Chapter 4 – Why do you do it?

Harry got up off the floor, wiping his eyes. He stumbled determinedly over to the dresser and pulled out his knife. He sat and looked at it as though it was his best friend for a brief moment, before putting it to his left wrist. He took a deep breath. Then he put as much force as he dared on it and pulled the sharp blade across the vein. Blood began to dribble along his arm, and it dripped off onto the mattress. He made no effort to stop the steady flow, but put the knife back into his dresser as though nothing had happened.

He sat back on the bed, and about two seconds later, the door burst open and Hermione came in. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the state of the room. She looked slowly around at the damage caused by Harry's outburst, before her gaze fell upon Harry's bed. She took in the emotionless expression, the blood on the mattress, the flow from his wrist. With tears in her eyes, Hermione went and sat next to him.

"Harry? she said tentatively, her voice trembling. "Why did you do this?"

Harry sat there silently, staring at the ground near Seamus' sock.

"Harry! Please! You at least owe me an explanation for this!"

Harry took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how to start this.

"I do it, because I'm… I'm scared," he said quietly, barely audibly.

Hermione was taken aback. Harry had never struck her as the type to be afraid of anything.

"Of what, Harry?" she whispered.

"Of what will happen if I try to live happily…"

Hermione was confused. "What do you mean, Harry? I don't understand."

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Ron was walking towards Dumbledore's office with Seamus. He was worried sick about Harry's obsession at looking at the knife, sitting there stroking it like a pet dog. He needed to do something, and so he was. He knocked on the Professor's door at the top of the spiral staircase and when it opened he launched into his story.

"Mr. Weasley, please, calm down. Come inside, sit down and tell me what's wrong at a speed at which I can hear separate words," interrupted Dumbledore with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Once they were inside and seated, Dumbledore spoke again.

"So, what is it that brings you to my office?"

"Well, I know I shouldn't really have the right to say it, but I needed to do something. I – I think Harry's going to kill himself!"

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"Harry, look at me."

He did. He looked up into the peaceful beautiful face that he had fallen in love with.

"Tell me what you mean."

Harry looked away. After a moment, he said, "I'm scared of the love I have, and what it could to the person I love."

Hermione gasped. He'd never told her anything about loving someone before.

"Who, Harry?"

Harry took a deep breath, looked into her eyes and said –

A/N: HAHAHA, ur gonna have to keep reading now. Does he tell her? Find out in the next chapter. Sorry this one was so short by the way.