Kitten: GUESS WHAT?!… I'M UPDATING! cricket chirps humph… well, welcome to the second chapter of You deserve better, staring Rei & Kai and the more important co-stars, my OC Kilana & Tala (Yuri). Just to let you know, in case you didn't read my profile for work updates, this'll probably be the only update in a period of two to three weeks as I have exams fast approaching. I'll still write during this time, no worries, and I'll even post if I get time. But still, better safe than sorry, right?
Rei: glares at Kitten just get on with it… I HAVEN'T SHOWN UP YET!!! pouts
Kai: ¬¬ it's all about you now, isn't it…
Rei: smiles OF COURSE, SILLY KAI-KOI! It's always about me. smiles evilly
Kai & Kitten: OO! … ¬¬… right…
Kitten: well, hate to admit it but yes this chapter is actually almost all about Rei… But first! Responses to reviews:
UlTiMaTe KaI LuVa: OO… you must really wanna know what happens next. Well, here you go. Hope you enjoy smiles
crazy nek0-JIN: Kai is breaking Rei's heart right now. But it's not going to turn out bad, I promise! As for hearing Rei's depressed, miserable, anguish thoughts, today's your lucky day! I was going to do it anyway… I'm not the type of authoress that leaves you completely clueless… unless… that's what you want… wink
Bluumberry: originally, it's supposed to be Boris Balcov's Japanese name, but since it just really sounds weird now that I think I about it, I'm changing it back to Boris and using the English version of Boris (Bryan)'s name… (To all readers: gomen if this causes inconvenience, it just really sounds weird to me now…)
Sasukes IceKitten: Thanks for the compliments! blushes and smiles no begging needed! Here's the update you want. And it's okay to babble, I do it all the time! Rei: duh… Kitten: shh!
Platinum Rei: blushes thanks! This is sorta my semi-first story posted and I worked hard. Glad you like this!
emir: why look who it is… my Hikari who doesn't read Beyblade but has to now 'coz I'm your Yami raspberry skimming… tsk. You aren't skimming no more now, BETA READER!
Kitten: thanks for all the awesome reviews, you're all the best! I honestly didn't think I'd get so many. Thanks again for the support! And thanks to my Hikari, emir for beta-reading… hehe…
Summary: see chapter 1
Pairings: Kai x Rei, Yuri x OC & Takao x Max (I found a way to include it! YAY!)
Warnings: again, a bit OOC. PG-13 for fluff, course language and sexual innuendo/implications (no more Bryan perverted-ness, I've decided against it. No point.)
This chapter: miserable depressed-ness, somewhat angst, maybe some dark & mild suicidal thoughts all from one Kon Rei. Rei: are you mad?! Kitten: no… looks up innocently
Disclaimer: crying i… don't… own… BEYBLADE!!! bawls ahem… err… enough dramatics, Beyblade/Bakuten Shoot is © by Takao Aiko. You knew that. I also don't own the songs I'm putting in… Slipped Away and Forgotten both by Avril Lavigne and Down by Blink-182. Avril's new CD is really good by the way and Blink's song is good too, go buy their CDs or download it… whatever. Joking! Wouldn't want you all to get sued by their record companies.
Kitten: all done. Now, the story continues…
Notes: "talking", italics = thinking in POV, 'thinking in non POV', {telepathic messages}, - song lyrics -
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You deserve better: II
The next night in the BladeBreakers' hotel living room…
Kenny returned to his and the rest of the BladeBreakers' hotel suite around 8:00 pm with some dinner to find Takao and Max sprawled out on the couch and the T.V. still blaring and on one of those weird entertainment channels with the gossip shows on that surprised Kenny. 'Odd… why would they be watching that…? It's usually cartoons at this time of the night…' Then Kenny spotted the remote sticking out under Takao's arse. 'Oh wait, now I know why. Takao's sleeping on the remote. No wonder… sheesh.' Takao had his head on the armrest and an arm underneath his head. Max was pillowed stomach-first on Takao, his arm draped over Takao's stomach and dangling over the edge, entwined with Takao's other hand and his legs were all tangled with Takao's. Kenny put the take-out in the kitchenette smiling and sat down in the armchair that was next to the couple while carefully grabbing the remote from under Takao's arse and turning off the television. Sensing the presence, they slowly blinked their way back into the land of consciousness and smiled at Kenny.
"Awake now, I presume?" Kenny asked, amused. Takao grunted and Max nodded yawning. "Good. I got all of us some dinner. It's in the kitchen."
"Great, I'm starving!" Takao said attempting to get up and go eat but unfortunately was unable to because of a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed blader who had yet to get off of him. "Uh, Maxie… could you get off me so I can go eat?" Takao asked, smiling sheepishly.
"Nope. We're not eating until we find out if Rei wants some first." Max said sternly. Takao whimpered like a dog wanting food and pouted down at Max. Max simply shook his head making Takao pout even more.
"Speaking of Rei…. Has he come out yet?" Kenny asked. Max and Takao shook their heads sadly. "Not yet?" Takao and Max shook their heads again. "Not even once? This isn't good. He hasn't come out since we saw Kai yesterday…" Kenny trailed off. Max and Takao understood what Kenny was trying to say and nodded. By now, Kenny had already opened up Dizzi on the coffee table.
"Chief, let me ask you something. Would you come out of your room if you found out the person you loved most left you without notice and joined up with the enemy? I wouldn't." Dizzi replied. Max sighed.
"Poor Rei… he's so heart-broken over this. He has barely eaten at all… or come out of his room once… or stopped crying for that matter. Except for when he exhausted himself and fell asleep crying… but still…" Max said, reliving the heart-wrenching sobs in his mind from Rei and once Kai's bedroom where the heart-broken neko-jin had locked himself into since yesterday afternoon after Kai's match with first the All Starz, then the White Tigers and then the surprising but horrifying taking of all the bit-beasts and was still currently sobbing his eyes out.
"Who would've thought that Kai would sink to this? How could he do this to Rei?! Of all people, Rei! Come on! He was the honourable one besides Rei! You'd think he'd keep his promises to Rei!" Takao rambled angrily, gritting his teeth. "All Kai said… 'Oh but I love Rei.' 'I'd never hurt Rei, I love him too much.' All he said were LIES! I can't deal with this shit! I already wanted to pound Kai into the ground for leaving, but now seeing how hard Rei's taking it, I want to kill him. Preferably in the most painful way possible."
"I, in a million years, would never have expected this from Kai. I thought he loved Rei. They were so happy together. They complimented each other so well, worked perfectly as a team, never argued at all and were just all around the perfect couple. I looked up to their relationship so much…." Max said sadly, snuggling closer to Takao who in return started to stroke his back comfortingly. "I guess Kai was just using him for his love and over-all constant devotion to him so he felt loved, knowing that Rei would probably love him for him no matter what he did wrong. That's plain sad…."
"Him leaving Rei, who clearly shows he'd spend the rest of his life with him even though he's still so young, for something as ridiculous and fake as an artificial bit-beast really fries my circuits!" Dizzi said.
"I guess he just couldn't resist the unlimited power and technology they clearly have… it's so disappointing of him." Kenny said, shaking his head. "I expected more out of him."
"Yeah… we did too." Max and Takao chorused.
"You know, I think it's somewhat silly that Rei is acting like this. I mean, he was a perfect boyfriend to Kai. He shouldn't blame himself for this like he has recently…. The fault is completely Kai's." Dizzi said thoughtfully. Takao, Max and Kenny all nodded.
"Yeah, come to think of it…. Why is Rei blaming himself? He shouldn't." Takao said. "Kai chose that bit-beast and blade on his own terms. It has absolutely nothing to do with Rei."
"Who knows why…? But we all know Rei is the type of person who blames mostly himself for everything that goes wrong around him. So…" Kenny trailed off. "Yeah…."
"I'm gonna bring him a take-out box, even though it's pointless and see if he wants or needs anything…." Max said, got up off of Takao and walked into the kitchen. Max looked around and saw the bags of take-out on the counter. He opened up one of the bags of food and took out a random box, plastic utensils and some napkins. He went over to the door to Rei's bedroom with the stuff and knocked softly. Max heard some rustling from within and then the door swung open slowly, revealing an eerie glow from a single lit candle and then pitch blackness. He walked in slow and cautious, watching out for the shards of glass on the floor bound to be there, as Rei was breaking things earlier, and whatever else that Rei had decided to throw around.
"Rei…?" Max asked, with a little waver in his voice, seeing as how the room was totally pitch-black except for the candle lit on the bedside table next to the bed.
"Yes, Max?" Rei asked his voice raspy and quiet.
"Where… are you exactly?" Max asked, a bit unsure as to where Rei's voice was currently coming from.
"I'm right here… curled up under the comforter." Rei said as his arm came out of the comforter and flicked the lights on and sending the room into a bit of light, just enough to see everything. "What do you need?"
"Oh, it's nothing. I just brought you some food and wanted to see if you needed or wanted anything, that's all."
"Thanks, Maxie. Could you just put the food on the dresser?" Max nodded and put the food on the dresser, next to all the other take-out boxes and trays of food that were previously brought here by Takao, Kenny or himself. Max made a mental note to record that Rei hasn't anything at all. Max then moved over to sit next to the mass of raven hair poking out from the lump in the dark purple comforter and stroked it comfortingly, causing it to move. The comforter came down half way so Max was able to look Rei straight in the face and he didn't at all like what he saw. His eyes were a dull gold colour, not like its usually glittery gold amber, bloodshot and glistening with tears that were sure to fall anytime soon, his hair and braid was a tangled mess, he was wearing all black pyjamas that were crinkly and crumply and his cheeks were abused with tears and a pale white. He just basically looked absolutely terrible. 'Oh Rei… I wish I could help you.' Max thought with a sad expression on his face as he took in Rei's appearance. 'Oh God, Rei… you look so terrible….' Rei felt the sad gaze upon him and his tears welled up even more.
"Anything else, Max?" Rei asked, sniffing, trying so hard not to cry in front of Max. Max took a while to answer.
"I just want you to know… that even though we don't understand the full impact in which this has hit you, we're all here for you to talk to and for someone to listen to. We may not be feeling what you feel, but we can at least try. All we want is for you to feel better, alright Rei?" Rei cracked a small, tiny smile for the blonde.
"Thanks, Maxie but… I'll be fine. Really. Don't worry about me, 'k?" Rei sniffed again and blew his nose into a tissue he grabbed off the bedside table. "Could you leave me alone now? I'm going to take a bath now."
'Oh Rei… not again. Not the bath again…' Max felt tears sting his eyes but stayed strong. "Alright, Rei… Feel better, okay?" Rei nodded and smiled the best he could. Max smiled back through the tears in his eyes, patted Rei's shoulder, got up off the bed and made his way out of the room. As Max made his way back into the living room wiping away the few stray tears falling down his cheeks, Takao bombarded him with questions.
"Maxie! Maxie, is he okay? Is he eating? How did he look?" Takao spotted the tears on his lover's cheek and ran over to him, hugging him tight. "Oh Maxie… are you okay?" Max smiled at Takao and laid his head on Takao's shoulder.
"He said he'll be fine. He looked awful and he hasn't been eating anything that we brought him."
"Poor kid… he must really love Kai and miss him a lot." Dizzi commented. "This is so hard for him… I hate seeing him like this, poor Rei. I wish there was something we could do… like bring Kai back or something."
"Well, that cold hearted bastard is long gone now." Takao growled. "And he's not coming back. Ever." Takao tilted Max's face up to his and he planted a small kiss on his lips then walked them both into the kitchen with Kenny following. They went straight to the counter where the food was, took out the take-out and began to eat in an uncomfortable silence, all looking down at their food uncomfortably as they ate in the silence.
Meanwhile in Rei's room
(Rei's POV)
- Na na, na na na na na
I miss you
I miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad…
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh…
Na na, na na na na na…
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the lips
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't…
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh…
I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up?
I keep asking why
I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
Happened you passed by…
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back…
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh…
Na na, na na na na na…
I miss you… -
It's nice that they all care about me and how hard they're trying to understand how I feel and make me feel better… but no one understands the immense pain I'm in… No one…
Right after Max left, I crawled out from under the comforter and stumbled my way over to the en-suite bathroom to take my daily depressing reflection bath… you'll see what I mean by reflection soon enough. I turned on the taps, making the water hot enough to sting but not so hot that I could get burned, and added some bubble bath mixture. While the bath was filling, I stripped off and grabbed a big fluffy towel from the rack above the toilet. (AN: do not drool… that's Kai's job) I decided to leave my hair in its braid until I finish reliving the goddamned memories I can't stop reliving which is when I'll wash my hair. The bath was filled and I got in, leaving the towel on the floor for easy reaching. Now… the reflection begins as I soak up the water…
Flashback
It was after I lost Driger in that match with Kevin, the mountain accident with Mao, Lee and Takao, the night after the semi-finals match when Takao and I were caught in the landslide where I twisted my ankle and the night before the finals against my old team the White Tigers. Takao, Kenny, Max and Kai were all asleep while I was still up, staring out the window. I was worried about the match, more so than anyone else. Going up against them, I don't know what to think. It was so confusing for me and the only one who could help me was all the way on the other side of the continent in Russia. I sighed, mumbling my sister's name and wishing that she were here to help me. I tried contacting her through our bond… but she was freaking asleep. Damn girl… gah… Just when I need to talk to her, she falls asleep. Wake up damn it! While shuffling my position a bit, I accidentally pushed my twisted ankle the other way and gave a pained cry and a whimper out loud. This is great… just great. Fuck, this hurts! Stupid, stupid, stupid…. Hope I didn't wake anyone up. Ow, ow, ow… In a weird instant, Kai was awake, had sat up, moved close to me, grabbed my ankle and was massaging it, trying to relieve it of some pain. Thank Kami it was pretty dark so Kai couldn't see my face flush twelve shades of crimson. "Uh… uh… K-Kai what are y-you doing?" I stammered nervously while swallowing hard. I just had to swallow because he's so damned good at this… And it's not everyday the sex-god of a elder teen captain you're head over heels for and totally in love with since like forever one day (or night) grabs your ankle and starts to massage it.
Kai looked up at me with a scowl… but there was some other intention underneath that scowl, I just couldn't pinpoint it. "Rei, what does it look and feel like I'm doing? Baka neko." I growled slightly at the insult but then when I saw Kai's oddly playful smirk in the semi-darkness of the room, I realized he was trying to be playful. But… when did Kai start to be playful? Kai, playful? Those two words don't go together in the same sentence. Doesn't make sense- Oh Kami why does he have to be so good at this?! I whimpered quietly, causing Kai's smirk to widen just a bit. Oh Gods, mustn't moan… must NOT moan. Can't moan. Don't, Rei… DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT moan. Rei… have some self-control. I know it's been your lifelong dream to have Kai massage practically anywhere on your body, but you must not moan, you hear me? Self-control, Rei, self-control. … Crap, I'm losing it. He's just too good! I whimpered again and bit the inside of my cheek. Once the urges went down a little, I decided to say something.
"You're massaging my ankle." Okay, I know I'm pointing out the obvious, but I really need the confirmation. Kai just looked at me and rolled his eyes.
"Obviously."
"Why?" Kai hesitated with his answer, and I was beginning to feel like maybe he actually cared about me more than a team-mate. But…
"Because it's hurt and we need you tomorrow in the finals against your former friends and team-mates." Kai said blatantly, avoiding eye contact with me as he concentrated on my ankle. Shame really… I love his crimson orbs.
"So you're just doing this because you need me in tomorrow's match?" Great going, Rei! Thinking he actually cared about you more than a team-mate. How wrong could I get?! "And to think, I thought you actually cared about me and the pain I'm in. Guess I thought wrong of you. Again. You know, I'm beginning to think I have a really wrong impression of who you are as a person, Kai."
"Who said I don't?" Whoa, did he just go and say what I thought he said? Am I going delusional on myself or did he seriously say that? I swear I think I just heard him imply that he cares about me. Well not me, but just caring in general. Oh how I wish he did care about me. No. Wait. Stop Rei, you're getting ahead of yourself. But yet…
"No one said you don't…. While we make extreme efforts to make you like us so you'd be our friend and treat us as more than merely people who help you win tournaments, some even go way out of their way just to impress you by the way, judging by how you act around us, you don't care much or even at all for us except when it has something to do with our blading." Wow, a full sentence without stammering… that's a surprise. I thought I'd have stammered all the way through that, seeing how NERVOUS I am right now!
"I don't care actually." And all my hope that he actually does care just comes crashing down again. What the Hell does he think he's doing, playing around like this! He keeps bringing up my hopes and then dropping them like a fucking roller coaster! MAKE UP YOUR MIND DAMN IT!
"Figured as much." I said, sighing in annoyance while resting on elbow on my raised knee and my chin in my hand. Kai looked up at me and raised a playful and sly eyebrow. Not the playfulness again. That tricked me once, it's not happening again. I'm not falling for it.
"For them Rei-Chan, I didn't say you. Baka." Aww… even with my somewhat new-found resistance, I still went all fluttery when he added 'chan' to my name. If only he meant it… Hmm, then again, maybe he does? Oh STOP IT REI! You're jumping to conclusions. Just… stop.
"Uh huh…. Sure there, Kai-Kun." I said sarcastically, putting emphasis on the 'Kai-Kun' while nodding at him.
"What? Don't believe me Rei-Rei?" … did he just call me what I think he called me? My Chinese name? Aww… it sounds so nice coming from him. Wait, he's probably still just playing around. Never mind.
"Sure I believe you, Kai. You don't care about the others but you care about me. Mm hmm! Yeah, it's so obvious that you do, Kai." I said, still being sarcastic. "Of course I don't believe you when you say that, Kai!" Kai smirked which made me feel rather uncomfortable.
"What would make you believe that I do?" I stared at him with big round eyes. O… k… wasn't expecting that kind of response.
"I don't know. I'm not even sure if you're playing around or being serious so how in Kami's name should I know how you can make me believe you?" I huffed. Well if he cares about me the way I want him to, there is a way to convince me… I'm just saying. "Besides, I don't even know what way of 'caring' you're talking about. If you're talking about a friend, okay that's plausible because it's obvious you're much more open with me than with the others and I get along with you better than they do. But if you're talking about the romantic way, that's hard for me to swallow." What just happened? Did I just say that? Shit…! Bad mouth! I kicked myself mentally. Baka, baka, baka….
"Which way do you want me to care about you, Rei?" Kai had stopped massaging my ankle and moved closer so he's now basically about 7 inches away from my face. I swallowed hard, producing a loud audible gulp. I think I'm going to have a heart attack. He's too close… I can feel his warm breathe on my neck that's strangely and somehow making its way over to me. My heartbeat is going off the chart! Can't take this! I whimpered a third time, this time a little louder.
"U-u-u-uh…" Oh God, what do I say, what do I say?!! Think of something clever that implies the way you want (since you were going to tell him anyway because it was eating away at you day by day and now might be a good time) but also without revealing you like him! "W-whatever way y-you want, K-Kai… I don't mind. F-friend is good… and in the off chance of romantic, I d-don't really mind e-either." Good going, Rei! Nice! I'm proud of you!
Kai raised an eyebrow and he started to smile a tiny bit. He has a really nice smile. He should do it more often. "Really, Rei? You don't mind if it's romantic?"
"Well, I-I… uh, no, not really. I wouldn't mind." Heartbeat increasing by 2…
"Seriously, Rei?" I think I caught him by surprise. In the good surprising way, surprisingly not the bad way. "Why not?"
"Uh… uhhm… I know the others think of you as a cold-hearted bastard, a loner and anti-social at the very least, that you care about nothing but blading and winning. But to me… I think you're a really nice person but just reluctant to show it. I'm sure you're a really sweet and caring guy underneath that cold exterior and you just need the right person to bring it out of you." Heartbeat increasing by 4… Stay strong, Rei, you're doing okay….
"You have such a high opinion of me, Rei."
"Uh… yeah, I guess I do." I smiled and he smiled back.
"Any particular reason why, Rei?"
I blushed and looked away. Because I'm madly in love with you, that's why! "I just do, there's no reason." Please don't interrogate me further even though I know you have a feeling about how I feel towards you now that I've said so much!
"You said the right person would be able to bring the guy out from underneath my cold exterior."
Confused as to why he said that, I said "Yeah… why?"
"Do you know anyone? Anyone who could do that particular job?" Why is he asking me this…? "I mean, the way you said it, it sounded like you might know someone."
"Well… anyone could try to fulfill that. But the right person should be someone you think is the right one, not someone I think is perfect. So there's no point in me telling you who I think could do it."
"Not even a hint?"
"Nope." I smiled slyly and he pouted. Aww! That's SO CUTE!
"Fine…." Kai pouted some more, which was really uncharacteristic of him. And really kawaii, to say the very least. "It doesn't matter anyway because I think I've found that someone already so there'd be no point in you telling me, like you said." You can just hear my heart cracking in half…
"R-really… I-I… I'm happy for you." He likes someone else. I think… I'm going… to cry. The tears are already filling up in my eyes. "Uh… mind if I ask who it is?" He smiled again. I might be about to cry my eyes out, but his smile still makes me happy. Somewhat.
"I'm looking right at him."
"Huh…?"
"I feel like you're that perfect person… who can bring the real me out of this mask. Whenever I'm around you, I feel this urge to smile all the time. You make me happy; something no has been able to do before, besides my best friends. You bring up all these emotions inside me whenever you're around… I don't know why. I think… it might be because I… love you." I stared at him with big round eyes. Hiwatari Kai just said he loved me?
"You… love me?" Shocked. Shocked is what I am. Happy too. Very happy. Actually, I don't know what I'm feeling! Everything maybe! Kai nodded shyly at my question and averted his gaze. I smiled at his shyness and crawled over to him, sitting myself in his lap sideways and wrapping my arms around his neck, still smiling by the way. Oh, in case you don't know why even though it's pretty obvious, IT'S BECAUSE I'M NOW THE HAPPIEST PERSON EVER!!! Anyway, Kai looked down at me with a bit of confusion.
"Rei?" I immediately responded by leaning up with lightning quick movement and covered his lips with mine in an innocent, chaste kiss.
"I love you too, Kai." I said, smiling galore. He smiled back and leaned down for another kiss…
Flashback ends
So many memories… so much pain…. God… this is killing me… yet, even though each memory I relive in my mind brings strikes an arrow through the pieces of my shattered, broken heart… I can't not replay each one over and over again in my head…
Flashback
"I won't ever leave you, Rei… I'd never do that… okay? Stop worrying so much, love." He pulled me close and held me for what seems like forever as we stood on the rooftop of our hotel building in the moonlight.
Flashback ends
Flashback
"Ai shiteru Rei… always and forever." He said, looking into my eyes while tilting my chin up and planting a soft kiss on my lips. It made me so happy… hearing him say that.
Flashback ends
Flashback
Takao, being the stupid idiot he is, pissed Kai off and scared me by saying that if Kai would hurt him intentionally then he'd probably hurt me too.
"I'd never hurt you Rei! I love you too much to do that! Never think that I'd hurt you!" He rambled while hugging me close and tenderly wiping the tears off my cheeks. I nodded and lay my head on his shoulder, making Max and Kenny go "aww!" and Takao gag. (He and Max hadn't gotten together as of yet)
Flashback ends
Flashback
I had gone off somewhere without telling Kai so I could think and ponder some stuff over and had just got back.
"Don't ever run off like that, Rei! You worried me sick!" Kai's voice got a bit softer after seeing the terrified look on my face. "Just… remember to tell me where you're going next time, okay…?" He hugged me close to him and I felt… safe.
Flashback ends
Flashback
I had been somewhat avoiding Kai but not for a bad reason…. Kai got fed up and decided to confront me straight up.
"Do you love me, Rei?"
Surprised that he'd ask me that because, of course, me being me, I was oblivious to the fact that I was ignoring Kai, I exclaimed "Of course I love you, Kai!" Relief spread through his features.
"Good… 'Coz… I love you too." He didn't say it all that much in the beginning of our relationship, so it sounded nice whenever he said it.
Flashback ends
Flashback
"Rei… would you ever leave me?" I shook my head furiously. "That's good. I wouldn't either."
Flashback ends
Were you ever worried about me Kai?
Did you even actually care when I ran off without telling you?
Were you sure you would never hurt me?
Were you sure you'd never leave me?
Did you love me as much as you say you did, Kai?
Do you even care about me at all, Kai?
Do you Kai…?
Not even the tiniest bit?
Ha…
No…
Of course you didn't…
You don't love me…
You never did…
Otherwise, you'd still be here…
Holding me…
Kissing me…
Comforting me…
… How could you do this to me Kai?
I loved you so much…
I was so devoted to you…
I never questioned you or anything you decided for that matter!
… If I did something to upset you…
To make you choose that stupid beyblade…
You should've told me…
I would've changed…
Not for anyone else, but I would've for you!
All I do is for you Kai!
To make you happy, make you feel loved…
Why did you leave me?!
Oh Kai…
Please… Onegai…
Come back…
I need you…
I love you…
Kai…
I know I'm a wreck right now. You'd be stupid not to know when you've completely broken down. I mean, c'mon…. Take a look around my room for instant… Food that I should be eating is all piled on the dresser, the curtains are all drawn so not even a bit of daylight or moonlight can penetrate the dark atmosphere, one single candle is lit and sometimes only one bedside table lamp is on (the working one, at least…), casting an eerie glow in my room, the comforter is all bunched up into a big lump on the bed in which I could only find the way into, things are broken like… the other lamp is knocked over for instance, and pictures have been thrown onto the floor among other things, I've definitely broken down. Of course, I'm telling you this from my photographic memory, seeing as I am right now in the bath, reflecting.
The Rei you see before you is no longer the Rei he was… now he's a pathetic depressed loser who locked himself into a room because his boyfriend left him for something else that's obviously more important than him and no one wants him anymore. If you're about to object, hear me out. If people wanted me, they'd have stayed around. If I wasn't a loser, he'd still be here. God how I hate myself right now…. I must've done something so horrible to Kai that he'd so readily agree to go back to that stinking abbey. Yeah, he told me everything that he knew, which was little of course, about his past and his time in the abbey. Because he loved me and didn't want to keep any secrets from me. Suuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he did…. Fucking bastard sniff. Don't tell me shit when you don't love me, god…. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have told you all my secrets! Like I'm afraid of spiders and all kinds of things of those sorts. Or my past for that matter. Normally I wouldn't even give anyone the microscopic bit of my past but look how easily I spilled the beans to you. Can you tell how much I loved- love you now, Kai?
Damn, I've been crying a lot… my pillow case is soaked… my PILLOW is soaked… and even the BEDDING is soaked somewhat that I now leave to dry while I am in here, frolicking in water. I'm a pathetic mess over this. But can you really blame me?! Honestly now. You'd be like me too if the person you considered spending the rest of your life with just left you outta the blue and joined up with the other side! Wait… Kilana's on the other side. But that's different… never mind. She had no control over why she's on the other side and it's been since the beginning so I can not blame her. However, I can feel this way about Kai. I dunked my head under the way, took out my braid and began to wash my hair in frustration while tears began to sting my eyes.
- Tidal waves, they rip right through me
Tears fall down now, cold and sad
Pick me up now
I need you so bad… -
God… I can't live without Kai. I just can't. It's not the same without him… He encouraged me on everything I did. I need him for so much… Why did he leave me…? I don't know what to do without you, Kai… Please, someone tell me why… And, as usual, I stopped washing my hair and started to cry pathetically… no one can tell I'm crying though because of the water… but who cares. Kai… why did you leave me? I was so good to you… I slipped under the surface of the water and just… stayed there… staring up…
- I'm giving up on everything
Because you messed me up
Don't know how much you screwed it up
You never listened
That's just too bad… -
I was there for him when he needed comfort… I gave him advice… I loved and still do love him… I cared for him when he was ill, which was never often but occasional… I cooked for him and him alone… I was completely devoted and basically lived to be with him… I was perfect… what did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?! It doesn't make any sense…! I resurfaced, taking in big gulps of air then dunked my head once more to clean off suds. What did I do wrong?! What?!! I can't stand this! I got up out of the bath, pulled the plug, grabbed the towel, dried off, wrapped the towel around my waist and stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at my pathetic face. In pure frustration, I slammed my fist onto the hotel mirror, cracking it and turned around facing the other way.
- Because I'm moving on
I won't forget
You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up
And be strong
Don't patronize me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah… -
Stupid freaking Kai! Can't believe he did this to me! I was the best boyfriend! Just ask Max and Takao! They looked up to our relationship! I treated him with love and respect and constant devotion! I was good and he knows it! All I asked for was the same in return…. Of course, he did give it to me but that isn't the case! I also expected that he'd keep his promises to me. To love me, care for me, make me happy, treat me right, to never leave me, to not hurt me…. He promised Kilana all those things too!
- Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now?
You never got it
Do you get it now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah… -
Ooh this pisses me off! That no good, lousy son of a bitch…. How dare he disrespect me like this after all I've done for him? You know what? I've just realized that I've been a complete idiot feeling and acting like this… locking myself in my room for a day and a half, crying my bloody fucking eyes out and starving myself silly. The fault isn't mine! IT'S HIS! COMPLETELY HIS! I had no part in why he chose that fucking artificial bit-beast! He did it all on his own free fucking will! I've been nothing but the perfect boyfriend to Kai and if didn't see that than I'm sorry, but your LOSS! It's time I got some answers from Kai and Kai got his just desserts! And he gets something extra too: a painful beating! I'm so going to storm that abbey where the damn bastard is right now and give him a piece of my mind… And my fist too! He'll never see it coming. Time for me to take charge, and it starts by me getting dressed, then me STORMING THE ABBEY!
Back in the living room…
(end POV)
Takao, Max and Kenny had finished eating dinner and were now sitting around in the living room once again, eating left over green tea ice cream in the fridge that was, you guessed it, Takao's and were all watching T.V. Occasionally, someone would try to talk about Rei and Kai's predicament, but no one wanted talk in detail about it anymore than they had already, so conversations were cut short. Then the bath in Rei's room came on, causing Max to say something.
"Do you hear that?" Max asked, looking at Rei's door.
"Yeah… Rei's taking a bath. What's the big deal, Maxie?" Takao asked, spooning another mouthful of ice cream into his mouth. Max gasped at Takao's stupidity.
"What's the big deal? What's the big deal?! Do you know what this means?!" Max asked frantically.
"What…? I'm clueless here. I don't see what the big deal, to be honest." Kenny shook his head at Takao.
"Takao… Max means that usually when Rei takes a bath, several minutes later he would break out in hysterical crying…" Hysterical crying was heard Rei's room and everyone sighed sadly. "… then once the water was released something would break. It happened yesterday and-" Whoosh… CRACK! Tinkle, tinkle… "It happened today."
"And I'm worried Rei, if he continues with this behaviour, might hurt himself! Intentionally!" Max exclaimed while rubbing his hands together nervously.
"He's just working off the frustration, not committing suicide. Why are you so worried?" Max sighed.
"Because, Takao… HE MIGHT! HE JUST MIGHT! You never know!"
"Well we won't know until he comes out of there… or doesn't…" Right after Takao finished his sentence, Rei slammed the door open and stormed out. "See, Maxie? No suicide…" Rei raised an eyebrow at the comment, but shrugged it off. He was too determined right now to even care.
"Rei?" Max asked worriedly, watching Rei move around like he was possessed.
"Yeah, what is it Max?" Rei said roughly as he grabbed his blue BBA coat from the closet and began to put it on.
"Where you going?" Takao asked, confused.
"Going to the abbey and finding Kai." Rei had completely pulled the coat on and was now pulling on his shoes.
{Rei?! Can you hear me, Rei?! Please, onegai, answer me!} A voice so much like Rei's own but filled with worry and concern floated into his mind.
{What is it sis? What's wrong? You sound so worried…} Rei sent back, obviously confused.
{I know what you're going to do.}
{I thought we promised each other we weren't going to read each other's minds without knowledge.}
{I was just going to check on you when I heard all your thoughts. Gomen.}
{Whatever. I'm still going.}
{Don't, Rei. Onegai, don't do this Rei! It's a really bad idea!}
{Gomen nasai, but I can't wait, sis. I have to get answers! Kai hurt me for no reason and I need to know why!}
{Okay… I know I can't talk you out of it… but at least wait 'till Yuri and I set something up so you can meet! Can you do that, bro? Onegai?!} Kilana pleaded.
{No, I can't do it. I just can't do that. This has gone on long enough and I'm not stopping until I get some answers from that bastard of a boyfriend that I love still!}
{Please, Rei! Reconsider! I'm begging you! Begging, Rei!}
{Sorry, Kilana. I can't do that.} Rei cut off his sister and blocked her mentally. Rei was now all done and headed immediately for the door in swift movement.
"Hold on, Rei." Takao said, stopping Rei in his tracks. He turned around.
"What is it?! I have no time for this." Rei snarled, baring his fangs. Takao smiled suddenly, catching Rei off-guard.
"We'll go with you. We understand that you want answers and believe me, we want some too. So we'll go with you." Takao, Max and Kenny all stood up and smiled at Rei. "The BladeBreakers isn't the BladeBreakers without all the remaining members helping you out."
"Thanks guys." Rei replied smiling.
With that all said and done, the other BladeBreakers pulled on their jackets and shoes and they set out to once and for all find out just what the deal is with the recent actions of one Hiwatari Kai, their former team-mate and captain…
End chapter two…
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Kitten: phew and I'm done… This chapter is just as long as the previous one… if not longer. Hope this chappie satisfies you all! I'm sorry if there are errors or if something doesn't really make sense, gomen nasai for that. I'm just trying to really hard to move the plot along and this actually is my first try at a story with multiple chapters so gomen!
Rei: ¬¬ I went from depressing to psycho killer like in a period of about 1000-2000 words or something… what the Hell?!
Kai: smiles I thought it was good that you realized that it's not your fault and it's actually mine… even though you wanna beat me up now…. You wouldn't… really beat me up would you Rei?
Rei: maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't… I have no idea!
Kai: whimpers at the unsatisfactory answer
Kitten: now, now Rei. Even though I'm making you want to beat up Kai doesn't mean you should. Alright?
Rei: smiles yes ma'am! salutes
Kai: OO!
Kitten: ¬¬ lameness… anyway, I hope this chapter tides you over for a while. Like I said before, I promise I will continue to write during my exam period, especially where I have no exams for three days total, and I'll even update if I get the time. But better safe than sorry. So, you know what to do at the end of every chapter.
Rei & Kai: what do they do?
Kitten: - -"… they press the little purple button next to the drop down list. The button that says "Go" when it's aligned with "Submit review" in the drop down list. You all got that right? Good…. Well, till next time! Lates!
Kai & Rei: bai bai!
Kitten, Kai & Rei: REVIEW!!!