A/N: I finally decided to touch the oh so annoying subject of vampire offspring! Also is been a while since I did a Buffy fic! i miss my Scooby gang! I know that buffy/Spike preggers have been done to death (I read 4 fics about it) but I just needed to give it a go myself! Hope you like it, cuase is a series! oooh!

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy The Vampire Slayer, cause if I did Season 6 would've not giving me a headache, but sadly it did.

Timeline: Season 6, cuase is the only season where something this stupid could happen. Before "Hell's Bells" cause i like my Xander/Anya and Season 6 Andrew was not worhty of Xander.

A/N: This is all mostly set up, so bare with me!

Title: My Baby's Father.

Chapter The First. Not the evil one.

Spike skipped happily, in a very non-Spike way, through the cemetery gate, heading for his crypt. Tonight the slayer was coming over for a nice 7-hour marathon of sex. 'Eat your heart out, Peaches' Spike thought as he opened his Crypt door.

"Time to set the mood." He said to himself as he proceeded to place the cheesy candles and rose petals around his bed. Just like he used to for Ang-Dru! He meant Dru.

In one swift move he removed his clothes and spread on the bed, the pillows strategically covering Spike jr. How he loved shagging the slayer rotten. He sat there with his big grin, waiting for his Buffy.

Buffy walked in her house and in a quick, but really slow for a slayer, way she headed up the stairs. She had gone to the drug store right after her shift at the Double Meat Palace was over. She only wished she hadn't run into Clem there.

"Hey Buffy." The demon had greeted her when he bumped into her in the aisle. "What are you doing by the pregnancy tests?"

"Oh, I'm just...um I must be confuse. I was looking for toothpaste." Buffy lamely covered.

"Oh. I'm just here buying shampoo, see?" The demon, who didn't have any visible hair, said as he waved the shampoo in his claw-like hand.

After twenty minutes of talking about kittens and how good they are, Clem left and Buffy bought the test. She hoped she was just being paranoid. Vampires just can't have children. Is impossible. And lame. Very lame. VERY.

Buffy got to the bathroom but founded occupied. "Who's in there?" She said while banging the door. She then notice smoke coming from inside. "Willow? You better not be doing magic! You are addicted! Like addicts! Cause magic is bad!" Buffy said after-school-special-y.

"Don't worry." Willow said as she came out, in a non-gay way. She just walked out of the bathroom. "I was only using the tub for bong water. Is not magic." She clarified.

"Oh thank god." Buffy sighed and then completely ignored her best friend, who clearly had issues and locked herself in the bathroom.

Buffy patiently followed the instruction on the box and waited for the results. A shrieking sound on the other side interrupted her waiting. "Get out, Get out GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUTT!" Dawn screeched. "I need to pee! Now!"

"Dawn! I'm busy, could you please wait a few minutes?" Buffy yelled.

"Whatever. Is not like you're really here, anyway!" Dawn said in her patented I'm-a-teenager-and-therefor-I-have-to-be-annoying-and-petulant-towards-everyone-around-me voice as she stalked to her crazy-monk-made-up room and slammed the door.

Buffy checked her stylish, yet affordable watch again. The time was up. She cautiously walked to the small stick and picked it up. Her eyes widen and her pulse started to race. Buffy The Vampire Slayer was pregnant.

Spike waited for three hours before deciding to go out. After pulling on his black jeans, black T-shirt, black boots and black leather coat, he stalked his way around Sunnydale. He headed straight to the Magic Box to see what he could steal to spice his blood up.

He entered through the backdoor and headed to the supply room. Waving at the mummy hand as he came in, he headed for the stack of spices. Spike's nicking spree was interrupted by Xander, who was coming in. "Well, if it isn't dead boy jr.! Is captain peroxide stealing from us again? Is this all that Billy Idol wannabe has been reduced to?" Xander spat as he walked over.

"Why can't you call by my name, you sodding wanker? And I'll have you bloody know Billy Idol stole his look-"

"Why are you not around anymore?" Xander whined. "You're the only male that I hung out with since Giles left and you hardly spend time with me anymore. Is like you forgot about me."

"Is that right?" Spike arched his eyebrow in that sexy, devilish, handsome, dangerous and millions of other type of descriptions sort of way he had. "I'm been busy."

"Well I missed you..."

"Me too..."

"Xander!" Anya shouted as she stormed in. Her blonde hair flowing behind her. "I just finished counting money so I'm horny, can you come upstairs so you can give me orgasms?" She said motioning Xander up the stairs.

"Ok." Xander looked back at Spike. "We'll talk later."

Spike nodded as he watched the young horny couple leave. After filling his coat with many items like Dawn had showed him to, Spike headed up the stairs. He found Willow franticly stroking a candle in her hand in a non-gay way. "You ok, Red?" he asked as he walked over.

"Huh?" Willow dropped the candle. "I wasn't-I mean, I didn't-I'm spell free! I'm beating this! Honest! I'm not even writing Harry Potter fics anymore!"

"Right." Awkward beat. "Have you seen the slayer?" Spike asked, keeping his cool I-don't-give-a-damn-what-you-say- demeanor.

"Oh." Willow calm down. She took a swig of the 6 gallons of water she always had with her and answered Spike. "She's at her doctor."

The cool demeanor was dropped and William the whipped showed his love-stalker face. "Is she alright? She's not hurt, is she?"

Willow didn't notice Spike concern look since her eyes were stuck in some crystal balls. They were calling to her. One little spell. Only one. Just... one... spell.

"Well?" Spike asked again, snapping Willow out of it.

"Oh, she didn't say."

Spike tilted his head in that way he did whenever he needed to express confusion, or anger, or lust, or love, or comprehension, or hunger, or sickness. He quickly stalked out of the shop and headed to the Summers household.

To be continued...