to escape to her room so she could really do some thinking.
Craig was the only one to notice her quiet escape.
Spinner noticed Craig looking up the stairs, "If you want to talk to her... then go," He spoke slowly as if Craig were stupid, "Quit being a wuss."
Craig just looked at Spinner contemplating whether he take Spinner's advice. Throughout the years he came to a conclusion that he shouldn't take any of Spinner's advice because he'd just end up in even more trouble than when he started.
"I think you shouldtry the crab puffs. Forget talking to Ashley." Jimmy said while eating. Jimmy nodded in approval of the food, all he did was eat.
"Why?" Craig asked.
Jimmy shrugged, "Why what?"
"Why forget her?" Craig mumbled. It has been about three weeks since Ashley left and he conviced himself that he was over her.
Jimmy lifted an eyebrow, "Fine, go...it's just... she just lost her step-dad. Damn, Let the girl breathe for a minute. The last thing she wants is drama..."
"No, don't listen to Dr. Phil, Craig" Spinner pushed Jimmy to the side a little in order to get in front of Craig, "I know Ashley!" He empasised with his hand gestures. Jimmy just looked at SPinner like 'right, he know's Ashley'. Spinner went on, "This could be your only chance... cease the day, my friend. LIsten to the moral of Jeff's story. Life? Is short." Spinner said nodding his head. Jimmy and CRaig couldn't tell if he was mocking Craig or really being serious. Since when did Spinner talk about ceasing the day and living life. Jimmy kept quiet because It was weird for all of them.
Ashley sat on the edge of her bed with her hands on her lap. She was in her own room yet she felt to awkward because it was like she had to be doing something but she didn't know what it was. There was a knock on the door as she turned her head.
Craig and AShley looked at each other before anyone said a word, "Hey." Craig uttered.
Ashley got up, "Craig. Hi!"
Craig began walking towards her. AS he got closer he walked around her and aimed for her desk. Ashley turned in his direction as she watched him look at the papers on her desk.
"Are you ok?" Craig asked, "I mean... funerals suck." He meant it in the most careful way possible. Craig knew what loss was about more than anyone.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine... I don't know about Toby though." There was an awkward tone in Ashley's voice.
Craig lifted up a piece of paper and he scrutinized it as much as he could in a matter of a few seconds, "You didn't sign it?" Craig felt hopeful. He was talking about the form to agree to the internship. It was the contract she needed to initally take the next step and she hadn't signed it.
She pulled the paper out of his hands and looked at it, "No, not yet."
"But you're still going?" He asked. She nodded a yes to him and now his hopes were gone again, "Yeah." Craig cleared his throat, "So exaclty how is Toby?" He asked, "Doing better, getting worse, yelling? Fighting? Anything?" Craig would much rather talk about Toby than Ashley going back to London.
"Uh, well... we sort of fought. I mean, it's not really a fight if he's the only one talking, right?" She asked.
"What happened?" He asked non chalantley.
Ashley didn't want to tell him the specific details, so she summarized it for him, "He thinks it's wrong for me to leave. To go back to London... then he sort of just told me to leave." Ashley looked away. She felt horrible just talking about it. Craig wasn't saying a word because he agreed with Toby. Ashley was waiting for some form of consolation. Anything. She wanted him to say it was ok for her to go back, for her to live her dream, to get a career, this was it. He didn't say a word.
"If he doesn't want you to leave, then why are you going?" Craig asked. In some way, he was asking for himself, he wanted AShley to stay but he didn't want to say it directly to her face.
Ashley was in awe. That's not what she wanted to hear from Craig. "Because this is a once in a lifetime thing?" Her tone shifted again, "Why?" There was a pause while she thought.
Craig didn't want to hold back any of this opinions anymore, it was a thing he would normally do. He wanted to tell her exactly what he thought, whether it was right or wrong, "Tob thinks it's wrong...and I can't blame him."
She was listening.
"I know I'm not your keeper, but right now you seem to be the strongest Kerwin in this house. You have Toby down there hiding in a hole, and then your mom who's planning to work herself to death for you guys." Craig snarled, "Sure, you left the first time and everything was just peachy... but look around. If you leave, then there's going to be nothing for you to come back to." He was being brutally blunt with her.
Ashley was a little bit insulted about the things he said about her family but it did make her think for a moment, "They're stronger than that, Craig."
"Maybe... but that kind of stuff takes time." There was so much more he wanted to say, especially since he didn't have much of a say in their break up. He had a lot he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that if she really loved him, she wouldn't have left the way she did, he thought it was wrong of her to do something like that.
"You can't leave someone while they're in recovery, Ashley." Craig's words could be translated in two ways, "It's wrong... but that's what you do, right? You lead them on by telling them you're going to be there for them and then when they get a little bit better you leave." He picked up a pen of Ashley's desk and basically handed it to her, "You might as well sign the papers." He held the papers and pen in front of her. She didn't take it.
Ashley shook her head. She was confused and angry because now she thought Craig was talking about their break up, and he was. It wasn't about Ashley leaving her family, it was about Ashley leaving Craig right when it seemed that he was getting better.
Ashley knew what he was doing, even if he was doing it unconsciously, she knew what it was, "I don't want to fight you." She said sternly. Tears were filling AShley's eyes because she felt bad about leaving Craig, she felt bad about hurting Toby, she just felt horrible, "I'm... I just can't do this." She didn't want to feel sorry anymore. She was happy about London and she was angry at the fact that no one cut her slack for doing something for herself. She walked out of her room leaving Craig. He followed her down the stairs.
Jimmy stopped Craig before he could get out the door to follow AShley, "Whoa, what happened?"
Craig waited till Ashley shut the door behind her, he couldn't follow her now, "If Ashley leaves? I can never talk to her again." He put emphasis on the word never.
Jimmy thought he was over reacting, "Ok drama queen." He made sure Craig didn't follow Ashley, "Let her go."
Craig looked at Jimmy as he told him to let her go. What did that mean? All Craig could do now was hand the contract and pen that he was still holding and gave it to Jimmy. Jimmy didn't know what it was, but he took it and looked at it.
Craig calmed down, "Let her go..." he thought outloud as Jimmy read the contract, "Jimmy, you don't know Ashley like I do. She can't leave."
"I don't know her?" Jimmy's scrunched his face, "She is my ex-girlfriend."
"And you want me to let her go the same way you did? I don't think I can do that." He said mockingly. There was something about the way that Craig emphasised "the same way you did?" How their conversation got into Jimmy and Ashley's past threw Jimmy off track but Craig decided he had enough for one day and left for home.
Jimmy walked out to the back to find Ashley. She was sitting on the bench facing the other direction.
Jimmy walked around the table so she could see him. He remained standing, "Here..." He handed Ashley's internship contract to her.
She didn't have the strength to interrogate Jimmy as to why he had her papers, part of her didn't even really care, "Thanks." she said as she gazed down at the papers in her hands. Jimmy stood awkwardly near her as she sat deciding whether he should even say anything or just walk away.
Jimmy was about to walk away before Ashley thought outloud, "What's so wrong about this?" she remained staring at the contract and then looked up at Jimmy.
Jimmy had to say something, he needed to prove to himself that he did "know" Ashley more than Craig thought, "I read some of the stuff on that... and personally, I'd say go for it." He sat next to her, "I think it's pretty cool."
"Well you're the only one then." Ashley looked back down at the paper, "Toby and Craig are pretty much going to hate me if I leave. They probably hate me right now..."
"Who cares? This is your chance to do something for you." Jimmy started, "this isn't even about them... Toby'll get over it, he's family.. and Craig's just going to have to deal. You can't make everyone happy..."
"Yea..." Ashley replied, "But you can't always get what you want either."
Jimmy chuckled, "So what... you're gonna give all this up because of what other people think?" He looked at her seriousely and decided to bring up something taboo, "Isn't this why we're not friends anymore?"
Ashley looked at Jimmy worried that now he was going to start new drama for her, "You're not doing this to me too are you?"
"No, its just that I came out here to talk up Craig for you. He's thinking about shutting you out if you leave." Jimmy said.
"I guess It's good to know that Craig has friends..." Ashley said apathetically as if it were an auto-response, "But you haven't really said anything interesting about him."
"That's cause I'm your friend too." He got up, "If you go, I got your back... if you stay," He tilted his head back and forth in a thinking motion, "I still got your back." He went back into the house.
Ashley for the first time felt at ease, as if everything were ok. She didn't think that one conversation with Jimmy Brooks, of all people, would be the one to make her feel better. And the fact that he said he was her friend gave her something to look forward to. She missed talking to Jimmy and just knowing the fact that he would be there for her, and now he was back in her life. Fixing things with Jimmy was like a step towards what she needed. It have her a hope that she thought she had lost and now she was ready to face her mom ,Toby, Craig... and maybe even London.