And I could be,
The one who would die to feel you breath
I could break
Into a
Million pieces so
Just run as fast as you can for me,
You mean everything…
- Sevendust
"You can't ever know. If I told you, it would kill you."
Hermione was lost. "How would it kill me? Harry, what is going on?"
Harry shook his head firmly. "I'm not dragging you into my problems, Hermione. I shouldn't have even brought this up in the first place. Just leave it Hermione, it's nothing to get worried about."
Hermione stood up and leaned over him so her face was almost touching his. "Harry, you are slitting your wrist. If this was something that I needn't worry about, you wouldn't be doing that."
"I only did it once!"
"Harry you still did it! You shouldn't have done it at all, you shouldn't have needed to, you shou-" she broke off and collapsed into his arms. Then she whispered into his ear, "Just please don't. You and Ron… you mean everything to me… I can't lose you… please Harry…"
He hugged her, half of him wishing that he could have this all the time, and the other half telling him that he was getting too close even with this small gesture. He cursed himself inside, swore at himself for being stupid. Why had he done this? From now on, it was going to be a lot harder to pretend.
"I'm sorry," he whispered back.
llllllllllllllllllllllll
Since the incident with Hermione, Harry had been under close supervision of Ron, who Harry suspected had been given orders by Hermione not to leave him alone. This became a problem because Harry could no longer have any peace, and was now unable to do anything on his own.
"For the last fucking time Ron, I can go to the toilet without dying!" yelled Harry one day, after Ron had tried to follow him to the bathroom for the fifth time.
"Yeah, well how do I know what you're up to?" Ron retorted.
"I'm not gonna do anything that I shouldn't be! I'll promise you that if it means you'll get off my back about it!"
Ron looked suspicious. "You promise?" he asked warily.
"Secret handshake on it!" Harry said firmly.
"Fine."
After that, Ron left Harry alone about it, which allowed Harry time to think, and every now and then, slit his wrists, elbows or anywhere that spilled blood. Sometimes he wondered if he was breaking his promise, but then he would remind himself that he had not promised not to cut, but that he wouldn't do anything he shouldn't do. In his mind, cutting wasn't something he shouldn't be doing, so as far as he was concerned, he was doing nothing to break his promise.
Harry soon found that unless he found a way to cover the scars and cuts in his body, people were going to notice that they were there. He went down to the Library one day in the hopes that they would have a book containing a healing or concealing spell of some sort. Saying good morning to Madam Pince on the way past, he walked to the shelf titled Healing, Medicines and Antidotes. He selected a few books and settled himself into a seat in a corner away from the main body of the Library.
He flipped open Spells To Heal Physically Induced Injuries and began to scan through the contents. After searching the books he had selected and finding nothing, he returned them to their shelves and began to look for more helpful titles. AS he rounded the corner of the shelf, his eyes fell upon a small, dusty black book. He picked up and blew the dust off the cover to reveal the words Spells For Suicidals and Self-Injurers written in small red letters. Entranced by the new find, he returned to his chair in the corner and opened the book to the first page.
Dear Reader,
Before we begin with the spells held within the pages of our works, we wish it to be known that the contents are intended only to help a sufferer in need. You will find nothing that could do any damage to or kill any reader. We do not wish death upon any person, for we believe that there is a different way to end all the pain that can be felt from life.
Yours sincerely,
Taren Hasselford, Author, and Ender Calloback, Editor.
Harry was intrigued. He flicked slowly through the pages, taking in the pictures and explanations, the incantations and even potions, and eventually he stopped on a page that had a moving picture underneath a title, followed by a step by step guide as to how to perform the spell.
Harry thought for a moment before making up his mind. He walked over to the desk at the front to borrow the book. Madam Pince was busy making returned books sort themselves into piles according to category, and turned when she heard him approach.
"Well now, Mr. Potter, what can I do for you?" she asked briskly.
"I want to borrow this," he replied, placing the book in question on the desk.
She frowned slightly when she saw the title, and said, "Now why would need a book like this, Mr. Potter? I thought we'd gotten rid of these a long time ago, but apparently we missed a few…"
"I'm just studying it, no need to worry. And don't get rid of them, they could come in useful one day."
"Very well then, here you go, and need I remind you to take care of that. It may be a depressing book, but it's still a book. Damage it and you will be buying new copies."
"Of course," Harry quickly replied, and he hurried out of the Library and on towards his dormitory.
A/N: Thank you so much to all my reviewers, and terribly sorry about the massive cliffy at the end of last chapter, but it just had to be done. Hope you liked this chapter, and sorry about the long wait, I've been occupied with other things lately. Please Review, you know the drill by now!